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Try hard John caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 11:00 am, May 31st, 2011 - 82 comments
Categories: caption contest, leadership - Tags:

My contribution: Key does the vertical plank. Not pictured, National’s economic plan .

82 comments on “Try hard John caption contest”

  1. DeeDub 1

    A planker and a plonker.

    Max Key proves that planking is a million miles from it’s ‘roots’ by planking on the Key family furniture while Dad supervises to make sure the assets don’t get scratched….. nothing to do with needing to be in front of a camera, eh John?

    • Arent Politician’s children out of bounds, or family members for that matter, also.

      • RedLogix 1.1.1

        Now you come to mention it Brett I have to agree. It’s a long-standing convention that exists for very good reason.

        So presuming that this was published with JK’s knowledge and consent… it begs a very hard question about his judgement here. Exploiting his son for a photo-op cracks opens a door that should have been left closed…no?

        PS bad taste pun wholly intentional…

        • Brett Dale

          Politicians are always going to use their family, it doesn’t mean the opposition can have a go at a son of family member.

          • Blighty

            Tell me of another NZ PM who has made their family a PR tool.

            If you turn people into a tool, don’t be surprised that they come in the firing line. You can’t use a PR tool and then whine when it gets turned on you.

            And, as it happens, I don’t see anyone seriously criticising Max. They’re taking the piss out of ol’ smile and wave.

            • Robert Atack

              Nathan Guy would front up at most campaign meetings around Kapiti in 2005 with wife and very young children in tow, the little bastards wouldn’t stop crying.

            • felix

              I can think of one wannabe PM who did. His wife’s from Singapore you know.

              I actually agree with Brett though: Key has gone too far this time, kids should be out of bounds.

              Shame on him and good on Brett for bringing it up.

  2. Charlie Parker 2

    “John Key makes guest appearance in boy’s arse.”

  3. M 3

    “And for my next trick, Don and I, the double blanks, will do a double plank atop the Reserve Bank”

  4. M 4

    John Key displays his new method of child discipline

  5. sally 5

    John Key’s extra security detail come in handy when the Prime Minister needs a photo taken on his Blackberry.

  6. sally 6

    “And how much is King’s charging for your education, Max?”

  7. M 7

    Saw the item on Breakfast this morning and some punters in the street were interviewed as to how they viewed Key’s latest publicity stunt – my favourite was a woman who labelled Key a dick. If I could get that on a video loop it would make my week, the truth being spoken at last.

  8. ak 8

    PM’s research into Max Planck reference draws blank

  9. todd 9

    “I jist tazered Max’s arse cause e sed he blieves in climit chinge.”

  10. Policy Parrot 10

    The only plank photo I want to see Key in is one of him walking the plank.

  11. rjs131 11

    Hold on, so when his son puts it up on facebook, it is a publicity stunt by the evil John Key?

    • Richard 11.1

      It is a publicity stunt if his Dad told him to, or his Dad got in the picture in the knowledge that it was likely to be posted online.

      Of course, we’re unlikely to ever know whether this is a genuine publicity stunt, or whether his son (assuming that’s who this is) is merely just a bit of a dick, too, and thought it was a good idea all by himself.

      • Brett Dale 11.1.1

        His kid had this his facebook page? Yeepers if someone at kiwiblog did this with Goff’s kids, you all will be outrage.

        • Richard

          Not his personal facebook page. The facebook page of some Planking League or something.

          • Brett Dale

            Still the media lifted it from there and published it, and now the standard has oput it here to have a go at Key.

            IMHO that is wrong.

            • Bunji

              I don’t think you can genuinely blame Eddie here Brett, after it had already been front page on newspapers, on breakfast telly and the front page of stuff. And no-one’s being nasty to Max here.

              If you’re looking for reasons to be upset with the media for taking stuff off facebook, I’d go with all the pictures various newspapers etc took off Emily Longley‘s family’s private pages, rather than a photo on a public facebook Planking page. There was great media excitement when her boyfriend posted the last photo of her alive on his facebook page, which seemed awfully voyeuristic.

              Just relatively speaking.

            • RobC

              FFS Brett even Kiwiblog has published it. Stop being so fucking precious.

    • J Mex 11.2

      Yes. Key’s son is a Crosby Textor plant.

      If Key wants to get “down with the kids” he should have “krumped” like Mallard and Hodgson.

    • Blighty 11.3

      It was on the planking website

      Are you so naive that you think all the major news outlets just happen to get a pic off that website at the same time?

      This is Key trying to hop on a trend.

      The lamest trend ever, btw. Does anyone really think planking is cool? It’s boring, just dudes lying down.

      • Lanthanide 11.3.1

        Planking itself is incredibly lame. I did see a news article about an inversion of it, where two young women were ‘planking’ simply lying face down on the concrete at popular tourism destinations, as a way of advertising their country. That was only interesting because of how stupid planking is in general, though.

      • Deadly_NZ 11.3.2

        I prefer a Pillow and a blanket ta.

  12. Pascal's bookie 12

    “Critics non-plussed about new David Lynch film”

    The latest work from Director David Lynch, who normally gets the glitteratti’s hearts to flutter with his biting and surrealist depictions of the modern socio-political landscape, has fallen flat at advanced screenings. Critics have described The internet is making us stupid as ‘pretty sophomoric stuff’ with a few wearing Tshirts emblazoned with ‘Who killed David Lynch’ in reference to a more admired earlier work.

    “He used to be genuinely, refreshingly, almost frighteningly weird”, said an EW reviewer in Cannes, “but this is just taking the piss”.

  13. Richard 13


  14. hobbit 14

    ‘PM John Key keeps watchful eye on son after reports Darren Hughes is in the area’

    • Lanthanide 14.1

      So what happened with that whole DH saga anyway? Did the complaint ever get made into formal police charges?

      • Robert Atack 14.1.1

        And did anyone get charged for running around Hataitai in the nick?

      • Inventory2 14.1.2

        No Lanthanide; it’s three months on Thursday since the alleged incident happened, and still no word from the Police. It can’t be a pleasant time for either Hughes or the complainant.

  15. Lazy Susan 15

    Max Key mimes an over inflated description of New Zealand’s growth rate since his admiring father became Prime Minister.

  16. ghostwhowalksnz 16

    “Two planks are all you need, one in each direction”

  17. Lez Howard 17

    As two short planks

  18. a very good impersonation of a whine axis

  19. Brad 19

    “Prime Minister not taking planking concerns lying down”

  20. scotty 20

    Duncan Garner grills Key in hard hitting interview

  21. rjs131 21

    Max Key scores more publicity in a single shot than Ashaf Choudery has got in 6 years in Parliament

  22. Irascible 22

    Planking is one where the participant exposes himself to a dangerous situation and then is photographed in that dangerous position. In this case young Max is obviously telling the public that his Dad is a dangerous situation. So Max is telling the public to stay away from the dangerous stunt that is his father.
    Max should be given a medal for being honest about his father.

  23. Postie 23

    Planker and Wanker

  24. knit wit 24

    Spot the plank competition.

    Use your skill and judgement to place a X over where you think the plank may be in this picture.

  25. McFlock 25

    Not happy with stuffing up the country, our glorious leader throws a father-son planking competition.

  26. RobC 26

    Son quickly rolls over to avoid being caught wanking by his wanker father

  27. Ten Miles Over 27

    Caption: Father and son share time together, lefties wonder what it is.

  28. felix 28

    Happy place. I’m in my happy place I’m in my happy place I’m in my happy place.

  29. steve 29

    Most of the attempted humour here is Intermediate School level. Naughty, naughty children’s jokes and some very sick suggestions. The worst comedians are those who think they are funny.
    Single digit IQs. You know who you are (wonkers, wankers, plankers. giggle giggle honk honk snort snort) pathetic children

    • RobC 29.1

      Yes, very true. Oh, and Liz Hurley is hot.

    • McFlock 29.2

      A famous actor once said that theatre critics are like eunuchs in a harem – they know what should be done, they see it done every night (often badly), but try as they might they can’t do it themselves…

      Please enlighten us, steve.

    • Brett Dale 29.3

      Welcome to the Standard, the humor doesnt get better, very mean spirited sometimes.

  30. burt 30

    Shock horror the PM is human !

    • RobC 30.1

      Given the way the country has been managed in the last 2.5 yrs, there’s no shock that the PM is human – he fucks up just as much as the rest of us

      • burt 30.1.1

        Sure but he admits it and changes what he is doing – unlike she who never once admitted any personal responsibility for the continuous stuff-ups that she presided over.

        As much as I’m not a National party supporter it is refreshing to have a PM who isn’t teflon coated to the point of ridiculousness.

        • felix

          Sure but he admits it and changes what he is doing

          [citation needed]

        • Vicky32

          As much as I’m not a National party supporter

          So, ACT then?

  31. Chris 31

    The thing is Key is human, he is a dad and he has a personality – something that Goff lacks. The majority of people will continue to warm to this aspect of Key.

    • burt 31.1

      For sure, I’ve had my kids planking around the house like that – I laughed at them as well.

  32. Rodel 32

    Can’t believe anyone would waste grey matter or time on this rubbish! Oh sh**t I just did!

  33. Georgecom 33

    As the lad mimics our growth rate, what I’d like to see from Mr Key is a PLAN, not a plank.

  34. Akldnut 34

    What the #*?@ happened to my comment???

  35. HC 35

    Right Son!

    Where’s the cane, mum?

    And take the shorts down a bit, so that I can give you the right kind of smacking straight onto your best part of the bottom!

  36. Adrian 36

    I heard a coment on NatRadio that some hack said that Key claimed to have discovered “planking” on the internet before anyone else, told his kids about it and that this photo was taken months ago. How bloody tragic and cynical is that, trying to claim Key is so hip. I would on the other hand believe it if his spinners said he was the man on the grassy knoll. Anything to be part of history.

    • William Joyce 36.1

      He also invented the internet, the post-it and does stand-up.
      This man is just a fount of hip, 21st century innovation! I can’t wait to see what he does with the economy!

    • Brett Dale 36.2

      Dont beleive everything you hear on the radio.

  37. Jason 37

    Oh I see……….you wanted to have a “PLanking” competition Max.

  38. HC 38

    Don Key’s son symbolically presenting his father’s economic policies: Flat, flatter and more flat = NO GROWTH!

  39. logie97 39

    Thinks, “Bugger Section 59! Should I? Who would find out? Max might tell.
    Oh sod S59. You should be bloody grateful to Bradford, Max.
    She just saved your bacon. Now get up and go to your room before I change my mind!”

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