There are murmurings in ACT today over their new ‘high profile’ candidate, ex-farming guy who’s on the telly sometimes ranting about climate change Don Nicolson. The party’s current policy priorities are lower wages for young people, weakening student unions, and beating up on Maori and there’s concern Nicolson isn’t the right face for the job.
“Ahhh, yes, well there have been a few complaints” admitted Party Leader Don Brash, 70 “Some wonder if someone so young as Don, who appears to be 48 tops, will reach the groups we’re targeting.
Look at Sir Roger. At 73, he’s topped off his career by giving the youth a bit of a bashing. Although, to be fair, at his age its more like being savaged by a toothless Shih Tzu.
We’ve got John Banks running in Epsom too. At 64, he’s in the midpoint of his career. Of course, we’ve got John Boscawen too. We call him Baby Spice because he’s only 54, and because he’s the cutest of us, ha ha.
So, yes, Don is at the young end of things but I think any serious person would acknowledge he represents exactly the same reactionary, elitist old guard as the rest of us.
Frankly, my greater concern is what if we get four MPs and its two Dons and two Johns? It would be be bloody confusing and people would make fun of us. Fortunately, the way polls are going, I think we’re in the clear on that”
Asked whether any of the party’s winnable list places would go to women, Maori, or anyone who isn’t an old rich white guy, Brash looked confused and then quickly ended the conference, muttering that he had to get home and get the corned beef off the stove.