Kiwi jester to play for Queen
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9:15 pm, August 30th, 2010 - 15 comments
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Self-styled ‘Jokemeister-in-chief’ John Key has been selected from a host of eager clowns, buffoons, and slapstick artists (known as the National Party) to perform for Queen Elizabeth the Second for a weekend next month.
A clearly excited Key announced his selection. “This is the ultimate in a long journey for me. Lately, I’ve been expanding my comic range into working on my magic tricks and gags. There’s my ‘$50 million fortune out of thin air’ routine, which still gets laughs even when the audience realises I’ve taken it out of their own pockets, and my latest trick where I substitute the Prime Minister of New Zealand for a short bald failed dancer without anyone noticing.
The Queen admitted she has been following Key’s work for some time:
“He’s a comic genius. Yes, he does all the classics: the pratfall off the stage; the awkward, overawed country bumpkin on the Letterman stage; the odd vasectomy joke; the grammar mistake in the education billboard; the self-deifying DVD that uses stolen music and gets withdrawn….
But it’s his straight man stuff I really like. He’ll seem like he’s being dead serious but if you get the inside jokes, he’s a real riot. Take the Jobs Summit. Oh my, one nearly wet oneself when he announced the ‘national cycleway’. How he keeps a straight face while insisting that it’s still going to be a success, I don’t know. This is a man who can tell you that he is managing a strong recovery when 100,000 more people are unemployed than when he took office, and he doesn’t even have to stifle a smirk!
Perhaps his best joke is his longest running: he tells a journalist that he wants wages to drop, then insists he didn’t say it or he was talking about Australian wages, then he enacts policies that make wages drop and they do drop, and he insists they’re going up! He’s been running that gag out for two years now and it just gets funnier”
Key is keeping mum about what material he plans to use for his performance but The Standard understands he will use well-loved older material like “have I got a brighter future for you?!” and a try out a new duo piece with Phil Goff, where each says essentially the same thing and competes to have the most appealing grin, called ‘Election 2011’.
Asked if he has any nerves ahead of the big show, Key whipped out his old catchphrase saying “nah, I’m pretty relaxed”.
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- Greens will always prioritise action on climate and inequality“Cabinet needs to do better - and today has shown exactly why we need Green Ministers in cabinet, so we can prioritise action to cut climate pollution and support people to make ends meet,” says Green Party co-leader Marama Davidson. ...3 weeks ago
- Foreign Minister Nanaia Mahuta to attend NATO meeting
Minister of Foreign Affairs, Nanaia Mahuta, departs for Europe today, where she will attend a session of the NATO Foreign Ministers Meeting in Brussels and make a short bilateral visit to Sweden. “NATO is a long-standing and likeminded partner for Aotearoa New Zealand. It is valuable to join a session of ...58 mins ago - Secure all-of-government facility to be built at WhenuapaiA secure facility that will house protected information for a broad range of government agencies is being constructed at RNZAF Base Auckland (Whenuapai), Public Service, Defence and GCSB Minister Andrew Little says. The facility will consolidate and expand the government’s current secure storage capacity and capability for at least another ...7 hours ago
- Flu vaccine to protect Kiwis this winterFrom today, 1.8 million flu vaccines are available to help protect New Zealanders from winter illness, Minister of Health Ayesha Verrall has announced. “Vaccination against flu is safe and will be a first line of defence against severe illness this winter,” Dr Verrall said. “We can all play a part ...1 day ago
- Congratulations to Professor Rangi Mātāmua – New Zealander of the YearAssociate Minister of Arts, Culture and Heritage Willow-Jean Prime has congratulated Professor Rangi Mātāmua (Ngāi Tūhoe) who was last night named the prestigious Te Pou Whakarae o Aotearoa New Zealander of the Year. Professor Mātāmua, who is the government's Chief Adviser Mātauranga Matariki, was the winner of the New Zealander ...2 days ago
- Further sanctions on Russian and Belarusian political and military figuresThe Minister of Foreign Affairs Nanaia Mahuta has announced further sanctions on political and military figures from Russia and Belarus as part of the ongoing response to the war in Ukraine. The International Criminal Court (ICC) has issued an arrest warrant for Russia’s Commissioner for Children’s Rights Maria Alekseevna Lvova-Belova ...2 days ago
- Ambitious new housing development for WhangāreiA new public housing development planned for Whangārei will provide 95 warm and dry, modern homes for people in need, Housing Minister Megan Woods says. The Kauika Road development will replace a motel complex in the Avenues with 89 three-level walk up apartments, alongside six homes. “Whangārei has a rapidly ...2 days ago
- CPTPP bolstered by decision on UK accessionNew Zealand welcomes the substantial conclusion of negotiations on the United Kingdom’s accession to the Comprehensive and Progressive Agreement for Trans-Pacific Partnership (CPTPP), Trade and Export Growth Minister Damien O’Connor announced today. “Continuing to grow our export returns is a priority for the Government and part of our plan to ...2 days ago
- Ngā Iwi o Taranaki and the Crown initial Taranaki Maunga collective redress deed (rua reo)Ngā Iwi o Taranaki and the Crown initial Taranaki Maunga collective redress deed Ngā Iwi o Taranaki and the Crown have today initialled the Taranaki Maunga Collective Redress Deed, named Te Ruruku Pūtakerongo, Minister for Treaty of Waitangi Negotiations Andrew Little says. “I am pleased to be here for this ...2 days ago
- Dates announced for 2023 Pacific language weeksMinister for Pacific Peoples Barbara Edmonds has announced the 2023 Pacific Language week series, highlighting the need to revitalise and sustain languages for future generations. “Pacific languages are a cornerstone of our health, wellbeing and identity as Pacific peoples. When our languages are spoken, heard and celebrated, our communities thrive,” ...2 days ago
- Over a quarter of New Zealanders to get cost of living relief from tomorrow880,000 pensioners to get a boost to Super, including 5000 veterans 52,000 students to see a bump in allowance or loan living costs Approximately 223,000 workers to receive a wage rise as a result of the minimum wage increasing to $22.70 8,000 community nurses to receive pay increase of up ...2 days ago
- Thousands of community nurses getting April pay boostOver 8000 community nurses will start receiving well-deserved pay rises of up to 15 percent over the next month as a Government initiative worth $200 million a year kicks in, says Minister of Health Dr Ayesha Verrall. “The Government is committed to ensuring nurses are paid fairly and will receive ...2 days ago
- Speech to Taranaki Chamber of Commerce and TOI Foundation breakfastTākiri mai ana te ata Ki runga o ngākau mārohirohi Kōrihi ana te manu kaupapa Ka ao, ka ao, ka awatea Tihei mauri ora Let the dawn break On the hearts and minds of those who stand resolute As the bird of action sings, it welcomes the dawn of a ...2 days ago
- Government takes next step to lift artists’ incomesThe Government is introducing a scheme which will lift incomes for artists, support them beyond the current spike in cost of living and ensure they are properly recognised for their contribution to New Zealand’s economy and culture. “In line with New Zealand’s Free Trade Agreement with the UK, last ...3 days ago
- NZ stands with Vanuatu on climate at UNNew Zealand is welcoming a decision by the United Nations General Assembly to ask the International Court of Justice to consider countries’ international legal obligations on climate change. The United Nations has voted unanimously to adopt a resolution led by Vanuatu to ask the ICJ for an advisory opinion on ...3 days ago
- More Police deployed to the frontlineMore Police officers are being deployed to the frontline with the graduation of 59 new constables from the Royal New Zealand Police College today. “The graduation for recruit wing 364 was my first since becoming Police Minister last week,” Ginny Andersen said. “It was a real honour. I want to ...3 days ago
- Aotearoa New Zealand committed to an enduring partnership with VanuatuForeign Minister Nanaia Mahuta met with Vanuatu Foreign Minister Jotham Napat in Port Vila, today, signing a new Statement of Partnership — Aotearoa New Zealand’s first with Vanuatu. “The Mauri Statement of Partnership is a joint expression of the values, priorities and principles that will guide the Aotearoa New Zealand–Vanuatu relationship into ...3 days ago
- Government delivers levy change to support Fire and EmergencyThe Government has passed new legislation amending the Fire and Emergency New Zealand (FENZ) levy regime, ensuring the best balance between a fair and cost effective funding model. The Fire and Emergency New Zealand (Levy) Amendment Bill makes changes to the existing law to: charge the levy on contracts of ...3 days ago
- Next steps for New Zealand’s organic regulationsThe Government has passed the Organic Products and Production Bill through its third reading today in Parliament helping New Zealand’s organic sector to grow and lift export revenue. “The Organic Products and Production Bill will introduce robust and practical regulation to give businesses the certainty they need to continue to ...3 days ago
- Govt helps to protect New Zealanders digital identitiesThe Digital Identity Services Trust Framework Bill, which will make it easier for New Zealanders to safely prove who they are digitally has passed its third and final reading today. “We know New Zealanders want control over their identity information and how it’s used by the companies and services they ...3 days ago
- Cyclone Taskforce focused on locally-led recoveryThe full Cyclone Gabrielle Recovery Taskforce has met formally for the first time as work continues to help the regions recover and rebuild from Cyclone Gabrielle. The Taskforce, which includes representatives from business, local government, iwi and unions, covers all regions affected by the January and February floods and cyclone. ...3 days ago
- Law changed to protect subcontractorsChanges have been made to legislation to give subcontractors the confidence they will be paid the retention money they are owed should the head contractor’s business fail, Minister for Building and Construction Megan Woods announced today. “These changes passed in the Construction Contracts (Retention Money) Amendment Act safeguard subcontractors who ...3 days ago
- New congestion busting harbour crossing options unveiledTransport Minister Michael Wood has unveiled five scenarios for one of the most significant city-shaping projects for Tāmaki Makaurau in coming decades, the additional Waitematā Harbour crossing. “Aucklanders and businesses have made it clear that the biggest barriers to the success of Auckland is persistent congestion and after years of ...3 days ago
- New law enhances safety and security in the aviation sectorThe Government has passed new legislation that ensures New Zealand’s civil aviation rules are fit for purpose in the 21st century, Associate Transport Minister Kiri Allan says. The Civil Aviation Bill repeals and replaces the Civil Aviation Act 1990 and the Airport Authorities Act 1966 with a single modern law ...3 days ago
- Coroners Amendment Bill passes third readingA Bill aimed at helping to reduce delays in the coronial jurisdiction passed its third reading today. The Coroners Amendment Bill, amongst other things, will establish new coronial positions, known as Associate Coroners, who will be able to perform most of the functions, powers, and duties of Coroners. The new ...4 days ago
- Review into Stuart Nash’s communications with donorsThe Prime Minister has asked the Cabinet Secretary to conduct a review into communications between Stuart Nash and his donors. The review will take place over the next two months. The review will look at whether there have been any other breaches of cabinet collective responsibility or confidentiality, or whether ...4 days ago
- 600 more workers to support recoveryThe new Recovery Visa to help bring in additional migrant workers to support cyclone and flooding recovery has attracted over 600 successful applicants within its first month. “The Government is moving quickly to support businesses bring in the workers needed to recover from Cyclone Gabrielle and the Auckland floods,” Michael ...4 days ago
- Bills to vet school boards, contractors pass first readingBills to ensure non-teaching employees and contractors at schools, and unlicensed childcare services like mall crèches are vetted by police, and provide safeguards for school board appointments have passed their first reading today. The Education and Training Amendment Bill (No. 3) and the Regulatory Systems (Education) Amendment Bill have now ...4 days ago
- Bill recognises unique role and contribution of Wānanga and Kura Kaupapa MāoriWānanga will gain increased flexibility and autonomy that recognises the unique role they fill in the tertiary education sector, Associate Minister of Education Kelvin Davis has announced. The Education and Training Amendment Bill (No.3), that had its first reading today, proposes a new Wānanga enabling framework for the three current ...4 days ago
- Foreign Affairs Minister talks to the Vanuatu Government on Pacific issuesForeign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta will travel to Vanuatu today, announcing that Aotearoa New Zealand will provide further relief and recovery assistance there, following the recent destruction caused by Cyclones Judy and Kevin. While in Vanuatu, Minister Mahuta will meet with Vanuatu Acting Prime Minister Sato Kilman, Foreign Minister Jotham ...4 days ago
- Major investment to support the safety of frontline Police and communitiesThe Government is backing Police and making communities safer with the roll-out of state-of-the-art tools and training to frontline staff, Police Minister Ginny Andersen said today. “Frontline staff face high-risk situations daily as they increasingly respond to sophisticated organised crime, gang-violence and the availability of illegal firearms,” Ginny Andersen said. ...4 days ago
- Further laws passed to keep communities safe from gang offendingThe Government has provided Police with more tools to crack down on gang offending with the passing of new legislation today which will further improve public safety, Justice Minister Kiri Allan says. The Criminal Activity Intervention Legislation Bill amends existing law to: create new targeted warrant and additional search powers ...4 days ago
- Standard kerbside recycling part of new era for waste systemThe Government today announced far-reaching changes to the way we make, use, recycle and dispose of waste, ushering in a new era for New Zealand’s waste system. The changes will ensure that where waste is recycled, for instance by households at the kerbside, it is less likely to be contaminated ...4 days ago
- New laws will crack down on gang profits and criminal assetsNew legislation passed by the Government today will make it harder for gangs and their leaders to benefit financially from crime that causes considerable harm in our communities, Minister of Justice Kiri Allan says. Since the Criminal Proceeds (Recovery) Act 2009 came into effect police have been highly successful in ...5 days ago
- Stuart Nash dismissed from CabinetThis evening I have advised the Governor-General to dismiss Stuart Nash from all his ministerial portfolios. Late this afternoon I was made aware by a news outlet of an email Stuart Nash sent in March 2020 to two contacts regarding a commercial rent relief package that Cabinet had considered. In ...5 days ago
- Tax incentive to boost housing passes third readingLegislation to enable more build-to-rent developments has passed its third reading in Parliament, so this type of rental will be able to claim interest deductibility in perpetuity where it meets the requirements. Housing Minister Dr Megan Woods, says the changes will help unlock the potential of the build-to-rent sector and ...5 days ago
- Law levels playing field for low-emissions commutingA law passed by Parliament today exempts employers from paying fringe benefit tax on certain low emission commuting options they provide or subsidise for their staff. “Many employers already subsidise the commuting costs of their staff, for instance by providing car parks,” Environment Minister David Parker said. “This move supports ...5 days ago
- 40 years of Closer Economic Relations with AustraliaToday marks the 40th anniversary of Closer Economic Relations (CER), our gold standard free trade agreement between New Zealand and Australia. “CER was a world-leading agreement in 1983, is still world-renowned today and is emblematic of both our countries’ commitment to free trade. The WTO has called it the world’s ...5 days ago
- Amendments to mass arrivals legislationThe Government is making procedural changes to the Immigration Act to ensure that 2013 amendments operate as Parliament intended. The Government is also introducing a new community management approach for asylum seekers. “While it’s unlikely we’ll experience a mass arrival due to our remote positioning, there is no doubt New ...5 days ago
- Progress on public service pay adjustmentThe Government welcomes progress on public sector pay adjustment (PSPA) agreements, and the release of the updated public service pay guidance by the Public Service Commission today, Minister for the Public Service Andrew Little says. “More than a dozen collective agreements are now settled in the public service, Crown Agents, ...5 days ago
- Further legislation introduced to support cyclone recoveryThe Government has introduced the Severe Weather Emergency Recovery Legislation Bill to further support the recovery and rebuild from the recent severe weather events in the North Island. “We know from our experiences following the Canterbury and Kaikōura earthquakes that it will take some time before we completely understand the ...6 days ago
- Recipe: Spiced biscuits
Tea drinkers of Aotearoa, your new favourite dunking bikkie is here. There are several things I love about this recipe. The first is that they make a delicious dunking biscuit, the perfect accompaniment to a cup of tea shared with friends. The second is that the recipe is ...4 hours ago - When the water rushes in: a dispatch from Hawke’s BayPart two of writer Marty Smith’s reporting from her flood-damaged home. Read part one here. Sunday 12 March, 21 days after the floods. Google Maps shows a pale blue line for the flat-lined bridge between Taradale and Waiohiki and sends you instead over the Expressway to Merge Like A Zip, ...5 hours ago
- An Ode for .. Queen Tova
Bard Billot on the booted out broadcaster Spartans, prepare for glory! The hardy army of Today FM Spartans Camps out on the harsh lands of talk radio. The long months of the campaign Have worn down their resolve, For though they have loyally broadcast Their snappy banter and hot ...8 hours ago - The last thing schools need is National's dull, narrow curriculum
The danger of National's policy is that it undoes much of an informal pact with Labour to depoliticise education at a time of real struggle Opinion: The National Party’s recently released education policy narrowly channels nearly every tired and cliched right-wing approach to schooling. If you have been in education for ...8 hours ago - The future of Wellington central library – and what made the old one so goodA refurbished, expanded and more earthquake-proof building is a still few years away. Can it live up to the impeccable postmodernist vibes of its predecessor? A long time ago, my non-Wellington then-boyfriend was visiting the windy city and asked the barber what he recommended in town. “Dunno mate,” the barber ...9 hours ago
- The Sunday Essay: Confessions of a cryptic addictDoing the cryptic crossword isn’t simply a hobby. It’s a way of life, a love affair – even a full-blown obsession. The Sunday Essay is made possible thanks to the support of Creative New Zealand. Illustrations by Asia Martusia King. Clue: Mafia boss consumed first dish free of ...9 hours ago
- Labor’s unexpected Aston win is body blow for Dutton
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michelle Grattan, Professorial Fellow, University of Canberra The rout of the Liberals in Aston is a disaster for Peter Dutton. The party has defied history – in the worst possible way. This is the first time in more than a century ...14 hours ago - Labor wins Aston byelection; NSW election and Trump polling updatesSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Adrian Beaumont, Election Analyst (Psephologist) at The Conversation; and Honorary Associate, School of Mathematics and Statistics, The University of Melbourne Morgan Hancock/AAP With 44% of enrolled voters counted in today’s Aston federal byelection, the ABC has Labor expected to win ...15 hours ago
- Labor likely to win Aston byelection; NSW election and Trump polling updatesSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Adrian Beaumont, Election Analyst (Psephologist) at The Conversation; and Honorary Associate, School of Mathematics and Statistics, The University of Melbourne Morgan Hancock/AAP With 44% of enrolled voters counted in today’s Aston federal byelection, the ABC has Labor expected to win ...16 hours ago
- The faulty logic of Stuart Nash and the Ombudsman's opportunity
Analysis - When is a cabinet minister not a cabinet minister? The faulty logic of Stuart Nash has landed him and Labour in a heap of trouble but opened the door to serious reform of the Official Information Act, Tim Watkin writes. ...1 day ago - Indonesian police move to stem rise in Papuan freedom fighter attacksJubi News in Jayapura Indonesia’s Papua police chief Inspector-General Mathius D Fakhiri has called for action to ensure that “security disturbances” in the Puncak Jaya highlands do not widen in the face of escalating attacks by pro-independence militants. “For Puncak, we will take immediate action,” he said. According to General ...1 day ago
- What’s new to Netflix NZ, Neon and other streaming services in AprilWhat are you going to be watching this month? We round up everything coming to streaming services this month, including Netflix, Amazon Prime, Disney+, Apple TV+, Neon and TVNZ+. The biggies Party Down (all seasons on TVNZ+ from April 1) Thirteen years is a long time between drinks and ...1 day ago
- Focus on Politics: New Police Minister in opposition's crosshairsGinny Andersen has landed a hot-potato portfolio and has been in Cabinet less than two months - the opposition will be eager to test her mettle this election year. ...1 day ago
- Did people spontaneously applaud the Donald Trump indictment in a Rotorua cafe?The executive producer of Modern Family has issued an incendiary claim about New Zealanders cheering and clapping in public. Hayden Donnell gets to the bottom of things. The sitcom Modern Family is remembered as a “warm-hearted story about the unbreakable bonds of family”; a tale of radically different people overcoming ...1 day ago
- ‘Holding back the tears’: Shapeshifter’s soggy summer of cancelled showsAs rain kept falling across January, February and into March, all band members cold do was sit at home cancelling festivals and posting sad Facebook messages to fans. The first post landed on January 3. As wild weather began hitting the country, campers around Northland packed up their tents ...1 day ago
- Strong communities are essential when disaster strikes
Because pro-social behaviour emerges so often after disaster, community empowerment should be central to disaster mitigation and recovery Opinion: Cyclone Gabrielle caused major damage across the North Island. This unprecedented climate event created great uncertainty. People are wondering if, or when, they can return to their homes, the extent to ...1 day ago - Short story: Le fou et la folle, by Federico Magrin
"We, women, loving you; you, men, finding new women to love": a Francophile love story in NZ Louis woke up and found out Marine was not lying next to him in bed. He checked his phone – 5:30am. The aurora shone a bright gold on the windows of the detached ...1 day ago - The Week in Detail: From Posie Parker to processed foods
Every weekday, The Detail makes sense of the big news stories. This week, we looked at how co-governance really works, Labour's record on climate action, what the new AUKUS nuclear submarine deal means for New Zealand, Posie Parker's visit to Auckland and the free speech debate, and the damage processed foods are ...1 day ago - 'Devastated': Today FM's Tova O'Brien is the canary in the economic mine
The radio workers were caught by the unexpected speed of the decline of NZ's consumer economy, since Christmas – and they won't be the last. Jonathan Milne reports. When broadcaster Tova O’Brien uttered the resounding words, "they’ve f***ed us", they resonated beyond the 1 percent audience share of a small talk radio operation ...1 day ago - Lake Onslow battery losing its charge
A New Zealand Battery Project centred on Lake Onslow in Central Otago is up against a cheaper North Island alternative Studies into whether a massive pumped-hydro scheme at Lake Onslow is New Zealand’s best bet for a secure energy future may have only four more months to run. While the ...1 day ago - The Detail's Long Read: Jungle Warfare
This is The Detail's Long Read - one in-depth story read by us every weekend. This week, it's Jungle Warfare, written by Ellen Rykers and published in New Zealand Geographic's March/April 2023 edition. You can find the full article, with photos by Adrian Malloch, here. Hundreds of pest plant species—many of them garden escapees—run rampant in ...1 day ago - The many lives of John-Paul FoliakiThe Red, White & Brass star talks spectacle, honouring family sacrifices and his debut lead role over a Tongan lunch in Otāhuhu. Name a creative pursuit and 28-year-old Tongan New Zealander John-Paul Foliaki will give it a go. That is, if he hasn’t already. Foliaki plays the lead role, Maka, ...1 day ago
- The stories of Katherine Mansfield, rankedTo mark 100 years since the great short story writer’s death, books editor Claire Mabey marathonned her collected works – these are the top 20. Reader, I did it. I read all of Katherine Mansfield’s short stories. Confession: I haven’t always been a fan. I have tedious memories of ...1 day ago
- Ekenasio steps into shoes of Magic giants
In her first season as an ANZ Premiership captain, Ameliaranne Ekenasio was nervous about filling the shoes of the legendary Magic captains before her. But, as Merryn Anderson writes, the quiet leader has the full respect of the side who voted her in. When the Waikato Bay of Plenty Magic created history ...1 day ago - What went wrong in Peter Bol’s doping case? A sport integrity expert explainsSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Catherine Ordway, Associate Professor Sport Management and Sport Integrity Lead, University of Canberra Lawyers for Australian 800-metre star Peter Bol say allegations the runner engaged in doping should be dropped after two independent labs found no evidence he used a banned substance. ...2 days ago
- ‘I feel vindicated’ – Vanuatu Daily Post in landmark work permit winVanuatu’s Supreme Court has ruled in favour of Trading Post Ltd, the owner of the Vanuatu Daily Post newspaper, BUZZ FM96 and other media outlets, in a case against the government’s refusal to renew the company’s former media director’s work permit. Dan McGarry, who served as a director of the ...2 days ago
- Stephen Jack Selected As National’s Candidate In Taieri
Balclutha-based farmer Stephen Jack has been selected by local party members as National’s candidate in Taieri for the 2023 General Election. “Taieri is my home and I’m incredibly excited to have the opportunity to campaign for a National Government ...2 days ago - Government announces new sanctions against Russia, BelarusThe government has announced another set of sanctions as part of its ongoing response to the war in Ukraine. ...2 days ago
- Week in Politics: For Labour's sake, Nash must goAnalysis - The Stuart Nash scandal has the potential to damage Labour's election chances, Marama Davidson creates controversy and Auckland's second harbour crossing to be built earlier than expected. ...2 days ago
- Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Clare JM Burns, Assistant Professor and Non-executive Director, Bond University Shutterstock The story of the Aboriginal Community Benefit Fund, whose name and marketing misled thousands of customers into believing it was Indigenous owned and run, is a stark example of ...2 days ago
- PSA: Remember to change your clocks this SundayIt’s the biannual reminder to tamper with that pesky analogue clock you still have in your kitchen for some reason (or at the least your microwave/car stereo). This Sunday at 3am, we will all gain an hour of sleep as the clocks roll back ahead of winter. Get ready for ...2 days ago
- Ombudsman reopens investigation into Nash emailsThe Chief Ombudsman has reopened his investigation into a complaint over former minister Stuart Nash's emails. ...2 days ago
- Investigation into hidden Nash email reopenedThe chief ombudsman has elected to reopen his investigation into an email from former minister Stuart Nash to a pair of donors back in 2020. The email, which only came to light this week, quickly triggered Nash’s dismissal from cabinet. But in bad news for the prime minister Chris Hipkins, ...2 days ago
- And thus, the celebration of The Bulletin’s fifth birthday comes to an endLast week we celebrated The Bulletin’s fifth birthday with Spinoff members and staff at The Spinoff’s offices in Auckland. The Bulletin launched in March 2018 seeking to curate news and great journalism and email that to people for free each weekday morning. That hasn’t changed and it’s still going strong. ...2 days ago
- Minimum Wage Increase To Make Real Difference, Says NZCTUThe biggest increase in the history of the minimum wage will have a huge impact for workers on low wages, says the New Zealand Council of Trade Unions. From tomorrow, the minimum wage will rise to $22.70, up from $21.20. This increase will benefit ...2 days ago
- Has GPT-4 really passed the startling threshold of human-level artificial intelligence? Well, it dep...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By George Siemens, Co-Director, Professor, Centre for Change and Complexity in Learning, University of South Australia agsandrew/Shutterstock Recent public interest in tools like ChatGPT has raised an old question in the artificial intelligence community: is artificial general intelligence (in this case, ...2 days ago
- Synthony postpones Auckland show due to weatherAuckland’s wet summer is delivering one final blow just in time for the weekend. The Synthony festival, due to be held on Saturday at Auckland Domain and featuring performances by Shapeshifter, Dave Dobbyn and Kimbra, has been postponed following predictions of heavy rainfall across the day. More than 20,000 people ...2 days ago
- Open Letter To GovernmentWe would like to see a temporary by-pass of the major slip on State Highway 25A built to alleviate the concerns of the residents of the Eastern Side of Coromandel. Cyclone Gabrielle inflicted substantial damage to roading on the Coromandel Peninsula. ...2 days ago
- Review: Wellmania takes wobbly aim at the wellness industryAlex Casey watches Wellmania, the new Netflix comedy starring Instagram sensation Celeste Barber. The lowdown Based on the book by journalist Brigid Delaney, Netflix comedy Wellmania follows successful yet shambolic Australian food writer Liv Bealey (Celeste Barber) as she embarks on a quest to get well as quickly as possible. ...2 days ago
- Chief Ombudsman Peter Boshier Reopens Nash InvestigationThe Chief Ombudsman Peter Boshier says he has reopened his investigation into an Official Information Act complaint about a decision by former Minister Stuart Nash. "The original enquiry was discontinued in May last year in discussion with the ...2 days ago
- NZNO Welcomes Pay Parity Move, Leaving Out GP Nurses RegrettableThe New Zealand Nurses Organisation Tōpūtanga Tapuhi Kaitiaki o Aotearoa (NZNO) has welcomed this morning’s Government announcement to address pay disparities in the nursing and kaiāwhina workforces from 1 April. NZNO Chief Executive Paul ...2 days ago
- Britain to join CPTPP Pacific trade pact this yearThe British High Commissioner to New Zealand says the United Kingdom joining the trade deal is "wonderful news". ...2 days ago
- Ingredient of the week: BroccoliDon’t let broccoli’s virtuous goody two-shoes reputation put you off – these verdant and versatile florets make the perfect addition to tray bakes, salads, soups and more. I reckon broccoli’s “superfood” status has given it a bit of a bad reputation. Because it’s so healthy (and reasonably inoffensive), its nutrients ...2 days ago
- The Friday Poem: ‘escher x nendo’ by Michele LeggottA poem from Michele Leggott’s forthcoming book Face to the Sky. escher x nendo I hear you Eddie Woo coming clear across the galleries of intercochlear space you have the measure of these galaxies earthmeasure you have the measure of their difference earthmisia you translate one world artemisia and here ...2 days ago
- The Unity Books bestseller chart for the week ending March 31The only published and available best-selling indie book chart in New Zealand is the top 10 sales list recorded every week at Unity Books’ stores in High St, Auckland, and Willis St, Wellington. AUCKLAND 1 Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus (Doubleday, $26) The new, smaller format of Bonnie Garmus’ ...2 days ago
- Curious Kids: what happens if you don’t get enough sleep?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Sarah Blunden, Professor and Head of Paediatric Sleep Research, CQUniversity Australia Shutterstock What would happen to a person if they didn’t get the sleep they needed? Hedya, age 11, Australia This is a really good question Heyda, because it ...2 days ago
- ‘The last year of my career has been wiped’: Today FM’s instant online erasureWithin hours of Duncan Garner telling listeners ‘It looks like the end of us’, the station’s website, social media and archives had been scrubbed from the internet. Right now across Auckland you can still see ads for Leo Molloy’s doomed mayoral campaign and electorate offices adorned with a smiling Jacinda ...2 days ago
- PM on Stuart Nash's email scandal: 'He should have told me about it'Prime Minister Chris Hipkins has spoken more about the Stuart Nash email scandal at a media conference at the Manurewa RSA today, saying Nash has been "ultimately held accountable". ...2 days ago
- Vanuatu hails ‘historic resolution’ in climate battle on the world stageBy Barbara Dreaver in Port Vila Vanuatu is in celebration mode after winning a significant battle on the world stage over climate change. In a United Nations resolution spearheaded by Vanuatu, the world’s top court will now advise on countries’ legal obligations to fight climate change. It also means the ...2 days ago
- FLNKS message to French PM about Kanak ‘humiliation’ over referendumBy Jan Kohout, RNZ Pacific journalist New Caledonia’s Kanak and Socialist National Liberation Front (FLNKS) say they will tell the French Prime Minister of the Kanak people’s “sense of humiliation” over the last independence referendum. The pro-independence alliance is set to talk to the French state from April 7-15. The ...2 days ago
- Watch: PM Chris Hipkins talks to media on eve of benefit increasesPrime Minister Chris Hipkins is visiting the Manurewa RSA meeting veterans who are among hundreds of thousands to receive higher payments from tomorrow. ...2 days ago
- Your weekend entertainment plan: The Big Door Prize, Unstable and The PowerThis is an excerpt from The Spinoff’s pop culture newsletter Rec Room. Sign up to have it delivered to your inbox every Friday here. If you want a middle-aged white man to play a disappointed-with-the-state-of-their-life middle-aged-white-man, you have two options: Jason Segel or Chris O’Dowd. Clearly, Segel was already busy ...2 days ago
- Four Million Milestone Reached For 2023 CensusOver four million people have returned their Individual Forms for the 2023 Census, Stats NZ said today. “This is a great milestone. We didn’t hit this milestone until 30 April in the 2018 Census. I would like to thank everybody who has been counted ...2 days ago
- Government To Cement In High Carbon FutureThe government's recent announcement of five high carbon options for the next harbour crossing has disappointed those concerned about climate change. TRAC, a rail advocacy collective, opposes the short-sighted decision, citing the urgent need to reduce ...2 days ago
- As the US pushes to make daylight saving permanent, should Australia move in the same direction?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Guzyal Hill, Senior Lecturer, Charles Darwin University Shutterstock Sunday will mark the end of the Daylight Saving Time (DST) in eastern Australia, but there are many who would like to see it last longer or permanently. Twice a year, New ...2 days ago
- Call For Evidence On Aotearoa New Zealand’s Emissions Reduction Targets And Emissions Budgets, 31 ...He Pou a Rangi Climate Change Commission has launched a call for evidence to support its work on Aotearoa New Zealand’s emissions reduction targets and emissions budgets. This call for evidence is an opportunity for anyone to share information, data and ...2 days ago
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“He’s a comic genius.”
Unlike Eddie, evidently.
Oh I found Eddie’s post hilarious! 😀
Deb
Recently, he’s been using “disconnected”, as in “disconnected from reality”, to criticise striking teachers.
As I teacher I was always puzzled by the criticism often made of teachers, which goes something like teachers don’t live/work in the real world. I found it strange because, as a teacher in the public sector, I have come into contact with diverse students, parents and communities. I’ve got to see a bit of a lot of people’s lives, their struggles and joys, etc. I think I have seen a lot more of people’s lives and realities than many people who spend a lot of their work lives shut away in an office.
But I think the only reality some business/financier types know of is a particular view of financial/economic reality. When they talk of reality, they are referrring to very slanted view on money. That’s probably the main reality that Key has knowledge of in his adult life.
Gave me a laugh. Ta Eddie.
Very funny, thanks Eddie.
Couple of other gags he might pull out are the old “I won’t put up GST…. but then I did!”
and his favourite blag de jour “We’ve set up a working group to look into that”.. outrageous laughter and fade.
I hope Betty has a sense of humour, she will need it! Gives Jonkey some real hands on experience of elderly care, perhaps we should pay him rest home staff wages.
Wow…how exciting……couldnt sleep lastnight with the excitment!!! Pathetic
How bout he focus on creating jobs rather then pissing off to Europe to add autographs to his little book!
Leave the Queen out of it, dorks.
weirdest comment yet
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i’m really pleased for him(donkey). you know, if he gets good reviews, he might just get his confidence back enough to don(no pun) the old red wig and big floppy shoes so he can go back on the road as “Ronald Mcjohnno, the clown prince of wall st” . that would be nice……….wouldn’t it?