ImperatorFish: Take Your Medicine

Written By: - Date published: 6:54 pm, May 22nd, 2012 - Comments Off on ImperatorFish: Take Your Medicine
Categories: Satire - Tags:

Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.

You’ve probably heard a lot about the National government’s austerity measures, and I know you’re probably worrying whether this belt-tightening is really worth it.

It’s going to cost you more to get your prescription filled, and the quality of the services you receive from the government is declining. If you are having to deal with ACC, for example, you could be forgiven for thinking the corporation is in fact at war with its customers.

And if you have young children, expect to see a reduction in the quality of their education, with an increase in the student to teacher ratio. More fool you for not putting your kids into private schools!

But I’m sure you understand that these austerity measures are for your own good. You need to take your medicine, and if you don’t like the medicine then, well, you have nobody but yourself to blame. You’re the one who spent up large on your overpriced bungalow in the inner city suburbs, and the holiday home in the Coromandel you can no longer afford.

What’s that? You’re still renting because entering the housing market remains an elusive dream? Well it’s still your fault. You should have saved more while things were easier for you. You did, but then got made redundant? Well maybe you should have worked harder.

Or maybe you think it’s someone else’s fault that your savings were wiped out because you put your money into a number of finance companies at the recommendation of your financial adviser. What a fool you are for listening to the advice of someone who claimed to know what they were doing! If you’re not even prepared to spend a few hours a day following the financial markets then why should anyone help you?

Your life is tough, but you’ll just have to suck it up. We’re all making sacrifices, you know. Well that’s not entirely true, because I got a rather large tax cut, which will allow me to buy up some of those nice SOE shares, assuming the overseas investors don’t gobble them up first.

There’s no point in whining about these cuts to government spending, because they’re unavoidable. Why should society have to bail you out anyway? You claim to be ill, but that’s only because you were brought up  in damp and unhealthy houses, so it’s actually your parents’ fault. Go and complain to them. You claim to be poor, and yet you chose to have children. What gives you the right to propagate and give meaning and purpose to your otherwise unendurable life? Have you considered just dying? Wouldn’t that be better for us all? Do you think I like listening to all your woes?

If you won’t just die then it’s time you stopped moaning and pulled yourself together. Anyone can make it in this country. Look at me, I started with nothing, other than a good and comfortable upbringing free from violence or addiction, and a quality education paid for by my parents, and look what I have turned myself into. A valuable and productive member of society who pays very little tax and who pontificates endlessly about the rights and wrongs of others less fortunate than me.

So take your medicine and stop complaining.

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