web analytics

Caption Contest

Written By: - Date published: 11:45 am, May 14th, 2010 - 85 comments
Categories: caption contest, colonialism - Tags: , ,

85 comments on “Caption Contest ”

  1. sub-prime minister 1

    take me to your larder

  2. toad 2

    Don’t you guys have a sense of humour? It went down well with Ngāti Porou.

  3. Tigger 3

    Your grandson? I assumed it was the main course.

  4. willaspish 4

    “I love Maori but I couldn’t eat a whole one!”

  5. greenfly 5

    *Thinks
    What was that greeting I was taught –
    Kia-ora? or Kai-tangata?

  6. greenfly 6

    No thanks Tame. I’m full!
    Couldn’t eat another one!

  7. greenfly 7

    E Koro! Why’s that tauiwi sniffing me?

  8. greenfly 8

    This ones kanga-fed John.
    He’s a succulent one!
    Trade you for your tama!

  9. greenfly 9

    While meeting with Tameiti, the Prime Minister hid as much exposed flesh as possible.

  10. MikeE 10

    “Don’t worry Tama, we here at the VRWC have known for a long time that baby eating enhances your mana”

  11. george 11

    Don’t eat me bro!

  12. greenfly 13

    Ko te tama nei?
    Ko toku mokopuna ia.
    Ko ‘Momona me reka’ tana ingoa!

    • lprent 13.1

      Ummm, I need to look to find some Maori translator code. Can you restate that in c++?

      • greenfly 13.1.1

        aroha mai 1prent

        This boy?
        He’s my grandchild.
        His name is ‘Fat and sweet’.

        Ko te tama nei?
        Ko toku mokopuna ia.
        Ko ‘Momona me reka’ tana ingoa!

  13. BLiP 14

    “Hi John, good to see you with your hands in your own pockets for a change”

  14. Dinner. Yours or mine?

  15. Look! I got takeout!

  16. greenfly 17

    fyi – Tāme Iti

  17. sally 18

    “So, you’ll get me a job in Jackie Blue’s office, and all I have to do is let you take my mokopuna to Waitangi?”

  18. greenfly 19

    He’ll be just fine Tame.
    I’ll have him chur-broiled.

  19. Papa Aroha 20

    “Well Tame, I see you’ve certainly grabbed life with both hands.”

  20. Papa Aroha 21

    “I hate to disappoint you Tame, but I’m sure your next generation will find our party even harder to digest than you do.”

  21. Bored 22

    What did you say Tama? Hongi or hangi?

  22. uke 23

    Tame: “Keep smiling John – and hope like hell the boys scored enough real pork for the hangi.”

  23. vto 24

    “Dont fret Tame, we gonna legislate to allow consumption of homosapien again very soon. Great export potential too”

  24. Pascal's bookie 25

    “I understand you got something to say?”

    “heheh arr, not really umm, ha. hmmm.”

  25. Papa Aroha 26

    “You’re looking a bit tense John – what’s eating you?’

  26. george 27

    But some of my best friends are maori.

  27. The Voice of Reason 28

    Hey John, when the bro’s told you the East Coast had the best pot, they weren’t talking about cooking, eh..

  28. burt 29

    No that’s not how it works, you can’t swap your first born for Te Urewera National Park.

  29. nottamaiti 30

    John K – Do you read the Standard.

    Tama Iti – No it’s shit.

  30. E Koro – Didn’t you say we shouldn’t play with our kai?

  31. burt 32

    I bet you wouldn’t dress the kid in a NZ flag and tell him to lie on the ground outside the marae !

    • felix 32.1

      Where’d that come from burt? You’re really letting it all out lately, aintcha?

  32. greenfly 33

    Jesus! That’s not a piece of spinach stuck between Tame’s teeth!

  33. greenfly 34

    That burp of Tame’s!
    Reminds me of the way my granny used to smell…
    hang on!

  34. Bill 35

    Yeah, yeah, nah Tame. Traders Oysters would be off the menu. Never did have any balls. What you see standing before you is just a useless shirted prick prone to vacuous ejaculations…

  35. Papa Aroha 36

    “Well Tame, once I got my foot back out of my mouth I realised that you couldn’t possibly be interested in a man of such poor taste.”

  36. Papa Aroha 37

    “How about it John. You give back our land and I’ll hand over your car keys and your nephew.”

  37. Papa Aroha 38

    “You’re a funny guy, John. I like you. That’s why I’m going to kill you last.” – Arnold Schwarzenneger – Commando (1985)

  38. burt 39

    I keep my end of the deal John, I’ve brought the baby guling now give us back Te Urewera’s.

  39. Richard 40

    Nice camo’s bro. But did you see me in that flak jacket?

  40. Richard 41

    If you eat me for breakfast Tame, I’ll be gone by lunchtime. Let me go and I’ll send you Brownlee and Joyce. They should see you through the winter.

  41. Craig Glen Eden 42

    John: I can do it I know I can, don’t make me laugh Tama cos when I laugh I smile when I smile I wave and If I keep my hands in my pockets I will beat this bloody addiction foreshore. Oh shit did I say foreshore?

    You brown fellas are tricky aye man?

  42. i almost fell off my chair laughing with this image 😆
    can’t think of a caption that could be any funnier than the image itself
    oh the rich ironies of politics

  43. burt 44

    Come on Tama, remember what happened to the bloody Moa when you ate all the ones that were easy to catch !

  44. mach1 45

    Key: “I’m relaxed about it”, Tama: “what the fuck you relaxed about whiteboi”.

  45. Irascible 46

    Hey Tama, I came here to be culturally sensitive. I left the nightshirts and tea-towels in the ME. Can’t you offer me something more than a baby hangi?

  46. billo 47

    Nah! I never believed that stuff in the police affidavit. Those chaps were given to extravagant rhetoric! Keith Locke gave them all good reference.

  47. Papa Aroha 48

    After confiscating your fertile land, destroying your crops and homes, chasing off your stock and charging you exorbitantly for surveying your land without your permission we’ll make jokes about you and maintain the status quo. What’s your problem?

  48. Mac1 49

    “Shirkers unite! You have nothing to lose but your brains!”

  49. prism 50

    John K – You know Tame as Minister of Tourism I could help you with development of tourism on your land, a PPP arrangement – you know a Public-Private Partnership.
    Tame I – No good John. The three P’s we’re interested in are pork, puha and Papa-tu-anuku (Mother Earth).

  50. ak 51

    The innate a priori capacity of infants to divine sublimated terror and incipient catastrophe is encapsulated for posterity in the now-classic “Tama and the Smiling Snake” snapped shortly before the watershed “Tuhoegate” events of 2010 by an anonymous blogger. (re-produced with kind permission from “Our Humble Parts”: Prentice and R0bspierrre, MartyPress 2015, and the Clark Foundation)

  51. Willie Maley 52

    Smells like fish, tastes like chicken, John Key you’re a c***

  52. Papa Aroha 53

    Celebrity Master Chef NZ judge John Key emerges apparently unscathed after a grilling by failed Tuhoe finalist Tame Iti.

  53. Papa Aroha 54

    Emerging from ‘in tents’ negotiations neither man proved willing to reveal his hand.

  54. burt 55

    Politically I really need to put a cycle way through it, if you agree to that it’s yours.

  55. George.com 56

    ‘Look Tame, a smile and a wave is not agreement that something is doable.’

  56. George.com 57

    Yes, I did make the joke, but I smiled and waved when I said it so everything is ok.

  57. philu 58

    key:..

    will a smile and a wave do..?

  58. philu 59

    key:..

    um..!..no thanks..i don’t think i can make it over for dinner…

  59. philu 60

    iti:..

    wanna belly-bounce…?

  60. philu 61

    key:..

    i guess a moko wouldn’t be entirely out of the question…

    ..it’s do-able…

    phil(whoar.co.nz)

  61. philu 62

    key:..

    didja hear that joke i cracked last night..?

    phil(whoar.co.nz)

  62. philu 63

    it:..

    that’s not funny bro..!

    phil(whoar.co.nz)

  63. philu 64

    key:..

    yes..bronny cuts my hair…

    phil(whoar.co.nz)

  64. philu 65

    key:..

    do i wanna go pig-hunting with you..?

    phil(whoar.co.nz)

  65. philu 66

    key:..

    we have both got big noses..haven’t we…?

    phil(whoar.co.nz)

  66. philu 67

    iti:..

    would you mind going vegetarian for a few months..?

    it improves the taste…

    phil(whoar.co.nz)

  67. philu 68

    iti:

    i’m in my cammo…

    ..wanna come into the tent for some war-talk…?

    phil(whoar.co.nz)

  68. philu 69

    iti:

    i cd give you a mccrystal…

    c’mon..!

    phil(whoar.co.nz)

  69. philu 70

    iti:..

    d’ya know that all the bro’s are calling you one-term-john..?

    phil(whoar.co.nz)

  70. George.com 71

    What I actually said Tame was,

    which is Tuhoe, and I did them like a dinner

  71. greenfly 72

    Tame Eaty.

  72. greenfly 73

    Did anyone else notice from the picture, that Tame Iti has John Key’s life in his hands?

  73. Steve 74

    Iti: “When the camera stop I boot your arse off my Marae”
    Key: “In your dreams pokokohua”

  74. philu 75

    iti:..

    remember that night you stayed down here…a few years back..?

    ..and that wahine..?

    ..say hello to the result…

    phil(whoar.co.nz)

Links to post

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Foreign Minister Nanaia Mahuta to attend NATO meeting
    Minister of Foreign Affairs, Nanaia Mahuta, departs for Europe today, where she will attend a session of the NATO Foreign Ministers Meeting in Brussels and make a short bilateral visit to Sweden.  “NATO is a long-standing and likeminded partner for Aotearoa New Zealand. It is valuable to join a session of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    8 hours ago
  • Secure all-of-government facility to be built at Whenuapai
    A secure facility that will house protected information for a broad range of government agencies is being constructed at RNZAF Base Auckland (Whenuapai), Public Service, Defence and GCSB Minister Andrew Little says. The facility will consolidate and expand the government’s current secure storage capacity and capability for at least another ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    14 hours ago
  • Flu vaccine to protect Kiwis this winter
    From today, 1.8 million flu vaccines are available to help protect New Zealanders from winter illness, Minister of Health Ayesha Verrall has announced. “Vaccination against flu is safe and will be a first line of defence against severe illness this winter,” Dr Verrall said. “We can all play a part ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Congratulations to Professor Rangi Mātāmua – New Zealander of the Year
    Associate Minister of Arts, Culture and Heritage Willow-Jean Prime has congratulated Professor Rangi Mātāmua (Ngāi Tūhoe) who was last night named the prestigious Te Pou Whakarae o Aotearoa New Zealander of the Year. Professor Mātāmua, who is the government's Chief Adviser Mātauranga Matariki, was the winner of the New Zealander ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Further sanctions on Russian and Belarusian political and military figures
    The Minister of Foreign Affairs Nanaia Mahuta has announced further sanctions on political and military figures from Russia and Belarus as part of the ongoing response to the war in Ukraine. The International Criminal Court (ICC) has issued an arrest warrant for Russia’s Commissioner for Children’s Rights Maria Alekseevna Lvova-Belova ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Ambitious new housing development for Whangārei
    A new public housing development planned for Whangārei will provide 95 warm and dry, modern homes for people in need, Housing Minister Megan Woods says. The Kauika Road development will replace a motel complex in the Avenues with 89 three-level walk up apartments, alongside six homes. “Whangārei has a rapidly ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • CPTPP bolstered by decision on UK accession
    New Zealand welcomes the substantial conclusion of negotiations on the United Kingdom’s accession to the Comprehensive and Progressive Agreement for Trans-Pacific Partnership (CPTPP), Trade and Export Growth Minister Damien O’Connor announced today. “Continuing to grow our export returns is a priority for the Government and part of our plan to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Ngā Iwi o Taranaki and the Crown initial Taranaki Maunga collective redress deed (rua reo)
    Ngā Iwi o Taranaki and the Crown initial Taranaki Maunga collective redress deed Ngā Iwi o Taranaki and the Crown have today initialled the Taranaki Maunga Collective Redress Deed, named Te Ruruku Pūtakerongo, Minister for Treaty of Waitangi Negotiations Andrew Little says. “I am pleased to be here for this ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Dates announced for 2023 Pacific language weeks
    Minister for Pacific Peoples Barbara Edmonds has announced the 2023 Pacific Language week series, highlighting the need to revitalise and sustain languages for future generations. “Pacific languages are a cornerstone of our health, wellbeing and identity as Pacific peoples. When our languages are spoken, heard and celebrated, our communities thrive,” ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Over a quarter of New Zealanders to get cost of living relief from tomorrow
    880,000 pensioners to get a boost to Super, including 5000 veterans 52,000 students to see a bump in allowance or loan living costs Approximately 223,000 workers to receive a wage rise as a result of the minimum wage increasing to $22.70 8,000 community nurses to receive pay increase of up ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Thousands of community nurses getting April pay boost
    Over 8000 community nurses will start receiving well-deserved pay rises of up to 15 percent over the next month as a Government initiative worth $200 million a year kicks in, says Minister of Health Dr Ayesha Verrall. “The Government is committed to ensuring nurses are paid fairly and will receive ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Speech to Taranaki Chamber of Commerce and TOI Foundation breakfast
    Tākiri mai ana te ata Ki runga o ngākau mārohirohi Kōrihi ana te manu kaupapa Ka ao, ka ao, ka awatea Tihei mauri ora Let the dawn break On the hearts and minds of those who stand resolute As the bird of action sings, it welcomes the dawn of a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Government takes next step to lift artists’ incomes
    The Government is introducing a scheme which will lift incomes for artists, support them beyond the current spike in cost of living and ensure they are properly recognised for their contribution to New Zealand’s economy and culture.    “In line with New Zealand’s Free Trade Agreement with the UK, last ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • NZ stands with Vanuatu on climate at UN
    New Zealand is welcoming a decision by the United Nations General Assembly to ask the International Court of Justice to consider countries’ international legal obligations on climate change. The United Nations has voted unanimously to adopt a resolution led by Vanuatu to ask the ICJ for an advisory opinion on ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • More Police deployed to the frontline
    More Police officers are being deployed to the frontline with the graduation of 59 new constables from the Royal New Zealand Police College today. “The graduation for recruit wing 364 was my first since becoming Police Minister last week,” Ginny Andersen said. “It was a real honour. I want to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Aotearoa New Zealand committed to an enduring partnership with Vanuatu
    Foreign Minister Nanaia Mahuta met with Vanuatu Foreign Minister Jotham Napat in Port Vila, today, signing a new Statement of Partnership — Aotearoa New Zealand’s first with Vanuatu. “The Mauri Statement of Partnership is a joint expression of the values, priorities and principles that will guide the Aotearoa New Zealand–Vanuatu relationship into ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Government delivers levy change to support Fire and Emergency
    The Government has passed new legislation amending the Fire and Emergency New Zealand (FENZ) levy regime, ensuring the best balance between a fair and cost effective funding model. The Fire and Emergency New Zealand (Levy) Amendment Bill makes changes to the existing law to: charge the levy on contracts of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Next steps for New Zealand’s organic regulations
    The Government has passed the Organic Products and Production Bill through its third reading today in Parliament helping New Zealand’s organic sector to grow and lift export revenue. “The Organic Products and Production Bill will introduce robust and practical regulation to give businesses the certainty they need to continue to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Govt helps to protect New Zealanders digital identities
    The Digital Identity Services Trust Framework Bill, which will make it easier for New Zealanders to safely prove who they are digitally has passed its third and final reading today. “We know New Zealanders want control over their identity information and how it’s used by the companies and services they ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Cyclone Taskforce focused on locally-led recovery
    The full Cyclone Gabrielle Recovery Taskforce has met formally for the first time as work continues to help the regions recover and rebuild from Cyclone Gabrielle. The Taskforce, which includes representatives from business, local government, iwi and unions, covers all regions affected by the January and February floods and cyclone. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Law changed to protect subcontractors
    Changes have been made to legislation to give subcontractors the confidence they will be paid the retention money they are owed should the head contractor’s business fail, Minister for Building and Construction Megan Woods announced today. “These changes passed in the Construction Contracts (Retention Money) Amendment Act safeguard subcontractors who ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • New congestion busting harbour crossing options unveiled
    Transport Minister Michael Wood has unveiled five scenarios for one of the most significant city-shaping projects for Tāmaki Makaurau in coming decades, the additional Waitematā Harbour crossing. “Aucklanders and businesses have made it clear that the biggest barriers to the success of Auckland is persistent congestion and after years of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • New law enhances safety and security in the aviation sector
    The Government has passed new legislation that ensures New Zealand’s civil aviation rules are fit for purpose in the 21st century, Associate Transport Minister Kiri Allan says. The Civil Aviation Bill repeals and replaces the Civil Aviation Act 1990 and the Airport Authorities Act 1966 with a single modern law ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Coroners Amendment Bill passes third reading
    A Bill aimed at helping to reduce delays in the coronial jurisdiction passed its third reading today. The Coroners Amendment Bill, amongst other things, will establish new coronial positions, known as Associate Coroners, who will be able to perform most of the functions, powers, and duties of Coroners. The new ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Review into Stuart Nash’s communications with donors
    The Prime Minister has asked the Cabinet Secretary to conduct a review into communications between Stuart Nash and his donors. The review will take place over the next two months.  The review will look at whether there have been any other breaches of cabinet collective responsibility or confidentiality, or whether ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • 600 more workers to support recovery
    The new Recovery Visa to help bring in additional migrant workers to support cyclone and flooding recovery has attracted over 600 successful applicants within its first month. “The Government is moving quickly to support businesses bring in the workers needed to recover from Cyclone Gabrielle and the Auckland floods,” Michael ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Bills to vet school boards, contractors pass first reading
    Bills to ensure non-teaching employees and contractors at schools, and unlicensed childcare services like mall crèches are vetted by police, and provide safeguards for school board appointments have passed their first reading today. The Education and Training Amendment Bill (No. 3) and the Regulatory Systems (Education) Amendment Bill have now ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Bill recognises unique role and contribution of Wānanga and Kura Kaupapa Māori
    Wānanga will gain increased flexibility and autonomy that recognises the unique role they fill in the tertiary education sector, Associate Minister of Education Kelvin Davis has announced. The Education and Training Amendment Bill (No.3), that had its first reading today, proposes a new Wānanga enabling framework for the three current ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Foreign Affairs Minister talks to the Vanuatu Government on Pacific issues
    Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta will travel to Vanuatu today, announcing that Aotearoa New Zealand will provide further relief and recovery assistance there, following the recent destruction caused by Cyclones Judy and Kevin. While in Vanuatu, Minister Mahuta will meet with Vanuatu Acting Prime Minister Sato Kilman, Foreign Minister Jotham ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Major investment to support the safety of frontline Police and communities
    The Government is backing Police and making communities safer with the roll-out of state-of-the-art tools and training to frontline staff, Police Minister Ginny Andersen said today. “Frontline staff face high-risk situations daily as they increasingly respond to sophisticated organised crime, gang-violence and the availability of illegal firearms,” Ginny Andersen said.  ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Further laws passed to keep communities safe from gang offending
    The Government has provided Police with more tools to crack down on gang offending with the passing of new legislation today which will further improve public safety, Justice Minister Kiri Allan says. The Criminal Activity Intervention Legislation Bill amends existing law to: create new targeted warrant and additional search powers ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Standard kerbside recycling part of new era for waste system
    The Government today announced far-reaching changes to the way we make, use, recycle and dispose of waste, ushering in a new era for New Zealand’s waste system. The changes will ensure that where waste is recycled, for instance by households at the kerbside, it is less likely to be contaminated ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • New laws will crack down on gang profits and criminal assets
    New legislation passed by the Government today will make it harder for gangs and their leaders to benefit financially from crime that causes considerable harm in our communities, Minister of Justice Kiri Allan says. Since the Criminal Proceeds (Recovery) Act 2009 came into effect police have been highly successful in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Stuart Nash dismissed from Cabinet
    This evening I have advised the Governor-General to dismiss Stuart Nash from all his ministerial portfolios. Late this afternoon I was made aware by a news outlet of an email Stuart Nash sent in March 2020 to two contacts regarding a commercial rent relief package that Cabinet had considered. In ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Tax incentive to boost housing passes third reading
    Legislation to enable more build-to-rent developments has passed its third reading in Parliament, so this type of rental will be able to claim interest deductibility in perpetuity where it meets the requirements. Housing Minister Dr Megan Woods, says the changes will help unlock the potential of the build-to-rent sector and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Law levels playing field for low-emissions commuting
    A law passed by Parliament today exempts employers from paying fringe benefit tax on certain low emission commuting options they provide or subsidise for their staff.  “Many employers already subsidise the commuting costs of their staff, for instance by providing car parks,” Environment Minister David Parker said.  “This move supports ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • 40 years of Closer Economic Relations with Australia
    Today marks the 40th anniversary of Closer Economic Relations (CER), our gold standard free trade agreement between New Zealand and Australia. “CER was a world-leading agreement in 1983, is still world-renowned today and is emblematic of both our countries’ commitment to free trade. The WTO has called it the world’s ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Amendments to mass arrivals legislation
    The Government is making procedural changes to the Immigration Act to ensure that 2013 amendments operate as Parliament intended.   The Government is also introducing a new community management approach for asylum seekers. “While it’s unlikely we’ll experience a mass arrival due to our remote positioning, there is no doubt New ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Progress on public service pay adjustment
    The Government welcomes progress on public sector pay adjustment (PSPA) agreements, and the release of the updated public service pay guidance by the Public Service Commission today, Minister for the Public Service Andrew Little says. “More than a dozen collective agreements are now settled in the public service, Crown Agents, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Further legislation introduced to support cyclone recovery
    The Government has introduced the Severe Weather Emergency Recovery Legislation Bill to further support the recovery and rebuild from the recent severe weather events in the North Island. “We know from our experiences following the Canterbury and Kaikōura earthquakes that it will take some time before we completely understand the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago

Page generated in The Standard by Wordpress at 2023-04-02T08:44:50+00:00