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Get a shave mate, you’re the PM

Written By: - Date published: 4:18 pm, June 4th, 2009 - 47 comments
Categories: john key - Tags: , ,

key-looking-raggedIf you saw last night’s One News piece on the Worth fiasco, you might have noticed Key looking particularly haggard. This photo doesn’t really do justice to how crap he actually looked – grey, sallow, a lot of wrinkles and bags under the eyes, and a serious five o’clock shadow.

Johno, if you can’t control your caucus, can’t really hack the pace, or learn to speak properly (at yesterday’s press conference Key said “What I can say is, irrelevant of what may occur, I no longer have confidence in him”)  – the least you can do is have a shave.

You’re looking like shit bro. You already looked worn out at the 3 month mark – now we’re at 6 months into the job and you’re looking like a man on the verge of physical collapse.

Let’s face it Johno, packaging is all you’ve got. Once that slips people will really start looking for the substance and we both know even you can’t afford to let that to happen. It’s obvious you’re no Clark when it comes to stamina so you’ll really need to look after yourself better if you want to last the distance.

47 comments on “Get a shave mate, you’re the PM”

  1. Tom Semmens 1

    He quite often looks tired when he is under pressure.

  2. Tim Ellis 2

    It was evident on Tuesday that the PM had a cold.

    Sprout, did you have the same concerns when Helen Clark looked under the weather? Why is it fair to discuss Mr Key’s appearance, but not Helen Clark’s?

    • Pascal's bookie 2.1

      “It was evident on Tuesday that the PM had a cold.”

      You are one creepy guy Tim.

    • doc whose asking 2.2

      Tim, serious question..

      is this apparent obsession of yours with what is past your attempt to be relevant on this blog…

      Helen Clark is UN so far as I know, and so the “irrelevance” of which the PM speaks in the blog above is pertinent.. what is past is past… better is now..

      well that was the assertion… or promise.. or something..

      Time for real time… yes?

    • Sorry Iprent,

      happy birthday and all that (and by the way I’m three years older than you and admire your niece R. immensely) but TE.you’re such a wanker.

      Captha: the thinning. LOL

    • Tim

      Helen was a machine.

      She always knew what all of her ministers were doing. For instance she would have known about who was on the list to be appointed to the Children’s commission,. and would have indicated a view on who should be appointed. She would not have been blindsided by a Rankin type appointment days after the event.

      Her knowledge of which person was on which board was amazing.

      She was never tardy. She knew most ministers’ portfolios better than they did.

      She was gracious and generous. And she was always on top of the job.

      There is no comparison between this current pretender and Helen.

      • Tim Ellis 2.4.1

        Micky, I’m sorry, but when a post is not about John Key’s performance, but how he looks (when he’s got a cold), I think it’s relevant to point out the hysteria that the Left had whenever somebody mentioned Helen Clark’s appearance, even when she wasn’t ill.

        I see even making that point has brought out all sorts of rage.

        This post is not about how much in control Mr Key is of his job as Prime Minister. It is entirely about his appearance. The very people who are outraged that some made fun of Helen Clark’s appearance when she was well are quite happy to make fun of Mr Key’s appearance when he has a cold.

        • Phillips 2.4.1.1

          Tim I don’t know how you put up with these guys. They were willing to put up with Helen for years, and lets just say she wasn’t anywhere near the top 1,000,000 beautiful people in the world. You then get this rediculous post about what Key looks like.

          • felix 2.4.1.1.1

            I don’t know how poor little Timmy puts up with it either, but he does – and he turns up every day, rain or shine, to repeat the latest National Party lines. Dedication to the job I suppose.

            Also, in case you’re as stupid as you seem, the post wasn’t about Key’s “beauty”. It’s about him being under pressure.

      • areyoudrunk 2.4.2

        “She was gracious and generous.”

        Ho ha heh hehe .. best laugh I’ve had for weeks.

  3. Tim makes a valid point. God knows the reaction here if there was any criticism of Saint Helen’s physical appearance.

    I am bemused why contributors here still are trying to discredit Key personally … perhaps the answer is in the polls?

  4. tsmithfield 4

    It will be interesting to see if he gets his picture air-brushed to make himself look 20 years younger like HC used to.

  5. Pat 5

    Geez Sprout. You defend the Greenpeace spokeswoman when she appears on TV with a mustache, but you have a problem with a man having 5 o’clock shadow?

    Please post your rules for facial hair so we can all be better informed.

    • Lanthanide 5.1

      I agree, this is a pretty facile post.

      Now if Key was visibly scruffy, as in several days of beard growth, or untidy hair or anything else obviously unkempt, that’d be another matter.

      But I don’t think having not shaved for an evening interview is worth this kind of post.

  6. toad 6

    I suspect he might have had a red wine or three (bottles, not glasses) on Tuesday night while pondering how to deal with Worth.

  7. Con 7

    As much as I loathe Key, I have to agree with the other comments here. There’s no need to sink to Paul Henry’s level is there? Is this KiwiBlog?

  8. SjS 8

    Seriously, I thought this blog was about politics and debate, not slagging off about how tired the PM looks.

    There is more than enough to talk about with JK’s policies, rather than his looks.

    • Rex Widerstrom 8.1

      What SjS said. An excellent and timely analysis on the complete and utter failure to protect / create jobs (which frankly interests me far more than who Dick was trying to dick (not that that’s not also worthy of comment)) and then this?

      Perhaps it’s an age thing. When you start looking like crap most days (Happy Birthday, Lynn, BTW 😉 ) you cease caring how other people look and are thus able to focus more on what they say and do. And, as SjS points out, it’s not like there’s any shortage of material there right now.

  9. calltoaccount 9

    I think Sprout’s just noting what is happening to Key’s health. Seems like a reasonable point to make. He didn’t front up to Goff at Question Time today. No good.

  10. What are these Texas that the Johnkey is talking about?

  11. Jono 11

    You’re really clutching at straws here. This is below the level of analysis of what you’d expect from somebody like the stupid fat git who was on closeup last night.

  12. Simon 12

    It’s a pity John can’t take a few weeks holiday at his pad in Hawaii…

    He can’t, because if his ministers get too much TV/Radio time fronting on issues, then the people will realise were in an alternate universe ‘Back To the Future’ 1990’s all over again!

  13. rave 13

    Fuck his shave, I don’t care if he never shaves again.
    This little shit is a total wanker. Typical macho histrionics.
    I’m just listening to him bullying Mary on National Radio like she was his little sister. Its all upsetting him and he’s way out of his depth.
    “His confidence is rapidly rescinding!!!??” He says.
    What a whinging miserable illiterate fucker!!

  14. Tigger 14

    Clark was typically slammed by right wing pundits for being ‘masculine’ and ‘ugly’ – no one is calling Key ‘effeminate’ or ‘ugly’ here so it’s actually not the same thing.

  15. Shona 15

    I know this is petty but I love it ! thanks Sprout. After the blowtorch of scrutiny Clarke’s personal life was subjected to and the innuendo about her marriage and sexuality spread by the vile muckrackers of the right; spending taxpayers money to get parliamentary services to do the trawling I reckon this abysmal apology for a Prime Minister deserves every piece of mud thrown at him. And I am not alone in thinking this way. Perhaps he should learn to climb mountains and do a bit of cross country skiing to up his fitness levels, like our former PM, but then she was only a woman.Suck it up wingnuts.

  16. exbrethren 16

    I couldn’t care less if the PM looked as scruffy as Hairy Maclary as long as they did a good job.

  17. Chris G 17

    Good point tigger. The vile things I heard about Clark were far far beyond someone calling her ‘tired’ so get real righties and harden the fuck up.

    I do think this post is stupid and a waste of time all the same.

  18. burt 18

    It is a pity that Key has his mouth closed or we could make comments about his teeth.

    • areyoudrunk 18.1

      He has to keep his mouth closed lest people see the babies he has been gorging on.

  19. IrishBill 19

    I must say that while I am uncomfortable with a post commenting on a person’s appearance one should expect the prime minister to be well groomed, if only out of respect for the position of the head of the nation. Say what you like about Helen’s appearance, she was always well turned out.

  20. gobsmacked 20

    His appearance doesn’t matter. But his demeanour does.

    He’s been rattled lately, and it shows. Key has had the dream run (safe seat, Don moving on, tired third-term government) and never once had to scrap in his political career.

    Now he’s facing a few problems, and the mask slips. He’s tetchy (e.g. the Checkpoint interview just now). He needs to be liked, because that’s his whole schtick, and he reacts badly when he’s not getting the warm fuzzies any more.

    It’s all quite revealing.

  21. RedLogix 21

    In my view, perogative comments about physical attractiveness, are not just bad form, but should really be considered totally out of bounds. But in this respect I can’t help but note, as have a few others, that while the rightwing is pretty good at dishing this sort of crap out, they are very weak at taking it.

    On the other hand it is legitimate to observe a person’s demeanor under pressure. I don’t watch much TV at all (don’t even own one), but I do listen a lot to RNZ… and from this perspective I find it quite interesting how much about a person’s inner state is revealed by their voice.

    From this I get the sense that while John Key is obviously under pressure here, he is also rather embarrassed and humiliated by the affair. Not often do such explicit and current accusations of sexual misconduct arise at the Cabinet level; they are inherently distasteful to deal with. I think anyone can have some sympathy with that.

    Worse still Key has probably realised, too late, that if he had cut Worth loose way back immediately after the Indian affair, or had acted directly on Phil Goff’s private conversation … the whole affair could have been managed proactively, more decisively and with far stress. The warning signs about Worth’s behaviour and judgement were not just there, they had been as many of us on this blog stated ages ago, flashing luridly in garish neon hues for some time.

    • Sausage Fingers 21.1

      Redlogix,

      you mean “pejorative”.

      • RedLogix 21.1.1

        Yikes…mustn’t blog and program at the same time, sumfinks gonna give. That’s a shocker…. tnx.

  22. Brett Dale 22

    Im sure Prime Minister Key will take your advice Sprout.

  23. mike 23

    Love it when the lefties resort to criticising physical appearance – its obvious the worth fiasco has not only left JK untouched but enhanced his mana so what’s left to attack – the way the guy looks when he has the flu.

    Grow up sprout

  24. Ianmac 24

    I was waiting for a roguish boyish smile but it didn’t come. Funny? It seemed to work during the Erection!

  25. felix 25

    It’s fascinating how your little minds work sometimes.

    The post is about how John Key looks like crap because he’s not dealing with the pressure of the job.

    And you guys think that’s the same thing as making fun of someone’s teeth.

    Amazing.

  26. Pixie 26

    Sprout,
    I usually enjoy your posts. But I have to say this one is not your best work. Frankly, criticising John Key for looking tired or for malaproping is a weak premise for a post – especially on The Standard which is characterised by its pithiness. Posts like this one lower the tone and trivialise what ought to be robust political comments.

  27. I think that people should read the post a bit more carefully. It is about Key being under pressure and looking harassed.

    It is not about his looks per se.

    He no longer looks the part and this is a danger because IMHO he was never up to the job anyway but just looked like he was. If he no longer even looks the part then the nats are in big trouble.

  28. Rex Widerstrom 28

    There are 43 comments on this post about nothing, from lefties and righties alike.

    And five on the previous post about National’s failure to support training at a time in the economic cycle when people would be happy to learn (or re-learn) skills in return for a training wage, thus readying us for the next up-turn. And one of those 5 is a correction from r0b.

    And thus does the blogosphere follow the same path as the MSM…

    • Rex

      Yeah I acknowledge that things are a bit unusual.

      The left took a hammering in the last election and it could have been even worse if the activists did not put in a huge effort. And we have had to put up with wonderful John Key for a while when we could see that the emperor had no clothes and did not intend to do what he said he would.

      The first few months were comprised of rearguard actions to try and stop the right wing onslaught.

      And then suddenly the wheels have come off this government with a clang. Melissa Lee and her thoughts of the link between crime and motorways, Bennett and Rankin, Worth before and now this! And Goff looks wonderful. He did that unpolitical thing of having a quiet word to try and sort out a problem and Key did not have the nous to accept the gift that Goff presented.

      So I guess we are a bit excited. The Mount Albert byelection looks a lot better and the next election looks pretty good as well.

      Forgive us our excitement.

      Next week I am sure that we will all do the lefty thing and get deeply immersed into policy debates.

  29. The Voice of Reason 29

    Nothing wrong with the post, Sprout. Watched Key on the telly tonight at a social event. The sound was off so I was Iiterally only able to see how he looked. No aural context, no speech, just his face.

    Fascinating stuff. He looked old; frowning, down at the mouth. Perplexed in a way I associate with Bush Jnr. Confused at times and sometimes angry? Not the look I normally associate with blokes with 50 million bones in the bank. What on earth could be worrying him so?

  30. George D 30

    I’ve commented on MPs who look worn out before, from multiple parties. It’s a legitimate comment about their abilities. That said, this post is pretty thin.

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