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Caption Competition

Written By: - Date published: 3:25 pm, August 7th, 2009 - 35 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour, john key - Tags:

Key looking very intelligent

35 comments on “Caption Competition”

  1. bill brown 1

    Here’s my impersonation of a train whistle…

  2. Pat 2

    “No-one has seen Phil Goff for days and we’re all getting very concerned, so I’ve just initiated a nationwide police search to find him, and if he is watching this please Phil call someone to let them know you are OK”

  3. catty 3

    ooooooerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

  4. Deep Throat 4

    “Wait a minute. One at a time. I have a different answer for different audiences.”

  5. “We pay Bill how much a week for him to live in his own house?”

  6. JustRight 6

    “Oh, Chris Carter thinks he is going to get away with $80K travel does he?”

  7. BLiP 7

    “Listen hear you lot – we know where you live, who you live with, where your kids go to school, your criminal records, your health problems, your income tax details for the last 10 years, and the phone numbers of your company’s the ten biggest advertisers are on my speed dial. Understood?”

  8. vidiot 8

    Can’t touch this (x2)
    Can’t touch this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)

    My-my-my-my policies hits me so hard makes me say oh my Lord
    Thank you for blessing me with a mind to rhyme and two hyped feet
    It feels good when you know you’re down
    A super-rich homeboy from Auckland
    And I’m known as such
    And this is a beat uh u can’t touch

    I told you homeboy u can’t touch this
    Yeah that’s how we’re livin’ and you know u can’t touch this
    Look in my eyes man u can’t touch this
    You know let me bust the funky lyrics u can’t touch this

    Fresh new kicks and pants
    You got it like that now you know you wanna chance
    So move out of your seat
    And get a fly girl and catch this beat
    While it’s rollin’ hold on pump a little bit
    And let me know it’s going on like that like that
    Cold on a mission so pull on back
    Let ’em know that you’re too much
    And this is a beat uh u can’t touch

    Yo I told you u can’t touch this
    Why you standing there man u can’t touch this
    Yo sound the bells parliament is in goof u can’t touch this

    Give me a song or rhythm
    Making ’em sweat that’s what I’m giving ’em
    Now they know when you talk about the Key
    You talk about a show that’s hyped and tight
    Singers are sweatin’ so pass them a mic
    Or a tape to learn what it’s gonna take
    And now he’s gonna burn
    The charts legit either work hard
    Or you might as well quit

    That’s word because you know
    U can’t touch this (oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)
    Break it down
    (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh) (x4)
    Stop Key time

    Go with the economy in a spin if you can’t move to this
    Then you probably are dead
    So wave your hands in the air
    Bust throught the moves run your fingers through your hair
    This is it for a winner
    Dance to this and you’re gonna be a winner
    Move slide your rump
    Just for a minute let’s all do the bump
    Bump bump bump yeah

    U can’t touch this
    Look man u can’t touch this
    You’ll probably get hyped boy
    ‘Cause you know you can’t u can’t touch this
    Ring the bell school’s back in break it down
    (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (x4)
    Stop Key time
    (Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)
    (Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh)
    (Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) u can’t touch this (x3)
    (Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) break it down
    (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (x2)
    Stop Key time

    Every time you see me that Key’s just so hype
    I’m dope on the floor and I’m magic on the mic
    Now why would I ever stop doing this
    With others makin’ records that just don’t hit
    I toured around the world from Kaitaia to the West Coast
    It’s Key go Key
    mc Key yo Key and the rest can go and play

    U can’t touch this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)
    U can’t touch this (oh-oh oh-oh-oh)
    Yeah u can’t touch this
    I told you u can’t touch this (oh-oh oh-oh-oh)
    Too hype can’t touch this
    Get me outta here u can’t touch this
    (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

  9. Deep Throat 9

    “Ummmmmmmm. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.”

  10. Pat 10

    “Yeah we thought Garrett vs Cosgrove would make a great telethon event with Mallard vs Henare as the undercard, but Trevor’s got pissed off because he wants to be the main event and locked himself in the mens room. Bill said he could fill in but I told him that’s a definate no after his last piss poor showing at Fight for Life, and anyway Tau said fighting Bill would not be a good look and I agree with him. Tau reckons he could take Darren Hughes but I’ve yet to formally ask him but I have cautioned Tau to not be too cocky since I know redheads can be bloody unpredictable when they’re angry. Paula said she wants to give Annette a good smack in the chops and I said I’ll think about it. Anyway it’s all for a good cause and I’m gonna donate a ham.”

  11. Rex Widerstrom 11

    “Well goooooooooooolly!”

    [You have to be of a certain age to get that].

  12. Kirbya 12

    Vidiot, that was awesome and also means I’ve got that song stuck in my head for the weekend.

  13. Chris G 13

    “Following the success of similar methods in isolation units at mental hospitals, these pastel coloured Rhododendrons are our new initiative to quell the recent outbreak of Parliamentary violence with particular respect to Mr Garrett. These will be thrown by trained marksmen at Mr Garrett everytime he flares up, the pastel colouration having an almost instantaneous calming effect… We anticipate this to also create 250 jobs so it serves two purposes”

  14. lukas 14

    we’ve infiltrated Chris Carters website and rigged the poll so that all votes go our way and Labour lose in polls on their own websites

  15. Ianmac 15

    I have a dream! Ooooh yes!

  16. Mac1 16

    ‘Jobs worth Jobs worth It’s more than me jobs worth….”

    Suggested by the anti-spam word, ‘Jobs”. Sweet sweet sweet inspiration.

  17. lprent 17

    I’m bored with this press conference.

    I can outdo Obama. I’m going to get that fly with my mouth.

    That should get me a globally viewed YouTube for the cv.

    ( and that is why he looks crosseyed and has his mouth wide open )

  18. Steve 18

    ‘Now that Field has been found guilty, who of the opposition is next?”

  19. ak 19

    A Herald photographer captures the moment when a journalist takes his editor’s instructions a little too literally. With typical style and grace, our handsome PM remained unfazed by the incident: “Look I’m pretty relaxed about this” he said later, “Guyon’s always been right behind my prostate check campaign for victims of the Clark years and I’m sure he was just adding his little thing. It’s not like him to slip up.”

  20. The Voice of Reason 20

    You say they call me Goober?

  21. mike 21

    Oi! Chris you @$%&, come back and finish your press conference..

  22. Sting 22

    Oh Chris, Oh Chris, why do you allow Pinko Pigs to fly away all the time?

  23. Craig Glen Eden 23

    Dipton Dipton He lives in Dipton I tell you!

  24. Guys guys, look at me, this is my Bruno, I can do Bruno, guys, guys

  25. Irascible 25

    Rorts? Rorts? Who’s rorting who? As a money speculator I should be able to recognise a rort shouldn’t I?
    I tell you no one in my cabinet is rorting the taxpayer.

  26. Ed 26

    Look, I am the Decider, and as such entitlements of Ministers are for me to decide, and I can assure you that Bill English pays income tax at the same rate as all other Ministers.

  27. coolas 27

    ‘Hey look – this is how I gave Rodney a blow job’

  28. brownsbayboy 28

    “and still I wonder if carter is the giver or the receiver and who cleans up the sheets afterwards.”

    “All traveling perks for gay politicians should be removed”.

    Now I have a really good idea, instead of people being paid by the state to do nothing why don’t they try getting a “job” so that they get some money for themselves.

    [lprent: read the policy about trolls. I don’t tolerate lazy pricks who dump essentially the same comment across different threads. Learn to write your own opinions or don’t write anything at all (I’m happy to assist you in taking the second option). ]

  29. Murray 29

    im going to make all bloggers on The Standard Honorary National Party members as they do such a good job turning people to national

    • lprent 29.1

      Thanks but no thanks. I really have problems accepting the dishonour that you offer. I could wind up like Paula Bennett, unable to distinguish between how she would like to be treated and how she treats others.

  30. I….. I, have become, comfortably ambitious

  31. George.com 31

    I’ve called this press conference to announce that the government has just found an extra $12,000 to pay for the cycle way.

  32. Nick 32

    This is my best monkey noise; ooo ooo oo o

  33. Rob Pendragon 33

    Thank you, but my spare bedroom is already full of old microphones

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