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National’s weekend of blind panic

Written By: - Date published: 7:01 am, August 14th, 2017 - 53 comments
Categories: national, useless, you couldn't make this shit up - Tags: , , , , , ,

I have never seen so much panic out of National in a single weekend.

Let’s start with the desperate lies over Labour’s plan to clean up our water with a minor tax on irrigation. National (Boag on Q&A) and proxies started going on about $18 cabbages (the actual “cost increase would be around half a cent) and the like. The Nats get their crazy numbers by pretending that Labour’s plans include rainfall (they don’t) and multiplying everything by 1000 because they can’t tell the difference between a litre and a cubic meter. It’s either incompetence or it’s deliberate scaremongering, take your pick, but either way it’s panic city.

Then there was the proposal to bring back bootcamps, failed policy from 2008. They don’t work. Everyone knows they don’t work – they increase rates of re-offending (really excellent piece on The Spinoff). Even National’s science advisor knows they don’t work. But The Nats have re-announced bootcamps anyway, because in a blind panic you reach out to shore up your angry, fearful base.

Just in case bootcamps aren’t stupid enough, how about that plan for a youth curfew? ” Police will be able to fine parents when children are out unsupervised between midnight and 5am”. Using their own logic and level of debate (just for once) you have to ask yourself why Nanny State Nasty National hates and punishes parents? Will kids carry ID papers? Will paperboys and girls and early morning trainers be exempt? Do you think the police are going to be thrilled to be waking people up at 1am to administer “instant fines for parents of under-14s unsupervised on the street at night”? If the parents can’t or won’t pay the fine do they get carted off to jail in their jammies? WHAT IF THEY AREN’T EVEN WEARING ANY JAMMIES??? Phew – I think I should stop channeling Nat logic now – and just call this stupid, impractical, panicked policy on the hoof.

All that in one weekend. Whatever will they think of next?





And just as a bonus social media fail:
https://twitter.com/bentorkington/status/896624063229050881
Hilarity ensues:


https://twitter.com/JohnKeyMustGo/status/896672002617950208
https://twitter.com/bentorkington/status/896644888380325888
and many more…

53 comments on “National’s weekend of blind panic”

  1. Abbi 1

    Please stop picking on national.. this is all part of their plan to lose the next election.. please let them lose gracefully..

  2. Incognito 2

    Good post but I’d wonder whether the Prime Minister’s Chief Science Advisor, Professor Sir Peter Gluckman, would object to being called “National’s science advisor”.

  3. lol so funny that tweet of bill english having a fake family walk on the beach – while it is actually pissing down – fail. sad. – I’ve found an $18 cabbage and it is called bill.

    As they get more desperate they will do more dirty tricks including some really dirty ones.

  4. Tautoko Mangō Mata 4

    I see Chris Finlayson is trying to scare voters that Labour’s water policy will stir up Treaty of Waitangi issues. National are using the Audrey Young column.

    Treaty warning over Labour’s water tax
    Treaty Negotiations Minister Chris Finlayson is warning that Labour’s water taxes could force existing full-and-final Treaty of Waitangi settlements to be opened for renegotiation with iwi.
    He said the policy overturned accepted policy of successive Labour and National Governments of the past 25 years that no one owned the water.
    Governments applying a tax on water was an assertion of Crown ownership “and then that gives rise to the counter assertion that Maori own water”.
    “They are dicing with death, quite frankly,” he told the Herald.

    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11903486

    At the bottom of the article was this:

    The chairman of the New Zealand Maori Council, Sir Edward Taihakurei Durie, said if legislation was put through to give effect to Labour policy, it need not open up existing treaty settlements.
    “It is not a free lunch for Maori, but something that would give employment to our young people.
    “We are pretty much in line with what the Labour Party is saying except we would apply it to all commercial users.”
    Domestic users should not pay.

    • Eco maori 4.1

      National are so predictable using scare mongering tactics to get votes Bill will trough any one under the bus to keep in power.That is why Labour need to attack national image any chance they gets

  5. Sanctuary 5

    Panic stricken isn’t half of it. Farrar has gone full sleezeball with an appalling David Garret muck raking piece that is really rather base and vulgar. I guess the idea of having to trim the budget and holiday at home once National is back in opposition is truly terrifying for David Farrar.

    Perhaps the link should be emailed to Jim Mora, he can ponder if Mr. Farrar is really the sort of character he would want on the oh so proper Tory vicar’s tea party he runs in the afternoon.

  6. Keith 6

    “It’s either incompetence or it’s deliberate scaremongering, take your pick…”

    Nah, its just plain old lying, its what they do.

    I mean Chris Findlayson, a minister of the honesty starved Key government no less, why is his word being accepted as some kind of reference on water? Seriously? An objective voice?? FFS, its so disingenuous.

    Focus grouping must be telling them to attack any possibility of our water being exported by foreign companies for almost no cost to them for profit for Nationals donors and shareholders, or otherwise the party is over for the very few!

    • BM 6.1

      Chris Findlayson is the Treaty of Waitangi Negotiations Minister.

      • tc 6.1.1

        And self appointed QC.

      • Eco maori 6.1.2

        And Chris Finlayson will ramp up the bullshit about treat settlement water or any type hype to try to keep National in parliament who cares about the damage it does to Maori this shit damages Maori morell and just adds to the instatutiona racism against Maori

  7. Penny Bright 7

    MICHELLE BOAG IS A PAID PR HACK – A MOUTHPIECE FOR SECRET ‘VESTED INTEREST$’

    IMO paid PR hacks like Mischelle Boag and Matthew Hooton should be banned as ‘political commentators’ from MSM:

    “Michelle is currently a partner in Boag Allan Pirie Ltd, a consultancy providing strategic communications advice to businesses, organisations and individuals seeking to influence business, political and public sector outcomes.”

    https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelle-boag-0b1202b/?trk=public-profile-join-page

    Michelle Boag
    2nd degree connection2nd
    Michelle Boag
    Director at Boag Allan SVG Ltd
    Boag Allan Pirie Ltd Victoria University of Wellington
    Auckland, New Zealand

    Michelle Boag is one of New Zealand’s leading public relations practitioners, with thirty years of experience in the world of government, consultancy and corporate public relations.

    A former Press secretary to several National Party Leaders and Prime Ministers, she also has an extensive background in the not-for-profit world, as a Trustee of the Auckland Rescue Helicopter Trust and the Eden Park Trust, a former Trustee of Surf Livesaving and a former President of Variety, the Childrens Charity.

    Her corporate career included five years as General Manager, Corporate Affairs for DB Breweries and a similar period as Director of Corporate Affairs for merchant bank Fay Richwhite.

    Following a period as President of the NZ National Party in 2002, Michelle set up a boutique recruitment agency specializing in the recruitment of public relations and communications practitioners.

    In September 2008 PR People was acquired by the Momentum Group of Companies, one of New Zealand’s largest, privately-owned recruitment companies with 70 staff in Auckland and Wellington.

    Michelle left Momentum in December 2010 and spent a year as an Executive Director with Ogilvy, one of New Zealand’s largest advertising agencies.

    Michelle is currently a partner in Boag Allan Pirie Ltd, a consultancy providing strategic communications advice to businesses, organisations and individuals seeking to influence business, political and public sector outcomes.

    Specialties: Strategic Communications advice, Government Relations, personal mentoring, professional networking
    __________________________

    #SACKThePRHacks

    • Stuart Munro 7.1

      A failed PR hack – advised the Gnats the last time Bill returned a result in the low twenties, and poured oil on the flames of the Mad Butcher racism panic.

  8. NZJester 8

    When National is out of ideas they tend to polish off an old one of theirs putting an even worse spin on it and say it is new or they reach into old Labour policies and tout them as something that they came up with. The old Labour ones they borrow however are always past their use by date as they needed to be implemented soon after the election they were used in to be effective and now would hardly be of any use at all like putting a band-aid on a leaking crack in a dam. If they do borrow from a newer Labour Idea they gut it down till it would be ineffective if implemented.
    They took the failed boot camp idea and have basically turned it into a long term youth detention center by changing it from a quick boot camp to a long term one easily allowing them to lock them away. Any of the offspring of the rich caught doing similar things to those of the poor you can bet will be spared these detention camps.

    • Robert Guyton 8.1

      Even David Garrett, David Garret says (on Kiwiblog sorry-to-say)

      “I’m afraid this is pretty much “nice try but no cigar”.

      I am not normally in agreement with criminologist Jarrod Gilbert, but on this occasion I agree with him: there is no evidence that such programs do anything other than turn out very physically fit criminals…that is the result anywhere and whenever such programs have been tried.

      The time to prevent young offenders embarking on a career of crime is when they are four, or even younger; by the time they are old enough to be incarcerated – whether in a youth justice facility or otherwise – it is far too late.

      The problem of course is that intervening at age four or less requires a fundamental re think of our policy towards child rearing, and an admission that we have been going down the wrong path for nigh on 40 years. I can’t see any government having the courage to do that.

      At the very best, this program will do no great harm, but anyone who thinks it will have any great effect is dreaming.”

  9. The decrypter 9

    Tory mouth pieces have all been instructed. —-Don’t just stand there PANIC . ffs.

  10. The decrypter 10

    If library cards have date of birth on them they would prove the age of the kids on the street to the police.

  11. Sacha 11

    The challenge for the left is not getting sucked into responding to the details of this daft
    policy. Just confidently promote their own for improving people’s lives and prospects.

  12. james 12

    The edits on the beach walk were very funny.

  13. patricia bremner 13

    Reading Stuff about $18 cabbages, and the moans of entitled kings!!!

    I’m enjoying seeing all the + (plus) signs next to comments on Labour’s water policy.

    The – (minus) signs after the moans and whines also make for smiles!!

    For such “good managers” National & supporters have very little math skill.

    Thankfully most Kiwis can use the calculator app in their ‘phone.

  14. greywarshark 14

    On Radionz after the interview about boot camps there was a reply put in by some one who quoted success with them from I think Kapiti. There was 3% recidivism which is pretty good compared to the usual but am I comparing kiwifruit with apples?

    Does anyone know about this program? The police up there are involved I think.

  15. Peter 15

    For the Nats facts don’t matter. They are employing the old age FUD technique of Fear Uncertainty and Doubt. The real question is how do you counter it, especially their ability to dominate the front page of the NZ Herald with their perspective?

    • tc 15.1

      Let the herald and other outlets show how owned they are by duely recycling the spin and bs.

      Helps set the scene for an overhaul of tvnz and a media complaints process with teeth outing the propaganda. No surprise nact allow them to self regulate.

  16. Tanz 17

    So, you’re saying then that it’s ok for young folk, fourteen and younger to be running around at night, committing crimes or glue sniffing etc, whilst their parents do nothing?
    Finally some bold policy from National re this, where values actually matter and youth arn’t encouraged to be young crims.

    • left_forward 17.1

      And that is the point being made here Tanz – experience shows that the policy will not actually discourage youth from a criminal future (in fact it would do the opposite) – it just creates smoke to give the appearance that National is finally doing something about youth crime after years in Government.
      Are you interested in something that might actually work, or are you content with preserving the illusion?

      • Tanz 17.1.1

        What’s Labour’s solution then? Carry on the same? If Boot Camp turns young people who have gone off the rails around and gives them a better future, keeps them out of prison, allows them to dream etc, university, career, reaching their potentials, what is wrong with that? As it is, the do nothing approach is achieving nothing good or positive or different. Just a perpetual cycle of crime and hopelessness.

        • UncookedSelachimorpha 17.1.1.1

          A big part of the solution is to invest in poverty reduction, better health care, free education, mental health and youth support services, drug counseling, housing etc.

          Unlike boot camps, the above is actually proven to help.

          Perhaps you could read the links in the main post that explain how boot camps haven’t worked – The Spinoff one is particularly good. Pushing on with failed policy – against the evidence – is stupid and helps no one.

        • left_forward 17.1.1.2

          Generally Labour and particularly the Greens have policies aimed at improving the well-being of all people and to reduce the current inequalities (a significant cause of youth crime). This would reverse the National party practice of slowly diminishing investment in education, health, housing and welfare. ‘Boot Camp’ is a punitive program by its very definition and shown not to work – the so-called wrap-around support will be compromised by the negative nature of the environment.

          Why not turn it into a positive (throw away the sole destroying military bullshit)? – many of us have advocated for extension of whanau ora style wrap around, multi-agency support services aimed at supporting and assisting families through difficult times – but these models of care are new and fragile and have been largely unsupported by the current Government (other than a small tilt of the hat towards their Maori Party allies).

          I think you are confused – National are in Government – they are the ones that you should hold accountable as to whether they have achieved or done anything.

        • Draco T Bastard 17.1.1.3

          If Boot Camp turns young people who have gone off the rails around and gives them a better future

          It’s been proven, quite conclusively, that it doesn’t.

        • Robert Guyton 17.1.1.4

          If boot camp “allows them (young people) to dream”
          Fairy-tale thinking from Tanz. Dreaming is the last thing boot camps “allow”.

    • Gabby 17.2

      Maybe the ‘nothing’ is not beating them or raping them tanzie.

  17. ianmac 18

    Rob a great collection of links thankyou.

  18. mac1 19

    “A beautiful evening for a walk on the beach”.

    Readers should know that this is a virtual reality walk on the beach which you can do from the comfort of your own armchair. No problem with rain, nor horrible sand in the shoes, no rubbish to ignore, no hoons on quad bikes, no undesirables and no people sleeping out.

    Virtual reality outdoor living means that you can enjoy our pristine, pure, 100% green environment without having to swim in waters fit only for wading, nor smells from sewage, no dead eels in the water and again no freedom campers or homeless spoiling the experience.

    National- the virtual reality party.

  19. greywarshark 20

    Looking for information about programs for rehabilitation for the young.
    I haven’t found the one I was looking for but found this little statement of intention from the government. We all thought we knew what was NZHousing, and found out surprising differences in recent years.

    As a community aid I will copy it here to record that there was one and what they did, or were supposed to do.

    Housing New Zealand
    http://www.hnzc.co.nz
    Housing New Zealand provides New Zealanders with access to good quality, affordable homes. It is also the New Zealand government’s main advisor on housing, and services related to housing. The page was dated 2017.

    Smooth, written by one of their well paid PR experts in communication.
    While looking for data on expense of government PR and looking at an extensive OIA for which there was no published reply accessible I was vaguely amused at the
    controls put on dissemination of the ‘public’ information from our government.
    https://fyi.org.nz/request/1974-how-the-govt-spends-money-on-public-relations-and-interacts-with-media
    The information contained in this email message is for the attention of
    the intended recipient(s) only and is not necessarily the view or
    communication of the Department of Internal Affairs. If you are not the
    intended recipient you must not disclose, copy or distribute this message
    or the information in it, if you have received this message in error,
    please destroy the email and notify the sender immediately.

    Here is an interesting summary of pay scales in government for CEs. Informative, good background stuff.

    Click to access senior-pay-report-2016.pdf

  20. greywarshark 21

    ‘WHAT IF THEY AREN’T EVEN WEARING ANY JAMMIES??? Phew – I think I should stop channeling Nat logic now – and just call this stupid, impractical, panicked policy on the hoof. ‘

    The next step is to make it mandatory for all parents to wear onesies to bed. That will help to keep down population growth by preventing them being sexually inflamed by their naked bodies, and prevent the police where involved, from having their finer, sensitive natures disturbed by such sights, or indeed prevent unhealthy prurience developing in our noble upholders of the law.

  21. AB 22

    Threatened Privilege Derangement Syndrome (TPDS).
    Usually not terminal – Boag seems to have quite successfully lived with the disease for about 150 years.

    • Liberal Realist 22.1

      Wonder if citrus fruit is a treatment for TPDS? Boag sure looks like she’s been sucking a lemon for at 149 of those years!

  22. Whispering Kate 23

    Even with the best intentions parents can only do the best they can. A kid will do what a kid will do, I bet there are countless parents in NZ who are good parents and given their kids a really good home life but when the hormones kick in with adolescence there are some kids who just cannot be controlled. If you want to tie them to the bed each night or have the money to send them to a Boarding School then maybe that will work. Some kids run away from home and are hard to find.

    Don’t think for one minute its only parents who couldn’t give a toss where their kids are that this happens to. Kids can have sunday school, girl guides/boy scouts, sporting activities, ballet lessons, music lessons, camping holidays – an entire family to look after them and still if they want to run wild they will do it. Punishing the parents isn’t going to work, some parents are desperate and don’t know how to handle their kids when they are so bloody determined to jump out of bedroom windows, hoon around in cars, drink under age you name it.

    Parents need help – this Government is lumping every parent into the “neglectful parent” basket – life isn’t all black and white. the filthy rich can hide their “naughty” kids and get darned expensive help but in the end – as I said at the start – a kid will do what a kid will do come hell or high water – some are obedient and will do as their told or be guided and others will not be guided or do as their told – toss the dice up and just hope you get kids who are not going to be on the streets at night.

    • Don’t think for one minute its only parents who couldn’t give a toss where their kids are that this happens to. Kids can have sunday school, girl guides/boy scouts, sporting activities, ballet lessons, music lessons, camping holidays – an entire family to look after them and still if they want to run wild they will do it.

      Yep.

      You just may be the odd mom out and have been lucky enough to raise the perfect baby, toddler, child, teenager, and young adult. But if you’re like the rest of us struggling to be the best parents we can be, only to find ourselves staring into the eyes of a dumbfounded teenager while gasping for air and screaming, “You did what!?” then welcome to the club. Sit down, have some wine, and let me be the first to tell you this too shall pass, and I’d be more worried if I had raised a kid who never fucked up royally, than raising one who’s been knocked on his own ass more than once from the unforeseen consequences of his actions.

      • Whispering Kate 23.1.1

        Don’t be like that Draco – I have run the gauntlet and have the teeshirt to prove it and you’d better believe it. I also agree that its better to have a kid that’s fucked up royally as you said and will come through in the end with some rough edges knocked off – but in the meanwhile its hell on earth when you see your kid acting stupidly and often dangerously and now this Government wants to clobber you on the head to add to your misery.

        Some of this Government’s policies are just punish punish and more punishment. I have had my drink of wine and have come through my 20 year period and still we have speed wobbles but I am not if anything tenacious and will never give up on my kid. I am perplexed as to why you thought I was a holier than thou sort of person. Nobody understands and is more compassionate than I am when it comes to kids wandering the street at night and as I said they are not all offspring of parents who don’t give a damn.

        • Draco T Bastard 23.1.1.1

          Don’t be like that Draco

          ???

          You do realise that I was a) agreeing with you and b) quoted a linked article right?

          Some of this Government’s policies are just punish punish and more punishment.

          Yep. This government hasn’t realise yet that externally applied discipline doesn’t teach the necessary self-discipline.

          • Whispering Kate 23.1.1.1.1

            My apologies – yes this Government is thick as p…s…. No vision and no nipping problems in the bud, just clobbering and punishing when it all turns to custard.

            The last thing our Defence Force needs is seriously disfunctioning kids. This idea has been tried and does not work. How about giving people decent employment on decent wages. A health system that isn’t going to break the bank for people. Give people the tools and they can do the job. This Government depends on a certain ratio of unemployed to keep their economic model working and that’s the way it suits them – under-fed and under-worked. People actually want to work and have a home they own or at least a secure tenancy.

            I am voting Greens this time, they are the only party left who has a heart and soul for the planet and for the people.

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    4 days ago
  • PGF reset helps regional economies
    The Provincial Growth Fund will play a vital role in New Zealand’s post-COVID-19 recovery by creating jobs in shorter timeframes through at least $600 million being refocused on projects with more immediate economic benefits, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones has announced. The funding is comprised of repurposed Provincial Growth ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Government exempts some home improvements from costly consents
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    6 days ago
  • Concern at introduction of national security legislation for Hong Kong
    Foreign Affairs Minister Winston Peters says the New Zealand Government has reacted with concern at the introduction of legislation in China’s National People’s Congress relating to national security in Hong Kong.  “We have a strong interest in seeing confidence maintained in the ‘one country, two systems’ principle under which Hong ...
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    6 days ago
  • Samoa Language Week theme is perfect for the post-COVID-19 journey
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Adult kakī/black stilt numbers soar
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    7 days ago
  • Waikato-Tainui settlement story launched on 25th anniversary of Treaty signing
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    1 week ago
  • Taita College to benefit from $32 million school redevelopment
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    1 week ago
  • Redeployment for workers in hard-hit regions
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    1 week ago
  • $35m to build financial resilience for New Zealanders
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    1 week ago
  • New District Court Judge appointed
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    1 week ago
  • $206 million investment in upgrades at Ohakea Air Force Base
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    1 week ago
  • Review of CAA organisational culture released
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    1 week ago
  • New Board appointed at Stats NZ
    Ensuring that Stats NZ’s direction and strategy best supports government policy decisions will be a key focus for a new Governance Advisory Board announced today by the Minister for Statistics, James Shaw. The new Governance Advisory Board will provide strategic advice to Stats NZ to ensure it is meeting New ...
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    1 week ago
  • New Principal Environment Judge
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    1 week ago
  • Digital connectivity boost for urban marae
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Govt increases assistance to drought-stricken Hawke’s Bay farmers
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    1 week ago
  • Investment in New Zealand’s history
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    1 week ago