web analytics

Imperator Fish: On that restaurant guy’s bid for mayor

Written By: - Date published: 7:30 am, March 2nd, 2016 - 19 comments
Categories: phil goff, Satire, the praiseworthy and the pitiful, you couldn't make this shit up - Tags:

Reprinted with permission from Imperator Fish.

It’s hard to know what John Palino was thinking when he decided to throw his hat into the ring and try once again for the Auckland mayoralty. I heard someone describe Monday’s campaign launch as a train-wreck, but I don’t think that’s at all accurate. The launch was such a disaster that I don’t think you could say the train even left the station.

Never mind that there are already two declared centre-right candidates, even if one is a nobody and the other doesn’t seem to understand that being mayor isn’t at all like being the CEO of a company. There’s also only so many times this blogger can hear someone talk about how “passionate” they are about Auckland before his bloodlust rises and he finally commences his long-delayed reaping.

So where does John Palino fit in here? Could he be just what the Super City needs? His plan to cut rates by 10% sounds like magical thinking, but maybe we all need a little bit of magic. Although why stop there? Why not 11%?

He is also promising a campaign that focuses on the issues, which will be why he is using Simon Lusk to run his campaign, Carrick Graham to do media and PR, and Cameron Slater to organise interviews. Given the track record of these gentlemen, it seems pretty clear what the issues will be: dishing the dirt, and then expressing shock and outrage when people challenge him on his team’s behaviour.

Or am I being unfair to Palino? Could he in fact be the victim here? The target of a savage smear campaign? I suppose it’s possible Palino didn’t have a clue what others in his campaign team were up to during the 2013 campaign, and is the victim of an ongoing and sophisticated campaign to shred his credibility. But let’s think that one through. This is a guy who wants to be put in charge of the most populous and economically important region in the country, and by his own admission he couldn’t even control the people in his small team. Didn’t have a clue what they were up to, apparently. Not the faintest idea. We should cut John Palino some slack for being unworldly and naïve, for being a nice guy without the faintest idea how to manage a team. Sure, John, of course we’ll give you control of a multi-billion-dollar organisation that directly impacts the lives of hundreds of thousands of people. What could go wrong?

So, anyway, let’s look at John Palino’s qualifications for office. He probably knows how to make a nice flat white. He can really shout when he gets worked up. He has nice hair. He had a TV show where he went into failing restaurants and cafes and tried to turn them around. He wears shoes. He has a house. And ears. He probably has a car, and a TV set, and a microwave oven. Oh, and he’s apparently a successful restaurateur, although I’m not sure that’s any more relevant than the other things I’ve just mentioned. He’d probably be good at running a restaurant business, but sadly for Palino the Auckland Council is not a restaurant. Maybe he could organise their catering.

But there you go, I’m being mean to Palino again. Maybe he’d do a good job, but I haven’t the faintest idea what he stands for or why he would do a better job than someone like Phil Goff who is a political insider, knows everyone, and is well connected. On the other hand, if you happen to think that what Auckland doesn’t need is another career politician in charge, then John Palino could be just the ticket. A rich outsider making extravagant promises he can’t hope to keep and saying things no-one believes to be true. Where have we heard that before? It sounds strangely familiar.

Maybe Palino’s next policy announcement will be building a wall across the Bombay Hills to keep all the dirty Waikato people out of our wonderful city.

19 comments on “Imperator Fish: On that restaurant guy’s bid for mayor ”

  1. Incognito 1

    Over-Inflated Ego Syndrome.

    Undoubtedly Dr Hooton will provide his diagnosis tout suite.

  2. pat 2

    with the flag referendum to begin perhaps this is all a distraction from the distraction?

  3. Penny Bright 3

    In my view – this 2016 Auckland Mayoral campaign is becoming like the ‘Wild West’!

    (A lot like this Auckland ‘Supercity’ – for the 1%?)

    Is the strategy perhaps – for John Palino to strategically withdraw his candidacy at a later stage?

    There are currently, in my view, now six Auckland Mayoral candidates who support the pro-corporate Auckland Supercity (for the 1%).

    DON’T SPLIT THE VOTE is electoral politics 101.

    So what is really going on behind the scenes with this John Palino Mayoral bid – especially given those key people who are involved?

    What has John Palino done for the public of Auckland since the last time he stood as an Auckland Mayoral candidate?

    Did you know that on the recent NBR poll asking who subscribers supported as a ‘centre-right’ candidate, Phil Goff polled second, closely behind Victoria Crone?

    Just asking … nicely.

    Penny Bright
    2016 Auckland Mayoral candidate.

    (Who does NOT support the TPPA, road tolls, PPPs or the sale of Auckland assets – starting with the Remuera Golf Course.)

    • Grindlebottom 3.1

      (Who does NOT support the TPPA, road tolls, PPPs or the sale of Auckland assets – starting with the Remuera Golf Course.)

      Upper Hutt City Council?

  4. Stuart Munro 4

    Seriously, a yank representing Auckland? He must be the biggest carpet-bagger since de Thierry.

  5. gsays 5

    We have our own Donald trump!

    What with the obfuscation, the answering a different question to the one that was asked and the accent- the similarity is incredible.

    • Jenny Kirk 5.1

      + 100%

    • Rodel 5.2

      Saw this faux angry American on TV trying to emulate Trump. I was waiting for him to say,”I’m gonna make Okland great again!”

    • miravox 5.3

      “We have our own Donald trump!”

      Our own Donald Drumpf is sitting in the 9th floor of the beehive occasionally.

      Palino is just a pretender.

  6. saveNZ 6

    Sadly Auckland’s have little choice. All the candidates bar Penny are right wing and into asset sales or privatisation.

    It is like the General election options of Neoliberal 1, Neoliberal Lite 2, or crash property option 3 or the left fledging party that the others all spend most of their time and energy crushing, or the 2 centre right conservative fledging parties that the others spend all their time and energy crushing. Or the collaborators with Neoliberal 1.

    However at least there seemed more options in the General Election than the Mayoral candidates.

    If this is democracy it does not feel like it!

    • shorts 6.1

      yeah little choice at all – thinking about local body elections is always depressing, I console myself that at least in my case our local board has good people

      Auckland really does resist change doesn’t it

      • saveNZ 6.1.1

        @Shorts – Auckland wants change and we wanted public transport. We elected Len Brown – a leftie to bring us public transport and keep the public pools open and free.

        Len has been very disappointing, BUT when you look at the mayoral line up now, it’s about to get a lot worse.

        • Penny Bright 6.1.1.1

          You could always join my team Save NZ!

          Well – Bernie Sanders was never supposed to have had a chance 🙂

          And Winston Peters supposedly ‘didn’t have a show’ in the Northland by-election?

          I’m focusing on the 64% who didn’t bother voting in 2013.

          Also will be getting a hand from some Greens, NZ First, Mana and Labour supporters who prefer my stand and proven track record in opposing the TPPA, privatisation and user-charges.

          It’s going to be FUN!

          Kind regards

          Penny Bright
          2016 Auckland Mayoral candidate.

          (Activists – get things done 😉

  7. BLiP 7

    Or am I being unfair to Palino? Could he in fact be the victim here?

    I don’t think the writer is being unfair, but I can’t help but wonder whether Palino is, in fact, a victim. Have sophisticated, personal approach appeals to his ego convinced him that standing for Mayor is a good idea even though every voter in Auckland knows he hasn’t got a chance? The election outcome is, pretty much, a forgone conclusion, but so too is the fact that Simon Lusk, Carrick Graham, and Cameron Slater will be walking away with pockets full of Palino coin.

    • Penny Bright 7.1

      If Cameron Slater, Simon Lusk and Carrick Graham are on the ‘fringes’ of the National Party and business ‘movers and shakers’ – then how much do they arguably really care about their potentially vote-splitting activities in their support for John Palino’s Auckland Mayoral campaign?

      As long as they’re getting paid for their services?

      Or are they doing this ‘pro bono’?

      Just asking, in my view, some arguably fair questions?

      Nicely?

      Penny Bright
      2016 Auckland Mayoral candidate.

      (Activists – get things done…. 😉

  8. ianmac 8

    If they can have the dishonest Trump, why not trump that with Palino for we the gullible?

  9. Penny Bright 9

    How much is John Palino paying Simon Lusk for campaign advice?

    John – you old silly-billy – you could have got it for free!

    Here’s Simon Lusk’s wee book about it:

    “Winning Local Government Campaigns: Part of the Paid to Win Series”

    Thank you Simon!

    Kind regards 🙂

    Penny Bright
    2016 Auckland Mayoral candidate.

    (Activists – get things done 😉

  10. Incognito 10

    Perhaps Palino is also being used as a pawn in a different larger game. The Local Elections will be held on 8th October and next year we will have the General Election. There are about 1.5 million people living in Auckland. Those Key players in DP are masters in disguise & distraction.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • NZ announces a third P-3 deployment in support of UN sanctions
    The Government has deployed a Royal New Zealand Air Force P-3K2 Orion (P-3) maritime patrol aircraft to support the implementation of United Nations Security Council (UNSC) resolutions imposing sanctions against North Korea, announced Minister of Foreign Affairs Winston Peters and Minister of Defence Ron Mark. “New Zealand has long supported ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Pacific trade and development agreement a reality
    Pacific regional trade and development agreement PACER Plus will enter into force in 60 days now that the required eight countries have ratified it. Trade and Export Growth Minister David Parker welcomed the announcement that the Cook Islands is the eighth nation to ratify this landmark agreement. “The agreement represents ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Securing a pipeline of teachers
    The Government is changing its approach to teacher recruitment as COVID-19 travel restrictions continue, by boosting a range of initiatives to get more Kiwis into teaching. “When we came into Government, we were faced with a teacher supply crisis,” Education Minister Chris Hipkins said. “Over the past three years, we ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Border exceptions for a small number of international students with visas
    The Government has established a new category that will allow 250 international PhD and postgraduate students to enter New Zealand and continue their studies, in the latest set of border exceptions. “The health, safety and wellbeing of people in New Zealand remains the Government’s top priority. Tight border restrictions remain ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • First COVID-19 vaccine purchase agreement signed
    The Government has signed an agreement to purchase 1.5 million COVID-19 vaccines – enough for 750,000 people – from Pfizer and BioNTech, subject to the vaccine successfully completing all clinical trials and passing regulatory approvals in New Zealand, say Research, Science and Innovation Minister Megan Woods and Health Minister Chris Hipkins. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • International statement – End-to-end encryption and public safety
    We, the undersigned, support strong encryption, which plays a crucial role in protecting personal data, privacy, intellectual property, trade secrets and cyber security.  It also serves a vital purpose in repressive states to protect journalists, human rights defenders and other vulnerable people, as stated in the 2017 resolution of the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Ministry of Defence Biodefence Assessment released
    The Ministry of Defence has today released a Defence Assessment examining Defence’s role across the spectrum of biological hazards and threats facing New Zealand. Biodefence: Preparing for a New Era of Biological Hazards and Threats looks at how the NZDF supports other agencies’ biodefence activities, and considers the context of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New Approaches to Economic Challenges: Confronting Planetary Emergencies: OECD 9 October 2020
    New Approaches to Economic Challenges: Confronting Planetary Emergencies: OECD 9 October 2020 Hon David Parker’s response following Thomas Piketty and Esther Duflo. Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, wherever in the world you might be. I first acknowledge the excellent thought provoking speeches of Thomas Piketty and Esther ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Kaipara Moana restoration takes next step
    A Memorandum of Understanding has been signed today at Waihāua Marae between the Crown, local iwi and councils to protect, restore and enhance the mauri of Kaipara Moana in Northland. Environment Minister David Parker signed the document on behalf of the Crown along with representatives from Ngā Maunga Whakahī, Ngāti ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New Zealand and Uruguay unite on reducing livestock production emissions
    Agriculture Minister Damien O’Connor and Uruguayan Minister of Livestock, Agriculture and Fisheries Carlos María Uriarte have welcomed the launch of a three-year project that will underpin sustainable livestock production in Uruguay, Argentina, and Costa Rica.  The project called ‘Innovation for pasture management’ is led by Uruguay’s National Institute of Agricultural ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • 3100 jobs created through marae upgrades
    Hundreds of marae throughout the country will be upgraded through investments from the Provincial Growth Fund’s refocused post COVID-19 funding to create jobs and put money into the pockets of local tradespeople and businesses, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones and Māori Development Minister Nanaia Mahuta have announced. “A total ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Health volunteers recognised in annual awards
    Health Minister Chris Hipkins has announced 9 teams and 14 individuals are the recipients of this year’s Minister of Health Volunteer Awards.  “The health volunteer awards celebrate and recognise the thousands of dedicated health sector volunteers who give many hours of their time to help other New Zealanders,” Mr Hipkins ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Community COVID-19 Fund supports Pacific recovery
    The Minister for Pacific Peoples, Aupito William Sio says a total of 264 groups and individuals have successfully applied for the Pacific Aotearoa Community COVID-19 Recovery Fund, that will support Pacific communities drive their own COVID-19 recovery strategies, initiatives, and actions. “I am keen to see this Fund support Pacific ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Community benefits from Māori apprenticeships
    Up to 50 Māori apprentices in Wellington will receive paid training to build houses for their local communities, thanks to a $2.75 million investment from the Māori Trades and Training Fund, announced Employment Minister Willie Jackson today. “This funding will enable Ngāti Toa Rangatira Incorporated to provide its Ngā Kaimahi ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Training fund supports Māori jobseekers
    Rapidly growing sectors will benefit from a $990,000 Māori Trades and Training Fund investment which will see Wellington jobseekers supported into work, announced Employment Minister Willie Jackson today. “This funding will enable Sapphire Consultants Ltd. to help up to 45 Māori jobseekers into paid training initiatives over two years through ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Ruakura Inland Port development vital infrastructure for Waikato
    The Government is investing $40 million to develop an inland port at Ruakura which will become a freight super-hub and a future business, research and residential development for the Waikato, Urban Development and Transport Minister Phil Twyford, and Māori Development Minister Nanaia Mahuta announced today. The funding has been has ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Appointments made to Defence Expert Review Group
    Defence Minister Ron Mark announced today the establishment of an Expert Review Group to review a number of aspects of the New Zealand Defence Force’s (NZDF) structure, information management and record-keeping processes.  The Expert Review Group’s work arises out of the first recommendation from the Report of the Government’s Inquiry ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • No active community cases of COVID-19
    There are no active community cases of COVID-19 remaining in the country after the last people from the recent outbreak have recovered from the virus, Health Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “This is a big milestone. New Zealanders have once again through their collective actions squashed the virus. The systems ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Clean energy upgrade for more public buildings
    More public buildings will be supported by the Government to upgrade to run on clean energy, the Minister for Climate Change James Shaw announced today. Minister Shaw announced that Lincoln and Auckland universities will receive support through the Clean-Powered Public Service Fund to replace fossil fuel boilers. Southern, Taranaki, and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Schools back donations scheme for the second year
    More schools have opted in to the donations scheme for 2021, compared to 2020 when the scheme was introduced. “The families of more than 447,000 students will be better off next year, with 94% of eligible schools and kura opting into the scheme,” Education Minister Chris Hipkins said. “This is ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Ruapehu cycle trails gets PGF boost
    The spectacular Mountains to Sea cycle trail in Ruapehu District will receive $4.6 million in funding from the Provincial Growth Fund for two additional trails, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones announced today. “This is an exciting development for the local community, and one that will provide significant economic opportunities ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Update to air border order strengthens crew requirements
    Additional measures coming into effect on Monday will boost our defence against COVID-19 entering New Zealand through the air border, Health Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “As part of our precautionary approach and strategy of constant review, we’re tightening the requirements around international aircrew,” Chris Hipkins said. The COVID-19 Public ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • A true picture of Māori business activity
    A better picture of the contribution Māori businesses make to the economy will be possible with changes to the way information is collected about companies and trading enterprises. Māori Development Minister Nanaia Mahuta and Small Business Minister Stuart Nash have announced a new option for Māori enterprises who are part ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • PGF funding for Taranaki projects
    The South Taranaki museum, a New Plymouth distillery and a Pasifika building firm will benefit from a Government investment totalling more than $1 million, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones says. The $1.05m in grants and loans from the Provincial Growth Fund (PGF) will help the recipients expand and create ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Fijian Language Week 2020 inspires courage and strength during COVID-19 pandemic
    The Minister for Pacific Peoples, Aupito William Sio says the theme for the 2020 Fijian Language Week reflects the strong belief by Fijians that their language and culture inspires courage and strength that is strongly needed in times of emergencies, or through a significant challenge like the global COVID-19 pandemic ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Trades training builds on iwi aspirations
    An investment of $2.025 million from the Māori Trades and Training Fund will support Māori to learn new skills while making a positive difference for their communities, announced Employment Minister Willie Jackson today. “K3 Development Limited Partnership will receive $2,025,000 for its Takitimu Tuanui apprenticeship programme, which will support the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Conservation Minister plants two millionth tree in Raglan restoration
    A long-term conservation project led by the Whaingaroa Harbour Care group in the western Waikato reaches a significant milestone this week, with the planting of the two millionth tree by the Minister of Conservation Eugenie Sage. “Planting the two millionth tree crowns 25 years of commitment and partnership involving Whaingaroa ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Seniors – our parents and grandparents
    International Older Persons Day is a chance to think about the individual older New Zealanders we know and to confront ageism, Seniors Minister Tracey Martin said today. “What happened around COVID-19 is a reminder that our over-65s are a very large and diverse group of people and we need to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago