web analytics

Caption Contest

Written By: - Date published: 1:55 pm, June 19th, 2012 - 60 comments
Categories: caption contest, john key - Tags:

h/t deuto

60 comments on “Caption Contest”

  1. Dr Terry 1

    “Sour grapes”

  2. freedom 2

    i have tasted the fruit of our brighter future . .

  3. BLiP 3

    .

    ♪ ♫ . . . Nobody loves me
    Everybody hates me
    Going to the garden to eat worms
    Long thin slimy ones
    Short fat juicy ones
    Gooey, gooey, gooey, gooey, worms . . . ♫ ♪

  4. Hayden 4

    Urgh… was that you, Gerry?

  5. mac1 5

    “Hard hat and orange vest or not, I’m still a mean SOB.”

  6. tc 6

    mmmm….wrecking ball ..mmmmm.

  7. John M 7

    “I know Crosby-Textor keep telling me I need to get rid of this horrible guilty look but I can’t help it because everywhere I go I keep thinking people can see right through me. It’s really weird.”

  8. ad 8

    My government has started to rot
    So I will take it outside with a League Table spade
    And finally bury it

  9. ad 9

    Who said “Your remaining coalition option is Winston Peters?”

  10. lprent 10

    “Please believe me – I am not morphing into Jim Bolger”

  11. fatty 11

    shit…they’re beginning to catch onto my ‘rebuilding’ rhetoric…I could do with another quake

  12. tc 12

    Jeez I’m over this job but that damm Boag woman has all those tapes.

  13. ad 13

    Ech – this mutt John Banks is still humping my leg.

  14. ianmac 14

    “Piss off peasants! I am Untouchable!”

  15. ad 15

    “Winston recommended this new skin care range… I’m not sure.”

  16. taxicab 16

    Maybe my shit does stink !!

  17. Treetop 17

    “I’ll be positive until the day they drag me out.”

    NZ Listener June 23 – 29 2012 Issue 3763 Cover Story – PM Under Pressure

  18. tracey 18

    are there wage earners in the area???

  19. ad 19

    “I rule”

  20. Jackal 20

    “I hope my toupee doesn’t stick to this hardhat.”

  21. Nigel 21

    Brownlee went to Christchurch and all I got was this lousy fluoro vest.

  22. McFlock 22

    7% of kiwis will get to invest in power companies they already own.
    The question you’ve gotta ask yourself is: do I feel lucky?”
    Well do ya, punk?

  23. fender 23

    They gave me a blue hard-hat but how come my right ear is turning red; Help! Labour have put a curse on me.

    Witnessing the “smiling assassin” turn into the “unhappy fugitive”….priceless, and bloody expensive.

    I’ve met the Queen and her lot a couple of times now, I think it’s time I adopt the condescending scowl too, I’m practically a royal you know!

  24. ad 24

    Hmmm … Parata … Collins ….Hmm … Bronagh …Hmmm … Jelly … Hmmmm

  25. tc 25

    If I squint enough they all look like the little people I conned everyone into thinking I will look after.

    ‘heavy sigh’ when’s my next hawaii appointment.

  26. Murray Olsen 26

    Kin feel my rug sling. We need nutha rubber wool cup.

  27. Murray Olsen 27

    WhaleSpew taught me how to look tough.

  28. Kotahi Tane Huna 28

    No Xmas for John Key.

    apologies to M.E.S

    PS – it occurs to me that there is an anti-Semitic interpretation of this caption. Fuck racism.

  29. mick 29

    “is it just me ,or did someone take a dump in this hard hat ?”

  30. Kotahi Tane Huna 31

    “Mend your speech a little,
    Lest you may mar your fortunes.” WS

  31. Kotahi Tane Huna 32

    “Ingratitude, thou marble-hearted fiend,
    More hideous, when thou show’st thee in a child
    Than the sea-monster!” WS again. King Lear is full of captions for this photo.

  32. Te Reo Putake 33

    So how’s that third term looking, John?

  33. Jenny 34

    Hmm, is that coal over there?

    I better not get to close.

  34. fender 35

    Yeah I know my neolib drug habit has destroyed my looks, but once I’ve sold NZ off to my mates and I need a new identity I’ll get some work done by a surgeon in Los Angeles.

  35. fabregas4 36

    I got Warners that deal – I audition for leading Orc – I find out they have fucked off to Aussie!

  36. fender 37

    The defendant in the theft of NZ court case attempts to appear remorseful.

    The penny drops with Key that Brownlee is no good at woodwork either, he then decides to sack all technology teachers as revenge.

    Parata called me a rockstar, so I started doing drugs, now I look like Keith Richards. (sorry Keith)

    It’s not fair! I wanted to be the man that sold the world, not just a few small islands.

  37. deuto 38

    I’ll need more that this hard hat when the plebs (is that what I can smell?) wake up to what I am up to with their assets and country.

  38. Mike Boon 39

    pooh… is that socialism?

  39. ‘Well i’m nearly finished f—-n nz thats what my bosses told me to do at imf and goldman sachs,meryll lynch,bankers trust,it didnt quite work in the 80’s,i got a phone call,now i cant
    believe i have got such a great free ride and so much power i feel drunk.
    Who are you?
    Reply
    “The devil”

  40. hellonearthis 41

    I’m making cuts too, see I have sold my smile and wave.

  41. M 42

    John finds that after a bite of asset sales they have lost their savour.

  42. M 43

    Cheer up Johnny, that face isn’t anything that a good surgeon and few of your millions can’t fix.

    • mac1 43.1

      Your mention of a few millions, M, called to mind the Woody Guthrie song.

      “I don’t want your millions, Mister,
      I don’t want your diamond ring.
      All I want is the right to live, Mister,
      Give me back my job again.

      Now, I don’t want your Rolls-Royce, Mister,
      I don’t want your *Rolex watch.
      All I want’s just food for my babies,
      Give me back that job I got.

      We worked to build this country, Mister,
      While you enjoyed a life of ease.
      You’ve stolen all that we built, Mister,
      Now our hungry children they starve and freeze.

      Think me dumb if you wish, Mister,
      Call me green, or blue, or red.
      This one thing I sure know, Mister,
      My hungry babies must be fed.”

      * my change to lyrics here.

  43. BillODrees 44

    I can’t wait to get back to Hawaihi,  away from this bunch of assholes, and that is my lot too, not to mention the great unwashed…

  44. North 45

    What stink ? My shit doesn’t stink…….

  45. I am one mean son of a bitch. I am “The King of the Hostile Takeover”

  46. So – If you are worker then you are there to keep the country working and other than that I don’t give a rats arse about you!

  47. Lynne Renouf 48

    ” I know nussink…”

  48. Ordinary_Bloke 49

    Bloody Proles !

  49. joe90 50

    Oh dear, he’s Lord Percy.

    JK: After literally an hour’s ceaseless searching, I have succeeded in creating gold, pure gold.

    Lord Ashcroft: Are you sure?

    JK: Yes, my lord. Behold.

    Lord Ashcroft: John… it’s green.

    JK: That’s right, my lord.

    Lord Ashcroft: Yes, John, I don’t want to be pedantic or anything, but the colour of gold is gold. That’s why it’s called gold. What you have discovered, if it has a name, is ‘green’.

    JK: Oh, Lord Ashcroft, can it be true, that I hold here in my mortal hand a nugget of purest green?

    Lord Ashcroft: Indeed you do, John, except, of course, it’s not really a nugget, it’s more of a splat.

    JK: Well, yes, a splat today… but tomorrow — who knows, or dares to dream?

  50. t gilmour 51

    my soul shines through my face

  51. BernyD 52

    I have no answers to your questions, I wasn’t ready, Hangon …

    Behold my serious Face 🙁

  52. Chris 53

    Ha! This is how to look tough Shearer.Hard hat,check,hi vis jacket,check.The b—–s wouldn’t give me my own clipboard, something to do with commercial sensitivity.Now, where’s my ukelele. All together now, Way Down upon the Swanee River.

  53. Chris 54

    Phoar, something stinks. OH, it’s me!

  54. jack 55

    No, I never heard of the name Dot.com.. got a problem with that?

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Housing map a hit as crisis spreads across NZ
    More than 55,000 New Zealanders have used Labour’s interactive housing map in its first week to see how the housing crisis is affecting their local community, Labour Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “Our innovative map shows the housing crisis is ...
    2 days ago
  • Bridges must come clean about fraud within transport
    Hundreds of thousands of dollars of public money have gone missing and  the Minister of Transport, Simon Bridges must come clean after the Labour party revealed that a senior manager is being investigated for serious fraud, says Labour’s Transport Spokesperson ...
    3 days ago
  • Labour supports Spencer victory
    Labour congratulates Margaret Spencer for her tireless efforts in challenging the Government over family carer rights, says Labour’s Deputy Leader Annette King. ...
    3 days ago
  • US Warship visit welcomed by Labour
    Labour sees the United States warship visit as a red letter day for New Zealand’s non-nuclear status, which is core to our identity and has defined us a nation for 30 years, says Labour’s Deputy Leader Annette King. ...
    3 days ago
  • Time for honest dairy sector conversation
    ...
    3 days ago
  • What next? Dog kennels?
    Social Housing Minister Paula Bennett needs to explain why the Government thinks it is acceptable for it to refer families to live in garages and sheds, says Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford. “This is a new low, just when you ...
    3 days ago
  • Banks bust a move, Government possum in the headlights
    Three of the big four banks have acted responsibly by bringing the shutters down on property speculators earlier than required by the Reserve Bank, says Labour’s housing spokesperson Phil Twyford. “It’s a shame the Government isn’t as motivated to act ...
    3 days ago
  • Latest OECD dairy forecast raises serious questions for economy
    The latest global dairy price forecast shows that New Zealand dairy farmers will not reach a break-even payout before 2019 at the earliest, and will not reach the dairy price factored into this year’s Budget until after 2025, Labour’s Finance spokesperson ...
    3 days ago
  • National’s reckless, out of touch approach to economy exposed
    Today’s economic assessment from the Reserve Bank highlights the danger to the New Zealand economy from a National government that is recklessly complacent in the face of a housing crisis and a struggling export sector, Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson says. ...
    3 days ago
  • GP’s visits get more expensive
      Visiting the GP is set to become more expensive after the Government ignored warnings that people were not receiving access to affordable  healthcare, says Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King.  “Over 400,000 New Zealanders who should be able to access ...
    5 days ago
  • Farm prices bear brunt of dairy downturn
    The slump in dairy prices that has seen farm prices drop to their lowest level since 2012 and down a third from their peak in 2014 will be of concern to farmers, banks and our overall financial stability, Labour’s Finance ...
    5 days ago
  • Reserve Bank “gets on with it”, National carries on in denial
    The proposal by the Reserve Bank to tighten loan to value ratios for investors shows they are prepared to do their bit to crack down on speculators, while National is still stuck in denial mode, Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson says. ...
    5 days ago
  • Housing crisis holds up interest rate cuts
    The housing crisis that National still wants to deny is stifling the New Zealand economy, says Labour’s Finance Spokesperson Grant Robertson. “The latest Consumers Price Index shows that all prices excluding housing and household utilities decreased 0.5 per cent – ...
    6 days ago
  • Housing crisis holds up interest rate cuts
    The housing crisis that National still wants to deny is stifling the New Zealand economy, says Labour’s Finance Spokesperson Grant Robertson. “The latest Consumers Price Index shows that all prices excluding housing and household utilities decreased 0.5 per cent – ...
    6 days ago
  • Govt’s state house sell-off ramping up
    Government plans to ramp up the state house sell-off by selling another 1000 houses in 2016/17 will mean more families in need missing out, says Leader of the Opposition Andrew Little. “New figures show the Government plans to sell 1000 ...
    6 days ago
  • Govt’s state house sell-off ramping up
    Government plans to ramp up the state house sell-off by selling another 1000 houses in 2016/17 will mean more families in need missing out, says Leader of the Opposition Andrew Little. “New figures show the Government plans to sell 1000 ...
    6 days ago
  • National must reassure exporters on dumping case
        The National Government needs to show our key exporters that they are in control of any anti-dumping case against China before it damages some of our most important industries, Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson says.     ...
    7 days ago
  • National must reassure exporters on dumping case
        The National Government needs to show our key exporters that they are in control of any anti-dumping case against China before it damages some of our most important industries, Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson says.     ...
    7 days ago
  • Papers describe litany of incredulity
    Treasury documents which slate the Government’s plans for a national bowel screening programme confirm the proposal was nothing more than a political stunt to cover up underfunding of the health sector, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette Kings says.  The papers were ...
    1 week ago
  • Effect of rampant house prices widens
    The latest house price figures from REINZ show the housing crisis expanding throughout the country, says Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford. “We are seeing steep increases in median house prices in Central Otago Lakes – up 42.4% in the last ...
    1 week ago
  • Public invited to have say on homelessness
    People who are homeless, those who were once homeless, those working with the homeless and concerned New Zealanders are being asked to share their experiences and solutions to this growing issue with the Cross-Party Homelessness Inquiry. This inquiry was launched ...
    1 week ago
  • Sorry seems to be the hardest word
    An apology from Hekia Parata to the people of Christchurch is long overdue, Labour's Education spokesperson Chris Hipkins says. "As if the earthquakes weren't traumatic enough, Hekia Parata and the Ministry of Education then attacked the one thing that had ...
    1 week ago
  • Housing crisis affecting more than 98 per cent of NZ
    Labour’s new housing map shows the housing crisis is now affecting more than 98 per cent of New Zealand, Leader of the Opposition Andrew Little says. “Housing pressures have seen house prices rise faster than wages in all but four ...
    1 week ago
  • Uber might not be a taxi firm but it must pay tax
    Uber needs to explain how it paid only $9000 in tax when it earned $1m in revenue and is one of the fastest growing companies in the country, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “Uber New Zealand appears to be ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Tax changes should have been made 3 years ago
    National could have avoided the international stain on our reputation from the Panama Papers if it had let IRD’s planned review of foreign trusts go ahead three years ago, instead of now belatedly acting because of the Shewan recommendations, says ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Government must stop state house sell-off
    The Government must immediately pull the plug on its planned sell-off of state houses in order to stop the housing crisis getting any worse, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “While Paula Bennett is putting people into transit camps in ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Thoughts on Labour’s new housing policies
    The Labour Party launched its package of ideas to fix the housing crisis over the weekend. Their ideas match ours in many ways. This is good news, because it means that when we change the government we’ll be ready to ...
    GreensBy James Shaw
    2 weeks ago
  • Thoughts on Labour’s new housing policies
    The Labour Party launched its package of ideas to fix the housing crisis over the weekend. Their ideas match ours in many ways. This is good news, because it means that when we change the government we’ll be ready to ...
    GreensBy James Shaw
    2 weeks ago
  • Thoughts on Labour’s new housing policies
    The Labour Party launched its package of ideas to fix the housing crisis over the weekend. Their ideas match ours in many ways. This is good news, because it means that when we change the government we’ll be ready to ...
    GreensBy James Shaw
    2 weeks ago
  • Housing crisis drives household debt to record levels
    The Finance Minister must be woken from his slumber by Westpac’s report today that says house prices have largely driven household debt to record levels and are rising at a pace faster than other developed economies, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson ...
    2 weeks ago
  • English denies dividend decision made – Joyce should delete his account
    National must explain who is right in the Housing NZ dividend debacle, after Bill English said no decision had been made on a payment for the next two years, in direct contrast to Steven Joyce, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Pressure forces Govt to make policy on the hoof
    Steven Joyce’s surprise announcement that Housing NZ will no longer be used as a cash cow has forced the Finance Minister to make one of National’s biggest ever U-turns, Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson says. “After years of insisting the ...
    2 weeks ago
  • 10-fold more affordable houses under Labour
    New data showing homeownership rates continue to fall and more Kiwis than ever rent, highlights why Labour’s plan to build 10 times more affordable housing in Auckland is so desperately needed, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “Labour’s Affordable Housing ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Out of excuses, Brownlee resorts to scare tactics
    Gerry Brownlee’s ridiculous suggestion that Labour would nationalise Christchurch’s east frame shows National has resorted to scare tactics to hide its failure to build desperately needed affordable houses in our city, Labour's Canterbury spokesperson Megan Woods says. “Plans put in ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National all at sea in face of Labour’s housing plan
    Labour’s comprehensive plan to fix the housing crisis has left National Ministers flailing about, contradicting themselves and simply making things up, Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson says. “Steven Joyce has said in one breath that Labour’s plan represents a minor tweak ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Labour’s comprehensive plan to tackle housing crisis
    The next Labour Government has a comprehensive plan to tackle the housing crisis by building affordable houses and cracking down on speculators, says Leader of the Opposition Andrew Little. “The housing crisis is out of control and National has proven ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Housing NZ to look after people, not profits
    Labour will change Housing NZ from a corporation to a public service and use the dividends it formerly paid into the Crown coffers to maintain and build more state houses, Leader of the Opposition Andrew Little says. “Housing NZ should ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Government breaks rent subsidies promise
    National has broken a promise to subsidise the rent of 3000 low-income New Zealanders to make up for its state house sell-off, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “When John Key announced last year the Government would sell-off 8000 state ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Banks the latest to voice concerns over housing
    The Reserve Bank has revealed banks are becoming “more and more concerned” about the effects of the housing crisis, adding yet another weighty voice to the calls for action from the Government, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “The Reserve ...
    2 weeks ago
  • New official figures show DHB’s financial strife
    New figures from the Ministry of Health show 12 out of 20 district health boards have not been fully funded this year to cope with the aging population, says Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King.“The Ministry’s own figures to the Health ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Reserve Bank pleas for action from Government
    The Reserve Bank has stopped asking and is now pleading with the Government to take urgent action on the housing crisis, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “Deputy Governor Grant Spencer is clearly deeply concerned about the housing crisis. The ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Labour to house 5100 more homeless a year
    There would be 1400 new emergency accommodation places – enough to put a roof over the heads of 5100 homeless people a year – under Labour’s emergency housing policy announced today, Opposition Leader Andrew Little says. “Too many of our ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Chilcot Report shows Labour was right on Iraq
    The Chilcot Report released today shows John Key was wrong to call New Zealand “MIA” over the 2003 war in Iraq and Labour made the right decision not to send troops, Leader of the Opposition Andrew Little says. “At the ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Bigger class sizes on the way under National
    Hekia Parata’s refusal to rule out bigger class sizes as a result of her new bulk funding regime speaks volumes about the real agenda behind her proposed changes, Labour’s Education spokesperson Chris Hipkins says. “Hekia Parata has proposed that schools ...
    3 weeks ago
  • National refuses to put people ahead of politics
    National’s refusal to rise above partisan politics and support a parliamentary inquiry into homelessness is hugely disappointing, Leader of the Opposition Andrew Little says. “This is such an important issue that politics should be put aside and parties should work ...
    3 weeks ago
  • Minister in denial over Pacific home ownership fall
    As long as the Minister of Pacific Peoples continues to deny that Pacific families have had the greatest home-ownership falls under his Government’s watch, nothing serious will be done to fix the housing crisis, says Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a ...
    3 weeks ago
  • Social Bonds experiment a failure
    The Government’s much vaunted social bonds experiment is a multi-million dollar failure, says Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King.  “The news that the Wise Group has now withdrawn from the project to develop a pilot for mental health employment services, shows ...
    3 weeks ago
  • John Key must ‘get on with it’, not leave it to Reserve Bank
    John Key can’t just tell the Reserve Bank to ‘get on with’ fixing the housing crisis – he must act to tackle the rampant speculation in the housing market that has taken place under his watch, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson ...
    3 weeks ago
  • No gains for Māori while National in power
    The Minister of Māori Development needs to be honest with his people and admit his party’s ongoing support of the National Government has seen increasing inequality and decreasing prosperity for Māori, says Ikaroa-Rāwhiti MP Meka Whaitiri.  “Te Ururoa Flavell had ...
    3 weeks ago
  • No gains for Māori while National in power
    The Minister of Māori Development needs to be honest with his people and admit his party’s ongoing support of the National Government has seen increasing inequality and decreasing prosperity for Māori, says Ikaroa-Rāwhiti MP Meka Whaitiri.  “Te Ururoa Flavell had ...
    3 weeks ago

Public service advertisements by The Standard

Current CO2 level in the atmosphere