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Five headed monster

Written By: - Date published: 9:30 am, October 24th, 2014 - 56 comments
Categories: john key - Tags: ,

Key has so much dirt to try and dodge that his playing slippery has reached a whole new plane. Depending on the political needs of the moment Key may or may not be:

  • Prime Minister
  • The Prime Minister’s Office
  • Leader of the National Party
  • A private citizen
  • That guy who keeps ringing Cameron Slater for no reason at all.

With all due respect to the five-headed monster, I think it’s time for a new version…


56 comments on “Five headed monster ”

  1. ankerawshark 1


    • seeker 1.1

      Agreed -totally brilliant. This is the perfect image of the ‘crittur’ that we have voted in as our Prime Minister. It says so much more than words!

      I’m sure this monster is just an “adolescent” one though. I hope it is soon dispensed with before it really matures!

      *”adolescent” quote was seen as a Guardian headline after Greenwald’s comment on September 15. The headline said something like “New Zealand’s adolescent PM”-can’t find the link at the mo.

  2. Rodel 2

    I’ve often thought two faced but can’t cope with five faced.

  3. vto 3

    all those heads but still no substance.

    they must all be empty

    • lprent 3.1

      They just contain sensory clusters. Unlike large dinosaurs who had the ancillary brain down by the tail, this species of hydra has their real brain under the tail.

    • Treetop 3.2

      “they must all be empty”

      Either that or the five senses (see, hear, touch, taste, smell) are haywire.

  4. Treetop 4

    Irrespective of which hat Key is wearing, there is no excuse for bad judgement or using your position and resources (crown) to evade what you are responsible for and required to do.

    Question time is for questions, not to cower behind the speaker.

  5. philj 5

    But they’re all masks!

  6. blue leopard 6

    It is difficult to see how people would think this type of shite was worth re-electing back into power

    The opposition parties were showing much more sincerity toward addressing the problems New Zealand has to address.

    They were offering way more and better policies to address these issues and for making improvements

    They all show a lot more understanding of the value of democratic processes

    They all show a lot more respect toward the New Zealand public

    …And people voted this useless and degenerate bollocks back in?

    Who are these people who voted this back into government?
    And what were they thinking?

    • b waghorn 6.1

      They are the people that don’t go past the head line , listen past the sound bite and the greedy.

      • blue leopard 6.1.1

        That sounds about right.

        Democracy’s weakness is that of becoming a mob-rule.

        The manner in which the right are propagandizing the public and the weakness that the public are showing toward that propaganda, means all we are achieving is weakening democracy into mob-rule.

        This is truly a disgrace.

        • BM

          Christ, what a lot of wailing and nonsense.

          Just because people didn’t vote the way you wanted doesn’t mean democracy has being cheated.

          The fact are, the left didn’t appeal to as much to people as the right, except it and move on.

          • blue leopard

            How about you prove what I am saying is nonsense, rather than state such without providing justification for your stance.

            Speak to the points I made as to why I believe the left were offering more than the right.

            Provide reasons for what is so shit hot about having a PM that takes no responsibility and fudges issues on a regular basis?

            Prove to me that people didn’t fairly well much do, exactly as B Waghorn outlined?

            Do this without stating the cheap-shit propaganda slogans that were used that is the probable cause of this election result.

            I often am capable of seeing another side of a matter, but on this one, I am waiting for a reasonable justification to be put to me from the other side.

            I have a nasty feeling that the result of this election was more due to powerful spin and lack of skill in countering that spin, (there we are, a criticism of the left for you), than anything to do with thinking about aims, direction, policies or what was best for New Zealand.

            I will take one part of your advice, I will except it – by which I assume you meant take exception to it.

            • BM

              Reasons the left lost.

              1. David Cunnliffe.
              – Sorry for being a man
              -not a leaders arsehole

              2. Hone Harawera and Kim Dotcom
              – Hones the racist Mofo is hated by middle Nz
              – No one liked Mr Fritz trying to buy the election

              3. Winston Peters
              – No one apart from the uninformed idiots wants Peters holding the country to ransom

              4. The Greens.
              -Extremists, could have made up a large portion of government if the left was elected, not liked by vast majority of voters,which is why they only got 10%

              5.Dirty politics.

              • blue leopard

                Thanks for the summary of the propaganda that you are most susceptible to, BM.

                You just highlighted my point.

                • BM

                  What are you going to do when National wins 2017 and probably 2020 as well?

                  • blue leopard

                    I do not like to disappoint, so, I’ll leave that to your wild imaginings, and I do this particularly because wild imaginings is something you appear to enjoy and do so well. (Perhaps that is why you are so susceptible to propaganda?)

                  • McFlock

                    If that comes to pass, then the same thing as when they won last time and the time before: keep slogging away.

                    Because it’s one thing to have a blatantly corrupt government that treats a large number of its citizens worse than you’d treat an animal, simply because propaganda and stupidity get it re-elected.
                    It’s another thing entirely to say nothing while you watch them do it.

              • adam

                I’d like a link to prove Hone is a racist, BM. I think that is the least you could do.

                Because calling someone a racist – you had better back that shit up.

          • b waghorn

            A person I know well said to me before the election that she knew national where dodgy but was worried about losing two much money with cgt on the 2 rentals she owns .

    • fisiani 6.2

      On the other hand they could have voted for The Cunliffe………..no wait, that would truly be comedy.

    • Murray Rawshark 6.3

      One of my nieces voted for Key. In her case, she’s thick, selfish, greedy, and attention seeking. This used to make her different from most Kiwis. Used to 🙁

  7. Tautoko Mangō Mata 7

     @BM Some corrections; Reasons the left lost
    1. David Cunliffe- vilified by red neck knuckle-draggers for saying
    “I’m sorry for being a man right now, because family and sexual violence is perpetrated overwhelmingly by men against women and children.”
    -not a leaders arsehole- that would be John Key

    • grumpystilskin 7.1

      I do agree that DC’s statement was taken out of context and edited but here’s some stats.

      (sorry can’t find the link but saved the text earlier in the year)
      From the Otago Daily Times

      Children most often killed by mothers
      Home » News » National
      Tue, 25 Sep 2012
      News: National

      New Zealand mothers kill more children than any other group in society and men are victims of domestic violence as often as women, a police investigation has found.

      The Family Violence Death Review, released today by police, found mothers were responsible for 45 per cent of children killed by domestic violence.

      The review of 95 family violence deaths involving 101 victims between 2004 and 2011 revealed some “inconvenient truths”, Family First national director Bob McCoskrie said.

      He said the statistics debunked the misleading popular perception “that women and children need to be protected from men”.

      “This gender focus is misleading,” Mr McCoskrie said.

      “If we’re really serious about reducing family violence, we need to talk about … our violent culture and the role alcohol and drugs play in fuelling this environment.”

      The police report – which only involved deaths that were subject to a Family Violence Death Review – found:

      • Victims were spread almost equally between men, women and children

      • Mothers killed 15 of the 33 child victims

      • 81 per cent of female victims and 29 per cent of male victims were killed by a former or current spouse or partner

      • 64 per cent of all deaths were in families where police had prior involvement

      • In 55 per cent of child deaths police had prior involvement with the family

      • Most suspects or offenders were aged in their 20s.

      University of Otago Professor David Fergusson, an expert on domestic violence, said the public perception that men were the perpetrators of most domestic violence was the result of biased publicity.

      “The proper message is that both gender groups have a capacity for domestic violence [and] women probably perpetrate more assaults on children then men do,” Mr Fergusson said.

      The ramifications are a public health system that tends to overlook male victims of domestic violence.

      One example was White Ribbon Day, which he had been critical of because it focused on female survivors of domestic violence and there was “no comparable day for male victims”.

      “It is those biases which have been built into our system right the way through it, largely from feminist rhetoric that implies that males are always to blame.

      “The bottom line is the importance of public policy being based on evidence.”

      Mr Fergusson said dealing with child abuse “certainly needs to be a lot more of a priority than it’s given”.

      Education should be the cornerstone for parents, particularly to learn how to cope with the stresses associated with a newborn.

      “I think that by a series of programs targeted at teaching parents better skills, giving them support, we can minimise the risk of child abuse.”

      Labour’s women’s affairs spokeswoman Sue Moroney said the report showed “police must resume reporting full family violence statistics so we can get the full picture”.

      National crime manager Detective Superintendent Rod Drew said police had introduced ways to deal with domestic violence since 2004, including a risk analysis tool.

  8. Tautoko Mangō Mata 8

    Here are some other reports on domestic violence, other than deaths. Of course women have the capacity to engage in domestic violence, but Mr McCoskrie, who has been involved in campaigns against the legislative change that removed the justification of corporal punishment by parents in New Zealand is hardly one to quote on domestic violence issues. People who resort to physical punishment as an automatic response to having their “authority” questioned are not going to be motivated to learn non-violent responses unless the act is illegal.


    Peter Adams: Gender blind view of violence lets men off the hook
    This article is by Associate Professor Peter Adams School of Population Health, University of Auckland

  9. Doug Stuart 9

    you lost national won get over it

    • Clemgeopin 9.1

      More than us, it is New Zealand that lost in many more ways than one when National won. Think about it.

      • Aerobubble 9.1.1

        National won by not having to compete. The nonsense the media ran after crushed much of the debate. Government need mandates, if they arrogantly assume many frustrated voters gave them a vote, on the basis better the party they know, then Key is in for a ruff time. Key downer. Key flaws are now recognizable. Worn out Key, useless and locked out.

    • One Anonymous Bloke 9.2

      Winning an election makes hiding from Parliamentary scrutiny ok, does it Doug?

      Scraping the bottom of the barrel much?

    • Colonial Rawshark 9.3

      Very few of National’s policies have any electoral mandate as they did not campaign on them.

    • seeker 9.4

      Decent New Zealanders lost, national just won in usual tricky, smeary way, will never get over it until national defested.

      • Clemgeopin 9.4.1

        until national defested
        Yep, that too.

        • seeker

          oops meant to be defeated, but you’re right Clem my typo strangely works. Nats being an infestation is just how I felt about this govt. when I saw them bluely blanketing Parliament this week.

        • greywarshark

          ‘defested’ that is a very good word for NZs political situation now – just invented by seeker?

          I have found it on google but only at Urban dictionary which used it in an explanation of another usage:
          It was probably supposed to be a faster paced and fun battleground, but more often than not it ends up as a flag humping contest, with people ignoring the objectives and mindlessly running to the flag, which results in bullshit and defest.

          Anything else shown for it seems actually to be a mistake of recognition of an old font which has more flourishes or whatever its called in serif and non-serif etc, and the word actually is defeated.

          • Clemgeopin

            Nigeria claims to be defested of Ebola now. Cool bananas.
            Obama handled, kissed and hugged an Ebola defested patient today. Good for him…Hope so, anyway!

    • Andrea 9.5

      “you lost national”

      Well, I didn’t.


      if you have – try looking in a few corporate hip pockets.

      And, if you draw a blank there…

      there are always plenty of ‘special interest’ groups to ask.

      Just not

      ‘hard working New Zealanders’ – nothing but empty wallets in their back pockets.


      Sort of.

  10. Jrobin 10

    John Key the empty signifier, the archetypal Hollow Man, or is that Hollow Lizard.

  11. greywarshark 11

    I was interested in investigating thisfrom grumpyskilstin’s comment.
    New Zealand mothers kill more children than any other group in society and men are victims of domestic violence as often as women, a police investigation has found.
    The Family Violence Death Review, released today by police, found mothers were responsible for 45 per cent of children killed by domestic violence.

    Also, Mr McCroskie Family First national director commented in a way that pointed the figure at women in a direct and rather hostile way and the whole item seems mother-unfriendly.. Which isn’t helpful to looking at the matter of family violence and who gets hurt and who dies.

    And about the police report on reviews completed by them, these did not cover all family violence deaths over the years in question. It is a selective sample of the deaths.

    I looked at the Family Violence death report to check the actual reported facts.
    In this report from the Family Violence Death Review Committee for December 2011-December 2012 they give thorough statistics.

    It is shocking to read that there were 94,000 family violence incidents in 2011. Yet the estimate is that only 18-20% are reported to police. So the deaths are the tip of the iceberg.

    On whether more women than men kill children it shows similar rates:
    In the year reviewed in the Child Abuse and Neglect death cases 50% (9) were killed by men and 44% (8) were killed by women. (Table 7).

    In Figure 9 the highest number of child deaths is 4 per 100,000 for under age one, falling to 2.2 by age five. Mental health issues were mentioned as important aspects leading to events.
    So if mothers could get more help during this time the abuse and death rates could be cut substantially. They are the ones most involved with them. and feel the stress and demands for the baby’s needs alone. It can be very hard and dispiriting, and sleep deprivation can have a harsh effect.

    Among IPV (Intimate Partner Violence) deaths, there were more female victims (69%) than male (31%).
    Males were significantly more often perpetrators (76 percent) of IPV than females (Table 7; Figures 7 and 8).

    In total family violence deaths, 47 perpetrators (66 percent) were male and 21 perpetrators (30 percent) were female. This difference in the gender of perpetrators was statistically significant (Table 7; Figure 8)

    Though there was this note, that the stats are influenced by the range of deaths and other people involved.
    For the family violence deaths that occurred during 2009 and 2010, there was no significant difference in the gender of victims of family violence death overall, although gender ratio did vary by category of death (Figure 7). (ie whether rated as Child Abuse & Neglect CAN, Intimate Partner Violence IPV, or Other which involves other members of the family, and there are some that are outside the strict Family guidelines, involving outsiders.)

    The 78 family violence and family violence related death events in 2009 and 2010 were associated with 91 deaths (see Figures 1 and 2). Of these 91 deaths, 19 fall outside the FVDRC terms of reference.
    These 19 deaths are primarily perpetrator suicides, but there are also suicide pacts, bystander deaths and intervener deaths.

    It is a fraught area of social work. The interplay of relationships within the family and with outsiders, with ex partners, and sometimes murder and suicide acts cause much trauma. This continues after the event, and it is recommended in the report that there be ongoing work with the families left.

    The families involved in family violence deaths show a higher rate for Maori perpetrators per 100,000 at 2,13, for Pacific Islanders 1.09 and for other all others is 0.50 -Table 6

    Note to Table 8. on Age P.42
    There were 22 child victims under 20 years of age, and 50 adult victims (Table 8). Five child victims were under one year of age, and 16 under five years of age.

    Perpetrators were more often in the age band from 20 to 39 years compared to younger or older age categories (Table 9, Figure 10)
    I noticed that nearly all of the partners involved in a death had criminal convictions of some sort.

    McCroskie made a valid point to take note of.
    If we’re really serious about reducing family violence, we need to talk about … our violent culture and the role alcohol and drugs play in fuelling this environment.”

    And University of Otago Professor David Fergusson had further useful advice although he seems determined to undermine women’s efforts to get more attention to their problems by implying that they are hiding their own propensity for violence.

    “The proper message is that both gender groups have a capacity for domestic violence [and] women probably perpetrate more assaults on children then men do,” Mr Fergusson said…
    The ramifications are a public health system that tends to overlook male victims of domestic violence….One example was White Ribbon Day, which he had been critical of because it focused on female survivors of domestic violence and there was “no comparable day for male victims”.

    “It is those biases which have been built into our system right the way through it, largely from feminist rhetoric that implies that males are always to blame.
    “The bottom line is the importance of public policy being based on evidence.”

    Mr Fergusson said dealing with child abuse “certainly needs to be a lot more of a priority than it’s given”.
    Education should be the cornerstone for parents, particularly to learn how to cope with the stresses associated with a newborn….

    It would be wise to help parents, really offer them a generous hand for the first two years of a child’s life, with a lot of coaching, training for respect for others and values, awhi coupled with education about managing naughtiness (not regarding it as a challenge to their authority or malicious) and take the money out of the prisons account.
    Reduce the punishment period and reduce the cost of this incarceration except for violent offenders and serious recidivists.

    This is something that should come at the top of social development, working with parents and turning the lives of people stuck at the bottom around.

    • Tracey 11.1

      we dont like to really help. our society prefers blame and punish. i think it helps many to remain falsely smug about their own lives. ..

  12. Aerobubble 12

    Key the complaint against media privacy invasion.
    Key trust owner fifty thousand.

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