web analytics

John Key: The invisible man

Written By: - Date published: 7:52 am, December 12th, 2013 - 47 comments
Categories: john key, Minister for International Embarrassment, Minister for Photo-ops, Satire - Tags:

Fresh from his comedy career on Letterman, his rolling over puppy imitation for Warner Brothers, and other such high profile appearances. John Key has now taken to reprising the role of “The Man with No Name”.

3 News reported yesterday.

Key_Cameron_mandela_1200

Prime Minister John Key has been labelled an “unidentified guest” at Nelson Mandela’s memorial service in a photograph published by a US media outlet.

The photo of Mr Key and British Prime Minister David Cameron appeared in a gallery on the New York Daily News website among a number of moving pictures from this morning’s ceremony.

It was captioned: “British Prime Minister David Cameron (R) laughs with an unidentified guest as he attends the official ceremony for the late South African president Nelson Mandela.”

Personally I think that the Queen of Thorns put it much more succinctly with this image

The kitten and John Key

He is a bit like that old advertisement for L&P – “World famous in New Zealand”.

47 comments on “John Key: The invisible man ”

    • lprent 1.1

      Nah, just amused the hell out of me when I was reading the feed this morning.

      Let me see. He is the PM of NZ and Minister of Tourism. So some journos in one of our primary tourist sources know him as “Unidentified Guest”. They damn well knew who Helen Clark was.

      • infused 1.1.1

        She had a 24/7 sour face, so it was pretty hard to miss her.

        http://www.frontpagemag.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/clark4.gif

        • Arfamo 1.1.1.1

          True. And Key has one of those faces you struggle to remember & describe when he’s just mugged you.

          • greywarbler 1.1.1.1.1

            arfamo
            😀

            • Arfamo 1.1.1.1.1.1

              Yeah, I dunno officer. He snuck up on me from behind, out of nowhere. He was wearing a pinstrip suit and a blue tie. He said something about a brighter future and then hit me over the head with a pokie machine. I saw a flash, so maybe that was the brighter future. I dunno. Anyway, before I knew what was happening I was on the ground, reeling, and the bugger was going through my wallet muttering about funding tax cuts this way and increasing gst, and selling government asses (or it might’ve been assets, I think he has a speech impediment). Then the bastard kicked my wife’s legs from under her, nicked the kids’ lunches, and disappeared at a fair rate of knots up the national cycleway.

              I saw the bugger again just yesterday in some photo taken at Mandela’s memorial service but whoever took that photo doesn’t know who the hell he is either. Good luck trying to catch him. He’s pretty slippery.

              • blue leopard (Get Lost GCSB Bill)

                😆

                • Arfamo

                  There were two witnesses, but I dunno if they’ll be any use to you. One of them said his name was Shearer but he said he missed the whole thing because he was playing his guitar at the time and umm…ahhh…suddenly remembered he usually played it the other way round.

                  The other was some bloke Cunliffe, but he said he was too busy on his cellphone trying to get hold of Parker and Goff and telling them to shut up for chrissakes than to pay attention to what was actually happening to a voter at the moment. He said he liked the guy’s suit but wasn’t all that impressed with his legwork.

                  • blue leopard (Get Lost GCSB Bill)

                    I daresay there were other people trying to help you too and I’ll bet the ‘unidentified man’ muttered something about money and rent-a-crowds – what a nuisance that people always gather around objecting to his muggings…same people…must be being paid to do that…mutter mutter….

                    • Arfamo

                      Initially I thought the mugger might’ve been drunk. He kept saying “act shilly, act shilly”. I said, I’m not fuckin acting silly you bastard, you’ve hit me over the head with a pokie machine and I’m tryin to figure out wtf you’re up to with my wallet while I’m still seein stars…

                    • blue leopard (Get Lost GCSB Bill)

                      😆 Tania (below) said it best – just sums it up

                  • greywarbler

                    Then they found the guy Cunliffe reeling saying that he had seen a double rainbow and what did it mean? Seems a nice guy but still a bit confused. When he settles down and works out the rainbow thing he’ll probably sharpen up.

              • Tania

                lol I love this Arfamo just sums it up lol

        • greywarbler 1.1.1.2

          infused
          She [Helen Clark} had a 24/7 ‘serious’ face….FIFY
          She took the job seriously, and within the limitations of the neo lib culture she was trying to maneourvre within, and the damaged Labour Party she was emerging from, she did a good job at holding the bridge against the ravaging NACT hordes. They were armed with slings and arrows, and any weapon that their cunning and narrow., power-focussed minds could conceive. What a Rosemary’s Baby that was.

        • yeshe 1.1.1.3

          Infused: What a vile comment you make. This elegant and erudite woman is mourning the loss of a friend. Perhaps you have no empathy for how that might feel.

          • The Gormless Fool formerly known as Oleolebiscuitbarrell 1.1.1.3.1

            You guys have to stop living in the past.

            The Glorious Reign is over.

            • Arfamo 1.1.1.3.1.1

              The Glorious Reign is over? You’re the one living in the past. Everybody knows Clark’s long gone. The country’s now being run by Louis XVI’s jester.

        • Pascal's bookie 1.1.1.4

          Frontpage mag eh?

          And you shall know them by their links.

  1. One Anonymous Knucklehead 2

    😆 @ QoT.

    Interesting body language in the other pic.

    • lprent 2.1

      Almost worth a caption contest…

      “Milly just expressed her opinion on my hand..”
      “Don’t touch the suit..”

      • One Anonymous Knucklehead 2.1.1

        “Don’t touch the suit” – spot on. “They’re getting so good at imitating us. God I hate these things, such a bore”.

  2. geoff 3

    Fuck he’s a try hard. A natural brown-noser.

  3. greywarbler 4

    I wonder if the black man in front is a South African Who Is Not Amused at the white pollies in the background. The constituency they represent are not their whole countries, but the ones whose minds go when Mandela is referred to, ‘Do I Care? I’ve just remembered that I don’t care, but have you heard the one about a black man, a white goat and a vuvuzela?

    • Colonial Viper 4.1

      As an aside, it seems Mugabe was very well received by the crowd. Interesting the different perspective we get delivered over here in the west huh.

  4. Steve 5

    I think the photo of Abbott,Key and Cameron on the TV3 site would be best for a caption contest.They are all having a cuppa,Abbott and Cameron are laughing and Key(in the middle) looks unimpressed.http://www.3news.co.nz/Politics.aspx check out popular.

  5. Puckish Rogue 6

    So David Cunliffe should have no problems becoming more popular then John Key then

    • Arfamo 6.1

      No he might have some problems there. John Key’s only popular with a minority of electors though. Let’s see what next year brings.

    • felix 6.2

      Hey Puck, Cunliffe hasn’t been desperately trying to convince NZ that he’s everyone’s best mate.

  6. Tracey 7

    Seems a trvial thing to devote a thread to. Unless they were laughing “cos the terrorist is finally gone” …. I apologise if I recall incorectly that cameron considered ma
    ndela a terrorist

  7. Will@Welly 8

    So our dear leader is worth………. nothing on the world stage. That appears about right for this egotistical moron. With Parliament breaking for the summer recess, I wont be surprised if he hardly acknowledges the outcome of the referendum, instead talking up how important and influential it was to be at Mandela’s funeral – if only he could remember.

  8. Brian 9

    I wish I could forget him so easily. Ah well – Cameron will be in opposition after the next election and Key will be somewhere else but not here. Silver linings

  9. Tracey 10

    How his popularity cld have jumped if he had said. I was pro tour. I was young and stupid. I realised the greatness of mandela and the cause when I became a man.

    I was 15 in 81. I believed what my parents believed that if half of nz wanted to play then that was democracy. Within a few short years I had changed my view.

  10. Tracey 11

    Caption should have read

    you should see what I have up my sleeve

  11. captain hook 12

    next year he will disappear completely and forever.
    abracadabra begone.

  12. Will@Welly 13

    Caption this: John Key arrives at Parliament on his first day, with “lunch.” Gareth Morgan nods approvingly in the background.

  13. ghostrider888 14

    Invisible? if only he’d disappear .

  14. adam 15

    John Doe!!!

    Thank my cuz for that one 🙂

  15. Craig Y 16

    Sadly, Key later fed Milly the Kitten to Gerry Brownlee.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Government support screen industry with funding for sound stages in West Auckland
    Auckland Film Studios in West Auckland has received funding for a major expansion through the Government’s Infrastructure Reference Group’s (IRG) COVID-19 Response Fund. The Government is investing $30 million of a total $35 million project to construct two 2,000sqm sound stages and development of further workshops and offices, to expand ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    14 hours ago
  • Protecting unique land for generation next
    The Government is boosting legal protection for critically important natural habitats on private land, Minister of Conservation Kiri Allan says. “An $8 million investment over four years will see Queen Elizabeth II National Trust Ngā Kairauhī Papa (QEII) work with government agencies, councils and others to provide legal protection of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    16 hours ago
  • New Zealand’s support for Fiji’s COVID-19 response continues with vaccine delivery, operational ...
    Foreign Minister Nanaia Mahuta has announced further support for Fiji, including funding support for nursing staff and 100,000 doses of vaccines due to arrive in country today. “Our thoughts remain with Fiji during this incredibly challenging period,” Nanaia Mahuta said. “New Zealand has funded 100,000 doses of the AstraZeneca vaccine ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    16 hours ago
  • Poroporoaki: Dr Hōhepa (Joe) Mason
    Ko koe tēnā e te hurumanu e Hōhepa, te tōwenetanga a te iti, te māpihi herenga mahara o te tini, ka tauawhi tonuhia koe e to iwi ki te uma pupuri ai. Me pēhea he kupu kia koutou kua puta i nga ākinga a nga tau kua hori, kua waia ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    20 hours ago
  • Finance Minister and RBNZ Governor agree to update MOU on macro-prudential policy
    Finance Minister Grant Robertson and Reserve Bank Governor Adrian Orr have updated the Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) on macro-prudential policy to further protect the financial system and support the Government’s housing objectives. “This change will ensure that the Reserve Bank has the flexibility to respond to emerging financial stability risks ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    21 hours ago
  • Government commits further assistance for drought and flood-affected rural communities
    Farmers and growers affected by this year’s drought or floods in Marlborough, Tasman, West Coat, Canterbury, Otago and the Chatham Islands will have access to Rural Assistance Payments (RAPs) from today, Social Development and Employment Minister Carmel Sepuloni has announced. “The Government is committed to easing the financial pressures on ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Cook Islands youth lead Language Week
    The Cook Islands Language Week theme for 2021 highlights the vital role language plays in maintaining young people’s links to their Pacific home, said Minister for Pacific Peoples Aupito William Sio.  “The Epetoma o te reo Māori Kūki ‘Āirani – Cook Islands Language Week – theme is ‘Ātuitui’ia au ki ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Government offers formal apology for Dawn Raids
    A formal and unreserved apology for the Dawn Raids The Government will offer education scholarships as part of the apology Manaaki New Zealand Short Term Scholarship Training courses Support Pacific artists and historians to develop a comprehensive written and oral account of the Dawn Raids Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Speech to Dawn Raids Apology
    Tēnā koutou katoa, Kia orana kotou katoatoa, Fakaalofa lahi atu ki mutolu oti, Tālofa nī, Mālō nī koutou, Ni sa bula vinaka, Fakatalofa atu, Noa'ia 'e mauri, Kam na mauri, Malo e lelei, Sioto'ofa, Mālō lava le lagi e mamā ma le soifua maua, Oue tulou, tulou atu, tulouna lava ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Bridging the gap – last piece of Northcote Safe Cycle Route now complete
    The opening of two bridges over Auckland’s Northern Motorway is the last link of a cycling and walking route which provides a safe, active alternative for students and commuters, Transport Minister Michael Wood said today. Michael Wood cut the ribbon for the completion of the Northcote Safe Cycle Route, at ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Progress in establishment of Aged Care Commissioner
    Recruitment for an Aged Care Commissioner will start next month, to ensure greater oversight of New Zealand’s aged care sector. “This sector is responsible for supporting a large and often vulnerable population. While most people are able to access quality care, there have been cases where that care has fallen ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • New record number of homes consented
    In the year ended June 2021, the actual number of new dwellings consented was 44,299, up 18 percent from the June 2020 year. In June 2021, the seasonally adjusted number of new dwellings consented rose 3.8 percent. In June 2021, 4,310 new dwellings were consented, an increase of 3.8 per ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Communities backed to tackle wilding pines
    Twelve community projects across New Zealand will receive a share of $2 million to carry out wilding pine control, Biosecurity Minister Damien O’Connor announced as part of Biosecurity Week. “Wilding pines are a serious problem that threaten many of the unique landscapes that New Zealanders value. Community groups and trusts ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Health Minister Andrew Little responding to the New Zealand Nurses Organisation's rejection of ...
    I was advised last night that the result of the ballot of Tōpūtanga Tapuhi Kaitiaki o Aotearoa New Zealand Nurses Organisation members have rejected the latest proposal to settle their collective agreement. Let me be clear: the proposal was one they put to the Government. The Nurses Organisation rejected their ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Conversion Practices Prohibition Legislation introduced to Parliament
    Legislation has been introduced to Parliament to protect against practices intended to change or suppress someone’s sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression. Introducing the Conversion Practices Prohibition Legislation Bill, Minister of Justice, Kris Faafoi, said the measures proposed were aimed at ending conversion practices which don’t work, are widely ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • New kaupapa Māori mental health and addiction services to support people in central North Island
    New mental health and addiction services rolling out across the central North Island will improve outcomes and equity for Māori, Associate Minister of Health (Māori Health) Peeni Henare says. Today the Minister met with providers of the new kaupapa Māori primary mental health and addiction service, Poutama Ora, which will ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • New school site for booming West Auckland
    The Government will build on a new school site in West Auckland to cope with rapid population growth in the area, Education Minister Chris Hipkins says. The Ministry is working with existing local schools to determine how the 1.5-hectare site at 279 Hobsonville Point Road will be used to support ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Trans-Tasman travel window to close at midnight tomorrow
    A further 500 MIQ rooms released for managed returnees from NSW Further Government actions announced today are balanced to provide more certainty for Kiwis wanting to return from Australia, while continuing to protect New Zealand from COVID-19, acting Minister for COVID-19 Response Ayesha Verrall says. The actions were foreshadowed last ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Govt investing millions in Hawke's Bay and Tairāwhiti schools
    Napier Boys’ and Girls’ High Schools are among those set to benefit from a $16.5 million investment in the Hawke's Bay and Tairāwhiti region, Economic and Regional Development Minister Stuart Nash announced today. The Government has set aside money in Budget 2021 to accelerate five projects in Napier, Hastings, Havelock North ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Game changing Jobs for Nature investment for Northland
    Conservation Minister Kiri Allan has announced Jobs for Nature funding for a portfolio of projects that will create ‘game changing’ gains for nature and communities across Northland/Te Tai Tokerau as part of the Government’s acceleration of the economic recovery from COVID. “This portfolio of 12 projects will see over $20 ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Third COVID-19 vaccine receives provisional approval
    New Zealand’s regulatory authority Medsafe has granted provisional approval of the AstraZeneca COVID-19 vaccine for individuals 18 years of age and older, Acting Minister for COVID-19 Response Dr Ayesha Verrall announced today. New Zealand secured 7.6 million doses (enough for 3.8 million people) of the AstraZeneca COVID-19 vaccine through an ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Bowel-cancer screening programme is saving lives
    More than 1000 New Zealanders have had bowel cancer – New Zealand’s second-most-common cause of death from cancer - detected under the Government’s National Bowel Screening Programme, Health Minister Andrew Little said today. More than 1200 New Zealanders died from bowel cancer in 2017. The screening programme aims to save ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Govt welcomes draft report on the retail grocery sector
    The Commerce Commission’s draft report into the retail grocery sector is being welcomed by Government as a major milestone. “I asked the Commerce Commission to look at whether this sector is as competitive as it could be and today it has released its draft report for consultation,” Commerce and Consumer ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Christchurch’s Youth Hub ‘set to go’ thanks to further Government funding
    Construction of New Zealand’s first, purpose-built centre for youth well-being is ready to get underway thanks to an extra $2.5 million of COVID-19 response funding, Housing Minister and Associate Minister of Finance, Megan Woods announced today.  “The Christchurch Youth Hub is about bringing together all the things young people need ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Next step to protect Milford Sound Piopiotahi
    Expert group lays out plan to better protect iconic UNESCO World Heritage site Milford Sound Piopiotahi and its surrounds Funding confirmed for dedicated unit and Establishment Board to assess the recommendations and provide oversight of the process from here Milford Opportunities Project a test case for transformational change in tourism ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Funding for projects to reduce waste from construction and demolition
    The Government has announced funding for projects in Auckland and the lower North Island to help reduce construction and demolition waste. “Construction is the main source of waste sent to landfill, and much of this could be reduced, reused and recovered,” Environment Minister David Parker said. “The Government is funding ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Speech at the launch of the National Hepatitis C Action Plan
    Tēnā koutou katoa. Thank you Anglesea Pharmacy and Te Manawa Taki for hosting this event. As a doctor, I saw first hand the impact of hepatitis C. I met Moana in 2019; she came to the infectious diseases outpatient clinic at Wellington Hospital having tested positive for hepatitis C. Like ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Plan to eliminate hepatitis C as a major health threat by 2030
    A plan to eliminate hepatitis C in New Zealand, reducing liver cancer and the need for liver transplants, has been released today by Associate Minister of Health Dr Ayesha Verrall. “Around 45,000 New Zealanders have hepatitis C, but only around half know they have it,” said Ayesha Verrall. “Symptoms often ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • School upgrades and new classrooms for West Coast, Tasman and Canterbury
    A funding injection from Budget 2021 to complete four shovel ready projects and new classrooms at six schools and kura will provide a real boost to local communities, Minister Dr Megan Woods announced today. “This Government has committed to providing quality fit for purpose learning environments and 100,000 new student ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Warmer Kiwi Homes smashes annual target
    The Government's highly successful insulation and heating programme, Warmer Kiwi Homes, is celebrating a key milestone with the completion of more than 38,000 insulation and efficient heater installs in the year to the end of June, smashing its target of 25,000 installs for the year. “The Warmer Kiwi Homes scheme ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Exemption granted for Wallabies to enter NZ
    Bledisloe Cup rugby will be played in New Zealand after the Australian rugby team received an economic exemption to enter New Zealand. Travel between Australia and New Zealand was suspended on Friday for at least eight weeks following the worsening of the COVID outbreak across the Tasman. New Zealanders have ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Minister of Foreign Affairs makes three diplomatic appointments
    Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta today announced three New Zealand Head of Mission appointments. They are: Mike Walsh as Ambassador to Iran Michael Upton as Ambassador to Ethiopia and the African Union Kevin Burnett as Ambassador to Indonesia Iran “Aotearoa New Zealand has a long-standing and constructive relationship with Iran, despite a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Enhanced Task Force Green Approved for West Coast and Marlborough
    The Government has activated Enhanced Task Force Green (ETFG) in response to the West Coast and Marlborough floods, Social Development and Employment Minister Carmel Sepuloni announced today. “To assist with the clean-up, up to $500,000 will be made available to support the recovery in Buller and Marlborough which has experienced ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Govt support for upgrade of Eden Park players facilities
    Minister for Sport and Recreation Hon Grant Robertson has announced funding to upgrade the players facilities at Eden Park ahead of upcoming Women’s World Cup events. Eden Park is a confirmed venue for the Rugby World Cup 2021, the ICC Women’s Cricket World Cup 2022, and a proposed venue for matches of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • More jobs and quicker public transport motoring towards West Auckland
    Work to improve public transport for West Aucklanders and support the region’s economic recovery by creating hundreds of jobs has officially kicked off, Transport Minister Michael Wood announced today. Michael Wood and Auckland Mayor Phil Goff this morning marked the start of construction on the Northwestern Bus Improvements project. It ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Government backs critical health research
    Research into some of New Zealanders’ biggest health concerns including cancer, diabetes, and heart disease is getting crucial support in the latest round of health research funding, Health Minister Andrew Little announced today. The funding, awarded through the Health Research Council of New Zealand, covers 31 General Project grants ($36.64 ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New Bay of Islands hospital facilities to bring services closer to home
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Health Minister Andrew Little have joined a ceremony to bless the site and workers for Phase Two of the redevelopment of the Bay of Islands Hospital in Kawakawa today. The new building will house outpatients and primary care facilities, as well as expanded renal care ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Raukokore re-imagined with ‘smart’ relocatable rent to own housing
    Iwi, Crown Partnership Relocatable, fully insulated housing, connected to a new solar plant Provides a pathway to home ownership New housing in the remote eastern Bay of Plenty community of Raukokore shows how iwi and Crown agencies can work together effectively to provide warm, dry, energy efficient homes in a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Cabinet accepts Turkish authorities’ request for the managed return of three NZ citizens
    Cabinet has agreed to the managed return of a New Zealand citizen and her two young children from Turkey, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced today. The three have been in immigration detention in Turkey since crossing the border from Syria earlier this year. Turkey has requested that New Zealand repatriate ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Govt delivers more classrooms so children can focus on learning
    Extra Government investment in classrooms and school building projects will enable students and teachers to focus on education rather than overcrowding as school rolls grow across the country, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Associate Education Minister Kelvin Davis say. The pair visited Ruakākā School in Whangārei today to announce $100 ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago