Caption contest
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2:30 pm, January 21st, 2011 - 45 comments
Categories: caption contest -
Tags: paula bennett
Minister for Unemployment and Associate Minister for Overseas Holidays Paula Bennett.
She really seems to be enjoying herself and not posing at all in this picture by Herald photographer Brett Phibbs.
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Looking for an interest outside Parliament Paula took up ‘swinging’ but, much like her tenure as Minister of Social Development, it proved to be a dismal failure.
“I don’t know how John does it. I always feel like a bit of a dick at these photo ops, but it’s better than reading that stack of letters on my desk!”
‘A little girl waits…’
No, there is no humour in that…
Pic of a person on a swing, while on a work related trip overseas.
I have this nagging feeling I lost those letters of complaint about that girl …
Paula Bennett finds out first hand just how hard it is to sit in a poor-quality childs swing
“Muzza told me when I first got into politics to always remember that it was a game of swings and roundabouts. I’ve always tried to live up to that, even though it doesn’t seem to be quite true in my experience. There are also trips to America.”
a) having seen off all the other kiddies basher finally has the swing set all to herself
b) does my bum look big in this
c) suspicious chacater sighted at local playground
d) It’s ok paula we had gerry test it out first
With National at an all time high of 55% Paula hunts for any remaining swing voters. Can’t find any. They are all voting National.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall…
Bennett about to get the “Big Push”
It took until mignight to free Paula from the vice-like grip of the child’s swing.
“Thank God for the Jaws of Life” the pinch-buttocked minister was heard to utter before heading home for a bowl of nourishing junket.
NO you can’t play on the swings. They’re MINE.
She’s over there on the swings..just don’t catch the bitches eye, she’ll fuckin…oh shit..oh no…she’s looking this way she’s seen us…fat bitch’ll take our lunch money..yeah I know …IF we’re lucky…she stuck a compass in my arm last time as well…oh shit…just die you mean bitch..just fuck-off and die
hmm. that’s a bit too far.
caption contest.
sorry no lollies kids we gave them to our rich mates
The phrase is “ass in a sling”. Still, it’s on the right track.
Finding herself no longer able to walk unaided as a result of hours spent sitting in aircraft seats, Bellamy’s and on the pig’s back, Bennett tried out one of the newest in the range of ‘vertical-assist’ devices of the sort used in latter years and off-camera by Gerry Brownlee and Parekura Horomia.
Whats the bet , Paula switches to the North Shore electorate, now that Mapp is retiring.
Her current seat is way too marginal, and relying on a list ….. not a good look.
After all , when she was waiting for the 2008 election she worked as McCullys electorate agent. Nice way of getting paid while you campaign full time. Trouble was Albany electorate is the other side of town to Waitakere.
But she is a westie, or so she says …
“You’re right!” the Minister exclaimed, clearly annoyed. “These swings can support beneficiaries! As such, they go against everything the National Party stands for. Tear them down this instant!”
Minister for Social Development and Employment Paula Bennett tries the stirrups for size at the Elephant House maternity wing.
Does my bum look big in this?
“I’m absolutely certain Sonny Bill said to meet him here.”
Unfortunately John Key misunderstood what part of Paula the noose sghould be affixed to.
“Now this is my kind of roman chair!”
Paul Bennet joins a swingers club.
oh… so this is what empathy looks like
Paula Bennett almost raises a finger…
EARLY SIGNS: The young Paula Bennett, (pictured here aged nine), cools her heels after being banished to the playground for stealing food from poor children, and plans her future career.
Landmark in Social Welfare Reform. Paula Bennett looks pensively from the gaol bars as she tries out the new NACT debtors and welfare assistance prison.
A concerned looking MP, Paula Bennet visits local playground to investigate it as suitable accommodation for all those she is about to strike off government benefits.
Sonny Bill,come sit on my ……
Where’s that man slave I asked for in the MSD staff Christmas letter?
XL sized swings are now required at all playgrounds in order to accommodate child obesity
…and on the eighth day Baba Yaga rested from all her labours…
“These photo ops are a pain but it still beats being in opposition” 😉
Ms Bennett and all her mates.
After picking the chocolate biscuits out of the local food bank, bennet saw a kid who looked like they were materially disadvantaged. “The only way they’ll learn is for me to show them how to be an opportunistic bully”. Paula snapped into action, sending the child flying onto the surrounding turf. The child screamed, but Paula just went on chomping away on her mellow puffs. In between grinding the sickly morsels down, Paula spluttered out a tune she had learned at her time as part of the unemployed mothers fascist party “I am Thacture hear me roar, and i am too large to ignore…..”
Im starting the diet and exercise next week .I promise.
Paula Bennet wistfully ponders the coming privatisation of swings in South Auckland.
A photographer writes: This must be a first, the Standard crediting a a ‘borrowed’ photograph what next payments..
Minister of Social Degradation snapped by Herald photographer.
Growing visibly in size by the month – this Monster Minister should be put onto the Unemployment Benefit a.s.a.p., work tested and declared “fit” to do a lot of physical work in a “sweat shop”, so she can do her own health some beneficial favours, sweat out and lose that excessive FAT that built up during the inappropriate kind of employment she presently still clings to.
Mentally unfit for her present type of work, and visible sicker by the day by being “underemployed” in view of her more “fitting” skills, she needs urgent attention and be transferred right away. Let her use and rebuild her remaining muscles and work on an assembly line, a chain at the meat works, filleting fish on a factory ship or similar.
I only wonder whether the Prime Minister decided to put such an incompetent person into her portfolio, in order to make himself look better.
Sacking her will be welcomed by many – EVEN by his political adversaries.
Prospective kiddy pimp??