You know you’re from Christchurch when…

Written By: - Date published: 1:36 pm, March 4th, 2011 - 53 comments
Categories: disaster, humour - Tags:

Sometimes black humour is the only way to cope. These are doing the rounds…

You know you’re in Christchurch when:

1.You use the term “liquefaction” and “seismic design” in casual conversation.
2.Digging a hole and pooping in your garden is no longer weird.
3. Your mayor describes the city as munted. If he means FUBARed, you agree
4.Weaving through car size potholes on the street is no longer weird
5.Going to Wellington to escape earthquakes makes sense
6.A shower is heaven
7.You have a preference of which kind of silt you’d rather shovel, dry or wet
8.You see tanks driving around town
9.You are always noting what you are standing under
10.Due to frequent aftershocks during the night, you sleep like a baby–every 10 minutes you wake up and sh*t yourself.

53 comments on “You know you’re from Christchurch when…”

  1. You know when you are NOT from Christchurch as you have a flushing toilet, a shower, (with hot water) electricity, you get to sleep all night and you have a choice where you can shop.

    I really admire the strength of Cantabrians.

  2. prism 2

    You know the spirit of Christchurch lives on, ironically, when you not only guess at the magnitude and location of aftershocks and take bets on it payable in ?

    A $14 bottle of milk??

    • Lanthanide 2.1

      My sister’s boyfriend won the aftershock magnitude guessing game yesterday.

  3. Draco T Bastard 3

    Laughter is the best medicine.

    Addendum: Sometimes it’s the only medicine.

  4. Adrian 4

    When the local home building company has taken down their sign that reads ” Build in brick, it’s permanent”.

  5. BLiP 5

    Heh!! Excellent. There’s actually something heartening when the dark humour starts to arise. It indicates to me that – generally speaking – the initial shock is dissipating and being replaced with some perspective and, perhaps, relief at having got through it all thus far.

    You know you’re from Christchurch when having sex the Earth *really* did move.

    Kia kaha Otautahi.

  6. r0b 6

    When suddenly the whole neighbourhood is on crack.

    When that pile of old roofing iron behind the garage turns out to be a treasure trove.

    When sometimes the best help you can give is to listen.

  7. todd 7

    A knock on the door is not a salesman or Jehovah witness.

    Your more productive with a shovel in your hands.

    You have competitions on who can shift the most silt.

    When a dust mask is fashionable.

    You need some liquor fiction to deal with it.

    A toilet never looked so good.

    The rest of the country offers you a place to stay.

    People give politics the attention it deserves.

  8. Lanthanide 8

    Voluntarily staying in Oamaru for 5 days seems like a good idea.

  9. DS 9

    You know you’re from Christchurch when even TVNZ reporters tell John Key he’s not doing a good job.

  10. Nancy 10

    When you start believing in the ‘man in the moon’

  11. Tora Kurosaki 11

    Haha. These really do lighten you’re day.
    Yes. Laughing is the best thing to do!!! 🙂

    “You know your in Christchurch when a game of Jenga only lasts 3mins”

    “You know your from Christchurch when bragging to Wellington about the size of yours isn’t as suggestive as it sounds”

    “You know your from Christchurch when the getting to know you question is not “what school didi you go to?” but “where were you when it hit?” ”

  12. kriswgtn 12

    When your 6 yr old niece says
    I am sick of gettin woken up.I need my sleep

  13. peter jamieson 13

    When the cabinate Minister who said there will be no earthquake czar looks set to become just that.

  14. Kate 14

    Just had the best sunday morning giggle ever. Thank you!

  15. linda 15

    Driving past more damage 3yr old grandson summed it up with …..
    “That earthquake was a messy bugger” !

  16. Lisa 16

    This is great it’s the first time I’ve had a laugh and I think we are awesome.

  17. Julia 17

    Agree with the comment that some humour means we’re starting to gather ourselves together post 22-2-11

    You know you’re in Christchurch when….you and your cat fight about who gets the best place to sh** in the garden

    You know you’re in Christchurch when….the thought of KFC – or any fast food – is suddenly ridiculously attractive

    You know you’re in Christchurch when….you go for a half hour walk and pass 17 port-a-loos en route

    • lprent 17.1

      The cat one is really quite good.. IMHO.

      • Anne 17.1.1

        Aaww come on lprent… it was damm good.

        • lprent

          I’m quick to notice problems (and start fixing them) and quite slow to praise. It is just a personality thing.

          Incidentally, it has been noticeable that the people commenting from the NZ Herald links so far have appeared to be almost entirely been women

          • Anne

            It’s alright lprent – just teasing :razz:.

            Where’s felix? I bet he could come up with some good ones.

    • Bev Sutherland 17.2

      I’ve got a raised garden. Want to guess how many people and cats could share ?

  18. Tess 18

    So nice to have a giggle! Needed that .. Thanx guys 😉

  19. Debbie 19

    I’m an Aussie who visited Christchurch just after the September earthquake and totally fell in love with the city and its people. Your bravery and great humour does my heart good. Cheering you all on from Toowoomba – where the ‘inland tsunami’ hit.

    • RedLogix 19.1

      Thanks Debbie…your heartfelt message is most welcome.

      The images we saw just months ago from Queensland were stunning in their own right … human solidarity can extend just as wide as our hearts permit.

  20. David 21

    You tell your kids “don’t touch the food, you’ve just washed your hands with soap and water”.

  21. David Rosen 22

    Humor increases hope. Simple,yet true!

  22. richard bartlett 23

    Local GPs are reporting that many people are presenting with a compulsion to punch Mayor “Bob” Parker on the nose.
    Psychologists are saying that this is perfectly normal, nothing to be alarmed about and that the condition had been noted long before the earthquake struck.

  23. Shazza 24

    When Loma Prieta 1989 (California) attendees admire the courage, grit, and determination of Cantabs. Go hard.

  24. angeline 25

    You know you are from Chch when you take your dirty washing on holiday with you …
    Your two year old finally wants to sit on his potty after he has seen you going to the toilet on a bucket …
    The hum of police helicopters at night is soothing…

  25. John Garvey 26

    1. When you have conflicting thoughts about looters, on one hand, you think they should be hang up in the town square (or even sent to Church there) on the other, three meals a day, power, water and a flushing toilet sound good.
    2. You ask your friends if you can use there toilet, then you ask them if you can flush there toilet.
    3. Someone says they have the jitters and you dive under a doorway.
    4. Dressing up to “Head into Town” is putting on a high viz vest, hard hat and boots.

    • Elizabeth B 26.1

      when everyone at your table freezes and it is only a truck going passed!

  26. Quakey 27

    You know someone is from Christchurch when they answer to the standard question how are you…
    “FINE (F- up, Insecure, Neurotic, Emotional)!”

  27. Dorothea Herron 28

    You know you are in Christchurch ………… when the whole household can judge the magnitude of an earthquake within two points

    You know you are in Christchurch ………… when you only take notice of an earthquake over a magnitude of 4

    When you look at an old building overseas and judge if it is safe in an earthquake!

    • shaky 28.1

      i like the one about when u look at a building in another country and judge to c if it will hold up in an earthquake ( i’ve done that hahahahahaaaaar)

  28. john e boy 29

    you know youre from Christchurch when your champion rugby team plays its matches in Nelson, (all away games)

  29. john e boy 30

    ….when your watch dog becomes a listen dog

  30. Derock 31 list your religion as ‘Quaker’
    ..70,000 people running from the CBD is NOT called ‘Round the Bays’ run.

  31. You no when you are in Christchurch when your bath now has a deep and shallow end!

  32. KJT 33

    “The hairdresser is open, but you have to wear a hard hat.” From one of the Lyttelton Harbour Pilots.

  33. carol Anderson 34

    This is just awesome I cant stop laughing and its doing me good.

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