Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 10:31 am, January 3rd, 2014 - 110 comments
Categories: brand key, class war, crosby textor, john key, Minister for Overseas Holidays, Minister for Photo-ops, same old national, slippery, spin, us politics - Tags:

Celebrity golf!  Which one will get voted off the island first!?

 

 

Meanwhile the world burns, the poor struggle, workers are exploited and increasingly insecure, and the wealth gap continues to be a blight on our country.  It seems to brighter future is in Hawaii, for the bankster-supporting elites.

110 comments on “Caption contest ”

  1. tricledrown 1

    HawaiiKey marches to Americas tune.

  2. NOT fisiani 2

    John, I trust you will beat David in the election. Good luck.

    [lprent: Already banned – adding another IP. ]

    • fisiani 2.1

      That was not a post by the one and only fisiani

      [lprent: Ah yes… Thank “santi”. ]

  3. tricledrown 3

    I know what you saying we johnny.nsa joke.

  4. tricledrown 4

    Unidenfified person seen with another world leader.

  5. taranaki 5

    President Barack Obama plays golf with an unidentified guest

  6. Will@Welly 6

    karol, I made a very snide remark about Key and Obama earlier in the piece, holidaying in Hawaii together. What a joke.
    Caption: “Unidentified newbie horrifies Obama by displaying too much pasty flesh.”

  7. Pascal's bookie 7

    Two competitors in the annual Upper Class Twit of the Year practice for the Synchronised Walking event.

  8. fender 8

    Synchronised Spies..

  9. Kevin 9

    See, Left and Right can get along together. Worth another 100,000 votes for John….

  10. xtasy 10

    I am NOT the LEAST surprised, as that is exactly what I had expected “Golden Boy Johnny” (aka the ‘Slippery Slimy Schemer’) to get up to during his Hawaiian retreat!

    But I am waiting for some photos of him with some Hollywood greats, with the CEO of Monsanto, of other multinationals (IT, pharmaceuticals and so), and perhaps some great “banksters” also to surface.

    Lest we be surprised, this is what the much MSM cheered “Leader Maximo” is all about! And who has shares and owns Mediaworks, APN, Fairfax and Sky TV? Who now sits on the boards of TVNZ and Radio NZ? Who of them in private media and entertainment will write out fat cheques for the National Party, and who will front talk back and the TV screens leading up to the general election 2014? Let us wait and see, I suspect we can already make some presumptions with at least a moderate validity.

  11. infused 11

    Yes. Because the PM can’t have a holiday.

    • fender 11.1

      Yes(?). Because the PM can’t have a holiday in NZ when he’s required in Hawaii to receive his next set of instructions.

      FIFY

      • infused 11.1.1

        This must be why the left get no traction. Posting bullshit like this.

        • fender 11.1.1.1

          Don’t you dare call our Key bullshit!! Get it right!! He’s a lapdog, FFS!!

          • Will@Welly 11.1.1.1.1

            fender – you are so beautiful, that makes me almost cry.
            as for infused, methinks totally confused, bitter and twisted, like someone’s ill-gotten little sibling, who got forgotten in the Christmas rush, and ended up with just a raspberry at the bottom of their Christmas stocking – sad. Still, J.K. might give them a lollypop to suck on when he gets home, just like the one J.K. got to suck on in Hawaii with President Obama.

    • North 11.2

      Yes (?). Because he’s played many stages has John Boy.

      Prime Mincer

      Prime Mournister

      Prime Mashie

      Prime Monster next ?

    • karol 11.3

      If he’s on holiday, why the front page promo photos?

      • infused 11.3.1

        Are you really that stupid?

        Because like most fluff, people gobble it up. You being one.

        Same crap with the batch.

        All you’ve done, once again, is give Key & National more lime light and show NZ that the tall poppy syndrome is still in full swing.

        I don’t care, it just blows me away you guys still going on about this, fluff, then cry foul when the left can’t gain any traction. Look in the mirror.

        • Pete 11.3.1.1

          Until the left can appreciate their adversary’s strengths, they will always be a step behind. This sort of meaningless spite repels a lot of left of centre voters. For pity sake just focus on the issues and leave the ranting behind. My personal view is that there are a lot of middle ground voters who are waiting to be wooed with credible policies, and many of these don’t like personality politics. Key is probably the most popular PM ever, so the continual snide attacks are playing to his strengths, and continuing to portray the left as bitter.

          • SPC 11.3.1.1.1

            So the relentless personal attacks on Helen Clark turned off voters and made National less electable?

            • Pete 11.3.1.1.1.1

              You missed the main point of my comment. Key is very popular- there is no point playing to his strengths. Because he is so popular the attacks rebound on the messenger. Helen Clark had lost a lot of her mana so personal attacks were more effective. Having said that I found them very distasteful (just in case you were wondering).
              Labour spent too much time and resource focussing their efforts on attacking and discrediting Key. Far better to go after him another way. That is what I am saying.

              • felix

                Bullshit.

                The personal attacks against Helen Clark have been consistent from at least the 1980s onwards, through all phases of her political career, including the height of her popularity.

                They are also far, far more vicious and nasty than anything Key is ever likely to endure.

                • Anne

                  Can confirm that is correct. I was there. It actually began before she won the Mt Albert candidature in 1980 when a covert campaign was waged to prevent her from being selected. However, they didn’t take into account the membership – some 400 of them were present at the meeting – who voted overwhelmingly for Helen.

                  • karol

                    Was that from within Labour? I get the feeling some Labourites (the Tamihere-types for instance), still have not got over their angst at having had a woman PM.

                    • Anne

                      Yes karol. They were part of the right wing faction in Labour and most followed Roger Douglas and Richard Prebble and joined ACT.

              • karol

                All the parties attack the leaders of other parties one way or another (Key on Norman for instance). John Key’s smiley photo ops are the Nats’ main election pitch – therefore should be exposed.

                There’s also a difference from MPs & their staff attacking other MPs/PM and non-party people making a few jokes.

              • Bill

                Agree with the basic point your making Pete. Don’t know about the mana and Helen Clark. I’d suggest that being a woman, she was always in danger of being an easy target for easy vitriol that was very unlikely to back fire.

                That, and I’m over ‘the bagging’ of Key. It’s fcking boring. People aren’t stupid. This swanning around being all rich and blokey blokey is just possibly wearing thin.

                Except, just maybe – drowning man thrown life belt of counter productive slagging?

                • adam

                  Ah come on Bill it’s a wee bit of fun. Like

                  “Obama shows Key how to really f*&k over indigenous culture, playing golf with Hawaiian nuts”

                  “Kiwi’s shocked to discover Prime Minister is really white dough”

                  ” New Zealand Prime Minister told ‘Dam those legs are white, never heard of a spray tan?’ “

  12. Treetop 12

    During a game of golf was the management of Dotcom mentioned?

  13. joe90 13

    Hey there Barry – does ya like mā shirt….

  14. North 14

    “Fuck sake John Boy, stop whining ! Even if the tracking device does malfunction I’ve still got some balls left…….”

    Interesting that at time of writing a slight majority of the respondents to the Stuff Poll about what it all means have gone with – “Nothing – two rich guys playing an elitist sport”.

  15. fender 15

    Golf carts park on the left because they realise these two only slice it to the right..

    • alwyn 15.1

      For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of a round of golf with President Obama I suppose I should point out that he only slices the ball to the LEFT, not the right.
      He plays left-handed golf you see. Not a bad golfer for someone who gets as little practice as he does.

      • fender 15.1.1

        “He plays left-handed golf you see.”

        Scandalous. This must be that gigantic bombshell Donald Trump was going on about..

        • alwyn 15.1.1.1

          I had to check the date on this item, just to make sure that it wasn’t 1 April.
          Trump certainly is more than a little bit nuts isn’t he?
          I wonder if he ever came out with anything? He probably announced, to a fanfare of trumpets, that that evil man Obama had once sworn at his daughter’s puppy for chewing one of his slippers.
          Actually Trump makes Mike Williams seem almost sane. Remember how Mike was going to drop a “neutron bomb” on John Key during the 2008 campaign. That fizzer was just as successful as Trump’s little effort here.
          This one gave me a laugh though.

          • fender 15.1.1.1.1

            Mike does sound “a little bit nuts” when he “agrees with Matthew (Hooton)” every other day, but it’s certainly unfair to say he could make Trump seem sane.
            Others will know exactly what Mike went searching for but I suspect “that fizzer” was just a lack of concrete evidence involving Keys part in the 1987 attack on the NZ dollar , or some other shady banker related goings on. With his dishonest face and ability to tell lies I’m sure there is plenty NZers are yet to learn about Key.

  16. C George 16

    “Scratch me Barack and I’ll keep kissing YA”

  17. Rebel Radius 17

    “As Key holed with a 9 iron on the 11th green, a few kiwi’s pondered a potential false flag event”

  18. C George 18

    ‘President humors his poodle!’

  19. seeker 19

    The odd couple.

  20. fender 20

    Obama: ” I said get me a round with Lydia Ko, not an idiot nobody knows!!!”

  21. Seeker 21

    The odd couple.

    Very odd , and if truth be told unsettling and quease inducing.

  22. obama to key:..

    ‘did you get the latest memo from ‘the boys’ in zurich as well..?

    ..they are getting a bit antsy about all that anti-poverty stuff..

    ..eh..?

    ..we’ll have to crack down on that..nip that in the bud..’

    phillip ure..

  23. obama to key:

    ‘so then i told him:..’you will do what i fucken say..or i will drone you’..

    ..he nearly shat his pants..and then did what i ordered..’

    key:..’heh..!’..

    phillip ure..

  24. paPA Tuanuku 24

    Key keeps well to the right of Obama.

  25. obama to key:..

    ‘so..how did the boys go with the insurrection-suppression exercise in little ol’ noo zeeland?’

    key:..’good..good..it’s all sorted..we’ll be able to get the whole country locked down in about 72 hrs..

    ..should the peasants get restless..’

    obama:.’heh!’..

    ..key:..those urban-insurrection-suppression armoured vehicles helen clark bought are a godsend..

    ..they mean we can get quickly to.. and crush ..any ‘brushfires’..’

    obama:..’heh..!..good..!..good work..!..

    ..i’ll tell the boys in zurich you have done well..’

    ..key:..(shuffling-feet)..’aww!!..thanks barry!’

    phillip ure..

  26. obama to key:

    ‘you into swinging..?..a little bit of holiday ebony and ivory..?..’

    key:..’i’ll check with the missus’..

    phillip ure..

    • karol 26.1

      Not funny, phillip.

      • phillip ure 26.1.1

        really..?..um..!..why not..?

        ..how exactly is that ‘out of bounds’..?

        joke breakdown:..

        ..’swinging’..golf..get it..?

        ..a little riff on a michael jackson/paul mccartney duet..?

        ..and the surprise/humour of the unexpected..

        ..it’s a three-fer..!

        ..and i wd submit..at least as funny as others’ contriibutions on this thread..

        phillip ure..

  27. joe90 27

    Hey Barry, put it there bro, à trois.

  28. obama:..

    “..you’re wearing the black-hat..

    ..and i’m wearing the white one..”

    (key:..’yeah..!..funny that..’..(thinks:..’fuck..!..this guy is boring..!..is that all he’s got..?)..’

    phillip ure..

  29. key to obama:..

    ‘see..i can march in lockstep with you..!’..

    obama:..’yeah..ok..just make sure you keep it up..’

    key:..’oh!..i will barry..i will..!..i promise..!..

    ..and can i please come to the white house again this year..?..

    ..it’s an election year for me..and it’s gonna be close..’

    ..obama:..’ok’…

    ..key:..’thanks barry..!..thanks..!’..

    phillip ure..

  30. fisiani 30

    Yes we can.

  31. C George 31

    ‘The master spends some time with his faithful lapdog’

  32. Brian 32

    Key demonstrates his concern for those living under bridges in his usual fashion.

  33. Rebel Radius 33

    Interesting to note that my caption was censored. I have no idea why? Here’s another shot down the fairway.

    “As Key holed with a 9 iron on the 11th green, a few kiwi’s wondered about a false flag”

    [lprent: First time comments from a new identity are always moderated. That depends when a moderator is around and during holiday periods, the answer to that is “rarely”. You have to get one comment approved by a moderator before your comments are passed without mandatory moderation. We have this little tool called “approve with probation” that helps us on the marginal cases. ]

  34. Steve Wrathall 34

    “I’m spending shitloads more than my predecessor”
    “Yeah, me too”

  35. obama to key:..

    “..you remember we’ve got that big meet with the zurich boys tomorrow..eh..?

    ..you and helen..and me and george w…they have demanded that we all be there..

    ..dunno what that is about..but i guess they’ll let us know then..

    ..and..do you want a un-job too..?.john..?…when they finally throw you out..?

    ..you’ve earned it..”

    phillip ure..

  36. joe90 36

    Now, about that those health care reforms…

  37. obama:..what is the pot-crop on maui like this year..?..”

    key:..’choice..!..’..

    obama:..’heh!..send me some..’

    obama:..’will you legalise in new zealand..?’

    key:..nah..!..the booze-lobby won’t have a bar of it..(geddit..?..geddit.?..’bar’..?..)

    ..obama:..’heh..!..’

    key:..’they are screaming that it would hurt their bottom-line..

    ..and they are big contributors…

    ..and it is an election year..

    .so..nah..!..there’ll be no pot-legalising on my watch..’

    phillip ure..

  38. C George 38

    “What’s taking you so long? Just hit the blasted ball!”

    “David is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot!”

    “Forget it. You just don’t stand a chance in hell of hitting him this year from anywhere, let alone from here!”

  39. Philj 39

    “Key Apes President”

  40. Tracey 40

    “I’ve never felt whiter” b obama

  41. Tracey 41

    President Obama with unidentified caddy st exclusive Hawaiian golf club

  42. David H 42

    Key to Obama. “Where’s the camera’s, where’s the Camera’s, Please,please tell me where the Camera’s, are so I can get my good side in.”

  43. BLiP 43

    Why aren’t you carrying my bag, Obama? In fact, how did you even get on Planet Key?

  44. Grumpy 44

    Who is the black guy with John Key?

  45. Grumpy 45

    I’m sure we left Vladimir around here somewhere, hope he’s not hiding in the bunker again.

  46. Grumpy 46

    Well, John, now we have solved World Peace, what do you know about The Meaning Of Life?

  47. Grumpy 47

    John, do you think you could get me invited to play a round at Millbrook?

  48. Grumpy 48

    John Key enjoys a holiday using his own money!

  49. C George 49

    BO plays with his white slave.

  50. McFlock 50

    [to self] goddammit! I’d really wanted to suck up by dressing exactly like him, but my cap is dark blue!

  51. rhinocrates 51

    Obama: Ah, John, I really need to use the… you know, the bathroom.

    Key: …akshully… ah, well, we don’t have any.

    Obama: What?!

  52. Seti 52

    John, I thought I’d have more in common with the left of your political spectrum but your Mr Cunliffe thought golf was an updated people’s car.

  53. amirite 53

    Obama on spotting Key on the golf course, mutters to himself : Fuck, not him again!

  54. Philj 54

    Xox
    Key:-
    “Racewalking REALLY is cool, Barack! “

  55. C George 55

    “Talk birdie to me, BO”
    “The eagle has landed! The eagle has landed!…Oops! I mean the hawk!’

  56. woodpecker 56

    Ya doesn’t look like I’ll be getting a third term either.

  57. C George 57

    “Hey Johnny, can you make a hole in one?”
    “Sure! How deep do you want it?”

  58. SPC 58

    Barack, my people come from Hawaii Key, and soon I must go to them and continue my reign.

  59. Pete 59

    Obama kept on teeing off first as Key had no honour at all.

  60. irascible 60

    Key hires Obama mimic to play golf … following advice from PR company that polling looks bad for him.

  61. home help 61

    When Johnny comes marching home again blah blah blah
    Ditto
    When Johnny comes marching home again he’ll write more lies with his fountain pen
    Hurrah hurrah home to Dixie land

  62. tricledrown 62

    Alwyn Obama has played 150 rounds of golf since becoming president.
    151 Now

  63. fender 63

    The kind of photo Keys new photographer was supposed to capture.

  64. mac1 64

    “Hmmmmm, how about….

    “Hail to the PM we have chosen for the nation,

    Hail to the PM! We salute him, one and all.

    Hail to the PM, as we pledge cooperation

    In proud fulfillment of a great, noble call.

    Yours is the aim to make this bright country brighter,

    This you will do, that’s our strong, firm belief.
    
Hail to the one we selected as Prime Minister,

    Hail to the PM! Hail to the Chief!”

  65. ruup 65

    Obama to key “I’ve lost my balls”
    Key to Obama “I never had any”

  66. tricledrown 66

    Key saying to Obama can we change the name of our home state back to its original name(Hawaiikey).
    Yes we can.

  67. tricledrown 67

    Obama to Hawaiikey one “we” problem the Can problem ,you expect me to Go Behind the Bushes.
    By the way do you have the Key to the john.

  68. tricledrown 68

    How are the allwhites going this year we johnny not so good.
    The allblacks are doing really well though.

  69. Treetop 69

    Photo courtesy of the GCSB and the FBI.

    How many GCSB and FBI are in the golf carts?

    Key to Dotcom “I said twos company threes a crowd, go and hide in the trees.

  70. grumpy 70

    I won, please send chocky fish to Amy Adam’s electorate office for me to pick up……….

  71. tricledrown 71

    Obamas
    Humming Nilsons me and my shadow.

  72. ecossemaid 72

    Keys: ” Yes Mr President, Anything!”
    Obama: “Yet I haven’t asked you to do anything yet John!”
    Keys: “Of Course Mr President”
    Obama: ” After that unfortunate security incident in South Africa, its been decided by my Security advisors I need my own 24/7 Signer, who has to be able to Sign in complete bollocks”
    Keys: “Oh I am very fluent in absolute bollocks, ask any one back home!”
    Obama: “Yet your allegedly Prime Minister of New Zealand, wont they miss you?”
    Key: ” I am hardly ever there, they wont even notice Mr President”
    Obama: ” Your Hired! Now make yourself useful and clean my balls!

  73. ropata 73

    JK: “Will you please render Kim Dotcom to Guantanomo Mr President?”

    BO: “Hmm, only if you ratify the TPPA, hand over the GCSB, and give away more stuff to Hollywood moguls… and let me win this round of course”

    JK: “Sure thing boss, anything to be re-elected”

  74. tricledrown 74

    SHG
    Your talking of brownoseofKey.
    Abreviated brownosofky.

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    Yesterday I happily quoted the Prime Minister without fact-checking him and sure enough, it turns out his numbers were all to hell. It’s not four kg of Royal Commission report, it’s fourteen.My friend and one-time colleague-in-comms Hazel Phillips gently alerted me to my error almost as soon as I’d hit ...
    More Than A FeildingBy David Slack
    2 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Journal of Record for Thursday, July 25

    TL;DR: As of 6:00 am on Thursday, July 25, the top six announcements, speeches, reports and research around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day were:The Abuse in Care Royal Commission of Inquiry published its final report yesterday.PM Christopher Luxon and The Minister responsible for ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    2 days ago
  • A tougher line on “proactive release”?

    The Official Information Act has always been a battle between requesters seeking information, and governments seeking to control it. Information is power, so Ministers and government agencies want to manage what is released and when, for their own convenience, and legality and democracy be damned. Their most recent tactic for ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    3 days ago
  • 'Let's build a motorway costing $100 million per km, before emissions costs'

    TL;DR: The top six things I’ve noted around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy today are:Transport and Energy Minister Simeon Brown is accelerating plans to spend at least $10 billion through Public Private Partnerships (PPPs) to extend State Highway One as a four-lane ‘Expressway’ from Warkworth to Whangarei ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    3 days ago
  • Lester's Prescription – Positive Bleeding.

    I live my life (woo-ooh-ooh)With no control in my destinyYea-yeah, yea-yeah (woo-ooh-ooh)I can bleed when I want to bleedSo come on, come on (woo-ooh-ooh)You can bleed when you want to bleedYea-yeah, come on (woo-ooh-ooh)Everybody bleed when they want to bleedCome on and bleedGovernments face tough challenges. Selling unpopular decisions to ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    3 days ago
  • Casey Costello gaslights Labour in the House

    Please note:To skip directly to the- parliamentary footage in the video, scroll to 1:21 To skip to audio please click on the headphone icon on the left hand side of the screenThis video / audio section is under development. ...
    Mountain TuiBy Mountain Tui
    3 days ago
  • Why is the Texas grid in such bad shape?

    This is a re-post from the Climate Brink by Andrew Dessler Headline from 2021 The Texas grid, run by ERCOT, has had a rough few years. In 2021, winter storm Uri blacked out much of the state for several days. About a week ago, Hurricane Beryl knocked out ...
    3 days ago
  • Gordon Campbell on a textbook case of spending waste by the Luxon government

    Given the crackdown on wasteful government spending, it behooves me to point to a high profile example of spending by the Luxon government that looks like a big, fat waste of time and money. I’m talking about the deployment of NZDF personnel to support the US-led coalition in the Red ...
    WerewolfBy lyndon
    3 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Pick 'n' Mix for Wednesday, July 24

    TL;DR: My pick of the top six links elsewhere around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day or so to 7:40 am on Wednesday, July 24 are:Deep Dive: Chipping away at the housing crisis, including my comments RNZ/Newsroom’s The DetailNews: Government softens on asset sales, ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    3 days ago
  • LXR Takaanini

    As I reported about the city centre, Auckland’s rail network is also going through a difficult and disruptive period which is rapidly approaching a culmination, this will result in a significant upgrade to the whole network. Hallelujah. Also like the city centre this is an upgrade predicated on the City ...
    Greater AucklandBy Patrick Reynolds
    3 days ago
  • Four kilograms of pain

    Today, a 4 kilogram report will be delivered to Parliament. We know this is what the report of the Royal Commission of Inquiry into Abuse in State and Faith-based Care weighs, because our Prime Minister told us so.Some reporter had blindsided him by asking a question about something done by ...
    More Than A FeildingBy David Slack
    3 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Journal of Record for Wednesday, July 24

    TL;DR: As of 7:00 am on Wednesday, July 24, the top six announcements, speeches, reports and research around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day are:Beehive: Transport Minister Simeon Brown announced plans to use PPPs to fund, build and run a four-lane expressway between Auckland ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    3 days ago
  • Luxon gets caught out

    NewstalkZB host Mike Hosking, who can usually be relied on to give Prime Minister Christopher Luxon an easy run, did not do so yesterday when he interviewed him about the HealthNZ deficit. Luxon is trying to use a deficit reported last year by HealthNZ as yet another example of the ...
    PolitikBy Richard Harman
    3 days ago
  • A worrying sign

    Back in January a StatsNZ employee gave a speech at Rātana on behalf of tangata whenua in which he insulted and criticised the government. The speech clearly violated the principle of a neutral public service, and StatsNZ started an investigation. Part of that was getting an external consultant to examine ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    4 days ago
  • Are we fine with 47.9% home-ownership by 2048?

    Renting for life: Shared ownership initiatives are unlikely to slow the slide in home ownership by much. Photo: Lynn Grieveson / The KākāTL;DR: The top six things I’ve noted around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy today are:A Deloitte report for Westpac has projected Aotearoa’s home-ownership rate will ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    4 days ago
  • Let's Win This

    You're broken down and tiredOf living life on a merry go roundAnd you can't find the fighterBut I see it in you so we gonna walk it outAnd move mountainsWe gonna walk it outAnd move mountainsAnd I'll rise upI'll rise like the dayI'll rise upI'll rise unafraidI'll rise upAnd I'll ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    4 days ago
  • Waimahara: The Singing Spirit of Water

    There’s been a change in Myers Park. Down the steps from St. Kevin’s Arcade, past the grassy slopes, the children’s playground, the benches and that goat statue, there has been a transformation. The underpass for Mayoral Drive has gone from a barren, grey, concrete tunnel, to a place that thrums ...
    Greater AucklandBy Connor Sharp
    4 days ago
  • A major milestone: Global climate pollution may have just peaked

    This is a re-post from Yale Climate Connections Global society may have finally slammed on the brakes for climate-warming pollution released by human fossil fuel combustion. According to the Carbon Monitor Project, the total global climate pollution released between February and May 2024 declined slightly from the amount released during the same ...
    4 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Pick 'n' Mix for Tuesday, July 23

    TL;DR: My pick of the top six links elsewhere around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day or so to 7:00 am on Tuesday, July 23 are:Deep Dive: Penlink: where tolling rhetoric meets reality BusinessDesk-$$$’s Oliver LewisScoop: Te Pūkenga plans for regional polytechs leak out ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    4 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Journal of Record for Tuesday, July 23

    TL;DR: As of 6:00 am on Tuesday, July 23, the top six announcements, speeches, reports and research around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day are:Health: Shane Reti announced the Board of Te Whatu Ora- Health New Zealand was being replaced with Commissioner Lester Levy ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    4 days ago
  • HealthNZ and Luxon at cross purposes over budget blowout

    Health NZ warned the Government at the end of March that it was running over Budget. But the reasons it gave were very different to those offered by the Prime Minister yesterday. Prime Minister Christopher Luxon blamed the “botched merger” of the 20 District Health Boards (DHBs) to create Health ...
    PolitikBy Richard Harman
    4 days ago
  • 2500-3000 more healthcare staff expected to be fired, as Shane Reti blames Labour for a budget defic...

    Long ReadKey Summary: Although National increased the health budget by $1.4 billion in May, they used an old funding model to project health system costs, and never bothered to update their pre-election numbers. They were told during the Health Select Committees earlier in the year their budget amount was deficient, ...
    Mountain TuiBy Mountain Tui
    4 days ago
  • Might Kamala Harris be about to get a 'stardust' moment like Jacinda Ardern?

    As a momentous, historic weekend in US politics unfolded, analysts and commentators grasped for precedents and comparisons to help explain the significance and power of the choice Joe Biden had made. The 46th president had swept the Democratic party’s primaries but just over 100 days from the election had chosen ...
    PunditBy Tim Watkin
    5 days ago
  • Solutions Interview: Steven Hail on MMT & ecological economics

    TL;DR: I’m casting around for new ideas and ways of thinking about Aotearoa’s political economy to find a few solutions to our cascading and self-reinforcing housing, poverty and climate crises.Associate Professor runs an online masters degree in the economics of sustainability at Torrens University in Australia and is organising ...
    The KakaBy Steven Hail
    5 days ago
  • Reported back

    The Finance and Expenditure Committee has reported back on National's Local Government (Water Services Preliminary Arrangements) Bill. The bill sets up water for privatisation, and was introduced under urgency, then rammed through select committee with no time even for local councils to make a proper submission. Naturally, national's select committee ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    5 days ago
  • Vandrad the Viking, Christopher Coombes, and Literary Archaeology

    Some years ago, I bought a book at Dunedin’s Regent Booksale for $1.50. As one does. Vandrad the Viking (1898), by J. Storer Clouston, is an obscure book these days – I cannot find a proper online review – but soon it was sitting on my shelf, gathering dust alongside ...
    5 days ago
  • Gordon Campbell On The Biden Withdrawal

    History is not on the side of the centre-left, when Democratic presidents fall behind in the polls and choose not to run for re-election. On both previous occasions in the past 75 years (Harry Truman in 1952, Lyndon Johnson in 1968) the Democrats proceeded to then lose the White House ...
    WerewolfBy lyndon
    5 days ago
  • Joe Biden's withdrawal puts the spotlight back on Kamala and the USA's complicated relatio...

    This is a free articleCoverageThis morning, US President Joe Biden announced his withdrawal from the Presidential race. And that is genuinely newsworthy. Thanks for your service, President Biden, and all the best to you and yours.However, the media in New Zealand, particularly the 1News nightly bulletin, has been breathlessly covering ...
    Mountain TuiBy Mountain Tui
    5 days ago
  • Why we have to challenge our national fiscal assumptions

    A homeless person’s camp beside a blocked-off slipped damage walkway in Freeman’s Bay: we are chasing our tail on our worsening and inter-related housing, poverty and climate crises. Photo: Photo: Lynn Grieveson / The KākāTL;DR: The top six things I’ve noted around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    5 days ago
  • Existential Crisis and Damaged Brains

    What has happened to it all?Crazy, some'd sayWhere is the life that I recognise?(Gone away)But I won't cry for yesterdayThere's an ordinary worldSomehow I have to findAnd as I try to make my wayTo the ordinary worldYesterday morning began as many others - what to write about today? I began ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    5 days ago
  • A speed limit is not a target, and yet…

    This is a guest post from longtime supporter Mr Plod, whose previous contributions include a proposal that Hamilton become New Zealand’s capital city, and that we should switch which side of the road we drive on. A recent Newsroom article, “Back to school for the Govt’s new speed limit policy“, ...
    Greater AucklandBy Guest Post
    5 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Pick 'n' Mix for Monday, July 22

    TL;DR: My pick of the top six links elsewhere around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day or so to 7:00 am on Monday, July 22 are:Today’s Must Read: Father and son live in a tent, and have done for four years, in a million ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    5 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Journal of Record for Monday, July 22

    TL;DR: As of 7:00 am on Monday, July 22, the top six announcements, speeches, reports and research around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day are:US President Joe Biden announced via X this morning he would not stand for a second term.Multinational professional services firm ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    5 days ago
  • 2024 SkS Weekly Climate Change & Global Warming News Roundup #29

    A listing of 32 news and opinion articles we found interesting and shared on social media during the past week: Sun, July 14, 2024 thru Sat, July 20, 2024. Story of the week As reflected by preponderance of coverage, our Story of the Week is Project 2025. Until now traveling ...
    6 days ago
  • I'd like to share what I did this weekend

    This weekend, a friend pointed out someone who said they’d like to read my posts, but didn’t want to pay. And my first reaction was sympathy.I’ve already told folks that if they can’t comfortably subscribe, and would like to read, I’d be happy to offer free subscriptions. I don’t want ...
    Mountain TuiBy Mountain Tui
    6 days ago
  • For the children – Why mere sentiment can be a misleading force in our lives, and lead to unex...

    National: The Party of ‘Law and Order’ IntroductionThis weekend, the Government formally kicked off one of their flagship policy programs: a military style boot camp that New Zealand has experimented with over the past 50 years. Cartoon credit: Guy BodyIt’s very popular with the National Party’s Law and Order image, ...
    Mountain TuiBy Mountain Tui
    6 days ago
  • A friend in uncertain times

    Day one of the solo leg of my long journey home begins with my favourite sound: footfalls in an empty street. 5.00 am and it’s already light and already too warm, almost.If I can make the train that leaves Budapest later this hour I could be in Belgrade by nightfall; ...
    More Than A FeildingBy David Slack
    6 days ago
  • The Chaotic World of Male Diet Influencers

    Hi,We’ll get to the horrific world of male diet influencers (AKA Beefy Boys) shortly, but first you will be glad to know that since I sent out the Webworm explaining why the assassination attempt on Donald Trump was not a false flag operation, I’ve heard from a load of people ...
    David FarrierBy David Farrier
    6 days ago
  • It's Starting To Look A Lot Like… Y2K

    Do you remember Y2K, the threat that hung over humanity in the closing days of the twentieth century? Horror scenarios of planes falling from the sky, electronic payments failing and ATMs refusing to dispense cash. As for your VCR following instructions and recording your favourite show - forget about it.All ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    1 week ago
  • Bernard’s Saturday Soliloquy for the week to July 20

    Climate Change Minister Simon Watts being questioned by The Kākā’s Bernard Hickey.TL;DR: My top six things to note around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the week to July 20 were:1. A strategy that fails Zero Carbon Act & Paris targetsThe National-ACT-NZ First Coalition Government finally unveiled ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    1 week ago
  • Pharmac Director, Climate Change Commissioner, Health NZ Directors – The latest to quit this m...

    Summary:As New Zealand loses at least 12 leaders in the public service space of health, climate, and pharmaceuticals, this month alone, directly in response to the Government’s policies and budget choices, what lies ahead may be darker than it appears. Tui examines some of those departures and draws a long ...
    Mountain TuiBy Mountain Tui
    1 week ago
  • Flooding Housing Policy

    The Minister of Housing’s ambition is to reduce markedly the ratio of house prices to household incomes. If his strategy works it would transform the housing market, dramatically changing the prospects of housing as an investment.Leaving aside the Minister’s metaphor of ‘flooding the market’ I do not see how the ...
    PunditBy Brian Easton
    1 week ago
  • A Voyage Among the Vandals: Accepted (Again!)

    As previously noted, my historical fantasy piece, set in the fifth-century Mediterranean, was accepted for a Pirate Horror anthology, only for the anthology to later fall through. But in a good bit of news, it turned out that the story could indeed be re-marketed as sword and sorcery. As of ...
    1 week ago
  • The Kākā's Chorus for Friday, July 19

    An employee of tobacco company Philip Morris International demonstrates a heated tobacco device. Photo: Getty ImagesTL;DR: The top six things I’ve noted around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy on Friday, July 19 are:At a time when the Coalition Government is cutting spending on health, infrastructure, education, housing ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    1 week ago
  • The Kākā’s Pick 'n' Mix for Friday, July 19

    TL;DR: My pick of the top six links elsewhere around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day or so to 8:30 am on Friday, July 19 are:Scoop: NZ First Minister Casey Costello orders 50% cut to excise tax on heated tobacco products. The minister has ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    1 week ago
  • Weekly Roundup 19-July-2024

    Kia ora, it’s time for another Friday roundup, in which we pull together some of the links and stories that caught our eye this week. Feel free to add more in the comments! Our header image this week shows a foggy day in Auckland town, captured by Patrick Reynolds. ...
    Greater AucklandBy Greater Auckland
    1 week ago
  • Weekly Climate Wrap: A market-led plan for failure

    TL;DR : Here’s the top six items climate news for Aotearoa this week, as selected by Bernard Hickey and The Kākā’s climate correspondent Cathrine Dyer. A discussion recorded yesterday is in the video above and the audio of that sent onto the podcast feed.The Government released its draft Emissions Reduction ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    1 week ago
  • Tobacco First

    Save some money, get rich and old, bring it back to Tobacco Road.Bring that dynamite and a crane, blow it up, start all over again.Roll up. Roll up. Or tailor made, if you prefer...Whether you’re selling ciggies, digging for gold, catching dolphins in your nets, or encouraging folks to flutter ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    1 week ago
  • Trump’s Adopted Son.

    Waiting In The Wings: For truly, if Trump is America’s un-assassinated Caesar, then J.D. Vance is America’s Octavian, the Republic’s youthful undertaker – and its first Emperor.DONALD TRUMP’S SELECTION of James D. Vance as his running-mate bodes ill for the American republic. A fervent supporter of Viktor Orban, the “illiberal” prime ...
    1 week ago
  • The Kākā’s Journal of Record for Friday, July 19

    TL;DR: As of 6:00 am on Friday, July 19, the top six announcements, speeches, reports and research around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day are:The PSA announced the Employment Relations Authority (ERA) had ruled in the PSA’s favour in its case against the Ministry ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    1 week ago
  • The Hoon around the week to July 19

    TL;DR: The podcast above of the weekly ‘hoon’ webinar for paying subscribers last night features co-hosts and talking with:The Kākā’s climate correspondent talking about the National-ACT-NZ First Government’s release of its first Emissions Reduction Plan;University of Otago Foreign Relations Professor and special guest Dr Karin von ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    1 week ago
  • Skeptical Science New Research for Week #29 2024

    Open access notables Improving global temperature datasets to better account for non-uniform warming, Calvert, Quarterly Journal of the Royal Meteorological Society: To better account for spatial non-uniform trends in warming, a new GITD [global instrumental temperature dataset] was created that used maximum likelihood estimation (MLE) to combine the land surface ...
    1 week ago

  • Joint statement from the Prime Ministers of Canada, Australia and New Zealand

    Australia, Canada and New Zealand today issued the following statement on the need for an urgent ceasefire in Gaza and the risk of expanded conflict between Hizballah and Israel. The situation in Gaza is catastrophic. The human suffering is unacceptable. It cannot continue.  We remain unequivocal in our condemnation of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    17 hours ago
  • AG reminds institutions of legal obligations

    Attorney-General Judith Collins today reminded all State and faith-based institutions of their legal obligation to preserve records relevant to the safety and wellbeing of those in its care. “The Abuse in Care Inquiry’s report has found cases where records of the most vulnerable people in State and faith‑based institutions were ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    20 hours ago
  • More young people learning about digital safety

    Minister of Internal Affairs Brooke van Velden says the Government’s online safety website for children and young people has reached one million page views.  “It is great to see so many young people and their families accessing the site Keep It Real Online to learn how to stay safe online, and manage ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    20 hours ago
  • Speech to the Conference for General Practice 2024

    Tēnā tātou katoa,  Ngā mihi te rangi, ngā mihi te whenua, ngā mihi ki a koutou, kia ora mai koutou. Thank you for the opportunity to be here and the invitation to speak at this 50th anniversary conference. I acknowledge all those who have gone before us and paved the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    22 hours ago
  • Employers and payroll providers ready for tax changes

    New Zealand’s payroll providers have successfully prepared to ensure 3.5 million individuals will, from Wednesday next week, be able to keep more of what they earn each pay, says Finance Minister Nicola Willis and Revenue Minister Simon Watts.  “The Government's tax policy changes are legally effective from Wednesday. Delivering this tax ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Experimental vineyard futureproofs wine industry

    An experimental vineyard which will help futureproof the wine sector has been opened in Blenheim by Associate Regional Development Minister Mark Patterson. The covered vineyard, based at the New Zealand Wine Centre – Te Pokapū Wāina o Aotearoa, enables controlled environmental conditions. “The research that will be produced at the Experimental ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Funding confirmed for regions affected by North Island Weather Events

    The Coalition Government has confirmed the indicative regional breakdown of North Island Weather Event (NIWE) funding for state highway recovery projects funded through Budget 2024, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. “Regions in the North Island suffered extensive and devastating damage from Cyclone Gabrielle and the 2023 Auckland Anniversary Floods, and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Indonesian Foreign Minister to visit

    Indonesia’s Foreign Minister, Retno Marsudi, will visit New Zealand next week, Foreign Minister Winston Peters has announced.   “Indonesia is important to New Zealand’s security and economic interests and is our closest South East Asian neighbour,” says Mr Peters, who is currently in Laos to engage with South East Asian partners. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Strengthening partnership with Ngāti Maniapoto

    He aha te kai a te rangatira? He kōrero, he kōrero, he kōrero. The government has reaffirmed its commitment to supporting the aspirations of Ngāti Maniapoto, Minister for Māori Development Tama Potaka says. “My thanks to Te Nehenehenui Trust – Ngāti Maniapoto for bringing their important kōrero to a ministerial ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Transport Minister thanks outgoing CAA Chair

    Transport Minister Simeon Brown has thanked outgoing Chair of the Civil Aviation Authority, Janice Fredric, for her service to the board.“I have received Ms Fredric’s resignation from the role of Chair of the Civil Aviation Authority,” Mr Brown says.“On behalf of the Government, I want to thank Ms Fredric for ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Test for Customary Marine Title being restored

    The Government is proposing legislation to overturn a Court of Appeal decision and amend the Marine and Coastal Area Act in order to restore Parliament’s test for Customary Marine Title, Treaty Negotiations Minister Paul Goldsmith says.  “Section 58 required an applicant group to prove they have exclusively used and occupied ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Opposition united in bad faith over ECE sector review

    Regulation Minister David Seymour says that opposition parties have united in bad faith, opposing what they claim are ‘dangerous changes’ to the Early Childhood Education sector, despite no changes even being proposed yet.  “Issues with affordability and availability of early childhood education, and the complexity of its regulation, has led ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Kiwis having their say on first regulatory review

    After receiving more than 740 submissions in the first 20 days, Regulation Minister David Seymour is asking the Ministry for Regulation to extend engagement on the early childhood education regulation review by an extra two weeks.  “The level of interest has been very high, and from the conversations I’ve been ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Government upgrading Lower North Island commuter rail

    The Coalition Government is investing $802.9 million into the Wairarapa and Manawatū rail lines as part of a funding agreement with the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA), KiwiRail, and the Greater Wellington and Horizons Regional Councils to deliver more reliable services for commuters in the lower North Island, Transport Minister Simeon ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Government moves to ensure flood protection for Wairoa

    Local Government Minister Simeon Brown has announced his intention to appoint a Crown Manager to both Hawke’s Bay Regional and Wairoa District Councils to speed up the delivery of flood protection work in Wairoa."Recent severe weather events in Wairoa this year, combined with damage from Cyclone Gabrielle in 2023 have ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • PM speech to Parliament – Royal Commission of Inquiry’s Report into Abuse in Care

    Mr Speaker, this is a day that many New Zealanders who were abused in State care never thought would come. It’s the day that this Parliament accepts, with deep sorrow and regret, the Report of the Royal Commission of Inquiry into Abuse in Care.  At the heart of this report are the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Government acknowledges torture at Lake Alice

    For the first time, the Government is formally acknowledging some children and young people at Lake Alice Psychiatric Hospital experienced torture. The final report of the Royal Commission of Inquiry into Abuse in State and Faith-based Care “Whanaketia – through pain and trauma, from darkness to light,” was tabled in Parliament ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Government acknowledges courageous abuse survivors

    The Government has acknowledged the nearly 2,400 courageous survivors who shared their experiences during the Royal Commission of Inquiry into Historical Abuse in State and Faith-Based Care. The final report from the largest and most complex public inquiry ever held in New Zealand, the Royal Commission Inquiry “Whanaketia – through ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Half a million people use tax calculator

    With a week to go before hard-working New Zealanders see personal income tax relief for the first time in fourteen years, 513,000 people have used the Budget tax calculator to see how much they will benefit, says Finance Minister Nicola Willis.  “Tax relief is long overdue. From next Wednesday, personal income ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Paid Parental Leave improvements pass first reading

    Workplace Relations and Safety Minister Brooke van Velden says a bill that has passed its first reading will improve parental leave settings and give non-biological parents more flexibility as primary carer for their child. The Regulatory Systems Amendment Bill (No3), passed its first reading this morning. “It includes a change ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Rebuilding the economy through better regulation

    Two Bills designed to improve regulation and make it easier to do business have passed their first reading in Parliament, says Economic Development Minister Melissa Lee. The Regulatory Systems (Economic Development) Amendment Bill and Regulatory Systems (Immigration and Workforce) Amendment Bill make key changes to legislation administered by the Ministry ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • ‘Open banking’ and ‘open electricity’ on the way

    New legislation paves the way for greater competition in sectors such as banking and electricity, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly says. “Competitive markets boost productivity, create employment opportunities and lift living standards. To support competition, we need good quality regulation but, unfortunately, a recent OECD report ranked New ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Charity lotteries to be permitted to operate online

    Minister of Internal Affairs Brooke van Velden says lotteries for charitable purposes, such as those run by the Heart Foundation, Coastguard NZ, and local hospices, will soon be allowed to operate online permanently. “Under current laws, these fundraising lotteries are only allowed to operate online until October 2024, after which ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Accelerating Northland Expressway

    The Coalition Government is accelerating work on the new four-lane expressway between Auckland and Whangārei as part of its Roads of National Significance programme, with an accelerated delivery model to deliver this project faster and more efficiently, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. “For too long, the lack of resilient transport connections ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Sir Don to travel to Viet Nam as special envoy

    Sir Don McKinnon will travel to Viet Nam this week as a Special Envoy of the Government, Foreign Minister Winston Peters has announced.    “It is important that the Government give due recognition to the significant contributions that General Secretary Nguyen Phu Trong made to New Zealand-Viet Nam relations,” Mr ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Grant Illingworth KC appointed as transitional Commissioner to Royal Commission

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