- Date published:
9:35 am, April 22nd, 2013 - 65 comments
Categories: john key, making shit up - Tags: lies
New Zealanders put their trust in John Key. As the 2008 election neared, New Zealanders sensed a positive change was in the offing, a change driven by optimism which held out the reassurance that the darkening and ominous clouds heralding financial meltdown gathering around previously rock-solid international banking institutions didn’t have to reach as far as us.
In fact, a multi-millionaire, a man who had made his fortune working with those very institutions had stepped up to offer his talents and to soften any impact such impending fiscal threat imposed. And look – he grew in a solo parent family dependent on a benefit for his family’s very food and rent. He knows struggle street, he’ll look after us, he’s one of us. Consider his own example; that’s how we work things out – be positive, couple our innate Kiwi optimism with a sturdy and aspirational mind-set to embrace a new New Zealand offered by John Key.
Sure, we can make mistakes, heh, just look at all that silly fuss about the Coldplay song on that promotion CD the nice smiling John Key sent to us. He won’t let us down. Yes, its time for a change. And guess what? John Key has promised live on television to never lie and to always do his best.
Now, four-and-a-half years later we know that was his first lie, and it certainly wasn’t going to be his last. And these are only the ones we know about. In fact, as the litany of lies still spills from John Key, it must be asked: is the litany orchestrated?
You decide. Take the “power” back.
01 – I promise to always be honest
02 – We’re not proposing to change the Employment Relations Act in a way that weakens unions
03 – we are not going to sack public servants, the attrition rate will reduce costs
04 – we are not going to cut working for families
05 – I firmly believe in climate change and always have
06 – We seek a 50% reduction in New Zealand’s carbon-equivalent net emissions, as compared to 1990 levels, by 2050. 50 by 50. We will write the target into law.
07 – National Ltd™ will provide a consistent incentive for both biofuel and biodiesel by exempting them from excise tax or road user charges
08 – I didn’t know about The Bretheren election tactics
09 – If they came to us now with that proposal [re trans-Tasman Therapeutic Goods regime], we will sign it
10 – I can’t remember my position on the 1981 Springbok Tour
11 – Tranzrail shares
12 – I did not mislead the House (1)
13 – Lord Ashcroft
14 – National Ltd™ would not have sent troops into Iraq
15 – Standard & Poors credit downgrade
16 – the double-down grade doesn’t really matter and its only about private sector debt
17 – I did not mislead the House (2)
18 – I didn’t say I want wages to drop
19 – the real rate of inflation is 3.3 percent.
20 – the tourism sector has not lost 7,000 jobs
21 – no I have never heard of Whitechapel
22 – I won’t raise GST
23 – people who are on the average wage and have a child are $48 a week better off after the rise in GST
24 – the purchase of farmland, by overseas buyers will be limited to ten farms per purchase
25 – the Pike River Mine was consented to under a Labour Government
26 – no promises were made to get the remains of the miners out of the Pike River mine
27 – I did not provide a view on the safety of the Pike River coalmine
28 – I did not mislead the House (3)
29 – capping, not cutting the public service
30 – raising the minimum wage to $15 per hour will cost 6000 jobs
31 – north of $50 a week
32 – privatisation won’t significantly help the economy
33 – wave goodbye to higher taxes , not your loved ones
34 – I never offered Brash a diplomatic job in London
35 – Tariana Turia is “totally fine” with the Tuhoe Treaty Claim deal
36 – Kiwisaver
37 – National Ltd™ is not going to radically reorganise the structure of the public sector
38 – tax cuts won’t require additional borrowing
39 – New Zealand does not have a debt problem
40 – New Zealand troops in Afghanistan will only be involved in training, not fighting
41 – the wage gap between New Zealand and Australia has closed under my National Ltd™ government
42 – It took 9 years for Labour to make a complete and utter mess of the economy
43 – National Ltd™ has changed the Overseas Investment Act to include 19 different criteria
44 – the price of goods and services has risen by 6 per cent since the last election, while the has actually gone up by 16 per cent
45 – no, although its a week ago and here I am being interviewed on television about them, I havn’t seen Gerry Brownlee’s comments regarding demolitions in Christchurch and which caused such outrage, but I can talk all about them
46 – our SAS soldiers were not involved in the Kabul Hotel gunfight
47 – the use of the Vela brother’s helicopter was required so I could attend meetings relating to national/international security concerns
48 – the DPS makes the decision about accompanying the Prime Minister or not, I had no choice but to take them on holiday to Hawaii
49 – I did not mislead the House (4)
50 – oh, maybe our SAS soldiers were in the Kabul hotel gun fight but they weren’t wounded by friendly fire
51 – New Zealand has lost $12 billion from GDP due to the Christchurch earthquake . . . oh, it might actually be around $15 billion from GDP due to the Christchurch earthquake . . . Blinglish said what?
52 – 10,000 houses will have to be demolished in Christchurch due to the earthquake
53 – 14,000 new apprentices will start training over the next five years, over and above the number previously forecast
54 – Our amendments to the ETS ensure we will continue to do our fair share internationally
55 – we are committed to honouring our Kyoto Protocol obligations
56 – any changes to the ETS will be fiscally neutral
57 – we [NZ] have grown for eight of the last nine quarters”
58 – National Ltd™ will tender out the government banking contract
59 – we will be back in surplus by 2014-15
60 – Nicky Hager’s book “Other People’s Wars” is a work of fiction
61 – unemployment is starting to fall
62 – we have created 60,000 jobs
63 – we have created 45,000 jobs
64 – the 2011 Budget will create in the order of 170,000 jobs
65 – I don’t know if I own a vineyard
66 – no, I did not mislead the House (5)
67 – the Isreali spy killed in the Christchurch quake had “only one” passport
68 – the Police will not need to make savings by losing jobs
69 – GCSB re Kim Dotcom x 3 (that we know about)
70 – I did not mislead the House (6)
71 – I voted to keep the drinking age at 20
72 – New Zealand is 100% Pure
73 – I’ve been prime minister for four years, and it’s really 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year
74 – baseball in New Zealand is attracting more government support
75 – the decision to buy brand new BMWs was made by the Department of Internal Affairs without reference either to their minister or to me
76 – I didn’t have a clue that Ministerial Services, which I am in charge of, was going to buy brand new BMWs
77 – even though two of my ministers knew all about it, I didn’t have a clue that brand new BMWs were being bought.
78 – even though my Chief of Staff met with officials to discuss purchase of the the brand new BMWs, I didn’t have a clue
79 – Labour forced us into buying the brand new BMWs, its their fault
80 – ummm, look, sorry about that BMW thing , it was because I was so upset about the death of a New Zealand soldier and Julia Gillard was visit too
81 – the public demanded that we change the labour laws for The Hobbit
82 – “The Hobbit” created 3000 new jobs
83 – we have delivered 800 extra doctors in the public service
84 – I did not mislead the House (7)
85 – I wasn’t working at Elders when the sham foreign exchange deals took place
86 – I was starting School Certificate exams in 1978
87 – I don’t know who arrived on the CIA jet to visit the spies I am responsible for
88 – reducing barriers to property developers will increase the availability of affordable housing
89 – Labour left the economy in poor shape
90 – forecasts show unemployment will fall
91 – we have closed the wage gap with Australia by $27
92 – Ngati Porou and Whanau Apanui are not opposed to mining
93 – I have not had any meetings with Media Works
94 – our [NZ’s] terms of trade remain high
95 – the TPP is an example of democracy
96 – National Ltd™ will use the proceeds of state asset sales to invest in other public assets, like schools and hospitals
97 – New Zealand troops will be out of Afghanistan by April 2013
98 – overseas investment in New Zealand adds to what New Zealanders can invest on their own
99 – overseas investment in New Zealand creates jobs, boosts incomes, and helps the economy grow
100 – National Ltd™ will build 2000 houses over the next two years
101 – there are only 4 New Zealand SAS soldiers in Bamiyan and all working in the area of logistics and planning only
102 – selling state assets will give cash equity to those companies
103 – the Sky City deal doesn’t mean more pokies
104 – there was nothing improper about the Sky City deal
105 – my office has had no correspondence, no discussions, no involvement with the Sky City deal
106 – SkyCity will only get “a few more” pokie machines at the margins
107 – any changes to gambling regulations will be subject to a full public submission process
108 – Sky City has approached TVNZ about the purchase/use of government-owned land
109 – the Auditor General has fully vindicated National over the Sky City deal
110 – there’s a 50/50 chance the Hobbit is going off shore unless we do something
111 – David Shearer has signed up for the purchase of shares in Mighty River
112 – Solid Energy asked the government for a $1 billion capital investment
113 – fracking has been going safely on in Taranaki for the past 30 years without any issues
114 – no front line positions will be lost at DoC
115 – Iain Rennie came to me and recommended Fletcher for the GCSB job
116 – I forgot that after I scrapped the shortlist for GCSB job I phoned a life-long friend to tell him to apply for the position
117 – I told Iain Rennie I would contact Fletcher
118 – for 30 years, or three decades, I didn’t have any dinners or lunches or breakfasts with Ian Fletche
119 – I did not mislead the House (8)
120 – No, I did not say we would follow the US and Australia into a war against North Korea
121 – I paid for that lunch and I’ve got the credit card bill to prove it
122 – I called directory service to get Ian Fletcher’s number
123 – I did not mislead the house (9)
124 – I am honest and upfront
125 – cyber terrorists have attempted to gain access to information about weapons of mass destruction held on New Zealand computers
126 – the illegal spying on Kim Dotcom was an isolated incident
127 – New Zealand has an arrangement to have asylum seekers processed in Australian detention camps
128 – the law which says the GCSB cannot spy on New Zealanders is not clear
129 – the only way net new jobs can be created is by private investors putting their money into businesses in New Zealand
130 – an increase in the number of people looking for work indicates that confidence is returning to the economy
131 – the 10 percent of taxpayers in New Zealand who are the top earners pay 76 percent of all net personal tax.
132 – I did not mislead the House (10)
133 – the substantial wage growth under Labour was eroded by inflation
134 – National Ltd™’s 2010 tax changes were fiscally neutral
135 I did not mislead the House (11)
136 – the bulk of New Zealanders earn between $45,000 and $75,000 a year
137 – Pike River Coal did not put profits and its production ahead of the safety and lives of those 29 workers.
138 – Radio Live had sought advice from the Electoral Commission about my show just before the election
139 – it is because of National Ltd™’s policies that the price of fresh fruit and vegetables has dropped.
140 – the length-of-the-country cycleway will create 4000 jobs.
141 – police training for next year has not has not been cancelled
142 – National Ltd™ has only cut back-office jobs in the health service
143 – The Crown’s dividend stream from the Meridians, the Mighty Rivers of the world is large and there is no motivation to sell assets
144 – Gross.
Prime Minister John Key noted that he expected about 500 jobs to be provided in construction of the cycleways in total, with up to 4,000 eventually created through tourism benefits the trails would bring. In mid 2011, the newsletter of the New Zealand Cycle Trail reported 511 people employed on trail construction
No doubt there’s a ton more bs in that list, but I’ve got better things to do than fact check lefty propaganda.
Yet yesterday Key was promoting high value tourism via conferences and convention centres. Didn’t say anything about getting all those wealthy Chinese, Indonesians and Latin Ameicans to use the cycleway.
“No doubt there’s a ton more bs in that list.”
144 is a gross, not a ton, BM. Funny how, when presented with over a hundred examples of Prime Ministerial BS, you are more worried about minor nitpicking over one example than you are about the country being led by someone who lies shamelessly and regularly. The problem isn’t an individual lie on the list, it’s that the list exists at all.
Dunnokeyo’s real diffficulty, as shown in the polls over the last few days, is not that he has smarmy, waffly answers to the questions about his integrity that are being put to him, but that he is being questioned at all. People are waking up to his essential shiftiness and many are coming to the conclusion that there is no smoke without fire. And, as we all know, smoke kills, too.
First one I looked at, must have just got lucky.
This dishonest line you guys are spinning really runs opposite to what I hear
When the topic of politics comes up in a conversation and John Key is mentioned, the first thing people say is that he’s up front, explains things well and you know where you stand with him, then it’s always followed by:
“Unlike that shifty David Shearer who forgets that he has millions stashed off shore in secret bank accounts, yeah right, who does he think we are.”
Pull the other one BM, it shits bitcoins.
““Unlike that shifty David Shearer who forgets that he has millions stashed off shore in secret bank accounts, yeah right, who does he think we are.”
lolz BM. No-one knows who Shearer is.
Besides, it wasn’t millions. I read somewhere that it was well over half a billion dollars.
Heh, the NZ Herald is now “lefty propaganda”.
Whatevs BM. If it’s bullshit then show us the 4000 jobs.
“I’ve got better things to do than fact check lefty propaganda.”
Really? Guess we won’t be seeing much of you then. Take care.
BM – that was in March 2009.
By December 2010, the status of the cycleway was, according to the NZ Herald,
“The national cycleway has so far generated just 215 jobs – well short of Prime Minister John Key’s expectation of 4000.
In May, Mr Key said he expected the $50 million project, which involves building 18 cycleways throughout the country, to generate 4000 jobs.”
Key’s true nature has been magnified and put up in lights by his very own act in stepping up to the most public spot in the country. Did he not realise that this would happen? Did he not think that his bullshitting ways would become apparent? Silly egg. failure at the pinnacle.
Quite a list. 49 is an example of “didn’t mislead the house” that isn’t numbered in that sequence, shall I update?
By all means, thanks.
And on the BMWs,
” Prime Minister John Key signed four documents that referred to a deal to buy a fleet of luxury cars – and at least three other ministers were briefed, documents reveal.
Mr Key – who is responsible for Ministerial Services – says he was in the dark about the deal until a conversation with his driver two weeks ago.”
I wonder what else I can find in my files… 😀
“There’s no way one in five New Zealanders will lose their jobs,” Key said.
Key promised 900/1,000 construction jobs and work for 800 in the Skycity Costruction centre.
The number was actually 750 on construction over a 5 year period, and 318/479 employed within the Centre thereafter.
Remember too he was counting one job for five years as five jobs as well.
This government uses such shonky maths.
It’s like jobs created used to be a net figure – the difference between jobs gained and lost and beneficiary numbers used to be net as well but is now the number who left benefit to go to work without counting those that came back.
They can’t even be honest with themselves so I don’t know how anyone can expect them to be honest with the public.
Geez frank now wonder bankers trust Merrill lynch went bust the lies they told investors and clients fit right up their with key mod-us operandi !
That lie on television was not his first lie, not by a long shot. It was just another in a long line of lies by Key. Have a read of The Hollow Men to see just corrupt he is. And while you’re there, check out how much money Maurice Williamson, the new champion of gay lib, took from the Brethren, who hate homosexuals.
Morrisey – I wondfer if the Brethren will be giving Maurice any more $$$? 😉
That’s very powerful put like that. It’s great, also, that readers of The Standard have been given the opportunity to see things see things for what they are.
The next step is to convince David Shearer that he needs to start conveying these sorts of messages to the public so that everyone gets to see the truth about what Key and his mates are doing. Will Shearer do this? I doubt it, and that’s why he’s hopeless.
Number 140…..the Cycleway. My personal grudge.
One of my personal favourites is when one of the TV stations stuck a camera in his face around the 2008 election and asked him why he wanted to be PM. He replied “to help people”.
Even he didn’t sound convinced.
Not necessarily a lie. “It’s jush a matta of which peepul you’re referring to, like the onesh whoshe phone numbers I know.”
The man is a creep and always has been. This is an impressive compilation; how about publicising it more widely than this?
Wouldn’t be that hard to put it up on wordpress, have a static page for the list that can be updated over time. That page’s URL and intro etc (or whole list) and the updates could be circulated via email, FB, twitter etc. Then do blogposts for the new lies as they come to pass. Plus people can make suggestions in the comments.
Holy Moley that is one epic list! Good work on the compilation. Hope you had a cup of tea and a lie down afterwards.It would have been exhausting recording such a multitude of lies.
Such a glorious list deserves to be a press release in its own right.
Could hire a Tui billboard and one a week? eg:
[John says, “We will not cut Working for Families.” Yeah Right!]
That is 1.4 lies per week!!!!!
Far more than that when you consider how many weeks he’s had off.
Let’s not forget he compared himself to Barack Obama. That’s either a lie or a delusion.
quote from Arthur Vile journalist and politician, written in 1950 and still relevant today.
What is wanted is a goverment that will legislate for the whole of the people, and will provide, as nearly as possible, equal opportunities for all. Instead of politicians who are actuated solely by expediency and a desire to retain office at any price; instead of having an executive that panders to class and extends patronage and largesse to its friends, we must have statesmen whose one and only aim is to promte the welfare of the country and bring happiness and contentment to the whole of its people
Blip’s list of Slippery’s grand litany makes a excellent read, it’s a shame that it has taken all of 4 and a half years for the New Zealand voters to catch up with the little Shysters game of spin, a gamble by the gambler in charge pitting His ability to talk ‘utter shit’ against his own popularity,
To think that i got banned from Sam Morgan’s old site for repeatedly putting up a thread titled ‘is John Key a Liar’ and refusing to desist,
The only surprise would be that Slippery has held so many in thrall for so long covering up one piece of ‘modified truth’ with an even bigger one and then resorting to snivelling that He wouldn’t be answering any media questions immediately as even the likes of the commercial press tired of His daily diet of treating the voting public with disdain….
Let’s face it. The only time key is not lying is when he’s got his mouth shut.
And even then you can bet the next batch of lies are buzzing through his brain like pregnant blowflies.
Those lying eyes.
hard man to pin down
You are a credit to The Standard BLiP; a sign of the times that this man leads “Godzone”; more like Erewhon.
Having been exposed for the inveterate liar that he is, John Key has decided to
start telling the truthreorganise his public relations team.
now that’s ‘avin’ a larf, takin’ the p*ss, and p*ssin’ in the wind simultaneously; an Accumulator next? we wonder.
Ms Kelly McAra, controversial (well almost) ex-journalist at the Waikato Times, dismissed as a hack by a scientist who was anti-genetic engineering in 2000.
Edit: ODT on the PM’s comms reshuffle, including the Waikato Times part of McAra’s CV.
And when working for the Racing Board, Ms McAra, did the “I couldn’t possibly comment” in response to a woman gambling addict before the courts .
More on National Ltd™’s Ministry of Truth from John Armstrong.
‘Nullius in verba’
You forgot my favourite: “I never said David Beckham was as thick as bat shit.”
Evidently the PM’s office said that if Beckham had heard what the PM really said he, Beckham, would have been flattered. When asked what exactly the PM had said the office replied that the matter was closed.
Would it be possible to keep this post at the the front of The Standard’s page views as a “current blog”, and when TS is notified of further lies, they can be added by the Editors, rather than let it slip off the screens? A little “Update” note could be included at the foot of the the main post. I am sure that all visitors to this site would like to see this particular post kept up to date rather than lost in time.
145 – In my statement to Australia’s National Crime Authority/Serious Fraud Office in May 1991, who asked how I could recall the 31 August 1988 lunch alluded to in Lie 121, I told them I could recall the lunch because it was my farewell do with a colleague – I was to start working for Bankers Trust in Auckland the next day. I told media that I got a call from infamous Bankers Trust currency raider Andrew Krieger not long after I started working for the firm, and my ex boss, BT CEO Gavin Walker says Krieger’s trades with me soon made our Auckland dealing room the most lucrative fx co in the country (go me!) – it’s mere semantics that Krieger had resigned from the company some six months prior! And if any of you knuckleheads err journos ask me how that could happen I’m going to blame the controversial practice of using courier pigeons for forex dealing in the 80s. And don’t even bother wondering why my ‘1988’ resignation date 24 June is exactly 1 year to the day that my then employer’s parent co Elders IXL announced in 1987 their plans to restructure.
Blue – Donkey didn’t lie that he wanted to “help people” as pm – he just forgot to say “help rich people”
Someone spent a long time collating these articles and vids….
Reeks of “content marketing”
Labour, Greens? come on own up “Guest Post”
I had the list for a while but was challenged on one or two points so added DOX to each of the lies. Took me the better part of a weekend – maybe 16 – 20 hours tops. Here’s one of the early versions. As you can see, there have been some changes. For example, I backed off on the lie that John Key claimed to be Jewish/Christian/Agnostic, reworded others, and even dropped a few when I couldn’t find supporting DOX. Here’s when I started collecting the lies, what I should’ve done was keep up links to the DOX.
I also keep a list on National Ltd™’s environmental record, and a list on the New Zealand police – expect a post on that shortly – and I’m starting a list on another matter which might not pan out, so nuff said on that.
Okay, so I’m slightly OCD when gathering facts showing National Ltd™’s failings and, yeah, using hard data when arguing with RWNJ’s doesn’t change their mind, but I do this as my own wee personal contribution to The Standard. Take your knowledge of “content marketing” and shove it up your arse. kthxbai
As far back as 2002 Key was having Tranzrail “brain fades”. “25,000 to 50,000 shares”. Oh, um, oh, “50,000 to 100,000 shares”.
“I don’t remember, I can’t remember…”
Bit of a pattern here eh.
don’t forget how he was touting the Irish economy and how well Merrill lynch was doing and both went belly and he claims to know nothing!Merrill Lynch were the most corrupt finance company in the world!
Selective memory loss!
From a man that can remember his childhood friends!
Just another one of the cartel, and by no means the biggest or the baddest. For that, look to JP Morgue or the Vampire Squid (aka Goldman Sachs).
And (to go along with Mr Macskasy’s two additions) another one for the list. Thank’s John, I’m lovin’ it . . .
If he is the most publicised and publicly viewed politician, then I worry what the rest of them are up too!
Would be great if this became something that was constantly updated as more appear.
BLip does it pretty much all of the time. And yes I should find him space to update it – needs to be a page he can edit and that shows up on the front page. Mutter, space mutter….
The first time I had heard the word, “Underclass” was when the Key was wandering around the back streets of Mt Roskill raving on how he would give these people the opportunities to say bye-bye poverty ?
Latest figures on Child Poverty – which translates to parent poverty – are up in the 290,000 mark and growing. When I am in the occasional paranoid moment I claim the guy is a plant to benefit US and his former employers….MRP but one example of flogging off the commons, a natural monopoly. They just happen to be a part of the group who specialise in the sale of SOE’s around the world.