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RAW SHARK……THE CAFE, (a new t.v. pilot series) Episode One – “Shark Off”

Written By: - Date published: 10:04 pm, September 28th, 2014 - 6 comments

After TV Two’s successful series of ‘allo, allo, allo, allo based at the Whale Oil Cafe, a pilot series “Raw Shark – the Cafe” will be screening on TV Two in October.  Written by cadet reporter, Tracy Whatshite each episode stars two left wing celebrities who are the staff of the day at Raw Shark. […]

“‘Allo, ‘allo, ‘allo, ‘allo” -Final episode – (Series One) “Chaos and Mayhem”

Written By: - Date published: 7:07 pm, September 6th, 2014 - 7 comments

The Whale Oil Cafe has taken a hit. The walls have holes punched in them.  Most of the windows are smashed  and broken glass and dirt covers the cafe  floor.  The pictures of John Key are still hanging on the cafe walls, although the frames are smashed and glass broken… A whale of disaster has happened

Key “AT HOME” in Whale Oil Cafe

Written By: - Date published: 3:13 pm, May 24th, 2014 - 10 comments

Allo, ‘Allo, ‘Allo, ‘Allo, Episode 4.  Based on the 1980’s comedy series “Allo, ‘Allo”.  starring Cameron Slater as Rene and Judith Collins as Edith his wife.   Set in a greasy spoon cafe off K’d. See previous episodes: Starring role Key  schemes It is early morning before the Whale Oil cafe has opened.  Cameron Rene sits […]

Key Announces National’s Job’s Policy.

Written By: - Date published: 6:29 pm, April 30th, 2014 - 1 comment

‘Allo, Allo, Allo, Allo –  Based on the 1980’s Comedy Series, “Allo, allo”  – Starring Cameron Slater as Rene and Judith Collins as Edith. Episode Three. (See previous episodes)  “Cameron Slater gets starring role in tvnz drama” “Key schemes with media at whaleoil cafe“ By Susan Nact  It is just before opening time at the […]

Winning song urges Key to leave politics

Written By: - Date published: 10:30 am, April 7th, 2014 - 7 comments

Tracy Whatshite, Cadet Reporter, attended the “Bellies” (held at Bellamy’s) and found out who the winners were in this year’s competition for the Best Political Song of 2014. She spoke with the judge Frankie Stevens.

“Competition was particularly intense this year and the top entries included some old favourites, but also some surprizing new comers,” he said.

Key schemes with media at Whaleoil cafe.

Written By: - Date published: 12:00 pm, March 11th, 2014 - 4 comments

 [satire] It’s early morning at a greasy spoon cafe set in a back street off K Road. Rene (Cameron Slater) is scrubbing the grease off the table where he and John Key sat last night. His wife Edith (Judith Collins) is trying to get a fresh milk stain off her jacket.

Taxpayers Union attacks Prince George

Written By: - Date published: 12:00 pm, March 5th, 2014 - 15 comments

[satire] The Taxpayers Union has hit out at Prince George for wasting taxpayers money by accompanying his parents, The Prince and Princess of Cambridge on their Royal Visit to New Zealand.  Jordan Williams lashed out at the Prince saying “We expect that he will cost the New Zealand tax payer approximately $550 in nappies, baby food and sundry expenses while he is here; although since he is an infant, we understand he will not have to pay airfares. Even so, we are astounded at this blatant misuse of taxpayers money ”.

Cameron Slater gets starring role in TVNZ drama

Written By: - Date published: 2:21 pm, February 18th, 2014 - 21 comments

Susan Nact reporting. In a dramatic turn of events, cadet reporter Tracy Whatshite (drinking in a Ponsonby cafe), found an envelope labelled “Top Secret, Property of TVNZ”. We can reveal that inside was a script for a new television series that will be screening on Channel Two later this year. The new drama, has a […]

Key signals coalition with Labour

Written By: - Date published: 11:42 am, January 31st, 2014 - 9 comments

John Key revealed that he was not ruling out going into coalition with Labour after the next election. He is rather bored and this party may make life a bit less boring. Besides this way he can take credit for having made the Best Start.

Breaking News: Aratere to be used in the event of a major oil spill

Written By: - Date published: 2:59 pm, December 3rd, 2013 - 38 comments

As Greenpeace make a bid in the High Court to challenge the EPA’s decision to grant Anadarko permission to deep sea drill, we can reveal the content of secret documents detailing the contingency plan in the event of a major oil spill. The documents outline how the stricken inter island ferry Aratere will be deployed in the cleanup effort, should a catastrophic event occur.

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