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Mark Richardson wants to be a Nat MP

Written By: - Date published: 8:17 am, June 14th, 2019 - 102 comments
Categories: broadcasting, making shit up, Media, national, sport, the praiseworthy and the pitiful, you couldn't make this shit up - Tags:

So Mark Richardson thinks he may have a future career, from overpaid TV personality to overpaid public representative.

And he claims that he has finally picked a side, although to most of us it appears that his decision was made some time ago.

From Stuff:

“I love the competitive nature of politics and, maybe because I was a sportsman, that’s what sits well with me,” he says. 

“I’ve picked a side, I’m part of a team and you want to win and, for some reason, I love that part of the game. But it’s a game with very serious consequences, you never have to forget.”

That ‘team’ is the National Party, of which Richardson is a vocal supporter. However, he does softly chuckle in apparent agreement when it’s suggested his side could use him on the pitch right about now. 

But with his career in broadcasting still, “Going quite well,” as he modestly frames it, joining the parliamentary ranks now and giving up his work in media is “Out of the question”.

“I’m not yet prepared to walk away from that,” he says. “Maybe that’ll be my retirement gig – three years in Parliament, being a backbencher and being a pain in the ass and trying to set the record for how many times I get kicked out of Parliament.” 

So Mark promises to bring his innate talents as a batsman, so magnificent that his teammates chose for him the nickname Rigor as in Rigor mortis, to our house of representatives. I can hardly wait.

I think he will want to somehow wind back this event:

I do not think he will succeed.  The level of boorish stupidity he showed on that occasion was too much to be undone …

102 comments on “Mark Richardson wants to be a Nat MP ”

  1. Chris T 1

    It is pretty funny how much he winds people up tbf.

    • lprent 1.1

      Well – boring stupid misogynist fuckwits who drone about things that they don’t understand tend to do that.

      Particularly those ones without a sense of humour who seem to think that they're funny.

      It goes around – you seem to get that reaction as well… I wonder why?

      • Chris T 1.1.1

        Amanda Gillies is there to even things out

        • lprent 1.1.1.1

          Who? …. looks up the net. Urrgh – several saccharine self-promotional puff pieces later.

          Remember that I find our commercial radio and TV pretty repugnant – and that is even before I hear / see the adverts. So I seldom get exposed to the dribbling of such idiots unless they manage to handle a keyboard and write something. I can read a whole lot faster than waiting for the endless tedium of broadcast style media to slowly present information.

          But I have to say that she looks like a fine candidate as well for the Nats as well.

          It really is kind of hard for me (as a hard working computer programmer) to see what else most sports people and radio presenters are good for after they become unemployable in their role as advertising magnets.

          Sometimes they make it as PR. But if that doesn’t work out, then becoming National candidates seems like a good career move for personable parasites.

          • McFlock 1.1.1.1.1

            But they have to be personable parasites, as Hosking and Henry discovered

          • JohnSelway 1.1.1.1.2

            Oh, you're a computer programmer?

            I'm glad you said because it isn't like you've ever said that before.

            (BTW – you need better epitaphs. Almost every comment is "fuckwits" and "dickheads")

            • Incognito 1.1.1.1.2.1

              Lynn’s comments are only meant to be read by you. I thought that was rather obvious.

            • Psycho Milt 1.1.1.1.2.2

              I've often wondered if "fuckwit" or "dickhead" will be my epitaph. Not wondered enough to do anything to ensure it won't be, mind you.

              • McFlock

                I'm trying to think of something pithy like:

                Here I lie, in the only deep hole I didn't dig for myself.

                Knowing my luck I'll come up with the exact right one, but drop dead before I can tell anyone. ISTR something similar almost happened to the guy who first decyphered the rosetta stone – ran so far to tell his brother than he had a stroke just as he got there. Took weeks to recover enough to say what he'd done.

                • In Vino

                  Surely John Selway meant epithets, not epittaths?

                  Good replies, though.

                  • McFlock

                    I suspect you are correct – but given we don't know for sure, John's comment critical is of an hypothetical epithetical quality…

            • lprent 1.1.1.1.2.3

              So dipshit – why would you think I care what you think?

              You seem to have the same level of coherence in your thinking as Mark Richardson or those puff-pieces about Amanda whatever. Not to mention you don’t seem to have any life experience that you find worth mentioning here. It makes it hard to be bothered by anything you write about.

              In fact it seems to make you a bit of a null-entity. Have you thought about a career in radio or trying to be an National MP?

      • Al 1.1.2

        Beautifully put Iprent – was thinking about the stupidity of the previous post and your post put things well into perspective – thanks for the laugh – now back to work!

  2. Irascible 2

    His ambition to set a record for the number of times he is booted out of The House certainly shows the public that he is a total and complete fool.

  3. Sabine 3

    Well, he is about as National as is Simon No Bridges and Paula Benefit. Swarmy, noisy, shouty even, but nothing to say really.

  4. Rapunzel 4

    Good – another example, if the public actually needed any more, of the flippant self-interest of National Party politics – times move on and with friends anything like Crosby Textor or other similar neanderthal advice or opinion who needs enemies?

  5. dv 5

    Electorate or List?

  6. Sabine 6

    Mind tho, the image used in this post would make for an awesome billboard.

  7. Sanctuary 7

    What, a bigoted, well off, white middle aged media blowhard wants to be a National MP?

    Pretty crowded in the media market for that MO I guess, what with Hosking and Larry Williams and Duncan Garner all blowing harder than a fat dad after the annual school egg and spoon race. I suppose old rigor is banking an insurance policy against the ratings knife?

    And how will we be able to discern him from all the other bigoted, well off, white middle aged blowhards in their caucus?

    I guess they just have to dump one of those Chinese MPs they promised the Chinese Communist Party they'd put on the list.

    I hope Mark Richardson can make up the cash difference to the party coffers!

    • Rapunzel 7.1

      Mind you the pickings might be a bit lean, they'll be taking all-comers I reckon pre election selection next year.

      Can anyone see Bridges staying on when he finally gets dumped? As for his prospects then, ooer. He's lost 50% of the years of experience in the legal sector and I can't see him interviewing well – imagine it a became leader of what became a laughing stock and opening labelled staff as "f'n" useless as well as being open to bribes in the selling off of positions.

      Mind you JLR might be a free agent by then and as he did all Bridges PR there might be a case for the old team to get together again.

      • Dukeofurl 7.1.1

        Not at all.

        They dont want him.

        hes not going to bring voters to national who arent already there.

        getting a winnable list spot is out of the question, as those are generally captains picks aiming at cultural diversity ( or fund raising)

    • ROFL ! @ Sanctuary !

      Nice one !

  8. Gosman 8

    Why is this any different to any other television personality wanting to become an MP? There are multiple examples across the political spectrum of this.

    • workingman 8.1

      Not sure gossie. I would have thought that MS would by now be trumpeting the achievements of the COL in all areas.

      Can't find any perhaps?

    • woodart 8.2

      possibly because he is already a wannabe. average sportsperson leveraging one career to start another, now trying to leverage into yet another. at least paul henry did actually have some skills in broadcasting before he tried the jump.

      • Cricklewood 8.2.1

        Pretty fucken good test opener if you ask me. Not the most talented but jeez very strong mentally to play within the limit of his talent as he did.

        Avg of 44 is right up there world wide for test opening bats.

    • mac1 8.3

      Gosman, I wanted to say this, too, but I couldn't actually name names, especially across the spectrum. Who in your thinking are the television personalities wanting to be MPs especially across the spectrum? I thought of Maggie Barry and Lockwood Smith straight away. Who else?

    • Timeforacupoftea 8.4

      My Husband is a coal miner would be make the list on the National Pardy

  9. mac1 9

    I'd like to see an intelligent discussion of the qualities required to be 1. a successful shock jock radio host aka media 'personality' or a successful sportsman; and 2. a successful MP, Cabinet Minister, PM.

    I ask this because my gut feeling is that the qualities required might be incompatible in a large degree except in the issue of getting elected where fame, verbal skills, publicity flair, looks and charm are assets.

    Is there more even than the qualities needed for my MP's current advertising- "Let's Talk- I'm Listening"?

    • mauī 9.1

      Richardson was successful in sport because of his extremely dogged and negative approach that sought to nullify the opposition. Probably ok if you're playing a game with minor consequences or if your name is Bridges. But when people's welfare is on the line, an approach that is morally disgusting.

      • Cricklewood 9.1.1

        Got no idea about cricket do ya… He made the best of his talent and ended up with an avg amongst the very bestand better still knew when to call it quits. Now that's something politicians across the spectrum could learn from.

        • mauī 9.1.1.1

          Looking back now an average among NZ's best at the time isn't much to crow about in an era of underperforming kiwi batsmen. Calling him world class would be a stretch. Had a below par strike rate for an opener and had a fairly short career really. Flem played almost 3 times as many tests and managed a slightly lower 40+ avg.

    • mac1 9.2

      This 2015 RNZ article would be a good starter for why TV personalities go into politics.

      https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/political/289254/why-tv-personalities-get-into-politics

  10. Peter 10

    He would fly in in Botany or somewhere similar.

    • woodart 10.1

      think most of the nth shore seats have already been sold by the natz. the money has been used to pay off eminem.

  11. Stuart Munro. 11

    Given the dearth of talent he could probably lead them. But he is not by any stretch of the imagination going to improve the governance either of National or of NZ. Which would have him self-disqualify – were he not an odious, self-serving gobshite.

  12. Jimmy 12

    He may as well stand for National. He makes no secret of the party he supports so good luck to him as I cant see he will do National much good.

    Mike Hosking may as well stand for National too.

    • woodart 12.1

      if a smarmy gits party starts, they could be poster boi's

    • Dukeofurl 12.2

      National has plenty of 'really rich' older white guys waiting in the wings – its a log jam.

      Richardson isnt really rich , thats his schtick. being a presenter means he really doesnt have higher level business skills and yes he comes across well on TV , but he doesnt have anything to say other than pre scripted lines. These sort of shows do a lot prep trying making it look 'natural'

      In reality National party finds it more worthwhile to target younger more diverse candidates with real skills

      Dan Bidois, Agnes Loheni , Paulo Garcia are examples of people they have gone after.

      The wannabes ? They are knew deep in those in their safe electorates

  13. ianmac 13

    For National to select him would show just how low National needs to go in order to fill the List.

  14. higherstandard 14

    Nice trolling from Rigor, judging by the post and comments it's had the desired effect.

    • MickeyBoyle 14.1

      Exactly, he's been saying the same thing since the AM show began, it's never going to happen. Richardson knows that it winds certain people up, and looking at some of the responses, he's correct again.

    • Rapunzel 14.2

      Trolling? He's hinted at it so many times and been ignored so he had to spell it, that's not trolling it's attention seeking – gives everyone a laugh though.

  15. Tiger Mountain 15

    Another “don’t you know who I am…” style Nat crawler, preaching self reliance while being a gouging neo rentier…

  16. KJT 16

    He would raise the intelligence level of both broadcasting, and, the National caucus, by moving.

    Hat tip to Muldoon.

  17. AB 17

    Friday riddle:

    If Simon told Jamie that one Chinese is worth two Indians, how many Mark Richardsons is Virat Kohli worth?

  18. Drowsy M. Kram 18

    https://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/tv-radio/106405772/the-carefully-managed-brand-of-mark-richardson

    Maybe Richardson considered the political 'successes' of the Donald (US president), and Boris (UK Prime Minister in waiting), and thought "Why not, my ego is big enough."

    Best not underestimate the political power of ego; fortunately a little muddo, dildo, eggo or milko can temporarily deflate an enlarged ego.

    https://www.nzherald.co.nz/treaty-of-waitangi/news/article.cfm?c_id=350&objectid=3547561
    Mud thrown at Brash at marae

    https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=12007600
    Steven Joyce's Greatest Hits – the dildo incident, egg head and red-face

    https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-48441185
    Australia's 'Egg Boy' gives donations to NZ attack survivors

    https://www.stuff.co.nz/world/europe/112870487/brexiteer-nigel-farage-splattered-in-milkshake-attack

  19. roy cartland 19

    He used to be on that sports show with Hayley Holt and that other guy, who would tear him out every night. He's nowhere near quick-witted enough, he'd get eaten alive.

    He's perfect.

  20. marty mars 20

    Yes yes yes – get the parachute ready – the NEW gnat leader is upon us – he raises the bar from the current mob – he is smarter than them all, he has that smile where his eyes don't smile, better than jude or paula, he has idiotic cut through and some minor 3rd rate name recognition – he is confident based upon his inane stupidity, privilege and general belief in his own bullshit. He is PERFECT.

  21. Being only focused on winning – with no thoughts about what to do next – makes him absolute Nat material. But he won't fit the culture of this caucus because their approach to winning is to make the other side lose – when "Rigor's" spin bowling skills declined he concentrated on batting.

  22. I can't believe how young Jacinda looked in 2017, her job must be very stressful, she looks twenty years older now

    • AB 22.1

      Awww, how sweet, you big empathetic softie!

      On the other hand – I absolutely can believe how identical your bad faith comments in 2019 look just like your bad faith comments since forever. Obviously not enough stress going on in the 'Naki.

    • Gabby 22.2

      She must be working for a living Nasti Man.

    • Cinny 22.3

      It's called parenting, look around at any new parent. And being a new parent and the mum of a nation would absolutely be hard work. Personally I think she is doing an amazing job.

  23. Adrian 23

    He was called Rigor because of his lack of sprinting speed in the field. As a batsman he was world class and almost the perfect opener.

    A little bit of unbiased research would show that Richardson has a quality sadly missing in almost all politicians. He does not take himself seriously and allows himself to be the fall-guy in most situations.

    A CGW " ïnterview "with Stephen Fleming is a case in point, while attempting to interview SF, he is excoriated by Fleming and all his abilities and foibles laid bare. They are good mates actually. That Richardson is up for this on TV is rare among the TV "personalities "as they are almost exclusifly the most vain glorious bunch of vacuous self-important boofheads about.

    I suspect Richardson has a bit more depth than is generally assumed.

    • AB 23.1

      Everbody has more depth than is generally assumed. So saying this about Richardson doesn't amount to much. It has very little to do with individuals.The issue with Richardson is that he has aligned himself with an economic ideology of aggressive self-seeking and devil take the hindmost. He is therefore toxic to the possibility of a society worth living in.

      • jingyang 23.1.1

        @A.B – not necessarily. It is entirely possible (and in Richardson's case highly likely) to waste a lot of time with some people looking for depth that isn't there to find in the first place. One of my ex-s come to mind…

    • Rapunzel 23.2

      Depth? He's fathomed most of them.

  24. Gabby 24

    Why would the gnatsies pay for what they're getting for free?

    • bwaghorn 24.1

      Are you sure hes free?? He certainly seems to be right up to play running nationals lines and lies on the sm show.

      It's a shame garners is such a thick motron or he'd call him on it.

  25. MickeyBoyle 25

    People need to relax, he's taking the piss. Learn to take a joke before you try to deplatform a guy for a differing opinion.

    • I feel love 25.1

      Everyone is taking the piss, out of Richardson, so what's your point?

      • Adrian 25.1.1

        That he sets himself up for having the piss taken out of him, Therefore the ego is nowhere near as large as you assume, Don't confuse the act with the actor.
        Look at his statement on Pike River re-entry and spending time talking with the homeless before you write him off.

    • mauī 25.2

      Right wing comedians are the big thing these days, jokes about sexism and climate are especially popular…

      • bewildered 25.2.1

        Cant you just a be a comedian, does everything in life have to be badged rightwing leftwing On your logic Richardson was a right wing opening batsman I assume by your handle you are a left wing Maori vs just a Maori, is a left wing Maori better than a centre right Maori, see how pathetic this badging sounds This constant identity badging at a cultural levels means simply more division and less people of different political persuasion interacting outside of political bs

  26. Puckish Rogue 26

    Selecting my openers for a NZ XI I'd give Richardson the nod over Wright (although I concede Wright faced tougher bowling) and Sutcliffe (because I never watched him play) in partnering up with Turner

  27. Wayne 27

    He seems to think of it as a retirement job. That is what he has actually said. Well, no-one will pick him on that basis.

    He is not really someone for the list, so that means if he really wants to be an MP, he will have to go into a competitive selection for an electorate seat and then win that selection.

    The members of the relevant electorate organisation will only select someone if they think he/she is really serious, and has potential to be a Cabinet Minister.

    I am sure Mark will be told all this.

    I would also add that he is already at the upper age band for selection as a new candidate.

    But MickeyBoyle might be right, it is all a bit of a joke to wind people up. Which he seems to be doing.

  28. Cinny 28

    He's a sport presenter and should stick to that on Morning TV, it's embarrassing how much he promotes his wanna be career. Biased as commentary from him and shameful self promotion.

    Meanwhile on the other network we find absolute professionalism from Hayley Holt, sure she stood for the Greens last election but you don't see or hear her going on and on about it.

    At a guess ratings are plummeting for Newshub and climbing for Breakfast.

    • infused 28.1

      they aren't. breakfast is a weak show.

      • Cinny 28.1.1

        Over the first three weeks Campbell co-hosted the programme, the audience reach of 25-54 year olds never dipped below 220,000. Its competitor the AM Show, never scored above 205,000 for that same age bracket.

    • Bewildered 28.2

      Haley’s presents ok re auto cue but she is a bit vacuous or stunned opossum in headlights when she needs to go off script or interview Both breakfast shows are appalling Sky Au is a far better watch

      • Cinny 28.2.1

        Australian media is some of the most suppressed in the western world. But hey Belwildered if that's where you get your news, it probably explains a whole lot about your outlook.

        “”Australia’s defamation laws are among the most onerous in the western world and journalists in Australia are bound by restrictions which are inexplicable to those in other countries, where free speech protections are designed to enforce the public’s right to know,” Mr Murphy said in a statement.”

        https://www.canberratimes.com.au/story/6103837/media-freedom-in-decline-union-survey/?cs=14231

        • Dukeofurl 28.2.1.1

          Thats absurd – 'some of the most supressed'

          Defamation is often about saying things that arent true but most cases dont involve media at all

          https://inforrm.org/2019/01/04/top-10-defamation-cases-of-2018-a-selection-suneet-sharma/

          Heres a summary.

          Does Alan Jones telling big fat lies and then his station making a payout really 'supression'

          Court considered the defamatory statements to be of the highest seriousness, implicating the four Wagner’s in multiple deaths. An award of $3.7m in damages was made in total, with each of the claimants receiving a substantial award of aggravated damages due to Jones “vicious and spiteful” conduct.

  29. McFlock 29

    Oh, I reckon he'd be a pretty typical nat MP. He's certainly got the entitlement complex going on. Not only does he assume he'll get selected for parliament, he assumes he'll break records.

  30. infused 30

    it was known months ago. he actually wants to lead national btw.

  31. Michelle Gray 31

    he can take simons place he might poll higher

  32. Hanswurst 32

    Meh. Richardson was one of the best opening batsmen NZ has ever had. The nickname "Rigor" stuck because he and his team mates had a sense of humour. He is a good sports commentator and a naturally funny guy, who would probably be completely unsuited to any sort of serious politics.

    I would also point out that c this is not the first time he has casually mused and an interview about being a National MP, and doesn't read even vaguely like any kind of concrete ambition. Nor is it terribly remarkable that a gifted sporting personality holds since dickhead political views.

  33. Exkiwiforces 33

    I’m off to the Boxing Test this yr and here is my banner for the Test.

    Vote 1 for

    Rigor for

    NZ Greens

    just need his tweeter handle

  34. peterlepaysan 34

    Poor prick clearly feels neglected and needs attention. Please God let the Natz use him as a candidate. Ngaro and Seymour might be miffed by being marginalised.

  35. Rae 35

    If he, for a millisecond, was thinking of going into politics because he saw a need for some good to be done (even if it is his idea of it), then he would not be waiting for a more "convenient" time. Doing something worthwhile almost never happens at a convenient time.

    Just cements the notion that he is only into anything for one thing, and one thing alone. We all know what that is.

  36. patricia bremner 36

    When a "white rich old guy " holds up a sign of self promotion… well…. LMFAO.

  37. Matthew Whitehead 38

    I think usually a personality is a requisite of being a TV personality. He's more of an outrage machine, so probably perfect for the modern nats.

  38. JustMe 39

    The main reason why I don't bother watching TV3 News is because there is Mark Richardson.

    Cannot stand the twerp. Perhaps too many hits by balls to his head have affected his mind.

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    2 weeks ago
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  • A Progressive Agenda
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