National’s social media is starting to suck

Written By: - Date published: 8:13 am, May 31st, 2017 - 46 comments
Categories: bill english, Media, national, national/act government, Politics, same old national, social media lolz, the praiseworthy and the pitiful, you couldn't make this shit up - Tags:

Back in the day National’s media and its social media were extraordinary.  John Key flounced around, had selfies with drag queens, instagrams with school kids and mostly avoided the temptation of pulling their ponytails.  People thought he was a bit of a laugh and National was OK and not at all scary like it used to be.  And National won three elections in a row.

Then John Key decided to go for some unknown reason and Bill English took over.  And Crosby Textor retreated.  At least I presume so because from what I have seen recently National’s social media is about as inspiring as Theresa May’s speeches.

The above photo that I grabbed from their website is clear evidence of the decline in their social media.  I cannot help but look at it and wonder What the Actual F&*%?

Because the photo is the perfect representation of all that is wrong with this Government.

Older white guy is having fun and remembering days of old.  And hogging the bat.

Meanwhile young kids look on waiting for a chance, but the old white guy refuses to give them a turn.  They can wait.  When will it be their turn?

Michael Cullen famously said after that 2008 election loss that the feeling in the electorate was that it was time to give National a turn just like in beach cricket.  Memo to Bill English, time to give our young people a turn.  Time to go.

The picture reminds me of  competitive dad cricket …

46 comments on “National’s social media is starting to suck ”

  1. Carolyn_nth 1

    And in that Nat cricket pic: the boys are with dad, presumably waiting to follow in his footsteps. meanwhile the girl is standing on the margins, looking a little left out.

    It’s a white man’s colonialist world. Cricket, the game of old imperial England.

    Though, I did play backyard cricket with my bros as a child. Dad was probably off playing bowls.

    • greywarshark 1.1

      And Dad is available in the weekend, to play with the kids, and hopefully humble himself enough to let them have the bat, and he get some exercise fielding. But that is not how power people generally act.

      The others, Dad can’t afford a bat, somebody has pinched theirs, he has to help a mate shift to another rented house, he is not feeling good after raising his spirits last night, can’t be bothered with these damned kids, got too many worries to set aside, too depressed and negative.

      • UncookedSelachimorpha 1.1.1

        And the other dad has worked 70 hours at his three minimum wage jobs and is too tired to play cricket

    • NZJester 1.2

      The boys look very nervous and intent on protecting their junk. They know National Party members are known for hurting people where it is most painful. Including their own.

  2. ianmac 2

    But Bill is looking deeply into the future while the kids know their place which is stand still and be grateful. So apt.

    • AB 2.1

      Yeah – but go to the next frame. Jacinda has just bowled one on a good length nipping in a little from outside off.
      Bill has misjudged the length, gone leg-side, missed and will shortly be regretting not wearing a box. Kids behind the stumps will erupt in glee – Bill will call them “pretty useless” as he limps off. Scoreboard reads:
      “W. English retired hurt 0”

  3. The decrypter 3

    That is not a bat double dipper is wielding ,its a cleaver.

    • Bearded Git 3.1

      In the picture English has just made a slog to cow corner which is symbolic of the crude policies and actions of this government. It’s a 20-20 administration.

      I look forward to Little’s elegant off-drive at the Basin Reserve.

      • AB 3.1.1

        And why is he playing cricket in a ‘business’ shirt instead of a tee-shirt like a normal person?

  4. Bill 4

    Not that any of the children appear enthusiastic or anything, but I’m thinking the wee boy at his shoulder looks particularly unimpressed and fed up.

  5. roy cartland 5

    Ah but look closely at the stumps. They’re askew… is his shoe back-kicking into them? Has he hit what he thinks is a golden six, but instead flubbed his own base and is too hubrid to realise, shamefully blundering out for a duck?

  6. Draco T Bastard 6

    I look at that picture and see the delusional US.

  7. Carolyn_nth 7

    Number two son is leaning towards the red team, behind dad’s back.

  8. left_forward 8

    Absolutely spot on MS.
    Unsurprisingly the ‘inclusive – free play’ beach cricket metaphor is entirely missed here by the Nats. Choosing instead the imagery of the competitive selfish dad, demonstrating his individual prowess in whacking the ball – with some poor child having to run and collect it from the pond.

  9. Adrian Thornton 9

    I hate to be negative here, but when it comes to having bad PR strategists Labour is doing pretty good itself…whomever is handling Little’s PR should be taken out side and beaten with sticks…imagine letting your party leader go on RNZ yesterday to let himself get into some low rent debate about the tiny details in the National budget, just embarrassing for Little, and for no gain whatsoever.

    Like it or nor public optics are important, and how they are handled is vital in today’s politics, and especially when your political parties are fundamentally now so similar.

    What ever you want to say about Key, you have to admit he had the slickest PR team NZ has ever seen in politics…remember this beautifully handled masterpiece from his PR team….
    …Key loses the flag referendum,…that same week two magazines have Key and his wife on the front cover of one, and Keys wife on the other, now that just didn’t happen, that was planned and set up months before, win or lose, those positive cover stories helped Key and National…that is how you do political PR.

    I am certainly not endorsing this type of politicking, but you can’t help but admire it’s effective delivery, I mean they helped turn and maintain the image of an arsehole multimillionaire gambling addict as just a regular bloke that you would want to have at your BBQ.

    • Why be negative at all – what’s the point? what are you getting from being negative and picky?

      You’ve spent 99% of your comment gushing about the gnats.

    • ” you would want to have at on your BBQ.”

      fify

      • David Mac 9.2.1

        ‘pssst, that’s not the seating plan, it’s the menu…could you take your clothes off and roll in this please?’

    • David Mac 9.3

      I think here is the place to have conversations like this, we’re all voting left regardless. Election campaigning is show business. I don’t think Andrew or Bill are particularly bad showmen, they’re just not natural song and dance men. John was jolly good at it, got picked for a lead role every school play. Bill and Andy started as trees and peaked with 2 of the 3 wise men.

      Yes Adrian, given Labour’s primary objection to the budget it was inevitable that interviewers would be drilling down to questions that revolve around percentages and numbers, with babies and without, part-time vs fulltime workers. I think you’re right, Andy needed to try and avoid the boring confusing finer details, say something like..

      “I could go into the finer details but frankly, it would be jolly boring and confusing radio. For those interested in those details, they’re on the Labour website. The fact remains: 44,000 Kiwi families will come out of this budget with less money. We don’t think that’s fair.”

      It doesn’t matter if we like or not, politics is show business and it’s a show that not many kiwis are interested in. Attention must be grabbed. The stage lighting all gets turned up to full at election time. Andy doesn’t need to be Bono, a Leonard Cohen would work too.

      • weka 9.3.1

        “we’re all voting left regardless.”

        Some people are going to vote Peters/NZF, which risks a 4th term Nact got, or a Labour dragged further to the centre one.

        Leonard Cohen, crikey.

        • David Mac 9.3.1.1

          Yeah weka, that situation intrigues me. It may well be a trend that continues with Shane jumping into Winston’s Waka.

          I think as we age we become conservative, I don’t mean in a political sense, I mean we accumulate stuff to conserve. Memories, toys, family, property. Different things do become more important to us. A family BBQ over a night of lasers and thumping music.

          Winston pitches right into this group, it’s as much an age thing as it is a political persuasion thing. It’s a group of people that is expanding at a helluva rate. It’s a group of people that do watch the news, they can name 10 politicians, they care about NZ’s wellbeing. They’re the people with a few $ in their pockets.

          The MOU is being under utilised. Let the Greens skew towards the youngsters, Labour could address this trend you speak of and start asking some of these people “So why Winston?” and addressing whatever is pushing their Jump Ship buttons.

          A Fedora does amazing things for Andy’s swagger.

      • JamieB 9.3.2

        Come out with less money, or come out with a smaller increase than other demographics?

        They are quite different things.

  10. And Bill English has just smacked the ball and lost it – that photo DOES show everything wrong with English and the gnats – love it

  11. BM 11

    If you knew anything about cricket, you’d know that those kids are the slip field.

    The look on the kid’s faces is no doubt annoyance with the bowler’s poor line and length, down leg again so off to the boundary for another four or six, depending if English has got his eye in yet.

    • marty mars 11.1

      Check out the faces of the kids mate – english is just losing votes like a bucket with holes in it – we’ve all seen wankers like that when they play kids cricket.

    • joe90 11.2

      His follow-through says the ball’s over the fence and as we all know, over the fence is OUT!.

    • mauī 11.3

      What sort of wanker smashes the ball over midwicket when there’s kids waiting behind you for catching practice. Their hands aren’t even ready for a catch so demoralised are they seeing Bill reliving his glory days for the Gore XI.

      Any normal polly would be wicketkeeping as Jack comes into bowl to Mary, that way Bill can still be the centre of it all and show he cares about other people. Odds on he would be sledging the kids from behind the stumps though.

    • left_forward 11.4

      Yes, yes, got it BM – Bill’s like a gladiator, wielding his sword, ruthlessly punishing the poor quality delivery, cutting through the crap and winning the day, and not sparing a moment’s thought for the loser – perfect image for a nat leader.

    • AB 11.5

      No way all those kids are in the slips. If the shot is taken from about mid-off the guy in the middle is the keeper, the girl’s at first slip and the boy in red is at an unusually fine leg-slip.
      To me it looks like Bill has made a silly, over-confident hack at one – trying to hoick it from around off through wide mid-on.
      Highly unlikely that he’s hit it at all what with lifting his head like that, As I said up-thread, most likely it’s seamed back at him and got him flush in the nuts.
      He’s about as good at batting as John Key is at hammering nails.
      The beatific smile on his face is ludicrous too – no real player ever does that because they are too focused and intense.

  12. saveNZ 12

    Love to see this approach, for our NZ election. It’s racing up the music charts and overtaking the pop stars!

    ‘Liar Liar’ song about Theresa May soars to number two in iTunes download chart

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxN1STgQXW8

    • weka 12.1

      they presumably has less stringent electioneering rules in the UK 😉

      • shorts 12.1.1

        seems they have similar rules if not virtually the same – radio et al in the UK can’t play the song – I wonder if the Darren Watson case here has been noted regarding freedom of expression, hence no take down of youtube nor iTunes

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darren_Watson

        • weka 12.1.1.1

          Thanks, that’s good to know, and it does make sense that it’s still on youtube then

      • saveNZ 12.1.2

        Isn’t it called freedom of speech?

        • weka 12.1.2.1

          By some. But I’m grateful for electioneering rules, other wise the rich conservatives would be controlling the story even more than they already do.

    • AB 12.2

      I see May uses the “brighter future” slogan too.
      We need a “Bullshit Bingo – Crosby Textor Version”

  13. greywarshark 13

    That’s not Bill English, it’s a cardboard cut-out.

    That’s my first photo-op for the day, Bill tells his loving and supportive wife.

    I’m sorry he says, that the stresses of Parliament have stymied our wish field a cricked team of our own.

    An admiring media hound or sycophant says to Bill, ‘You batted that away well”. and he answers with his iconic wry grin, “Yes, that’s what I do best”.

    • Draco T Bastard 13.1

      Think Bill’s got about eleven kids so could field his own cricket team. Probably explains why he got the tax payer to pay for his Wellington home and the cleaning.

    • That’s not Bill English, it’s a cardboard cut-out.

      fify

  14. Ant 14

    The kids glazed and expressionless like the non-voting youth of our country….

  15. weka 15

    here’s the updated version of the photo, with handy notes 😉

    “Clint Smith‏ @ClintVSmith

    I love that the Nats’ new infographic has English trying to smash away the ball at a kids’ cricket match and getting bowled instead.”

    https://twitter.com/ClintVSmith/status/869687538897657856

    • left_forward 15.1

      Haha – an alternative truth!
      I didn’t think he had the look of somebody with sufficient focus and coordination to hit a ball.

  16. shorts 16

    it really is a testament of our times

    grown up hogs bat and judging by the kids faces the grown up also refuses to share hence the look of sad realisation they’ll never get to bat

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  • Comprehensive Partnership the goal for NZ and the Philippines
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  • Inflation coming down, but more work to do
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  • School attendance restored as a priority in health advice
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  • Unnecessary bureaucracy cut in oceans sector
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  • Patterson promoting NZ’s wool sector at International Congress
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    7 days ago
  • Prime Minister Luxon acknowledges legacy of Singapore Prime Minister Lee
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  • PMs Luxon and Lee deepen Singapore-NZ ties
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  • Antarctica New Zealand Board appointments
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