Key the “statesman” strikes again

Written By: - Date published: 3:37 pm, April 15th, 2015 - 71 comments
Categories: iraq, Minister for International Embarrassment, war - Tags: , ,

71 comments on “Key the “statesman” strikes again”

  1. esoteric pineapples 1

    Love these! Funniest tweets posted on this site I can remember. Good to see John Key caricatured in a more expressionist style.

  2. tracey 2

    “My grandfathers didn’t defeat Adam Hiffler for this bullshit”

    ROFL!!!!!

  3. tracey 3

    Watershitdown
    ‏@watershitdown

    @LI_politico @Dovil All John Key knows is ISIS spelt backwards is SISI and he ain’t never backing down to Sissies. #PROUDTOBEAMAAAHNNNPM

    Watershitdown
    ‏@watershitdown

    John Key can’t recall ISIS leader name as he’s not in entertainment…..

    • North 3.1

      No ! Churchill deliberately mangled the name of the Austrian…..'”Hissler” he called him or something like that. This gauche arse didn’t even plan it…..

    • North 3.2

      With some tentativeness I tell you this……a friend of mine in Auckland……not NZ born but lived here for decades, recently remarked – “Uno……I tink tat Mitta Gey’s a pit ov a kirl ! OK…..slash away at me for being amused at the “kirl” thing……but shit it was funny ! He might have said “effete” and no one would blinked…… or belly-laughed.

  4. coaster 4

    maybe hes been watching team america: world police a little too often.

  5. CnrJoe 5

    Hiz voters love it. Implicit insult to th enemy… (they’re all the same…? Dehumanizing

  6. Pasupial 7

    Amzingly, Key still did better than the Australian Defense Minister who:

    was unable to name the head of Islamic State, just hours after committing Australian troops to a two-year training mission to help Iraqi forces defeat the extremist group…

    “There’s a cadre of leaders in the Isil forces and we’re not just dealing with one organisation. There’s fluidity between organisations and individuals who are involved,” Andrews said…

    When pressed on the issue, Andrews replied that he would not comment on operational matters.

    “I don’t think it’s operational. I think it’s a matter of public record,” [TV show] 730 host Leigh Sales fired back.

    http://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2015/apr/14/defence-minister-kevin-andrews-fails-to-name-isis-leader-troops-sent-to-fight

    [edit I see that was already in the stuff link]

    • tracey 7.1

      “operational matters” is one of Key’s hiding places… CT is charging for passing on templates.

  7. What is the name of the prime minister of NZ ?

    Wayne something, isn’t it Wayne Ker …

  8. McFlock 9

    So, to recap: John Key is sending soldiers (we can’t identify) into an area (roughly outlined) for a length of time (we’re not clear on) to train soldiers (whose loyalty we don’t know) to fight (alongside allies we don’t trust) an enemy (that is loosely defined) led by a person (whose name he doesn’t remember).

    Sounds legit. /sarc

  9. emergency mike 10

    The telling part about this is that al-Baghdadi isn’t really a difficult name to remember. Sounding as it does quite a bit like, you know, the capital of Iraq.

    Key can’t remember anything ever, and it’s cute and funny in a ha ha he’s a good sort (edit) kind of way. So he’s off the hook. (Despite previous colleagues saying he had an uncanny memory which frequently impressed them.)

    But the Oz defense minister is a shocker.

  10. infused 11

    Apart from Tova, who are the rest of these people?

    • tracey 11.1

      Dose it matter? Some of them are funny.

    • McFlock 11.2

      They’re popular with the young folk. Don’t worry about it.

    • r0b 11.3

      Who are you, infused, who are you?

      • lprent 11.3.1

        Curiously enough, I know most of the others better than I ‘know’ Tova. I’ve only met her a couple of times at political party conferences but not talked much to her.

        However toad, ben hurley, keith ng, and foxy I know of old and for many years. I have been reading them a for much of a decade. I pretty aware of their positions and arguments from their on-line presence. But about the only thing I can say about Tova is that she has an impressive mic technique in the press huddles.

        But I haven’t watched TV news for most of the last decade except when segments are pointed out and are visible from the net. I still haven’t bothered to fix the TV aerial since I moved back to my apartment in September 2012.

        Which century are you in? It sounds like the 20th? You wouldn’t be a conservative lagging behind would you?

    • felix 11.4

      “Apart from Tova, who are the rest of these people?”

      One of them is the PM of NZ.

      One is the leader of the army that the PM is sending our soldiers into a war against.

      The others don’t matter much in this story. 😀

      • Anne 11.4.1

        What will happen if (and when) one or more of these don’t matter people loses his/her life in battle? Will we have a full military funeral where we all watch the ‘pomp and circumstance’ on the telly but no-one knows who the victim/victims was/were?

        • felix 11.4.1.1

          Probably depends how close to the election it is.

          Of course last time we had a funeral for soldiers killed in battle, John Key fucked off to his child’s baseball game instead.

          In the end it’s a very, very difficult decision. I’ve got to let somebody down, but my son makes huge sacrifices for me and my job and, in the final analysis, I’ve just decided it’s probably the right thing to do – to go and support him.

          http://www.odt.co.nz/news/politics/221022/sons-sport-keeps-key-soldiers-funerals

          • Anne 11.4.1.1.1

            … John Key fucked off to his child’s baseball game instead.

            Nah… that was 4 or 5 days later. He forgot to mention that. He f****d off early to Los Angeles to meet up with his Warner Bros. mates and… who knows who else!! It was around the time the FBI approached the GCSB and the NZ Police about conducting surveillance on Dotcom and his associates.

            You know, wot Key claimed he never knew anyfink about.

            • Anne 11.4.1.1.1.1

              Umm.. I think it was during the peak of the fallout after the raid, which took place earlier in the year?

          • North 11.4.1.1.2

            Yeah, it was always bullshit that it was one or the other. He could have been here for the return of New Zealanders killed in battle as well as going to Boston to be a proud PMONZ wanker, but you know, he didn’t have the bottle.

            The-Once-Was-God-Key aye ?

      • tracey 11.4.2

        YUP, the irony abounds about needing to honour what those who were slaughtered at Gallipoli “died for” versus terminal reluctance to say anything about our most recent deployment…

  11. cogito 12

    Sounds to me like Key is laying down a challenge to ISIS to make themselves better known to him.

  12. Armchair Critic 13

    It’s only because John hasn’t been able to arrange a game of golf with him, yet.
    test.

  13. Nck 14

    PM = Pristine Memory (completely clear of information / knowledge / understanding)

  14. Neil 15

    The first rule of war is “Know who is your enemy”

  15. Murray Rawshark 16

    FJK only needs to know the name of the bloke who wants our kids over there. It also comes in useful when he schedules a golf game in Hawaii.

  16. North 17

    Increasingly this ‘man’ (???) looks soooo pathetic. The clay feet……OMG !

    New Zealand media is ending its fascination with the Milan Brych of our politics.

    Can hear the knives sharpening from here. Couldn’t happen to a nicer fraud !

    Look after Fizzy friends……will be taking it hard.

    • tc 17.1

      The nz media is propping up this corrupt govt by not holding them to account.

      They lack the bottle to call it like it is as they’ve sold out for the paypacket.

      Their only fascination is how gullible are the people to the PR spin and crap that passes for journalism in this country as they will not be challenging herr leader.

  17. Ian 18

    how many heads can a head chopper chop when a head chopper chops heads. The head choppers are nameless.

    • North 18.1

      Which means what exactly Ian……? That we have a Little-Churchill-Key happening round here ? No I think. Worryingly Our-Man-Key is showing some very Chicken-Hawk-Bush traits……”kim-jong-the-second” comes to mind. Akshilly, were I Little-Churchill-Key I’d be much more worried about the head-choppers in the National Party caucus rooms.

  18. North 19

    But but but……his office knew the name !

  19. vto 20

    he is arrogant.

  20. Hateatea 21

    Once upon a time New Zealand premiers showed a modicum of intelligence and common sense which enabled me to respect them even if I disagreed with their politics.

    This man is an embarrassment on so many levels. Can’t we find some reason to give him gardening leave in Hawaii right now?

  21. SMILIN 22

    Sounds like typical Key/Bush gibberish/Jabberish to me Just fire them weapons that will get it right. Mr T Stop your jibber jabber
    With a big Hell Yeah im home to the Fed. Do you think he will remember how much money he has ? Sure thing

    • Rob 22.1

      Didn’t he have $50M when he started out and they still parrot on he has $50M
      over a decade later.
      He must be a master with his money to not see any growth over such a long time!
      Just saying

      • tc 22.1.1

        I believe he went into politics with wealth just under 30mill which has grown due to the astute and canny moves made by the portfolio managers of his blind trust.

        The blind trusts that Shonky has no knowledge on the breakdown nor does anyone have any contact with the managers regarding potential investment opportunities such as say maybe brief share price movements or legislative and tender outcomes.

        Amazing how well they have done in such a tough market gosh they must be clairvoyants.

        • thatguynz 22.1.1.1

          Although I couldn’t possibly comment on how our esteemed leader might have established his “blind” trust I can postulate how I would do it.. Ensure the “new” executors of the trust are lawyers such that any discussions you have with them are covered by legal privilege. Pretty easy to still maintain full visibility and control of the investments of the trust however the discussions with the “trustees” can never be subject to investigation.

          Now whether our wondrous leader (/sarc) has leveraged such an approach, who would know..

  22. Sable 23

    Keys is in my opinion a hollow man propped by the dirty MSM and rich campaign donors.

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    Today is a Member's day, and David Seymour's End of Life Choice Bill continues its slow crawl through its committee stage. They're spending the whole day on it today, though the first hour is likely to be spent on voting left over from last time. After that they'll move on ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Flight to Los Angeles turned back after passengers decide they don’t want to go anymore
    An ambitious plan to fly to Los Angeles petered out into a brief sight-seeing trip and a desire to return home and get some sleep before work tomorrow. Air New Zealand has confirmed a flight to Los Angeles last night was turned back about a quarter of the way into ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    1 week ago
  • Indigenous Futures: defuturing and futuring – an analytical framework for policy development?
    There appears to be consensus – by omission – that the concept of indigenous futures should be accepted at face value. So I scavenged the internet to see if I could locate an academic descriptor or a framework around how we think about it as a concept, and whether it ...
    EllipsisterBy Ellipsister
    1 week ago
  • Cadbury rumoured to be releasing the Pineapple Trump
    Here’s another novelty chocolate to shove in your gob, New Zealand Cadbury could be seeking to make itself great again with a rumoured new release: Pineapple Trumps, a spin on its classic chocolate-encased pineapple treat and do-it-yourself tooth remover. The global confectionery manufacturer and bumbling “before” character in an infomercial, ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    1 week ago
  • The coming resource war.
    During my time in the Pentagon I had the privilege of sitting down with military leaders and defence and security officials from a variety of Latin American nations. Sometimes I was present as a subordinate assistant to a senior US defence department official, sometimes as part of a delegation that ...
    KiwipoliticoBy Pablo
    1 week ago
  • Māori Language Week with The Civilian
    Kia ora, Aotearoa. It’s that magical time of year. Te Wiki o te Reo Māori. In English, the week that frightens talk radio. As you probably know by now, all your favourite media outlets are participating, some more successfully than others. Stuff has changed its name to Puna for the ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    1 week ago
  • Will Horizons act on climate change?
    Local body elections are coming up next month. And it looks like all Palmerston North candidates for Horizons (the Manawatu-Whanganui Regional Council) want to take action on climate change:Climate change is set to be a key issue in Palmerston North for the next three years if those wanting to get ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • BORA reform is stalled
    Eighteen months ago, the government promised to strengthen the Bill of Rights Act, by explicitly affirming the power of the courts to issue declarations of inconsistency and requiring Parliament to formally respond to them. So how's that going? I was curious, so I asked for all advice about the proposal. ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Corbyn and Brexit
    As the Brexit saga staggers on, the focus is naturally enough on the Prime Minister and his attempts to achieve Brexit “do or die”. But the role played by the Leader of the Opposition is of almost equal interest and complexity. The first problem for Jeremy Corbyn is that he ...
    Bryan GouldBy Bryan Gould
    1 week ago
  • A ditch for him to die in
    Last week, English Prime Minister Boris Johnson boldly declared that he would rather die be dead in a ditch than delay Brexit. Unfortunately for him, the UK parliament accepted the challenge, and promptly dug one for him. The "rebellion bill" requires him to ask for and secure yet another temporary ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Warning! Warning! Danger Jacinda Ardern! Danger Marama Davidson! Warning!
    Lost In Political Space: The most important takeaway from this latest Labour sexual assault scandal, which (if I may paraphrase Nixon’s White House counsel’s, John Dean’s, infamous description of Watergate) is “growing like a cancer” on the premiership, is the Labour Party organisation’s extraordinary professional paralysis in the face of ...
    1 week ago
  • Union solidarity with Ihumatao land occupation
    by Daphna Whitmore Every Sunday for the past two months unionists from First Union, with supporters from other unions, have set out to the Ihumatao land protest, put up gazebos and gas barbeques, and cooked food for a few hundred locals and supporters who have come from across the country. ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    1 week ago
  • Climate Change: The wrong kind of trees?
    Newsroom today has an excellent, in-depth article on pine trees as carbon sinks. The TL;DR is that pine is really good at soaking up carbon, but people prefer far-less efficient native forests instead. Which is understandable, but there's two problems: firstly, we've pissed about so long on this problem that ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • No freedom of speech in Turkey
    Canan Kaftancioglu is a Turkish politician and member of the opposition Republican People's Party (CHP). Like most modern politicians, she tweets, and uses the platform to criticise the Turkish government. She has criticised them over the death of a 14-year-old boy who was hit by a tear gas grenade during ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Speaker: Tadhg Stopford: Why I’m standing for the ADHB
    Hi there, just call me Tim.We face tough problems, and I’d like to help, because there are solutions.An Auckand District Health Board member has nominated me for as a candidate for the ADHB, because her MS-related pain and fatigue is reduced with hemp products from Rotorua.  Nothing else helped her. If I ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Good little vassals
    The Inspector-General of Intelligence and Security has published their report on whether the SIS and GCSB had any complicity in American torture. And its damning. The pull quote is this:The Inquiry found both agencies, but to a much greater degree, the NZSIS, received many intelligence reports obtained from detainees who, ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Who Shall We Turn To When God, And Uncle Sam, Cease To Defend New Zealand?
    Bewhiskered Cassandra? Professor Hugh White’s chilling suggestion, advanced to select collections of academic, military and diplomatic Kiwi experts over the course of the past week, is that the assumptions upon which Australia and New Zealand have built their foreign affairs and defence policies for practically their entire histories – are ...
    2 weeks ago
  • The Politics of Opposition
    For most of the time I was a British MP, my party was out of government – these were the Thatcher years, when it was hard for anyone else to get a look-in. As a front-bencher and shadow minister, I became familiar with the strategies required in a parliamentary democracy ...
    Bryan GouldBy Bryan Gould
    2 weeks ago
  • More expert comments on the Canadian fluoride-IQ paper
    The Green et al (2019) fluoride/IQ is certainly controversial – as would be expected from its subject (see If at first you don’t succeed . . . statistical manipulation might help and Politics of science – making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear). Anti-fluoride campaigners have been actively promoting it ...
    2 weeks ago
  • The return to guerrilla war in Colombia
    by Gearóid Ó Loingsigh On August 29th a video in which veteran FARC (Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia) commander Iván Márquez announced that they had taken up arms again was released. There was no delay in the reaction to it, from longtime Liberal Party figure and former president Uribe, for ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    2 weeks ago

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