- Date published:
9:06 am, August 2nd, 2019 - 19 comments
Categories: crosby textor, cycleway, humour, making shit up, national, parody, same old national, Satire, transport, you couldn't make this shit up - Tags: ben guerin, sean topham
Obtained from a reliable source …
Memo from Crosby Textor
To all clients
You may be aware that the Guardian, that scurrilous left wing attack publication, has made unfounded allegations against this firm and its employees.
Crosby Textor, or as we are now known as CTF Partners, continues to offer our clients an unparalleled range of experience and an unrivalled record of success.
It is correct that the firm hires children of Conservative donors and the offspring of prominent media executives at right wing news outlets. But they are selected entirely on merit, such as which school they went to, how much their parents have donated to the Conservative Party and how much inside running they can provide with the media. Describing this firm as a kindergarten is a baseless distortion. Our younger staff members can be more accurately described as over testosteroned teenagers rather than badly behaved infants.
The firm has a very productive relationship with New Zealanders Sean Topham and Ben Guerin. They are worth the retainer of £10,000 per month to run digital campaigns.
And claims that Mr Topham has a reputation for misogyny are also totally unwarranted, so unwarranted that he will engage his high price lawyers at any stage to suppress these allegations.
As for the claims that this firm:
these are all examples of fake news. This firm is that influential that shadowy forces are conspiring to take us down.