Caption Contest
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11:45 am, May 14th, 2010 - 85 comments
Categories: caption contest, colonialism -
Tags: john key, tama iti, tuhoe
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- Release: Labour supports urgent changes to emergency management systemLabour welcomes the release of the report into the North Island weather events and looks forward to working with the Government to ensure that New Zealand is as prepared as it can be for the next natural disaster. ...4 days ago
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- Release: Government cuts unbelievably target child exploitation, violent extremism, ports and airpor...Some of our country’s most important work, stopping the sexual exploitation of children and violent extremism could go along with staff on the frontline at ports and airports. ...5 days ago
- Three strikes has failed before and will fail againResurrecting the archaic three-strikes legislation is an unwelcome return to a failed American-style approach to justice. ...5 days ago
- Release: Environmental protection vital, not ‘onerous’The Government’s Fast Track Approvals Bill will give projects such as new coal mines a ‘get out of jail free’ card to wreak havoc on the environment, Labour Leader Chris Hipkins said today. ...5 days ago
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- Release: Govt cuts doctors and nurses in hiring freezeCuts to frontline hospital staff are not only a broken election promise, it shows the reckless tax cuts have well and truly hit the frontline of the health system, says Labour Health spokesperson Ayesha Verrall. ...1 week ago
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- Release: Progress on climate will be undone by GovtNew Zealand’s good work at reducing climate emissions for three years in a row will be undone by the National government’s lack of ambition and scrapping programmes that were making a difference, Labour Party climate spokesperson Megan Woods said today. ...1 week ago
- Release: Dark day for Kiwi kids as a third of Govt cuts affect themNews that 1000 jobs at the Ministry of Education and Oranga Tamariki could go is devastating for future generations of New Zealanders. ...1 week ago
- Release: Alarm as Government signals further blow to school lunchesMore essential jobs could be on the chopping block, this time Ministry of Education staff on the school lunches team are set to find out whether they're in line to lose their jobs. ...1 week ago
- Oranga Tamariki cuts commit tamariki to state abuseTe Pāti Māori is disgusted at the confirmation that hundreds are set to lose their jobs at Oranga Tamariki, and the disestablishment of the Treaty Response Unit. “This act of absolute carelessness and out of touch decision making is committing tamariki to state abuse.” Said Te Pāti Māori Oranga Tamariki ...1 week ago
- Release: Quick, submit – stop Govt’s dodgy approvals billThe Government is trying to bring in a law that will allow Ministers to cut corners and kill off native species, Labour environment spokesperson Rachel Brooking said. ...2 weeks ago
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- Greens look to fast-track submissions on harmful lawThe Green Party has today launched a step-by-step guide to help New Zealanders make their voice heard on the Government’s democracy dodging and anti-environment fast track legislation. ...2 weeks ago
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- Release: Melissa Lee missing in action on mediaThe action Melissa Lee promised to protect democracy and the media sector is missing, Media and Communications spokesperson Willie Jackson said. ...2 weeks ago
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- Release: Don’t cut our lunches – clear message sent to GovernmentTens of thousands of people are demanding the Government commits to fully funding free and healthy school lunches. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Govt makes U-turn on Suicide Prevention OfficeLabour welcomes the Government’s U-turn on the closure of the Suicide Prevention Office, says Labour Mental Health spokesperson Ingrid Leary. ...3 weeks ago
- CCC issues warning over further climate delayToday’s advice from the Climate Change Commission paints a sobering reality of the challenge we face in combating climate change, especially in light of recent Government policy announcements. ...3 weeks ago
- Luxon targets lame and lousy example of leadershipIf talk is cheap, Chris Luxon’s “targets” are bankrupt. ...3 weeks ago
- Luxon targets are lousy example of leadershipIf talk is cheap, Chris Luxon’s “targets” are bankrupt. ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Commitment to disability communities missing from Govt prioritiesMinister for Disability Issues Penny Simmonds appears to have delayed a report back to Cabinet on the progress New Zealand is making against international obligations for disabled New Zealanders. ...3 weeks ago
- Taking action on Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder
Hundreds of New Zealand families affected by Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) will benefit from a new Government focus on prevention and treatment, says Health Minister Dr Shane Reti. “We know FASD is a leading cause of preventable intellectual and neurodevelopmental disability in New Zealand,” Dr Reti says. “Every day, ...6 hours ago - New sports complex opens in KaikoheRegional Development Minister Shane Jones today attended the official opening of Kaikohe’s new $14.7 million sports complex. “The completion of the Kaikohe Multi Sports Complex is a fantastic achievement for the Far North,” Mr Jones says. “This facility not only fulfils a long-held dream for local athletes, but also creates ...8 hours ago
- Diplomacy needed more than everForeign Minister Winston Peters’ engagements in Türkiye this week underlined the importance of diplomacy to meet growing global challenges. “Returning to the Gallipoli Peninsula to represent New Zealand at Anzac commemorations was a sombre reminder of the critical importance of diplomacy for de-escalating conflicts and easing tensions,” Mr Peters ...11 hours ago
- Anzac Commemorative Address, Buttes New British Cemetery BelgiumAmbassador Millar, Burgemeester, Vandepitte, Excellencies, military representatives, distinguished guests, ladies and gentlemen – good morning and welcome to this sacred Anzac Day dawn service. It is an honour to be here on behalf of the Government and people of New Zealand at Buttes New British Cemetery, Polygon Wood – a deeply ...1 day ago
- Anzac Commemorative Address – NZ National Service, Chunuk BairDistinguished guests - It is an honour to return once again to this site which, as the resting place for so many of our war-dead, has become a sacred place for generations of New Zealanders. Our presence here and at the other special spaces of Gallipoli is made ...2 days ago
- Anzac Commemorative Address – Dawn Service, Gallipoli, TürkiyeMai ia tawhiti pamamao, te moana nui a Kiwa, kua tae whakaiti mai matou, ki to koutou papa whenua. No koutou te tapuwae, no matou te tapuwae, kua honoa pumautia. Ko nga toa kua hinga nei, o te Waipounamu, o te Ika a Maui, he okioki tahi me o ...2 days ago
- PM announces changes to portfoliosPaul Goldsmith will take on responsibility for the Media and Communications portfolio, while Louise Upston will pick up the Disability Issues portfolio, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon announced today. “Our Government is relentlessly focused on getting New Zealand back on track. As issues change in prominence, I plan to adjust Ministerial ...3 days ago
- New catch limits for unique fishery areasRecreational catch limits will be reduced in areas of Fiordland and the Chatham Islands to help keep those fisheries healthy and sustainable, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. The lower recreational daily catch limits for a range of finfish and shellfish species caught in the Fiordland Marine Area and ...3 days ago
- Minister welcomes hydrogen milestoneEnergy Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed an important milestone in New Zealand’s hydrogen future, with the opening of the country’s first network of hydrogen refuelling stations in Wiri. “I want to congratulate the team at Hiringa Energy and its partners K one W one (K1W1), Mitsui & Co New Zealand ...4 days ago
- Urgent changes to system through first RMA Amendment BillThe coalition Government is delivering on its commitment to improve resource management laws and give greater certainty to consent applicants, with a Bill to amend the Resource Management Act (RMA) expected to be introduced to Parliament next month. RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop has today outlined the first RMA Amendment ...4 days ago
- Overseas decommissioning models consideredOverseas models for regulating the oil and gas sector, including their decommissioning regimes, are being carefully scrutinised as a potential template for New Zealand’s own sector, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. The Coalition Government is focused on rebuilding investor confidence in New Zealand’s energy sector as it looks to strengthen ...4 days ago
- Release of North Island Severe Weather Event InquiryEmergency Management and Recovery Minister Mark Mitchell has today released the Report of the Government Inquiry into the response to the North Island Severe Weather Events. “The report shows that New Zealand’s emergency management system is not fit-for-purpose and there are some significant gaps we need to address,” Mr Mitchell ...4 days ago
- Justice Minister to attend Human Rights CouncilJustice Minister Paul Goldsmith is today travelling to Europe where he’ll update the United Nations Human Rights Council on the Government’s work to restore law and order. “Attending the Universal Periodic Review in Geneva provides us with an opportunity to present New Zealand’s human rights progress, priorities, and challenges, while ...5 days ago
- Patterson reopens world’s largest wool scouring facilityAssociate Agriculture Minister, Mark Patterson, formally reopened the world’s largest wool processing facility today in Awatoto, Napier, following a $50 million rebuild and refurbishment project. “The reopening of this facility will significantly lift the economic opportunities available to New Zealand’s wool sector, which already accounts for 20 per cent of ...5 days ago
- Speech to the Southland Otago Regional Engineering Collective Summit, 18 April 2024Hon Andrew Bayly, Minister for Small Business and Manufacturing At the Southland Otago Regional Engineering Collective (SOREC) Summit, 18 April, Dunedin Ngā mihi nui, Ko Andrew Bayly aho, Ko Whanganui aho Good Afternoon and thank you for inviting me to open your summit today. I am delighted ...5 days ago
- Government to introduce revised Three Strikes lawThe Government is delivering on its commitment to bring back the Three Strikes legislation, Associate Justice Minister Nicole McKee announced today. “Our Government is committed to restoring law and order and enforcing appropriate consequences on criminals. We are making it clear that repeat serious violent or sexual offending is not ...5 days ago
- New diplomatic appointmentsForeign Minister Winston Peters has today announced four new diplomatic appointments for New Zealand’s overseas missions. “Our diplomats have a vital role in maintaining and protecting New Zealand’s interests around the world,” Mr Peters says. “I am pleased to announce the appointment of these senior diplomats from the ...5 days ago
- Humanitarian support for Ethiopia and SomaliaNew Zealand is contributing NZ$7 million to support communities affected by severe food insecurity and other urgent humanitarian needs in Ethiopia and Somalia, Foreign Minister Rt Hon Winston Peters announced today. “Over 21 million people are in need of humanitarian assistance across Ethiopia, with a further 6.9 million people ...5 days ago
- Arts Minister congratulates Mataaho CollectiveMinister for Arts, Culture and Heritage Paul Goldsmith is congratulating Mataaho Collective for winning the Golden Lion for best participant in the main exhibition at the Venice Biennale. "Congratulations to the Mataaho Collective for winning one of the world's most prestigious art prizes at the Venice Biennale. “It is good ...6 days ago
- Supporting better financial outcomes for KiwisThe Government is reforming financial services to improve access to home loans and other lending, and strengthen customer protections, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly and Housing Minister Chris Bishop announced today. “Our coalition Government is committed to rebuilding the economy and making life simpler by cutting red tape. We are ...6 days ago
- Trade relationship with China remains strong“China remains a strong commercial opportunity for Kiwi exporters as Chinese businesses and consumers continue to value our high-quality safe produce,” Trade and Agriculture Minister Todd McClay says. Mr McClay has returned to New Zealand following visits to Beijing, Harbin and Shanghai where he met ministers, governors and mayors and engaged in trade and agricultural events with the New ...6 days ago
- PM’s South East Asia mission does the businessPrime Minister Christopher Luxon has completed a successful trip to Singapore, Thailand and the Philippines, deepening relationships and capitalising on opportunities. Mr Luxon was accompanied by a business delegation and says the choice of countries represents the priority the New Zealand Government places on South East Asia, and our relationships in ...1 week ago
- $41m to support clean energy in South East AsiaNew Zealand is demonstrating its commitment to reducing global greenhouse emissions, and supporting clean energy transition in South East Asia, through a contribution of NZ$41 million (US$25 million) in climate finance to the Asian Development Bank (ADB)-led Energy Transition Mechanism (ETM). Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and Climate Change Minister Simon Watts announced ...1 week ago
- Minister releases Fast-track stakeholder listThe Government is today releasing a list of organisations who received letters about the Fast-track applications process, says RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop. “Recently Ministers and agencies have received a series of OIA requests for a list of organisations to whom I wrote with information on applying to have a ...1 week ago
- Judicial appointments announcedAttorney-General Judith Collins today announced the appointment of Wellington Barrister David Jonathan Boldt as a Judge of the High Court, and the Honourable Justice Matthew Palmer as a Judge of the Court of Appeal. Justice Boldt graduated with an LLB from Victoria University of Wellington in 1990, and also holds ...1 week ago
- Education Minister heads to major teaching summit in SingaporeEducation Minister Erica Stanford will lead the New Zealand delegation at the 2024 International Summit on the Teaching Profession (ISTP) held in Singapore. The delegation includes representatives from the Post Primary Teachers’ Association (PPTA) Te Wehengarua and the New Zealand Educational Institute (NZEI) Te Riu Roa. The summit is co-hosted ...1 week ago
- Value of stopbank project proven during cycloneA stopbank upgrade project in Tairawhiti partly funded by the Government has increased flood resilience for around 7000ha of residential and horticultural land so far, Regional Development Minister Shane Jones says. Mr Jones today attended a dawn service in Gisborne to mark the end of the first stage of the ...1 week ago
- Anzac commemorations, Türkiye relationship focus of visitForeign Affairs Minister Winston Peters will represent the Government at Anzac Day commemorations on the Gallipoli Peninsula next week and engage with senior representatives of the Turkish government in Istanbul. “The Gallipoli campaign is a defining event in our history. It will be a privilege to share the occasion ...1 week ago
- Minister to Europe for OECD meeting, Anzac DayScience, Innovation and Technology and Defence Minister Judith Collins will next week attend the OECD Science and Technology Ministerial conference in Paris and Anzac Day commemorations in Belgium. “Science, innovation and technology have a major role to play in rebuilding our economy and achieving better health, environmental and social outcomes ...1 week ago
- Comprehensive Partnership the goal for NZ and the PhilippinesPrime Minister Christopher Luxon held a bilateral meeting today with the President of the Philippines, Ferdinand Marcos Jr. The Prime Minister was accompanied by MP Paulo Garcia, the first Filipino to be elected to a legislature outside the Philippines. During today’s meeting, Prime Minister Luxon and President Marcos Jr discussed opportunities to ...1 week ago
- Government commits $20m to Westport flood protectionThe Government has announced that $20 million in funding will be made available to Westport to fund much needed flood protection around the town. This measure will significantly improve the resilience of the community, says Local Government Minister Simeon Brown. “The Westport community has already been allocated almost $3 million ...1 week ago
- Taupō takes pole positionThe Government is proud to support the first ever Repco Supercars Championship event in Taupō as up to 70,000 motorsport fans attend the Taupō International Motorsport Park this weekend, says Economic Development Minister Melissa Lee. “Anticipation for the ITM Taupō Super400 is huge, with tickets and accommodation selling out weeks ...1 week ago
- Cost of living support for low-income homeownersLocal Government Minister Simeon Brown has announced an increase to the Rates Rebate Scheme, putting money back into the pockets of low-income homeowners. “The coalition Government is committed to bringing down the cost of living for New Zealanders. That includes targeted support for those Kiwis who are doing things tough, such ...1 week ago
- Government backing mussel spat projectThe Coalition Government is investing in a project to boost survival rates of New Zealand mussels and grow the industry, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones has announced. “This project seeks to increase the resilience of our mussels and significantly boost the sector’s productivity,” Mr Jones says. “The project - ...1 week ago
- Government focused on getting people into workBenefit figures released today underscore the importance of the Government’s plan to rebuild the economy and have 50,000 fewer people on Jobseeker Support, Social Development and Employment Minister Louise Upston says. “Benefit numbers are still significantly higher than when National was last in government, when there was about 70,000 fewer ...1 week ago
- Clean energy key driver to reducing emissionsThe Government’s commitment to doubling New Zealand’s renewable energy capacity is backed by new data showing that clean energy has helped the country reach its lowest annual gross emissions since 1999, Climate Change Minister Simon Watts says. New Zealand’s latest Greenhouse Gas Inventory (1990-2022) published today, shows gross emissions fell ...1 week ago
- Earthquake-prone buildings review brought forwardThe Government is bringing the earthquake-prone building review forward, with work to start immediately, and extending the deadline for remediations by four years, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says. “Our Government is focused on rebuilding the economy. A key part of our plan is to cut red tape that ...1 week ago
- Thailand and NZ to agree to Strategic PartnershipPrime Minister Christopher Luxon and his Thai counterpart, Prime Minister Srettha Thavisin, have today agreed that New Zealand and the Kingdom of Thailand will upgrade the bilateral relationship to a Strategic Partnership by 2026. “New Zealand and Thailand have a lot to offer each other. We have a strong mutual desire to build ...1 week ago
- Government consults on extending coastal permits for portsRMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop and Transport Minister Simeon Brown have today announced the Coalition Government’s intention to extend port coastal permits for a further 20 years, providing port operators with certainty to continue their operations. “The introduction of the Resource Management Act in 1991 required ports to obtain coastal ...1 week ago
- Inflation coming down, but more work to doToday’s announcement that inflation is down to 4 per cent is encouraging news for Kiwis, but there is more work to be done - underlining the importance of the Government’s plan to get the economy back on track, acting Finance Minister Chris Bishop says. “Inflation is now at 4 per ...1 week ago
- US student Palestine protests against Israel’s war on Gaza inspire global action
Asia Pacific Report From France to Australia, university pro-Palestine protests in the United States have now spread to several countries with students pitching on-campus camps. And students at Columbia and other US universities remain defiant as campuses have witnessed the biggest protests since the anti-Vietnam war and anti-apartheid eras in ...1 hour ago - Former Te Whatu Ora chairperson Rob Campbell criticises Health NZ's 'savings' directi...
Rob Campbell said it shows "poor management" and is "frankly irresponsible". ...3 hours ago - ‘To lead is to serve’ – Governor-General to call PM election in Solomon IslandsRNZ Pacific The race to form the next government of Solomon Islands could be a tight one, with no single party emerging from the election with enough seats to govern. Caretaker prime minister Manasseh Sogavare’s Our Party did the best, securing 15 out of the 50 seats in the House. ...3 hours ago
- Bryce Edwards – FastTrackWatch: The Case for the Government’s Fast Track BillAnalysis by Dr Bryce Edwards, Democracy Project (https://democracyproject.nz) New Zealand Government’s Fast Track legislation. Many criticisms are being made of the Government’s Fast Track Approvals Bill, including by this writer. But as with everything in politics, every story has two sides, and both deserve attention. It’s important to understand what the Government ...4 hours ago
- NZ and Türkiye pledge cooperation during natural disastersThe two countries have "a long history of coming to each other's aid", including after the 2023 Turkish earthquakes, Winston Peters says. ...7 hours ago
- Waste not, want not: New series Food Waste Kitchen turns food trash into treasure
Tara Ward talks to presenter Naomi Toilalo about the new TV show that turns food waste into a three course feast. Naomi Toilalo is standing in the warehouse at Good Neighbour Tauranga, helping unpack the two-and-a-half tonnes of rejected food that will arrive at the community support hub that day. ...7 hours ago - Vaping regulations fight 'immeasurably harder' under coalition – campaignerFocus on Politics - Successive governments have claimed crack downs on youth vaping, but the bending and breaking of rules seems pervasive. ...7 hours ago
- Dog of the month: Scout, who is so independent she could be a catScout is our latest Dog of the Month. This feature was offered as a reward during our What’s Eating Aotearoa PledgeMe campaign. Thank you to Scout’s human, Avril, for her support. Dog name: Scout (named after the little girl in To Kill a Mockingbird – she inherited the independent spirit ...8 hours ago
- ‘I don’t know if we were brave or stupid’: Megan Alatini on changing reality TVMegan Alatini takes us through her life in TV, including ‘terrible’ daytime TV, the class of Carol Hirschfeld and her most embarrassing TrueBliss moment. When she responded to a vague newspaper ad asking “do you have what it takes to be a popstar?” 25 years ago, Megan Alatini never guessed ...8 hours ago
- Behind the counter: Wellington shopkeepersA new exhibition in Wellington showcases the faces behind your local goods and services. Back in 1977, when I was a fine arts student at the University of Canterbury, I took a series of photographs of Christchurch shopkeepers. The photos were for a calendar – a project for my end ...10 hours ago
- Iranian Solidarity Group New Zealand Condemns Toomaj Salehi's Death Sentence And The New Aggres...
Toomaj and his resistance to tyranny through his songs have become an icon for the youth of Iran, so his sentence has hit the nation hard. Toomaj Salehi is not the first artist to pay the price for standing with the people. ...11 hours ago - Short story: Calf Creek, by Anna Scaife
My cousin Dylan and I spotted these big eels under the bridge that summer. We watched them lounging under the dark weed, facing into the flow of water, their mouths frozen open. Dylan and I couldn’t stop thinking about those eels. The night we went down to the creek, we ...11 hours ago - Newsroom welcomes the Secret DiaryNewsroom, home of satire. My long-running weekly satirical series The Secret Diary has moved to Newsroom and will appear every Saturday, with Victor Billot’s wildly popular satirical Odes continuing to appear every Sunday. Diaries, Odes – while serious political columnists toil at meaningful opinions and stroke their chins to an ...11 hours ago
- I saw ‘The Sign’, and it opened up my eyes: All the fuss around Bluey, explainedTara Ward unravels the many nuanced layers of a cartoon about talking dogs. This is an excerpt from our weekly pop culture newsletter Rec Room. Sign up here. It’s not often an episode of a children’s cartoon has adults sobbing into their sleeves, but that’s exactly what happened this week when ...12 hours ago
- Jessica Tater has ambition without bordersWorking as a doctor in developing countries to help communities achieve better health outcomes is nothing short of a life goal for Jessica Tater. The University of Otago medical student has her sights firmly set on joining the international humanitarian organisation Doctors Without Borders/Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF) when she qualifies ...12 hours ago
- The island where people’s stories are paramountThere’s an island in the far reaches of Auckland’s territory, sitting off the tip of the Coromandel Peninsula, 30 minutes by air from the city or four hours on the slow boat. Aotea Great Barrier is off-grid, it has a population of fewer than a thousand people … and most ...12 hours ago
- Australian author leads silence protest over ‘blood debt’ owed to PapuansAsia Pacific Report An Australian author and advocate, Jim Aubrey, today led a national symbolic one minute’s silence to mark the “blood debt” owed to Papuan allies during the Second World War indigenous resistance against the invading Japanese forces. “A promise to most people is a promise,” Aubrey said in ...13 hours ago
- Israel delays Gaza Freedom Flotilla departure with bureaucratic ‘block’Asia Pacific Report The Freedom Flotilla is ready to sail to Gaza, reports Kia Ora Gaza. All the required paperwork has been submitted to the port authority, and the cargo has been loaded and prepared for the humanitarian trip to the besieged enclave. However, organisers received word of an “administrative ...14 hours ago
- Have New Zealanders really been ‘misled’ about AUKUS, or is involvement now a foregone conclusio...ANALYSIS: By Marco de Jong, Auckland University of Technology and Robert G. Patman, University of Otago When former prime minister Helen Clark spoke out against New Zealand potentially compromising its independent foreign policy by joining pillar two of the AUKUS security pact, Foreign Minister Winston Peters responded bluntly: On ...18 hours ago
- Palestine protesters challenge TVNZ over Israeli ambassador’s ‘propaganda’Pacific Media Watch Palestine solidarity protesters today demonstrated at the Auckland headquarters of Television New Zealand, accusing the country’s major TV network of broadcasting “propaganda” backing Israel’s genocidal war on Gaza. About 50 protesters targeted the main entrance to the TVNZ building near Sky Tower and also picketed a side ...19 hours ago
- Lynley Hood Opinion – Senator Fulbright must be spinning in his grave20 hours ago
- Fast-track bill could affect NZ's reputation – Transparency InternationalThe ministers responsible for green-lighting major projects need to be open about potential conflicts of interest, says Transparency International. ...21 hours ago
- We’re all feeling the collective grief and trauma of violence against women – but this is the pr...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Anastasia Powell, Professor, Family and Sexual Violence, RMIT University It has been a particularly distressing start to the year. There is little that can ease the current grief of individuals, families and communities who have needlessly lost a loved one to men’s ...23 hours ago
- Species living closely together in symbiosis is far older and way more common than you might thinkSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Gregory Moore, Senior Research Associate, School of Ecosystem and Forest Sciences, The University of Melbourne Lichen, the first described example of symbiosis. AdeJ Artventure/Shutterstock Once known only to those studying biology, the word symbiosis is now widely used. Symbiosis is the intimate ...23 hours ago
- What is childhood dementia? And how could new research help?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Kim Hemsley, Head, Childhood Dementia Research Group, Flinders Health and Medical Research Institute, College of Medicine and Public Health, Flinders University Olena Ivanova/Shutterstock “Childhood” and “dementia” are two words we wish we didn’t have to use together. But sadly, around 1,400 ...24 hours ago
- Jobseekers get about $345 less than pensioners each fortnight. This gap is hurting, and is set to wi...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Peter Whiteford, Professor, Crawford School of Public Policy, Australian National University The government’s Economic Inclusion Advisory Committee has just published its second report. It was set up by Treasurer Jim Chalmers and Minister for Social Services Amanda Rishworth in 2022 to provide: ...24 hours ago
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- The government's 20 trips abroad in AprilThe government appears committed to overseas visits with 14 ministers and MPs in 18 countries this month. ...1 day ago
- Government unveils fetal alcohol guidelines, plan for diagnosis trainingThe government is promising to step up the response to Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, promising to boost diagnoses and raise awareness. ...1 day ago
- Labor facing heavy defeat in Queensland, but faring better in federal pollsSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Adrian Beaumont, Election Analyst (Psephologist) at The Conversation; and Honorary Associate, School of Mathematics and Statistics, The University of Melbourne The Queensland state election will be held in October. A YouGov poll for The Courier Mail, conducted April 9–17 from a sample ...1 day ago
- Why the potential for another Donald Trump presidency is making Iran very nervousSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Amin Naeni, PhD candidate at Alfred Deakin Institute for Citizenship and Globalisation, Deakin University There’s been much talk in recent months about what a possible second Donald Trump presidency in the United States could mean for Europe, Russia’s war in Ukraine, the ...1 day ago
- ‘The worst piece of law proposed since 1979’: Reactions to the Fast-track Approvals BillA brief round-up of submissions on the controversial proposed law. This is an excerpt from our weekly environmental newsletter Future Proof. Sign up here. Last week, submissions on the controversial Fast-track Approvals Bill closed just hours after the government released a list of stakeholder organisations who were sent letters advising how they could ...1 day ago
- The Friday Poem: ‘Cereal giving’ by Robin PeaceA poem from Robin Peace’s new collection Detritus of Empire: feather / grass / rock. Cereal giving I see a woman’s hands, see her curious hands break a stalk as she walks through the tall prairie, the savannah, the steppe, wherever it was. See her idly bite the grass that ...1 day ago
- The Unity Books bestseller chart for the week ending April 26The only published and available best-selling indie book chart in New Zealand is the top 10 sales list recorded every week at Unity Books’ stores in High St, Auckland, and Willis St, Wellington. AUCKLAND 1 Hemingway’s Goblet by Dermot Ross (Mary Egan Publishing, $38) A handsomely produced (debossed cover, lovely ...1 day ago
- Te Rūnanga O Ngāti Whātua Welcomes Commissioner's Decision Regarding Awataha MaraeThe Commissioner's decision validates the longstanding efforts of the local community and ensures that Awataha Marae will be managed to serve the needs of the local community, particularly for hosting tangihanga. ...1 day ago
- We reconstructed landscapes that greeted the first humans in Australia around 65,000 years agoSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Tristan Salles, Associate professor, University of Sydney Examples of Australian landscapes. Unsplash Seventy thousand years ago, the sea level was much lower than today. Australia, along with New Guinea and Tasmania, formed a connected landmass known as Sahul. Around this time – ...1 day ago
- What do we lose when our old suburbs disappear?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Felicity Castagna, Lecturer, Creative Writing, Western Sydney University Day Day Market, Parramatta Photo: Garry Trinh I live on the edge of Parramatta, Australia’s fastest-growing city, on the kind of old-fashioned suburban street that has 1950s fibros constructed in the post-war housing boom, ...1 day ago
- Does fighting inflation always lead to recession? What 60 years of NZ data can tell usSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michael Ryan, Teaching Fellow in Economics, University of Waikato GettyImages fatido/Getty Images There is an ongoing global debate over whether the high inflation seen in the aftermath of the COVID-19 pandemic can be lowered without a recession. New Zealand is not ...1 day ago
- After spending $700,000 on pins for Covid-19 workers, department now cutting costsA government office that set aside millions for lapel pins for pandemic workers is now looking to cut back on spending. ...1 day ago
- ‘A hell of a lot of fun’: Our reviews of Chris Isaak’s dazzling Auckland showThe ‘Wicked Game’ heartthrob is in his late 60s now. That didn’t stop him putting on a lively, goofy and very sparkly show. Apart from ‘Wicked Game’, which graces a sultry playlist of mine simply called 💋, my last sustained Chris Isaak listening session took place when I was about ...1 day ago
- The Week in Politics: Days of drama and demotionsAnalysis - Two ministers were stripped of portfolios in a warning to Cabinet, drama broke out at the Waitangi Tribunal, and the gang patch ban bill ran into opposition. ...1 day ago
- Hear me out: All I want is a TrueBliss T-shirtTara Ward makes an impassioned plea for some vital pop culture merch. In April 1999, I became obsessed with a new reality television show called Popstars. Every Tuesday night, five strangers transformed into music royalty before my very eyes as Joe, Keri, Carly, Erika and Megan were chosen to form ...1 day ago
- Solemn ANZAC dawn service at PNG’s Isurava battle memorialPNG Post-Courier In the early hours of ANZAC Day, aerial photographs captured an impressive gathering of Australians and Papua New Guineans at Isurava in the Northern (Oro) Province. The solemn dawn service yesterday was held at a site steeped in history, where some of the fiercest battles of World War ...1 day ago
- Political editors panel: A reshuffle and the fast trackListen - RNZ's Jo Moir and NZ Herald's Claire Trevett dissect the demotion of two ministers and the PM's response on Morning Report. ...1 day ago
- After-hours clinics on verge of collapse in some regionsOverworked GPs have signalled they can no longer cover, while funding is falling short. ...1 day ago
- Oranga Tamariki Axes Specialist Māori Roles, Weakens Commitment To Te Ao MāoriThe PSA is shocked that Oranga Tamariki has used the cost cutting drive to downgrade its commitment to Te Ao Māori and remove many specialist Māori roles. ...1 day ago
- China’s money only goes so far – Kokoda shows why history binds PNG and Australia in a far deepe...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Ian Kemish, Adjunct Professor, School of Historical and Philosophical Inquiry, The University of Queensland There can be no more powerful symbol of the relationship between Australia and Papua New Guinea than the prime ministers of these neighbouring countries walking together on the ...1 day ago
- We spoke to young people about sexual consent. They understand the concept, but don’t always ask i...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Andrea Waling, ARC DECRA Senior Research Fellow in Sex & Sexuality, La Trobe University BAZA Production/Shutterstock Sexual consent has been a major focus in Australia for the past few years. In early 2022 the federal government mandated consent education in ...1 day ago
- Longer-lasting ozone holes over Antarctica expose seal pups and penguin chicks to much more UVSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Sharon Robinson, Distinguished Professor and Deputy Director of ARC Securing Antarctica’s Environmental Future (SAEF), University of Wollongong, University of Wollongong Andrew Netherwood Over the last 25 years, the ozone hole which forming over Antarctica each spring has started to shrink. ...1 day ago
- Granting legal ‘personhood’ to nature is a growing movement – can it stem biodiversity loss?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Viktoria Kahui, Senior Lecturer in Environmental Economics, University of Otago Getty Images/Amy Toensing Biodiversity is declining at rates unprecedented in human history. This suggests the ways we currently use to manage our natural environment are failing. One emerging concept focuses on ...1 day ago
- Will checking character references really help you find the best candidate for a job?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Timothy Colin Bednall, Associate Professor in Management, Swinburne University of Technology marvent/Shutterstock Finding the best person to fill a position can be tough, from drafting a job ad to producing a shortlist of top interview candidates. Employers typically consider information from ...1 day ago
- A guide to Wellington’s best BYO restaurantsWondering where to host your next BYO? Whether its a small gathering or a massive party, we’ve got some recommendations. I was first introduced to the concept of BYOs at Dunedin’s India Gardens, a legendary but sadly defunct establishment, which purveyed enormous quantities of mango chicken to Aotearoa’s drunkest future ...1 day ago
- New rock art discoveries in Eastern Sudan tell a tale of ancient cattle, the ‘green Sahara’ and ...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Julien Cooper, Honorary Lecturer, Department of History and Archaeology, Macquarie University Julien Cooper The hyper-arid desert of Eastern Sudan, the Atbai Desert, seems like an unlikely place to find evidence of ancient cattle herders. But in this dry environment, my new ...1 day ago
- Paul Goldsmith starts as new Media Minister replacing sacked Melissa LeeThe media industry is "under pressure", Paul Goldsmith says, but he plans to plot a path forward as he takes up the difficult role. ...1 day ago
- Media industry sheds few tears for minister LeeThe sector says it’s hopeful her replacement Paul Goldsmith will be able to throw it a lifeline, after six months with a minister deemed missing in action, writes Catherine McGregor in this excerpt from The Bulletin, The Spinoff’s morning news round-up. To receive The Bulletin in full each weekday, sign ...1 day ago
- Is NZ bringing in 'Indonesian coal every month to keep the lights on'?Analysis: The Resource Minister said it, but is it true and why does it matter? ...1 day ago
- More spending cuts needed to stablise government finances – economistThe government can't just rely on axing public sector jobs and has to do more to cut spending, says the chief economist at a free market think tank. ...1 day ago
- The government's 22 trips abroad in AprilThe government appears committed to overseas visits with 14 miniters and MPs in 18 countries this month. ...1 day ago
- Loopholes will be exploited in new vape rules – expertsThere is no doubt vape manufacturers will find and exploit loopholes in new regulations, say marketing experts. ...1 day ago
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take me to your larder
Don’t you guys have a sense of humour? It went down well with NgÄti Porou.
Your grandson? I assumed it was the main course.
“I love Maori but I couldn’t eat a whole one!”
*Thinks
What was that greeting I was taught –
Kia-ora? or Kai-tangata?
No thanks Tame. I’m full!
Couldn’t eat another one!
E Koro! Why’s that tauiwi sniffing me?
This ones kanga-fed John.
He’s a succulent one!
Trade you for your tama!
While meeting with Tameiti, the Prime Minister hid as much exposed flesh as possible.
“Don’t worry Tama, we here at the VRWC have known for a long time that baby eating enhances your mana”
Don’t eat me bro!
nom nom nom
F***ing intellectuals!
Ko te tama nei?
Ko toku mokopuna ia.
Ko ‘Momona me reka’ tana ingoa!
Ummm, I need to look to find some Maori translator code. Can you restate that in c++?
aroha mai 1prent
This boy?
He’s my grandchild.
His name is ‘Fat and sweet’.
Ko te tama nei?
Ko toku mokopuna ia.
Ko ‘Momona me reka’ tana ingoa!
🙂
Try this one, better phrased, greenfly:
E tama nei?
He mokopuna i a ia
Ko ‘He momona a he reka’ tana ingoa
Does that sound better, or have I munted it up?
It does and you haven’t.
Pai rawa tou whakatika ki a au.
“Hi John, good to see you with your hands in your own pockets for a change”
Dinner. Yours or mine?
Look! I got takeout!
fyi – TÄme Iti
“So, you’ll get me a job in Jackie Blue’s office, and all I have to do is let you take my mokopuna to Waitangi?”
He’ll be just fine Tame.
I’ll have him chur-broiled.
“Well Tame, I see you’ve certainly grabbed life with both hands.”
“I hate to disappoint you Tame, but I’m sure your next generation will find our party even harder to digest than you do.”
What did you say Tama? Hongi or hangi?
Tame: “Keep smiling John – and hope like hell the boys scored enough real pork for the hangi.”
“Dont fret Tame, we gonna legislate to allow consumption of homosapien again very soon. Great export potential too”
“I understand you got something to say?”
“heheh arr, not really umm, ha. hmmm.”
“You’re looking a bit tense John – what’s eating you?’
But some of my best friends are maori.
Hey John, when the bro’s told you the East Coast had the best pot, they weren’t talking about cooking, eh..
No that’s not how it works, you can’t swap your first born for Te Urewera National Park.
John K – Do you read the Standard.
Tama Iti – No it’s shit.
E Koro – Didn’t you say we shouldn’t play with our kai?
I bet you wouldn’t dress the kid in a NZ flag and tell him to lie on the ground outside the marae !
Where’d that come from burt? You’re really letting it all out lately, aintcha?
Jesus! That’s not a piece of spinach stuck between Tame’s teeth!
That burp of Tame’s!
Reminds me of the way my granny used to smell…
hang on!
Yeah, yeah, nah Tame. Traders Oysters would be off the menu. Never did have any balls. What you see standing before you is just a useless shirted prick prone to vacuous ejaculations…
“Well Tame, once I got my foot back out of my mouth I realised that you couldn’t possibly be interested in a man of such poor taste.”
“How about it John. You give back our land and I’ll hand over your car keys and your nephew.”
“You’re a funny guy, John. I like you. That’s why I’m going to kill you last.” – Arnold Schwarzenneger – Commando (1985)
I keep my end of the deal John, I’ve brought the baby guling now give us back Te Urewera’s.
Nice camo’s bro. But did you see me in that flak jacket?
If you eat me for breakfast Tame, I’ll be gone by lunchtime. Let me go and I’ll send you Brownlee and Joyce. They should see you through the winter.
John: I can do it I know I can, don’t make me laugh Tama cos when I laugh I smile when I smile I wave and If I keep my hands in my pockets I will beat this bloody addiction foreshore. Oh shit did I say foreshore?
You brown fellas are tricky aye man?
i almost fell off my chair laughing with this image 😆
can’t think of a caption that could be any funnier than the image itself
oh the rich ironies of politics
Come on Tama, remember what happened to the bloody Moa when you ate all the ones that were easy to catch !
Key: “I’m relaxed about it”, Tama: “what the fuck you relaxed about whiteboi”.
Hey Tama, I came here to be culturally sensitive. I left the nightshirts and tea-towels in the ME. Can’t you offer me something more than a baby hangi?
Nah! I never believed that stuff in the police affidavit. Those chaps were given to extravagant rhetoric! Keith Locke gave them all good reference.
After confiscating your fertile land, destroying your crops and homes, chasing off your stock and charging you exorbitantly for surveying your land without your permission we’ll make jokes about you and maintain the status quo. What’s your problem?
“Shirkers unite! You have nothing to lose but your brains!”
John K – You know Tame as Minister of Tourism I could help you with development of tourism on your land, a PPP arrangement – you know a Public-Private Partnership.
Tame I – No good John. The three P’s we’re interested in are pork, puha and Papa-tu-anuku (Mother Earth).
The innate a priori capacity of infants to divine sublimated terror and incipient catastrophe is encapsulated for posterity in the now-classic “Tama and the Smiling Snake” snapped shortly before the watershed “Tuhoegate” events of 2010 by an anonymous blogger. (re-produced with kind permission from “Our Humble Parts”: Prentice and R0bspierrre, MartyPress 2015, and the Clark Foundation)
Your style of wit has a relatively familiar ring to it.
Smells like fish, tastes like chicken, John Key you’re a c***
Celebrity Master Chef NZ judge John Key emerges apparently unscathed after a grilling by failed Tuhoe finalist Tame Iti.
Emerging from ‘in tents’ negotiations neither man proved willing to reveal his hand.
Politically I really need to put a cycle way through it, if you agree to that it’s yours.
kia ora burt, long time no see, back on the bike?
‘Look Tame, a smile and a wave is not agreement that something is doable.’
Yes, I did make the joke, but I smiled and waved when I said it so everything is ok.
key:..
will a smile and a wave do..?
key:..
um..!..no thanks..i don’t think i can make it over for dinner…
iti:..
wanna belly-bounce…?
key:..
i guess a moko wouldn’t be entirely out of the question…
..it’s do-able…
phil(whoar.co.nz)
key:..
didja hear that joke i cracked last night..?
phil(whoar.co.nz)
it:..
that’s not funny bro..!
phil(whoar.co.nz)
key:..
yes..bronny cuts my hair…
phil(whoar.co.nz)
key:..
do i wanna go pig-hunting with you..?
phil(whoar.co.nz)
key:..
we have both got big noses..haven’t we…?
phil(whoar.co.nz)
iti:..
would you mind going vegetarian for a few months..?
it improves the taste…
phil(whoar.co.nz)
iti:
i’m in my cammo…
..wanna come into the tent for some war-talk…?
phil(whoar.co.nz)
iti:
i cd give you a mccrystal…
c’mon..!
phil(whoar.co.nz)
iti:..
d’ya know that all the bro’s are calling you one-term-john..?
phil(whoar.co.nz)
What I actually said Tame was,
which is Tuhoe, and I did them like a dinner
Tame Eaty.
Did anyone else notice from the picture, that Tame Iti has John Key’s life in his hands?
Iti: “When the camera stop I boot your arse off my Marae”
Key: “In your dreams pokokohua”
iti:..
remember that night you stayed down here…a few years back..?
..and that wahine..?
..say hello to the result…
phil(whoar.co.nz)