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Granny damning of Crazy Craig

Written By: - Date published: 10:54 am, November 24th, 2013 - 88 comments
Categories: conservative party - Tags:

It’s not often that you’ll see a Herald editorial quoted at length here, but when they’re right, they’re right:

Key [is] dead-set on forging a governing coalition with the Christian-Lite Conservative Party and its troublingly dim leader, Colin Craig.

Craig is a man who doesn’t believe in evolution, doesn’t accept anthro-pogenic climate change, and blames New Zealand’s woes on its “promiscuous young women”.

This is a man who wants a seat in Parliament and the accompanying $147,800 salary but refuses to do an MP’s job and make informed, principled decisions. Instead, he would refer every major decision back to voters for them to decide in a referendum.

Smacking? It’s up to the public to decide. Asset sales? Up to the public. Tax or spend? Too hard – leave it to the voters.

It is this man, this limp, anaemic excuse for a leader, whom John Key is grooming as his new coalition partner. Key is desperate to find anyone to take the place of the foundering Act, United Future and Maori parties – but really?

Colin Craig has many things going for him. He is a nice fellow. He has a boyish enthusiasm. A loving family. A lot of money. What he lacks is street smarts. He would be eaten alive in Parliament. Ruthless MPs on either side of the House would chew him up and spit him out, leaving the bloggers and tweeters to bicker over the soggy, half-masticated scraps.

If Colin Craig is the answer to John Key’s problem, then National is in trouble.

Unfortunately, after here the Herald gets it wrong. It concludes that, since Upper Harbour was too marginal to be given to Craig that National won’t try to gift him any seat. I seriously doubt that is the case. The good news, though, is that Auckland’s paper has called Craig unfit for Parliament and, to be consistent, can be expected to fight any stitch up to get him in via East Coast Bays tooth and nail.


88 comments on “Granny damning of Crazy Craig”

  1. Craig Y 1

    Religious social conservative “lite” (???)?!!!? Has anyone else had a look at their 2011 New Zealand general election candidate list and 2013 Auckland Council election candidate checklist and subjected it to background analysis? I have. They’re not “lite,” they’re the old Christian Right. Most of their candidates are fundamentalist Christian in affiliate, although some are conservative Catholics and Mormons. And others are leftovers from the defunct Kiwi Party, vacuumed up by the Cons.

  2. Vagabundo 2

    Which raises the obvious question of “well, who else is there, then?”

  3. Anne 3

    Craig is a man who doesn’t believe in evolution,…

    It never ceases to amaze me how these types can turn a blind eye to all the evidence. Is it possible to be that dense and still function as an independent human being? They went to school. They were taught the stages of evolution. They’ve seen pictures of prehistoric animals and birds. They’ve probably visited a museum or two and seen assembled actual bones. Every few weeks there are reports of the discovery of yet more prehistoric creatures. So what do they do? Shut their eyes, turn the pages quickly, turn off the TV and radio?

    What do they say when their kids ask for a toy dinosaur or a book on them for Xmas. Deny them access? Sad as….

  4. Sacha 4

    Unfortunately the Herald on Sunday and the Herald have different editors so consistency in their coverage of Mr Craig is not guaranteed.

  5. Fisiani 5

    Far be it from me to help you guys but every time you focus on Colin Craig and the Conservatives you raise their profile. That starts to turn them into serious contenders. I struggle to understand this strategy.

    • Pascal's bookie 5.1

      That’s because you’re an idiot.

    • gobsmacked 5.2

      I struggle to understand this strategy

      Another week or two and Colin will be demanding the Finance porfolio.

      He’s made money, so fair enough. Key “won’t rule it out” (3 News, December 2013).

      Understanding yet? Light bulb flickering?

    • Rogue Trooper 5.3

      Nope, Colin Craig is possibly the best gift God could bestow upon the Aotearoa / NZ Left.
      (Read the editorial again).

    • QoT 5.4

      Hear that, people? The Standard’s authors are now sufficiently influential in NZ politics that we will make or break Colin Craig’s career. I wish someone had sent me a memo about our powers, I’d have tried to use them for good.

  6. Draco T Bastard 6

    This is a man who wants a seat in Parliament and the accompanying $147,800 salary but refuses to do an MP’s job and make informed, principled decisions.

    So, when are they going to come out and say the same thing about National/Act/UF?

    Because there’s no way that selling state assets was making “informed, principled decisions”. And there’s a hell of a lot more – selling our laws to WB and SkyCity etc.

  7. red blooded 7

    I doubt whether many Standard readers are going to be flocking to the Cons because they are tempted by the idiocy of crazy Craig.

    Having said that, in general terms there is some truth in Fisiani’s observation. Notice how much facetime Mr C is getting recently? It does definitely help raise his profile and tempt the vaguely discontented moral right. Such a nice smile…

    • Pascal's bookie 7.1

      “It does definitely help raise his profile and tempt the vaguely discontented moral right.”


      i) Where do his votes come from?
      ii) The higher he polls, the more National need him.
      iii) What does middle NZ think about that?

      • Melb 7.1.1

        I would think the votes would come from a mixture of National and NZ First.

        • bad12

          If the 2011 election is any indicator of where Craig gather’s His votes from i would suggest it’s good news for neither National or Labour,

          Craig took 2000 votes of both Labour and National in the Rodney electorate when comparing the votes of both the major parties from the 2008 election,

          Even Craig himself claims to be pillaging the NZFirst base, which either simply points to His status as ‘village idiot’ or He is simply lying, Craig took a mere 200 votes off of NZFirst in Rodney when comparing NZFirst’s 2008 and 2011 election results from that electorate…

        • chris73

          Theres also a few religious types in South Auckland that might vote for him…

          • gobsmacked

            Yes, they all want to abolish “Working for Families”, just like Colin.

            Or cut education spending in half, just like Colin.

            And abolish Waitangi Tribunal, and even powhiri, just like Colin.

          • Tracey

            I think you misunderstand south auckland if you think right wing funamentalist white guy will get votes out that way.

          • North

            Such analysis Piss73. The old wishful thinking self deception trick. S’pose The Twisted Colon’s gonna win Manurewa then is he hahaha ?

            It wasn’t even that long ago when Brown was stuffed because of the fictitiously vaunted moral outrage in the South Auckland Polynesian churches. Well, I enquired of a Samoan mate of 30 years, professional, social conservative, a finger on the pulse of his community in which he is highly respected. His words, duly reported by me on The Standard:

            “No…….I don’t know one person who thinks that……..everyone makes mistakes…….it’s for God to judge !”

            So I pressed him – “What about from the pulpit on Sundays ?” Response – “One of the people supporting him is a pastor !” A reference to the Polynesian Auckland mayoral candidate.

            As one TS commenter insightfully gave in response to my report – “The Right have always claimed to know what South Auckland is thinking…….”, or words to that effect.

            Honestly Piss, you’re such a fuckwit. OK. I’ll give you “a few”. But they were fundies anyway and probably voted for The Nice Man. Meaningless. Here I will punt. The Twisted Colon’s developer wealth (equals greed) and the Kelvinator gnashers are a turn off to people with genuine warmth. Also, “missionaries” have a badddish reputation. Privately expressed.

            Ne’er mind Piss. Keep on Piss-ing into the wind if it sooths.

            • joe90

              Also, “missionaries” have a badddish reputation

              The boot fits.

              Eric Eiler claims the Campus Crusade knew Christians were in the minority there and it would be dangerous for crusaders: “Due to the nature of the mission based, in part on the environment, the participants were to speak in code,” the complaint states. “For example, ‘ice cream socials’ were not events where ice cream was served; rather, they were organized events where Christianity was observed. Likewise, the participants posed as English teacher at various universities.”


              • Rogue Trooper

                Woe, joe, they’re in a Risky Business.
                (reminds me, remember the dry humor in Barney Miller? )

  8. i think colon would make a great presenter on the shopping channel..

    ..that is the home for an over-enthusiasim-schtick such as his..

    ..by crikey..!

    ..other possible career:..flogging that jehovahs witness rag (‘watchtower/house’?..) door to door..

    ..imagine answering a knock from that/him..?


    ..phillip ure..

  9. I always thought he was a bit weird ,however after reading the Herald column I’m convinced the fellow is mad but very dangerous, Unfortunately fisiani is correct the more publicity he gets the more the uncommitted and uncaring voters will think he is worth voting for.One of the biggest mistakes the Left made in the last two elections was to spend so much time attacking Key . Lets start ignoring and thus denying both photo opportunities . However it makes one realize just how desperate the Nat’s are when they smooch up to a weirdie walking disaster like this, would be Tory coalition partner.

    • Te Reo Putake 9.1

      Good call, PP. Mind you, the upside of Craig getting publicity is that it has made Key look desperate and the Conservative Party may also weaken the Tory vote by attracting people who would normally vote National.

      And its always worth remembering that even if Craig made it to parliament with 3 or 4 list MP’s in tow, he would only be replacing the current coalition MP’s that Key appears to have written off. And those numbers don’t stack up for National. Nat+Conservative + 2 or 3 other MPs works, just. If the MP, ACT or UF can’t provide those 2 or 3 votes, then National are going to fall short of a majority, whatever the eventual numbers Labour/Greens/NZF/mana end up with.

      • Rogue Trooper 9.1.1

        Craig’s role I see as a win / win for a Left govt being elected; even in opposition he’ll make every other MP look good by default, kinda like Horan’s or Gilmour’s roles have been.

      • bad12 9.1.2

        Ignoring Craig is pointless, the mainstream media, in print and on air in the week leading up to and including Labour weekend run a series of what can only be seen as ‘advertorial’s’ for Craig which were pointless in the sense that such articles didn’t impart any ‘news’ of substance and simply acted as a profile raising exercise,

        My first thought, if i had not been privy to the ‘rumor mill’ here in Wellington was that Craig might have actually been paying wads of cash to have such profile raising ‘advertorials’ broadcast while keeping the fact confidential,

        However, the rumor mill says that the ‘talking up’ of Craig and the Conservatives was solely at the behest of the National Party HQ who having conducted it’s own internal polling befor the blitzkrieg of publicity surrounding Craig began conducted another series of polls in the Auckland electorates straight after,(note: this is a rumor and should be read as such),

        What to make then of the Herald on Sunday’s editorial,(especially when considered alongside the earlier NZ National Party NZ Herald’s editorial and opinion pieces openly spanking Slippery the Prime Minister over His mean spirited refusal to pay the Court ordered compensation to the Pike River miners which gave a big thumbs up to Labour leader David Cunliffe over the issue),

        In an ideal world i would like to think that what i have come to re-name as the NZ National Party NZ Herald might have re-examined it’s role as the only major daily newspaper in print in our biggest city and resolved to report the political arena in a less biased fashion,(and i am sure that like me you began to snigger at the notion as i have expressed it),

        Back to the rumor mill then, from what i have been told, the attempt to raise the profile of Craig to such an extent that he could ‘win’ an election even in a seat ‘gifted’ by National was an abysmal failure,and National Party HQ are wavering on the issue of what it will ‘cost’ National if they do so,

        The word is that National will not openly support Colon Craig, which will leave Him to spend His millions in an effort to buy and electoral seat and leave National with either ‘Governing alone’ or NZFirst as the 2014 options,

        The last word tho must go to Slippery the Prime Minister who says the Party will taiho over supporting the loose wheel that is Craig, and one must assume that He needs time to become efficient at riding a tricycle in the interim considering that His other two loose wheels in the form of Banks and Dunne have only gained Him skills on a bicycle…

  10. Rogue Trooper 10

    from the editorial – “limp, anemic, excuse for a leader” 😀

    “So he said,’ once there was a boy
    Who woke up with blue hair
    To him it was a joy
    Until he ran out into the warm air
    He thought of how his friends would come to see;
    The people cleared their throats and stared right back at him.

    God Shuffled His Feet…

  11. Jimbob 11

    Yep, he will cannibalise NZ First and a few older Nats plus don’t forget the religious labour voters…. And possibly keep JK in power next time round. However whats the fuss with that? If you believe in true democratic representation then he can happily claim his share of the vote and we have to agree its fair and just.

    • chris73 11.1

      If you believe in true democratic representation

      – and theres the issue 🙂

      • Colonial Viper 11.1.1

        So the National Party is going to stand a solid candidate against Craig in order to give voters a true democratic choice? 🙂

        • bad12

          As i point out above i believe that the National Party are far more cynical than leaving the ‘Colon Craig’ issue to chance either way,

          i adhere to a certain belief that National’s own internal polling has had them at times during this year as polling as low as 40% which would obviously require both Colon Craig with 2+% of the Party Vote and Winston Peters NZFirst for National to gain a third term,

          That combination lasting 3 years as a Government???, hell the more bloody minded of us would nearly consider voting ‘for’ it to watch the later implosion…

          • Colonial Viper

            there is a certain beauty to watching a vehicle smash in slow motion…

          • Jenny Kirk

            Quotes from bad12 today at and above –

            “As i point out above i believe that the National Party are far more cynical than leaving the ‘Colon Craig’ issue to chance either way………..,”

            “The word is that National will not openly support Colon Craig, which will leave Him to spend His millions in an effort to buy and electoral seat and leave National with either ‘Governing alone’ or NZFirst as the 2014 options”………,

            Despite the Herald editorial, and despite anything John Key might say about taiho-ing on whether National will gift Colin Craig a seat, I believe the Nats will do anything to stay in power ….. and if that means “gifting” the East Coast Bays seat to CG, Nat supporters will fall
            over themselves to do what is necessary to achieve that. ECB is a very different seat these days from the time when Social Credit made a run for it. Its full of aspirationals trying to get up the ladder before it falls over.

        • chris73

          Yup just like Labour did with the Greens in the Coromandel and with Jim Anderton 🙂

    • bad12 11.2

      What makes you think that Craig will plunder the NZFirst vote???…

  12. KJT 12

    “Instead, he would refer every major decision back to voters for them to decide in a referendum”.

    Even a stopped clock, or crazy Craig, can get something right.

    Generally, referendum results are hardly likely to suit Craig, however, given that less than 6% have voted in the past for the policies of similar, Fascist, parties.

  13. KJT 13

    In actual fact, I think the talking up of Craig is deliberate National tactics to up the National vote.

    When compared with Craig, National appear almost sane.

  14. KylePIB 14

    Could there be a risk that those who read this Herald editorial, in particular “…he would refer every major decision back to voters for them to decide in a referendum..” could be seen by many as good democracy and enhance his vote?
    Especially the types who feel like he is not a politician and therefore the best kind of politician.
    What do you think? Am I just too scared of this guy and overanalysing?

    • Rogue Trooper 14.1

      would be unlikely The Conservatives would have the leverage in the House to initiate such an approach. National have not demonstrated support for government by referenda

    • One Anonymous Knucklehead 14.2

      What’s Crazy Colin going to do when his referendum demands he support gay marriage?

      Please get in bed with this fool, National. Please.

      • Rogue Trooper 14.2.1

        a marriage made in heaven
        Craig certainly demonstrates an inverse correlation between the pursuit of financial wealth and intelligence.

        • One Anonymous Knucklehead

          I’d be surprised if avarice were one of Colin’s drivers. I think he works hard and got lucky in some way that turned the hard work into wealth.

          • Rogue Trooper

            earthly power or divine mission then?
            Yes, hard work leads in the direction of rewards in a way that sloth is unlikely to.

          • Anne

            Isn’t he a real estate agent by trade? They can get real lucky with just a handful of house sales. It’s been my observation over the years that a lack of intelligence among many of the materially successful is often made up for with animal cunning.

      • peterlepaysan 14.2.2


      • peterlepaysan 14.2.3


  15. risildowgtn 15


  16. lolitas brother 16


    [lprent: Stupid troll resuming after the last ban under a different handle. Now banned permanently. ]

    • felix 16.1

      Yeah rather than recognise the value or otherwise of an opinion, I just look at who published it. Saves a lot of time. 🙄

    • North 16.2

      No, only you. What did you say again ? As you were to your poor abused sister…….fucking useless.

    • Tracey 16.3

      IF I banned the Herald it would not be for not being PC but because it is shallow and more opinionated than investigative and has strayed far from its original purpose of educating and shining a light in dark places.

  17. millsy 17

    We should all be worried about Colin Craig’s party.

    He wants to take away our social and sexual rights and freedoms. If not legally, then economically. His desire to shoe horn New Zealanders into the idealised nuclear family of mum,dad 2 kids, dog and station will lead to unhappiness, misery and abuse (and probably more incidences of unfaithfulness and family violence). His desire for restrictions on abortion will lead to more back alley abortions, and more abandoned babies – while parental notification and consent laws will just lead to more young girls being booted our of their homes, and having the crap beaten out of them (I hear the islanders are good like that, laying into their kids with the old jandal ).

    And of course, education and science. Given that Craig essentially belives that magic was used to create the world, as opposed to scientific processes, he will most probably push to have magic taught in our schools, making our country a laughing stock in the scientific community. And I strongly suggest that the PSA and NZEI/PPTA have a contigency plan to deal with a possible unoffical progrom of homosexuals in teaching/CYFS, etc. They should write to Craig and tell him at any attempt to remove homosexual teachers from our school system and allow boards to foster an unsafe environment for LGBT students and teachers (which will lead to a huge surge in suicides) will result in instant strike action and walk outs.

    And sex, well. We will all be taught that it is dirty and disgusting, and people will not be able to access abortions, contraceptives, etc through the public health system.

    We should all be freaked out by the CP. I dont think we realise how dangerous they are to a progressive society and country such as this country. The hard fought rights we have won over the past 40 years are in danger. The conservatives offer misery, intolerance, bigotry and bullying. If you are gay, divorced, atheist, sexually active and unmarried, young, or in a non traditional family unit, your life will be a misery,

    Colin Craig must he stopped. At all costs.

    Sex for life.

    • Rogue Trooper 17.1

      and let the primary school children be informed about what is for what, where it goes, and at what age so they are not sitting ducks for weasels telling self-serving stories about sexuality.

    • chris73 17.2

      Settle down, if he gets in (and thats still far from certain) he’ll onlu have a handful of MPs and he’ll have as much power as the Maori Party has now

      Meaning he’ll get stuff all policies through and you can bet those he does get through will be watered down

    • Tracey 17.3

      John Banks too believes the genesis account and seems to suggest that evolution is a belief system like creation.

      “Banks agreed that he believed in the story of Adam and Eve and did not accept the scientific fact of evolution…”

      :…Interviewer: So let me get this clear, John Banks, Associate Minister of Education, you disagree with Darwin’s theory of evolution, you believe the Genesis account of how life began?

      Banks: Yes.”


  18. KJT 18

    Maybe Craig is good for the left.

    1. The association is likely to make National less credible as a Government.

    2. We may get BCIR as a price of him supporting National.
    BCIR are unlikely to support most of his policies.
    If Craig ever gets BCIR he will have shot his whole bunch of right wing anti-democratic, anti-human rights and authoritarian thieves, in the foot.

  19. aerobubble 19

    Evolution. Its not that people like C.C don’t agree with evolution, when that’s just a purely scientific stance, its whether they understand the process as it exists outside of beginning of life. Does CC believe in evolution as applied to medicine, or engineering, or bacteria in food, and the public policy implications. Since to say he doesn’t believe in evolution means two different things, as a religious people engaged in politics its targeted at gaining support from religious groups, but as a secularist who said it; that would be deeply concerning as to their ability to govern. CC seems to be wanting to talk like the latter yet everyone sees through him to the former. i.e. two faces.

  20. lolitas brother 20


    [lprent: Troll resuming after last ban. Now banned permanently as being a complete fool. ]

  21. Rogue Trooper 21

    keep All in The Family , voyeur.

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    The Labour Party is pleased that Craig Foss is reconsidering the return of New Zealand soldiers buried in Malaysia, says Labour’s Foreign Affairs spokesperson David Shearer. “For the families of those who lie there, this will a welcome move. The ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Disappointment over UN vote
    Helen Clark showed her characteristic drive and determination in her campaign to be UN Secretary General, and most New Zealanders will be disappointed she hasn't been selected, says the Leader of the Opposition Andrew Little. "Helen Clark has been an ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Māori need answers on Land Court job losses
    Māori landowners, Māori employees and Treaty partners need answers after a Ministry of Justice consultation document has revealed dozens of roles will be disestablished at the Māori Land Court, says Ikaroa-Rāwhiti MP Meka Whaitiri. ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Key’s ‘efficiencies’ = DHBs’ pain
          John Key’s talk of ‘efficiencies’ ignores the fact the Government is chronically underfunding health to the tune of $1.7 billion, says Labour’s Acting Health spokesperson Dr David Clark.       ...
    2 weeks ago
  • More than 1,300 schools to face budget cuts
    The latest Ministry of Education figures reveal thousands of schools will face cuts to funding under National’s new operations grant funding model, says Labour's Education spokesperson Chris Hipkins. ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Speculation fever spreads around country
    House prices in Wellington, Hamilton and Tauranga are going off as a result of uncontrolled property speculation spilling over from the Auckland market, says Labour’s housing spokesperson Phil Twyford.  “Speculators who have been priced out of Auckland are now fanning ...
    2 weeks ago
  • New Zealand lags on aid targets
      The National Government needs to live up to its commitments and allocate 0.7 per cent of Gross National Income on development assistance, says Labour’s spokesperson on Pacific Climate Change Su’a William Sio.  “The second State of the Environment Report ...
    2 weeks ago
  • War on drugs needs more troops
    The Minister of Police must urgently address the number of officers investigating illegal drugs if she is serious about making a dent in the meth trade, says Labour’s Police spokesperson Stuart Nash.  “Answers from written questions from the Minister show ...
    3 weeks ago
  • Doctors strike symptom of health cuts
    The notice of strike action issued by the junior doctors today is the result of years of National’s cuts to the health system, says Labour’s Associate Health spokesperson Dr David Clark. ...
    3 weeks ago
  • Government starves RNZ into selling Auckland asset
    Just weeks after TVNZ opened its refurbished Auckland head office costing more than $60 million, RNZ (Radio New Zealand) has been forced to put its Auckland office on the market to keep itself afloat, says Labour’s Broadcasting spokesperson Clare Curran. ...
    3 weeks ago
  • Government must be more than a bystander on the economy
    Despite what he might think John Key is not a political commentator, but actually a leader in a Government who needs to take responsibility for the conditions that mean a rise in interest rates, says Labour’s Finance Spokesperson Grant Robertson.  “John ...
    3 weeks ago
  • Māori Party all hui no-doey on housing
    The Māori Party should stop tinkering and start fixing tragic Māori housing statistics in the face of a national housing crisis, says Labour’s Māori Development spokesman Kelvin Davis. ...
    3 weeks ago
  • Labour committed to eliminating child poverty
    Labour accepts the challenge from Children’s Commissioner Andrew Becroft to cut child poverty and calls on the Prime Minister to do the same, says Leader of the Opposition Andrew Little. ...
    3 weeks ago