web analytics
The Standard

Caption Contest

Written By: - Date published: 1:55 pm, June 19th, 2012 - 60 comments
Categories: caption contest, john key - Tags:

h/t deuto

60 comments on “Caption Contest”

  1. Dr Terry 1

    “Sour grapes”

  2. freedom 2

    i have tasted the fruit of our brighter future . .

  3. BLiP 3

    .

    ♪ ♫ . . . Nobody loves me
    Everybody hates me
    Going to the garden to eat worms
    Long thin slimy ones
    Short fat juicy ones
    Gooey, gooey, gooey, gooey, worms . . . ♫ ♪

  4. Hayden 4

    Urgh… was that you, Gerry?

  5. mac1 5

    “Hard hat and orange vest or not, I’m still a mean SOB.”

  6. tc 6

    mmmm….wrecking ball ..mmmmm.

  7. John M 7

    “I know Crosby-Textor keep telling me I need to get rid of this horrible guilty look but I can’t help it because everywhere I go I keep thinking people can see right through me. It’s really weird.”

  8. ad 8

    My government has started to rot
    So I will take it outside with a League Table spade
    And finally bury it

  9. ad 9

    Who said “Your remaining coalition option is Winston Peters?”

  10. lprent 10

    “Please believe me – I am not morphing into Jim Bolger”

  11. fatty 11

    shit…they’re beginning to catch onto my ‘rebuilding’ rhetoric…I could do with another quake

  12. tc 12

    Jeez I’m over this job but that damm Boag woman has all those tapes.

  13. ad 13

    Ech – this mutt John Banks is still humping my leg.

  14. ianmac 14

    “Piss off peasants! I am Untouchable!”

  15. ad 15

    “Winston recommended this new skin care range… I’m not sure.”

  16. taxicab 16

    Maybe my shit does stink !!

  17. Treetop 17

    “I’ll be positive until the day they drag me out.”

    NZ Listener June 23 – 29 2012 Issue 3763 Cover Story – PM Under Pressure

  18. tracey 18

    are there wage earners in the area???

  19. ad 19

    “I rule”

  20. Jackal 20

    “I hope my toupee doesn’t stick to this hardhat.”

  21. Nigel 21

    Brownlee went to Christchurch and all I got was this lousy fluoro vest.

  22. McFlock 22

    7% of kiwis will get to invest in power companies they already own.
    The question you’ve gotta ask yourself is: do I feel lucky?”
    Well do ya, punk?

  23. fender 23

    They gave me a blue hard-hat but how come my right ear is turning red; Help! Labour have put a curse on me.

    Witnessing the “smiling assassin” turn into the “unhappy fugitive”….priceless, and bloody expensive.

    I’ve met the Queen and her lot a couple of times now, I think it’s time I adopt the condescending scowl too, I’m practically a royal you know!

  24. ad 24

    Hmmm … Parata … Collins ….Hmm … Bronagh …Hmmm … Jelly … Hmmmm

  25. tc 25

    If I squint enough they all look like the little people I conned everyone into thinking I will look after.

    ‘heavy sigh’ when’s my next hawaii appointment.

  26. Murray Olsen 26

    Kin feel my rug sling. We need nutha rubber wool cup.

  27. Murray Olsen 27

    WhaleSpew taught me how to look tough.

  28. Kotahi Tane Huna 28

    No Xmas for John Key.

    apologies to M.E.S

    PS – it occurs to me that there is an anti-Semitic interpretation of this caption. Fuck racism.

  29. mick 29

    “is it just me ,or did someone take a dump in this hard hat ?”

  30. Kotahi Tane Huna 31

    “Mend your speech a little,
    Lest you may mar your fortunes.” WS

  31. Kotahi Tane Huna 32

    “Ingratitude, thou marble-hearted fiend,
    More hideous, when thou show’st thee in a child
    Than the sea-monster!” WS again. King Lear is full of captions for this photo.

  32. Te Reo Putake 33

    So how’s that third term looking, John?

  33. Jenny 34

    Hmm, is that coal over there?

    I better not get to close.

  34. fender 35

    Yeah I know my neolib drug habit has destroyed my looks, but once I’ve sold NZ off to my mates and I need a new identity I’ll get some work done by a surgeon in Los Angeles.

  35. fabregas4 36

    I got Warners that deal – I audition for leading Orc – I find out they have fucked off to Aussie!

  36. fender 37

    The defendant in the theft of NZ court case attempts to appear remorseful.

    The penny drops with Key that Brownlee is no good at woodwork either, he then decides to sack all technology teachers as revenge.

    Parata called me a rockstar, so I started doing drugs, now I look like Keith Richards. (sorry Keith)

    It’s not fair! I wanted to be the man that sold the world, not just a few small islands.

  37. deuto 38

    I’ll need more that this hard hat when the plebs (is that what I can smell?) wake up to what I am up to with their assets and country.

  38. Mike Boon 39

    pooh… is that socialism?

  39. ‘Well i’m nearly finished f—-n nz thats what my bosses told me to do at imf and goldman sachs,meryll lynch,bankers trust,it didnt quite work in the 80’s,i got a phone call,now i cant
    believe i have got such a great free ride and so much power i feel drunk.
    Who are you?
    Reply
    “The devil”

  40. hellonearthis 41

    I’m making cuts too, see I have sold my smile and wave.

  41. M 42

    John finds that after a bite of asset sales they have lost their savour.

  42. M 43

    Cheer up Johnny, that face isn’t anything that a good surgeon and few of your millions can’t fix.

    • mac1 43.1

      Your mention of a few millions, M, called to mind the Woody Guthrie song.

      “I don’t want your millions, Mister,
      I don’t want your diamond ring.
      All I want is the right to live, Mister,
      Give me back my job again.

      Now, I don’t want your Rolls-Royce, Mister,
      I don’t want your *Rolex watch.
      All I want’s just food for my babies,
      Give me back that job I got.

      We worked to build this country, Mister,
      While you enjoyed a life of ease.
      You’ve stolen all that we built, Mister,
      Now our hungry children they starve and freeze.

      Think me dumb if you wish, Mister,
      Call me green, or blue, or red.
      This one thing I sure know, Mister,
      My hungry babies must be fed.”

      * my change to lyrics here.

  43. BillODrees 44

    I can’t wait to get back to Hawaihi,  away from this bunch of assholes, and that is my lot too, not to mention the great unwashed…

  44. North 45

    What stink ? My shit doesn’t stink…….

  45. I am one mean son of a bitch. I am “The King of the Hostile Takeover”

  46. So – If you are worker then you are there to keep the country working and other than that I don’t give a rats arse about you!

  47. Lynne Renouf 48

    ” I know nussink…”

  48. Ordinary_Bloke 49

    Bloody Proles !

  49. joe90 50

    Oh dear, he’s Lord Percy.

    JK: After literally an hour’s ceaseless searching, I have succeeded in creating gold, pure gold.

    Lord Ashcroft: Are you sure?

    JK: Yes, my lord. Behold.

    Lord Ashcroft: John… it’s green.

    JK: That’s right, my lord.

    Lord Ashcroft: Yes, John, I don’t want to be pedantic or anything, but the colour of gold is gold. That’s why it’s called gold. What you have discovered, if it has a name, is ‘green’.

    JK: Oh, Lord Ashcroft, can it be true, that I hold here in my mortal hand a nugget of purest green?

    Lord Ashcroft: Indeed you do, John, except, of course, it’s not really a nugget, it’s more of a splat.

    JK: Well, yes, a splat today… but tomorrow — who knows, or dares to dream?

  50. t gilmour 51

    my soul shines through my face

  51. BernyD 52

    I have no answers to your questions, I wasn’t ready, Hangon …

    Behold my serious Face :-(

  52. Chris 53

    Ha! This is how to look tough Shearer.Hard hat,check,hi vis jacket,check.The b—–s wouldn’t give me my own clipboard, something to do with commercial sensitivity.Now, where’s my ukelele. All together now, Way Down upon the Swanee River.

  53. Chris 54

    Phoar, something stinks. OH, it’s me!

  54. jack 55

    No, I never heard of the name Dot.com.. got a problem with that?

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

1 2 3 8

  • Tragedy must be impetus for better training
    The Police Minister needs to explain why unsworn and inadequately trained custody officers were put in a situation of caring for a medically unwell prisoner on a busy Saturday night, Labour’s Police spokesperson Kelvin Davis says. Commenting on an IPCA… ...
    1 day ago
  • Government must be more transparent on investor state clauses
    The Government must be more transparent around the draft investor state dispute settlements in the TPPA, says David Parker, Labour’s Export Growth and Trade spokesperson. “Labour is pro trade, and is proud of the FTA we negotiated with China, which… ...
    1 day ago
  • Protect university staff and student voices
    The Green Party believes ensuring student and staff representation on university councils is important. National recently passed a law reducing the size of university governance councils while increasing the proportion of the members nominated by, guess who… Steven Joyce. The… ...
    GreensBy Gareth Hughes MP
    2 days ago
  • C’mon Nick what’s the truth on the RMA
     “Nick Smith has got to fess up and tell us what is happening to his much vaunted RMA reform, Labour’s Environment spokesperson Megan Woods says.  “With just a day and a half to go before the polls open in Northland,… ...
    2 days ago
  • SSC salaries sink National’s spending spin
    Massive pay rises at the State Services Commission prove National’s claims of clamping down on spending in the public sector are simply fantasy, Labour’s State Services spokesman Kris Faafoi says. “Salaries in this one department are almost $70,000 more than… ...
    2 days ago
  • We can fix Christchurch and keep our assets
    The Christchurch City Council is seeking public feedback on its proposed 10 year plan for Council revenue and spending. This is probably one of the most significant 10 year plans ever to be written by a local council because of… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    2 days ago
  • Epidemic of serious assaults in our prisons
    Labour wants stab proof vests and pepper spray for all corrections officers to keep them safe from the epidemic of serious prison assaults that are occurring around the country’s jails, says Labour’s Corrections Spokesperson Kelvin Davis.  “There have been five… ...
    2 days ago
  • Listen to the locals Hekia!
    Minister Hekia Parata needs to understand what consultation is, Port Hills MP Ruth Dyson says. “It means you have to listen to what people say in their submissions and then be able to demonstrate you have considered their views when… ...
    3 days ago
  • Thanking our caregivers
    Let’s celebrate and thank our caregivers. This week is caregivers’ week. It’s a chance to acknowledge the thousands of women, and occasional other person, who are caring for the elderly and disabled in our country. They hold people’s lives in… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    3 days ago
  • Mana Post shop the best outcome for community
    Labour MP for Mana Kris Faafoi has welcomed the move to place the services from the Mana Post shop to a local small business. “This is the best outcome for the community we could ask for. All the vital services… ...
    3 days ago
  • Labour looks to put the tea back into entitlements
    Labour is moving to restore the rights of Kiwis to take tea and rest breaks, Leader Andrew Little says. “Within months of the Government’s Employment Relations Amendment Bill becoming law we are already seeing some of our largest companies, including… ...
    3 days ago
  • Desperate money grab to keep Ruataniwha afloat
    The Hawke’s Bay Regional Investment Company’s decision to borrow $4 million to keep the Ruataniwha project afloat is a case of throwing ratepayer’s good money after bad, says Labour’s Water spokesperson Meka Whaitiri and Napier MP Stuart Nash.   “This bridging… ...
    4 days ago
  • Roundup: UN finds it “probably” causes cancer
    At last the UN has spoken out against the widely-used weedkiller Roundup. The UN’s International Agency for Research on Cancer has identified glyphosate, the principle ingredient in Roundup, as a probable carcinogen. They also include as probable carcinogens the insecticides… ...
    GreensBy Steffan Browning MP
    4 days ago
  • Invermay petition delivered to Parliament
    Labour’s Economic Development spokesperson David Clark handed over a 12,450 signature Save Invermay petition to Dunedin South MP Clare Curran on the steps of Parliament today.  “The level of support that the petition has received across New Zealand is overwhelming,”… ...
    4 days ago
  • Redcliffs School closure plan wrong
    The Government’s proposal to consult on the closure of Redcliffs School not only goes against the best geotechnical advice, but more importantly goes against the best educational outcomes for Redcliffs children and the health of our community, Port Hills MP… ...
    4 days ago
  • Cotton On first to test the tea breaks law
    Australian corporate Cotton On, the first major business operating in New Zealand to exploit the new tea breaks law, could walk away from negotiations if it doesn’t get its own way, says Labour Party Labour Relations spokesperson Iain Lees-Galloway.  “Cotton… ...
    5 days ago
  • World water day: eight rivers in one day
    Our photo journey started by the Waioweka (also known as Waioeka) River which flows from Te Urewera to Opotiki, and is surrounded by beautiful forest. The water looked great! Kopeopeo Canal It contrasted greatly with the Kopeopeo Canal near Whakatane,… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    5 days ago
  • Council can stop Port’s encroachment on harbour
    As owner of the Port of Auckland, Council can stop the wharf extension and reclamation if it wants to, says Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Goff. ‘As owner the council is custodian of the port and harbour on behalf of… ...
    5 days ago
  • We all benefit when education meets everyone’s needs
    As Dyslexia week comes to a close,  Dyslexia NZ have reminded us that around 10% of our citizens are dyslexic and are entitled to better support. One of their strongest arguments is that failure to provide identification and support for… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    5 days ago
  • State house sell-off fiasco a gift for developers
    The Government’s property developer mates are the only people who can salvage National’s state house sell-off now the Salvation Army has torpedoed the policy, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “Having been cynically used by the Government as the poster… ...
    5 days ago
  • National reinforces inequality in schools
    The National Government’s flagship programme Investing in Educational Success is clearly reinforcing inequality in the school system, Labour’s Education spokesperson Chris Hipkins says. “The analysis released today by the NZEI clearly shows schools in wealthier suburbs are the main beneficiaries… ...
    5 days ago
  • Big change starts small
    Today marks Race Relations Day in New Zealand. Race Relations Day coincides with the International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination.  The United Nations General Assembly chose this day as it marks the day in 1960 when 69 peaceful… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    1 week ago
  • Israel, Palestine and the question of statehood
    The knife-edge election in Israel complicates the Middle East situation, even more than usual. The Prime Minister-elect, Binyamin Netanyahu, is moving to form a government. Netanyahu has indicated that, during his term, a Palestinian state would not be established. That… ...
    GreensBy Kennedy Graham MP
    1 week ago
  • Christchurch transport goes backwards
    The Green Party has a vision of a liveable, accessible Christchurch with a sense of identity and strong connected communities. Instead, 2013 census figures released by Statistics New Zealand reveal a fractured community, and tell a story of frustrated Christchurch commuters… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    1 week ago
  • Super Fund should divest $140 million in high risk coal
    The Green Party is calling on the New Zealand Super Fund to divest their $140 million investment in coal companies that are vulnerable to becoming financially stranded according to a damning new report from Oxford University. The Smith School of… ...
    GreensBy Russel Norman MP
    1 week ago
  • Learn to count with Mark Osborne: 0 + 1 = ?
    The adage about the first casualty of war being truth is one that might often be applied to the political battle for hearts and minds, and of course votes. A rather unfortunate example of this has been arriving in the… ...
    GreensBy David Clendon MP
    1 week ago
  • Is it still a safety net when the holes are this big?
    Over the last few weeks I’ve been wondering how safe our income support system is for people, especially those with cognitive or learning disabilities. I’ve been trying to support a young man who was severely injured in a workplace accident… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    1 week ago
  • Pasifika – protecting the Pacific needed now more than ever.
    Over the weekend thousands of Aucklanders flocked to celebrate our city’s diverse Pacific communities and cultures at the annual Pasifika festival and the Greens were there to join them. The Pasifika festival has been held every year for 23… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    2 weeks ago
  • Sounds Stakeholders Seek a Sustainable Future
    It was heartening to see a large number of people who care about the Marlborough Sounds come together at the Marlborough Marine Futures’ forum in Picton on March 8. Fellow Green MP Steffan Browning, who lives in Marlborough, and I… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    2 weeks ago
  • Solid Energy, who will clean up the mess?
    What can you say? This state-owned coal miner is facing some very serious problems. They haven’t run a profit in years, have required two Government bailouts, laid-off more than 700 staff and look like they need a third injection of… ...
    GreensBy Gareth Hughes MP
    2 weeks ago

Removed at the request of The Daily Blog.
Public service advertisements by The Standard

Current CO2 level in the atmosphere