Caption Competition
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- Date published:
7:26 am, May 30th, 2009 - 18 comments
Categories: bill english, budget 2009, caption contest, humour, john key, national/act government -
Tags: leadership, look behind you
18 comments on “Caption Competition ”
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- Down to the waterline
I have become momentarily intrigued by the concept of snow on the beach.This, according to Howeverythingworks, is the Uradome Coast where you can see snow-covered landscapes meeting the white sandy shore and the blue Sea of Japan.My several seconds of research tells me you can find something very much like ...50 mins ago - National’s privatised child-abuse camps
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Kia ora. Long stories short, here’s my top six things to note in Aotearoa’s political economy around housing, climate and poverty on Tuesday, November 5: Strangely for a party that prides itself on being a mainstream bastion of ‘small c’ conservatism, National under PM Christopher Luxon is increasingly at risk ...4 hours ago - Time Cut
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- We’ve got issues
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Te Pāti Māori Co-leaders Rawiri Waititi and Debbie Ngarewa-Packer welcome today’s ruling from the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA), which found that a Hobson's Pledge advertisement regarding customary marine titles was misleading and socially irresponsible. The two-page wraparound ad, published in The New Zealand Herald, suggested that nearly the entire coastline ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Benefit numbers continue to soar under National
National’s all pain approach to beneficiaries has yielded no gain as benefit numbers continue to surge past projected figures. ...3 weeks ago
- Casey Costello: What Once Was…
Entering politics is a privilege afforded to very few and, as the saying goes, with great power comes great responsibility. Being an MP is a call to service. Whatever your politics you have a duty to show up. Whatever your party's policy, you have made a promise to those who ...3 weeks ago
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Sanctions on beneficiaries have sky-rocketed since the Coalition Government came to power, pushing more families into poverty. ...3 weeks ago
- International Energy Agency issues wake-up call on climate action
Today’s report from the International Energy Agency highlights how far this Government’s actions are dragging us backwards in the fight against climate change. ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Lack of funding puts pressure on frontline Police
News that 173 roles are being cut at Police will only put more pressure on the frontline. ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Bipartisan agreement on outdated marriage law
Changes to outdated relationships legislation has passed its third reading giving family violence survivors the power to quickly dissolve abusive marriages. ...3 weeks ago
- Oranga Tamariki Oversight Bill passes first reading
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The NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) Board has confirmed next steps on the SH1 Wellington Improvements Road of National Significance (RoNS), including an expanded package to reduce Wellington’s gridlock and support economic growth, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. “Our Government is committed to delivering a second Mt Victoria Tunnel for Wellington to ...2 hours ago
- Appointments strengthen Conservation Boards
The latest Conservation Board appointments will help to strengthen environmental efforts across Aotearoa New Zealand, Conservation Minister Tama Potaka says. Mr Potaka today announced 64 appointments to the country’s 14 Conservation Boards. “Conservation Boards play a vital role as liaison between DOC with their regions, making their community’s voice heard ...5 hours ago
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Infrastructure Minister Chris Bishop has welcomed the first steps from the Infrastructure Commission in developing New Zealand’s 30-year National Infrastructure Plan. The Commission today released a discussion document which outlines the Commission’s thinking in developing the 30-year plan, including looking at what’s needed over the next 30 years, what our ...6 hours ago
- Stats show Medsafe accelerates approval assessments
Associate Health Minister David Seymour says that Medsafe’s annual performance statistics released today show that Medsafe are accelerating their approval process. “The data produced in Medsafe’s annual statistics show that in 2023/2024 Medsafe expedited their assessment process for almost every category of medicine,” says Mr Seymour. For innovative new medicines ...7 hours ago
- New rules mean faster payment times for small businesses
New requirements for government agencies to pay their invoices faster and adopt labour-saving technology are an important part of our plan to rebuild the economy and support small businesses, Small Business and Manufacturing Minister Andrew Bayly and Economic Development Minister Melissa Lee say. “The Government is ambitious about lifting New ...7 hours ago
- Speech – Diwali 2024
Namaste. Namaskar. Namaskaram. Vanakkam. Sat Sri Akal. Kem chho. Greetings to you all. It is my great privilege, as Minister for Ethnic Communities, to host this year’s Diwali Celebration at Parliament. I am truly excited to be with you all for Diwali as your Minister, and I warmly welcome each ...24 hours ago
- Accelerating maths achievement for Kiwi kids
The Government is continuing to transform maths education, by trialling a targeted maths acceleration programme to give more Kiwi kids confidence in mathematics. “After discovering just 22 per cent of Year 8 students are at the expected standard for maths, we launched our Make it Count Action Plan to give our ...24 hours ago
- Government’s creative sector strategy released
The Government’s creative sector strategy is designed to increase Kiwis’ engagement with culture and creativity and to boost its economic contribution, Arts Minister Paul Goldsmith says. “Amplify has been released for public consultation and I encourage people to read the strategy and to share their feedback. “There’s an opportunity to ...1 day ago
- On-sold programme changes bring resolution to homeowners and taxpayers
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- Todd McClay to lead large trade mission to China
Trade and Agriculture Minister Todd McClay will lead a large trade delegation to the 7th annual China International Import Expo (CIIE) in Shanghai next week, followed by a visit to Guangzhou. This year, almost 70 New Zealand companies will participate in CIIE, to interact with over 3,400 exhibitors and 410,000 visitors. “This ...2 days ago
- New Charter to guarantee better access for hunting and fishing
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- Pou Whenua blessing honours Tongariro
A beautiful new Pou Whenua at the beginning of the Tongariro Alpine Crossing will introduce visitors to the sacred landscape they are entering, says Conservation Minister Tama Potaka. Mr Potaka attended a blessing for the specially carved Pou Whenua at Mangatepopo, at the start of the track on 1 November. ...4 days ago
- New members appointed to the NZTA Board
Transport Minister Simeon Brown has today announced two new appointments to the New Zealand Transport Agency (NZTA) Board. Mary-Anne Macleod and Mike Rudge have both been appointed as members for three-year terms commencing 1 November 2024 and ending 31 October 2027. “Transport is a critical part of our Government’s plan ...4 days ago
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Associate Health Minister David Seymour is welcoming Pharmac’s funding of oestradiol gel, following global shortages of oestradiol patches earlier this year. “I’m well aware of the stress caused by the global shortage earlier this year. At the time I said I was confident Pharmac was working hard to find a ...4 days ago
- Deputy Prime Minister visit to Australia
Foreign Minister and Racing Minister Winston Peters will visit Australia next week. “Australia is New Zealand’s closest partner, and we are pleased to make this second official visit there for 2024 following the first ever Foreign and Defence Ministers 2+2 Meeting between our two countries in Melbourne in January,” ...4 days ago
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Associate Health Minister with responsibility for Pharmac David Seymour is pleased to see further increased availability of medicines for Kiwis following the Government’s increased investment in Pharmac. “Pharmac operates independently, but it must work within the budget constraints set by the Government,” says Mr Seymour. “When this Government assumed office, ...4 days ago
- New Zealand concludes high quality trade deal with the Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC)
New Zealand and the six-nation Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC) have concluded negotiations on a trade agreement that will open up significant opportunities for New Zealand exporters in the Gulf region, Minister for Trade and Agriculture Todd McClay announced from Doha today. Today’s announcement follows significant reengagement with the GCC following meetings ...5 days ago
- Government seeks views on remote court attendance
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Trade Minister Todd McClay will hold trade discussions with Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC) trade ministers in Doha this week. Minister McClay will meet with all six GCC Trade Ministers, as well as the GCC Secretary General. “This will be my seventh visit to the region this year including two Ministerial ...6 days ago
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Associate Education Minister David Seymour says that the Education Review Office’s (ERO) timely report on chronic school absence released today is further evidence of a truancy crisis. “Chronic absence has doubled since 2015. This report reinforces that action is needed to ensure this generation reaches its full potential,” says Associate ...6 days ago
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Associate Justice Minister Nicole McKee welcomes BusinessNZ’s report which addresses reducing the compliance burden on small businesses. “The challenges outlined in the report released today echo many of the concerns I have heard from businesses, which have informed my Anti Money Laundering/Countering Financing Terrorism (AML/CFT) priorities,” she says. “I have ...1 week ago
- Mangamuka Gorge opening in time for Christmas
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- Trusted building professionals able to self-certify
The Government is proposing further significant action to reform the building and construction sector to support more affordable homes and a stronger economy, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says. “If we want to grow the economy, lift incomes, create jobs and build more affordable, quality homes we need a ...1 week ago
- New appointments to the TEC board
Dr Alan Bollard CNZM and Mr Bharat Guha have been appointed to the Tertiary Education Commission (TEC) board, Tertiary Education and Skills Minister Penny Simmonds says. “I would like to welcome the two new members joining the TEC board,” Ms Simmonds says. “Dr Alan Bollard CNZM is an experienced public ...1 week ago
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Fast tracking applications for registration by eligible specialist doctors wanting to practice in New Zealand is in line with the Government’s push to improve the health outcomes for New Zealanders, Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says. This fast-track pathway applies to specialists trained in anaesthesia, dermatology, emergency medicine, general practice, ...1 week ago
- Address to Western Sydney University: Constitutional and Rule of Law challenges in current global en...
Tēnā koutou Nau mai haere mai ki tenei hui Thank you to Vice Chancellor Williams, and the University of Western Sydney, for inviting me to speak today. I speak to you today in my capacity as Attorney-General – the New Zealand Crown’s Senior Law Officer. In this capacity, I serve ...1 week ago
- Security advice for start-ups welcomed
Minister responsible for the security and intelligence agencies Judith Collins has welcomed new guidance that aims to protect New Zealand’s start-up and emerging technology sector from the threat of economic espionage. “We are a nation well-known for our ingenuity, and our willingness to openly collaborate in the spirit of enterprise ...1 week ago
- Funding support to strengthen frontline volunteer service organisations
The Government has approved $23.1 million for four critical frontline volunteer service organisations to replace storm-damaged assets and provide training and equipment to improve New Zealand’s response to future emergency events, Transport Minister Simeon Brown and Associate Transport Minister Matt Doocey says. $14.6 million for Surf Life Saving New ...1 week ago
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Resources Minister Shane Jones will speak at Australia's largest annual mining event in Sydney this week to mark New Zealand’s return to the international industry stage. Mr Jones will attend the International Mining and Resources Conference (IMARC) where he will update the sector’s most influential players on the work the ...1 week ago
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- Police to increase presence on Auckland public transport
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- Government funds helicopter replacements
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English maintained his look of innocence as the taser-microphone got closer and closer to his Leader’s neck.
Both Key and English maintained their composure following the reading of the Budget, but the stress took a terrible toll on Gerry Brownlee.
At least John and Bill have less wrinkles than the haggard Sue Bradford.Living the utopian lie does cause stress.
Oh, can YOU guys see her TOO?
Bill: “He is prone to over-promising. I’m his handler today.”
“Look you can’t see my lips move”
captcha: law debats
Suddenly Calvin realised that all the grown-ups could see Hobbes after all.
I’m going down in history.
With this dickhead, whoopee.
Way down.
down down down downdy downdy doo-doo dee-dum
dumpty-dumpty whoopdee doo whatsforlunchIfeelikesomethingfishy
hopethey’vegotsomeofthatsmokedfishpieagain
And-nasty trollshite there serpico, suits you –
take a look at what this governing malarky is doing to
the Minister of Tourism and his deputy, no utopia available to them and
their industrially farmed bacon and egg lifestyle isn’t doing them any
favours neither.
“God and I do not believe in condoms, but I sure wish one had been used a few decades ago!” muttered William the Pretender.
An interview
Michael Cullen wondered whether it was an appropriate time to take of his Bill English disguise.
As Bill took a moment to ponder why his own leadership aspirations had gone so horribly wrong, a small tear welled in the corner of his eye.
‘You right Bill’ said John as he glanced over his shoulder, with a tone half question, half command.
‘Yep, right Boss. Nothing. Bit of dust in the old eye’.
Still can’t get a clear shot
“He can smirk now,” thought Bill,”But just wait until next week when he has explain why he lied. At least I’ve still got Crosby and Textor backing me.”
When even the old shirt-poking-out-of-the-fly trick failed to attract the slightest attention, Bill’s good eye narrowed ominously on his rival’s neck…..
John’s misanthropy is on display as he squares of with the media in his fuck you, cerulean blue tie. Bill ponders “if only politics were a fashion contest i’d screw that banker like a hollow man”.
Roger Nome .. NZ’s answer to queer eye for the straight guy ?
“Damn, that phaser isn’t working. The bloke with the funny ears must have sold me a dud.”
Dr Strangelove , I presume