On Radio NZ this morning Prime Minister John Key gave a mumbling, stumbling response to the admitted assaults on a female Auckland cafe staff member. Questioned by Guyon Espiner, his position was that the assaults were humorous and we live in a global world. Or a tactile world. Or a contextual world, apparently, because context was the word he defaulted to when the questions got tricky.[audio:http://podcast.radionz.co.nz/mnr/mnr-20150504-0711-prime_minister_regrets_misreading_ponytail_saga-048.mp3]
The PM vaguely remembered getting legal advice on the looming assault charges, but couldn’t remember which hat he was wearing at the time. PM or Private Citizen? Dunno, ackshully. He couldn’t even remember if he got advice from Crown Law.
Still, it’s comforting to know he doesn’t think he’s done it to other woman. Children, sure, but other women? Dunno, ackshully. Weirdly, Key also said he did not “want people to feel at ease around me“. But that apparently doesn’t make men any safer. Pressed further about whether his behaviour was sexist, he made the leap to satire. Espiner’s question was subtle but sarcastic. When asked if he would have “done it to a man“, Key replied “I could have, yep.”
Last week, we thought Key was channelling The Office’s David Brent. Turns out he’s actually Gareth Keenan.