Caption Contest

100 comments on “Caption Contest ”

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1. ann johns 1

   8 October 2015 at 2:10 pm

   I don’t need protection for my head, there’s nothing in there that can be harmed.
2. Stephen 2

   8 October 2015 at 2:15 pm

   Ok, so how do I look in beige?
3. shorts 3

   8 October 2015 at 2:15 pm

   Dazed and Confused
4. Tel 4

   8 October 2015 at 2:17 pm

   2017 Election campaign kicks off in Huntly
5. Sabine 5

   8 October 2015 at 2:17 pm

   Do I get a codpiece like Bush the younger did when he proclaimed Mission Accomplished?

   Do I?
6. vto 6

   8 October 2015 at 2:17 pm

   looks like a yank

   sounds like a yank
   • Detrie 6.1

     8 October 2015 at 7:09 pm

     He has shares in bank of america, a place in hawaii….. If it looks like a duck…
7. irascible 7

   8 October 2015 at 2:19 pm

   “Remember: Smile, wave, scuttle and RUN” … Damn Crosby Textor for telling me that channelling Rambo is meant to be good for my macho image.
8. joe90 8

   8 October 2015 at 2:19 pm

   Dude’s a tactiicool operator…..
9. Nigel Gregory 9

   8 October 2015 at 2:28 pm

   Hey Barrack, 150 yards to the green…..7 iron should do mate.
10. Tel 10

    8 October 2015 at 2:29 pm

    Key understood to be considering breast reduction surgery
11. Tel 11

    8 October 2015 at 2:41 pm

    Man bra wearer discovered by booby trap detector
12. Stephen 12

    8 October 2015 at 2:53 pm

    What? You mean ACTUAL mines? Really?!
13. mary_a 13

    8 October 2015 at 2:56 pm

    Bugger, no ponytails amongst this lot!
    • tc 13.1

      8 October 2015 at 4:00 pm

      Hang on I always carry one just in case of emergency, turn around so I can attach it.
14. Rosemary McDonald 14

    8 October 2015 at 2:56 pm

    What? You want me to stick that where?
15. mac1 15

    8 October 2015 at 3:00 pm

    BBQ king models new apron with insulated six pack.
16. maui 16

    8 October 2015 at 3:10 pm

    General McArthur role in new Jackson movie to be readvertised as PM proves too arrogant for the part.
17. Editractor 17

    8 October 2015 at 3:13 pm

    I came here as a distraction from the TPPA but this Iraqi food has done my guts in and my PA thought I said to leave the TP behind.
18. cogito 18

    8 October 2015 at 3:23 pm

    Soldier: “Sorry sir, no cowards or hypocrites allowed”
19. maui 19

    8 October 2015 at 3:26 pm

    Deep in Iraq with magazines and something resembling a cafe number stand in front of him, the Prime Minister tells stories of a different sort of battleground in Parnell involving the dreaded HipHop group, bodyguards and a deranged individual in close quarter combat.
20. Ilicit 20

    8 October 2015 at 3:31 pm

    The blind leading the blind !!
21. marty mars 21

    8 October 2015 at 3:32 pm

    what is your major malfunction numbnuts?
22. McFlock 22

    8 October 2015 at 3:35 pm

    “why is your equipment so dirty and tattered? This is my photo-op, you should have worn new gear like I did.”
23. Atiawa 23

    8 October 2015 at 3:35 pm

    ” You blind boy “?
24. M J Crawford 24

    8 October 2015 at 3:43 pm

    Singing under his breath through clenched teeth; “Macho macho man, I want to be a macho man………………….”
25. Bonito 25

    8 October 2015 at 3:49 pm

    So about the Flag and Pandas …
26. tc 26

    8 October 2015 at 3:58 pm

    Which way to muzzas sheep station ?
27. Tautoko Mangō Mata 27

    8 October 2015 at 4:02 pm

    Key detours to Afghanistan to pick up a flak jacket ready for his return to NZ to face protest against the shitty TPP deal.
28. tracey 28

    8 October 2015 at 4:03 pm

    When I saw the leader of Iraq meeting Key last night I thought this might have gone through the good leader of Iraq’s head

    “What is Obama’s caddy doing in Iraq???”
29. taxicab 29

    8 October 2015 at 4:05 pm

    “G I John” dolls available for christmas . PM models new look for Mattel .
30. tracey 30

    8 October 2015 at 4:05 pm

    Solid Energy should have put up solar panels. This sun is burning mighty hot.
31. Brian 31

    8 October 2015 at 4:10 pm

    “when I said “behind the wire” I did think there would be more than three”
32. Gavin 32

    8 October 2015 at 4:15 pm

    I am invincible!
    • Gavin 32.1

      9 October 2015 at 7:19 am

      From the movie..
    • Smilin 32.2

      11 October 2015 at 9:36 pm

      I am bloke
33. peterh 33

    8 October 2015 at 4:36 pm

    How dare the US say this base is a dog
34. Barfly 34

    8 October 2015 at 4:39 pm

    “you’re sure I’m not going to have to use a hammer?”
35. Jo 35

    8 October 2015 at 4:46 pm

    Ta for the offer mate but acshully my eyesight’s great as long as I just look to the right.
36. One Anonymous Bloke 36

    8 October 2015 at 4:48 pm

    Daesh miss opportunity, resemble incompetent wingnuts again.
37. Bea Brown 37

    8 October 2015 at 4:50 pm

    NZ Prime Minister shows support for our brave servicemen and women, serving under terrible conditions at great risk.
    Like him, I am proud of them and their dedication, whatever the politics.
    Not the time to sneer or take cheap shots.
    Unworthy of you all.
    • One Anonymous Bloke 37.1

      8 October 2015 at 5:57 pm

      Right winger clutches pearls, displays risible ignorance of military humour, let alone civilian.

      Fuck off, dickhead.
      • philp 37.1.1

        8 October 2015 at 9:03 pm

        The hatred is strong in this one. Another suffering from Key Derangement Syndrome.
        • maui 37.1.1.1

          8 October 2015 at 9:23 pm

          Perhaps you would prefer to be over there fighting the infidels that our allies have kindly funded, so we can reinstate the kiwi bbq on 1/4 acre sections in baghdad.
    • Anne 37.2

      8 October 2015 at 6:48 pm

      http://beforeitsnews.com/opinion-conservative/2013/02/scientifically-proven-right-wingers-are-dumb-2-2585834.html
      • One Anonymous Bloke 37.2.1

        8 October 2015 at 6:56 pm

        I used to cite that survey before I learnt the ratio between the psychology papers that find the hypothesis and those that attempt replication of previous results.

        “Psychology” is indistinguishable from confirmation bias.
      • philp 37.2.2

        8 October 2015 at 9:08 pm

        And this one!
    • philp 37.3

      8 October 2015 at 9:06 pm

      Well said Bea. The hatred from the left when it comes to JK has been going on since he became leader of the opposition. Why don’t they just build a bridge……
      • stigie 37.3.1

        8 October 2015 at 9:21 pm

        “Why don’t they just build a bridge”

        Cant and never will, its called envy on everything that John Key stands for.
        Their attitude is not fit for the government benches.
        • ropata 37.3.1.1

          8 October 2015 at 10:05 pm

          as opposed to assaulting a waitress, insulting Tuhoe, lying about Pike River, and engaging in a massive dirty politics campaign so that idiots like you think he’s a “nice guy” ?

          https://offkey.hackpad.com/Honest-John-NgiWfXTpnvD
      • One Anonymous Bloke 37.3.2

        8 October 2015 at 9:23 pm

        Like a bridge, over degradation of human rights, and the rule of law, I will lay me down…

        Yeah nah. I couldn’t care less about your Dear Leader: it’s the lies he represents.
        • philp 37.3.2.1

          8 October 2015 at 9:26 pm

          As I said, the hatred is strong in this one!
          • stigie 37.3.2.1.1

            8 October 2015 at 9:30 pm

            So much hatred, only the left is capable of this !!
            • One Anonymous Bloke 37.3.2.1.1.1

              8 October 2015 at 9:50 pm

              Only the Left and the Law Society and The Lancet.

              Has my charitable donation to your Google-ignorance fund arrived yet Stigie?
      • Smilin 37.3.3

        11 October 2015 at 10:26 pm

        And watch it get washed away in the next climate change flood devastation. Really? yeah thats what happens to promised bridges in election bribes how utterly utter of you Phil, Duke of Edinburgh award is in the post .
38. One Anonymous Bloke 38

    8 October 2015 at 4:56 pm

    “I want to live my fantasies”.

    “Permission to speak freely Sir.”

    “Granted.”

    “Sir, no-one here is going to escort you to enemy territory. You’re on your own.”
    • NZJester 38.1

      8 October 2015 at 6:04 pm

      What are you talking about. They will be more than happy to escort him to enemy territory.
      Not suddenly pulling out and leaving him behind while heading back to the safety of the base as soon as he gets out to look around. Now that is a different story. ;-p
39. b waghorn 39

    8 October 2015 at 5:09 pm

    Commander of thief’s
40. One Anonymous Bloke 40

    8 October 2015 at 5:13 pm

    “Does my trade agreement look big in this?”
41. pickles 41

    8 October 2015 at 5:25 pm

    so why does mine have the ceramic plate pulled out and a copy of the TPPA stuffed inside the vest?
42. Bill 42

    8 October 2015 at 5:28 pm

    I thought photographers scoffed at ‘bird on a stick’ photos, but look, if you’re saying Barack is looking for a Kiwi on a stick to add to his ornithological collection, then, ah sure – I’m fairly comfortable with that. Just give me a moment to get ministerially relaxed….
43. left for deadshark 43

    8 October 2015 at 5:41 pm

    With that aerial you can receive National Radio, is Kim Hill still on morning report. Oh….can i hang with you guys a bit longer
44. Murray Simmonds 44

    8 October 2015 at 5:54 pm

    Yeah, yeah, I know there have been Government cuts to defense spending, but I thought we could’ve supplied you with a more realistic-looking toy gun than that one.
45. NZJester 45

    8 October 2015 at 5:59 pm

    Key finds the safest place in the world to hang out with some kiwi’s after agreeing to the TPP deal.
46. One Anonymous Bloke 46

    8 October 2015 at 7:06 pm

    “Thankyou for defending our allies”
47. Thinker 47

    8 October 2015 at 7:23 pm

    “It ain’t me, it ain’t me,
    I’m no military son, y’all.
    It ain’t me, it ain’t me,
    I’m no fortunate one…”
    (Fortunate Son, Creedence Clearwater Revival)
48. Tautoko Mangō Mata 48

    8 October 2015 at 7:26 pm

    “How effective is the padding on the back of the jacket? Does it stop knives as well as bullets?” said John, thinking of Judith.
49. sweetone 49

    8 October 2015 at 7:47 pm

    Wow wearing this uniform beats tugging ponytails anyday.
50. b waghorn 50

    8 October 2015 at 7:52 pm

    “My mate Paul Henry will be adding this photo to his wank files I bet” says john
51. Thinker 51

    8 October 2015 at 9:09 pm

    9th floor Christmas do. Paintball At Granada Park.
52. Pascals bookie 52

    8 October 2015 at 9:13 pm

    “Why is that guy cheering for Russia?”
53. Rob 53

    8 October 2015 at 9:18 pm

    Do these sunnys make me look the part?
54. cogito 54

    8 October 2015 at 9:38 pm

    Key: “Do I get to drink my piss like Bear Grylls?”
55. Drowsy M. Kram 55

    8 October 2015 at 9:42 pm

    “Suits you Sir!”
56. cogito 56

    8 October 2015 at 9:52 pm

    Key: “Do you think I’m in danger here?”

    Soldier: “No sir. We’ve told the terrorists that Judith Collins is the PM and you’re just an old has-been”.
57. ropata 57

    8 October 2015 at 10:01 pm

    give me a drone to play with
    i wanna i wanna be just like obama
    indiscriminate killing by remote control
58. cogito 58

    8 October 2015 at 10:21 pm

    Key: “What’s with the straw?”

    Soldier: “It’s all we’ve got left now sir, now that you’ve spent $200,000 a piece on new BMWs, sir”.
59. Smilin 59

    8 October 2015 at 11:55 pm

    I better keep it on when I get home, well back to NZ, ITS NOT RREALLY home eh? can I take one of those gunny things as well?
60. reason 60

    9 October 2015 at 12:23 am

    “When do I get to say mission accomplished ?, …. and do my guts look big in this ?”
61. ropata 61

    9 October 2015 at 12:29 am

    A masterful hachet job by someone who has a clue: http://www.kiwipolitico.com/2015/10/another-dog-and-pony-show/

    In any event what is clear is this. With the complicity of major media outlets, Mr. Key has added troop visits to his pandas and flags repertoire of diversions. In saying so I in no way mean to denigrate the work and sacrifice of the NZDF soldiers at Taji or downplay the difficulty of their mission. Nor do I discount the positive impact his visit has on the NZDF personnel deployed, or the diplomatic and symbolic overtones of it. I simply do not think that the visit was about the troops per se. Instead, I think that the trip was a propaganda exercise that was more about burnishing the PM’s image as well as softening up the NZ public for a possible announcement of future changes to the NZDF mission in Iraq (and Syria).

    It is a pity that none of those from the press gallery who were invited to join the PM on his meet-and-greet with the troops thought to wade through the fluff in order to cut to the chase of the matter. On the other hand, perhaps that is precisely why they were chosen.

    Imagine if Jon Stephenson had been on that trip. I am willing to bet that not only would his reporting have been very different, but it would have set the tone for the entire group to be a little more serious in their scrutiny of the event. Then again, pigs will fly before such a thing ever happens.
62. dukeofurl 62

    9 October 2015 at 9:17 am

    The Generalissimo can see you now !
63. Mikesh 63

    9 October 2015 at 9:30 am

    But I thought ISIS was on our side. They are in Syria, aren’t they?
64. Philj 64

    9 October 2015 at 11:42 am

    Really? They use this on people to tell the truth!
65. Tel 65

    9 October 2015 at 12:43 pm

    no one expects a poke in the eye with a blunt stick…. except perhaps an inside trader.
66. Smilin 66

    9 October 2015 at 11:17 pm

    Tell me soldier :Do I look like Macarthur
    Soldier; dead pan : Bite my fuckin lip jez get me out of here you’re making us a target
67. Ecosse_Maidy 67

    10 October 2015 at 6:47 pm

    Oh my deluxe PM selfie stick, nearly forgot that, thank you scum bag funky…
    Now when will I be Photo Bombed?
    Oh don’t worry Sir, you will be Bombed!
    Excellent!
68. Ecosse_Maidy 68

    10 October 2015 at 6:48 pm

    Your shitting me?! This is The New, New, Air New Zealand, Cabin Uniform?
69. Ecosse_Maidy 69

    10 October 2015 at 6:51 pm

    i know it doesn’t look much yet..but when I get them to vote the new flag in…………..you will have something to run up it…
70. Ecosse_Maidy 70

    10 October 2015 at 6:52 pm

    Oh, Judith your joking? I know we are close..yet there is no fecking way I am shuving that up yr or my *****…..Jesus Woman that’s disgusting!
71. Ecosse_Maidy 71

    10 October 2015 at 6:56 pm

    Ok, Bear, your telling me that when you were with Barack…you did Penis Shaking? Ok dokey,,,Lets do it,,and don’t let it be said i don’t do anything for my country!
72. Ecosse_Maidy 72

    10 October 2015 at 6:59 pm

    Nats Fund Raising Fancy Dress Party, got off to a bad start for John……
    No Sir……You have put the padded bra on the outside & upside down!
73. Ecosse_Maidy 73

    10 October 2015 at 7:04 pm

    Ok,,,How comes everyone else gets a semi automatic weapon, lots of grenades and a rocket launcher and your trying to palm me off with a pointy stick?
    Well, Sir, even in your Army,,we never give out arms to minors or the incompetent….
74. Ecosse_Maidy 74

    10 October 2015 at 7:06 pm

    Nat Cabinet on Boys Night Out….OK, which of you Bastards just shot that fucking Panda..Its took me agessssssssss to get that!
75. Ecosse_Maidy 75

    10 October 2015 at 7:08 pm

    The dickhead who gave me this baseball hat is so fired……
    I defo asked for one that said USA.
76. Ecosse_Maidy 76

    10 October 2015 at 7:17 pm

    You see Sir, we are going to bury, the full terms, conditions and selling off South Island in our sell out, I mean TPPA agreement treaty..right here , where I point the stick of destiny PM!

    Oh Excellent Idea… No one will ever know sir……..
77. Ecosse_Maidy 77

    10 October 2015 at 7:22 pm

    Richie? Are you sure that even YOU, can get away with this, on the Pitch?
    Isn’t using arms in a game of rugby called cheating?

    McCaw to PM…..You Liberal ********
78. Ecosse_Maidy 78

    10 October 2015 at 7:24 pm

    I don’ care if you are the General In Charge of Our Forces here…….

    Will you stop using that feather duster on my manhood!
79. Ecosse_Maidy 79

    10 October 2015 at 7:30 pm

    How many Whitaker peanut slabs does the pouch hold?
80. Smilin 80

    11 October 2015 at 9:18 pm

    jOHN gettin ready to conduct the troops in singing Military Madness
    Can I have the batton ?Thanks soldier
81. Smilin 81

    11 October 2015 at 10:16 pm

    “U would like me to conduct the singing of the national anthem and hold up the flag!! ? Jez get some guts Im trying to change all that”

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