web analytics

NZ’s biggest welfare beneficiary revealed in shock horror Herald exclusive expose’

Written By: - Date published: 11:45 am, September 2nd, 2010 - 22 comments
Categories: class war, Satire, welfare - Tags: ,

To find out who it is, click here.

Will this individual’s personal file be read out in Parliament by Paula Bennett?

Will this beneficiary’s sex life be investigated by WINZ as grounds for disqualification?

Will this beneficiary be required to go to through an endless round of “Work Ready Assessments”?

Will this beneficiary’s neighbours be asked by WINZ to spy on them?

Will the contents of their shopping trolley be scrutinised by check out operators to make sure they are not buying any “treats” for their children?

Will this benefit be canceled without notice if this beneficiary misses or is late for one of their job ‘re-training’ appointments?

Will this beneficiary be called on to provide all their banking account details to WINZ?

Will this beneficiary be required to provide proof of no other income?

Will they be required to wait the statutory stand down period before receiving their benefit?

Will this beneficiary have to wait two hours in a queue at WINZ with all the other deserving cases for government support, only to be told that their paper work had been lost and could they come back tomorrow?

Will this idler have to prove that they are actively engaged in seeking work?

If they can’t prove this, will their benefit be withheld?

(The usual criteria when seeking financial support from the government, to prove hardship, you have to show you have no other means of support, or savings or investments. In this case individual’s case this criteria seems to have been waived, so I won’t even ask, whether this beneficiary will be required to show proof of any other income or means of support.)

News Flash:

In an unrelated story from yesterday’s news, a rich businessman loses $70 million in a bad investment.

But luckily for him the Minister was so personally touched by his sad story that the government have decided to make up his loss, plus generously give him another $30 million on top for hurt feelings.

On behalf of all taxpayers, I would like to take this opportunity to pen a public thank you letter to express our collective gratitude, for letting us make up this unfortunate man’s loss:

Dear Mr Kerr,
We can only hope that this small gesture from us all, will make up for all your suffering.

Yours in Gratitude,
The Taxpayer

PS. I am sure a Knight Hood or other Crown Honour will be winging your way shortly.

Is New Zealand not the most humane and generous Welfare State in the world, where citizens like your George Kerr are protected from the inhuman vicissitudes of deregulated market forces?”

Shame on all those petty naysayers who criticise our Social Welfare system for being unnecessarily intrusive, judgmental and condemnatory, with benefits grudgingly given and miserly.

22 comments on “NZ’s biggest welfare beneficiary revealed in shock horror Herald exclusive expose’ ”

  1. Rex Widerstrom 1

    Even for the troughers used to doling (pun intended) our money out, $100 million to one beneficiary must surely awaken them from their full-bellied slumber?

    Or will they blithely accept assurances it’s necessary to “make things go smoothly” as the story says.

    Hey look, for $100 million I’ll go smoothly anywhere you want, Paula, knowhadimean?

  2. We all live and act in the political environment in which we are presented with. Labour proposed, and then enacted an extended the deposit guarantee scheme in 2008 to additionally protect finance companies that had typically operated above board from both a domestic crisis of confidence which had sunk a few bad eggs in the predeceding years, as well as to maintain the liquidity of financial markets swept in the maelstrom of the GFC (i.e. willingness of financial institutions to continue to lend to each other).

    There are always unfortunate cases, because too often the Parliament takes the ambulance at the bottom of the cliff rather than the fence approach, and while I sympathise with those who lost money in Bridgecorp, Hanover etc, I would hardly expect that those people who lost their money because of the dodgy actions of finance company directors would begrudge others the opportunity to be protected simply out of spite.

    Having said that, there remains a certain problem with the whole situation surrounding SCF. How were they allowed to sell bonds at such a low price whilst remaining within the deposit guarantee scheme, and why is interest also being paid to depositors rather than simply their original capital?

    Also, with finance companies there needs to be further reform so that conflict of interest associations become less common – several of the finance company collapse relate to the private pet projects of their directors rather than those that would otherwise be considered sensible lendings – finance companies are supposed to be the intermediaries, linking creditors with debtors, not debtors in their own right.

  3. MikeG 3

    How about looking beyond the headlines – Kerr was a first-ranking debt holder, so would have been one of the first to be repaid from the realisation of the assets of SCF, irrespective of the Govt bailout.

    What is more interesting is the links between SCF, Torchlight, The Securities Commission and the Botherway brothers – now there’s something dodgy to get worked up about.

    • bbfloyd 3.1

      and don’t forget the bond holders… over 40% profit out of the bailout

      • wtl 3.1.1

        Yes, I don’t get this, something stinks. Were the bonds guaranteed? If they were, why on earth were they trading so low? If they weren’t, why are they being paid out?

    • Jenny 3.2

      Kerr was a gambler who blew his own money.

      What a loser.

      While many tens of thousands of hard working and honest New Zealanders are doing it hard, due the malfeasance of the likes of Kerr who even with his losses from the failure of SCF, is still a multimillionaire, wallowing in the lap of luxury.

      Only an idiot would try and justify gifting Kerr another $100 million on top of his already vast fortune, from out of our pockets.

      Mike, why aren’t you down at the casino giving your banking details and credit card numbers to all the other sad losers.

      Is it because these gamblers aren’t rich enough for you to make it worth your while to publicly kiss their arse.

  4. bbfloyd 4

    i’m a little bit incredulous to be honest. i read the article, and the only thing that comes to mind is that this can only be classed as a swindle of the first magnitude.. but it’s our own government perpetrating it!! is there nothing these people will not stoop to in order to enrich themselves?

    should i start storing tinned food now in preparation for the big bang??

  5. BLiP 5

    Te Ururoa Flavell makes an interesting comparison.

  6. outofbed 6

    Meanwhile a tumble weed blows though Labour party HQ

    • just saying 6.1

      Be fair – focus groups don’t organise themselves, and they take a lot of time.

    • bbfloyd 6.2

      oottabed.. did you get the idea for that comment after looking in your mirror this morning? or have you got a pathalogical need to constantly bray partisan politics in the absence of any real ideas?

      • bbfloyd 6.2.1

        and.. of course we can’t forget the fact that the news media are still choosing not to report any comments made by the opposition unless they can either abridge it down to a meaningless soundbite, or cut and splice to make the comments look irrelevant. they were doing it when labour was in govt.. nothings changed…

        maybe a good idea would be to go and have a look on either their blog site, or the main web site. lots of info…

  7. OleOlebiscuitBarrell 7

    Nice story. If only it were true. Kerr had a first ranking security, so his money was safe anyway as, on everyone’s numbers, SCFL was good for that much. The government just repaid it now (rather than, you know, later) so that it wouldn’t have to deal with him.

    • Bob Stanforth 7.1

      Oh, enough of the facts already! Dont spoil a good story with facts!

      Funny really, pitch a story, see if it has legs, it doesnt, abandoned. Cue tumbleweed…

    • Jenny 7.2

      ….his money was safe anyway as, on everyone’s numbers, SCFL was good for that much.

      Have you got a citation for that, OOBB?

      Who is “everyone”?

      And what are their “numbers”?

      • MikeG 7.2.1

        It’s the point I was trying to make above – as one of the first to get his hands on any money from SCF he would have got his money back (eventually). I am sure that SCF will get at least $100 million from selling it’s loan book etc.

    • The Voice of Reason 7.3

      Why pay him early? Hell, why pay him anything? That’s my money you’re talking about and the longer I hang on to it, the better. Tell ya what, lets put it to the vote. Lets have a referendum on whether this bludger gets a penny of public money. I vote NO. You?

      • Akldnut 7.3.1

        Too late now TVoR, lets have a referendum on whether or not the gummit should pass a law to force the bludger to pay it back with interest

        • Jenny 7.3.1.1

          Rather than a referendum, Maybe we should organise a telethon for George Kerr.

          I couldn’t think of better political theatre.

          Where’s McPhail and Gadsby when you need them.

          Why haven’t we got any cutting (and funny) main stream satirists today?

          • OleOlebiscuitBarrell 7.3.1.1.1

            Why pay him early?

            So the government has total control about how the assets are disposed of. A good thing, I would have thought. This part of it, at least, is perfectly sensible. He has got the secured money he put in back. The government has taken over his position and has profited to that degree. He has not got a free ride here.

  8. Herodotus 8

    So we had the collective brains of 2 finance ministers, our brightest civil servants, stealing/coping from Aussie we had crap legislation again. Did it not click into anyones minds that finance coy are as complicated vechiles that lawyers can create. Was this not pushed to protect the small investor, max guarantee $250k?
    It would be of interest to see and of those who brought bonds within the last few weeks, and if there was any inside info. But after many cases there is no teeth if anyone ever gets convicted
    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/business/news/article.cfm?c_id=3&objectid=139940
    Or was this legislation passed with the hope of not being tested then finding out it holds water like a sieve.
    This is not a left/right issue it is NZ being crapped upon, and displaying how poor our pollys are at writting up decient law for the benefit of the country.
    But hang on finance coys have a tiered heirachy as to claims on ownership of assets or clawback of payouts. So to protect the small investor we must extract these big players. But this is our money that is going towards these speculators!!!!
    “Asked on TV3 if it had cynically exploited the Government guarantee, he replied(Sandy Maier): “It might have been cynical, it might have been merely incompetent … it probably violated a lot of prudent lending criteria.” And we protect these fine upstanding people. I wonder what the coys “Statement of Corporate Intent” and other board guidelines on operating activity stipulated for the coys activities
    JAFA’s were dispised by the rest of the country, perhaps those from Timaru ……….

Links to post

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Celebrating the Entry Into Force of the Treaty on the Prohibition of Nuclear Weapons
    [Opening comments, welcome and thank you to Auckland University etc] It is a great pleasure to be here this afternoon to celebrate such an historic occasion - the entry into force of the Treaty on the Prohibition of Nuclear Weapons. This is a moment many feared would never come, but ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Supporting disabled people to stay connected
    The Government is providing $3 million in one-off seed funding to help disabled people around New Zealand stay connected and access support in their communities, Minister for Disability Issues, Carmel Sepuloni announced today. The funding will allow disability service providers to develop digital and community-based solutions over the next two ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Voluntary saliva testing offered to quarantine workers from Monday
    Border workers in quarantine facilities will be offered voluntary daily COVID-19 saliva tests in addition to their regular weekly testing, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. This additional option will be rolled out at the Jet Park Quarantine facility in Auckland starting on Monday 25 January, and then to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Next steps in firearms buy-back
    The next steps in the Government’s ambitious firearms reform programme to include a three-month buy-back have been announced by Police Minister Poto Williams today.  “The last buy-back and amnesty was unprecedented for New Zealand and was successful in collecting 60,297 firearms, modifying a further 5,630 firearms, and collecting 299,837 prohibited ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Jobs for Nature projects target iconic ecosystems
    Upscaling work already underway to restore two iconic ecosystems will deliver jobs and a lasting legacy, Conservation Minister Kiri Allan says.  “The Jobs for Nature programme provides $1.25 billion over four years to offer employment opportunities for people whose livelihoods have been impacted by the COVID-19 recession. “Two new projects ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • New Public Housing Plan announced
    The Government has released its Public Housing Plan 2021-2024 which outlines the intention of where 8,000 additional public and transitional housing places announced in Budget 2020, will go. “The Government is committed to continuing its public house build programme at pace and scale. The extra 8,000 homes – 6000 public ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Prime Minister congratulates President Joe Biden on his inauguration
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has congratulated President Joe Biden on his inauguration as the 46th President of the United States of America. “I look forward to building a close relationship with President Biden and working with him on issues that matter to both our countries,” Jacinda Ardern said. “New Zealand ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Jobs for Nature funding will create training and employment opportunities
    A major investment to tackle wilding pines in Mt Richmond will create jobs and help protect the area’s unique ecosystems, Biosecurity Minister Damien O’Connor says. The Mt Richmond Forest Park has unique ecosystems developed on mineral-rich geology, including taonga plant species found nowhere else in the country. “These special plant ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Pre-departure testing extended to all passengers to New Zealand
    To further protect New Zealand from COVID-19, the Government is extending pre-departure testing to all passengers to New Zealand except from Australia, Antarctica and most Pacific Islands, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “The change will come into force for all flights arriving in New Zealand after 11:59pm (NZT) on Monday ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Bay Cadets learn skills to protect environment
    Bay Conservation Cadets launched with first intake Supported with $3.5 million grant Part of $1.245b Jobs for Nature programme to accelerate recover from Covid Cadets will learn skills to protect and enhance environment Environment Minister David Parker today welcomed the first intake of cadets at the launch of the Bay ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Cook Islanders to resume travel to New Zealand
    The Prime Minister of New Zealand Jacinda Ardern and the Prime Minister of the Cook Islands Mark Brown have announced passengers from the Cook Islands can resume quarantine-free travel into New Zealand from 21 January, enabling access to essential services such as health. “Following confirmation of the Cook Islands’ COVID ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Supporting communities and landowners to grow employment opportunities
    Jobs for Nature funding is being made available to conservation groups and landowners to employ staff and contractors in a move aimed at boosting local biodiversity-focused projects, Conservation Minister Kiritapu Allan has announced. It is estimated some 400-plus jobs will be created with employment opportunities in ecology, restoration, trapping, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Border exception for some returning international tertiary students
    The Government has approved an exception class for 1000 international tertiary students, degree level and above, who began their study in New Zealand but were caught offshore when border restrictions began. The exception will allow students to return to New Zealand in stages from April 2021. “Our top priority continues ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Tiwai deal gives time for managed transition
    Today’s deal between Meridian and Rio Tinto for the Tiwai smelter to remain open another four years provides time for a managed transition for Southland. “The deal provides welcome certainty to the Southland community by protecting jobs and incomes as the region plans for the future. The Government is committed ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New member for APEC Business Advisory Council
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has appointed Anna Curzon to the APEC Business Advisory Council (ABAC). The leader of each APEC economy appoints three private sector representatives to ABAC. ABAC provides advice to leaders annually on business priorities. “ABAC helps ensure that APEC’s work programme is informed by business community perspectives ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Govt’s careful economic management recognised
    The Government’s prudent fiscal management and strong policy programme in the face of the COVID-19 global pandemic have been acknowledged by the credit rating agency Fitch. Fitch has today affirmed New Zealand’s local currency rating at AA+ with a stable outlook and foreign currency rating at AA with a positive ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Additional actions to keep COVID-19 out of NZ
    The Government is putting in place a suite of additional actions to protect New Zealand from COVID-19, including new emerging variants, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “Given the high rates of infection in many countries and evidence of the global spread of more transmissible variants, it’s clear that ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • 19 projects will clean up and protect waterways
    $36 million of Government funding alongside councils and others for 19 projects Investment will clean up and protect waterways and create local jobs Boots on the ground expected in Q2 of 2021 Funding part of the Jobs for Nature policy package A package of 19 projects will help clean up ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New Zealand Government acknowledges 175th anniversary of Battle of Ruapekapeka
    The commemoration of the 175th anniversary of the Battle of Ruapekapeka represents an opportunity for all New Zealanders to reflect on the role these conflicts have had in creating our modern nation, says Associate Minister for Arts, Culture and Heritage Kiri Allan. “The Battle at Te Ruapekapeka Pā, which took ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago