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The Flag will make us rich

Written By: - Date published: 12:21 pm, August 6th, 2015 - 66 comments
Categories: john key, making shit up, Minister for International Embarrassment, spin, the praiseworthy and the pitiful, you couldn't make this shit up - Tags:

John Key flag

From the you have to be joking file, John Key thinks that the new flag will make us rich.

As reported on stuff:

People say it will cost $26 million, it will cost less than that,” he said.

He argued that the flag would make New Zealand money in the long term.

“How much is it worth ultimately if we change our flag and people recognise and buy our products?

“Basically in the end it’s gonna be worth billions over time.”

If he is right maybe we should get two national flags. Or three. Or change it every year.

Snake oil salesman strikes again.

66 comments on “The Flag will make us rich ”

  1. Paul 1

    More FM and Stuff doing the PM’s job for him and distracting from the real issues.
    I wonder if they asked him about Fonterra, Saudi Arabia, Auckland housing, etc

  2. mac1 2

    Get the pinpoint accuracy of Key’s predictive language-,’basically’, ‘in the end’, ‘over time’, ‘ultimately’.

    As if I, or he, is going to be around to call bullshit on that one.

    • heather tanguay 2.1

      This is complete nonsense, this is just too much
      The community has had enough of this complete rubbish

  3. Colonial Viper 3

    Just another corporate mantra over another corporate logo

    • Paul 3.1

      It is in an interview like this you really see what a shallow person Key is.
      His ‘aspiration’ for this country just seems for us to be a famous brand.
      The mediocrity of his vision is laid bare.

      • dukeofurl 3.1.1

        Its worse than that, this is just his latest ‘shallow thoughts’

        At first the new flag was to make us all ‘patriotic flag wavers’ but those lines havent worked.

  4. Detrie 4

    Yes, it seems every comment he ever makes in public or in parliament on anything is carefully qualified.

    • Hanswurst 4.1

      I don’t think it’s so much that it’s carefully qualified as that he just instinctively sprays qualifiers around when giving assurances. in fact it’s laid on so thick that it may well be a nervous habit, since “ultimately”, “in the end” and “over time” all express basiically the same thing.

  5. maui 5

    Phew, that’s lucky if it’s now worth billions, then lets cut to the chase and make sure we maximise our global reach on the flagpole.


  6. Tricledrown 6

    The new New Zealand flag Keystyle.
    A pair of pants on fire on a flagpole.

  7. tc 7

    A depiction of the kiwi being rogered by large corporates, Uncle Sam and China would be an accurate reflection of Keys legacy

  8. McFlock 8


    Economics has been called the “dismal science”, knowing the price of everything and the value of nothing. Key just bullshits the value of anything and ignores the price of everything.

  9. yay billions – now WE can buy China /sarc

  10. Bob 10

    While it does sound like a ridiculous statement to make, our Milk, Cheese, Lamb, Wool, Honey (Manuka), Wine, Kiwifruit, Apple and plenty of other exports have a great name globally, having a flag that we can put onto these products with works as an instant visual cue that these are NZ made products ‘could’ be a great way of identifying these products globally.
    Based on the evidence of the completely unscientific Seven Sharp Times Square experiment, we currently do not have a key (excuse the term) visual identifier that sets us apart from Australia: http://tvnz.co.nz/seven-sharp/australia-jack-tame-experiments-nz-flag-in-times-square-video-6350987

    Whether a change of flag would help, only time will tell (and claiming it would be worth Billions over time is a hell of a stretch), but it certainly shouldn’t be completely dismissed either.

    • tc 10.1

      So what’s wrong with ‘MADE IN NEW ZEALAND’ cheap, effective and unambiguous.

      wasn’t this one of the ‘100% Pure NZ’s’ objectives ?

      • Bob 10.1.1

        Yes, MADE IN NEW ZEALAND is cheap and reasonably effective, but visual cues are recognised much faster/easier by the human eye, and they have the added bonus of not excluding those who are illiterate or who have reading disorders such as dyslexia.

        Why do you think Apple use a logo on the back of their products rather than the word “APPLE”.

        • One Anonymous Bloke


          Some people (quaint, isn’t it) consider a country’s flag signifies something a little more than commerce.

          That’s one reason there’s already a commercial brand available.

          • Bob

            The NZ flag signifies and represents a hell of a lot more than commerce, but that isn’t what this post is about is it OAB?

            • One Anonymous Bloke

              having a flag that we can put onto these products with works as an instant visual cue that these are NZ made products

              We already have one, as per the link. The flag represents our national identity, not some marketing patter.

        • tc

          As I said wasn’t that what the 100% pure brand was all about, clear, consice and like the AB’s strip all black and had a good presence and immediate association with NZ.

          Visually very easily identifiable….whereas a new flag will take yonks before it’s got any immediate impact.

          you also assume this wonderful new flag will be so compelling that all the brand packaging designers will run toward it with open arms….think again.

          • Bob

            Correct, but the 100% Pure brand won’t be around forever, once a new marketing agency comes alone that brand is likely gone, which is why the PM did say (so eloquently) “Basically in the end it’s gonna be worth billions over time.”
            The ‘over time’ part is what you seem to have missed.

            “you also assume this wonderful new flag will be so compelling that all the brand packaging designers will run toward it with open arms….think again.”
            They ran to the 100% pure brand didn’t they?

        • dukeofurl

          The reason why Apple have a logo is because you cant copyright the word apple.

          There is some protection for ‘Apple computers’ but not as much as a logo itself.

          if the apple logo was so great why did they invent a new name like “iphone”

          Your reasoning is faulty

          • Bob

            They have copyrighted and fiercely protected the terms iPhone, iPad, iPod etc. why don’t they use those terms on the back of their products?

        • Tracey

          you know lots of companies use a silver fern in their branding already to do the same thing?

          • dukeofurl

            Thats true. Wines or food just say product of ‘ Wherever’, New Zealand.

            Im thinking meat uses the Silverfern Farms branding.

            Nothing for the overseas market makes much of the flag, just having a new flag wont change anything unless theres a billion dollar branding campaign to go with it.

          • Bob

            You know NZ Rugby own the rights to the Silver Fern don’t you? They could charge for that use at any point if they wanted too, so why would you open you brand to unnecessary risk?

        • meconism

          I don’t know, is it the same reason they stole the idea from the record company of the same name?

    • freedom 10.2

      If Americans’ knowledge of the world is some sort of benchmark we are in real trouble 😉

    • Hanswurst 10.3

      “It shouldn’t be completely dismissed” is a terrible argument. You’re supposed to use facts to back up your decisions, not make decisions haphazardly and use them to work out what the facts might be afterwards. What gets me is that our prime minister is apparently just dreaming up any old thing and using it to sell policy purely on the basis that it doesn’t sound massively implausible.

  11. CR 11

    Yeah we should just cut the patriotic sovereign nation state what do we stand for crap and issue flag bonds, sell them to the highest bidder on a 5 year contract. Our first new flag could be black with white letters in a white frame…AIG maybe.

  12. Sanctuary 12

    Sounds like he has been talking to the Warriors marketing department, they wear a new jersey every week.

  13. Tigger 13

    Imagine how much BP, Nike or Coca Cola would pay if we incorporated their logos on our flag? Or maybe we just make their logo our flag? McDonalds would pay big bucks for that. We can change the name of our country too to Big Mac or McChicken.

    • Paul 13.1

      It’s not below Key.

    • Clemgeopin 13.2

      “Imagine how much BP, Nike or Coca Cola would pay if we incorporated their logos on our flag?”

      What a splendid idea! Have a different corporate logo each month as our flag. Make the global corporates feverishly bid for the right. Private-Public partnership! We could even permanently incorporate a picture of Key and weasel side by side! See and hear the ching-ching millions, billions, trillions and may be even some brazilians our way! Oh, what joy!

  14. hoom 14

    26 Million is only the cost of the referendum & consultations.
    The actual cost of reprinting & manufacturing replacements for everything that has NZ flags/images of NZ flag on it currently will be much more.

  15. Smilin 15

    Just call it Blase faire to go with his Laissez faire austerity ridden ego centric greed and self gratification of how great he thinks he is

  16. Tombstone 16

    Once again Nats caught up having to explain themselves this time over the dirty rotten Saudi deal and out comes the flag debate with Stuff & More FM happy to do the puppet masters bidding.

    Key says its worth billions! Oh fuck off …. saying it will be worth billions doesn’t make it so & that’s the point that MSM seem to be missing here or willfully ignoring (take your pick). Simply repeating these ridiculous statements by Key doesn’t mean that any of it will actually come to fruition. It’s all verbal diarhea with hacks lining up to smother their front pages in it.

    Now how about the Saudi deal? And what about Auckland housing? Jean Jones closing the doors & unemployment on the rise? What’s happening with Talley’s & how about that $101b national debt? TPPA anyone?

    Get a grip MSM – start doing your jobs.

  17. Smilin 17

    We could have a kiwi rollin up a stokey with “Betta than burning the bush”on it

  18. Paul 18

    I nominate AIG’s logo as the flag for John Key’s new nation of ‘Absurdistan.*’ ( * from Metro)
    Bad enough not to settle claims fully with the people of Christchurch.
    Yet powerful enough to get their logo on the All Blacks jersey and force the players into an annual pilgrimage to Chicago.


  19. Charles 19

    If my brain is turned on, and I can never entirely be sure, he is sort of right. It’s bit like that style of management thinking that runs: When your business has reached a critical point of make-or-break, always go out and buy a new company car/fleet, new offices, etc etc. Magic then happens, and the virtual momentum of percieved success (as seen by your clients) results in additional orders and that pushes you over the line. And if it doesn’t, then at least you feel better, while your creditors suffer, which puts you in a better position to start another business… yay! He’d have to be sure something like the TPPA was signed, to back up the appearances – or just be a complete loon.

    Theoretically, everyone having to renew their stationery and paintwork etc would generate some “extra millions”, or maybe just millions of churn. Money would change hands, put it that way. But if that was something he believed in, by the end of next month he could also end child poverty, raise benefit levels, increase minimum wage/introduce living wage – lots of good direct-action stuff – all under the title of good investments. But this the Nats, afterall.

    • tc 19.1

      yes like a stopped clock is correct twice a day.

    • Tracey 19.2

      When you have fucked up the economy as these guys have, you need a shiny new brand to con the punters into thinking they are buying something different…


    • Melanie Scott 19.3

      Yes you’ve got it. Can’t remember the book that made me understand that, was it ‘Rogueconomics’, ‘The Death of Money’, ‘Griftopia’ or one about the fallacy of exponential economic growth (can’t remember the name). GDP can be a false indicator of the health of an economy, it could actually be an indicator that things are really far from good, just lots of money changing hands, not ‘healthy economic activity’ at all. A bit like moving the deck chairs on the Titanic.

  20. Akldnut 20

    Ad in foreign newspapers next week…….
    FOR SALE – 1X brand new (New Zealand) Flag
    Start Price : $100,000,000
    No reserve>>>>>>>>>>>>
    Accept all major credit cards, BANK transfers welcome.
    contact: https://www.national.org.nz/

  21. I’m thinking kinda like a cross between a ponytail and a wind sock. But with ferns on it.

  22. Mrs Brillo 22

    Insisting on a new flag to “promote” us reminds me of the old Cockney barrow boys’ saying:
    “When business is bad, paint the cart.”

  23. Tanz 23

    Read in the Herald today that Key wants to encourage Chinese investors to buy in the regions so that people’s homes will be worth more. FFS, does he not care about the fact that a basic home in Auckland costs $500,000 grand more than it did five years ago? So now first home buyers won’t even have the back-up of the regions to buy in. Shows where Key’s priorities lie, and it sure the heck ain’t with home-grown Kiwis.

    • Tracey 23.1

      He made his money in a career of imaginary stuff… currency trading, raising people’s house values is meaningless unless they are selling and buying into a different market. Smokes and Mirrors baby.

      • dukeofurl 23.1.1

        As we now know the currency trading out of London where Key was based was rigged.
        They did the same with the interest rates- they are just fractions of cents but it means huge amounts in markets counted in trillions over time.

    • dukeofurl 23.2

      Doesnt even make sense, as Key is saying Chinese investors ARENT pushing up prices in Auckland, but they ARE supposed to push up prices in provincial areas ?

      if he did say this its complete and contradictory rubbish, then again……

      • Chooky 23.2.1

        he is very shallow you know…doesnt worry about consistency …just being glib…and getting away with things…especially selling off the countries assets

  24. CnrJoe 24

    From the twitter
    To be fair to the PM, he is thinking in epochal terms: “Basically in the end it’s gonna be worth billions over time.” Micheal Wood

    True, one cent a year could really accrue in geological time. I’m sorry I doubted the PM now.

  25. Pat 25

    awesome….i’ll sell the cows and the farm and buy flags!!!!

  26. Clemgeopin 26

    In the end, we are all dead!

  27. Irascible 27

    Key and his Cabinet of Cronies are living on Planet Key if they think a new flag is both a legacy and worth billions of $$ to the country. Total speculator bumpf.

  28. Michael 28

    The man’s deluded. No wonder he’s our leader.

  29. keyman 29

    this must be the something special flag by key

  30. Stuart Munro 30

    They’re worth billions – fine – lets pay Key’s salary in flags.

  31. Thinkerr 31

    Are the Australians changing their flag too, then?

  32. ropata 32

    A goatse flag with the sun shining out of Johnny Keyster’s ass

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