Written By: notices and features - Date published: 1:55 pm, June 19th, 2012 - 60 comments
Categories: caption contest, john key -
i have tasted the fruit of our brighter future . .
♪ ♫ . . . Nobody loves me
Everybody hates me
Going to the garden to eat worms
Long thin slimy ones
Short fat juicy ones
Gooey, gooey, gooey, gooey, worms . . . ♫ ♪
Urgh… was that you, Gerry?
“Hard hat and orange vest or not, I’m still a mean SOB.”
mmmm….wrecking ball ..mmmmm.
“I know Crosby-Textor keep telling me I need to get rid of this horrible guilty look but I can’t help it because everywhere I go I keep thinking people can see right through me. It’s really weird.”
My government has started to rot
So I will take it outside with a League Table spade
And finally bury it
Who said “Your remaining coalition option is Winston Peters?”
“Please believe me – I am not morphing into Jim Bolger”
But I’d say, Muldoon not Bolger.
more likely GWB .
shit…they’re beginning to catch onto my ‘rebuilding’ rhetoric…I could do with another quake
Jeez I’m over this job but that damm Boag woman has all those tapes.
Ech – this mutt John Banks is still humping my leg.
“Piss off peasants! I am Untouchable!”
“Winston recommended this new skin care range… I’m not sure.”
Maybe my shit does stink !!
“I’ll be positive until the day they drag me out.”
NZ Listener June 23 – 29 2012 Issue 3763 Cover Story – PM Under Pressure
are there wage earners in the area???
“I hope my toupee doesn’t stick to this hardhat.”
Brownlee went to Christchurch and all I got was this lousy fluoro vest.
7% of kiwis will get to invest in power companies they already own.
The question you’ve gotta ask yourself is: do I feel lucky?”
Well do ya, punk?
They gave me a blue hard-hat but how come my right ear is turning red; Help! Labour have put a curse on me.
Witnessing the “smiling assassin” turn into the “unhappy fugitive”….priceless, and bloody expensive.
I’ve met the Queen and her lot a couple of times now, I think it’s time I adopt the condescending scowl too, I’m practically a royal you know!
Hmmm … Parata … Collins ….Hmm … Bronagh …Hmmm … Jelly … Hmmmm
If I squint enough they all look like the little people I conned everyone into thinking I will look after.
‘heavy sigh’ when’s my next hawaii appointment.
Kin feel my rug sling. We need nutha rubber wool cup.
WhaleSpew taught me how to look tough.
No Xmas for John Key.
apologies to M.E.S
PS – it occurs to me that there is an anti-Semitic interpretation of this caption. Fuck racism.
Ha! Bet that’s got a few folk puzzled, KTH.
“is it just me ,or did someone take a dump in this hard hat ?”
fuck off noddy
“Mend your speech a little,
Lest you may mar your fortunes.” WS
“Ingratitude, thou marble-hearted fiend,
More hideous, when thou show’st thee in a child
Than the sea-monster!” WS again. King Lear is full of captions for this photo.
So how’s that third term looking, John?
Hmm, is that coal over there?
I better not get to close.
Yeah I know my neolib drug habit has destroyed my looks, but once I’ve sold NZ off to my mates and I need a new identity I’ll get some work done by a surgeon in Los Angeles.
I got Warners that deal – I audition for leading Orc – I find out they have fucked off to Aussie!
The defendant in the theft of NZ court case attempts to appear remorseful.
The penny drops with Key that Brownlee is no good at woodwork either, he then decides to sack all technology teachers as revenge.
Parata called me a rockstar, so I started doing drugs, now I look like Keith Richards. (sorry Keith)
It’s not fair! I wanted to be the man that sold the world, not just a few small islands.
I’ll need more that this hard hat when the plebs (is that what I can smell?) wake up to what I am up to with their assets and country.
pooh… is that socialism?
‘Well i’m nearly finished f—-n nz thats what my bosses told me to do at imf and goldman sachs,meryll lynch,bankers trust,it didnt quite work in the 80’s,i got a phone call,now i cant
believe i have got such a great free ride and so much power i feel drunk.
Who are you?
I’m making cuts too, see I have sold my smile and wave.
John finds that after a bite of asset sales they have lost their savour.
Cheer up Johnny, that face isn’t anything that a good surgeon and few of your millions can’t fix.
Your mention of a few millions, M, called to mind the Woody Guthrie song.
“I don’t want your millions, Mister,
I don’t want your diamond ring.
All I want is the right to live, Mister,
Give me back my job again.
Now, I don’t want your Rolls-Royce, Mister,
I don’t want your *Rolex watch.
All I want’s just food for my babies,
Give me back that job I got.
We worked to build this country, Mister,
While you enjoyed a life of ease.
You’ve stolen all that we built, Mister,
Now our hungry children they starve and freeze.
Think me dumb if you wish, Mister,
Call me green, or blue, or red.
This one thing I sure know, Mister,
My hungry babies must be fed.”
* my change to lyrics here.
I can’t wait to get back to Hawaihi, away from this bunch of assholes, and that is my lot too, not to mention the great unwashed…
What stink ? My shit doesn’t stink…….
I am one mean son of a bitch. I am “The King of the Hostile Takeover”
So – If you are worker then you are there to keep the country working and other than that I don’t give a rats arse about you!
” I know nussink…”
Bloody Proles !
Oh dear, he’s Lord Percy.
JK: After literally an hour’s ceaseless searching, I have succeeded in creating gold, pure gold.
Lord Ashcroft: Are you sure?
JK: Yes, my lord. Behold.
Lord Ashcroft: John… it’s green.
JK: That’s right, my lord.
Lord Ashcroft: Yes, John, I don’t want to be pedantic or anything, but the colour of gold is gold. That’s why it’s called gold. What you have discovered, if it has a name, is ‘green’.
JK: Oh, Lord Ashcroft, can it be true, that I hold here in my mortal hand a nugget of purest green?
Lord Ashcroft: Indeed you do, John, except, of course, it’s not really a nugget, it’s more of a splat.
JK: Well, yes, a splat today… but tomorrow — who knows, or dares to dream?
my soul shines through my face
I have no answers to your questions, I wasn’t ready, Hangon …
Behold my serious Face
Ha! This is how to look tough Shearer.Hard hat,check,hi vis jacket,check.The b—–s wouldn’t give me my own clipboard, something to do with commercial sensitivity.Now, where’s my ukelele. All together now, Way Down upon the Swanee River.
Phoar, something stinks. OH, it’s me!
No, I never heard of the name Dot.com.. got a problem with that?
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