web analytics
The Standard
Advertising

Caption Contest

Written By: - Date published: 1:55 pm, June 19th, 2012 - 60 comments
Categories: caption contest, john key - Tags:

h/t deuto

60 comments on “Caption Contest”

  1. Dr Terry 1

    “Sour grapes”

  2. freedom 2

    i have tasted the fruit of our brighter future . .

  3. BLiP 3

    .

    ♪ ♫ . . . Nobody loves me
    Everybody hates me
    Going to the garden to eat worms
    Long thin slimy ones
    Short fat juicy ones
    Gooey, gooey, gooey, gooey, worms . . . ♫ ♪

  4. Hayden 4

    Urgh… was that you, Gerry?

  5. mac1 5

    “Hard hat and orange vest or not, I’m still a mean SOB.”

  6. tc 6

    mmmm….wrecking ball ..mmmmm.

  7. John M 7

    “I know Crosby-Textor keep telling me I need to get rid of this horrible guilty look but I can’t help it because everywhere I go I keep thinking people can see right through me. It’s really weird.”

  8. ad 8

    My government has started to rot
    So I will take it outside with a League Table spade
    And finally bury it

  9. ad 9

    Who said “Your remaining coalition option is Winston Peters?”

  10. lprent 10

    “Please believe me – I am not morphing into Jim Bolger”

  11. fatty 11

    shit…they’re beginning to catch onto my ‘rebuilding’ rhetoric…I could do with another quake

  12. tc 12

    Jeez I’m over this job but that damm Boag woman has all those tapes.

  13. ad 13

    Ech – this mutt John Banks is still humping my leg.

  14. ianmac 14

    “Piss off peasants! I am Untouchable!”

  15. ad 15

    “Winston recommended this new skin care range… I’m not sure.”

  16. taxicab 16

    Maybe my shit does stink !!

  17. Treetop 17

    “I’ll be positive until the day they drag me out.”

    NZ Listener June 23 – 29 2012 Issue 3763 Cover Story – PM Under Pressure

  18. tracey 18

    are there wage earners in the area???

  19. ad 19

    “I rule”

  20. Jackal 20

    “I hope my toupee doesn’t stick to this hardhat.”

  21. Nigel 21

    Brownlee went to Christchurch and all I got was this lousy fluoro vest.

  22. McFlock 22

    7% of kiwis will get to invest in power companies they already own.
    The question you’ve gotta ask yourself is: do I feel lucky?”
    Well do ya, punk?

  23. fender 23

    They gave me a blue hard-hat but how come my right ear is turning red; Help! Labour have put a curse on me.

    Witnessing the “smiling assassin” turn into the “unhappy fugitive”….priceless, and bloody expensive.

    I’ve met the Queen and her lot a couple of times now, I think it’s time I adopt the condescending scowl too, I’m practically a royal you know!

  24. ad 24

    Hmmm … Parata … Collins ….Hmm … Bronagh …Hmmm … Jelly … Hmmmm

  25. tc 25

    If I squint enough they all look like the little people I conned everyone into thinking I will look after.

    ‘heavy sigh’ when’s my next hawaii appointment.

  26. Murray Olsen 26

    Kin feel my rug sling. We need nutha rubber wool cup.

  27. Murray Olsen 27

    WhaleSpew taught me how to look tough.

  28. Kotahi Tane Huna 28

    No Xmas for John Key.

    apologies to M.E.S

    PS – it occurs to me that there is an anti-Semitic interpretation of this caption. Fuck racism.

  29. mick 29

    “is it just me ,or did someone take a dump in this hard hat ?”

  30. Kotahi Tane Huna 31

    “Mend your speech a little,
    Lest you may mar your fortunes.” WS

  31. Kotahi Tane Huna 32

    “Ingratitude, thou marble-hearted fiend,
    More hideous, when thou show’st thee in a child
    Than the sea-monster!” WS again. King Lear is full of captions for this photo.

  32. Te Reo Putake 33

    So how’s that third term looking, John?

  33. Jenny 34

    Hmm, is that coal over there?

    I better not get to close.

  34. fender 35

    Yeah I know my neolib drug habit has destroyed my looks, but once I’ve sold NZ off to my mates and I need a new identity I’ll get some work done by a surgeon in Los Angeles.

  35. fabregas4 36

    I got Warners that deal – I audition for leading Orc – I find out they have fucked off to Aussie!

  36. fender 37

    The defendant in the theft of NZ court case attempts to appear remorseful.

    The penny drops with Key that Brownlee is no good at woodwork either, he then decides to sack all technology teachers as revenge.

    Parata called me a rockstar, so I started doing drugs, now I look like Keith Richards. (sorry Keith)

    It’s not fair! I wanted to be the man that sold the world, not just a few small islands.

  37. deuto 38

    I’ll need more that this hard hat when the plebs (is that what I can smell?) wake up to what I am up to with their assets and country.

  38. Mike Boon 39

    pooh… is that socialism?

  39. ‘Well i’m nearly finished f—-n nz thats what my bosses told me to do at imf and goldman sachs,meryll lynch,bankers trust,it didnt quite work in the 80’s,i got a phone call,now i cant
    believe i have got such a great free ride and so much power i feel drunk.
    Who are you?
    Reply
    “The devil”

  40. hellonearthis 41

    I’m making cuts too, see I have sold my smile and wave.

  41. M 42

    John finds that after a bite of asset sales they have lost their savour.

  42. M 43

    Cheer up Johnny, that face isn’t anything that a good surgeon and few of your millions can’t fix.

    • mac1 43.1

      Your mention of a few millions, M, called to mind the Woody Guthrie song.

      “I don’t want your millions, Mister,
      I don’t want your diamond ring.
      All I want is the right to live, Mister,
      Give me back my job again.

      Now, I don’t want your Rolls-Royce, Mister,
      I don’t want your *Rolex watch.
      All I want’s just food for my babies,
      Give me back that job I got.

      We worked to build this country, Mister,
      While you enjoyed a life of ease.
      You’ve stolen all that we built, Mister,
      Now our hungry children they starve and freeze.

      Think me dumb if you wish, Mister,
      Call me green, or blue, or red.
      This one thing I sure know, Mister,
      My hungry babies must be fed.”

      * my change to lyrics here.

  43. BillODrees 44

    I can’t wait to get back to Hawaihi,  away from this bunch of assholes, and that is my lot too, not to mention the great unwashed…

  44. North 45

    What stink ? My shit doesn’t stink…….

  45. I am one mean son of a bitch. I am “The King of the Hostile Takeover”

  46. So – If you are worker then you are there to keep the country working and other than that I don’t give a rats arse about you!

  47. Lynne Renouf 48

    ” I know nussink…”

  48. Ordinary_Bloke 49

    Bloody Proles !

  49. joe90 50

    Oh dear, he’s Lord Percy.

    JK: After literally an hour’s ceaseless searching, I have succeeded in creating gold, pure gold.

    Lord Ashcroft: Are you sure?

    JK: Yes, my lord. Behold.

    Lord Ashcroft: John… it’s green.

    JK: That’s right, my lord.

    Lord Ashcroft: Yes, John, I don’t want to be pedantic or anything, but the colour of gold is gold. That’s why it’s called gold. What you have discovered, if it has a name, is ‘green’.

    JK: Oh, Lord Ashcroft, can it be true, that I hold here in my mortal hand a nugget of purest green?

    Lord Ashcroft: Indeed you do, John, except, of course, it’s not really a nugget, it’s more of a splat.

    JK: Well, yes, a splat today… but tomorrow — who knows, or dares to dream?

  50. t gilmour 51

    my soul shines through my face

  51. BernyD 52

    I have no answers to your questions, I wasn’t ready, Hangon …

    Behold my serious Face :-(

  52. Chris 53

    Ha! This is how to look tough Shearer.Hard hat,check,hi vis jacket,check.The b—–s wouldn’t give me my own clipboard, something to do with commercial sensitivity.Now, where’s my ukelele. All together now, Way Down upon the Swanee River.

  53. Chris 54

    Phoar, something stinks. OH, it’s me!

  54. jack 55

    No, I never heard of the name Dot.com.. got a problem with that?

Important links

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

1 2 3 7

  • Customs seeks big brother powers
    A proposal giving New Zealand Customs powers to compel anyone to provide passwords and encryption keys to their electronic devices is another step towards a surveillance society and should be strongly resisted, Labour’s ICT spokesperson Clare Curran said today.  “There… ...
    1 day ago
  • Playcentre Awareness Week – celebrating an icon!
    It’s not always easy being an icon and Playcentres tell me they are facing big challenges under the current economic and social circumstances. However this week Playcentres are celebrating their proud history and current contribution. Since 1941 the Playcentres have… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    1 day ago
  • Housing Accord not working – prices continue skyward
      The Government's Auckland Housing Accord isn't working as house prices continue to go through the roof, Labour's Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “The average Auckland house has gone up by $110,000 since the Accord came into effect 15 months… ...
    2 days ago
  • Justice for Teina Pora long overdue
    The Privy Council’s decision to quash Teina Pora’s convictions for the rape and murder of Susan Burdett could be the final chapter in a case that should have been closed years ago, Labour’s Justice Spokesperson Jacinda Ardern says. “Teina Pora… ...
    2 days ago
  • Ministers must answer questions on IRD blowout
    The current and previous Revenue Ministers must front up and explain how the child support system had a budget blowout from $30 million to $210 million in just four years, says Labour’s Revenue spokesperson Clayton Cosgrove. “Peter Dunne was Revenue… ...
    3 days ago
  • Curb stratospheric public CEO salaries
    A review of the way MPs’ pay is set should also look at ways to curb excessive rises in the salaries of public service chief executives, Labour Leader Andrew Little says. “Some of these CEOs have had stratospheric pay increases… ...
    3 days ago
  • 50 cents? Makes no sense.
    The minimum wage rose by 50 cents this month from 14.25 to 14.75. While it’s a small step towards ensuring minimum workers get a fair share, it’s important to remember that real wages only rose 1.5% while productivity rose by… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    4 days ago
  • The Serco corrections circus
    It should seem obvious to employers, private or public, that it’s important to do what you can to retain your best, most experienced staff. They make life easier for you because they’re effective, attentive and often respected by those around… ...
    GreensBy David Clendon MP
    4 days ago
  • Time for NZ to prohibit the killing of great apes
    That ban was widely hailed, and spurred efforts in other countries to get similar bans. However, apes are still being exploited, abused and killed, both in captivity and in the wild. Examples of cruelty, neglect and abuse abound. Apes are… ...
    GreensBy Mojo Mathers MP
    1 week ago
  • Auckland building consents: Tragic
    The only word to describe the latest building consent figures for Auckland is ‘tragic’, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “Whatever the Government is doing to address the Auckland housing crisis, it is clearly not working. ...
    1 week ago
  • A whiff of a new biosecurity scandal?
    A pest which could create havoc for New Zealand’s horticulture and agriculture sector must be as much a focus for the Government as hunting out fruit flies, Labour’s Biosecurity spokesperson Damien O’Connor says. “While the Ministry for Primary Industries is… ...
    1 week ago
  • Government shrugs off health sector crisis
    Despite new evidence showing that cuts to health spending are costing lives the Government continues to deny the sector is struggling, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says. “Health services in New Zealand are in crisis. ...
    1 week ago
  • Parata lowered the bar for failing charter school
    When Hekia Parata became aware that the Whangaruru charter school was experiencing major problems her first action was to drop standards by reducing the number of qualified teachers they had to employ, Labour’s Education spokesperson Chris Hipkins has revealed. “Hekia… ...
    1 week ago
  • National not being straight about the economy
    John Key and Bill English need to be straight with New Zealanders about the damage their failure to diversify the economy is doing, after new figures show export growth plunged due to a collapse in dairy exports, says Grant Robertson.… ...
    1 week ago
  • Mind the Gap
    This week the International Monetary Fund released a report on the wider economic value in closing the gender pay gap. When even the bastions of free-market economics start to raise concerns about gender pay gaps, we have to realise how… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    1 week ago
  • Labour will hold National to parental leave promise
    Labour will hold National to its promise to increase the support given to new parents of premature, multiple birth and babies born with disabilities, Labour’s paid parental leave campaigner Sue Moroney says. "I am naturally disappointed that after battling for… ...
    1 week ago
  • It was all just pillar talk
    Steven Joyce’s confession that he can no longer guarantee a pillar-free design for the New Zealand International Convention Centre shows the Government has abandoned its dream of creating an ‘iconic’ ‘world-class’ structure, says Labour Economic Development spokesperson David Clark. “Steven… ...
    1 week ago
  • Australians move on offshore speculators
    John Key might want to have a quiet word with Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott about Canberra's just-announced crack down on offshore speculators when he visits New Zealand this week, Labour's Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says."Tony Abbott's centre right government… ...
    1 week ago
  • Government at odds on overseas driver crashes
    National backbencher Jacqui Dean has spoken out about overseas driver crashes, putting herself at odds with Prime Minister John Key who is on record as saying it’s not a big issue, Labour’s Transport spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “I’m not surprised… ...
    1 week ago
  • Human Rights and the Palestine Crisis
    Last week I heard two Palestinians speak at Wellington events about the ongoing crisis in their country. Samar Sabawi spoke to a full house about the history of Palestine and gave us a lucid and disturbing account of the situation… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    1 week ago
  • Time to take real care of our kids
    An Amnesty International report has once again criticised New Zealand’s track record on looking after our kids, Labour’s Children’s spokesperson Jacinda Ardern says. The annual report, which looks at global human rights abuses highlights not only the fact that high… ...
    1 week ago
  • Manus Island and the New Zealand Government
    This week the Greens have participated in awareness activity about Manus Island, the refugee camp on an island in Papua New Guinea where Australia dumps asylum seekers. John Key says that he has every confidence in the Australian Government’s claim… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    2 weeks ago
  • Election Inquiry – Getting accessible voting on the agenda
    James Shaw has been doing a series of blogs on the Election Inquiry into last year’s general election.  I thought this was a great opportunity to raise an issue very dear to me – accessible voting. Last year’s general election… ...
    GreensBy Mojo Mathers MP
    2 weeks ago
  • RMA changes no solution to Christchurch housing
    Housing will continue to be a big issue in 2015. The latest Consumer Price Index, released last month, shows both good news and bad news on the housing front. After years of being the most expensive place to build a… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    2 weeks ago
  • Saving kokako in South Auckland’s Hunua Ranges
    It is amazing that you can hear the song of the endangered North Island kokako in South Auckland’s Hunua Ranges, less than 50 kms from the central city. A heavy schedule of policy workshops at the Green Party’s Policy… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    3 weeks ago
  • Let’s not turn a blind eye to human rights
    The Cricket World Cup has just opened in New Zealand, and it’s an opportunity for us to shine on the world stage. International sport can be a chance for us to build relationships with other countries, and examine what it… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    3 weeks ago
  • Its Just Not Cricket
    This week it was my privilege to work with Sri Lankan Tamil communities in this country and host Australian journalist and human rights advocate Trevor Grant. I knew a bit about Trevor from his biography but I didn’t know just… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    3 weeks ago
  • Time for NZ to #BeCrueltyFree
    The Government is about to progress the final stages of the Animal Welfare Amendment bill. This will be our last opportunity to get changes made to improve the bill to ensure a better outcome for animals. I have put forwards… ...
    GreensBy Mojo Mathers MP
    3 weeks ago
  • We want access!
    Access to buildings is a big issue for many New Zealanders. It looks like that, due to the hard work and persistence of people in the disability community, the Government may finally be starting to take access to buildings seriously.… ...
    GreensBy Mojo Mathers MP
    3 weeks ago
  • Greens call on Super Fund to divest from fossil fuels
    The Green Party today called on the New Zealand Superannuation Fund (the Fund) to divest from fossil fuels, starting immediately with coal. The call was accompanied with a new report, Making money from a climate catastrophe: The case for divesting… ...
    GreensBy Russel Norman MP
    3 weeks ago

Removed at the request of The Daily Blog.
Public service advertisements by The Standard

Current CO2 level in the atmosphere