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Caption Competition

Written By: - Date published: 3:53 pm, October 1st, 2009 - 57 comments
Categories: bill english, corruption, john key, national, parliamentary spending - Tags:

Bill English and John Key as the odd couple

57 comments on “Caption Competition”

  1. outofbed 1

    Mallard
    “you’re a 7 letter word followed by a 4 letter word”

  2. Jasper 2

    Key “Hold on, why am I not sitting in the Deputys chair?”

  3. kaplan 3

    Key: “Is that a camera? Hey Bill. Bill. BILL! They are recording this!”

  4. SPC 4

    I am pleased to inform you that I have been appointed Attorney-General and Minister for the Public Trust Office.

  5. r0b 5

    Dumb and Dumber.

    Double Dips.

  6. r0b 6

    Doesn’t look good. I wonder how my shares are doing?

  7. outofbed 7

    “I have in my hand a piece of paper”

  8. kaplan 8

    Key: “Can’t sleep, clown’ll eat me.”

  9. BLiP 9

    The government is today tabling a Bill to reduce personal taxes from 1 April 2009. Its intention is to pass this new tax legislation by Christmas and it  believes this tax reduction will equip New Zealanders with some much needed extra cash in tough economic times.

    This programme of tax reduction is a central part of the economic plan of the Government, because it believes in encouraging New Zealanders to get ahead under their own steam, and it views personal tax reductions as an essential step in ensuring that can happen.

  10. Mac1 10

    Key: Ah yes the days of the old school yard. What DID Anne say about Aorangi School again?

  11. Herodotus 11

    Remember I did fight once in Fight for Life, so I know how to trash talk

  12. outofbed 12

    it is with great regret that I resign my position as Minister of Finance

  13. Bill 13

    And so when John said he had a big wad waiting for…well, look, it was a simple misunderstanding. I misheard was all and acted appropriately under circumstances that struggled to deal with my reality

  14. kaplan 14

    Have you ever tried cleaning up after yourself? It’s not easy!

  15. outofbed 15

    I never really wanted to do this for a living, I wanted to be a ,,,,,

  16. Ianmac 16

    “I’m s-s-s-so-so-sor-sor-so. I am sor-sor-sr-. Dammit! Fonzie had the same problem!”

  17. outofbed 17

    Tis not a crime to pinch a penny

  18. BLiP 18

    The question is not whether he has broken the law, but whether he has behaved according to the standards of a minister.

  19. ak 19

    “oh sure (hic) I’ll resign – eventually…. but look, it’s working, the Nice Man smiles and the punters love us….” ….oh shit!…did I say that out loud again?

  20. outofbed 20

    Annoyed? of course I’m annoyed , when i get home my house will only be 2/3 clean

  21. ak 21

    heh – current Stuff headline: “Key to view damage”

  22. felix 22

    “Previously a problem to reproduction, pandas lose their interest in mating once in captivity”.

  23. outofbed 23

    “Previously a problem to reproduction, pandas lose their interest in mating once in captivity’ Unlike me

  24. r0b 24

    Actually – the way this post lays out on the front page does a pretty good caption too: “Corruption must never be tolerated”…

  25. rod 25

    ” I didn’t get a diploma in milking for nothing”.

  26. BLiP 26

    There’s a set of inevitable problems. It’s like physics, right. If you push something up its gonna drop. If you give people cash, they have high marginal tax rates.

    Okay, that’s it. You can’t get round that. Don thought he could but he couldn’t. So did John [Key] actually but you can’t. So the only raw choice is: fix the problem; or take money off them. And there’s no way you can fix the problems without taking the money off them. So we’re sitting here saying the punters are keen to keep it. They’re facing a recession. The last thing we want is to spend the whole election campaign with families of four on TV saying “Mr Key’s taking money off us”. You can’t do that.

  27. Steve 27

    “A duck’s quack does not echo, but we keep hearing it”

  28. outofbed 28

    You might not like me but at least I don’t engage in Disaster tourism

  29. grumpy 29

    I wish, to tender my…………………………………………

  30. But John said it was OK as long as it was legal!

  31. Terry 31

    “Nine years of economic mismanagement! And that’s about all I’ve got to say. About anything.”

  32. Parnell Boy 32

    Snap: two guys who don’t live in the electorate they represent…

  33. Daveski 33

    If you don’t sort this mess out soon Bill, we might drop below 50%!!!

  34. Rob 34

    Bill: Other highlights of Johns trip were…
    John: I leave for 5 minutes and she closes my damn school…Wait a minute why aren’t I saying that speech.

  35. The Voice of Reason 35

    “… and as you can see, I have the Prime Minister’s full support.”

  36. toad 36

    Hey Bill. I know it’s fat, hard and very very long, and that it has produced 6 kids. But it still stretch to anywhere remotely near Dipton.

  37. RedLogix 37

    Exerting a trance-like concentration, the PM almost had the glass of water hovering perfectly over his Deputy’s collar.

  38. QoT 38

    (Guess what show *I* was obsessed with as a teen:)

    BE: What are you doing, John?
    JK: I’m naming aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall the stars.
    BE: There are no stars, John, that’s the ceiling. Also, it’s day.

  39. key:…”you’re gone..english..!”

    phil(whoar.co.nz)

  40. key:..’not much longer now..

    and i won’t have to put up with you standing next to me..smirking..

    ..and pretending it is really you who is running the show..”

    phil(whoar.co.nz)

  41. outofbed 41

    . Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

  42. Pascal's bookie 42

    “As I said this morning, to a bloke on the number 3 bus from Dipton, you can’t beat Wellington on a good day. Go the ‘caines! Brother can you spare me a dime?”

  43. The Voice of Reason 43

    Bill: “It’s a fair cop, your honour, but the system is to blame.”

    John (thinks): “Hawaii’s only 6 hours from Samoa, wonder if I can fit a holiday into the holiday?

  44. George.com 44

    D.D. Statement “I stand here today to announce that unemployment has risen, the current account deficit is getting worse, wages are stagnant and that meaningful, growth is still several years off. The government books are however 32,000 dollars better off than Treasury forecast…”

    J.K thinks “gees, Obama DID seem genuinely pleased to meet me. That Letterman is such a funny guy”

  45. Tweedle dumb and tweedle dee

  46. Richard 46

    Bill: “I am not a crook”
    John: “Yeah whatever. Won’t get ya on Letterman.”

  47. SPC 47

    This government operates within the law, and we will continue to do so.

    While we make no promises about ethical standards, the way things look is important to our poll ratings, so if there is the perception of corruption we will hand at least some of the money back.

    (On explaining why he had been promoted to Attorney General and Minister of the Public Trust Office).

  48. Blue 49

    “I did not have a pecuniary interest in that trust.”

  49. Adrian 50

    “Who will rid me of this turbulent priest?”

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