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The Flag will make us rich

Written By: - Date published: 12:21 pm, August 6th, 2015 - 66 comments
Categories: john key, making shit up, Minister for International Embarrassment, spin, the praiseworthy and the pitiful, you couldn't make this shit up - Tags:

John Key flag

From the you have to be joking file, John Key thinks that the new flag will make us rich.

As reported on stuff:

People say it will cost $26 million, it will cost less than that,” he said.

He argued that the flag would make New Zealand money in the long term.

“How much is it worth ultimately if we change our flag and people recognise and buy our products?

“Basically in the end it’s gonna be worth billions over time.”

If he is right maybe we should get two national flags. Or three. Or change it every year.

Snake oil salesman strikes again.

66 comments on “The Flag will make us rich”

  1. Paul 1

    More FM and Stuff doing the PM’s job for him and distracting from the real issues.
    I wonder if they asked him about Fonterra, Saudi Arabia, Auckland housing, etc

  2. mac1 2

    Get the pinpoint accuracy of Key’s predictive language-,’basically’, ‘in the end’, ‘over time’, ‘ultimately’.

    As if I, or he, is going to be around to call bullshit on that one.

    • heather tanguay 2.1

      This is complete nonsense, this is just too much
      The community has had enough of this complete rubbish

  3. Colonial Viper 3

    Just another corporate mantra over another corporate logo

    • Paul 3.1

      It is in an interview like this you really see what a shallow person Key is.
      His ‘aspiration’ for this country just seems for us to be a famous brand.
      The mediocrity of his vision is laid bare.

      • dukeofurl 3.1.1

        Its worse than that, this is just his latest ‘shallow thoughts’

        At first the new flag was to make us all ‘patriotic flag wavers’ but those lines havent worked.

  4. Detrie 4

    Yes, it seems every comment he ever makes in public or in parliament on anything is carefully qualified.

    • Hanswurst 4.1

      I don’t think it’s so much that it’s carefully qualified as that he just instinctively sprays qualifiers around when giving assurances. in fact it’s laid on so thick that it may well be a nervous habit, since “ultimately”, “in the end” and “over time” all express basiically the same thing.

  5. maui 5

    Phew, that’s lucky if it’s now worth billions, then lets cut to the chase and make sure we maximise our global reach on the flagpole.


  6. Tricledrown 6

    The new New Zealand flag Keystyle.
    A pair of pants on fire on a flagpole.

  7. tc 7

    A depiction of the kiwi being rogered by large corporates, Uncle Sam and China would be an accurate reflection of Keys legacy

  8. McFlock 8


    Economics has been called the “dismal science”, knowing the price of everything and the value of nothing. Key just bullshits the value of anything and ignores the price of everything.

  9. yay billions – now WE can buy China /sarc

  10. Bob 10

    While it does sound like a ridiculous statement to make, our Milk, Cheese, Lamb, Wool, Honey (Manuka), Wine, Kiwifruit, Apple and plenty of other exports have a great name globally, having a flag that we can put onto these products with works as an instant visual cue that these are NZ made products ‘could’ be a great way of identifying these products globally.
    Based on the evidence of the completely unscientific Seven Sharp Times Square experiment, we currently do not have a key (excuse the term) visual identifier that sets us apart from Australia: http://tvnz.co.nz/seven-sharp/australia-jack-tame-experiments-nz-flag-in-times-square-video-6350987

    Whether a change of flag would help, only time will tell (and claiming it would be worth Billions over time is a hell of a stretch), but it certainly shouldn’t be completely dismissed either.

    • tc 10.1

      So what’s wrong with ‘MADE IN NEW ZEALAND’ cheap, effective and unambiguous.

      wasn’t this one of the ‘100% Pure NZ’s’ objectives ?

      • Bob 10.1.1

        Yes, MADE IN NEW ZEALAND is cheap and reasonably effective, but visual cues are recognised much faster/easier by the human eye, and they have the added bonus of not excluding those who are illiterate or who have reading disorders such as dyslexia.

        Why do you think Apple use a logo on the back of their products rather than the word “APPLE”.

        • One Anonymous Bloke


          Some people (quaint, isn’t it) consider a country’s flag signifies something a little more than commerce.

          That’s one reason there’s already a commercial brand available.

          • Bob

            The NZ flag signifies and represents a hell of a lot more than commerce, but that isn’t what this post is about is it OAB?

            • One Anonymous Bloke

              having a flag that we can put onto these products with works as an instant visual cue that these are NZ made products

              We already have one, as per the link. The flag represents our national identity, not some marketing patter.

        • tc

          As I said wasn’t that what the 100% pure brand was all about, clear, consice and like the AB’s strip all black and had a good presence and immediate association with NZ.

          Visually very easily identifiable….whereas a new flag will take yonks before it’s got any immediate impact.

          you also assume this wonderful new flag will be so compelling that all the brand packaging designers will run toward it with open arms….think again.

          • Bob

            Correct, but the 100% Pure brand won’t be around forever, once a new marketing agency comes alone that brand is likely gone, which is why the PM did say (so eloquently) “Basically in the end it’s gonna be worth billions over time.”
            The ‘over time’ part is what you seem to have missed.

            “you also assume this wonderful new flag will be so compelling that all the brand packaging designers will run toward it with open arms….think again.”
            They ran to the 100% pure brand didn’t they?

        • dukeofurl

          The reason why Apple have a logo is because you cant copyright the word apple.

          There is some protection for ‘Apple computers’ but not as much as a logo itself.

          if the apple logo was so great why did they invent a new name like “iphone”

          Your reasoning is faulty

          • Bob

            They have copyrighted and fiercely protected the terms iPhone, iPad, iPod etc. why don’t they use those terms on the back of their products?

        • Tracey

          you know lots of companies use a silver fern in their branding already to do the same thing?

          • dukeofurl

            Thats true. Wines or food just say product of ‘ Wherever’, New Zealand.

            Im thinking meat uses the Silverfern Farms branding.

            Nothing for the overseas market makes much of the flag, just having a new flag wont change anything unless theres a billion dollar branding campaign to go with it.

          • Bob

            You know NZ Rugby own the rights to the Silver Fern don’t you? They could charge for that use at any point if they wanted too, so why would you open you brand to unnecessary risk?

        • meconism

          I don’t know, is it the same reason they stole the idea from the record company of the same name?

    • freedom 10.2

      If Americans’ knowledge of the world is some sort of benchmark we are in real trouble 😉

    • Hanswurst 10.3

      “It shouldn’t be completely dismissed” is a terrible argument. You’re supposed to use facts to back up your decisions, not make decisions haphazardly and use them to work out what the facts might be afterwards. What gets me is that our prime minister is apparently just dreaming up any old thing and using it to sell policy purely on the basis that it doesn’t sound massively implausible.

  11. CR 11

    Yeah we should just cut the patriotic sovereign nation state what do we stand for crap and issue flag bonds, sell them to the highest bidder on a 5 year contract. Our first new flag could be black with white letters in a white frame…AIG maybe.

  12. Sanctuary 12

    Sounds like he has been talking to the Warriors marketing department, they wear a new jersey every week.

  13. Tigger 13

    Imagine how much BP, Nike or Coca Cola would pay if we incorporated their logos on our flag? Or maybe we just make their logo our flag? McDonalds would pay big bucks for that. We can change the name of our country too to Big Mac or McChicken.

    • Paul 13.1

      It’s not below Key.

    • Clemgeopin 13.2

      “Imagine how much BP, Nike or Coca Cola would pay if we incorporated their logos on our flag?”

      What a splendid idea! Have a different corporate logo each month as our flag. Make the global corporates feverishly bid for the right. Private-Public partnership! We could even permanently incorporate a picture of Key and weasel side by side! See and hear the ching-ching millions, billions, trillions and may be even some brazilians our way! Oh, what joy!

  14. hoom 14

    26 Million is only the cost of the referendum & consultations.
    The actual cost of reprinting & manufacturing replacements for everything that has NZ flags/images of NZ flag on it currently will be much more.

  15. Smilin 15

    Just call it Blase faire to go with his Laissez faire austerity ridden ego centric greed and self gratification of how great he thinks he is

  16. Tombstone 16

    Once again Nats caught up having to explain themselves this time over the dirty rotten Saudi deal and out comes the flag debate with Stuff & More FM happy to do the puppet masters bidding.

    Key says its worth billions! Oh fuck off …. saying it will be worth billions doesn’t make it so & that’s the point that MSM seem to be missing here or willfully ignoring (take your pick). Simply repeating these ridiculous statements by Key doesn’t mean that any of it will actually come to fruition. It’s all verbal diarhea with hacks lining up to smother their front pages in it.

    Now how about the Saudi deal? And what about Auckland housing? Jean Jones closing the doors & unemployment on the rise? What’s happening with Talley’s & how about that $101b national debt? TPPA anyone?

    Get a grip MSM – start doing your jobs.

  17. Smilin 17

    We could have a kiwi rollin up a stokey with “Betta than burning the bush”on it

  18. Paul 18

    I nominate AIG’s logo as the flag for John Key’s new nation of ‘Absurdistan.*’ ( * from Metro)
    Bad enough not to settle claims fully with the people of Christchurch.
    Yet powerful enough to get their logo on the All Blacks jersey and force the players into an annual pilgrimage to Chicago.


  19. Charles 19

    If my brain is turned on, and I can never entirely be sure, he is sort of right. It’s bit like that style of management thinking that runs: When your business has reached a critical point of make-or-break, always go out and buy a new company car/fleet, new offices, etc etc. Magic then happens, and the virtual momentum of percieved success (as seen by your clients) results in additional orders and that pushes you over the line. And if it doesn’t, then at least you feel better, while your creditors suffer, which puts you in a better position to start another business… yay! He’d have to be sure something like the TPPA was signed, to back up the appearances – or just be a complete loon.

    Theoretically, everyone having to renew their stationery and paintwork etc would generate some “extra millions”, or maybe just millions of churn. Money would change hands, put it that way. But if that was something he believed in, by the end of next month he could also end child poverty, raise benefit levels, increase minimum wage/introduce living wage – lots of good direct-action stuff – all under the title of good investments. But this the Nats, afterall.

    • tc 19.1

      yes like a stopped clock is correct twice a day.

    • Tracey 19.2

      When you have fucked up the economy as these guys have, you need a shiny new brand to con the punters into thinking they are buying something different…


    • Melanie Scott 19.3

      Yes you’ve got it. Can’t remember the book that made me understand that, was it ‘Rogueconomics’, ‘The Death of Money’, ‘Griftopia’ or one about the fallacy of exponential economic growth (can’t remember the name). GDP can be a false indicator of the health of an economy, it could actually be an indicator that things are really far from good, just lots of money changing hands, not ‘healthy economic activity’ at all. A bit like moving the deck chairs on the Titanic.

  20. Akldnut 20

    Ad in foreign newspapers next week…….
    FOR SALE – 1X brand new (New Zealand) Flag
    Start Price : $100,000,000
    No reserve>>>>>>>>>>>>
    Accept all major credit cards, BANK transfers welcome.
    contact: https://www.national.org.nz/

  21. I’m thinking kinda like a cross between a ponytail and a wind sock. But with ferns on it.

  22. Mrs Brillo 22

    Insisting on a new flag to “promote” us reminds me of the old Cockney barrow boys’ saying:
    “When business is bad, paint the cart.”

  23. Tanz 23

    Read in the Herald today that Key wants to encourage Chinese investors to buy in the regions so that people’s homes will be worth more. FFS, does he not care about the fact that a basic home in Auckland costs $500,000 grand more than it did five years ago? So now first home buyers won’t even have the back-up of the regions to buy in. Shows where Key’s priorities lie, and it sure the heck ain’t with home-grown Kiwis.

    • Tracey 23.1

      He made his money in a career of imaginary stuff… currency trading, raising people’s house values is meaningless unless they are selling and buying into a different market. Smokes and Mirrors baby.

      • dukeofurl 23.1.1

        As we now know the currency trading out of London where Key was based was rigged.
        They did the same with the interest rates- they are just fractions of cents but it means huge amounts in markets counted in trillions over time.

    • dukeofurl 23.2

      Doesnt even make sense, as Key is saying Chinese investors ARENT pushing up prices in Auckland, but they ARE supposed to push up prices in provincial areas ?

      if he did say this its complete and contradictory rubbish, then again……

      • Chooky 23.2.1

        he is very shallow you know…doesnt worry about consistency …just being glib…and getting away with things…especially selling off the countries assets

  24. CnrJoe 24

    From the twitter
    To be fair to the PM, he is thinking in epochal terms: “Basically in the end it’s gonna be worth billions over time.” Micheal Wood

    True, one cent a year could really accrue in geological time. I’m sorry I doubted the PM now.

  25. Pat 25

    awesome….i’ll sell the cows and the farm and buy flags!!!!

  26. Clemgeopin 26

    In the end, we are all dead!

  27. Irascible 27

    Key and his Cabinet of Cronies are living on Planet Key if they think a new flag is both a legacy and worth billions of $$ to the country. Total speculator bumpf.

  28. Michael 28

    The man’s deluded. No wonder he’s our leader.

  29. keyman 29

    this must be the something special flag by key

  30. Stuart Munro 30

    They’re worth billions – fine – lets pay Key’s salary in flags.

  31. Thinkerr 31

    Are the Australians changing their flag too, then?

  32. ropata 32

    A goatse flag with the sun shining out of Johnny Keyster’s ass

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    Taita College in the Hutt Valley will be redeveloped to upgrade its ageing classrooms and leaky roofs, Education Minister Chris Hipkins announced today. “The work is long overdue and will make a lasting difference to the school for generations to come,” Chris Hipkins said. “Too many of our schools are ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Redeployment for workers in hard-hit regions
    The Government is allocating $36.72 million to projects in regions hard hit economically by COVID-19 to keep people working, Economic Development Minister Phil Twyford and Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones announced today. Projects in Hawke’s Bay, Northland, Rotorua and Queenstown will be funded from the Government’s $100 million worker ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • $35m to build financial resilience for New Zealanders
    A $35m boost to financial capability service providers funded by MSD will help New Zealanders manage their money better both day to day and through periods of financial difficulty, announced Social Development Minister Carmel Sepuloni. “It’s always been our position to increase support to key groups experiencing or at risk ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • New District Court Judge appointed
    Dunedin barrister Melinda Broek has been appointed as a District Court Judge with Family Court jurisdiction to be based in Rotorua, Attorney-General David Parker announced today. Ms Broek has iwi affiliations to Ngai Tai. She commenced her employment in 1996 with Scholefield Cockroft Lloyd in Invercargill specialising in family and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • $206 million investment in upgrades at Ohakea Air Force Base
    The Coalition Government has approved a business case for $206 million in upgrades to critical infrastructure at Royal New Zealand Air Force Base Ohakea, with the first phase starting later this year, Defence Minister Ron Mark announced today. The investment will be made in three phases over five years, and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Review of CAA organisational culture released
    Transport Minister Phil Twyford today released the Ministry of Transport’s review of the organisational culture at the Civil Aviation Authority. Phil Twyford says all employees are entitled to a safe work environment. “I commissioned this independent review due to the concerns I had about the culture within the CAA, and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • New Board appointed at Stats NZ
    Ensuring that Stats NZ’s direction and strategy best supports government policy decisions will be a key focus for a new Governance Advisory Board announced today by the Minister for Statistics, James Shaw. The new Governance Advisory Board will provide strategic advice to Stats NZ to ensure it is meeting New ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • New Principal Environment Judge
    Environment Judge David Kirkpatrick of Auckland has been appointed as the Principal Environment Judge, Attorney-General David Parker announced today.  Judge Kirkpatrick was appointed an Environment Judge in February 2014. From December 2013 to July 2016 he was Chair of the Auckland Unitary Plan Independent Hearings Panel. Prior to appointment he ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Digital connectivity boost for urban marae
    A programme to connect marae around the country to the internet has received $1.4 million to expand to include urban marae in Auckland, Wellington and Christchurch, Broadcasting, Communications and Digital Media Minister Kris Faafoi and Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones announced today. The funding for the Marae Connectivity Programme ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Govt increases assistance to drought-stricken Hawke’s Bay farmers
    The Government will provide $500,000 to the Hawke’s Bay Mayoral Drought Relief Fund to help farmers facing one of the worst droughts in living memory, says Agriculture Minister Damien O’Connor. “Yesterday afternoon I received a letter from Hawke's Bay's five local Government leaders asking me to contribute to the Fund. ...
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    1 week ago
  • Investment in New Zealand’s history
    Budget 2020 provides a major investment in New Zealand’s documentary heritage sector, with a commitment to leasing a new Archives Wellington facility and an increase in funding for Archives and National Library work. “Last year I released plans for a new Archives Wellington building – a purpose-built facility physically connected ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Driving prompt payments to small businesses
    Government Ministers are asking significant private enterprises to adopt prompt payment practices in line with the state sector, as a way to improve cashflow for small businesses. The Ministers of Finance, Small Business, Commerce and Consumer Affairs have written to more than 40 significant enterprises and banking industry representatives to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Rotorua tourist icon to be safeguarded
    Maori Arts and Crafts will continue to underpin the heart of the tourism sector says Minister for Maori Development Nanaia Mahuta.  “That’s why we are making a core investment of $7.6 million to Te Puia New Zealand Māori Arts and Crafts Institute, over two years, as part of the Government’s ...
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    1 week ago
  • $14.7m for jobs training and education
    The Government is funding more pathways to jobs through training and education programmes in regional New Zealand to support the provinces’ recovery from the economic impacts of COVID-19, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones and Employment Minister Willie Jackson have announced. “New Zealand’s economic recovery will be largely driven by ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Is it time to further recognise those who serve in our military?
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Paving the way for a fully qualified early learning workforce
    The Government’s drive to improve the quality of early childhood education (ECE) is taking another step forward with the reintroduction of a higher funding rate for services that employ fully qualified and registered teachers, Education Minister Chris Hipkins has announced. “Research shows that high-quality ECE can improve young people’s learning ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Sport Recovery Package announced
    The Sport and Recreation sector will receive a multi-million dollar boost as part of the COVID-19 response funded at Budget 2020.  Grant Robertson says the Sport and Recreation Sector contributes about $5 billion a year to New Zealand’s GDP and employs more than 53,000 people. “Sport plays a significant role ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Major boost in support for caregivers and children
    A major increase in funding and availability of support will improve the incomes and reduce the pressure on 14,000 caregivers looking after more than 22,000 children. Children’s Minister Tracey Martin says that caregivers – all those looking after someone else’s children both in and outside the state care system – ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Great Walks recovery on track for summer
    Vital conservation and visitor infrastructure destroyed by a severe flood event in Fiordland earlier this year is being rebuilt through a $13.7 million Budget 2020 investment, announced Minister of Conservation Eugenie Sage.   “This investment will mean iconic Great Walks such as the Routeburn track and the full length of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Māori – Government partnership gives whānau a new housing deal
    The Government is investing  $40 million in a partnership with Māori to get more whānau into warm, dry and secure accommodation, Associate Minister for Housing (Māori Housing) Hon Nanaia Mahuta says.. “We are partnering with Māori and iwi to respond to the growing housing crisis in the wake of COVID-19. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Keeping New Zealanders Safe In The Water
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Legal framework for COVID-19 Alert Level referred to select committee
    The COVID-19 Public Health Response Act 2020, which set a sound legal framework ahead of the move to Alert level 2, has been referred to a parliamentary select committee for review.  Attorney-General David Parker said the review of the operation of the COVID-19 specific law would be reported back to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago