Caption competition
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2:46 pm, September 25th, 2009 - 35 comments
Categories: humour, john key -
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35 comments on “Caption competition ”
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A new Child Protection Investigation Unit is being established to ensure the safety and wellbeing of children in care, Minister for Children Karen Chhour says. “The report released by the Royal Commission into abuse in state care shows us all the risk of not acting immediately when there are serious ...19 hours ago - Speech at United States Business Summit 2024
Ka nui te mihi kia koutou. Ka mihi ki te mana whenua ko Ngāti Whātua Ōrākei. Kia ora and good morning everyone. Thank you Fran and Simon for inviting me here today, and importantly your leadership of this forum over several years now. I want to acknowledge David Gehrenbeck, Deputy ...19 hours ago
- Record number of submissions received on granny flat proposal
Nearly 2,000 submissions have been received on the Government’s proposals aimed at making it easier to build a granny flat of up to 60 square metres without a resource or building consent, RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop and Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk say. “This is the highest number ...21 hours ago
- District Court Judge appointed
Attorney-General Judith Collins today announced the appointment of Rebecca Guthrie as a District Court Judge. Judge Guthrie was admitted to the bar in 1997 following her graduation from the University of Canterbury in 1996 (LLB, BA). She commenced her legal career in Hastings in 1997 before moving to London in ...22 hours ago
- Appointments strengthen Predator Free 2050
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- New facility in Christchurch will improve the lives of young New Zealanders
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- Driver safety screens to be installed on Auckland buses
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- Government action provides Southland farmers more time to meet plan requirements
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- Critical milestones for earthquake buildings review
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- Foreign Minister to visit Europe
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- First arrests made under gang patch ban
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- Better support for victims of sexual violence
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- Government moving forward with Regional Deals
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- MSA pilot participant update
One of the ten young men selected to participate in the Military-Style Academy Pilot has allegedly reoffended. Children’s Minister Karen Chhour is disappointed but says it would be naïve to think that none of these young men would reoffend. “I’m saddened that this young person has not taken this opportunity ...2 days ago
- Fighting for Kiwis in Trade
Delivered at Auckland Trade and Economic Policy School Good morning and thank you Deputy Vice Chancellor Lithander for your warm welcome and for inviting me to open Auckland Trade and Economic Policy School today. A Special thanks to the University of Auckland, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade and ...2 days ago
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Associate Education Minister David Seymour says that school attendance is continuing to rise. In Term 3 of 2024 51.3 per cent of students attended school regularly, an increase of 5.3 percentage points from 46 per cent in Term 3 of 2023. “This Government has prioritised student attendance and it is ...2 days ago
- Improving the lives of young New Zealanders
Ensuring New Zealand is the best place in the world for children and young people is the vision at the heart of the Government’s new Child and Youth Strategy, Child Poverty Reduction Minister Louise Upston says. “Childhood represents a huge opportunity to set people on a positive path towards living ...2 days ago
- Government continues work to reinstate livestock exports by sea
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Tēnā koutou katoa – it is a pleasure to be here today. I would like to begin by acknowledging the important leadership role you all play in ensuring a quality health system New Zealanders can trust. There is enormous clinical expertise in this room covering a wide range of disciplines. ...3 days ago
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Tēnā koutou katoa. Mr President, Excellencies, Delegates. New Zealand, and all nations represented here today, are already dealing with the impacts of climate change. Our households, businesses, and economies are bearing the costs of its effects. The choices we make now will shape the severity of these impacts for generations ...3 days ago
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- New Zealand supporting loss and damage fund
Climate Change Minister Simon Watts announced New Zealand will contribute NZ$10 million to the new Fund for Responding to Loss and Damage while at the annual United Nations Climate Change Conference (COP29) in Baku, Azerbaijan. “New Zealand is joining the global effort to address the significant challenge of responding to ...3 days ago
- Gang crackdown begins at stroke of midnight
The free ride for gangs is over when the clock strikes midnight tonight, with tough new laws officially coming into effect, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith and Police Minister Mark Mitchell say. “Gang patches will no longer be able to be worn in public. To earn the right to wear a ...3 days ago
- LGFA increases borrowing capacity to support high growth councils
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- Temporary Traffic Management costs revealed
The Government has revealed that over the past three years, the New Zealand Transport Agency (NZTA) has spent an eyewatering $786 million of taxpayers’ money on road cones and temporary traffic management (TTM), Transport Minister Simeon Brown says.“When I became Minister, I was surprised to learn that that NZTA did ...3 days ago
- Jurisdiction of Disputes Tribunal to double
Legislation that will double the financial jurisdiction of the Disputes Tribunal from $30,000 to $60,000 has passed first reading in Parliament today, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith. “We need to improve court timeliness and access to justice so that Kiwis and get on with their lives. Court delays affect everyone, the ...4 days ago
- Protecting New Zealand from foreign interference
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Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed news that the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) Board has approved funding towards pre-implementation and early works on the State Highway 1 (SH1) Belfast to Pegasus Motorway and Woodend Bypass Road of National Significance (RoNS). “Reaching this significant milestone is a reflection of our Government’s ...4 days ago
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Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says findings from the annual Health Survey highlight the need to continue driving better health outcomes for New Zealanders. The New Zealand Health Survey is an annual snapshot of key metrics measured from July 2023 – July 2024. Findings released this morning include: In 2023/24, ...4 days ago
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A renewed effort to get people to quit smoking will build on what has worked to date and target the groups who most need support, Associate Health Minister Casey Costello said today. “The latest New Zealand Health Survey results show the daily smoking rate at 6.9 per cent and we ...4 days ago
- New diplomatic appointments
Foreign Affairs Minister Winston Peters has announced four new diplomatic appointments. “Our diplomats play an important role in ensuring New Zealand’s interests are maintained and enhanced across the world,” Mr Peters says. “It is a pleasure to announce the appointment of these senior diplomats from the Ministry of Foreign ...4 days ago
- Next steps for Regulatory Standards Bill
Regulation Minister David Seymour has today announced the next steps in the Government’s plan improve the quality of regulation by opening consultation on a proposed Regulatory Standards Bill. “New Zealand's low wages can be blamed on low productivity, and low productivity can be blamed on poor regulation,” says Mr Seymour. ...4 days ago
- Red Tape Tipline goes live
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- Youth Parliament 2025 announced
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- Police stats show promising change
After nearly a year in Government, Kiwis have seen significant change across law and order with promising early results shown across some Police statistics, says Police Minister Mark Mitchell. “In August 2023, I told New Zealanders that if they had not started to see a change in public safety within ...5 days ago
- Better coordination of anti-scam efforts
With the launch of Fraud Awareness Week, the Government is committing to new coordination efforts across industry and government to combat online scams, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly says. “Online financial scams are a growing problem for New Zealand. New data released today shows that Kiwis lost nearly ...5 days ago
- Minister to consider 7AA select committee report
Minister for Children Karen Chhour will consider the recommendations made by the Social Services and Community Committee in its report back to Parliament on the Oranga Tamariki (Repeal of Section 7AA) Amendment Bill. “I want to thank the people who made submissions and those who appeared before the committee in ...5 days ago
- Defence Minister to attend ASEAN meeting
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- COP29 summit runs overtime as finance talks falter over ‘insult’
“Is it a joke?”That’s what Bolivian diplomat Diego Balanza said on Wednesday in Baku, Azerbaijan, when asked by a reporter about the possibility of the new global climate finance goal (the NCQG) landing at just US$200 billion a year. Developing countries have been pushing for a number in the trillions, ...2 hours ago - The Weekend: What would you march for?
Madeleine Chapman reflects on the week that was. When I was a junior writer at The Spinoff, Simon Wilson joined the team as Auckland editor. He’d been the editor of Metro for many years and was easily the most experienced journalist in the room. So if we both happened to ...3 hours ago - Celebrating families who give the ultimate gift
Amy Ng-Thomson’s first time walking up One Tree Hill/Maungakiekie was six months after a lung transplant.“It was a beautiful March day, and I always do it in March now… seeing the blue skies, the views, feeling the breeze, I get the sense that she’s with me every time I go ...3 hours ago
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Gordon was meant to be with him on that hike. It wasn’t high mountain stuff, but it was rugged, and it’s always sensible to have a companion when that far into the back country. They’d planned to do it in two days and knew each other’s capabilities. But Gordon got ...3 hours ago
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The veteran reviewer takes us through her life in television, including the allure of property shows, the crushing end of Campbell Live, and the review that got the most hate mail. Having reviewed television for The Listener for over three decades, award-winning critic Diana Wichtel has chronicled the medium through ...4 hours ago
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Of all the stereotypes about poets, perhaps the most enduring cliche is that poets can’t drive. But what evidence do we have to back that up? A non-driving poet attempts to find out the truth. Bob Dylan said it. Jo Shapcott said it. Wendy Cope said it. Martin Amis said it, ...4 hours ago
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HEATHER DU PLESSIS-ALLANI was driving down the middle of the road and Barry who was sitting next to me said,BARRY SOPER“Watch where you’re going!”HEATHERBy which he meant of course the idiots driving on either side of us, but mainly in the left lane. And he had a good point. Because ...4 hours ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Selma Hedlund, Postdoctoral Associate at Center of Forced Displacement, Boston University History is full of examples of governments using forced segregation against ethnic minorities. From settler colonialists coercing Indigenous peoples into reservations, Nazis forcing Jews into ghettos or the United States ...6 hours ago - Maritime Union joins opposition to live export shipments
The Maritime Union also has zero faith in government assurances of a gold standard for ships used for the trade. ...12 hours ago - Offshore oil and gas ban ‘worst political decision’, Shane Jones says
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A series of frantic text messages from Andrew Bayly to government staffers amid scrutiny over his actions at a winery have been revealed. ...14 hours ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Susan Grantham, Lecturer in Communication, Griffith University Shutterstock The federal government’s proposed social media ban for under-16s has sparked widespread debate, affecting millions of young Australians, their families and educators. But will it actually work? While the aim behind this ban ...16 hours ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Sam Robinson, Senior Research Fellow, Institute for Molecular Bioscience, The University of Queensland AG-PHOTOS/Shutterstock With the start of summer just days away, many of us will be looking forward to long sunny days spent at the beach, by the pool, out ...16 hours ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Jessica Stokes-Parish, Assistant Professor in Medicine, Bond University Pixel-Shot/Shutterstock If someone’s heart suddenly stops beating, they may only have minutes to live. Doing CPR (cardiopulmonary resusciation) can increase their chances of survival. CPR makes sure blood keeps pumping, providing oxygen to ...17 hours ago
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Why don’t I get the respect due to me? Why do I get treated like just another passer-by? At least they should recognise my self-designated title “The Smiling Assassin.” Scared anyone? Uh-uh?
“John Key, Prime Minister of New Zealand”
Snap!
…Here’s a hilarious one:
This is John Key, Prime Minister of New Zealand.
Zombie Economics
Hehehe – he sure looks dead, but how can you tell?
Ahhhh . . . ummmm . . . Kevin, mate, can I borrow your shower again. Letterman’s just told me I still stink.
“I would love to wages drop ..click…ah, look, you see, we’re looking into that and I’m confiodent we’re on the right track….click…I would love to see wages drop….click ah, look, we’re looking into that and I’m confident we’re on the right track….click….I would love to see wages drop….click….”
lol cptcha “weapons”
Petit mal.
Don’t be cruel.
KeyWeeze, Party Clown and high wire act.
Available for all functions.
Rates negotiable.
You are not in Guatemata now Dr Key
What’s Helen got that I haven’t?
“Shit, I TOLD them this ‘Blackadder Series One’ hairstyle would not play in New York!”
captcha: BOTTLE
He’s gone into energy-saver again. Quick! Push the manual override!
Sue Bradford resigned? who the hell is Sue Bradford?
When asked how he felt about appearing on Letterman, Key replied “I’m actually pretty relaxed about it’. He then sucked in air between his teeth and grinned inanely.
mmmmmmmmm………fame and adulation……….and here’s caucus and our policies……. DOH!
I won you lost eat that
ppprecious?
Um. You want I send troops to kill Iranistanians now? Yessir Barak. Sure. I’m pretty relaxed about that.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/26/world/middleeast/26nuke.html?_r=1&hp
Interviewer: You’ve just met possibly the most powerful man in the world, President Barrack Obama just after he addressed the United Nations General Assembly and on the eve of his departure to Pittsburg for the G20. What were your impressions, Mr Key?
John Key: ahhhh . . . jeeeze . . . hiz wyfe is roilly, roilly tall . . . moyd Bronagh lik luk a Hobbit . . . h-yuck h-yuck h-yuck . . .
JeebersChrist, can you imagine how this guy is going to fare without Extra-Cleaning-Bill English doing all the actual work?
A frightening thought – Crusher Collins, Basher Bennet, Chopper Tolley and Calamity Kate actually being in charge of Corrections, Police, Social Development & Employment, Youth Affairs, Education and Food Safety!!
Mind you, I bet the public service mandarins think Christmas has come early – there’ll be no way National Ltd can privatise that little lot with the Minister of Finance sitting in jail.
Fingers crossed.
” I have the highest approval ratings of every leader at this conference”
And the dignity of none.
This blog is becoming more and more like a pack of teenagers bitching about whether the new girl is pretty or not.
Why not have one post a week titled ‘I hate John Key’ where you can all go and cry and bitch rather than having the same post and comments over and over again.
We’ll drive you, nearly drive you out of your head
While we never shed
A tear
Remember, you remember, all that you said
You told us love was too plebeian
Told us you were through
Well now you can cry me a river, cry me a river . . .
Typical Righty – can dish out it but can’t take it, eh? Feel free to fuck off any time soon.
What is a typical rightie ? How about a typical leftie ?
Dress up your comment all you want but it’s just a variance on “I know you are but what am I? ”
I don’t really care if you spend all your time crying over Key but it has all the same appeal of the twats who used to do the same when HC was PM.
Some perspective is needed when even a post about the death of Sir Howard turns into a Key is shit/no he isn’t trollfest.
And your trolling is as dull and predictable as it was when you used to call yourself “hs” and tell lies about being a doctor.
Yawn Felix the Standard Tame troll fails again
1. wrong person
2. if it’s dull and predictable why do you feel the need to comment.
Go back to your harmonica and lame band surely it’s more rewarding than hangin around here stalking Timmy.
Oh the irony.
John Key has just seen the “jokes” he is required to read out on Letterman