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Key’s Top Ten

Written By: - Date published: 12:15 pm, September 25th, 2009 - 57 comments
Categories: brand key - Tags:

Obviously, the most important thing ever is how John Key did on Letterman.

It’s quite cute actually, Key’s clearly a bit nervous standing out on the big stage. It really does remind you that we’re a little country. But Letterman’s very nice, although he does forget why Key’s there for a moment. He knows we’re near Tasmania but not what ocean that’s in.

It’s funny how Key Americanises his accent, hard r and a twang. As a lot of people who’ve lived overseas will know, the easiest way to make our accent intelligible is to do the American r and Key’s lived in New York, of course. He’s still quite hard to understand though.

The Top ten are quite good:

57 comments on “Key’s Top Ten”

  1. Bright Red 1

    huh. I thought there would be an interview. Seems kind of weird just to come on to do the Top Ten.

    Still, well done the writers, some of them are funny.

  2. gobsmacked 2

    Pretty average Top Ten, considering their team of writers (not Key’s fault). But nobody knows anything about NZ in NY, so not much to work with.

    Watch 7 days on TV3 tonight, for better (and dirtier) Kiwi jokes.

  3. IrishBill 3

    Oh for christ’s sake. I thought he was getting an interview too. Reading the top ten is the kind of thing they get Brittany Spears to do in a bikini. Without an interview it’s a freakshow spot. Key has no dignity.

  4. gobsmacked 4

    What makes me laugh is all this “great exposure for NZ tourism” hype.

    So the audience is told it’s a 20 hour flight. Thanks!

    (Incidentally, the real boost for NZ tourism came from screen successes from the likes of Lord of the Rings and Whale Rider and Conchords … bloody arty-farty types with funding from the back office bureaucrats)

    • Tim Ellis 4.1

      GS, I don’t think Lord of the Rings or flight of the conchords were funded by New Zealand bureaucrats.

      • gobsmacked 4.1.1

        FYI Tim:

        “Investment New Zealand, Tourism New Zealand, Wellington City Council and New Zealand Trade and Enterprise were involved in the world premiere of The Lord of The Rings: The Return of The King in Wellington in December 2003 and in worldwide publicity and leveraging of the event.

        Their contribution was endorsed when Director Peter Jackson thanked the New Zealand Government and local councils in his speech at the Oscars® ceremony.”

        You might recall those Oscar speeches, Tim, and Billy Crystal’s running commentary (“It’s offical, everyone in New Zealand has now been thanked”). Without exaggeration, those several years of publicity had approximately one thousand times the global impact of a single spot on Letterman.

      • felix 4.1.2

        Then you’d be wrong.

        Actually a lot of money was spent by NZ bureaucrats throughout the careers of the creators of both LOTR and FOTC to get them to a position where they were able to able to play on the international stage.

      • Bright Red 4.1.3

        Tim. You’re really off your game today. Wayne will be breathing down your neck.

        Lord of the Rings got up to $200 million in tax breaks.

      • Rob 4.1.4

        You are exactly correct, they only started funding once they realised it was going to be huge. There was no seeding or any other start up money gifted. The back office types were more focussed upon investing in other releases which we cannot remember now…oh yeah I think “Perfect Strangers” was one, I went to to the premier of it and it pretty much went straight to video, but that is another story.

        • felix 4.1.4.1

          You do realise LOTR wasn’t Peter’s first film, don’t you?

          • Rob 4.1.4.1.1

            Wow, that is news , you mean he did other things before LOTR. I thought he just convinced a major studio to let him go to town on a legendary piece of fiction that they had paid millions to secure the film rights on…..

            • felix 4.1.4.1.1.1

              The point being that in NZ, creative enterprises don’t get to that level without a metric shit-ton of funding and assistance over many, many years.

              Which is why the original comment from gobsmacked holds water and the disingenuous reply from “Tim Ellis” doesn’t.

              Thanks for helping me make the point.

  5. felix 5

    You can see why he compares himself to Obama, can’t you?

  6. Tigger 6

    New Zealand is a wonderland…

    Not for long – wait until Gerry mines the crap out of the countryside…there’ll be nothing left to wonder about…

  7. ak 7

    Talk about lame. Best opportunity ever to promote NZ and the slippery tongue gets stage fright. A step down from wooden, must have been the rent-a-crowd. “Why is he here Paul?”

    Lines obviously written by Key’s people – reeking of geekish right-wing wit vacuum – and the No 1 best they could do? “Unlike the rest of the world we still like americans”

    Say whaaat? Needy mixed messages or what…..

  8. Wackey Leftie 8

    What a let down.

    I squirmed a little at the “loosest slot machines in the Pacific”

    I did laugh at a few others, but a bit of a poor showing.

  9. Seti 9

    The Top 10 on Letterman has always been lame. A chuckle is very seldom when I manage to catch it. Definitely wasn’t expecting any real knee-slappers, as some clearly were.

    At least a couple of million Mericans now know we’re English speaking

  10. Daveski 10

    Not as bad as I expect … and I was talking about the Standard’s view of the “event”.

    Actually, eddie’s quite fair for once. I do agree it’s nothing to get excited about but any PR is better than none.

  11. richard 11

    I correctly predicted a month ago that they would need to use subtitles. Still he didn’t embarass himself, so I suppose no harm done. Hardly the mega-exposure opportunity that it was hyped as though.

  12. StephenR 12

    He came across very positively and friendly – Americans love NZers already, if nothing else this will probably reinforce that perception.

  13. Zaphod Beeblebrox 13

    Can he get a spot on John Stewart? That would be funny.

  14. Ianmac 14

    Having often watched Letterman I thought that in this case he was pretty off-hand with Key. I felt a bit sorry for Key actually.

  15. bobo 15

    Like it at the end where Letterman almost says New England 🙂

  16. Tim Ellis 16

    I agree Eddie it was a reasonable performance.

    The top 10 is a soft spot that’s meant to be light hearted.

  17. felix 17

    Just to be clear:

    When people talk about the “PR value” of this little excersise do they mean it’s good PR for Key, aimed at us back here in NZ?

    Or do people actually think there’s some value for us in having our PM giggling like a tongue-tied schoolgirl on an international TV show?

  18. exbrethren 19

    11. For a nostalgia trip come and visit a country where the current leader struggles with English.

  19. willaspish 20

    The politics, lifestyle and entertainment sections of the NZ MSM have just morphed into one big, fat, dumbed-down Sunday supplement. Doesn’t this guy have a proper job he should be doing?

    Go back to bed NZ, your government is in control.

    • BLiP 20.1

      Yep – the trade deficit is $725 million worse than expected and the Aussie banks are about to put New Zealand into liquidation.

      But, hey, The Goober was on US television so who cares about little things like the economy so long as we’ve got all these lovely warm fuzzies?

  20. greenfly 21

    Loosest slot machines in the Pacific? Come on guys, you’re pulling my chain!
    You know it’s a reference to our women!
    Go John Key, ya pimp!

  21. Victor 22

    just watched the show here in NY .. .

    Other leaders to get mention, Gadaffi and Ahmadinejad . ..

    After Key was done, and commercials on quitting smoking, Letterman then subsequently went onto introduce Craig Ferguson as the first ‘guest’. .. .So what was John Key?

    Without being a wet blanket, it was a touch demeaning .. .Should be a ‘guest’ or nothing. And if not a guest, one comes across as a bit of a clown .. .

  22. Anthony Karinski 24

    For once I got to say that JK probably did a better job than HC would have done.

  23. Deemac 25

    not sure it’s tactful to point out most people in the world hate your hosts!

  24. deWithiel 26

    Well, it is possible to put all this Key in New York stuff into a certain perspective just by looking at, oh, I don’t know, maybe what the New York papers report: http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/09/24/obamas-red-carpet-up-close-and-personal/?hp
    Funny that; no mention of our very own grinning clown.

  25. Irascible 27

    Off key, off the screen, cringe-making and a tribute to spin that the NZ media thought this was an important and high key part of the trip to NY. Tom Scott had it right. Key is a political clown.

  26. I cannot understand how Key made so much money.The Guys an overgrown kid. however I have worked bloody hard all my working life .I dont drink and I dont smoke My wifeand I own a modest house and I now live on the Super,Nothing wrong with that but I look at what Key has and I wonder how it is so ?
    Regardless, we in Aotearoa are now condemed to being ruled by a Right-Wing government led by an over excited inmature man.
    He’s government is becoming boged down with bumbing and sleaze. A good example is the rorts being carried out by English. We still have no idea why Worth was sacked will we ever.? Then dispite the outrage we had from National regarding the overspending at the last election the Nats still have not paid the GST they owe the taxe department . When will that be paid if ever and how much longer are these bandits going to enjoy there undeserved honey-moon.

    • BLiP 28.1

      Basically, John Key was a part of the crew which looted Thailand and set off the 1997 Asian Economic Crisis. You can see his $50 million was actually just chump change when you learn the actual amounts involved.

      It is believed that financial speculators, led by some hedge funds, were responsible for the original “trigger action” in Thailand. The Thai government used up over US$20 billion of foreign reserves to ward off speculative attacks. Speculators are believed to have borrowed and sold Thai baht, receiving US dollars in exchange.

      If you’re looking for details and a good place to start checking the facts, start here. Wait till you see what they’ve got in store for New Zealand.

    • gitmo 28.2

      “boged down with bumbing and sleaze”

      Ha ha ha ha ha comedy gold.

      Though on a more serious note clearly key is Satan or at the very least Beezlebub.

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  • Funding certainty for sports through COVID-19
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  • Butchers now allowed to process pork
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  • Susan Thomas the new Chief High Court Judge
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  • Business Finance Guarantee – applications open
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  • Advance payments to support contractors
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  • New Zealand defence personnel conclude mission at Taji
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  • State of National Emergency extended
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  • Strong Govt books support ‘go hard, go early’ response
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  • Christchurch Hospital Hagley ICU to open to support COVID-19 response
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  • Government supports Air NZ freight flights
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    1 week ago
  • Tariff concessions on COVID-19 related products
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  • Clarification of modification to wage subsidy scheme
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  • Face masks flowing to DHBs
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  • COVID-19: Further steps to protect New Zealanders’ jobs
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  • Tax relief for Mycoplasma Bovis farmers
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  • $27 million for NGOs and community groups to continue providing essential services
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  • Statement on guilty plea of March 15 terrorist
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  • COVID-19 updates
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  • Police numbers break through 10,000 mark
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  • Urgent tax measures for economic recovery
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  • Further support for farmers and growers as drought persists
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    2 weeks ago
  • COVID-19: Temporary changes to Education Act
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  • Canada, Australia, Chile, Brunei and Myanmar join NZ and Singapore in committing to keeping supply a...
    Canada, Australia, Chile, Brunei and Myanmar have joined forces with New Zealand and Singapore by committing to keep supply chains open and remove any existing trade restrictive measures on essential goods, especially medical supplies, in the face of the Covid-19 crisis.  Trade and Export Growth Minister David Parker today welcomed ...
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  • COVID-19: Rent increase freeze and more protection for tenants
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  • Working together to protect businesses and workers
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  • State of National Emergency declared to fight COVID-19
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    2 weeks ago
  • Prime Minister’s statement on State of National Emergency and Epidemic Notice
    Mr Speaker I wish to make a Ministerial Statement under Standing Order 347 in relation to the recent declaration of a State of National Emergency. Having considered the advice of the Director Civil Defence Emergency Management, the Minister of Civil Defence declared a State of National Emergency for the whole of ...
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    2 weeks ago
  • Deadline for domestic travel extended
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  • Mortgage holiday and business finance support schemes to cushion COVID impacts
    The Government, retail banks and the Reserve Bank are today announcing a major financial support package for home owners and businesses affected by the economic impacts of COVID-19. The package will include a six month principal and interest payment holiday for mortgage holders and SME customers whose incomes have been ...
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    2 weeks ago