Joyce resigns from Parliament

Written By: - Date published: 1:53 pm, March 6th, 2018 - 204 comments
Categories: Politics, Steven Joyce - Tags:

In breaking news Steven Joyce is resigning from Parliament and going back to commercial life. Makes you wonder why he had to threaten the NBR with defamation proceedings and why he contested the National Party leadership.

204 comments on “Joyce resigns from Parliament”

  1. Carolyn_Nth 1

    http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/PA1803/S00055/joyce-to-retire-from-parliament.htm

    “Personal highlights of my time in office include setting up major infrastructure projects like ultrafast broadband, the major motorway and expressway projects now coming on stream, and the electrification of Auckland’s commuter rail network.

    “I have also enjoyed my involvement in the tertiary education sector, the hi-tech sector, the science sector and regional New Zealand and am proud of the progress we made as a Government in all four areas.

    LOL

    Wasn’t electrification started by the previous Labour government? Roads to nowhere?!

    The regions in decline under National. Tertiary sector as more than vocational training and for encouraging critical thinking – in decline. Science – underfunded?

    • mickysavage 1.1

      Yep sure was and the broadband initiative. Apart from some crazy motorway projects there is not much Joyce can claim credit for.

      • Much like J Key.

        There will not be much these two will be remembered for in the future apart from
        Twidledee and Twidledum.

        Brownlee, Smith, cant be far behind.

        • Wensleydale 1.1.1.1

          You’ll need a crowbar and some Vaseline to prise Nick Smith from his comfy chair in the Beehive. As a walking litany of failure, what would he do with himself if he wasn’t ruining the nation for future generations?

      • Keepcalmcarryon 1.1.2

        Happily, history will remember him as the guy that assaulted a sex toy with his face, he has achieved nothing else of significance.
        It’s glorious.

        • WILD KATIPO 1.1.2.1

          L0L !

          Except for being the manipulator of the media , and displacing John Campbell by using his media contacts , – and particularly so when the continued inquiry’s surrounding Kim Dotcom became too embarrassing…

          I guess the XKEYSCORE surveillance hot potato among just one too many other things from a long historical list just got too hot to handle for Key and Joyce , and sooner or later they exited.

          In Joyces case, with a little help from a dear fellow far right wing nut job called Hooton.

          With Key , in typical fashion , he simply slimed out, – with Joyce, – he tried one last gasp at the bully boy tactic.

          It failed.

          But bad bastards have a way of ensuring their own ignominious ends given enough time…

          • eco maori 1.1.2.1.1

            + 10000 WILD KATIPO It gives ECO MAORI a sore face to see these people who only back the 00.1% of New Zealand and rip off the 99.9% of he tangata leave get kicked out of Parliament .
            ANA TO KAI

            • eco maori 1.1.2.1.1.1

              dick smith from Nelson has been keeping a low profile of late he dosen’t want to lose his gravy train he should leave get kicked out of Parliament next
              ANA TO KAI ka kite ano

      • Matthew Whitehead 1.1.3

        I dunno, he can claim credit for the National Party getting sued by Eminem. 😀

    • He may have enjoyed his involvement in the tertiary education sector, but the sector sure as fuck didn’t.

      • Tracey 1.2.1

        Gold

      • SpaceMonkey 1.2.2

        The focus for Joyce was all about how education contributes to the economy. It had no other purpose than that. The idea of education as a means for the all round betterment and empowerment of humans being was completely lost on him. Youth Guarantee and Vocational Pathways were two education initiatives that, although fronted by the Minister of Education (then Parata), had Joyce’s grubby handprints all over them.

        • WILD KATIPO 1.2.2.1

          Wasn’t it Joyce who wanted everyone studying to qualify as engineers or some other such ‘ practical’ service industry jobs and discouraged academic / arts / culture / history ?

          Or was that just the overall general Philistine mentality of the neo liberal desire to create a servile working class?

          • SpaceMonkey 1.2.2.1.1

            Yep. But it’s both… Joyce personified the shitty neoliberal attitude toward education.

    • Tracey 1.3

      Tertiary is fucked. He didnt mention he was proud of Christchurch like Key and English… perhaps he accepts EQC repairs have been a rort

  2. mickysavage 2

    Makes you wonder if the reshuffle was not going to be to Joyce’s liking.

    • Cinny 2.1

      + 100%

    • cleangreen 2.2

      Yes Mickey;

      It wouldn’t have taken much to unhinge this “loose cannon as we saw this in Napier in 2011 when our committee sat and discussed the rail to Gisborne with him and he was very abrupt that day as we saw, as he was surrounded by bodyguards that day to so he must have been feeling the anger from the community then as he was against rail and only interested in building more and more roads the bloody fool he was.

      Now we can hopefully start rebuilding our neglected run down regional rail services again to lower the trucks killing us all on our narrow windy single lane roads.

  3. Now he has lost his Key/English power base he has decided he can make more

    disruptive mischief outside Parliament than in.

    A very sly, unpleasant, ruthless and dangerous man.

    • greywarshark 3.1

      Perhaps he can get a position in the USA or Brit working for or with Text Crosby or whatever their name is or was.

      He would fit in with that crowd so hard to pin down disappearing behind the scenes, like the grinning teeth on the Cheshire Cat.

      • ianmac 3.1.1

        Steven Cheshire Joyce Mastermind. So True Greywarshark.
        “Trust me,” he said with a sly smirk.

      • OncewasTim 3.1.2

        I was picking some cushy number at Xero.
        Drury probably wants to distance himself though. Ya never know though amongst the inherently arrogant self-serving class.

    • patricia bremner 3.2

      I agree.

      • greywarshark 3.2.1

        Right at the end of that clip the cat folds its paws and says it doesn’t have anything to do with politics. I thought it was a lucky find for the post.

  4. paul andersen 4

    so he didnt get the high chair last week, throws toys out of cot this week. commitment to the voters…nah

    • infused 4.1

      A family member knows him. He wanted to quit last election, but was asked to stay on. He was only going to stay for this one if he won, as like I said, he already wanted out.

      Politics is a shitty place.

      • Tracey 4.1.1

        Like a few of them if he isnt in power he aint interested.

        • infused 4.1.1.1

          Try being in politics and see how long you last. Once you get in and see how dirty it actually is (your side is no better), then I guarantee you wouldn’t want to stay there long either.

        • alwyn 4.1.1.2

          You can’t trust anyone in a centre right party to complete their term in the service of the public can you?

          No member of a leftish party would ever do anything like that. If elected to Parliament they would of course stay until the next election.

          Look at this great list of patriots. Stayed until the end of the Parliamentary term before they quit.
          Helen Clark
          Michael Cullen
          Winnie Laban
          Darren Hughes
          Sue Bradford
          Jeanette Fitzsimons
          Charles Chauvel
          Lianne Dalziel
          Phil Goff
          David Shearer
          David Cunliffe
          Russel Norman
          Kevin Hague

          Not for them to just quit before their term was up.
          Er…..Um…..Er…..Um.

          • cleangreen 4.1.1.2.1

            Spin spin spin spin all the time you do Alwyn, – just like a “jack in the box” clown.

            So sorry you are so very sad your mate Steven Joyce has gone now; so’ hooray’
            “god is truly great!!!!!!”

            • alwyn 4.1.1.2.1.1

              He’s hardly a “mate” as you put it old chap and I’m certainly not sorry about it. Politicians are seldom missed. Look at that Turei woman the Green Party had. I wonder if she has repaid the money she pinched?

              I’ve never met Joyce although he always seemed quite a reasonable person when he was interviewed. Good politicians always do of course.

              I’ve only met a few of the people in the current Parliament in recent times. Of them there were only a few who interested me.
              They were Shaw, Robertson and Hipkins.
              How could any Party be so stupid as to put them into senior roles and what have the people of New Zealand done so badly to be cursed with that lot?

              • … ‘ I’ve never met Joyce although he always seemed quite a reasonable person when he was interviewed. Good politicians always do of course ‘…

                Oh get off the grass and stop playing with it , Alwyn.

                What are you ? … some kind of ingratiating sycophant?

                Did you see the twit when he was interviewed along with Grant Robertson?

                The man was a national embarrassment and a sole advertisement on how to be a total moronic jizzer whilst at the same time managing to be an MP in parliament. For the duration of that interview he giggled loudly and inanely , bellowed over everyone including the host and generally made himself look like the rear end of ass.

                No wonder he got a dildo thrown at him.

                But the worst was yet to come with his less than humorous behind the scenes manipulation of his media contacts. Thats when the real viciousness of the bastard came to light in manipulating the newsmedia for the good part of 9 years.

                Come on mate , – do you really take us all for a bunch of naive gullible 12 year old’s?!!?

                Get a grip on it , mate !

                John Oliver: Steven Joyce’s #DildoGate – YouTube
                john oliver stephen joyce▶ 4:43

                • alwyn

                  Even if your comments are accurate, and I wouldn’t really trust the opinion of someone who seems to accept John Oliver’s views as Holy Writ, it doesn’t conflict in any way with what I said.
                  Good politicians always come across as sympathetic in interviews. It is only the incompetent ones who come across badly.
                  Key came across as likeable. English seemed competent. Ardern comes across as pleasant and likeable.
                  It is only the incompetent ones like Little, at least when in Opposition, who come across as being unpleasant.

        • Incognito 4.1.1.3

          For some it is all or nothing. Contrast this with Andrew Little and the difference is day & night.

      • Keepcalmcarryon 4.1.2

        Becoming a bare faced 11 billion dollar liar is still a choice. What a scumbag.

      • tracey 4.1.3

        I know how dirty politics is. Even before Dirty Politics and Hollow Men.

        Joyce is no shrinking violet and you attempting to paint him as one is almost funny. He is leaving cos he wont have the power he wants and he doesnt like the new leadership. It is still all about him and those few elite serves. He has been knee deep in double dealing and deception since first becoming National’s strategist and tgen entering parliament once he knew he would be in govt and in high profile portfolios. Live by the dirt die by the dirt.

        As for the other side being exactly as dirty. So far there is no proof they are any where as dirty as the Nats and their lackies and selective donors. Cos if they were we would know it.

        Has it escaped your notice that he knows the owner of NBR from his radio days and when Joyce didnt like something said about him NBR pulled it and its author?

        Joyce doesnt need your or my sympathy but it is great that some on the Right are seemingly starting to realise Dirty Politics was factual.

      • mike appleby 4.1.4

        Just like his Mate John ‘Pony tail ‘ key – only in it if he’s a ‘
        winner’ and fucks off back to the business world if he doesn’t get the top job. Public service NOT.

    • james 4.2

      Its not a matter of commitment to voters – and to say that is just bitterness.

      You would not have said that about Helen Clark (who walked away from a fresh win in her electoral seat).

      I assume you didnt say that about Metiria Turei – walking away (regardless of the issues at the time) not long before the election.

      • tracey 4.2.1

        Turei resigned co leadership but stood for re election. Clark left after a LONG time in Govt and Opposition and she left to be head of Refugee (?) stuff at the UN.

        Joyce has gone after not getting Leadership and apparently not keeping Finance.

        Your analogy is flawed.

        • james 4.2.1.1

          Ill agree that the Turei one is – well wrong. Thank you.

          But Clarke resigned on the night having stood for election and failed to win what she wanted – the PM role.

          given that I was replying to “”so he didnt get the high chair last week, throws toys out of cot this week. commitment to the voters…nah”

          Then the Clark analogy isnt flawed.

          Im not saying what she did was wrong, or even bad. But it does seem stupid people calling out someone saying that it shows a lack of commitment to voters.

          • red-blooded 4.2.1.1.1

            Clark resigned as LP leader after the 08 election, but stayed on in parliament until mid 2009, only leaving when she was offered the position as Head of the UN Development Programme.

            • veutoviper 4.2.1.1.1.1

              Thanks red-blooded for your comment. A lot better informed than she left ” to be head of Refugee (?) stuff at the UN” as per 4.2.1.

            • alwyn 4.2.1.1.1.2

              “offered the position as Head of the UN Development Programme.”.
              Well that is one way of putting it I suppose.
              She spent the entire period from the election until she went to New York campaigning for the job. Any time spent in Wellington was simply the interval between her campaign trips around Countries overseas.
              She certainly wasn’t giving up her position at the trough until she had another trough to feed at. Just like Phil Goff of course who didn’t give up his Parliamentary pay and perks while he campaigned for the Auckland Mayoralty.
              Joyce is going because he can’t see any future in the job. He hasn’t got anything lined up apparently. Mind you he was pretty successful in his pre-Parliamentary days.

          • paul andersen 4.2.1.1.2

            you are quite wrong james as redblooded points out in the next post. I dont expect you to apologise for the stupid person crack, because that would mean I expect a commitment to decent behaviour from you. as a sycophant to people like joyce, I realise that decent behaviour is probably beyond you…..you probably belong on sites like oilywhale where disgusting posts and juvenile behaviour is expected and encouraged. go back home…..

      • mike appleby 4.2.2

        Yes it’s exactly what it’s all about. Joyce and Key are fucking right off back to the private business world where they came from. They never had an ounce of genuine public service – fly in fly out – except to further their ego/power urges and fulfilling job of putting a nice face to right wingers ideology – tax cuts…

        key is bloody lucky he didn’t have the Pony tail Pulling now – seriously, norther normal human being would go to a cafe and pull a waitresses hair – and ask yourself what sort of person does do that? a dick head PM. .

    • cleangreen 4.3

      Steven sly Joyce didn’t get the “Sir” either so he only got a big $11.7 billion dollar hole.

  5. silvertuatara 5

    Watch for the possibility of Joyce closer to 2012, either aligning to a centre right fraction or even with ACT in an attempt create a support partner for National….of course he would probably have to sit in a strong National seat and have the National Party do an Epsom type deal for such a scheme to come to fruition.

    Now I wonder what Mr Bridges has in mind for Collin’s, Brownlee, Smith, Finlayson and a few other more established, conservatives, as he tries to modernize National into a more progressive political party in an attempt to build a stronger base of support.

    The news has however brightened up my day some what……and I had been having a great day up until I read the news about Steve’s retirement from the National Party.

    So well done Jacinda, Winston and James it may have taken 10 years for Labour, NZ First and the Greens to start delivering on John Key’s brighter future for all New Zealanders, but the positive changes in New Zealand’s political landscape since you formed the coalition are sewing the seeds of hope that we can live in a more inclusive, relentlessly positive and more balanced society where all New Zealanders benefit more equally.

    • Keepcalmcarryon 5.1

      I’m pretty sure in terms of leadership he’s thinking along these lines:
      “ Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity
      To seize everything you ever wanted
      One moment
      Would you capture it or just let it slip?
      Yo
      His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
      There’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti
      He’s nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
      To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin’
      What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
      He opens his mouth, but the words won’t come out
      He’s chokin’, how, everybody’s jokin’ now
      The clocks run out, times up, over, blaow!
      Snap back to reality, oh there goes gravity
      Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked
      He’s so mad, but he won’t give up that easy? No
      He won’t have it, he knows his whole back city’s ropes
      It don’t matter,
      He’s dope,“

      Just a few lines the party threw together to remember him by.

    • ianmac 5.2

      Bridge named Stuart Smith Kaikoura MP as a possible high position. Another one of those slipped into the seat with sneaky help and intent on forming the more Conservative wing of National. His own Electorate committee are not fond of him. Nor am I.

      • greywarshark 5.2.1

        I thought I had seen Stuart Smith recently.
        https://www.radionz.co.nz/national/programmes/checkpoint/audio/2018634768/national-suggests-eqc-consider-suing-fletcher
        but
        https://www.radionz.co.nz/news/national/351933/eqc-cannot-sue-fletcher-former-fletcher-boss
        Speaking to Checkpoint with John Campbell, Mark Binns [former Fletchers Infrastucture boss] said the EQC was caught out by the massive scale of the Christchurch quakes, and political timeframes on how quickly the work could be done were unrealistic. [Brownlee!!]
        “I would say the expectations were unrealistic,” he said.
        “That’s why we pushed back and said look it’s just impossible to do it within that time period so we went according to the timeframe that we thought we could complete the project in an expeditious but appropriate manner.”

        Mr Binns said some assessments of property damage were done too fast, and by unqualified people.
        He said the EQC indemnified Fletcher’s against any such action, and he would not have signed the contract if they had not.

      • mac1 5.2.2

        Smith has certainly not forged for himself a good name locally. Now his hammer is ringing on his opposition anvil, but he has wrought little and struck few telling blows. He might do a Joyce yet as he realises that his seat might be safe but his time in opposition long and as good for the locals as a White Label Corbans Sauvignon Blanc.

        • greywarshark 5.2.2.1

          Is that grown in Marlborough, our fellow district? If not, certainly not.

          • mac1 5.2.2.1.1

            No, the product comes from Chile or Australia but is sold under a NZ label owned by an international company. You have to look very hard at the back label to find this cheap wine is a total import. In our supermarkets these wines are shelved with NZ sourced and labelled wines. The casual buyer would associate sauvignon blanc with Marlborough, or at least of NZ origin, considering its name, lack of front label information and its shelf placement.

            New Zealand wines are usually front labelled with the country or province of origin. The White Label Corbans are not front-labelled with that information. Customers might not buy a foreign cheapo if they knew that. Whatever the value to the customer, it doesn’t help the province much.

    • greywarshark 5.3

      What year did you have in mind? I think you are right that he will be planning some sort of re-entry. Does he get a golden parachute now? It would be terrible if he had to ask people on the street for a fare, hoping for fair treatment.
      Or if he was to busk what instrument and song would he play?

      • mary_a 5.3.1

        greywarshark (5.3) ….

        The thought of Joyce busking cracked me up. The most appropriate song he could sing would be “I’m just a lonely boy (… lonely and Blue …”) Also as he was Natz’s Mr Fixit, he could play the harmonica and sing at the same time. Could even have a drum attached somewhere to his body with a foot pedal and cymbals between his knees, to give him some healthy exercise while entertaining.

        You know being the clever dick minister of everything and anything he put his hand to, nothing should be impossible for Stevie lad.

        • No Right Turn has this very apt political obituary for Joyce:

          “Fuck up fucks off
          Having failed to attract more than a handful of votes in the National Party leadership contest, Steven Joyce is retiring from politics. Good riddance. While he somehow had a reputation as a “Mr fix-it”, like Gerry Brownlee Joyce fucked almost everything he touched. He fucked up transport by starving the regions of funding to build pointless superhighways in Auckland for the trucking industry. He fucked up science and innovation by stealing funding from CRIs, then making them compete for it all over again as laughably underfunded “national science challenges”. He fucked up tertiary education by limiting access to loans and allowances, creating a teacher shortage which is going to last for years. He fucked up economic development by signing a crony deal with SkyCity allowing them more pokie machines for an undersized and unnecessary convention centre. And he fucked up finance by being memorably unable to count during the election campaign. This isn’t a record any politician should be proud of, and I am glad he’s fucked off, so the only thing he can fuck up anymore is himself.”

          • greywarshark 5.3.1.1.1

            And with Joyce there was that great deal that he did by forgiving a licence fee for some of his pals in the radio and tv business. They were about to fail and he couldn’t let them go cold turkey, the way that capitalism is supposed to.

            Of course it was the governments fault for having licence fees to limit entry, not allowing competition to take us to the lowest common denominator, so low that there has never been a drill long enough to find the depths of where unfettered capitalism would take us. But Joyce was a brave adventurer on that project.

  6. Darien Fenton 6

    The writing was on the wall. Go back and listen to Bridge’s comments about Joyce. “there is a role there blah blah blah ….if he wants it.” I also predict the resignation of Finlayson in short order because he’s a list MP. Others like Brownlee, Smith are harder because a by election will be needed. Next test : who’s replacing Joyce from the list and should we be worried.

    • Tracey 6.1

      Just go to tvnz on demand. The newbies are at the tauranga “conference” denying anyone is leaving, giving their confidence to English

    • Antony Cotton 6.2

      Hi Darien

      Hope you are well Nicola Wills from Wellington Central I think David Carter is List MP as well Finlayson They will be gone soon. Tolley Smith and Brownlee are Electorate MPs

    • greywarshark 6.3

      Brownlee seems to have all the poo-bahs in his Christchurch electorate for him.
      And they can’t move on from the 20th century, can’t cope with a different cathedral, hard for them to vote against him if National put him up again. They are programmed to never leave.

  7. Macro 7

    Oh Dear! How Sad….
    😆😸😂👍😁

  8. Ovid 8

    Who’s next? Gerry Brownlee and Nick Smith?

    • Cinny 8.1

      Noooooooo not nick, he’s an election seat to lose in 2020 and I’m looking forward to it big time.

    • Pat 8.2

      either or both would be welcome

    • mary_a 8.3

      @ Ovid (8) … Natz know only too well it’s too risky for any electorate MP to resign. A resignation will cause a by election, which at present, given the popularity of Jacinda Ardern and Labour, might lose the Natz a seat. Then there’s the point of Natz’s increasing instability …

      Natz not in the best place at the moment. Good.

      • Pat 8.3.1

        National could stand a lobotomised chimp in Ilam and win any by election….maybe not so in Nelson

        • tracey 8.3.1.1

          Exactly

        • Ed1 8.3.1.2

          Not sure about that if Labour / Green / NZ First agree to put up only one candidate. What was the independent that got the 2nd highest vote in the electorate like? Could he be offered a position with one of the parties?

          • Pat 8.3.1.2.1

            If he was he’d likely be a Nat candidate (i may be being a little unfair to him)

      • cleangreen 8.3.2

        Well said MARY-A

        One bad apple makes the whole bunch spoil.

        • WILD KATIPO 8.3.2.1

          L0L , Cleangreen … one by one the scumbags are dropping like fly’s. Fly’s around shite. The shite they created.

          And I can only approach it with glee.

          Having them lose the election was poetic justice enough , but seeing all these scumbags resign amid acrimony is just the icing on the cake.

          It makes me want to sing outdated and cheesy songs…

          Doris Day – Whatever Will Be, Will Be (Que Sera, Sera) (w Children’s …

          And then remember them for the type of shitbags they were… ie Operation Burnham.

          Black Sabbath-War Pigs (set to political footage) – YouTube
          Video for Black Sabbath-War Pigs (set to political footage)▶ 7:58

      • greywarshark 8.3.3

        There is hope for us yet if the Natsz instability continues. Lenin and Stalin statues have found the instability of being tugged off their plinths by people with deep grudges and memories, but it took millions of deaths and economic failures to do so. Let’s hope that we don’t go that way – there are only 4 million of us anyway.

        And hopefully if we can stay the immigration for a while, that can be our limit for a while, the birthrate is dropping. Then we can have a meeting, think, talk have a cup of tea, make sound decisions, implement them, at the same time having other meetings following the same routine.

        Like an old car that is rejuvenated, and comes back with its brass polished, its hooter renewed, and the crankshaft stowed away for emergencies we can do it if we stick to the work! Poop, poop.

  9. Ovid 9

    I googled Nicola Willis, the list MP who will be coming in. Lloyd Burr rates her: http://www.newshub.co.nz/home/politics/2018/02/lloyd-burr-national-s-next-leader-might-not-be-an-mp-yet.html

    • tracey 9.1

      Lloyd Burr who made it his mission to shove his microphone up Turei’s nose for a week? But never looked for Barclay or hunted down English when it was discovered Barclay hadnt worked til the election as Bill promised, who didnt hunt down Key when we found out the operation at dotcoms house was illegal. That Lloyd Burr?

    • DoublePlusGood 9.2

      Did not say anything intelligent during the whole Wellington Central campaign. Just empty buzzwords.

      • tracey 9.2.1

        Cant be true cos Lloyd says she knows how to talk to “ordinary people”.

        • mac1 9.2.1.1

          Wellington Central -ordinary people? Full of civil servants, metros, students. the homeless and hipsters. And craft beer bars! Nobody ordinary there!

          • tracey 9.2.1.1.1

            I think when Lloyd Burr says “ordinary” he means like him or the people he wants to be like

            • mac1 9.2.1.1.1.1

              From the contradictory* gush that Lloyd Burr wrote, I’d say he counted the day he interviewed her one of his lucky ones.

              *”there’s empathy, warmth, and compassion, but also toughness and ruthlessness.”

              *”She was a staffer in Don Brash’s office when John Key rocketed into office. Then she worked for him for five years as a senior advisor. She’s learned from the best.”

              • Hmmm… the best what? I could offer a few suggestions for him…

                • mac1

                  I’d say not much about compassion and empathy from those two but much about ruthlessness and much about corporatism and not much about ordinary people. We’ll see. I hope I’m wrong, especially if she’s destined for higher things as Burr suggests. God knows that we deserve better than her supposed mentors, Brash and Key.

        • patricia bremner 9.2.1.2

          Winston does not rate Lloyd, made that plain at Russell.

    • tracey 9.3

      Quite the Advertorial by Burr.

      John Key is her mentor, and confidant. 

      Gulp.

    • Ad 9.4

      Massive Fonterra plant, to feed rural opposition into Parliament.
      Big Ag’s revolving door does another rotation – watch out Government.

    • greywarshark 9.5

      Ovid
      You usually have good ideas up your sleeve. What are Lloyd Burr’s strengths? Or is he a rellie?

    • Obtrectator 9.6

      Sounds too much like Ruth Richardson rediviva for my liking. Females from that sort of background who’ve joined the Nats are seldom good news.

  10. Tracey 10

    Former Businness Roundtable aka NZ Initiative is in the press again. NBR has restarted Crony Watch which they stop when Nats went into govt in 2008.

    Obviously last 9 years that just went straight to 9th floor to get what they want… now they have to riddle the press with anti facts.

    NZIs first target? Why education of course. Cant have critical thinking problem solvers we need semi literate low wagers to preserve their profits.

    • greywarshark 10.1

      Something coming through from NZ Initiative, oh its an anti-fax with anti-facts.

      (NZ Initiative, fabricating policies for this country as if they were ship builders to the toffs, the prime example – the Titanic, about which there is a conspiracy theory that revolves round a shifty insurance swindle.

      Now in the business of helping the toffs shift and ship money out of NZ, but particularly out of NZ average citizens’ hands.)

  11. Ad 11

    Fuck with Hooten and die is the answer.

    So who is Hooten engaged with to execute with this speed?

    Mickey, I’m not so sure Hooten is worth defending.

  12. mary_a 12

    Two senior Natz pollies resigning in less than a month! Natz is proving to be a really strong, supportive, united team … yeah right!

    Joyce spurned and rejected by his own. He won’t be a happy chappy. Now we wait for him to do some damage to Natz from outside.

    • tracey 12.1

      He wont. They move on to higher paid jobs for far less work and do not bite the hand that fed

      • Ad 12.1.1

        That’s the peculiar thing.

        If Joyce had had something to go to, he would have announced it; similar to Simon Power.
        Out of Parlilament, no support from Bridges for leaving, nothing to go to.

        This is a paid internal hit job with no mercy.

        • tracey 12.1.1.1

          Ah good point.

        • veutoviper 12.1.1.2

          Agree Ad.

          I am just listening to Checkpoint and suspect Brownlee will be next.

          RNZ has obtained (been leaked) the contract between ECQ and Fletchers with full indemnity provisions for Fletchers against claims for shoddy work. Waiting to hear the full details.

          • Pat 12.1.1.2.1

            that thought crossed my mind as well….the timing is (too?) convenient…although the knowledge of its existence and content is years old.

            • mac1 12.1.1.2.1.1

              No one seems to have told ECQ spokesperson for National, MP Stuart Smith, one of Simon Bridges’ anointed, of the contents of that contract and its indemnity provisions.

              Though he says he’s not a lawyer, he advocates taking Fletchers to court.

              It’s his former ministerial colleagues who should be hauled before the court of public opinion.

              • Pat

                so it would seem…i noted that misstep last night….i guess he may have engaged mouth without thought or advice however.

                • mac1

                  You’ve got to try and impress the new leader.

                  Just as Stuart Smith tried to criticise the new government of 120 days for the state of the highway between Blenheim and Christchurch when his government had had 12 months after the Kaikoura earthquake to complete upgrading the road and years prior to that.

                  I never heard him criticise Simon Bridges for ten promised Northland bridges still unbuilt.

                  Meanwhile, one lane bridges on SH1 that needed replacement like the Hurunui Bridge in his electorate were ignored.

                  • Pat

                    well if he was trying to impress I suspect hes failed….unless he was acting under instruction

                    • mac1

                      That (acting under instruction) was his role in government.

                      Ask the patsy questions of his own Minister, or to sit behind his ministerial colleague while he or she was speaking and fill the vacant seating space.

                      Is he a pawn in a move to bring down Brownlee for his incapacity as responsible Minister for earthquake recovery?

                      Because the question will be asked who was the responsible Minister of the Crown who allowed to be signed off the indemnity-provisioned Fletchers’ contract for the flawed and still festering Christchurch rebuild?

                  • Pat

                    thats a question that one M.Hooton could probably answer.

          • Ed1 12.1.1.2.2

            Questions need to be asked as to whether provisions were budgeted gor EQC costs to pay the remedial work that will be needed – or is required funding for EQC part of Joyce’s $10 billion hole he left for Labour? (along with underfunding nearly everywhere else).

  13. Cinny 13

    mr dildo down the roado, to protect his precious ego.

    Not on simons list? Save face and exit fast before it’s released.

    Tell us again mr dildo why you are running away? Spending more time with a family is a politicians preferred excuse.

    • Alan 13.1

      um, because he has done his dash and has the option of going back to the private sector where he will probably be very successful again.
      Most right wing politicians have that option when they leave parliament, the left, not so much

      • Cinny 13.1.1

        “Most right wing politicians have that option when they leave parliament, the left, not so much”

        What a load of rubbish alan

        • alwyn 13.1.1.1

          Which Part of it is rubbish Ginny?
          Can you see Hipkins getting a private sector job anywhere? Or Robertson?
          Kelvin Davis perhaps? Little? Clark? Cullen? King? Norman or Hague do you think.
          The only one I can think of who did do it was David Cunliffe.

          • Cinny 13.1.1.1.1

            It’s a rubbish assumption.

            And alwyn your example is of a few people, if someone presented me with factual data, trends, global stat’s on left/right ex politicians employment/career choices and stat’s, then I might change my mind.

            • alwyn 13.1.1.1.1.1

              When you post something like

              ““Most right wing politicians have that option when they leave parliament, the left, not so much
              What a load of rubbish alan”

              I really think the onus is on you to show that your opinion, that Alan’s comment is rubbish, is factual.
              Why is it rubbish? If you can’t demonstrate why it is only reasonable to interpret you statement as being an unsupported opinion.
              You are allowed to do that of course but if you can’t put any reason for why your opinions are factual people must take any such remark by you with a grain of salt.

              • It’s not so much that the claim was false (clearly, Joyce should easily be able to parlay his knowledge of the weak points of the country’s tax and compliance regimes into a pay cheque from people hoping to profit from that knowledge, or use all the cash he’s squirreled away to do so for his own profit), more the unwitting insight into the country’s class structure it reveals.

                Of course right-wingers are at home in the private sector and left-wingers aren’t. The representatives of the ruling class easily find their place among the ruling class once they finish being representatives, whereas the representatives of the lower orders had best start looking for a job if they lose the parliamentary gig. It’s funny that Alan writes that as though it says something good about the ruling class and its representatives.

              • Cinny

                The way I see it alwyn, is that everyone has a variety of options when they leave the house. Hence I thought the above to be rubbish.

                • alwyn

                  That statement about a variety of options is fine, and completely true. Alan was however very specific about Joyce when he said “has the option of going back to the private sector”.
                  If you had said there are “plenty of things”, or “plenty of other things” that left wing politicians can do after they leave politics I would never have questioned you.
                  But you said that what Alan DID say was rubbish and it is that I think it is up to you to disprove.

                  • Cinny

                    “Most right wing politicians have that option when they leave parliament, the left, not so much”

                    This is utter rubbish as anyone leaving the house has a variety of options.

                    There we go all sorted.

                    will try to remember to be more specific with wording in the future as text as no tone.

                    • alwyn

                      Why don’t you try reading the whole comment before answering?
                      Then answer the whole thing rather than just picking out part of it.
                      What Alan said was
                      “um, because he has done his dash and has the option of going back to the private sector where he will probably be very successful again.
                      Most right wing politicians have that option when they leave parliament, the left, not so much”

                      It should be absolutely clear, even to you, that the “option” he was talking about in the second sentence was the “option” he listed in the first sentence.
                      Therefore when you try and make it a general proposal that because they can get a job somewhere, anywhere, his proposal is rubbish you are talking rubbish.

                      If I said that James Shaw was simply incapable of getting a position as a tenured full Professor of Physics at Caltech I would simply be stating the truth.
                      You can’t say that it is rubbish because James could get a job as a parking warden with the Wellington City Council.

                    • Cinny

                      alwyn, have you finished now or do you still need to go on and on and on and on about it?

                  • patricia bremner

                    Alwyn, Nit picking again.

                    • greywarshark

                      You can get special combs for that – much faster and so shorter time. Comb it FGS.

                  • Tricledrown

                    Alwynger politicians are sort after by businesses because of their organizational skills and work ethics most cabinet minister’s put in 80 he weeks.
                    Get a life

                    • alwyn

                      Most businesses I know look for employees who can spell but have to take what they can get.

                • greywarshark

                  Actually Cinny to some extent its true, that the left don’t have as many pluto placements as right might find.

                  I am thinking of book I read about great leftie Margaret Thorn married to another great leftie and they were High Commissioners in Canada eventually and would be doing good work but change of government brought them back to NZ and she ended up in the kitchen of a boarding school which she had opened as an MP, or similar.

                  I haven’t got the facts totally right, but that’s what can happen to lefties, so not always good options available. Then he died, and they had been a symbiotic couple, so happy and it was a bit much for a while. So left just have to work harder and get tested more for it I think.

                  • alwyn

                    Here is a brief, and sympathetic, biography if anyone is interested.
                    https://teara.govt.nz/en/biographies/4t16/thorn-margaret
                    He was the High Commissioner and the MP.
                    Given that he was a purely political appointment it is not really surprising that he was replaced after the 1949 election.

                  • Cinny

                    Thanks for the example Grey, it was really interesting reading about her life, but what happened there was around 70 years ago.

                    I still feel that everyone has a variety of options when they leave the house. If by chance those options are limited by right wing private sector employers then I see that as flat out discrimination.

                    • greywarshark

                      I think you are right and it is likely to be the case now as much as 70 years ago. Some attitudes don’t change, as they say it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.

      • red-blooded 13.1.2

        Really? Cos the last time I checked, Michael Cullen was head of NZ Post and Steve Maharey was Vice Chancellor at Massey for years (now a consultant and reviewing Otago Uni). I’m sure they are plenty of others doing well in the commercial or academic/professional world.

        • alwyn 13.1.2.1

          Michael has actually left New Zealand Post I believe but even if he is still there it is irrelevant.
          Both Alan and I said “the private sector”.
          New Zealand Post is not part of the “private sector”.
          Massey, and Otago University are not part of “the private sector”.
          Nobody claimed that left wing politicians can’t get jobs. It was quite clearly designated what type of jobs they were that they couldn’t easily get.

          Except for David Cunliffe of course who, like Darth Vader, went over to the “dark side”.
          I’m afraid your examples lend weight to Alan’s point.

          • red-blooded 13.1.2.1.1

            TBH, I don’t tend to follow ex-politicians’ professional lives, so big deal. Personally, I think public service is a more worthy pathway, although I acknowledge that the private sector is needed to enable to public sector to function. And let’s remember that more left politicians come from the public sector anyway (that damn sense of service again…).

          • patricia bremner 13.1.2.1.2

            Alwyn, Oh you mean the Private sector propped up with Government backing of the banks, or being baled out by public money? That Private sector? Yeah right LOL. Ha Ha Ha!!

            • alwyn 13.1.2.1.2.1

              I presume you intended to say something sensible when you put this comment out?
              Unfortunately you failed. What on earth are you waffling about when you wrote this?

          • Tricledrown 13.1.2.1.3

            Alwynger your lack of knowledge of business is glaring.
            Just because the govt owns the business doesn’t mean diddly.
            You have nothing to offer bar .
            Who appointed Michael Cullen!
            Mankato university works with the private sector to create innovative new businesses and industries .
            Needing some one of a very high caliber to collaborate between businesses govt and educators to achieve these goals.
            Bean counters salesmen people managers businesses don’t have the time knowledge or capital to be risking time and money and are blinkered by the bottom line.
            Alwynger you are blinkered by your ideology like a cult where you are suffering Stockholm syndrome.

            • alwyn 13.1.2.1.3.1

              “Mankato university”
              Well that is certainly a new one.
              Where is that located? Any distinguished graduates?
              Your alma mater is it?
              Twenty bucks and the label from a Weetbix packet and they post you a PhD?

        • greywarshark 13.1.2.2

          Your answer below shows that you aren’t sure, and wouldn’t know except for the two well-known examples.

  14. Cinny 14

    Tune into Lisa Owen on RadioLive.. Joyce is about to be interviewed… live link here

    http://www.radiolive.co.nz/home.player.html

  15. Treetop 15

    Another National MP where being in opposition just is not exciting enough.

    As well being in the National caucas is not exciting enough.

  16. solkta 16

    An occasion to rejoyce.

    • mac1 16.1

      “The sky is clearing and the night
      Has cried enough
      The sun, he come, the world
      To soften up
      Rejoice, rejoice, we have no choice but
      To carry on” CSN “Carry On”.

      So true. Thanks for the sound worm, solkta.

    • Macro 16.2

      Hehehe
      Good ol’ Charles Wesley He said it first!
      “Lift up your heart!
      Lift up your voice!
      ReJoyce! ReJoyce!
      Again, I say ReJoyce!”

  17. Puckish Rogue 17

    Good. Prune some more dead wood (Nick Smith I’m looking at you) and National will be all the stronger for it

  18. Carolyn_Nth 18

    Has Joyce mentioned Sky City today? Convention Centre?

  19. Philg 19

    Joyce has worked for himself and his mates, and not for those less well off. He’s done more than his share of damage when he had the opportunity to do good.

  20. Carolyn_Nth 20

    So Hooton attacks Joyce in NBR, tells Bridges he needs to sack Joyce.

    Joyce threatens legal action. Hooton is removed from NBR.

    Hooton seems happy.

    Joyce resigns

    Hooton is now announced as a new political columnist for Business Herald.

    • Tricledrown 20.1

      Holton one very slippery operator.
      He’s like 2 eels in a bucket of snot.
      He is Michelle Noah constrictor in drag carrying out her orders of generational cleansing.
      Ruthless .
      The writing was on the wall when Billl English was seen with a Tuatara clinging to his arm ,a couple of Dinosaurs.

  21. Enough is Enough 21

    I have never really agreed with your policies or your strategy Steven. But thank you for your service to New Zealand and good luck in the future.

    • james 21.1

      Nice to see a classy reply.

      People tend to forget that politics is a hard job, that takes over your life, and IS a service to the country – regardless of what side you are on.

      • tracey 21.1.1

        Classy is in the eye of the beholder.

        One of our problems is people treat it like a game. So now Joyce has blown the whistle on his game you think classy is thanking him? I think classy is not lying to get re elected and on that alone he fails.

        Meantime on FB and kiwiblog comments are being made about our PM which are misogynistic, about her partner, homophobic. With a vitriol that should turn those seeking classy behaviour off that site forever and the man whose blog it is. Straight from the Steven Joyce playbook to undermine Clark, also used her husband. But apparently she is still in the game, the PM, so brutalise at will, until she resigns then thank her for her service and smile cos you are “classy”

        PS service is the 90 year old woman who has delivered meals on wheels for over 30 years… the people who do voluntary work on top of a job for no reward… the carers who have to go back to Court cos the last government ( as part of what you call their service, shat on them from a great height).

        • alwyn 21.1.1.1

          Please satisfy my curiosity.
          What is the “FB” you mention in the sentence that starts “Meantime on FB and “?

        • cleangreen 21.1.1.2

          Those two National stool pigeons Alwyn & James are “so broken up” about these loss of their ‘chair leader aren’t they just Tracey?

          A sight that pleases the eye alright, as the ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’.

        • James 21.1.1.3

          Of course Tracy I didn’t expect a “classy reply” from your good self.

          “Meantime on FB and kiwiblog comments are being made about our PM which are misogynistic, about her partner, homophobic. With a vitriol that should turn those seeking classy behaviour off that site forever and the man whose blog it is“

          Really ? What makes that So much more terrible than the disgusting comments some people have made in here about Key and co for years?

  22. Heather Grimwood 22

    I think of what he did to Hillside (railway workshop).

    • cleangreen 22.1

      Heather, 100% correct.

      Yes Steven “anti-rail” is a devastating man when he ran the Minister of transport” he was then “Minister of trucks”m and set up “kiwi rail to fail.”

      He should face court action for his sabotage of our rail asset

    • Tricledrown 22.2

      Joyce and National are in the back pocket of the road transport industry to the detriment of NZ.
      Gridlock in Auckland is causing a massive productivity loss with companies having 25% more staff and vehicles on the roads stuck in traffic tragically.
      Fueling an idling economy costing hundreds of millions in idle transport ,fuel waste, unnecessary invenTory.
      National the party that panders to its parameters.
      Corruption damaging our economy.

  23. Takere 23

    Somebody had better warn all those animals in the Zoo! Here comes a “Humpty Dumpty” look a like with a big rubber dildo wanting to catch up on 10 years of lost time on animal husbandry!

  24. red-blooded 24

    Both NZ and Aus can rejoice at the departures of our respective Joyces. Synchronicity!

  25. Cantabrian 25

    Joyce had a vendetta against universities in particular and inflicted much pain on them. In particular his handling of Canterbury University and the earthquake was a disgrace. You cannot govern a country with such a negative agenda.

    • Venezia 25.1

      Cantabrian…Thank you for saying that. Exactly my thoughts.

    • Incognito 25.2

      Just because Joyce is gone from Parliament and no longer in charge of Tertiary Education and just because we now have a Labour-led Government it does not mean that the corporatization of higher education in NZ has stopped let alone will be reversed.

  26. Philg 26

    I will always re-member (hic) Joyce as the man who gave dildos a bad name. Lol.

  27. Pete 27

    Headlines on Stuff had Joyce at a “fork in the road.”

    Did they mean National is forked, Joyce is forked or Joyce is down the fork in road?

  28. ropata 28

    Glad to be rid of that oxygen thief. His litany of screwups is long and painful, he had the reverse midas touch, whatever he did turned to shit.

    Presumably the Nats’ shareholders/politburo got sick of him too. Most of the old guard have become a liability to the natcorp™️party

  29. Incognito 29

    Today is a sad day; New Zealand lost one of its greatest Vogon poets to the private sector. Steven Joyce’s most legendary poem had 11.7 billion lines and is mandatory reading for all secondary school students still doing National Standards. The only problem is that no one can find a copy or the original; it’s like it never existed. This is why it’s considered a master piece by RWNJs and on par with John Cage’s 4’33’’.

  30. mauī 30

    Ding! dong! the dildo’s dead.
    Which old dong?
    The dildo Joyce…
    Ding! dong! The dildo Joyce is dead…

    Oh… he’s not dead, apologies.

    • Chris T 30.1

      I’ve always found the jollys some people seem to get from people having things thrown at their head slightly weird.

      • solkta 30.1.1

        I’ve heard that Woolworths is having a sale. If you get down quickly you might get a sense of humour at a good price. Even Joyce thought this was funny, his sense of humour being his only human trait.

  31. Tricledrown 31

    Joyce trying the Trump/Custer 11 Billion dollar hole in his head that Mathew Holton would have seen making National look like idiots and that his claim shone the light on him failing most of his economics papers.
    Joyce the spin Doctor spun out of control.

  32. lurgee 32

    Once again a poster in the Standard uses the picture of Joyce being assaulted.

    It’s almost like tacit endorsement of violence against politicians, as long as they are on the ‘other side.’

    How would it look and how would ‘we’ react if someone lobbed a tennis ball at Jacinda Ardern and it was frequently reproduced on Whaleoil or Kiwiblog?

    • Robert Guyton 32.1

      Not for much longer, lurgee. In fact, we might not see Joyce’s face again.

      • lurgee 32.1.1

        I’m quite happy never seeing his face again. But I wish some posters here had not found the image of another person being assaulted quite so irresistible.

        Almost like they can see – or don’t care – how endorsing physical assault on an MP they dislike could ever come back and bite them on the butt.

    • Tricledrown 32.2

      Lurgee even Steven has profited from the publicity and embraced it he never dreamt he would get his 15 minutes of fame on the world stage.
      Unlike the British politician who was shot by a fascist.
      Joyce has enjoyed the banter .

      • lurgee 32.2.1

        Top marks for missing the point. He was physically assaulted while going about his lawful business. That’s wrong. And if we say its okay, and egging MPs is okay, then it opens the door for more extreme acts. And, like I said, it opens the door for Nactoids to lob a dido any time they like.

        Wrong is wrong, even when done to Nats.

        As for enjoying it, I imagine he decided that he would do better from making light of it and treating it, as you say, as a bit of ‘banter’ – like so many victims of sexual assault and humiliation has had to do.

        • greywarshark 32.2.1.1

          Voice of reason lurgee. Can’t disagree with you being so rational and right.

          • greywarshark 32.2.1.1.1

            While I think that lurgee’s point is correct, I think that the UFD was a very soft way of showing total dissatisfaction with that particular pollie, and done with a coarse panache that didn’t leave him with an ache. Instead we got a memorable image that could always be dragged up and ultimately wouldn’t fit with a desire for prestige.

            So bearing in mind lurgee and incognito’s points I think that the situation illustrates something that I think we need to be taught as youngsters, that it is important to limit our behaviour as we are inclined to egg each other on and go to excessive lengths. Know to draw the line for oneself and pull back. There’s a saying that brainy quote reminded me of:
            ‘Tact in audacity is knowing how far you can go without going too far. Jean Cocteau.’

    • Incognito 32.3

      You’re completely missing the point here; it’s not every day that you see a UFD. Tennis balls are very common as are most balls for that matter and for this reason they’re not news-worthy.

  33. repateet 33

    You have to respect Joyce for being consistent – he’s an arsehole till the end.

    On The AM Show he said he believes a Green Party sympathiser is behind Winston Peters’ superannuation leak.

    “That’s my suspicion. I have no basis for it,” Mr Joyce said.

    So there it is, headlines proclaiming some crap, it’s said, it’s seen and there’s no taking it back.

    He said yesterday he wants to go back being a family man for his kids. They’re welcome to him. Maybe they can learn to be nasty opportunist scumbags straight from the expert.

    • greywarshark 33.1

      I want to spend more time with my family. That’s the last resort for a scoundrel isn’t it? And do they want to spend more time with him or her? They might feel better while they are at boarding school, if it is run right.

      • veutoviper 33.1.1

        Come on, you two – leave his children out of it.

        They are only 8 and 10 years old. One of them has said they are looking forward to see more of their dad and him taking them to school more often.

        • repateet 33.1.1.1

          I know the importance of parenthood and understand all the notions around never getting a second chance to grow with your kids.

          It’s great he will have more opportunities to be nice with them. They will love him for that forever. Others meanwhile will likely consider him to be a slimy, ruthless, weasel. Our kids grow in our own image. Hopefully his don’t grow up to show the same smarmy arsehole behaviour I quoted above. His own parents are probably very proud of him.

          If any of our kids turn out showing the sorts of behaviour Joyce shows we will be very upset. And know we have failed as parents.

  34. greywarshark 34

    He brought the family into it. It’s good for them at that age to see their Dad for a while before they get into teenagehood.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Swiss tax agreement tightens net
    Opportunities to dodge tax are shrinking with the completion of a new tax agreement with Switzerland, Revenue Minister Stuart Nash announced today. Mr Nash and the Swiss Ambassador David Vogelsanger have today signed documents to update the double tax agreement (DTA). The previous DTA was signed in 1980. “Double tax ...
    2 weeks ago