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Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 6:12 pm, December 20th, 2022 - 35 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour, uncategorized - Tags:

Keep it seemly.

35 comments on “Caption contest ”

  1. Jenny are we there yet 1

    What would you like for Christmas little boy?

  2. BAW 2

    Comrade Santa I presume?

  3. Johnr 3

    Oh please fill my stocking Santa. I've run out of bridges to sell

  4. Robert Guyton 4

    "Beard, red suit, kindness to all – commies like you make me sick!"

  5. Maurice 5

    "Nice Labour Colours there Santa – working for them?"

  6. Mac1 6

    "So, when do they stop believing in you?"

  7. Incognito 7

    Chris: I promise a lot but never deliver.

    Kris: I keep my promises and always deliver.

  8. joe90 8

    With apologies to the lyricist and in best Clitheroe Kid voice;

    Everybody stops and stares at me
    These curly little locks are gone as you can see
    I don't know just who to blame for this catastrophe
    But my one wish on Christmas Eve is as plain as can be

    All I want for Christmas is my curly little locks
    My curly little locks
    See my curly little locks
    Gee, if I could only have my curly little locks
    Then I could wish you, "Merry Christmas"

  9. Incognito 9

    Chris: I used to run an airline.

    Kris: I run a toyline.

  10. Chris "My Christmas wish? …

    Can you make Jacinda resign?"

  11. "Hi Santa, if you ever need a stand in, I'll be free next Christmas."

  12. adam 12

    Yeah, nah I won't be voting for you egg head.

  13. scotty 13

    Misty eyed, Humpty Dumpty bit his lip, then said, "Santa you've got happen to your future – before its happens to you "

  14. PsyclingLeft.Always 14

    Chris : “I'm dreaming….of a white Christmas"

  15. Jenny are we there yet 15

    Hey Santa, how much methane do your hypersonic reindeer emit?

    I bet it's a shit load. Right.

    Have I got the scam for you. It worked very well for me at Air New Zealand.

    I’ll cut you in. We can go halves on the commission.

    It's called 'offsetting'.

    What do you think?

    https://edition.cnn.com/travel/article/airline-carbon-offsetting/index.html

  16. Incognito 16

    Chris: I asked Santa for a tax cut.

    Kris: do you still believe in tax cuts?

  17. bwaghorn 17

    In your best Mariah Carey voice!!

    All I want for Christmas is hair.

  18. Hooch 18

    National launch new policy of under cover security guards for Michael Hill stores during Christmas period.

  19. tsmithfield 19

    Hi Grant, remember to leave something so I can give some presents when I take over.

  20. Red Blooded One 20

    Hey Santa, if I controlled the Bottom Feeders in the North Pole I'd decimate their pay and conditions like I did at the Airline I ran for a short time.

  21. Thinker 21

    (Luxon) : Santa, you don't have any political promises, but people believe in you. What's your secret!?

    2 minutes later…

    (Santa) : Thank goodness he's gone. Hmmm. Wonder what time it is? Damn, where's my watch? I'm sure I put it on my wrist this morning…

  22. Thinker 22

    "Ouch. Stop pulling my beard!!!"

  23. fender 24

    "What do you mean I can't sit on your knee? Just because shit flows from my mouth, it doesn't mean I'm a bottom feeder!"

  24. Incognito 25

    Chris: people hate my guts.

    Kris: Ho, ho, ho! People love my gut.

  25. Incognito 26

    Kris: my brand is stronger than Macca’s

    Chris: errrr …

  26. Macro 27

    Chris "I used to run an airline!"

    Kris " Well I have my own air transport service which is not only carbon neutral but has the capability of visiting every country in the world in less than 24 hours – so beat that sucker."

  27. Stuart Munro 28

    “Yes of course it's very nice to meet you again young Christopher, but now that you're grown up I have to tell you I won't be bringing you any more presents, least of all tax cuts. It's your job to spread that goodwill to all men now, mine is more about personifying the idea.”

  28. SPC 29

    Balding man (who owns seven properties) and who shaves his scalp wants to be given a gift from a man with a fake beard and with delusions of ownership of a home where it is more affordable.

    Tis the season to prepare for an election year.

  29. rod 30

    Hello Santa, did you manage to get that book i wanted for Christmas. What was the name of the book again Mr Luxon.

    Chris, it was called, Charisma lessons for ageing Men.

  30. Incognito 31

    Mythical man meets myth-making man in mystery meeting

  31. Thinker 32

    (Smiling Assassin #2 – Aka Luxon) :

    "As soon as I'm elected, I'm passing urgent legislation. You won't be allowed to visit kids in the bottom 80% and all the money you save will pay for bigger presents for the kids who already have more than they need. Oh, and the elf Union will be scrapped. "

  32. Hey there Santa…….can you please visit all seven of my houses……..i'll share the extra pressies among my mates instead of the promised tax cut……

  33. mikesh 34

    You say "kindness" might work. No, I can't use that. That particular gimmick has alre3ady been taken.

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