web analytics

Caption Contest

Written By: - Date published: 3:01 pm, July 5th, 2011 - 112 comments
Categories: act, caption contest, don brash - Tags:

112 comments on “Caption Contest ”

  1. millhouse 1

    “Braaains…..”

  2. Andy-Roo 2

    I know it looks like I have not shaved, but that is really just the blood of my victims…

  3. bryce 3

    I’m saying this honestly, your children will be safe staying over with me

  4. bryce 4

    Frozen 5000 year old vampire thaws, integrates into society.

  5. Tel 5

    John Key snapped by clever Apple Ap called iReal which reveals the actual politician beneath the public facade

  6. Would you like to see some puppies?

  7. Well, you know?…. He does have honest blue eyes….

  8. Now, where did I leave my white robes and pointy hate, I’ve got crucifix’s to burn.

  9. Janice 9

    I’m your nice Uncle Don and I want you to give me all your money and assets so my poor friends don’t starve. P.S. did it have to be such a big scary photo?

  10. Would you buy a used car from this man?

  11. Colonial Viper 11

    “Those garlic cloves are not going to help you get equal pay young woman, and neither will I”

  12. Colonial Viper 12

    “I don’t think my good friend Rodney Hide is feeling at all disappointed or betrayed”

  13. Zorr 13

    Don Brash as seen by John Key…

  14. g_man 14

    You know something? On Kiwiblog, Farrar runs “Caption Contests” and always says “Comments should be amusing, not nasty”.

    Here, you have comments like “Now, where did I leave my white robes and pointy hate, I’ve got crucifix’s to burn”.

    I’m struggling to understand why people are so nasty here …

    • Colonial Viper 14.1

      And we’re going to get much nastier as the year goes on.

      Even so, we won’t break into your PC and distribute your personal and political information like some other people might.

      • sweetd 14.1.1

        There was no breaking in. The admin left the door unlocked and open encouraging anyone to go have look.

        • Lanthanide 14.1.1.1

          Show us where Labour “encouraged” anyone to download the files.

          • felix 14.1.1.1.1

            I suppose if you’re a crook, everything looks like a crime waiting to happen, eh?

            • Akldnut 14.1.1.1.1.1

              sweetd you fucking idiot – it wasn’t just a look there was theft of personal data which was passed around, just because I leave my front door or open or unlocked doesn’t mean some wanker can come in and help himself to any of my personal information or property then spread it around the community.

              If this was done to a bank the internet theft rules would apply and whoever did it would be facing a cyber crime charge.

              You wouldn’t like it if you personal financial information was plastered all over the internet

    • Blighty 14.2

      another right whiner.

      dry your little eyes, g_man. Brash has had worse things said about him than anything here. And that was just by the voices in his head.

    • lprent 14.3

      It could have something to do with Owera…

      Unlike many of the myth making denizens at the sewer we have clear recollections of history. So we tell it as it is. I’m sad that you consider that reality is nasty – but I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.

      IMHO: No man in NZ public life deserves the white pointy hat characterization as much as Brash does.

    • Carol 14.4

      I’m struggling to understand why people are so nasty here …

      Unlike Blue @3.59pm?

    • Pascal's bookie 14.5

      g_man, you pick a month, I’ll pick a week. You can then choose the open mike thread from here from that week that you think is the nastiest, and I’ll pick the general debate thread from KB. We then play ‘find the wankers’.

      Deal? We’ll have to do it on thurs, coz I’m busy with familial stuff over the next coupla days, but I think it would be a fascinating wee exercise.

    • felix 14.6

      You guys need to get with the kiwiblog reich right school of race relations.

      The new rule is it’s fine to be a racist, but it’s a hanging matter to call someone a racist. Especially if they are a racist, cos it’s like racism. Against racists.

    • Ianupnorth 14.7

      I said that, brash said the Orewa address; mine is on a leftist blog, his was on the 6 O’Clock news. Slight difference – I will continue to be nasty to the affluent until such time as they actually do something constructive to help the poor!
       

    • Reality Bytes 14.8

      So Kiwiblog is supposed to be the fucking template and rules of Internet etiquette now?

      lol whatever mate.

  15. Blue 15

    Helen Clarke goes without make-up, millions terrified. Ginger-headed former MP’s jump for joy.

    • Blighty 15.1

      Blue grasps at out of date misogynist straws, slips

      • Colonial Viper 15.1.1

        🙂

        • dad4justice 15.1.1.1

          “How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.”
          Oscar Wilde had it right eh Don. Suck on another lemon Miss Clark! Checkmate nicky.

          • toad 15.1.1.1.1

            FFS, who invited you back, d4j?

            • dad4justice 15.1.1.1.1.1

              Who the hell are you to ask you old washed up green fungi. Go on a date with big bruv and get back to me – creep!

            • lprent 15.1.1.1.1.2

              He actually currently does not have a ban and hasn’t had one for several years. He tends to obey the warnings enough to avoid bans, and I haven’t had to get moderator irritated with him for quite some time. That means he gets to comment here unless he runs afoul of one of the mods.

              I don’t think he adds that much to the debate. But he doesn’t seem to limit it anymore either. More like ambient noise?

              • Thank you Iprent. Bad luck toady and big bruv, oh my, narking is no good here at the standard where demerit narks are not rewarded for their cowardise.

              • Colonial Viper

                Isn’t ambient noise supposed to be calming and pleasantly sleep inducing?

                • felix

                  No that’s not what it means. Hippie.

                • lprent

                  You obviously don’t live around Ponsonby Road. On Fridays and Saturday the ambient noise is often relationship breakups on our street corner…. While we are trying to sleep.

                  My concept of ambient noise may be different to yours?

      • Blue 15.1.2

        Blighty lacks sense of humour, gets hysterical and asks “life partner” for genitals back.

  16. “Frankly, I’m looking to old for this job”

  17. sally 18

    “Alright – who made the crack about me running in East Coast Bays?”

  18. tc 19

    Hurry up bansky, annoint either clown to run for the ‘pretending to be central wing’ in Epsom……don’t make me come over

  19. Leopold 20

    Unknown to the Empire, Palpantine secretly wears spectacles…
    OK, its nasty but the resemblance…

    • The Voice of Reason 20.1

      It’s not that nasty; Juilia Gillard reminds me of Jar Jar Binks, which is far, far worse, IMHO.

  20. Kaplan 21

    It’s not OK.

  21. Don Brash has suddenly realised that he is being parodied by @DrBrash on twitter and has read some of his tweats.

  22. higherstandard 23

    Geriatric has been superior to current leader of opposition and deputy PM.

    NZ public abandons all hope.

  23. ianmac 24

    What’s that Banksie? You are going to sack me? But but…..

  24. Morrissey 25

    “Eeeeeehhh, the only way for us to catch up to Australia is for New Zealand workers to take massive pay cuts. I am perfectly serious.” *

    * No joke. He actually said this.

  25. toad 26

    Act Leader Don Brash welcomed Alex Fogerty’s decision to leave National to join Act.

    “Like Bob Clarkson, John Banks and I, Alex has seen the need to give some backbone to the Government. Like us, he believes in ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer one law for all,” said Dr Brash.

  26. joe90 27

    Alex, I am your father.

  27. Pascal's bookie 28

    Gentleman Don: “There’s no room for vulgarity in plutocracy son”

  28. rod 29

    Do you think botox would pull in the punters for me Duncan.

  29. William Joyce 30

    The body has been discovered of the dead man whose identity was stolen by David Garrett.

    • Adolf Fiinkensein 30.1

      Politics aside, that really IS funny.

      Many of the other comments wouldn’t make it into a fourth form school mag.

  30. NIGGUH WHUT !!!

  31. William Joyce 32

    Yo, porch monkey, read my speech!

  32. Tangled up in blue 33

    “Well, that’s odd … I’ve just robbed a man of his livelihood, and yet I feel strangely empty. Tell you what, Smithers – have him beaten to a pulp.”

  33. I don’t like you.

  34. felix 36

    You’re not a maaree are you? I don’t see why maarees should have cameras, there’s no mention of photography in the treaty.

    • lprent 36.1

      Yes, all palangi should desist from taking photos of me as well – it isn’t the treaty of waitaiinnnggiiiiiii. Neither is the electronics of the standard. Kiwiblog… Oops – umm – aha – sewers were around!!!!!!

  35. Principessa 37

    Promotional Poster for HP and Deathly Hallows 2.

  36. Jenny 38


    Don’t vote for me.

    I don’t need you to vote for me.

    I have never needed you to vote for me.

    I will never need you to vote for me.

    I will get into parliament even if not one person votes for me.

    I don’t have a mandate.

    I don’t need a mandate.

    I don’t want a mandate.

    I will determine the direction of the next government, without a mandate.

    Pitchforked by rich lobbyists to the head of the National Party, I was unelectable.

    Pitchforked to the head of the the ACT Party by wealthy lobbyists, I am still unelectable.

    It doesn’t matter that I am unelectable, with big money behind the John Banks campaign I will be pitchforked into parliament on his coat tails.

    Beware: I hate and despise you all and when I get into parliament I am determined to demonstrate it.

    You have been warned.

  37. You wanna be a real Mafia Don like Al Capone then you must get shafted by a large nose slippery Key and his fat blob mate Gerry.

  38. Scott 41

    “Release the Hounds!”

  39. Jenny 42

    The triumph of the will.

  40. Bored 43

    Luke Skywalker…I am….

  41. prism 44

    I’ve trimmed my eyebrows and now I’m ready to trim you down to size.

  42. Policy Parrot 45

    He’ll have to swap those blue contact lenses for yellow ones.

  43. Simon Lusk you promised that you could bring ACT’s polling around and all it rose was a paltry 0.2% …

  44. crashcart 47

    UUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMM……. Anyone got some Xlax, I am so full of shit it keeps coming out my mouth.

  45. Treetop 48

    I wear a suit when I go into WINZ for my superannuation cause I’m in a class of my own.

  46. Who would have an affair with him ..let alone marry him.

  47. johnm 50

    The DON says: I’m going to make you an offer you caan’t refuse! I’ll cut you in when we loot the public wealth, white collar stuff: big tax cuts!

    Quote from the Godfather

  48. Jenny 51

    Mu-um-umy….. There is a horrible man staring at me.

  49. Frank Macskasy 52

    “It soon became apparent that the alien lizard-men had not quite perfected their human-skin disguise…”

  50. Bob 53

    Any one for a pie ? I think cameron left a couple of mince and cheese in my fridge ?

  51. ropata 54

    Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.
    I call this one “Blue Steel”.
    My economic theory was blown up in a totally unexpected petrol station accident!

  52. ARE YOU EYBALLIN’ ME ?…NIGGA I WILL FUCK YOU UP !!!

    [lprent: That is getting over the edge. Too noisy apart from anything else. And teasing people for being raised in the 19th century is quite unfair. ]

    • Blue 55.1

      Gee you’re all class aren’t you ‘wog.

      • pollywog 55.1.1

        Gee you’re all class aren’t you ‘wog.

        …i can actually envision The Don saying that to just about anybody not of his ‘race’, but then again i can picture him in a spandex teddy saying ‘spank me Mistress Odgers’ to Cactus Kate too.

  53. randal 56

    now where did I put that spare slice of baloney

  54. kriswgtn 57

    I have just had my botox

  55. mikesh 58

    Is that a camera I see in front of me? Then why can’t I just smile and wave like that other fellow?

  56. DeeDub 59

    ” Where’s The CORNED Beef? “

  57. anipere 60

    ET, Daddy’s waiting

  58. Wolfslair 61

    Damn, why doesn’t all this economic mumbo jumbo I learned in kindergarten work on real people.

  59. M 62

    Archeologists found something older than the pyramids.

  60. Jim Nald 63

    “With its wrinkly pink skin, beady eyes and outsize teeth, the naked mole rat resembles a sabretoothed sausage. But the strange-looking mammal has a secret which is fascinating scientists searching for a cure for diseases of old age, particularly cancer.

    “Despite being only four inches long, the rodent lives for 30 years – seven times longer than a normal rat – and appears not to be afflicted with the world’s number one killer disease.

    “Researchers have now taken a step towards understanding the extraordinary reason for its longevity and resistance ….. ”

    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/europe/news/article.cfm?l_id=7&objectid=10736954

    oops. sorry. mistaken copy and paste job. wrong post.

  61. Craig 64

    “Don!!! Where did you put that beneficiary’s baby?!”
    “URRRRRRRRRRRP!!!!”

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Tokelau Language Week reminds us to stay united and strong
    Staying strong in the face of challenges and being true to our heritage and languages are key to preserving our cultural identity and wellbeing, is the focus of the 2020 Tokelau Language Week. Minister for Pacific Peoples, Aupito William Sio, says this year’s theme, ‘Apoapo tau foe, i nā tāfea ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • NZ announces a third P-3 deployment in support of UN sanctions
    The Government has deployed a Royal New Zealand Air Force P-3K2 Orion (P-3) maritime patrol aircraft to support the implementation of United Nations Security Council (UNSC) resolutions imposing sanctions against North Korea, announced Minister of Foreign Affairs Winston Peters and Minister of Defence Ron Mark. “New Zealand has long supported ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Pacific trade and development agreement a reality
    Pacific regional trade and development agreement PACER Plus will enter into force in 60 days now that the required eight countries have ratified it. Trade and Export Growth Minister David Parker welcomed the announcement that the Cook Islands is the eighth nation to ratify this landmark agreement. “The agreement represents ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Securing a pipeline of teachers
    The Government is changing its approach to teacher recruitment as COVID-19 travel restrictions continue, by boosting a range of initiatives to get more Kiwis into teaching. “When we came into Government, we were faced with a teacher supply crisis,” Education Minister Chris Hipkins said. “Over the past three years, we ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Border exceptions for a small number of international students with visas
    The Government has established a new category that will allow 250 international PhD and postgraduate students to enter New Zealand and continue their studies, in the latest set of border exceptions. “The health, safety and wellbeing of people in New Zealand remains the Government’s top priority. Tight border restrictions remain ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • First COVID-19 vaccine purchase agreement signed
    The Government has signed an agreement to purchase 1.5 million COVID-19 vaccines – enough for 750,000 people – from Pfizer and BioNTech, subject to the vaccine successfully completing all clinical trials and passing regulatory approvals in New Zealand, say Research, Science and Innovation Minister Megan Woods and Health Minister Chris Hipkins. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • International statement – End-to-end encryption and public safety
    We, the undersigned, support strong encryption, which plays a crucial role in protecting personal data, privacy, intellectual property, trade secrets and cyber security.  It also serves a vital purpose in repressive states to protect journalists, human rights defenders and other vulnerable people, as stated in the 2017 resolution of the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Ministry of Defence Biodefence Assessment released
    The Ministry of Defence has today released a Defence Assessment examining Defence’s role across the spectrum of biological hazards and threats facing New Zealand. Biodefence: Preparing for a New Era of Biological Hazards and Threats looks at how the NZDF supports other agencies’ biodefence activities, and considers the context of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New Approaches to Economic Challenges: Confronting Planetary Emergencies: OECD 9 October 2020
    New Approaches to Economic Challenges: Confronting Planetary Emergencies: OECD 9 October 2020 Hon David Parker’s response following Thomas Piketty and Esther Duflo. Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, wherever in the world you might be. I first acknowledge the excellent thought provoking speeches of Thomas Piketty and Esther ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Kaipara Moana restoration takes next step
    A Memorandum of Understanding has been signed today at Waihāua Marae between the Crown, local iwi and councils to protect, restore and enhance the mauri of Kaipara Moana in Northland. Environment Minister David Parker signed the document on behalf of the Crown along with representatives from Ngā Maunga Whakahī, Ngāti ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New Zealand and Uruguay unite on reducing livestock production emissions
    Agriculture Minister Damien O’Connor and Uruguayan Minister of Livestock, Agriculture and Fisheries Carlos María Uriarte have welcomed the launch of a three-year project that will underpin sustainable livestock production in Uruguay, Argentina, and Costa Rica.  The project called ‘Innovation for pasture management’ is led by Uruguay’s National Institute of Agricultural ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • 3100 jobs created through marae upgrades
    Hundreds of marae throughout the country will be upgraded through investments from the Provincial Growth Fund’s refocused post COVID-19 funding to create jobs and put money into the pockets of local tradespeople and businesses, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones and Māori Development Minister Nanaia Mahuta have announced. “A total ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Health volunteers recognised in annual awards
    Health Minister Chris Hipkins has announced 9 teams and 14 individuals are the recipients of this year’s Minister of Health Volunteer Awards.  “The health volunteer awards celebrate and recognise the thousands of dedicated health sector volunteers who give many hours of their time to help other New Zealanders,” Mr Hipkins ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Community COVID-19 Fund supports Pacific recovery
    The Minister for Pacific Peoples, Aupito William Sio says a total of 264 groups and individuals have successfully applied for the Pacific Aotearoa Community COVID-19 Recovery Fund, that will support Pacific communities drive their own COVID-19 recovery strategies, initiatives, and actions. “I am keen to see this Fund support Pacific ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Community benefits from Māori apprenticeships
    Up to 50 Māori apprentices in Wellington will receive paid training to build houses for their local communities, thanks to a $2.75 million investment from the Māori Trades and Training Fund, announced Employment Minister Willie Jackson today. “This funding will enable Ngāti Toa Rangatira Incorporated to provide its Ngā Kaimahi ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Training fund supports Māori jobseekers
    Rapidly growing sectors will benefit from a $990,000 Māori Trades and Training Fund investment which will see Wellington jobseekers supported into work, announced Employment Minister Willie Jackson today. “This funding will enable Sapphire Consultants Ltd. to help up to 45 Māori jobseekers into paid training initiatives over two years through ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Ruakura Inland Port development vital infrastructure for Waikato
    The Government is investing $40 million to develop an inland port at Ruakura which will become a freight super-hub and a future business, research and residential development for the Waikato, Urban Development and Transport Minister Phil Twyford, and Māori Development Minister Nanaia Mahuta announced today. The funding has been has ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Appointments made to Defence Expert Review Group
    Defence Minister Ron Mark announced today the establishment of an Expert Review Group to review a number of aspects of the New Zealand Defence Force’s (NZDF) structure, information management and record-keeping processes.  The Expert Review Group’s work arises out of the first recommendation from the Report of the Government’s Inquiry ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • No active community cases of COVID-19
    There are no active community cases of COVID-19 remaining in the country after the last people from the recent outbreak have recovered from the virus, Health Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “This is a big milestone. New Zealanders have once again through their collective actions squashed the virus. The systems ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Clean energy upgrade for more public buildings
    More public buildings will be supported by the Government to upgrade to run on clean energy, the Minister for Climate Change James Shaw announced today. Minister Shaw announced that Lincoln and Auckland universities will receive support through the Clean-Powered Public Service Fund to replace fossil fuel boilers. Southern, Taranaki, and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago