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Doofus of the week May 12, 2018

Written By: - Date published: 12:00 pm, May 12th, 2018 - 62 comments
Categories: by-election, doofus of the week, elections, labour, national, paula bennett, phil twyford, Politics, public transport, same old national, the praiseworthy and the pitiful, transport, you couldn't make this shit up - Tags: , , ,

There were two strong contenders this week.

One was Paula Bennett for her attack on Jacinda Ardern for trying to compile a Spotify list. Bennett claimed that the only thing she ever did when she was a Minister was work but there some who disagreed …

I suspect that a Spotify list is something that she does not have. Or comprehend.

Toby Manhire had an exquisite response:

Others kicked in.

And Spotify and Neale Jones nailed it.

But there was someone in the political world whose performance was even worse than Paula’s. Dan Bidois who wants to become an MP gave this train crash of an interview to Simon Wilson of the Herald.  Wilson was extremely naughty and reported a number of Bidois’s comments verbatim.

When asked about his thoughts he thought lots.  But there was no coherent links between his various thoughtses.

For instance he thought that Teachers should be valued much more in society but he did now want to comment on how much they should be paid.  He thought maybe there should be an Auckland allowance for teachers but did not commit to supporting nurses and police officers.  And “good” teachers should be paid more than “bad teachers”.

His view on local issues was interesting.  He seemed to say that Northcote’s T3 lane, which handles 70 per cent of peak-time commuters on Onewa Rd, was a good idea and riders do not get stuck in traffic. But Auckland Transport has ignored the feedback from residents.

Previously he has advocated for the T3 to become a T2 but he realises this would not solve congestion issues.  He says that Northcote needs more parking.  Maybe on those pesky T3 lanes.

In Danworld Buses are good but how are people meant to get to the bus if they can’t park.  And there should be clearways even though there already are clearways.

He is a figher.  He will fight for Northcote and bang on Phil Twyford’s door and achieve more than Coleman, who was a Minister in Government, managed to achieve.

On a rather contentious local issue, Skypath, he says he supports it but thinks there are better things to do with taxpayers’ money.  He says that Skypath has to link to SeaPath even though that has already been agreed to.

He also complained that Skypath parking poses privacy issues.  Yes that does not make any sense no matter how many times you read it.  And he thinks that the people of Northcote are unanimously against Skypath even though surveys have suggested many locals are in favour.

He also thinks that the value of SkyPath is not as great as more roading projects, and public transport and more Park and Rides.  But he does support it and it is a good initiative.

And he will always tell the truth …

I can’t figure out if he did not understand the issues or he was trying to talk out of both sides of his mouth at the same time or both.  But if this is indicative of his quality then National is in trouble and Labour may cause an upset.

Time will tell …

But for now for maybe the first and only time in his political career Dan Bidois is the Standard’s Doofus of the week.

62 comments on “Doofus of the week May 12, 2018 ”

  1. Sacha 1

    How does Bidois function in a strategy job when he is unable to string together even a few coherent thoughts?

    • Incognito 1.1

      Some people call them “thoughts”, others call them “brain farts”.

      It is not quite on par with the Nobel Peace Prize but becoming Doofus of the Week on TS is an achievement not to be sneezed at especially when fighting stiff competition from within his own party (it is his party, isn’t it? It’s so hard to tell with Danny Boy but the signs are there …).

    • paul andersen 1.2

      donald trump………

  2. Tracey 2

    Phil Twyford must have run close, misspeaking the cost of a 1 bdrm home 3 or 4 times.

    Hopefully the level of coverage tv3 gave this will extend to utterances from Nat MPs mouths… Does anyone know if Garner tore strips off Bennett for her short memory and spite this week?

  3. lprent 3

    I pity you having you make a choice between these two doofus candidates. But I suspect you are right in your pick.

    Besides we really want to keep Paula Bennett opening her mouth on behalf of all of the National party members and supporters. She represents them so well – especially the younger generations. Self-interested, self-entitled, and so incredibly ignorant.

    • Ed 3.1

      “Self-interested, self-entitled, and so incredibly ignorant.”


    • Babayaga 3.2

      No choice required. Twyford surely wins for his continuing screw ups over kiwi build.

      • adam 3.2.1

        desperate much…

          • Ed

            Are you for real?
            You come on this site it would appear to pimp for the super rich.
            Is that your plan?
            Is that what you want NZ to become?
            A paradise for the 1%?

            • Baba Yaga

              Address the point. Twyford has lied/manipulated/obfusgated his way into a mess of his own making. Are you seriously defending his incompetence and dishonesty?

              Here’s more of his lies exposed by the Sallies:


              • Ed

                I can’t be bothered addressing the point if the only reason you are here is to shill for the rich.

              • dukeofurl

                Jenna Lynch is just recycling Nationals anti Twyford tirades.

                She wouldnt know a latte from a transitional emergency housing place !

                Housing is hard , really hard but National is desperate to ‘create the impression’ that nothing will change after their 9 years of inaction.
                Its an illusion.

                • Baba Yaga

                  The current housing problems began under Labour. National were woefully slow in addressing it, but belatedly took action which has calmed the market considerably. What we don’t need is a lying Minster who is totally out of his depth. Move over Twyford, Labour have better people to take over.

                  • One Anonymous Bloke

                    Thus, he spaketh the litany, and the people were in awe, apart from the multitude who looketh at one another and rolleth their eyes.

                    • Baba Yaga


                    • One Anonymous Bloke


                      Missed opportunity there Mordecai. I was expecting you to affect that “he” in my comment is Twyford, as opposed to you, Don Brash, and the other members of the queue.

                    • Baba Yaga

                      Oh I took the opportunity. You claim a ‘multitude’. I say you’d have trouble filling a phone booth.

                    • McFlock

                      hundreds of millions, probably…

                • dukeofurl

                  Remember John Keys blatant lie
                  “”On I think Tuesday or Wednesday night MSD and the Sallies went around and knocked on I think eight cars that they could find, all eight of those people refused to take support either from Sallies or from MSD.”

                  Divisional commander Ian Hutson said it declined an offer by MSD officials to accompany them, as many of the people there had a deep distrust of government officials.

                  So it never happened but Key and Bennett were keen to get the boot in, as usual kicking down not up.

                  Whats happened to newshubs Lloyd Burr ? Kicked upstairs( Europe) because national wont work with him?

                  • Baba Yaga

                    They’re all liars. I just get a huge laugh when lefties try to pretend their darlings don’t do it too.

                    • One Anonymous Bloke

                      They’re all liars.

                      How do you suggest we proceed? I’m a big fan of real world data and falsifiability, myself.

                    • Baba Yaga

                      “How do you suggest we proceed? I’m a big fan of real world data and falsifiability, myself.”

                      We proceed as follows:

                      1. All politicians lie.
                      2. Some are more capable for running the country, and therefore have to be tolerated.
                      3. We should elect those who are more capable, even though they are most likely liars.

                      Depressing, isn’t it.

                    • One Anonymous Bloke

                      We can measure competence. For example, judicial review can help weed out policy that is based on false premises or ignores relevant science.

                    • Baba Yaga

                      “We can measure competence. For example, judicial review can help weed out policy that is based on false premises or ignores relevant science.”

                      True, but only when that option is explored. All too often it is not. Closure of Partnership Schools to appease the unions. Funding of rich kids tertiary education while not having enough money for far more worthy causes. Providing a coalition partner with a slush fund in the name of ‘regional development’. Who will call for JR’s on these nonsensical policies?

          • adam

            feel like I’m repeating myself, but

            desperate much….

            • Baba Yaga

              So you’re a supporter of Twyfords shenanigans? Or you just like the lies of the left being exposed?

              • Incognito

                So, Twyford’s lies are now the lies of the left!? And all lefties who disagree with you are by definition complicit? I’m just asking because it can be a fine line between being simplistic and delusional and I think you’re standing right on top of that fine line so it’s hard to tell …

                • Baba Yaga

                  “So, Twyford’s lies are now the lies of the left!? ”

                  • Incognito

                    You’re now so far away from that fine line you can’t even see the other side and we know which side that it is.

                  • Incognito

                    Odd question. In what capacity does he represent the left; as MP or as Minister?

                    I think you don’t know the meaning of “representative” so your premise is flawed.

                    Let me run this by you: if my local MP, whom I may or may not have voted for, which in any case does not alter that fact that they are my local MP and representative in Parliament, lies then by your reasoning I’m lying too!? Or does this only apply if I’ve voted for them? You seem to think that the Left is or has some kind of hive-mind or something … As I said, your logic seems a little off …

                    • Baba Yaga

                      “Odd question. In what capacity does he represent the left; as MP or as Minister?”

                      He is overseeing an alleged program by the state to allegedly build large numbers of houses. I realise he is failing, but does that objective not qualify as left wing?

              • adam

                You mean Tweety Twyford over reached, yeap he’s prone to that. Get over it, at least he is trying to help, which is more than your lot did in 9 years.

                • Baba Yaga

                  Is ‘overreached’ the new euphemism for ‘lied through his teeth’?

            • Incognito

              It does feel like Groundhog Day …

              • One Anonymous Bloke


                Take three steps to the right and try not to become acrophobic.

              • adam

                Sadly, some can’t accept that the Muppets they support are just dim, without all the money they poured into a race, they’d never stand a chance.

                But then again, money in politics always makes the right feel smug and a have modicum of self worth.

  4. tracey 4

    Last time we had an MP assure us all he woukd always be honest and answer questions that werent even asked we got John Key

  5. Stunned Mullet 5

    Come come now these are very poor examples, to really shine as a doofus one should learn from a master.


    • The Fairy Godmother 5.1

      Don’t bother clicking on this it’s an article about the scrutiny that went on Len Brown. He was no doofus and did heaps for Auckland getting some transport solutions for Auckland. Perhaps you were referring to the doofuses who raved on about his private life maybe Palino not sure the reference is a bit obscure. Could do better in my opinion.

      • In Vino 5.1.1

        Agreed. Stunned Mullet really had to be stunned (concussed?) to try to bring up that old drivel.

      • Ed 5.1.2

        Don’t bother clicking.
        It’s in the Herald.

      • Stunned mullet 5.1.3

        ‘Len brown did heaps for Auckland’.

        Have you had a peyote pizza? The man oversaw a vast rise in rates combined with little to no increase in services or infrastructure and a burgeoning local bureaucracy, combine that with his buffoonery about town and you have a doofus for the ages.

        • The Fairy Godmother

          City rail link. Huge

        • The Fairy Godmother

          He didn’t create the supercity which was the cause of the rise in bureaucracry. You can thank your ACT friend Rodney hide for that. Not sure what you mean by buffoonery about town unless you are referring to an ill judged affair with a woman who was friends with his opposition. Rates pay for services and Auckland has been seriously underfunded for years which is why we have so much congestion and ugly run down facilities. I don’t remember a vast increase in rates I think a citation is needed for this. I say we need to pay more rates.

  6. Ah, so many candidates, so hard to choose!

    What about Soimon – I ticked a like on Whaleoil, which I only visit rarely. by accident – but I deleted it in a second. And I’m ready to apologise to Clarke if required.

    That’s real doofus material!

    • Wensleydale 6.1

      You can’t expect too much of young Simon. He studied at the foot of the master — John “Yeah, I touched up that waitress repeatedly after she’d asked me not to, but it was all a bit of harmless japery and I gave her a bottle of plonk as an apology!” Key. The bar has been set so low it’s virtually subterranean.

  7. JustMe 7

    I am sure that if he even gets voted in as a representative of the population of Northcote that Mr Bidois will be consigned to a back-bench and will hardly be able to get a word in edgeways for Northcote voters.
    None of the older National MPs will want to bother listening to him. Also he looks far too smarmy. In other words a Yes-man like Simon Bridges.
    I work in Northcote and the traffic congestion problems along Onewa Road is just deplorable.
    Looking at Bidois opinion about there being good and bad teachers I do wonder under what category he would place National Minister Gerry Brownlee who was once a woodwork teacher and told his students to read say page 200 of a one hundred page book. Gerry Brownlee is a perfect example of what a bad teacher looks like.
    The population of the Shore need a better connection from the Shore to Auckland. All they have is one aging bridge called the Auckland Harbour Bridge and two limited forms of public transport i.e buses and ferries. Hence the need for them to use their vehicles to commute around the place and across the bridge. But the problem for many Shore commuters is even when they park at an area that is designated for parking they have to pay enormous(lets call it extortionist)amounts for that park.
    The Skypath is a good idea and I do hope it happens in our life-time.

    • Cinny 7.1

      “Gerry Brownlee is a perfect example of what a bad teacher looks like.”

      A close friend was taught by brownlee, he strongly agrees with you, brownlee would bully all of those boys and leave them to teach themselves while he read about politics, true story.

      • dukeofurl 7.1.1

        I know. Brownlee was pushed out of the family timber business and seemed to land on his feet at a secondary school – I think it was first as ‘woodwork teacher’ – which might have made sense, but before long he was teaching Maori !!
        This from someone who failed UE twice.

        “In one town hall meeting of the PPTA, involving most of the city’s teachers, only one voice called out “no” on an important vote. It was Brownlee. He then loudly called for a division, meaning every vote in the hall had to be counted.”

  8. mary_a 8

    Geeze is this guy for real? Somehow I think his brain is stuck up his bum, covered in crap and he’s speaking through his sphincter ring!

    And this is the best Natz has to represent it in a byelection … ha ha love it.

    • Cinny 8.1

      ROFL Mary, you nailed that 🙂

      Dan the donut, geez that interview, how embarrassing.

    • Lettuce 8.2

      Actually Mary, the joke’s on us. Our taxes will probably end up paying this complete moron a handsome salary to loll about on the back benches of parliament for the next 20 years at least.

  9. cleangreen 9

    interview by Simon Wilson on the National Candidate wins as the prize.

    The National Candidate looked like a proper plonker.

    God help NZ!!!


  10. You_Fool 10

    Having re-read and thought about it, I think the problem for Dan Bidois is that he knows that what Labour and the Auckland Council are doing is the correct thing to do, and that there needs to be more spending on education, health and public transport because it has been underfunded over the past 9 years, but he can’t say that because he is on the team that made things the way they are, and want to keeps doing that. He also knows that the majority of Northcote want those things done, so he has to sort of support it but not at the same time… However he hasn’t had the media training to do that so he is all over the place….

    Really he should just drop the National lines and go with what he knows is the right things to do

  11. cleangreen 11

    Yes You- Fool 100%

    Dan Bidois is simply an “academic” and as such has no “common sense” grounding as we in the real world have so he is way out of his sphere of knowledge here.

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