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National’s next Auckland Central candidate?

Written By: - Date published: 7:58 am, July 17th, 2020 - 38 comments
Categories: election 2020, Judith Collins, national, same old national, Satire - Tags:

So National needs a new candidate for the Auckland Central electorate.

It is an electorate that when you look at its socioeconomic breakdown should be safe National.  But it is an inner city urban liberal seat so there is a tendency to really detest National’s innate conservatism.

Nikki Kaye performed an important role.  She gave National credibility in the area.  With her decision to spend more time with her family, and Amy Adams’ and Paula Bennett’s similar decisions National is looking very pale, male and stale not to mention conservative.  Auckland Central is definitely in play.

So what does Judith do?

I don’t think she has much choice.  With the stampede for the life boats shown by current National MPs and list positions disappearing with every poll I suspect that National will find it difficult  to find candidates who can walk and chew gum at the same time.

There is one Auckland based potential candidate who is completely and utterly loyal to Judith, who is prepared to go to town on Michelle Boag, who has a big social media following, at least among the extreme weird part of social media, and who relishes public attention.

Comrades I present to you National’s potentially best choice as the Auckland Central candidate …

38 comments on “National’s next Auckland Central candidate? ”

  1. dv 2

    Can he walk and chew gum at the same time/

    • froggleblocks 2.1

      After his stroke, can he even walk? https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/110057461/whale-oil-blogger-cameron-slater-partially-disabled-after-stroke

      Kind of think this post by Micky is in poor taste.

      [It appears that Cameron is back to full health and is writing regular blog posts again in his own indomitable style (https://thebfd.co.nz/author/cam-slater/). For instance he recently said about Nicky Hager “[a] bigger hypocrite you couldn’t find. The man is a political weasel”. And you should read what he recently said about retiring MP Sarah Dowie. Bit of a stretch to suggest this post is in bad taste. I suggest you have a look at his blog and compare – MS]

      • Grant Insley 2.1.1

        Kind of think Slater should reap what he has sown.

      • Alan 2.1.2

        Jacinda would be so proud of you for posting this mickey, well done you.

      • Paul Campbell 2.1.3

        Yeah he seems to be back and posting just like he always did, as if nothing had happened, it seems to me as if the whole stroke thing might have just a way to slither out from under all his losing court cases. Did we ever see any real medical evidence as to the state of his health?

      • Morrissey 2.1.4

        Slater's comment about Hager tells us nothing. It's simply abuse. As for his "indomitable style": he's obviously not indomitable, as the illustration for Mickey's post shows, and style: he has none.

        In other words, he's the perfect embodiment of the Nasty Party, of which he was, and possibly still is, one of the strategic and intellectual powerhouses.

        Collins was one of his most ruthless cronies.

      • Incognito 2.1.5

        He’s fit enough to be questioned in Court.


  2. Cinny 3

    Dang !!! Imagine…. lolololz 🙂

  3. ianmac 4

    He could box other candidates with one hand, spread ugly rumours with another hand and use another hand to get David Farrar to doctor the polls in his favour. Yes. Typical National performer.

  4. Andre 5

    Putting the Orc back in Orcland.

  5. Robert Guyton 6

    Knockout candidate!

  6. Peter 7

    I know it's Auckland Central and many live in multi million dollar apartments atop the Stamford and such places but when they cast their votes?

    'Urban liberal' and 'National's innate conservatism' won't cross their minds. That Stamford mob will just go with their pig ignorance.

    National could stand Michelle Boag and they'd flock to her

    • Dennis Frank 7.1

      National could stand Michelle Boag and they'd flock to her

      Could work if they put Mother Hen under her photo on the billboard… 🤗

  7. Sacha 8

    Seriously who do the Nats even have left to shuffle into that electorate and shore up their core vote? Can't be lightweights like Simeon or Bidois.

  8. A more suitable candidate I couldn't imagine – one totally representing all the Natz stand for.

    A 'winning' choice – if only!

  9. Why not Hosking ?

    There would nothing better than to see just how unpopular the tin pot, motor mouthed, little shit he is.

    He has all the answers , well he talks like he has.

    Christ he may even be the PM at the end of September the way National are going through them.

  10. Dennis Frank 11

    I reckon Judith ought to put the hard word on Hosking. No more fast mouth, kid, you need to establish some street cred.

    If it works, you'll likely see his photo on an Ak Central billboard with the slogan walking the right talk… 😎

    • bwaghorn 11.1

      Na mark richardson should put his money where his over active mouth is .

      • Dennis Frank 11.1.1

        I can just see it. "Look, old white rich men are where it's at! I'm good at all that! Plus I play with a straight bat! What more could you want?" 🤭

  11. ianmac 12

    18 Nat MPs retiring.

    How many from Labour retiring? Claire?

  12. Zuszsa 13

    If the Nats had any sense they'd try and persuade Nicola Willis to parachute in.

    So they'll no doubt go for Slater

  13. Incognito 14

    He lost that match because he was in the red corner but he’s learned from his past mistakes.

  14. Treetop 15

    Mickey Savage you are being to kind about the actual reason that Kaye and Adams are standing down.

    I call it self sacking due to knowing that they have over stepped the mark when it comes to being loyal to their leader and their voters. The actions of Boag, Walker, Woodhouse, Kaye and Adams is what made Muller's job untenable.

    Muller has my empathy on what was done to him.

  15. Thebiggestfish7 16

    Pale stale and male micky….just like you. You’d probably fit in right at home in a national government.

    Party vote green. It’s time for real change!

  16. Ken 17

    Is that a 'master stroke', a 'stroke of genius'…..or just a stroke?

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