Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 10:31 am, January 3rd, 2014 - 110 comments
Categories: brand key, class war, crosby textor, john key, Minister for Overseas Holidays, Minister for Photo-ops, same old national, slippery, spin, us politics - Tags:

Celebrity golf!  Which one will get voted off the island first!?

 

 

Meanwhile the world burns, the poor struggle, workers are exploited and increasingly insecure, and the wealth gap continues to be a blight on our country.  It seems to brighter future is in Hawaii, for the bankster-supporting elites.

110 comments on “Caption contest ”

  1. tricledrown 1

    HawaiiKey marches to Americas tune.

  2. NOT fisiani 2

    John, I trust you will beat David in the election. Good luck.

    [lprent: Already banned – adding another IP. ]

    • fisiani 2.1

      That was not a post by the one and only fisiani

      [lprent: Ah yes… Thank “santi”. ]

  3. tricledrown 3

    I know what you saying we johnny.nsa joke.

  4. tricledrown 4

    Unidenfified person seen with another world leader.

  5. taranaki 5

    President Barack Obama plays golf with an unidentified guest

  6. Will@Welly 6

    karol, I made a very snide remark about Key and Obama earlier in the piece, holidaying in Hawaii together. What a joke.
    Caption: “Unidentified newbie horrifies Obama by displaying too much pasty flesh.”

  7. Pascal's bookie 7

    Two competitors in the annual Upper Class Twit of the Year practice for the Synchronised Walking event.

  8. fender 8

    Synchronised Spies..

  9. Kevin 9

    See, Left and Right can get along together. Worth another 100,000 votes for John….

  10. xtasy 10

    I am NOT the LEAST surprised, as that is exactly what I had expected “Golden Boy Johnny” (aka the ‘Slippery Slimy Schemer’) to get up to during his Hawaiian retreat!

    But I am waiting for some photos of him with some Hollywood greats, with the CEO of Monsanto, of other multinationals (IT, pharmaceuticals and so), and perhaps some great “banksters” also to surface.

    Lest we be surprised, this is what the much MSM cheered “Leader Maximo” is all about! And who has shares and owns Mediaworks, APN, Fairfax and Sky TV? Who now sits on the boards of TVNZ and Radio NZ? Who of them in private media and entertainment will write out fat cheques for the National Party, and who will front talk back and the TV screens leading up to the general election 2014? Let us wait and see, I suspect we can already make some presumptions with at least a moderate validity.

  11. infused 11

    Yes. Because the PM can’t have a holiday.

    • fender 11.1

      Yes(?). Because the PM can’t have a holiday in NZ when he’s required in Hawaii to receive his next set of instructions.

      FIFY

      • infused 11.1.1

        This must be why the left get no traction. Posting bullshit like this.

        • fender 11.1.1.1

          Don’t you dare call our Key bullshit!! Get it right!! He’s a lapdog, FFS!!

          • Will@Welly 11.1.1.1.1

            fender – you are so beautiful, that makes me almost cry.
            as for infused, methinks totally confused, bitter and twisted, like someone’s ill-gotten little sibling, who got forgotten in the Christmas rush, and ended up with just a raspberry at the bottom of their Christmas stocking – sad. Still, J.K. might give them a lollypop to suck on when he gets home, just like the one J.K. got to suck on in Hawaii with President Obama.

    • North 11.2

      Yes (?). Because he’s played many stages has John Boy.

      Prime Mincer

      Prime Mournister

      Prime Mashie

      Prime Monster next ?

    • karol 11.3

      If he’s on holiday, why the front page promo photos?

      • infused 11.3.1

        Are you really that stupid?

        Because like most fluff, people gobble it up. You being one.

        Same crap with the batch.

        All you’ve done, once again, is give Key & National more lime light and show NZ that the tall poppy syndrome is still in full swing.

        I don’t care, it just blows me away you guys still going on about this, fluff, then cry foul when the left can’t gain any traction. Look in the mirror.

        • Pete 11.3.1.1

          Until the left can appreciate their adversary’s strengths, they will always be a step behind. This sort of meaningless spite repels a lot of left of centre voters. For pity sake just focus on the issues and leave the ranting behind. My personal view is that there are a lot of middle ground voters who are waiting to be wooed with credible policies, and many of these don’t like personality politics. Key is probably the most popular PM ever, so the continual snide attacks are playing to his strengths, and continuing to portray the left as bitter.

          • SPC 11.3.1.1.1

            So the relentless personal attacks on Helen Clark turned off voters and made National less electable?

            • Pete 11.3.1.1.1.1

              You missed the main point of my comment. Key is very popular- there is no point playing to his strengths. Because he is so popular the attacks rebound on the messenger. Helen Clark had lost a lot of her mana so personal attacks were more effective. Having said that I found them very distasteful (just in case you were wondering).
              Labour spent too much time and resource focussing their efforts on attacking and discrediting Key. Far better to go after him another way. That is what I am saying.

              • felix

                Bullshit.

                The personal attacks against Helen Clark have been consistent from at least the 1980s onwards, through all phases of her political career, including the height of her popularity.

                They are also far, far more vicious and nasty than anything Key is ever likely to endure.

                • Anne

                  Can confirm that is correct. I was there. It actually began before she won the Mt Albert candidature in 1980 when a covert campaign was waged to prevent her from being selected. However, they didn’t take into account the membership – some 400 of them were present at the meeting – who voted overwhelmingly for Helen.

                  • karol

                    Was that from within Labour? I get the feeling some Labourites (the Tamihere-types for instance), still have not got over their angst at having had a woman PM.

                    • Anne

                      Yes karol. They were part of the right wing faction in Labour and most followed Roger Douglas and Richard Prebble and joined ACT.

              • karol

                All the parties attack the leaders of other parties one way or another (Key on Norman for instance). John Key’s smiley photo ops are the Nats’ main election pitch – therefore should be exposed.

                There’s also a difference from MPs & their staff attacking other MPs/PM and non-party people making a few jokes.

              • Bill

                Agree with the basic point your making Pete. Don’t know about the mana and Helen Clark. I’d suggest that being a woman, she was always in danger of being an easy target for easy vitriol that was very unlikely to back fire.

                That, and I’m over ‘the bagging’ of Key. It’s fcking boring. People aren’t stupid. This swanning around being all rich and blokey blokey is just possibly wearing thin.

                Except, just maybe – drowning man thrown life belt of counter productive slagging?

                • adam

                  Ah come on Bill it’s a wee bit of fun. Like

                  “Obama shows Key how to really f*&k over indigenous culture, playing golf with Hawaiian nuts”

                  “Kiwi’s shocked to discover Prime Minister is really white dough”

                  ” New Zealand Prime Minister told ‘Dam those legs are white, never heard of a spray tan?’ “

  12. Treetop 12

    During a game of golf was the management of Dotcom mentioned?

  13. joe90 13

    Hey there Barry – does ya like mā shirt….

  14. North 14

    “Fuck sake John Boy, stop whining ! Even if the tracking device does malfunction I’ve still got some balls left…….”

    Interesting that at time of writing a slight majority of the respondents to the Stuff Poll about what it all means have gone with – “Nothing – two rich guys playing an elitist sport”.

  15. fender 15

    Golf carts park on the left because they realise these two only slice it to the right..

    • alwyn 15.1

      For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of a round of golf with President Obama I suppose I should point out that he only slices the ball to the LEFT, not the right.
      He plays left-handed golf you see. Not a bad golfer for someone who gets as little practice as he does.

      • fender 15.1.1

        “He plays left-handed golf you see.”

        Scandalous. This must be that gigantic bombshell Donald Trump was going on about..

        • alwyn 15.1.1.1

          I had to check the date on this item, just to make sure that it wasn’t 1 April.
          Trump certainly is more than a little bit nuts isn’t he?
          I wonder if he ever came out with anything? He probably announced, to a fanfare of trumpets, that that evil man Obama had once sworn at his daughter’s puppy for chewing one of his slippers.
          Actually Trump makes Mike Williams seem almost sane. Remember how Mike was going to drop a “neutron bomb” on John Key during the 2008 campaign. That fizzer was just as successful as Trump’s little effort here.
          This one gave me a laugh though.

          • fender 15.1.1.1.1

            Mike does sound “a little bit nuts” when he “agrees with Matthew (Hooton)” every other day, but it’s certainly unfair to say he could make Trump seem sane.
            Others will know exactly what Mike went searching for but I suspect “that fizzer” was just a lack of concrete evidence involving Keys part in the 1987 attack on the NZ dollar , or some other shady banker related goings on. With his dishonest face and ability to tell lies I’m sure there is plenty NZers are yet to learn about Key.

  16. C George 16

    “Scratch me Barack and I’ll keep kissing YA”

  17. Rebel Radius 17

    “As Key holed with a 9 iron on the 11th green, a few kiwi’s pondered a potential false flag event”

  18. C George 18

    ‘President humors his poodle!’

  19. seeker 19

    The odd couple.

  20. fender 20

    Obama: ” I said get me a round with Lydia Ko, not an idiot nobody knows!!!”

  21. Seeker 21

    The odd couple.

    Very odd , and if truth be told unsettling and quease inducing.

  22. obama to key:..

    ‘did you get the latest memo from ‘the boys’ in zurich as well..?

    ..they are getting a bit antsy about all that anti-poverty stuff..

    ..eh..?

    ..we’ll have to crack down on that..nip that in the bud..’

    phillip ure..

  23. obama to key:

    ‘so then i told him:..’you will do what i fucken say..or i will drone you’..

    ..he nearly shat his pants..and then did what i ordered..’

    key:..’heh..!’..

    phillip ure..

  24. paPA Tuanuku 24

    Key keeps well to the right of Obama.

  25. obama to key:..

    ‘so..how did the boys go with the insurrection-suppression exercise in little ol’ noo zeeland?’

    key:..’good..good..it’s all sorted..we’ll be able to get the whole country locked down in about 72 hrs..

    ..should the peasants get restless..’

    obama:.’heh!’..

    ..key:..those urban-insurrection-suppression armoured vehicles helen clark bought are a godsend..

    ..they mean we can get quickly to.. and crush ..any ‘brushfires’..’

    obama:..’heh..!..good..!..good work..!..

    ..i’ll tell the boys in zurich you have done well..’

    ..key:..(shuffling-feet)..’aww!!..thanks barry!’

    phillip ure..

  26. obama to key:

    ‘you into swinging..?..a little bit of holiday ebony and ivory..?..’

    key:..’i’ll check with the missus’..

    phillip ure..

    • karol 26.1

      Not funny, phillip.

      • phillip ure 26.1.1

        really..?..um..!..why not..?

        ..how exactly is that ‘out of bounds’..?

        joke breakdown:..

        ..’swinging’..golf..get it..?

        ..a little riff on a michael jackson/paul mccartney duet..?

        ..and the surprise/humour of the unexpected..

        ..it’s a three-fer..!

        ..and i wd submit..at least as funny as others’ contriibutions on this thread..

        phillip ure..

  27. joe90 27

    Hey Barry, put it there bro, à trois.

  28. obama:..

    “..you’re wearing the black-hat..

    ..and i’m wearing the white one..”

    (key:..’yeah..!..funny that..’..(thinks:..’fuck..!..this guy is boring..!..is that all he’s got..?)..’

    phillip ure..

  29. key to obama:..

    ‘see..i can march in lockstep with you..!’..

    obama:..’yeah..ok..just make sure you keep it up..’

    key:..’oh!..i will barry..i will..!..i promise..!..

    ..and can i please come to the white house again this year..?..

    ..it’s an election year for me..and it’s gonna be close..’

    ..obama:..’ok’…

    ..key:..’thanks barry..!..thanks..!’..

    phillip ure..

  30. fisiani 30

    Yes we can.

  31. C George 31

    ‘The master spends some time with his faithful lapdog’

  32. Brian 32

    Key demonstrates his concern for those living under bridges in his usual fashion.

  33. Rebel Radius 33

    Interesting to note that my caption was censored. I have no idea why? Here’s another shot down the fairway.

    “As Key holed with a 9 iron on the 11th green, a few kiwi’s wondered about a false flag”

    [lprent: First time comments from a new identity are always moderated. That depends when a moderator is around and during holiday periods, the answer to that is “rarely”. You have to get one comment approved by a moderator before your comments are passed without mandatory moderation. We have this little tool called “approve with probation” that helps us on the marginal cases. ]

  34. Steve Wrathall 34

    “I’m spending shitloads more than my predecessor”
    “Yeah, me too”

  35. obama to key:..

    “..you remember we’ve got that big meet with the zurich boys tomorrow..eh..?

    ..you and helen..and me and george w…they have demanded that we all be there..

    ..dunno what that is about..but i guess they’ll let us know then..

    ..and..do you want a un-job too..?.john..?…when they finally throw you out..?

    ..you’ve earned it..”

    phillip ure..

  36. joe90 36

    Now, about that those health care reforms…

  37. obama:..what is the pot-crop on maui like this year..?..”

    key:..’choice..!..’..

    obama:..’heh!..send me some..’

    obama:..’will you legalise in new zealand..?’

    key:..nah..!..the booze-lobby won’t have a bar of it..(geddit..?..geddit.?..’bar’..?..)

    ..obama:..’heh..!..’

    key:..’they are screaming that it would hurt their bottom-line..

    ..and they are big contributors…

    ..and it is an election year..

    .so..nah..!..there’ll be no pot-legalising on my watch..’

    phillip ure..

  38. C George 38

    “What’s taking you so long? Just hit the blasted ball!”

    “David is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot!”

    “Forget it. You just don’t stand a chance in hell of hitting him this year from anywhere, let alone from here!”

  39. Philj 39

    “Key Apes President”

  40. Tracey 40

    “I’ve never felt whiter” b obama

  41. Tracey 41

    President Obama with unidentified caddy st exclusive Hawaiian golf club

  42. David H 42

    Key to Obama. “Where’s the camera’s, where’s the Camera’s, Please,please tell me where the Camera’s, are so I can get my good side in.”

  43. BLiP 43

    Why aren’t you carrying my bag, Obama? In fact, how did you even get on Planet Key?

  44. Grumpy 44

    Who is the black guy with John Key?

  45. Grumpy 45

    I’m sure we left Vladimir around here somewhere, hope he’s not hiding in the bunker again.

  46. Grumpy 46

    Well, John, now we have solved World Peace, what do you know about The Meaning Of Life?

  47. Grumpy 47

    John, do you think you could get me invited to play a round at Millbrook?

  48. Grumpy 48

    John Key enjoys a holiday using his own money!

  49. C George 49

    BO plays with his white slave.

  50. McFlock 50

    [to self] goddammit! I’d really wanted to suck up by dressing exactly like him, but my cap is dark blue!

  51. rhinocrates 51

    Obama: Ah, John, I really need to use the… you know, the bathroom.

    Key: …akshully… ah, well, we don’t have any.

    Obama: What?!

  52. Seti 52

    John, I thought I’d have more in common with the left of your political spectrum but your Mr Cunliffe thought golf was an updated people’s car.

  53. amirite 53

    Obama on spotting Key on the golf course, mutters to himself : Fuck, not him again!

  54. Philj 54

    Xox
    Key:-
    “Racewalking REALLY is cool, Barack! “

  55. C George 55

    “Talk birdie to me, BO”
    “The eagle has landed! The eagle has landed!…Oops! I mean the hawk!’

  56. woodpecker 56

    Ya doesn’t look like I’ll be getting a third term either.

  57. C George 57

    “Hey Johnny, can you make a hole in one?”
    “Sure! How deep do you want it?”

  58. SPC 58

    Barack, my people come from Hawaii Key, and soon I must go to them and continue my reign.

  59. Pete 59

    Obama kept on teeing off first as Key had no honour at all.

  60. irascible 60

    Key hires Obama mimic to play golf … following advice from PR company that polling looks bad for him.

  61. home help 61

    When Johnny comes marching home again blah blah blah
    Ditto
    When Johnny comes marching home again he’ll write more lies with his fountain pen
    Hurrah hurrah home to Dixie land

  62. tricledrown 62

    Alwyn Obama has played 150 rounds of golf since becoming president.
    151 Now

  63. fender 63

    The kind of photo Keys new photographer was supposed to capture.

  64. mac1 64

    “Hmmmmm, how about….

    “Hail to the PM we have chosen for the nation,

    Hail to the PM! We salute him, one and all.

    Hail to the PM, as we pledge cooperation

    In proud fulfillment of a great, noble call.

    Yours is the aim to make this bright country brighter,

    This you will do, that’s our strong, firm belief.
    
Hail to the one we selected as Prime Minister,

    Hail to the PM! Hail to the Chief!”

  65. ruup 65

    Obama to key “I’ve lost my balls”
    Key to Obama “I never had any”

  66. tricledrown 66

    Key saying to Obama can we change the name of our home state back to its original name(Hawaiikey).
    Yes we can.

  67. tricledrown 67

    Obama to Hawaiikey one “we” problem the Can problem ,you expect me to Go Behind the Bushes.
    By the way do you have the Key to the john.

  68. tricledrown 68

    How are the allwhites going this year we johnny not so good.
    The allblacks are doing really well though.

  69. Treetop 69

    Photo courtesy of the GCSB and the FBI.

    How many GCSB and FBI are in the golf carts?

    Key to Dotcom “I said twos company threes a crowd, go and hide in the trees.

  70. grumpy 70

    I won, please send chocky fish to Amy Adam’s electorate office for me to pick up……….

  71. tricledrown 71

    Obamas
    Humming Nilsons me and my shadow.

  72. ecossemaid 72

    Keys: ” Yes Mr President, Anything!”
    Obama: “Yet I haven’t asked you to do anything yet John!”
    Keys: “Of Course Mr President”
    Obama: ” After that unfortunate security incident in South Africa, its been decided by my Security advisors I need my own 24/7 Signer, who has to be able to Sign in complete bollocks”
    Keys: “Oh I am very fluent in absolute bollocks, ask any one back home!”
    Obama: “Yet your allegedly Prime Minister of New Zealand, wont they miss you?”
    Key: ” I am hardly ever there, they wont even notice Mr President”
    Obama: ” Your Hired! Now make yourself useful and clean my balls!

  73. ropata 73

    JK: “Will you please render Kim Dotcom to Guantanomo Mr President?”

    BO: “Hmm, only if you ratify the TPPA, hand over the GCSB, and give away more stuff to Hollywood moguls… and let me win this round of course”

    JK: “Sure thing boss, anything to be re-elected”

  74. tricledrown 74

    SHG
    Your talking of brownoseofKey.
    Abreviated brownosofky.

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    Time for another D&D update. Session XI Gunderlun. So the party is back on dry land. First dealings were with the harbour master, who not only requested his fee, but also noted that if Sir Goatslayer (Goliath Monk) is going to have people lugging around his giant tome ...
    3 days ago
  • Skeptical Science New Research for Week #8 2024
    Open access notables Transition from positive to negative indirect CO2 effects on the vegetation carbon uptake, Chen et al., Nature Communications: Here we investigate how the impacts of eCO2-driven climate change on growing-season gross primary production have changed globally during 1982–2014, using satellite observations and Earth system models, and evaluate their evolution ...
    3 days ago
  • Gravity wins, everybody loses
    This government should come with a whiplash warning. Did you hear the Prime Minister just go off about the Black Hole They Left Us? - how much was it, 20 billion? 200 billion? Or was it 2 gazillion billion? God he just gets so excited doing his we were going ...
    More than a fieldingBy David Slack
    3 days ago
  • Gravity wins, everybody loses
    This government should come with a whiplash warning. Did you hear the Prime Minister just go off about the Black Hole They Left Us? - how much was it, 20 billion? 200 billion? Or was it 2 gazillion billion? God he just gets so excited doing his we were going ...
    More Than A FeildingBy David Slack
    3 days ago
  • Willis tells us before dawn about her travel plans and – early this afternoon – she reports on h...
    Buzz from the Beehive Finance Minister Nicola Willis – and press secretary Nick Venter, too, we may suppose – were up and about before sparrow’s fart. Her bags would have been packed and her passport checked. We report this on the strength of an email from Venter which landed in ...
    Point of OrderBy Bob Edlin
    3 days ago
  • ROB MacCULLOCH: Grant Robertson’s new job sends an awful message to students about meritocracy in ...
      The appointment of Grant Robertson as Vice-Chancellor of Otago University has raised hackles – and questions – among academics.  Robertson’s credentials for the job is one issue.  The appointment process is another.  University of Auckland economics professor Rob MacCulloch has posted these three articles in the past few days ...
    Point of OrderBy poonzteam5443
    3 days ago
  • Govt's Budget 'just like a household,' says Willis
    TL;DR: Flying in the face of comments from a ratings agency and a mountain of demand for a new long-term sovereign bond issued yesterday, Finance Minister Nicola Willis has again characterised the Government’s finances as too fragile to borrow in its own right to solve Aotearoa-NZ’s infrastructure deficits. She also ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    3 days ago
  • How oil sands undermine Canada’s climate goals
    This is a re-post from Yale Climate Connections Now in his ninth year as prime minister, Justin Trudeau has sought to position Canada as a global climate leader, touting one of the world’s highest taxes on carbon pollution, clean fuel regulations, and clean technology tax credits. Yet Canada’s per-person climate pollution remains stubbornly ...
    3 days ago
  • Untold back-stories: the little things media don't tell us but which are nevertheless pertinent
    ..Thanks for reading Frankly Speaking ! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.In an article entitled "School donations continue to yield millions of dollars for wealthier schools" on RNZ's website on 19 February, Data journalist Farah Hancock reported on the fees ("donations") that (some) schools were ...
    Frankly SpeakingBy Frank Macskasy
    3 days ago
  • Untold back-stories: the little things media don't tell us but which are nevertheless pertinent
    ..Thanks for reading Frankly Speaking ! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.In an article entitled "School donations continue to yield millions of dollars for wealthier schools" on RNZ's website on 19 February, Data journalist Farah Hancock reported on the fees ("donations") that (some) schools were ...
    Frankly SpeakingBy Frank Macskasy
    3 days ago
  • Efeso Collins – Gone Too Soon.
    My wife’s breathing was heavy beside me as I woke this morning, still dark. Yesterday, and it’s awful news, came crashing into my head and I lay there quietly crying.Thinking of Efeso’s family and loved ones. Of so many people who knew him and were devastated by the shocking news. ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    3 days ago
  • Efeso Collins spoke in Parliament only yesterday on bill which will regulate social workers (and vot...
    Buzz from the Beehive Prime Minister Christopher Luxon and other party leaders have been paying tribute to Green MP Fa’anānā Efeso Collins, who collapsed and died during a ChildFund charity run in central Auckland this morning, . The event, near Britomart, was to support local communities in the Pacific. Collins, ...
    Point of OrderBy Bob Edlin
    4 days ago
  • This is corrupt
    Earlier in the month, a panel of "independent" experts in Wellington produced recommendations for the future of housing in the city, and they were a bit shit, opposing intensification and protecting the property values of existing homeowners. Its since emerged that they engaged in some pretty motivated reasoning on the ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    4 days ago
  • Efeso Collins
    God, life can be cruel sometimes can’t it?If only everyone was like him. He was so very warm, so very generous, so very considerate, so very decent. Plenty of people have those qualities but I can think of hardly anyone I've met who had them as richly as he did.Let me ...
    More Than A FeildingBy David Slack
    4 days ago
  • CHRIS TROTTER:  Is applying “tough love” to a “fragile” nation the right answer?
      The Question Christopher Luxon Needs To Ask –  And Answer:  How was it possible for a nation of barely three million citizens to create and maintain an infrastructure that functioned, schools and universities that turned out well-educated and enterprising citizens, a health system that kept its people healthy, and a ...
    Point of OrderBy poonzteam5443
    4 days ago
  • DON BRASH: Is an independent foreign policy really feasible?
    Don Brash writes – A week or so ago, Helen Clark and I argued that New Zealand would be nuts to abandon the independent foreign policy which has been a characteristic of New Zealand life for most of the last 40 years, a policy which has seen us ...
    Point of OrderBy poonzteam5443
    4 days ago
  • YVONNE VAN DONGEN: So proud
    Ratepayers might well ask why they are subsidising people who peddle the lie that it is possible to be born in the wrong body and people can change sex. The preponderance of events advertising as ‘queer’ is a gender ideology red flag. Yvonne Van Dongen writes –  It ...
    Point of OrderBy poonzteam5443
    4 days ago
  • S&P slams new Govt's council finance vacuum
    Wellington Water workers attempt to resolve a burst water main. Councils are facing continuing uncertainty over how to pay to repair and expand infrastructure. The Wellington Regional Council was one of those downgraded. File Photo: Lynn Grieveson / The KākāTL;DR: Ratings agency Standard & Poor’s has downgraded the outlooks for ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    4 days ago
  • Grant Robertson Resigns.
    Yesterday the man that I admire most in NZ politics called time.Around the middle of yesterday news began to filter out. People were posting unconfirmed reports that Grant Robertson was taking a new role as Vice-Chancellor at Otago Uni. Within an hour it became clear that he was indeed retiring ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    4 days ago
  • Auckland’s City Rail Link will fail immediately… in the best possible way
    This post was originally published on Linked In by Nicolas Reid. It is republished here with permission. Here’s the thing: the City Rail Link is almost certainly going to be overcapacity from day one, with crowding on the trains at peak times. In the simple terms of popular transport ...
    Greater AucklandBy Greater Auckland
    4 days ago
  • You can’t always get what you want
    Grant Robertson is leaving Parliament for two new careers, having been frustrated and blocked from achieving some of his biggest political ambitions. So, he is returning to Dunedin, and, unusually for a former finance minister, with seemingly no ambitions to enter the business world. Instead, he will become Vice Chancellor ...
    PolitikBy Richard Harman
    5 days ago
  • At a glance – Was Greenland really green in the past?
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    5 days ago
  • Sharp-elbowed and loving it
    It doesn't seem to take a lot to persuade someone who feels they work their guts out that in fact no one is working as hard as me.It doesn't seem to take a lot to persuade someone who knows somebody taking the welfare system for a ride that they’re all ...
    More Than A FeildingBy David Slack
    5 days ago
  • Sharp-elbowed and loving it
    It doesn't seem to take a lot to persuade someone who feels they work their guts out that in fact no one is working as hard as me.It doesn't seem to take a lot to persuade someone who knows somebody taking the welfare system for a ride that they’re all ...
    More than a fieldingBy David Slack
    5 days ago
  • Then why did she do it?
    Earlier in the month, Cancer Minister Casey Costello was caught lying to the media about whether or not she had requested advice on cutting tobacco excise tax to benefit the cancer industry. She repeated her lies in Parliament. But today, she stood up and pretended to apologise for "causing confusion" ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    5 days ago
  • Is Applying “Tough Love” To A “Fragile” Nation The Right Answer?
    The Question Christopher Luxon Needs To Ask –  And Answer: How was it possible for a nation of barely three million citizens to create and maintain an infrastructure that functioned, schools and universities that turned out well-educated and enterprising citizens, a health system that kept its people healthy, and a workforce ...
    5 days ago
  • The limits to realism.
    Realism is a school of thought in the field of international relations (IR). It provides a theoretical framework for analysing the behaviour of States in the world political system. Like other theories (which in the IR literature include idealism, liberalism, … Continue reading ...
    KiwipoliticoBy Pablo
    5 days ago
  • UNSOCIAL MEDIA – Following the Trolls
    From TODAY FM archives — Wilhelmina Shrimpton and Simon Morrow take a deep dive into trolling and cyberbullying. From the high profile to the general public, Kiwis across all walks of life are being targeted, and some are paying the ultimate price. So what drives us to troll, who is ...
    The PaepaeBy Peter Aranyi
    5 days ago
  • Govt prescribes stiff medicine for some beneficiaries while easing access to drugs containing pseudo...
    Buzz from the Beehive One of two new announcements on the government’s official website  – given plenty of publicity by the mainstream media over the past 24 hours – has been pitched as the first steps in a “reset” of the welfare system.  Stiff medicine for beneficiaries, in effect. The ...
    Point of OrderBy Bob Edlin
    5 days ago
  • We’re not as fragile or as lazy as Luxon says
    Luxon says his government is one that is “prepared to make those hard decisions”. File Photo: Lynn Grieveson / The KākāTL;DR: Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has adopted the language of Ruth Richardson before her 1991 ‘Mother of All Budgets’ in arguing for benefit sanctions to bolster the Government finances, which ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    5 days ago
  • Talking over the Silence.
    Please open the doorNothing is different, we've been here beforePacing these hallsTrying to talk over the silenceIf I was to describe what I do, or at least the way it sometimes feels, then talking over the silence wouldn’t be a bad way to do so.Not that there aren’t other voices ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    5 days ago
  • LINDSAY MITCHELL: National needs to go further
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    Point of OrderBy poonzteam5443
    5 days ago
  • Gordon Campbell on National spreading panic about the economy
    It is a political strategy as old as time. Scare the public with tales of disaster and stampede them into supporting your ideological agenda because they believe There Is No Alternative. Yet, if the NZ economy truly is as “fragile” as PM Christopher Luxon says it is… Then how come ...
    5 days ago
  • The promise of passive house design
    This is a re-post from Yale Climate Connections by Sarah Wesseler Imagine a home so efficient that it could be heated with a hair dryer. That’s the promise of a passive house, a design standard that’s becoming increasingly popular in the architecture community for its benefits to occupants and the climate. ...
    5 days ago
  • Deep in the Uncanny Valley of AI
    Hi,Before we get started, some very big fun Webworm news. I am launching a new journalism fund called Big Worm Farm!A really great thing that’s happened with Webworm over the last four years is that it’s grown. That’s great for a few reasons.Firstly — it means the work here gets ...
    David FarrierBy David Farrier
    5 days ago
  • Introducing: Big Worm Farm
    Hi,I’m excited to tell you about Big Worm Farm.Put simply, the main aim of Big Worm Farm is to support investigative journalists from around the world to be able to devote dedicated time to research and report on a specific story, to be published on Webworm.The stories will capture the ...
    David FarrierBy David Farrier
    6 days ago
  • Why Massey is broke
    The Tertiary Education Commission has named the two universities it says are at high risk financially. They are Massey and Victoria. The Commission appeared before Parliament’s Education Select Committee yesterday and offered a revealing and rare insight into the complex world of university economics. Its Briefing to the Incoming Minister ...
    PolitikBy Richard Harman
    6 days ago
  • You keep Luxin' when you oughta be thruthin'
    Christopher Luxon’s campaign to win last year's election continued yesterday with a speech.Channelling possibly Bruce Willis in Die Hard, he was all, I'm not going to dress it up, I'm going to level with you guys: the state of the nation is fragile.The thing he’s maybe missing is that it ...
    More Than A FeildingBy David Slack
    6 days ago
  • The PM spoke of the need for tough choices – and then opted to beat a retreat when gays and Gaza a...
    Buzz from the Beehive The PM’s State of the Nation speech – according to a Newshub headline – was a ‘buffet of buzzwords’ and full of ‘nonsense’. Fair to say, the quoted words were attributed to Opposition politicians, who were unlikely to say the speech was visionary and inspiring: PM ...
    Point of OrderBy Bob Edlin
    6 days ago
  • Keynesian Wisdom.
    When the facts change, I change my mind - what do you do, sir?John Maynard Keynes (1883-1946)This posting is exclusive to Bowalley Road. ...
    6 days ago
  • BRIAN EASTON: Puffing policy
    Public policy towards tobacco consumption remains politically sensitive. Brian Easton writes – In 1983, a young researcher was told by a medium-level Treasury official that Treasury policy was to abandon excise duties on tobacco. The senior Treasury economist that I consulted, famed for his commonsense, snorted ‘we ...
    Point of OrderBy poonzteam5443
    6 days ago
  • Is 2.8% per year population growth too much?
    TL;DR: The Government is reviewing migration settings that produced 2.8% population growth last year and is looking at a longer-term strategy of matching population growth to the ‘absorbtive capacity’ of Aotearoa-NZ’s infrastructure.Our population grew last year at its fastest rate since 1947, when large numbers of troops returning from World ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    6 days ago
  • Tough Choices & Tough Love.
    I've been trying to hurt youI've been holding you tightI've been learning to love youAm I doing it right?How are you still breathingWith my hands all over your heart?How do we start healingIf we can't keep out the dark?Yesterday the Prime Minister delivered his State of the Nation, for no ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    6 days ago
  • Will the 2024 RLTP be yet another debacle?
    A couple of years ago, Auckland Council and Auckland Transport found themselves in court over the 2021 Regional Land Transport Plan (RLTP). A non-profit alliance for transport decarbonisation, All Aboard Aotearoa, argued that among other factors, the RLTP was unlawful because it failed to give effect to the 2021 Government ...
    6 days ago
  • 2024 SkS Weekly Climate Change & Global Warming News Roundup #07
    A listing of 31 news and opinion articles we found interesting and shared on social media during the past week: Sun, Feb 11, 2024 thru Sat, Feb 17, 2024. Story of the week Based on mission alignment, our Story of the Week is certainly Can we be inoculated against climate ...
    7 days ago
  • Immigration Issues.
    Help is comingI heard a whisperWhite caps turningThe breath of summerA distant drummingAnd liar birds callingEscape the anguish of our pastAnd prayOne of the major challenges of the the 21st century will be the mass migration of human beings around our globe.Some seeking economic opportunities, others fleeing repressive regimes, war ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    1 week ago
  • Trust us, we know what we’re doing
    The best trick the National Party ever pulled was to fabricate their reputation as the responsible ones.This would be the National Party that denied us the New Zealand Superannuation Scheme that—Brian Gaynor wrote back in 2007would be worth more than $240 billion today and would have transformed the New Zealand ...
    More Than A FeildingBy David Slack
    1 week ago
  • The Left’s Timidity
    It is not just Karl Marx – even the most enthusiastic supporters of the market economy (not least Adam Smith) will concede that its normal operation inevitably leads to a concentration of wealth in relatively few hands. Some, at least, of these enthusiasts will accept that such a concentration is ...
    Bryan GouldBy Bryan Gould
    1 week ago
  • OLIVER HARTWICH: Absurd – NZ courts can now decide on climate change
    Oliver Hartwich writes – The World Justice Project ranks New Zealand 7th out of 142 countries on its ‘Rule of Law Index’, narrowly ahead of Australia’s 13th place. However, Australia still has hope – if only because of a recent decision by the Supreme Court of New Zealand. The ...
    Point of OrderBy poonzteam5443
    1 week ago
  • Still waiting on that turnaround
    Hello! Here comes the Saturday edition of More Than A Feilding, catching you up on the past week’s editions.Friday: Week in review, quiz style2. Shane Jones’ demeanour in mocking and deriding climate activists can be observed in what other realm of human behaviour?a. Gleeful little boys pulling wings off fliesb. ...
    More Than A FeildingBy David Slack
    1 week ago
  • Can we be inoculated against climate misinformation? Yes – if we prebunk rather than debunk
    This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article written by Christian Turney, University of Technology Sydney and Sander van der Linden, University of Cambridge and first published on February 14, 2024. Adrien Demers/Shutterstock Last year, the world experienced the hottest day ...
    1 week ago
  • Mihi Forbes and the great Atlas conspiracy
    Graham Adams writes — Last week, Mihingarangi Forbes made an extraordinary claim while interviewing David Seymour on Mata Reports, a taxpayer-funded current affairs programme which, she says, looks at events through an “indigenous lens”. She asked him about Act’s links to the Atlas Network, which fosters connections between centre-right ...
    Point of OrderBy gadams1000
    1 week ago
  • Puffing Policy
    Public policy towards tobacco consumption remains politically sensitive. In 1983, a young researcher was told by a medium-level Treasury official that Treasury policy was to abandon excise duties on tobacco. The senior Treasury economist that I consulted, famed for his commonsense, snorted ‘we need the money’. He explained that no-excise-duty ...
    PunditBy Brian Easton
    1 week ago

  • Government backs police to crackdown on gangs
    The coalition Government is restoring law and order by providing police new tools to crack down on criminal gangs, says Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith and Police Minister Mark Mitchell.  “Over the last five years gangs have recruited more than 3000 members, a 51 per cent increase. At the same time, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 hours ago
  • Northland’s new Kāeo Bridge officially open
    Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed the official opening of the new State Highway 10 (SH10) Kāeo Bridge, which will improve safety and traffic flow for people heading to and from the Far North. “This is an important piece of infrastructure for the Northland region that will help members of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Dry weather triggers extra support for farmers and growers across the top of the South Island
    The coalition Government is providing support for farmers and growers as dry conditions worsen across the top of the South Island. “Conditions on the ground across the Marlborough, Tasman, and Nelson districts are now extremely dry and likely to get worse in the coming months,” Agriculture Minister Todd McClay said. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Trade Minister heads to Abu Dhabi for key WTO negotiations
    Trade Minister Todd McClay travels to Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates for the 13th Ministerial Conference of the World Trade Organisation (WTO) today, to take up his role as Vice Chair of the negotiations. The Ministerial Conference is the highest decision-making body within the WTO and meets every ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Appointment round for King’s Counsel announced
    Attorney-General Judith Collins today announced an appointment round for King’s Counsel will take place in 2024. Appointments of King’s Counsel are made by the Governor-General on the recommendation of the Attorney-General and with the concurrence of the Chief Justice. The Governor-General retains the discretion to appoint King’s Counsel in recognition ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Retiring Chief of Navy thanked for his service
    Defence Minister Judith Collins has thanked the Chief of Navy, Rear Admiral David Proctor, for his service as he retires from the Royal New Zealand Navy after 37 years. Rear Admiral Proctor will retire on 16 May to take up an employment opportunity in Australia.  “I would like to thank ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Indonesian Vice President to visit New Zealand
    Indonesia’s Vice President Ma’ruf Amin will visit New Zealand next week, the first here by an Indonesian leader since 2018, Deputy Prime Minister Winston Peters has announced. “New Zealand and Indonesia have a strong partnership,” Mr Peters says.  “The Vice President’s visit is an opportunity to discuss how we can strengthen ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Government boost to fight against caulerpa
    The battle to contain the fast-spreading exotic caulerpa seaweed has today received a $5 million boost to accelerate the development of removal techniques, says Biosecurity Minister Andrew Hoggard.  “The time is now to really lean in and build on the work of Biosecurity New Zealand, mana whenua, communities and local ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Minister attending Australian data, digital meeting
    Minister for Digitising Government Judith Collins is in Sydney to attend the first Data and Digital Ministers’ Meeting of 2024.  “This is a great opportunity to connect with our Australian counterparts and identify how we can work together on digital transformation,” Ms Collins says.   “Both our nations are looking into ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Appointments to Antarctica New Zealand Board
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters has appointed Leon Grice and Heather Simpson to serve on the Antarctica New Zealand board.  “Since taking office, the Coalition Government has become concerned about the direction of the Scott Base Redevelopment Project,” Mr Peters says.  “It is vital that Antarctica New Zealand has the right ...
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    3 days ago
  • Strengthening the Single Economic Market
    Finance Minister Nicola Willis has met with Australian Treasurer Jim Chalmers to discuss the opportunities to lower business costs and increase the ease with which businesses and people can operate across the Tasman.     “I have met with Treasurer Chalmers and shared our new Government’s ambitious economic goals, our plans ...
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    3 days ago
  • Government to address business payment practices
    The Government will repeal the Business Payment Practices Act 2023, Small Business and Manufacturing Minister Andrew Bayly announced today. “There is a major problem with large market players imposing long payment terms and routinely paying invoices late. “However, the Business Payment Practices Act is not an effective solution and would ...
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    3 days ago
  • Greater focus on work will reduce child poverty
    Worsening child poverty rates support the Coalition Government’s focus on reducing the cost of living and getting people into work, Child Poverty Reduction Minister Louise Upston says. Figures released by Stats NZ today show child poverty rates have increased, with the rising cost of living, driven by inflation, making it ...
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    3 days ago
  • NZ announces new support for Ukraine
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters and Defence Minister Judith Collins have marked two years since Russia’s invasion of Ukraine by announcing further support and sanctions, and extending our military assistance. “Russia launched its illegal, full-scale invasion of Ukraine, in blatant violation of international law, including the UN Charter,” Mr Peters says. ...
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    3 days ago
  • Finance Minister to meet Australian Treasurer
    Finance Minister Nicola Willis will travel to Australia today to meet her Australian counterpart, Treasurer Jim Chalmers.    “New Zealand and Australia have an incredibly strong trade and investment relationship. The Closer Economic Relations and Single Economic Market are powerful engines for growth on both sides of the Tasman.     “I will ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • PM shocked and saddened at death of Efeso Collins
    “I am truly shocked and saddened at the news of Efeso Collins’ sudden death,” Prime Minister Christopher Luxon says. “Efeso was a good man, always friendly and kind, and a true champion and advocate for his Samoan and South Auckland communities. “Our thoughts and deepest sympathies go to his family, ...
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    4 days ago
  • Greater support for social workers
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    5 days ago
  • Government delivers greater freedom and choice for sick New Zealanders
    The coalition government is delivering on its commitment to making principled decisions by getting rid of red tape that doesn’t make sense and allowing sick New Zealanders greater freedom and choice to purchase effective cold and flu medicines. A bill amending the Misuse of Drugs Act 1975 is being introduced, and changes to the Medicines ...
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    5 days ago
  • Government begins reset of welfare system
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    6 days ago
  • State of the Nation
    Ka nui te mihi kia koutou. Kia ora, good morning, talofa, malo e lelei, bula vinaka, da jia hao, namaste, sat sri akal, assalamu alaikum. Thank you for coming to my first State of the Nation as Prime Minister. Thank you for coming to a speech where I don’t just ...
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    1 week ago
  • West Coast tourism attractions officially open
    Regional Development Minister Shane Jones will attend the official opening of two highly anticipated tourism projects on the West Coast today – Pike29 Memorial Track, dedicated to the memory of the Pike River miners, and Pounamu Pathway. “The Pike29 Memorial Track is a way to remember and honour the men ...
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    1 week ago
  • Independent ferry service advisory group in place
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    1 week ago
  • Joint statement from the Prime Ministers of Australia, Canada, and New Zealand
    The Prime Ministers of Australia, Canada and New Zealand today issued the following statement on reports of Israel’s planned military operation in Rafah. We are gravely concerned by indications that Israel is planning a ground offensive into Rafah.   A military operation into Rafah would be catastrophic. About 1.5 million Palestinians ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Govt will deliver on expanded breast screening
    The coalition Government has made the first steps in delivering on its promise to  extend free breast screening to women aged 70-74, Health Minister Shane Reti says. “As part of the 100 day plan, the Government has now met with officials and discussed what is needed in order for the ...
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    1 week ago
  • Government announces woolshed roadshows in support of sheep farmers
    The Government celebrates National Lamb Day (15 February 24) and congratulates sheep farmers on the high-quality products they continue to produce. Agriculture Minister McClay hosted bipartisan celebrations of National Lamb Day with industry representatives at Parliament this week to mark the anniversary of the first frozen lamb exports that left ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Speech: Address to the NZ Economics Forum
    It’s great to be back at the New Zealand Economics Forum. I would like to acknowledge everyone here today for your expertise and contribution, especially the Pro Vice-Chancellor, Head of the Waikato Management School, economists, students and experts alike. A year has passed since I was last before you, and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Government tackling high construction costs
    The Government is focused on reducing sky-high construction costs to make it more affordable to build a home, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says.  Stats NZ data shows the cost of building a house has increased by 41 per cent since 2019, making housing even more unaffordable for Kiwi ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Labour’s Three Waters legislation repealed
    The Coalition Government’s legislative plan to address longstanding issues with local water infrastructure and service delivery took an important step today, with the repeal of Labour’s divisive and unpopular Three Waters legislation, Local Government Minister Simeon Brown says. “Repealing this legislation is a necessary first step in implementing our Local ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Cost of living support for beneficiary households
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