Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 2:25 pm, December 10th, 2011 - 80 comments
Categories: caption contest, humour, national - Tags: , , ,

80 comments on “Caption contest”

  1. reedfleming 1

    By the skin of her teeth.

  2. Does this mean I am no longer a westie?

    • lprent 2.1

      No there’s something wrong with that…

      “Does this mean I don’t have to pretend to be a westie”

      After all, like being unemployed we have to believe that it is a choice that people make to avoid working.

      Oh well, now she is clear to parachute into the North Shore or Howick.

  3. dancerwaitakere 3

    Smile and wave.

  4. kriswgtn 5

    im so trying not to force one out my ass

  5. Jenny 6

    Ouch, that smarts!

  6. mike 7

    “I ate his liver with some fava beans, and a nice Chianti.”

  7. Craig Glen Eden 8

    Back seat of the Holden with yeah yeah coarse I will.

  8. Gruntie 9

    Im still going to screw the benies, bitch

  9. anne 10

    ‘You just wait til i get my un-elected hands on you’

  10. drongo 11

    Before I answer that one just let me fart. We all do that, right?

  11. just saying 12

    Bugger you all. I know my rights.
    I’ve been working here for much longer than 90 days

  12. My waters just broke. Phew, I’d be in trouble if I was having another child while still on a benefit.

  13. drongo 14

    I grimace like this to help cover up the shit I talk and that this can be seen in the fact that I do it more as the level of shit I talk increases. Check me out on youtube to see for yourself, here I am here, and nobody can fucking tell – I’m un-fucking-believeable, ou’ tau ya: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3y2QXrHfKL0

  14. Irascible 15

    These falsies KeY inserted should stop me saying anything for the next three years. Mind you I’ve never said anything meaningful so I can’t understand his insertion on me wearing them. At least I can still smile & wave.

  15. rod 16

    Who cares, we’ve still got John’s two Poodles and three more lined up.

    • Tel 16.1

      Wagging her tail fresh back from the dog groomer, shunned poodle made to beg for food.

      • Sunny 16.1.1

        All this comparison of the Key and Banks with poodles is unjust….poodles are smart little creatures capable of love.

        • Hami Shearlie 16.1.1.1

          Agreed Sunny! I have had three poodles! Banks is neither beautiful or intelligent which poodles are -he’s more like a vicious chihuahua called Noo-Noo on The Dog Whisperer. Dunne is like a spaniel, biddable, can be stubborn, not overly smart. Bennett is definitely NOT like a poodle. She’s a bulldog, stubborn, full of noise,(maybe a bit of drooling, and lots of foul wind) but, mainly, pretty darn thick!

          • Ms X 16.1.1.1.1

            Now you’ve upset the spaniel brigade…..

            • Hami Shearlie 16.1.1.1.1.1

              Sorry Ms X – I love spaniels too, had a Cavalier – he was clever in a sneaky way, but not brilliant like a poodle – spaniels are adorable though, unlike Dunny-Brush!

  16. Hilary 17

    See the teethwhitening and dental work you taxpayers funded. Only the best for me.

    • arbeitslos 17.1

      Thought very much the same

      “Good thing I paid $$$$ for the teeth whitening before the election”

      P.S. Paula – my teeth are full of holes – have to wait for an emergency i.e. they fall out or break before WINZ will fund a trip to the dentist!

  17. Tel 18

    Waitakere United debut new look football for 2012

  18. McFlock 19

    No, I’m not the Joker in disguise. It’s just pure coincidence that I kept referring to the electorate as “West Gotham”.

  19. red blooded 20

    You’re mean!
    I’m going to hold my breath until my face turns blue… Oh wait: it already is!

  20. Deadly_NZ 21

    Fuck John Key, I’m a Joker Fan

    • mik e 21.1

      I haven’t lost ! any weight with my tax payer funded stomach staple so I have had my teeth wired.
      So like bill English I have nothing I can say

  21. fabregas4 23

    “I made the most of a strong welfare system myself, I did” “But why should anyone else get any help”

    “it’s all about me! Me! Me!”.

    “fuck I lost”.

  22. Populuxe1 24

    “Bring me Solo and the Wookie”

  23. fabregas4 25

    “I’ll do 12 of you if you can get your vote in quickly”. “bugger it, I’ll do it anyway”.

  24. Jackal 26

    My teeth aren’t the only thing I’m clenching.

  25. ianmac 27

    When monkeys bare their teeth watch out!

  26. Adrian 28

    “I just needed 12 more people to weigh in on my side. Fuck, I weigh more than 12 people, doesn’t that count.”

  27. drongo 29

    Shut up Murray, I think I’m about there.

  28. fatty 30

    OK then…make it 4 scoops – and throw in a couple of donuts

  29. randal 31

    is that a big fat joint in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

  30. higherstandard 32

    Hooray are we doing fat jokes ?

    here’s one for you all.

    http://nx-files.blogspot.com/2011/08/carmel-sepuloni.html

    • drongo 32.1

      And notice how the pathetic two comments didn’t say a thing about anything Carmel said in the clip. All those TWO people could focus on was what she was wearing. Just take a hike, loser.

  31. jaymam 33

    Runner up in the John Key look-a-like contest!

  32. Uhoooo……Gareth honey – it’s me…Paula.

  33. ropata 35

    I am going to sit next to Banksie in the House! Yippee!!!
    I just sat on a poor kid, Ooopsie LOLZ

  34. Paul Campbell 36

    Do I believe that MMPs who lose electorate seats should not be allowed to get in on the list? Yes! of course!oh, oh, wait, that was yesterday, No! No!

  35. Jackal 37

    Look what twice the dose of smile and wave meds did to me.

  36. Jared 38

    11 Votes, what a mandate!

  37. seeker 39

    “gottle of geer, gottle of geer, gottle of geer……”,

  38. Treetop 40

    Being beaten fair and square by the better opponent would not have left her grining like a donkey.

  39. arbeitslos 41

    Ooh that hurts just a little bit – stick it to me John!

  40. Karl Sinclair 42

    Bubbles DeVere

    Call me Bubbles darling, everybody does!’ “Why don’t you take a photo? It lasts longer!”

    clip

    [lprent: got to fix this bug. ]

  41. kriswgtn 43

    ouch agh hell

    FUK OUCH

    That jokey hen has my remote control for my pleasure dispenser

  42. alan 44

    Not really a caption, but if Princess Fiona and the Donkey (in Shrek) were to breed – –

  43. Roy 45

    I can only smile and wave at the same time if I concentrate really hard.

  44. Think Toothpaste Advert

    “Oh Look, it does get in…NOT ANY MORE!”

  45. swordfish 47

    Photographer captures the exact moment the collective boot of Waitakere voters hits Paula Bennett’s arse.

  46. prune 48

    Look at me before I go back on the DPB.

  47. newsense 49

    The superglue was essential to holding the smile in place whatever happened, but the the tension in the neck muscles betrayed the jaws’ desire to be prized apart and scream.

  48. Craig Glen Eden 50

    I said I wanted a boob job but the Surgeon said Austerity was in so I had a facelift and chin enlargement on a reduced rate, what do think ladies?

  49. strategos 51

    Vacancy: Aviation Adviser, AfPak Border

  50. Takere 52

    Jenny Craigs best advice for Paula on how to lose weight …. keep your mouth shut!!

  51. Chris Oden 53

    I’m totally relaxed.John loves me because I always say and do exactly what he tells me to.He will just bump someone else off the list.Just for me!AND I came first in totally meaningless smiling class.

  52. Jackal 54

    I’m trying not to leak… your details to the media.

  53. fender 55

    “Behind me you will see some photos of children I intend to destroy through poverty, my smile is fake but I will enjoy seeing them starve”

    ” I’m now number 9 instead of 14….and you all thought I was too big to fit under the table between JK’s legs”

  54. M 56

    “Shit, forgot to have my tetanus shot.”

  55. Jackal 57

    Shut up or I’ll eat you.

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