Caption contest
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5:00 pm, November 27th, 2014 - 116 comments
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A new Child Protection Investigation Unit is being established to ensure the safety and wellbeing of children in care, Minister for Children Karen Chhour says. âThe report released by the Royal Commission into abuse in state care shows us all the risk of not acting immediately when there are serious ...2 days ago - Speech at United States Business Summit 2024
Ka nui te mihi kia koutou. Ka mihi ki te mana whenua ko NgÄti WhÄtua ĆrÄkei. Kia ora and good morning everyone. Thank you Fran and Simon for inviting me here today, and importantly your leadership of this forum over several years now. I want to acknowledge David Gehrenbeck, Deputy ...2 days ago
- Record number of submissions received on granny flat proposal
Nearly 2,000 submissions have been received on the Governmentâs proposals aimed at making it easier to build a granny flat of up to 60 square metres without a resource or building consent, RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop and Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk say. âThis is the highest number ...2 days ago
- District Court Judge appointed
Attorney-General Judith Collins today announced the appointment of Rebecca Guthrie as a District Court Judge. Judge Guthrie was admitted to the bar in 1997 following her graduation from the University of Canterbury in 1996 (LLB, BA). She commenced her legal career in Hastings in 1997 before moving to London in ...2 days ago
- Appointments strengthen Predator Free 2050
The latest Predator Free 2050 Board appointments will help to strengthen biodiversity efforts across Aotearoa New Zealand, Conservation Minister Tama Potaka says. Mr Potaka today announced two appointments to the Board of Directors of Predator Free 2050 Limited, a key player in the wider Predator Free 2050 Programme. âThe Predator ...3 days ago
- New facility in Christchurch will improve the lives of young New Zealanders
Mental Health Minister Matt Doocey today opened Kahurangi, an innovative and much-needed facility for Canterburyâs Child, Adolescent, and Family Mental Health Services. âThe new state of the art outpatient facility opened today will be a gamechanger for the way mental health is delivered for young people in Canterbury,â says Mr ...3 days ago
- Driver safety screens to be installed on Auckland buses
Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed news from the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) that bus driver protection screens will be installed across Aucklandâs bus fleet by 2026.âThe Government is committed to improving the safety of working environments for bus drivers, and Budget 2024 allocated $15 million of Crown funding over ...3 days ago
- Government action provides Southland farmers more time to meet plan requirements
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- Bill reaffirms Governmentâs commitment to crack down on serious youth offending
The Oranga Tamariki (Responding to Serious Youth Offending) Bill had its first reading at Parliament today. The Bill reaffirms the Governmentâs commitment to crack down on serious youth offending, Minister for Children Karen Chhour says. âIn recent years we have seen an unacceptable spike in youth offending. âThis Bill makes ...3 days ago
- Critical milestones for earthquake buildings review
Fairer, more sensible rules about managing earthquake risks are a step closer with the passing of legislation and the appointment of an independent chair to provide expert advice, Minister for Building and Construction Chris Penk says. âThe Government is committed to reinvigorating our cities and regions to support economic growth, ...3 days ago
- State of the art radiology machine for Auckland
People in Northland and Auckland will benefit from a new machine for cancer treatment installed at the Regional Cancer and Blood Service at Auckland City Hospital. The MV5 linear accelerator, or LINAC machine, officially opened today targets cancer tumours with pinpoint accuracy. Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says this new, ...3 days ago
- Foreign Minister to visit Europe
Deputy Prime Minister and Foreign Minister Winston Peters will travel to Europe for high-level talks with France, Germany and the United Kingdom next week. "Since taking office almost a year ago, the Coalition Government has emphasised the importance we place on New Zealand's traditional and likeminded diplomatic and ...3 days ago
- First arrests made under gang patch ban
Police have made their first arrests under the new gang patch legislation, with two gang members arrested, says Police Minister Mark Mitchell. âJust before 11 this morning, Police in Wairoa apprehended a gang member for wearing a patch to the supermarket. He has been arrested and will now face enforcement ...3 days ago
- Better support for victims of sexual violence
The Government is proposing two major changes to name suppression laws that will put the views of victims of sexual violence first, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. âWe are committed to restoring law and order and these two proposed changes will help ensure the victims of crime are put at ...3 days ago
- Government moving forward with Regional Deals
Cabinet has agreed to invite all regions to submit proposals for Regional Deals between central and local government that drive economic growth and deliver the infrastructure our country needs, Local Government Minister Simeon Brown and Infrastructure Minister Chris Bishop say. Inviting all regions to propose a Regional Deal that boosts ...3 days ago
- MSA pilot participant update
One of the ten young men selected to participate in the Military-Style Academy Pilot has allegedly reoffended. Childrenâs Minister Karen Chhour is disappointed but says it would be naĂŻve to think that none of these young men would reoffend. âIâm saddened that this young person has not taken this opportunity ...3 days ago
- Fighting for Kiwis in Trade
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Associate Education Minister David Seymour says that school attendance is continuing to rise. In Term 3 of 2024 51.3 per cent of students attended school regularly, an increase of 5.3 percentage points from 46 per cent in Term 3 of 2023. âThis Government has prioritised student attendance and it is ...4 days ago
- Improving the lives of young New Zealanders
Ensuring New Zealand is the best place in the world for children and young people is the vision at the heart of the Governmentâs new Child and Youth Strategy, Child Poverty Reduction Minister Louise Upston says. âChildhood represents a huge opportunity to set people on a positive path towards living ...4 days ago
- Government continues work to reinstate livestock exports by sea
The Government is reinstating the trade of livestock exports by sea while ensuring the highest standards of animal welfare, says Associate Minister of Agriculture Andrew Hoggard.âThe Government will introduce legislation changes to reinstate the trade, enhance oversight, and strengthen requirements for exporters to identify risks and manage the welfare of ...4 days ago
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TÄnÄ koutou katoa â it is a pleasure to be here today. I would like to begin by acknowledging the important leadership role you all play in ensuring a quality health system New Zealanders can trust. There is enormous clinical expertise in this room covering a wide range of disciplines. ...4 days ago
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TÄnÄ koutou katoa. Mr President, Excellencies, Delegates. New Zealand, and all nations represented here today, are already dealing with the impacts of climate change. Our households, businesses, and economies are bearing the costs of its effects. The choices we make now will shape the severity of these impacts for generations ...5 days ago
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The Government has released its second Quarterly Investment Report (QIR) which shows substantial work still to be done by agencies to improve investment reporting and meet the Governmentâs expectations, Infrastructure and Acting Finance Minister Chris Bishop says. âNew Zealand has significant infrastructure and investment needs. The Government is determined to get ...5 days ago
- New Zealand supporting loss and damage fund
Climate Change Minister Simon Watts announced New Zealand will contribute NZ$10 million to the new Fund for Responding to Loss and Damage while at the annual United Nations Climate Change Conference (COP29) in Baku, Azerbaijan. âNew Zealand is joining the global effort to address the significant challenge of responding to ...5 days ago
- Gang crackdown begins at stroke of midnight
The free ride for gangs is over when the clock strikes midnight tonight, with tough new laws officially coming into effect, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith and Police Minister Mark Mitchell say. âGang patches will no longer be able to be worn in public. To earn the right to wear a ...5 days ago
- LGFA increases borrowing capacity to support high growth councils
The Government is welcoming the decision by the Local Government Funding Agency to increase access to financing tools for fast growing councils to support greater investment in critical infrastructure, Local Government Minister Simeon Brown says.âCommunities across the country are facing an infrastructure deficit and significant population growth is projected in ...5 days ago
- Temporary Traffic Management costs revealed
The Government has revealed that over the past three years, the New Zealand Transport Agency (NZTA) has spent an eyewatering $786 million of taxpayersâ money on road cones and temporary traffic management (TTM), Transport Minister Simeon Brown says.âWhen I became Minister, I was surprised to learn that that NZTA did ...5 days ago
- Jurisdiction of Disputes Tribunal to double
Legislation that will double the financial jurisdiction of the Disputes Tribunal from $30,000 to $60,000 has passed first reading in Parliament today, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith. âWe need to improve court timeliness and access to justice so that Kiwis and get on with their lives. Court delays affect everyone, the ...5 days ago
- Protecting New Zealand from foreign interference
Legislation that will specifically criminalise foreign interference and strengthen espionage offences has passed first reading in Parliament today, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. âIt is normal and appropriate for states to interact and work to influence one another. This encourages cooperation and can have mutually beneficial outcomes. âHowever, the reality ...5 days ago
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Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed news that the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) Board has approved funding towards pre-implementation and early works on the State Highway 1 (SH1) Belfast to Pegasus Motorway and Woodend Bypass Road of National Significance (RoNS). âReaching this significant milestone is a reflection of our Governmentâs ...5 days ago
- Health survey results to help drive change
Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says findings from the annual Health Survey highlight the need to continue driving better health outcomes for New Zealanders. The New Zealand Health Survey is an annual snapshot of key metrics measured from July 2023 â July 2024. Findings released this morning include: In 2023/24, ...5 days ago
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A renewed effort to get people to quit smoking will build on what has worked to date and target the groups who most need support, Associate Health Minister Casey Costello said today. âThe latest New Zealand Health Survey results show the daily smoking rate at 6.9 per cent and we ...5 days ago
- New diplomatic appointments
Foreign Affairs Minister Winston Peters has announced four new diplomatic appointments. âOur diplomats play an important role in ensuring New Zealandâs interests are maintained and enhanced across the world,â Mr Peters says. âIt is a pleasure to announce the appointment of these senior diplomats from the Ministry of Foreign ...6 days ago
- Next steps for Regulatory Standards Bill
Regulation Minister David Seymour has today announced the next steps in the Governmentâs plan improve the quality of regulation by opening consultation on a proposed Regulatory Standards Bill. âNew Zealand's low wages can be blamed on low productivity, and low productivity can be blamed on poor regulation,â says Mr Seymour. ...6 days ago
- Red Tape Tipline goes live
Minister for Regulation David Seymour has today announced that the Ministry for Regulationâs Red Tape Tipline is now live. âWe want to hear about your red tape horror stories. From today, New Zealanders will have a say on how they are regulated through an online portal,â says Mr Seymour. The ...6 days ago
- Youth Parliament 2025 announced
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- Police stats show promising change
After nearly a year in Government, Kiwis have seen significant change across law and order with promising early results shown across some Police statistics, says Police Minister Mark Mitchell. âIn August 2023, I told New Zealanders that if they had not started to see a change in public safety within ...6 days ago
- Better coordination of anti-scam efforts
With the launch of Fraud Awareness Week, the Government is committing to new coordination efforts across industry and government to combat online scams, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly says. âOnline financial scams are a growing problem for New Zealand. New data released today shows that Kiwis lost nearly ...6 days ago
- Minister to consider 7AA select committee report
Minister for Children Karen Chhour will consider the recommendations made by the Social Services and Community Committee in its report back to Parliament on the Oranga Tamariki (Repeal of Section 7AA) Amendment Bill. âI want to thank the people who made submissions and those who appeared before the committee in ...7 days ago
- Defence Minister to attend ASEAN meeting
Defence Minister Judith Collins will this week attend the Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN) Defence Ministersâ Meeting-Plus in Vientiane, Laos. âWe need to take every opportunity to engage with our international partners, given the increasingly unstable geo-political situation,â Ms Collins says. âNew Zealand has a long-standing commitment to this ...7 days ago
- View from The Hill: Albanese government crumples on misinformation bill and gambling advertising
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michelle Grattan, Professorial Fellow, University of Canberra âBig Techâ is celebrating one victory over the Albanese government, but is set to lose on another front. Ahead of the final parliamentary sitting week for 2024, the government has not just withdrawn its ...47 minutes ago - ‘I was so scared’: Abused as children, incacerated as adults
Former inmates are speaking out to demand better mental health care for those currently imprisoned. ...1 hour ago - Remaining members of âBali nineâ set for repatriation, with conditions
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- COP 29: Carbon credit trading scheme criticised as ‘get out of jail free card’
The deal reached in the final hours of COP29 has been criticised as a free pass for countries to slack off on efforts to reduce emissions at home. ...3 hours ago
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The deal reached in the final hours of COP29 has been criticised as a free pass for countries to slack off on efforts to reduce emissions at home. ...3 hours ago
- Protest photographer John Miller records HÄ«koi mĆ te Tiriti with his historic lensÂ
RNZ News For almost six decades photographer John Miller (NgÄpuhi) has been a protest photographer in Aotearoa New Zealand. From his first photographs of an anti-Vietnam War protest on Aucklandâs Albert Street as a high school student in 1967, to HÄ«koi mĆ te Tiriti last week, Miller has focused much ...4 hours ago
-
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Jacqueline Peel, Director, Melbourne Climate Futures, The University of Melbourne The petroleum-laden dust has settled on this yearâs United Nations climate summit, COP29, held over the past fortnight in Baku, Azerbaijan. Climate scientists, leaders, lobbyists and delegates are heading for home. ...5 hours ago
- All Blacks end of year tour: What we learned
Analysis - There's plenty to talk about including TJ Perenara's statement during the haka, Jamie Wall writes. ...10 hours ago
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Green MP Benjamin Doyle has joined the 54th Parliament a year into its term. Their maiden statement emphasised the need for radical love. ...14 hours ago
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Small island and vulnerable nations walked out of climate finance negotiations on Saturday afternoon in Baku, Azerbaijan, protesting a process they say excluded their participation and views.The COP29 talks are now on the edge of collapse on the crucial issue of a new global finance goal, as the summit has ...16 hours ago - HÄ«koi hats: Why are so many people wearing red berets?
For the march to Parliament, many young wahine donned a red beret. It's a pĆtae steeped in history and symbolism. ...17 hours ago
- An Ode to .. Erica Stanford
Mean Girl HighSchool swot Jan Tinetti hurries to classAs the bell rings.Slouching against the lockers,Mean Girl Erica lies in waitWith her surly gang of Teen Delinquents.Erica whispers somethingAnd leers horribly at Jan at she scurries past.Janâs lip trembles,And a hot tear rolls down her face.The Meanies all cackle with gleeAnd ...18 hours ago
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Over nine days, rangatahi and veterans of past hīkoi walked shoulder-to-shoulder to take their message to Parliament. Ella Stewart and Cole Eastham-Farrelly were there. ...1 day ago - Concern Regarding Inconsistent Designation Of Terrorist Organizations
While it is important to maintain strong alliances, it is equally crucial to uphold our Kiwi values of fairness and justice. New Zealand has always prided itself on its commitment to equality and human rights. ...1 day ago
- New Zealand Governmentâs Racially Divisive Treaty Principles Bill Passes First Reading
By voting for the bill and allowing it to proceed to the select committee, the coalition parties are enabling ACTâan extremely unpopular party that received just 8.6 percent in the 2023 electionâto dominate political discourse, posturing as the party of ...1 day ago
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RNZ Pacific Fijiâs Home Affairs and Immigration Minister Pio Tikoduadua has ordered an inquiry into the âpossible unauthorised issuance of passportsâ by immigration staff and âoffered to step aside temporarily from roleâ. In a statement on Thursday night, Tikoduadua said the passports in question were issued to the children of ...1 day ago
- A 4.45 billion-year-old crystal from Mars reveals the planet had water from the beginning
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Aaron J. Cavosie, Senior lecturer, School of Earth and Planetary Sciences, Curtin University JPL-Caltech/NASA Water is ubiquitous on Earth â about 70% of Earthâs surface is covered by the stuff. Water is in the air, on the surface and inside rocks. ...2 days ago
- COP29 summit runs overtime as finance talks falter over âinsultâ
“Is it a joke?”That’s what Bolivian diplomat Diego Balanza said on Wednesday in Baku, Azerbaijan, when asked by a reporter about the possibility of the new global climate finance goal (the NCQG) landing at just US$200 billion a year. Developing countries have been pushing for a number in the trillions, ...2 days ago
- The Weekend: What would you march for?
Madeleine Chapman reflects on the week that was. When I was a junior writer at The Spinoff, Simon Wilson joined the team as Auckland editor. Heâd been the editor of Metro for many years and was easily the most experienced journalist in the room. So if we both happened to ...2 days ago - Celebrating families who give the ultimate gift
Amy Ng-Thomson’s first time walking up One Tree Hill/Maungakiekie was six months after a lung transplant.“It was a beautiful March day, and I always do it in March now⊠seeing the blue skies, the views, feeling the breeze, I get the sense that she’s with me every time I go ...2 days ago
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Gordon was meant to be with him on that hike. It wasnât high mountain stuff, but it was rugged, and itâs always sensible to have a companion when that far into the back country. Theyâd planned to do it in two days and knew each otherâs capabilities. But Gordon got ...2 days ago
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The veteran reviewer takes us through her life in television, including the allure of property shows, the crushing end of Campbell Live, and the review that got the most hate mail. Having reviewed television for The Listener for over three decades, award-winning critic Diana Wichtel has chronicled the medium through ...2 days ago
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Of all the stereotypes about poets, perhaps the most enduring cliche is that poets canât drive. But what evidence do we have to back that up? A non-driving poet attempts to find out the truth. Bob Dylan said it. Jo Shapcott said it. Wendy Cope said it. Martin Amis said it, ...2 days ago
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The latest in a semi-regular series that breaks down a poem to analyse what itâs really trying to tell us. Iâve been interested in Richard von Sturmerâs work since I saw him perform at Wellingtonâs LitCrawl years ago. He was compelling, using his whole body to thump out a poem, ...2 days ago
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The server will be getting hardware changes this evening starting at 10pm NZDT.
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Natzional’s last stand.
DriftWood.
Actually: adriftwood
King Canute tries to keep the land back.
On the beach redux
“Hear Ye, lowly molluscs and other sub-tidal entities….”
Tide goes out on National.
who is it..?
National – turning our backs to climate change.
woody pitches for a re-make of ‘the piano’..
..to be called ‘the lectern’…
Civil Defense finds Woodhouses’s speeches more effective than sirens at clearing beaches in an emergency
Potato lol -1000
this is the economic boat..
..that key/national promised to float…
our airforce..doing live-ammunition exercises…
‘woody’ recreates his ancestors arrival in nz..
..(i understand they brought nz’s first ever lectern with them..)
woody unveils groundbreaking new national party economic-initiative..
..the solar-powered/amphibious-lectern…
speaking to reporters woody extolled the export-possibilities of this ‘exciting’ new initiative..
..saying it will become de riguer for all politicians/captains-of-industry to have one..
..woody says that on a calm day..he pops over to waiheke on his..
..or he cruises the beaches of auckland..
..and can give speeches to both passing-craft..and beachgoers..
..’you can always feel secure’..said woody..’your genitals are always covered/protected..
..no more standing there feeling vulnerable/exposed/naked as you preach to the peasants..
..you just grab the no-slip grips on the poly-lectern..knowing yr family-jewels are protected on three sides’..
And now for something completely different
lol
“No.1: The Larch.”
Still lolling đ
lol also
Yep absolute LOL …
“I’m the king of the world!!”
At last St Woody, inspired by desperation, went down to the sea-shore, where the river runs into the sea, and having placed himself on a bank between the river and the sea, he began to speak to the fishes as if Woger had sent him to preach to them, and said: “Listen to the word of Woger, O ye fishes of the sea and of the river, and you rancid cetaceans, seeing that honest people and hard working people refuse to do so.”
All washed up.
tsunami? no its a left wing conspiracy i tell ya!
We shall go on to the end. We shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength on the air, we shall sell our islands, whatever the cost may be. We shall sell them on the beaches, we shall sell them on the landing grounds, we shall sell them in the fields and in the streets, we shall sell them in the hills; we shall surrender everything. For money.
To all of my supporters, gathered here today I say
John Key had a dream…
And here I am!
“There’s a woman down the end with a couple of kids and a bucket. Perhaps she wants to listen to me talk about how our new employment laws will help workers enjoy their lives ?”
That ladywith a bucket – any toheroa you find is Crown property!
woody suddenly realises..that for him..
..the tide will never come in..
“Ladies and gentlemen, in this lot we have the foreshore and seabed going for steal. Shall we commence the bidding! “
“Anyone makes a joke about John Key and a whale stranding and I’m off”
or (for the westie surfers): keyhole obscured by arsehole.
Lol
Galoot succeeds. The waves retreat under the crushing weight of his rhetoric!
âAll the inhabitants of the world should know that the power of kings is vain and trivial, and that none is worthy the name of king but He whose command the heaven, earth and sea obey by eternal lawsâ
As we await this fleet of China!s ships,we can say we welcome them,we are now approaching a new venture in our lands development,reaching out to a culture like ours, innovative,and not afraid to take risks.We look forward to doing business with this dynamic culture.
Who has the contract to make the gumboots,whats his name,Sushi,Sushi,no its HOE.
woody pitches for a (low-cost) remake of ‘all the presidents’ men’..
..starring him and his mate in the hat…
Nationals latest campaign to prove that they are in touch with ‘real New Zealanders’.
Michael Woodhouse says ” I like to go down and spend the day at the beach just like everybody else”.
If a National Minister speaks to an empty beach who will hold him to account?
Police Minister launches new version of cardboard cutout cop. Guaranteed for sea-level rises of up to 30cm.
And now for the next asset sale, new zealands forshore.
what do hear for an opening bid, who will start off with a bid of 5 billion?
Latest asset sale? New Zealand for sure!
in an effort to keep flights to the provinces I’m proud to call this new runway open, take it away captain
I always practice my speeches on the beach. No hecklers. And I write my promises out on the sand – transparent for all to see. There they are in black and white, or rather light brown, or even in fifty shades of grey heh heh my little joke, and anyone can come and look at them before the tide comes in. But then though they are hidden from the public, they lie in my heart.
National is constructing an ark to survive climate change, starting with the poop deck.
@Yeah
+1
Cops to target all lecterns this summer.
Police say there will be a no lectern tolerance level this summer. However, the evaluation couldn’t confirm the statistical significance of a lectern decreases because of the small numbers involved.
Prime N Z beachfront for sale to the highest bidder! Be quick, won’t last long!
Where do I tie up the Donkey!
Thanks for coming mum.
You keep dissing the Key Man, and all you commies will be swimming with the fishes.
More rubbish washes up on beach
…. ’cause John told me to…
“Minister releases new sections for affordable housing initiative”
Hehe
“F***. I shouldn’t have mentioned ebola.”
First hot-air powered hovercraft crosses Tasman
lolz much.
Michael’s press conference didn’t go as planned once the media recieved a text that one of ‘The Block’ contestants was spotted in Pak’N’Save.
From his twitter account, Woodlouse loves photo ops with sporting celebs and hobnobbing around the world on the taxpayers dime. Never heard of him til now. The Nats also enjoyed endorsements by famous All Blacks ON ELECTION DAY.
Labour aren’t the only ones who can have a Foreshore and Seabed Act.
“We must build but we must build surely.”
Party Political Beach-
“NZ beaches go under the hammer in latest government asset sale”.
Of course I can order everyone out of the water and off the beach for a couple of hoiurs, for a photo-op …. don;t you know I am?
(no)
There was Woody giving an otherwise dull speech to the House – when suddenly the PM’s Infinite Improbability Generator kicked in.
Redlogix
+1
As he drifted into the afterlife, Dobby imagined he was giving a speech on the desolate beach that would be his ending…
In order for the announcement of this new law to be legally binding it must be made on sovereign New Zealand owned soil. We are told due to a small error on a land sales document that this small section we have placed this stage on is the last piece of it left in New Zealand.
Ouch!
Woodhouse floundering!
Trying out Nationals new strategy of avoiding whaleoil tsunami!
Imbeachment
Clever clogs
First sea trial for Nationals new life raft,does not go well for junior minister.
“Auckland traffic gridlock? Where? It’s just another dirty left-wing conspiracy”.
the new minister for flotsom and jetsam speaks to his constituency..
nationals’ media-mavens come up with yet another absolutely brilliant idea…
woody has an unusual hobby…
woodys’ scrapbook:..
..what i did on my hols…
very poor turnout for the woody fanclub beach-day…
woody shows off his new beach-suit…
when woody gets all existential and angsty…
..he likes to take one of his favourite lecterns to the beach..
..so they can chill-out together…
man in hat:..
‘it’s been three hours minister…i don’t think anyones’ coming’..
minister waits for mr whippy van..
… and what’s more, JK would never bend over for CS.
minister releases policy on global warming, population explosion and sea level rise.
‘We have four of these, which proves we take seriously our response capability to any deep sea oil spill”.
That made me laugh you got my vote. đ
” The government has signed a contract with the Hyundai ship building yard in Ulsan, South Korea to have them built. The vessels will be delivered in the first quarter of the new year.
Two will be docked and utilized from Port Taranaki while the third and fourth will be shared between the East Coast of the North Is and the maritime jurisdictions of the Canterbury and Deep South basin’s.”
Minister issues apology for Climate Change policy.
Government announces new spying laws, ” The local seals have nothing to fear”
Government announces new spying laws, ” The local seals have nothing to fear”, the Minister said.
Only Navy Seals, the Minister further advised.
Phil j a series of bonny motes!
” USA Double Agent seeks asylum in Tolega Bay “
“Government Minister announces further DOC restructuring”
” Sex On The Beach is now illegal under new terrorist law “
“Man arrested for impersonating a Government Minister in a public place”
Newsflash!
” Minister declares leadership coup! “
…And the Floating Lectern Cup is still NZ’s cup. Eat that Jimmy Spithill.
….. and now I will I dig a hole in the sand and do my ostrich impersonation…..
Johns Keys flunky announces and reviews the new increased defense forces
New Zealands olympic bobsleigh unveiled
Nationals spokesman, announces new site of shallow graves for all the abandoned national policies
the intensive search for Paula Bennet fails
New Zealands new aircraft carrier had a few subtle flaws
National Flunkey, announces Life is a beach yet under National Life is a *********!
National Supporter shows off his ill gotten Ikea Lectern Gains in NZ Black Friday Sale
Aussie Invasion repulsed!
Anyone that finds the buried ego of Pete George,,,,,will be allowed to exit the country……
Santas sleigh now privatised and flogged off to highest bidder!
Ok, the bidding is currently at $10 dollars for complete drilling rights…….any other offers……going goingggggggggg.
I ordered a hovercraft…….send this back to amazon
GP spokesman, shows off new membership
At Davos In Switzerland, climate change denier, announces G20 to think about 0.9 % cut in co2 emissions
The prime minister pledged a new police vessel before the end of the year and despite a funding shortfall I am proud to launch this raft today.
And just up on the beach is the Crematorium thats why no one is here
Government unveils plans to save manufacturing and rescue the economy – Ladies and Gentlmen, introducing the wooden segway.