Caption contest
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5:00 pm, November 27th, 2014 - 116 comments
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- Release: More accountability for preventable workplace deaths this Workersâ Memorial DayLabour is calling for more accountability for preventable workplace deaths because everybody who goes to work deserves to come home safely. ...1 week ago
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- Release: Labour supports urgent changes to emergency management systemLabour welcomes the release of the report into the North Island weather events and looks forward to working with the Government to ensure that New Zealand is as prepared as it can be for the next natural disaster. ...2 weeks ago
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- Release: Three strikes law political posturing of worst kindThe Government is bringing back a law that has little evidential backing just to look tough, Labour justice spokesperson Duncan Webb said. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Government cuts unbelievably target child exploitation, violent extremism, ports and airpor...Some of our countryâs most important work, stopping the sexual exploitation of children and violent extremism could go along with staff on the frontline at ports and airports. ...2 weeks ago
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- Release: Environmental protection vital, not âonerousâThe Governmentâs Fast Track Approvals Bill will give projects such as new coal mines a âget out of jail freeâ card to wreak havoc on the environment, Labour Leader Chris Hipkins said today. ...2 weeks ago
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- Release: Govt cuts doctors and nurses in hiring freezeCuts to frontline hospital staff are not only a broken election promise, it shows the reckless tax cuts have well and truly hit the frontline of the health system, says Labour Health spokesperson Ayesha Verrall. ...2 weeks ago
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- Release: Dark day for Kiwi kids as a third of Govt cuts affect themNews that 1000 jobs at the Ministry of Education and Oranga Tamariki could go is devastating for future generations of New Zealanders. ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Alarm as Government signals further blow to school lunchesMore essential jobs could be on the chopping block, this time Ministry of Education staff on the school lunches team are set to find out whether they're in line to lose their jobs. ...3 weeks ago
- Oranga Tamariki cuts commit tamariki to state abuseTe PÄti MÄori is disgusted at the confirmation that hundreds are set to lose their jobs at Oranga Tamariki, and the disestablishment of the Treaty Response Unit. âThis act of absolute carelessness and out of touch decision making is committing tamariki to state abuse.â Said Te PÄti MÄori Oranga Tamariki ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Quick, submit â stop Govtâs dodgy approvals billThe Government is trying to bring in a law that will allow Ministers to cut corners and kill off native species, Labour environment spokesperson Rachel Brooking said. ...3 weeks ago
- Government throws coal on the climate crisis fireThe Governmentâs policy announced today to ease consenting for coal mining will have a lasting impact across generations. ...3 weeks ago
- Agreement delivers Local Water Done Well for Auckland
The Government has delivered on its election promise to provide a financially sustainable model for Auckland under its Local Water Done Well plan. The plan, which has been unanimously endorsed by Auckland Councilâs Governing Body, will see Aucklanders avoid the previously projected 25.8 per cent water rates increases while retaining ...23 hours ago - Gaza and the Pacific on the agenda with GermanyForeign Minister Winston Peters discussed the need for an immediate ceasefire in Gaza, and enhanced cooperation in the Pacific with German Foreign Minister Annalena Baerbock during her first official visit to New Zealand today.  "New Zealand and Germany enjoy shared interests and values, including the rule of law, democracy, respect for the international system ...2 days ago
- Decision allows for housing growth in Western Bay of PlentyThe Minister Responsible for RMA Reform, Chris Bishop today released his decision on four recommendations referred to him by the Western Bay of Plenty District Council, opening the door to housing growth in the area. The Councilâs Plan Change 92 allows more homes to be built in existing and new ...3 days ago
- Speech to New Zealand China CouncilThank you, John McKinnon and the New Zealand China Council for the invitation to speak to you today.  Thank you too, all members of the China Council. Your effort has played an essential role in helping to build, shape, and grow a balanced and resilient relationship between our two ...3 days ago
- Modern insurance law will protect Kiwi householdsThe Government is modernising insurance law to better protect Kiwis and provide security in the event of a disaster, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly announced today. âThese reforms are long overdue. New Zealandâs insurance law is complicated and dated, some of which is more than 100 years old. ...4 days ago
- Government recommits to equal payThe coalition Government is refreshing its approach to supporting pay equity claims as time-limited funding for the Pay Equity Taskforce comes to an end, Public Service Minister Nicola Willis says. âThree years ago, the then-government introduced changes to the Equal Pay Act to support pay equity bargaining. The changes were ...4 days ago
- Transforming how our children learn to readStructured literacy will change the way New Zealand children learn to read - improving achievement and setting students up for success, Education Minister Erica Stanford says. âBeing able to read and write is a fundamental life skill that too many young people are missing out on. Recent data shows that ...4 days ago
- NZ not backing down in Canada dairy disputeTrade Minister Todd McClay says Canadaâs refusal to comply in full with a CPTPP trade dispute ruling in our favour over dairy trade is cynical and New Zealand has no intention of backing down. Mr McClay said he has asked for urgent legal advice in respect of our ânext moveâ ...4 days ago
- Stronger oversight for our most vulnerable childrenThe rights of our children and young people will be enhanced by changes the coalition Government will make to strengthen oversight of the Oranga Tamariki system, including restoring a single Childrenâs Commissioner. âThe Government is committed to delivering better public services that care for our most at-risk young people and ...4 days ago
- Streamlining Building Consent ChangesThe Government is making it easier for minor changes to be made to a building consent so building a home is easier and more affordable, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says.    âThe coalition Government is focused on making it easier and cheaper to build homes so we can ...4 days ago
- Minister acknowledges passing of Sir Robert Martin (KNZM)New Zealand lost a true legend when internationally renowned disability advocate Sir Robert Martin (KNZM) passed away at his home in Whanganui last night, Disabilities Issues Minister Louise Upston says. âOur Governmentâs thoughts are with his wife Lynda, family and community, those he has worked with, the disability community in ...5 days ago
- Speech to New Zealand Institute of International Affairs, Parliament â Annual Lecture: Challenges ...Good evening â  Before discussing the challenges and opportunities facing New Zealandâs foreign policy, weâd like to first acknowledge the New Zealand Institute of International Affairs. You have contributed to debates about New Zealand foreign policy over a long period of time, and we thank you for hosting us. ...5 days ago
- Accelerating airport security linesFrom today, passengers travelling internationally from Auckland Airport will be able to keep laptops and liquids in their carry-on bags for security screening thanks to new technology, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. âCreating a more efficient and seamless travel experience is important for holidaymakers and businesses, enabling faster movement through ...5 days ago
- Community hui to talk about kina barrensPeople with an interest in the health of Northlandâs marine ecosystems are invited to a public meeting to discuss how to deal with kina barrens, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. Mr Jones will lead the discussion, which will take place on Friday, 10 May, at Awanui Hotel in ...5 days ago
- Kiwi exporters win as NZ-EU FTA enters into forceKiwi exporters are $100 million better off today with the NZ EU FTA entering into force says Trade Minister Todd McClay. âThis is all part of our plan to grow the economy. New Zealand's prosperity depends on international trade, making up 60 per cent of the countryâs total economic activity. ...5 days ago
- Mining resurgence a welcome signThere are heartening signs that the extractive sector is once again becoming an attractive prospect for investors and a source of economic prosperity for New Zealand, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. âThe beginnings of a resurgence in extractive industries are apparent in media reports of the sector in the past ...5 days ago
- Ć-RÄkau Remembrance Bill passes first readingThe return of the historic Ć-RÄkau battle site to the descendants of those who fought there moved one step closer today with the first reading of Te Pire mĆ Ć-RÄkau, Te Pae o Maumahara / The Ć-RÄkau Remembrance Bill. The Bill will entrust the 9.7-hectare battle site, five kilometres west ...6 days ago
- Government to boost public EV charging networkEnergy Minister Simeon Brown has announced 25 new high-speed EV charging hubs along key routes between major urban centres and outlined the Governmentâs plan to supercharge New Zealandâs EV infrastructure. The hubs will each have several chargers and be capable of charging at least four â and up to 10 ...6 days ago
- Residential Property Managers Bill to not progressThe coalition Government will not proceed with the previous Governmentâs plans to regulate residential property managers, Housing Minister Chris Bishop says. âI have written to the Chairperson of the Social Services and Community Committee to inform him that the Government does not intend to support the Residential Property Managers Bill ...6 days ago
- Independent review into disability support servicesThe Government has announced an independent review into the disability support system funded by the Ministry of Disabled People â Whaikaha. Disability Issues Minister Louise Upston says the review will look at what can be done to strengthen the long-term sustainability of Disability Support Services to provide disabled people and ...6 days ago
- Justice Minister updates UN on law & order planJustice Minister Paul Goldsmith has attended the Universal Periodic Review in Geneva and outlined the Governmentâs plan to restore law and order. âSpeaking to the United Nations Human Rights Council provided us with an opportunity to present New Zealandâs human rights progress, priorities, and challenges, while responding to issues and ...6 days ago
- Ending emergency housing motels in RotoruaThe Government and Rotorua Lakes Council are committed to working closely together to end the use of contracted emergency housing motels in Rotorua. Associate Minister of Housing (Social Housing) Tama Potaka says the Government remains committed to ending the long-term use of contracted emergency housing motels in Rotorua by the ...6 days ago
- Trade Minister travels to Riyadh, OECD, and DubaiTrade Minister Todd McClay heads overseas today for high-level trade talks in the Gulf region, and a key OECD meeting in Paris. Mr McClay will travel to Riyadh to meet with counterparts from Saudi Arabia and the Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC). âNew Zealandâs goods and services exports to the Gulf region ...7 days ago
- Education priorities focused on lifting achievementEducation Minister Erica Stanford has outlined six education priorities to deliver a world-leading education system that sets Kiwi kids up for future success. âIâm putting ambition, achievement and outcomes at the heart of our education system. I want every child to be inspired and engaged in their learning so they ...7 days ago
- NZTA App first step towards digital driver licenceThe new NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) App is a secure âone stop shopâ to provide the services drivers need, Transport Minister Simeon Brown and Digitising Government Minister Judith Collins say. âThe NZTA App will enable an easier way for Kiwis to pay for Vehicle Registration and Road User Charges (RUC). ...7 days ago
- Supporting whÄnau out of emergency housingWhÄnau with tamariki growing up in emergency housing motels will be prioritised for social housing starting this week, says Associate Housing Minister Tama Potaka. âGiving these whÄnau a better opportunity to build healthy stable lives for themselves and future generations is an essential part of the Governmentâs goal of reducing ...7 days ago
- Tribute to Dave O'SullivanRacing Minister Winston Peters has paid tribute to an icon of the industry with the recent passing of Dave OâSullivan (OBE). âOur sympathies are with the OâSullivan family with the sad news of Dave OâSullivanâs recent passing,â Mr Peters says. âHis contribution to racing, initially as a jockey and then ...7 days ago
- Speech – Eid al-FitrAssalaamu alaikum, greetings to you all. Eid Mubarak, everyone! I want to extend my warmest wishes to you and everyone celebrating this joyous occasion. It is a pleasure to be here. I have enjoyed Eid celebrations at Parliament before, but this is my first time joining you as the Minister ...7 days ago
- Government saves access to medicinesAssociate Health Minister David Seymour has announced Pharmacâs largest ever budget of $6.294 billion over four years, fixing a $1.774 billion fiscal cliff.  âAccess to medicines is a crucial part of many Kiwisâ lives. Weâve committed to a budget allocation of $1.774 billion over four years so Kiwis are ...1 week ago
- Pharmac Chair appointedHon Paula Bennett has been appointed as member and chair of the Pharmac board, Associate Health Minister David Seymour announced today. "Pharmac is a critical part of New Zealand's health system and plays a significant role in ensuring that Kiwis have the best possible access to medicines,â says Mr Seymour. ...1 week ago
- Taking action on Fetal Alcohol Spectrum DisorderHundreds of New Zealand families affected by Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) will benefit from a new Government focus on prevention and treatment, says Health Minister Dr Shane Reti. âWe know FASD is a leading cause of preventable intellectual and neurodevelopmental disability in New Zealand,â Dr Reti says. âEvery day, ...1 week ago
- New sports complex opens in KaikoheRegional Development Minister Shane Jones today attended the official opening of Kaikoheâs new $14.7 million sports complex. âThe completion of the Kaikohe Multi Sports Complex is a fantastic achievement for the Far North,â Mr Jones says. âThis facility not only fulfils a long-held dream for local athletes, but also creates ...1 week ago
- Diplomacy needed more than everForeign Minister Winston Petersâ engagements in TĂŒrkiye this week underlined the importance of diplomacy to meet growing global challenges.  âReturning to the Gallipoli Peninsula to represent New Zealand at Anzac commemorations was a sombre reminder of the critical importance of diplomacy for de-escalating conflicts and easing tensions,â Mr Peters ...1 week ago
- Anzac Commemorative Address, Buttes New British Cemetery BelgiumAmbassador Millar, Burgemeester, Vandepitte, Excellencies, military representatives, distinguished guests, ladies and gentlemen â good morning and welcome to this sacred Anzac Day dawn service. It is an honour to be here on behalf of the Government and people of New Zealand at Buttes New British Cemetery, Polygon Wood â a deeply ...1 week ago
- Anzac Commemorative Address â NZ National Service, Chunuk BairDistinguished guests - Â It is an honour to return once again to this site which, as the resting place for so many of our war-dead, has become a sacred place for generations of New Zealanders. Â Our presence here and at the other special spaces of Gallipoli is made ...2 weeks ago
- Anzac Commemorative Address â Dawn Service, Gallipoli, TĂŒrkiyeMai ia tawhiti pamamao, te moana nui a Kiwa, kua tae whakaiti mai matou, ki to koutou papa whenua. No koutou te tapuwae, no matou te tapuwae, kua honoa pumautia. Â Ko nga toa kua hinga nei, o te Waipounamu, o te Ika a Maui, he okioki tahi me o ...2 weeks ago
- PM announces changes to portfoliosPaul Goldsmith will take on responsibility for the Media and Communications portfolio, while Louise Upston will pick up the Disability Issues portfolio, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon announced today. âOur Government is relentlessly focused on getting New Zealand back on track. As issues change in prominence, I plan to adjust Ministerial ...2 weeks ago
- New catch limits for unique fishery areasRecreational catch limits will be reduced in areas of Fiordland and the Chatham Islands to help keep those fisheries healthy and sustainable, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. The lower recreational daily catch limits for a range of finfish and shellfish species caught in the Fiordland Marine Area and ...2 weeks ago
- Minister welcomes hydrogen milestoneEnergy Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed an important milestone in New Zealandâs hydrogen future, with the opening of the countryâs first network of hydrogen refuelling stations in Wiri. âI want to congratulate the team at Hiringa Energy and its partners K one W one (K1W1), Mitsui & Co New Zealand ...2 weeks ago
- Urgent changes to system through first RMA Amendment BillThe coalition Government is delivering on its commitment to improve resource management laws and give greater certainty to consent applicants, with a Bill to amend the Resource Management Act (RMA) expected to be introduced to Parliament next month. RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop has today outlined the first RMA Amendment ...2 weeks ago
- What Australia can learn from Latin America when it comes to tackling violence against women
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Luis GĂłmez Romero, Senior Lecturer in Human Rights, Constitutional Law and Legal Theory, University of Wollongong Fifty years ago, Australian feminist Anne Summers denounced âthe ideology of sexismâ governing over so many womenâs lives. Unfortunately, sexism is as lethal today as it ...2 hours ago - A tax on sugary drinks can make us healthier. Itâs time for Australia to introduce oneSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Peter Breadon, Program Director, Health and Aged Care, Grattan Institute Leah Newhouse/Pexels Sugary drinks cause weight gain and increase the risk of a range of diseases, including diabetes. The evidence shows that well-designed taxes can reduce sugary drink sales, cause ...2 hours ago
- As New Zealand CBDs evolve post-pandemic, repurposing old or empty spaces should be on the drawing b...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Jose Antonio Lara-Hernandez, Senior Researcher in Architecture, Auckland University of Technology Getty Images The COVID-19 pandemic and the hybrid work patterns it fostered have changed the way we think about office space, and central business districts in general. While fears ...2 hours ago
- Nuclear power makes no sense for Australia â but itâs a useful diversion from real climate actio...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Adam Simpson, Senior Lecturer, International Studies, University of South Australia Wlad74, Shutterstock Opposition leader Peter Dutton argues Australia needs nuclear power to achieve net zero emissions by 2050. But nuclear power is not feasible for Australia. It is too slow, too ...2 hours ago
- Australian churches collectively raise billions of dollars a year â why arenât they taxed?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Dale Boccabella, Associate Professor of Taxation Law, UNSW Sydney Thereâs a good reason your local volunteer-run netball club doesnât pay tax. In Australia, various nonprofit organisations are exempt from paying income tax, including those that do charitable work, such as churches. ...2 hours ago
- Real comedy, real trauma: how Baby Reindeer and Feel Good are forging a new television genreSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Marina Deller, Casual Academic, Creative Writing and English Literature, Flinders University Netflix Comedy is opening up spaces for silences to be broken and trauma stories to be told. In 2018, Hannah Gadsby started a revolution with Nanette, asking audiences to rethink ...2 hours ago
- Tense office dynamics draining your soul? Kink can help with that
The workplace can be a minefield of bad comms and passive aggression. Kinksters can help you navigate it. A friend and colleague recently gave me a compliment I loved. They told me Iâd always been good at emotional communication and making people feel comfortable. âBut I feel like itâs really ...2 hours ago - Old, more polluting ships serving NZ could be a barrier to climate goals
The Climate Change Commission is floating the idea of bringing international shipping into New Zealand's carbon-cutting targets. ...4 hours ago - A week on, the school phone ban is (mostly) winning praiseEven if some students are now just texting on their laptops. Stewart Sowman-Lund writes in this excerpt from The Bulletin, The Spinoffâs morning news round-up. To receive The Bulletin in full each weekday, sign up here. ...4 hours ago
- Could Wellington be the next region to ink a water deal with the government?Councils from Horowhenua, KÄpiti, Wairarapa, the Hutt Valley, Porirua and Wellington City will meet this Friday to work together on a plan for a Greater Wellington region water deal. ...4 hours ago
- Award-Winning Musician Ria Hall Announces Candidacy For Mayor Of Tauranga
Renowned musician, advocate, and proud born and raised daughter of Tauranga, Ria Hall, is announcing her candidacy for Mayor of Tauranga and PÄpÄmoa Ward for the upcoming election on July 20th. ...5 hours ago - Teachers donât want the new histories curriculum to be ârebalancedâThe new Aotearoa histories curriculum is rich with potential. Thereâs still work to be done, but the education ministerâs criticisms about âbalanceâ miss the mark, argues primary school teacher Jessie Moss. In 2015, Ćtorohanga College students presented to parliament a petition signed by more than 10,000 people calling for a ...6 hours ago
- At last! The kiwi is getting its comeuppance For too long our so-called national bird has maintained its stranglehold on the economy of regional New Zealand. Thanks to the fast track legislation, we will have our revenge. Theories abound on what ails New Zealandâs economy. National leader Chris Luxon has posited that weâre negative, wet, whiny, and inward-looking; ...6 hours ago
- Newsroom daily quiz, Monday 6 May
Loading…(function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){var ql=document.querySelectorAll('A,DIV,A[data-quiz],DIV[data-quiz]'); if(ql){if(ql.length){for(var k=0;k<ql.length;k++){ql[k].id='quiz-embed-'+k;ql[k].href="javascript:var i=document.getElementById('quiz-embed-"+k+"');try{qz.startQuiz(i)}catch(e){i.start=1;i.style.cursor='wait';i.style.opacity='0.5'};void(0);"}}};i['QP']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){(i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o),m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m)})(window,document,'script','https://take.quiz-maker.com/3012/CDN/quiz-embed-v1.js','qp'); Got a good quiz question? Send Newsroom your questions. The post Newsroom daily quiz, Monday 6 May appeared first on Newsroom. ...6 hours ago - New Kiwi gymnast flips for Olympic dreamFor the past 12 years, Georgia-Rose Brown has balanced on the brink of making an Olympic Games Ââ but always landed gracefully on the wrong side. Reaching the Olympics is a dream the gymnast has harboured since she was a six-year-old; a dream that would dwindle every four years, yet ...6 hours ago
- Rent controls are far from being âeconomically illiterateâOpinion: There are many ways to regulate for rental increases, depending on the market conditions The post Rent controls are far from being ‘economically illiterate’ appeared first on Newsroom. ...6 hours ago
- Southland stream life wiped out by single contaminant dumpAn investigation is underway into how freshwater crayfish, trout and thousands of eels were killed when pollution from private land ended up in a healthy stream The post Southland stream life wiped out by single contaminant dump appeared first on Newsroom. ...6 hours ago
- An incident at Glenmark station in CanterburyLate one afternoon in March 1860 a man in a thin green velveteen jacket and a wide-awake hat arrived on foot at a sheep station named Glenmark, about 65 kilometres north of Christchurch. The man was in his mid-fifties but he looked older. Several people who met him that day ...6 hours ago
- An obscure climate accounting decision with billion-dollar consequencesOpinion: For a country that trades on its reputation as a trustworthy international counterpart, we must follow through on our climate commitments â or face serious financial risks The post An obscure climate accounting decision with billion-dollar consequences appeared first on Newsroom. ...6 hours ago
- Officials set aside environmental benefits of waste-to-energy facilityA $350 million waste incinerator is a step closer, but questions marks remain over its environmental benefits The post Officials set aside environmental benefits of waste-to-energy facility appeared first on Newsroom. ...6 hours ago
- Aucklandâs decades-old stadium shuffleIf building one of Auckland’s possible waterfront stadiums was funded privately, it would need to hold a sold-out Ed Sherran concert every weekday for 25 years. That’s Rob Hamlin’s finding â he’s a senior marketing lecturer at the University of Otago. “It’s not going to happen; forget about it,” he ...6 hours ago
- Federated Farmersâ support for fast-track bill âambiguousâFed Farmers’ oral and written submissions on the fast-track bill contain no definitive indication of the group’s support. Board member Mark Hooper clarifies. The post Federated Farmers’ support for fast-track bill ‘ambiguous’ appeared first on Newsroom. ...6 hours ago
- How advertising, not social media, killed traditional journalismComment: The debate over the future relationship between news and social media is bringing us closer to a long-overdue reckoning. Social media isn’t trying to kill journalism, because social media has never really cared about journalism. Social media is resolutely in the attention business. News propels some attention â perhaps ...6 hours ago
- Daily crossword, Monday 6 MayThe post Daily crossword, Monday 6 May appeared first on Newsroom. ...6 hours ago
- Political donations: people power no match for big businessAnalysis: Experts are renewing their calls for a cap on donations as the gap between the left and the right widens The post Political donations: people power no match for big business appeared first on Newsroom. ...6 hours ago
- Students on social work, nursing and teaching placements to get weekly $319.50 means tested Prac Pay...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michelle Grattan, Professorial Fellow, University of Canberra A new Commonwealth Prac Payment will provide students with $319.50 a week when they are on clinical and professional placements. The payment will be means tested and start from July 1 next year, which ...10 hours ago
- Auckland Palestine rally honours Gaza journalists for freedom awardAsia Pacific Report About 500 people honoured Palestinian journalists in the heart of the New Zealand city of Auckland today for their brave coverage of Israelâs War on Gaza, now in its seventh month with almost 35,000 people killed, mostly women and children. Marking the annual May 3 World Press ...11 hours ago
- GCSB foreign spying capability under scrutinyThe Government Communications Security Bureau denies hosting a foreign spying capability flagged by the watchdog, differentiating it from the system recently criticised. ...19 hours ago
- Auckland academics call out university stance over pro-Palestine protestRNZ News A group of academic staff at New Zealandâs largest university have expressed concern at the administrationâs move to block a protest encampment that was planned to take place on campus calling for support for the rights of Palestinians. This week, the University of Auckland warned that while it ...21 hours ago
- Auckland's new water plan unveiled by Mayor Wayne Brown and Local Government Minister Simeon Br...The government claims Aucklanders will avoid a projected 25.8 percent water rates increase with the coalition's Local Water Done Well plan. ...22 hours ago
- 'MÄori Seabed, For Shore!' – Two decades on from the largest hÄ«koi in a generationTwenty years has passed since the historic hÄ«koi against the controversial Foreshore and Seabed Act reached Parliament. ...1 day ago
- An Ode to .. Julie Anne GenterGenterwocky After a hard days marching, Sir Doocey calls in at the Village Tavern For a pint of ale and a pork pie. The grim villagers stare at him. âDo not be travelling on the forest road,â warns a crusty old beak. âAnd why is that, antique peasant?â Grins Sir ...1 day ago
- National aims high while struggling to take offPolitical conferences after a party returns to power are usually a chance for some healthy, even unhealthy backslapping. Yet National Party president Sylvia Woodâs address to its mainland representatives on Saturday hardly contained the unalloyed delight that one might have expected following Nationalâs escape from the wilderness of opposition. Yes, ...1 day ago
- Real journalists can lead the war against deepfakesComment: Almost half the world is voting in national elections this year and artificial intelligence is the elephant in the room. There are genuine fears AI-generated or AI-edited deepfakes will potentially manipulate election outcomes not just in the US and UK, but critically in countries such as India. For that ...1 day ago
- Meet the cast of Married at First Sight NZ for 2024Ahead of the reality franchiseâs return to New Zealand, allow us to introduce the eight brides and grooms. Chuck on a veil and tie back your man bun, because itâs time to say âI doâ to a new season of Married at First Sight NZ. The reality TV âsocial experimentâ ...1 day ago
- The good news is the government plans to cancel $3 billion in student debt. The bad news is indexati...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Andrew Norton, Professor in the Practice of Higher Education Policy, Australian National University Every year on June 1, student debt in Australia is indexed to inflation. In 2023, high inflation pushed the indexation rate to 7.1%, the highest since 1990. This ...1 day ago
- Albanese government to wipe $3 billion in student debt, benefitting three million peopleSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michelle Grattan, Professorial Fellow, University of Canberra Changes in the May 14 budget will cut the student debt of more than three million people, wiping more than $3 billion from what people owe. The government will cap the HELP indexation rate ...1 day ago
- ICC demands end to threats against court amid Gaza war probeAsia Pacific Report The prosecutorâs office at the International Criminal Court (ICC) has appealed for an end to what it calls intimidation of its staff, saying such threats could constitute an offence against the âadministration of justiceâ by the worldâs permanent war crimes court. The Hague-based office of ICC Prosecutor ...1 day ago
- New Caledoniaâs women sit-in to support smeared Kanak journalistBy Patrick Decloitre, RNZ Pacific correspondent French Pacific desk A womenâs union in New Caledonia has staged a sit-in protest this week to support senior Kanak indigenous journalist ThĂ©rĂšse Waia, who works for public broadcaster Nouvelle-CalĂ©donie la PremiĂšre, after a smear attack by critics. The peaceful demonstration was held on ...2 days ago
- New Zealand signs deal with Germany on Antarctica cooperationThe memorandum of understanding with Germany's Alfred Wegener Institute is expected to foster cooperation between the two polar science bodies. ...2 days ago
- NZ food safety agency monitoring Indian spice mix recallsNew Zealand Food Safety is monitoring overseas recalls of Indian packaged spice products manufactured by MDH and Everest due to concerns over a cancer-causing pesticide. ...2 days ago
- Fijiâs media freedom ranking jumps, Papua New Guineaâs plummetsBy Stephen Wright and Stefan Armbruster of BenarNews Fijiâs ranking in a global press freedom index has jumped into the top tier of countries with free or mostly free media after its government last year repealed a draconian law that threatened journalists with prison for doing their jobs. Fijiâs improvement ...2 days ago
- The Boy in the Water: âI just canât do this anymoreâWe might be in Invercargill but all anyone can talk about is Gore. Specifically, Salford Street. Thatâs where three-year-old Lachlan Jones lived, south of the centre of town, between the A&P Showgrounds and the Mataura River. Roughly 1.2 km away from the single level home he lived in with his ...2 days ago
- 'Data is the new oil': Call to save jobs of data security guardsNew Zealanders' data is at risk with the government's "unintelligent" proposal to cut information security jobs, the Privacy Foundation says. ...2 days ago
- The Secret Diary of .. Coalition Sheriff LuxonMONDAY I lined up the latest round of civil servants from city hall against the wall, and signalled for the firing squad to drop their rifles. I stepped up onto a wooden crate to look at the office workers in the eye. But that didnât feel right, so I found ...2 days ago
- Liam Hewson seeks answers in natureKeen hiker and second-year MSc student Liam Hewson wears two hats when heâs in the great outdoors. âThe scientist in me appreciates nature and goes, âOh, thereâs that thing and thereâs another thing,â but then the tramper and the outdoorsy person in me thinks, âCool bush.ââ Born and bred in ...2 days ago
- Dan Carter wonât stop kickingAfter a long and illustrious career as a goal kicker, Dan Carterâs favourite way to unwind is⊠kicking goals. Why canât he get enough of it? And what itâs like to watch him do it for an hour straight? A semicircle of people wielding cameras and phones has formed in ...2 days ago
- âEverybody rolls their eyesâ: Dame Susan Devoyâs guilty TV pleasureDame Susan Devoy takes us through her life in television, including late night ER debriefs, her proudest CTI moment and the show she watches in secret. Quite aside from her four world champion squash titles, Dame Susan Devoy will likely go down in history as one of the best Celebrity ...2 days ago
- Dunedinâs secondhand bookshops, ranked and reviewedHera Lindsay Bird reveals the best places in Ćtepoti to score more for your apocalypse-prep book hoard. Sometimes I get the feeling Iâve been killed in a car crash, and this second half of my life is just the brain unspooling itself, like one of those episodes of a hospital ...2 days ago
- Review: High Country is the ideal crime drama for a cold winter nightThreeNowâs new murder mystery series takes us on a dark, damp journey into the Australian wilderness. This is an excerpt from our weekly pop culture newsletter Rec Room. Sign up here. High Country is ThreeNowâs new Australian eight-part crime drama, set in a remote part of the Victorian highlands. It tells ...2 days ago
- Welcome to The WeekendIntroducing a new way to read The Spinoff every weekend. After nearly 10 years of being an online magazine, weâre finally embracing the weekend liftout. Despite our best efforts to convince you otherwise, writers and editors at The Spinoff donât work weekend. It is through the sheer power of technology ...2 days ago
- Tips and tricks for when your therapist looks like your dadTip one: let yourself be nurtured by this big old man. Tip two: donât ask him to adopt you. So, youâve arrived at your first session with a new therapist. He tells you to make yourself comfortable and you opt for the tweed armchair, hoping it makes you look like ...2 days ago
- The Sunday Essay: The books that electrify and consume youI didnât know books could open you back up; that there were books that stayed with you, where reading was like a chemical event. I knew nothing. The Sunday Essay is made possible thanks to the support of Creative New Zealand. Not too long ago, I was listening to the American ...2 days ago
- The Enhanced games, where drug use isnât cheatingFormer Olympic swimmer James Magnussen has already started training for the Enhanced games, though says he won’t start taking performance enhancing substances until about nine months out from the competition. The Australian world champion was the first athlete to be announced by Enhanced, but he says the organisation has had ...2 days ago
- Short story: The boat in the shed, by Kyle MewburnEveryone thinks he’s dead. Every day they expect his body to be washed up along the coast. Most likely up Karitane way, the way the tide’s running. But nobody’ll be too surprised if his body’s never found. Even in death he wouldn’t have wished for such attention. He would have ...2 days ago
- USP Council votes to bring controversial VC back to FijiCouncil members voted 21 to 4 in favour of Ahluwalia returning to the Laucala campus following a much-awaited meeting in Vanuatu this week. It comes as USP and its two unions â the Association of the University of the South Pacific Staff (AUSPS) and the Administration and Support Staff Union ...2 days ago
- Public health expert urges govt to focus on disease preventionThe government needs to step up in the wake of a report showing a third of Kiwis have unmet health needs, Professor Boyd Swinburn says. ...3 days ago
- Figures like Andrew Tate may help spread misogyny. But theyâre amplifying â not causing â the ...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Nicola Henry, Professor & Australian Research Council Future Fellow, Social and Global Studies Centre, RMIT University Shutterstock Following an emergency meeting of the National Cabinet this week, Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has announced a raft of measures to tackle the problem ...3 days ago
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Natzional’s last stand.
DriftWood.
Actually: adriftwood
King Canute tries to keep the land back.
On the beach redux
“Hear Ye, lowly molluscs and other sub-tidal entities….”
Tide goes out on National.
who is it..?
National – turning our backs to climate change.
woody pitches for a re-make of ‘the piano’..
..to be called ‘the lectern’…
Civil Defense finds Woodhouses’s speeches more effective than sirens at clearing beaches in an emergency
Potato lol -1000
this is the economic boat..
..that key/national promised to float…
our airforce..doing live-ammunition exercises…
‘woody’ recreates his ancestors arrival in nz..
..(i understand they brought nz’s first ever lectern with them..)
woody unveils groundbreaking new national party economic-initiative..
..the solar-powered/amphibious-lectern…
speaking to reporters woody extolled the export-possibilities of this ‘exciting’ new initiative..
..saying it will become de riguer for all politicians/captains-of-industry to have one..
..woody says that on a calm day..he pops over to waiheke on his..
..or he cruises the beaches of auckland..
..and can give speeches to both passing-craft..and beachgoers..
..’you can always feel secure’..said woody..’your genitals are always covered/protected..
..no more standing there feeling vulnerable/exposed/naked as you preach to the peasants..
..you just grab the no-slip grips on the poly-lectern..knowing yr family-jewels are protected on three sides’..
And now for something completely different
lol
“No.1: The Larch.”
Still lolling đ
lol also
Yep absolute LOL …
“I’m the king of the world!!”
At last St Woody, inspired by desperation, went down to the sea-shore, where the river runs into the sea, and having placed himself on a bank between the river and the sea, he began to speak to the fishes as if Woger had sent him to preach to them, and said: “Listen to the word of Woger, O ye fishes of the sea and of the river, and you rancid cetaceans, seeing that honest people and hard working people refuse to do so.”
All washed up.
tsunami? no its a left wing conspiracy i tell ya!
We shall go on to the end. We shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength on the air, we shall sell our islands, whatever the cost may be. We shall sell them on the beaches, we shall sell them on the landing grounds, we shall sell them in the fields and in the streets, we shall sell them in the hills; we shall surrender everything. For money.
To all of my supporters, gathered here today I say
John Key had a dream…
And here I am!
“There’s a woman down the end with a couple of kids and a bucket. Perhaps she wants to listen to me talk about how our new employment laws will help workers enjoy their lives ?”
That ladywith a bucket – any toheroa you find is Crown property!
woody suddenly realises..that for him..
..the tide will never come in..
“Ladies and gentlemen, in this lot we have the foreshore and seabed going for steal. Shall we commence the bidding! “
“Anyone makes a joke about John Key and a whale stranding and I’m off”
or (for the westie surfers): keyhole obscured by arsehole.
Lol
Galoot succeeds. The waves retreat under the crushing weight of his rhetoric!
âAll the inhabitants of the world should know that the power of kings is vain and trivial, and that none is worthy the name of king but He whose command the heaven, earth and sea obey by eternal lawsâ
As we await this fleet of China!s ships,we can say we welcome them,we are now approaching a new venture in our lands development,reaching out to a culture like ours, innovative,and not afraid to take risks.We look forward to doing business with this dynamic culture.
Who has the contract to make the gumboots,whats his name,Sushi,Sushi,no its HOE.
woody pitches for a (low-cost) remake of ‘all the presidents’ men’..
..starring him and his mate in the hat…
Nationals latest campaign to prove that they are in touch with ‘real New Zealanders’.
Michael Woodhouse says ” I like to go down and spend the day at the beach just like everybody else”.
If a National Minister speaks to an empty beach who will hold him to account?
Police Minister launches new version of cardboard cutout cop. Guaranteed for sea-level rises of up to 30cm.
And now for the next asset sale, new zealands forshore.
what do hear for an opening bid, who will start off with a bid of 5 billion?
Latest asset sale? New Zealand for sure!
in an effort to keep flights to the provinces I’m proud to call this new runway open, take it away captain
I always practice my speeches on the beach. No hecklers. And I write my promises out on the sand – transparent for all to see. There they are in black and white, or rather light brown, or even in fifty shades of grey heh heh my little joke, and anyone can come and look at them before the tide comes in. But then though they are hidden from the public, they lie in my heart.
National is constructing an ark to survive climate change, starting with the poop deck.
@Yeah
+1
Cops to target all lecterns this summer.
Police say there will be a no lectern tolerance level this summer. However, the evaluation couldn’t confirm the statistical significance of a lectern decreases because of the small numbers involved.
Prime N Z beachfront for sale to the highest bidder! Be quick, won’t last long!
Where do I tie up the Donkey!
Thanks for coming mum.
You keep dissing the Key Man, and all you commies will be swimming with the fishes.
More rubbish washes up on beach
…. ’cause John told me to…
“Minister releases new sections for affordable housing initiative”
Hehe
“F***. I shouldn’t have mentioned ebola.”
First hot-air powered hovercraft crosses Tasman
lolz much.
Michael’s press conference didn’t go as planned once the media recieved a text that one of ‘The Block’ contestants was spotted in Pak’N’Save.
From his twitter account, Woodlouse loves photo ops with sporting celebs and hobnobbing around the world on the taxpayers dime. Never heard of him til now. The Nats also enjoyed endorsements by famous All Blacks ON ELECTION DAY.
Labour aren’t the only ones who can have a Foreshore and Seabed Act.
“We must build but we must build surely.”
Party Political Beach-
“NZ beaches go under the hammer in latest government asset sale”.
Of course I can order everyone out of the water and off the beach for a couple of hoiurs, for a photo-op …. don;t you know I am?
(no)
There was Woody giving an otherwise dull speech to the House – when suddenly the PM’s Infinite Improbability Generator kicked in.
Redlogix
+1
As he drifted into the afterlife, Dobby imagined he was giving a speech on the desolate beach that would be his ending…
In order for the announcement of this new law to be legally binding it must be made on sovereign New Zealand owned soil. We are told due to a small error on a land sales document that this small section we have placed this stage on is the last piece of it left in New Zealand.
Ouch!
Woodhouse floundering!
Trying out Nationals new strategy of avoiding whaleoil tsunami!
Imbeachment
Clever clogs
First sea trial for Nationals new life raft,does not go well for junior minister.
“Auckland traffic gridlock? Where? It’s just another dirty left-wing conspiracy”.
the new minister for flotsom and jetsam speaks to his constituency..
nationals’ media-mavens come up with yet another absolutely brilliant idea…
woody has an unusual hobby…
woodys’ scrapbook:..
..what i did on my hols…
very poor turnout for the woody fanclub beach-day…
woody shows off his new beach-suit…
when woody gets all existential and angsty…
..he likes to take one of his favourite lecterns to the beach..
..so they can chill-out together…
man in hat:..
‘it’s been three hours minister…i don’t think anyones’ coming’..
minister waits for mr whippy van..
… and what’s more, JK would never bend over for CS.
minister releases policy on global warming, population explosion and sea level rise.
‘We have four of these, which proves we take seriously our response capability to any deep sea oil spill”.
That made me laugh you got my vote. đ
” The government has signed a contract with the Hyundai ship building yard in Ulsan, South Korea to have them built. The vessels will be delivered in the first quarter of the new year.
Two will be docked and utilized from Port Taranaki while the third and fourth will be shared between the East Coast of the North Is and the maritime jurisdictions of the Canterbury and Deep South basin’s.”
Minister issues apology for Climate Change policy.
Government announces new spying laws, ” The local seals have nothing to fear”
Government announces new spying laws, ” The local seals have nothing to fear”, the Minister said.
Only Navy Seals, the Minister further advised.
Phil j a series of bonny motes!
” USA Double Agent seeks asylum in Tolega Bay “
“Government Minister announces further DOC restructuring”
” Sex On The Beach is now illegal under new terrorist law “
“Man arrested for impersonating a Government Minister in a public place”
Newsflash!
” Minister declares leadership coup! “
…And the Floating Lectern Cup is still NZ’s cup. Eat that Jimmy Spithill.
….. and now I will I dig a hole in the sand and do my ostrich impersonation…..
Johns Keys flunky announces and reviews the new increased defense forces
New Zealands olympic bobsleigh unveiled
Nationals spokesman, announces new site of shallow graves for all the abandoned national policies
the intensive search for Paula Bennet fails
New Zealands new aircraft carrier had a few subtle flaws
National Flunkey, announces Life is a beach yet under National Life is a *********!
National Supporter shows off his ill gotten Ikea Lectern Gains in NZ Black Friday Sale
Aussie Invasion repulsed!
Anyone that finds the buried ego of Pete George,,,,,will be allowed to exit the country……
Santas sleigh now privatised and flogged off to highest bidder!
Ok, the bidding is currently at $10 dollars for complete drilling rights…….any other offers……going goingggggggggg.
I ordered a hovercraft…….send this back to amazon
GP spokesman, shows off new membership
At Davos In Switzerland, climate change denier, announces G20 to think about 0.9 % cut in co2 emissions
The prime minister pledged a new police vessel before the end of the year and despite a funding shortfall I am proud to launch this raft today.
And just up on the beach is the Crematorium thats why no one is here
Government unveils plans to save manufacturing and rescue the economy – Ladies and Gentlmen, introducing the wooden segway.