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The Standard

Caption Contest

Written By: - Date published: 8:44 pm, May 8th, 2013 - 95 comments
Categories: Economy, you couldn't make this shit up - Tags:

Well Key’s cornerstone policy, the one that many commentators claimed was him showing his mettle, has come to fruition. And it’s such a poison chalice he didn’t even have the guts to show up for the big reveal in person (spoiler: less than half the number of people who signed up to oppose asset sales signed up to buy).

So let’s mark this nadir in political history with a caption contest. And who better to provide the mirth than the classic comedy duo of English and Ryall – flogging our assets together since 1990.

Asset sales fuckwits

95 comments on “Caption Contest”

  1. IrishBill 1

    *sotto* Jesus Christ Bill. They’re not falling for it a second time. Wrap it up and let’s get the hell out of here.

  2. karol 2

    Key’s voice in ear piece “Fucks sake, guys! Try to look like you’re singing from the same song sheet”.

  3. vto 3

    i’m tired and i want to go bed …..

  4. r0b 4

    “So in short, privatisation is a flop, the economy is as dead as Wellington, and we don’t know how to fix it. Let us pray…”

  5. boonman 5

    Bill: $2.50 is a fair price blah blah blah mums and dads blah blah blah labour greens north korea economic sabotage blah blah blah…

    Tony: this sudoku’s a bitch.

  6. mac1 6

    “You want me to comment on Aaron Gilmore’s good taste, when Tony Ryall stands so sartorially stentorian behind me?”

  7. Jimmie 7

    Well that is one way of spinning this….

    Another way you could look at it is that MRP once it lists will have many more shareholders than any other listed company in NZ – also they are saying that 68% of those who signed up have no CSN number ( my better half and I) so are a large proportion of 1st time investors.

    However, I am pleased by the looney left attack on the float as at $2.50 per share is a nice discount on the possible $2.80 initial price so great go for red/greens.

    And with the recent failure of the CIR petition I would say that NZ has voted twice no thanks to the leftie agenda – so sad, gotta cry a river.

    Oh and there is an extra 1.7 billion to help pay for schools and hospitals that don’t have to be borrowed to pay for. (And don’t go on about lost dividends – according to Shearer & Norman they are disposable and not so important)

    So yeah a great deal all round…..

    • IrishBill 7.1

      68% of those who signed up have no CSN number

      You know Jimmie, rather than parroting lines from Farrar you should be asking yourself if you really want to put your hard-earned cash into something that Key refused to front for and Farrar is only buying into as far as he has to to maintain face.

      • Jimmie 7.1.1

        Well yes it is – we put in $4K from our hard earned savings and have no regrets. This will be good for us long term and I am happy to have some personal ownership in MRP.

        • Colonial Viper 7.1.1.1

          Buyers remorse comes later, idiot

        • Mike S 7.1.1.2

          You sound happy with your investment, and why not. By all accounts you will still get a good return on your MRP shares in the future, maybe just a bit less than you would have without NZPower coming into force after the next election. You believe you got a good price also, so you would support the NZPower policy then? (Seeing as though it is the reason you are pleased about your investment)

          Spare a thought for the vast majority of Kiwi’s though. They couldn’t afford shares and will see the their power company lose 49% of it’s value immediately (transferred to you and other investors) and they will be missing out on future public services due to the loss of future dividends.

          • Jimmie 7.1.1.2.1

            Support the NZ Power policy – no not really as I’ve never seen any system where big central government can produce an efficient service that delivers good results to the end customers (Think 1980’s Telecom)

            Plus when all the other Lab/Green tax and spend policies are added voters would be deluding themselves to think that they will be financially better off by voting to the left.

            Also Shearer and Norman have made it clear that they don’t mind losing dividend payments from the power companies so the dividend income stream is reduced under both National and Lab/Greens.

            The difference is that Key will have 1.7 billion next week to plug into infrastructure that he never borrowed and under Lab/Greens in 2014 we will have a new department of paper pushers that will somehow magicly conjur up 5000 jobs through increased economic activity?

            (Though how by giving $300 with one hand and taking twice that with the other hand is supposed to create jobs is beyond me)

            I mean please – its a lost battle.

            • Ross 7.1.1.2.1.1

              Jimmie

              The overwhelming majority of NZers didn’t buy shares.

              Selling MRP will add $100 million to the deficit each year. You’re one of the few people I know who thinks that’s good.

              • Alanz

                “The overwhelming majority of NZers didn’t buy shares.”

                Umm … some mums and dads have decided gifting the money to sons and daughters to help them build the deposit for purchasing their first homes, thanks to the runaway housing market that has failed the younger generation.

            • Colonial Viper 7.1.1.2.1.2

              no not really as I’ve never seen any system where big central government can produce an efficient service that delivers good results to the end customers (Think 1980′s Telecom)

              We don’t have a big central government you idiot

              Think of the mail service since the 19th century for gods sakes.

              1980’s Telecom??? That’s pre-IT/internet boom of course it was slower than today!

    • Ross 7.2

      Jimmie,

      I’ll have whatever you’re having. Less than 3% of the population bought shares. Obviously the vast majority didn’t want a bar of this sham sale, or they couldn’t afford to buy shares. If you’re trying to spin this as a good news story, you’re going to have to do a lot better than that.

      The CIR petition hasn’t failed. You’ll probably find that when the dust settles there’ll be about 3 times as many petitioners as there are shareholders. It makes you think.

      • felix 7.2.1

        Makes Jimmie think? Don’t count on it.

      • Jimmie 7.2.2

        3% of the population?? Huh just more spin. Why not make it sound worse and say .0000001 of the world population bought shares so it is a fail.

        The reality is that despite 3 years of leftie harping on about assets sales that it has gone through, the government has raised 1.7 billion for building other assets, ans over 100,000 kiwis are now personal owners of MRP.

        Oh and the sky hasn’t fallen on our heads.

        Really the left have to find another issue to bleat about as if you look at the miserable turnout to the various protests the rank and file know that this is flogging a long dead horse.

        • Colonial Viper 7.2.2.1

          Well, in that case why are you so fearful and shrill?

        • Ross 7.2.2.2

          “Why not make it sound worse and say .0000001 of the world population bought shares so it is a fail.”

          The rest of the world couldn’t buy shares.

          The fact that more than 97% didn’t buy shares is apparently of no concern to you. Surely, if this was easy money, every NZer would have been keen to buy. What went wrong?

        • geoff 7.2.2.3

          Why not make it sound worse and say .0000001 of the world population bought shares so it is a fail.

          Hah. Ironically, you’re absolutely correct, public companies and shareholders have been a miserable fail, as you point out it has only facilitated the robbing of the world’s wealth by a tiny minority.

        • vto 7.2.2.4

          “raised 1.7 billion for building other assets,” ……
          1.7 billion is how much was unnecessarily given to investors in the dodgy South Canterbury Finance.

          ” ans over 100,000 kiwis are now personal owners of MRP.”……
          ans over 3,900,000 kiwis are not now owners of MRP

          I am continuously astounded at the lack of brain cells in te world……

          silly jimmie

        • Mike S 7.2.2.5

          “Oh and the sky hasn’t fallen on our heads.”

          Correct. And you still bought shares knowing about the definite possibility that the NZPower policy will be implemented. So obviously, you and other investors feel that you can still make a good return on your shares despite NZPower? So why all the doomsday type talk from potential investors? (unless they are greedy and wanting more than a good return)

          Just as a matter of interest, MRP is forecasting somewhere around 4-5% net dividend return per share

          So you would increase your $4000 to around $4200 after a year. If we take an average inflation rate of say 2.5% (avg since 2001 is 2.7%) for this year (the real inflation rate will be much higher than this, but we aren’t told about that), your ‘real’ return will be around $100. (let’s not think about the possibility of inflation jumping to 5% at some stage, which is it’s average for the last 50 years)

          For the amount of shares you’re buying (1600), isn’t it a slightly risky investment with risks such as the possibility of NZPower on the horizon and Tiwai Pt winding down, as well as other standard risks, considering that you can get over 4% at the bank even in the current low interest environment with no risk. (and interest rates will rise). The default Kiwisaver options yield around 5% per annum over 5 years. I can’t see long term MRP share prices increasing substantially unless profits are increasing every year, which we would assume they won’t do as much under a NZPower regulatory environment. You stated it is a long term investment for you.So how do you see the investment as being “good for us” long term?

        • CnrJoe 7.2.2.6

          its not original Jimmie but – what do the govt sell every year after to ‘build other assets?’

      • Jagg 7.2.3

        “about 3 times as many petitioners as there are shareholders”

        Over 400,000 went to the trouble of lodging their interest and asked for the prospectus.
        113,000 people still put their money where their mouth is – even after a concerted sabotage effort.

        On the flipside…
        300,000 people made the earth-shattering commitment of picking up a pen – not even enough to get a “mandate” for a referendum. Hardly worthy of comparison.

        • Ross 7.2.3.1

          Maths isn’t your strong point I see.

          • Jagg 7.2.3.1.1

            Don’t see your point – 400,000 people registered interest, that should be the comparable statistic. I think that shows greater commitment than signing a piece of paper.

            113,000 put their money where their mouth is – that is hugely significant, would 113,000 signatories of the petition commit to anything more than ink a piece of paper shoved in front of their face by some funded lackey???

            • Te Reo Putake 7.2.3.1.1.1

              Signing up for the prospectus took even less effort than signing the petition. What was your point again?

              • Jagg

                Sorry??

                Spelling your name and remembering your address when someone shoves a piece of paper under your nose takes more effort than going to a website and filling out your details when you are seriously considering an investment decision?

                Ross suggests that numbers aren’t my strong suit well I can assure you that I have a particularly strong background in behavioural finance and the complexities that committing money add to a decision-making process are far beyond those of signing a petition…. if that logic is beyond you then I’m afraid you’re not worth my time.

                • Colonial Viper

                  Behavioural finance? What a joke.

                  if that logic is beyond you then I’m afraid you’re not worth my time.

                  Do feel free to go if you believe that.

                  • Jagg

                    “Do feel free to go if you believe that.”

                    I might just do that and leave you at peace in your echo chamber.

                  • McFlock

                    Behavioural finance?
                    Another mumpty who thinks economics is a science.

                • Murray Olsen

                  Behavioural finance? Does that mean working out why people are happy when they win Lotto? I’m afraid you’re not worth my time.

                • felix

                  “Spelling your name and remembering your address when someone shoves a piece of paper under your nose takes more effort than going to a website and filling out your details when you are seriously considering an investment decision?”

                  Seeing as anyone could register anyone else’s name on the website, yes. No effort required on your dog’s part at all, for example.

                  You could say the same for the petition of course, but the numbers would be against you. As it turns out, 25% of the signatures can be discounted. In the case of registering for shares, 75% can be discounted.

                  As has already been noted, maths isn’t your strong suit.

        • Te Reo Putake 7.2.3.2

          300,000 is more than 115,000. 4 million is also more than 115.000. I’m proud that the vast majority of my fellow Kiwis aren’t going within cooee of this sham.

          • Jagg 7.2.3.2.1

            See above.

            Hugely arrogant to suggest that 4m NZers are opposed let alone you, in any way shape or form, speak for your “fellow kiwis” when 400,000 got off their collective arses to register interest.

            Also doesn’t take away from the fact that you couldn’t muster enough of your so-called “fellow kiwis” to secure a mandate for a non-binding referendum.

            • Colonial Viper 7.2.3.2.1.1

              3/4 of those “registering interest” turned out to be uninterested when the money was due

              • Jagg

                How many people would have signed your petition if they were later asked to contribute even just a token $10 to the cause?

                • Colonial Viper

                  Yeah I agree, democracies started going shit when poor people were given the vote

                  • Jagg

                    That is not my argument and you know it – I am saying that signing the petition is no more of a commitment than registering.

                    If anyone had to make a further commitment to your cause, be it in the form of time or a token donation the proportion would be far less than 113/400.

                    The only close valid comparison would be if the rallys attracted >113,000 – frankly, they didn’t.

                    • Colonial Viper

                      You still don’t get it do you.

                      You’re judgements on what is a success or not matter fuck all. This mediocre MRP share float is the financial and market interest high tide of National’s entire asset sale programme. It’s all going out from here. They’re screwed in 2014.

            • Ross 7.2.3.2.1.2

              You mean 400,000 sat at their computers…hardly an onerous task.

              The fact remains that almost 3 times as many people said let’s have a referendum.

              • Jagg

                Oh you really can’t be redeemed if you think it is materially more difficult to sign a petition than lodge interest in an IPO.

                Colonial Viper, well maybe the left’s entirely vindictive sabotage campaign had something to do with it, which if you asked Clint in private I’m sure he would confirm that you’re all ecstatic about.

                • Clockie

                  Well, actually, having to stop what you’re doing, whether it’s shopping or enjoying a day out or dealing with a whiny child, to balance a clip board on your arm on a wet and windy day while you scribble your details on a mangled bit of paper and share a word or too with the dedicated volunteer who gave up half a day on a Saturday morning to collect signatures because they think it’s morally reprehensible to sell public assets, demands a bit more commitment from both the aforementioned parties than tooling around on your computer for thirty seconds in the comfort of your own home. Having said that, many people signed the petition on line. Do they win your seal of approval for their commitment? Oh, and quite a few of those same people have also been making donations to the Green Party and other causes they believe in so don’t go getting too ridiculous with your spurious value judgments about other peoples commitment to their beliefs and ideals.

            • Te Reo Putake 7.2.3.2.1.3

              “Also doesn’t take away from the fact that you couldn’t muster enough of your so-called “fellow kiwis” to secure a mandate for a non-binding referendum.”

              And yet we’ll still be having a referendum on the issue and the Government, and you, will be shown to be representing only the tiny minority; the most venal and the disloyal of my fellow kiwis. Funny old world, eh.

              • Jagg

                “most venal and the disloyal of my fellow kiwis”

                Holding a desire for our country to have functioning and healthy capital markets to fuel growth and job creation is about as far removed from being venal and disloyal as a kiwi can possibly get – I’m 8th generation which should (just about) make me kiwi enough to credibly hold that opinion.

                • Pascal's bookie

                  Oh for goodness sake.

                  This claytons IPO isn’t a sign of healthy capital markets. If we had healthy capital markets we wouldn’t need to be flooding them with govt backed listings that require bribes in the form of ‘loayalty shares’. And what’s the point of that if it’s not political?

                  The point of having ‘deeper’ markets is that more capital is available for investment, so why encourage people to park their money in these companies with an implicit govt backing?

                  How does that encourage “growth and job creation”? The companies aren’t getting the money, the crown is. What these ‘floats’ do is take money that might have been invested somewhere else, and give it to the crown. It’s not a sign of ‘healthy capital markets’ it’s a sign that people in NZ with money to invest can’t find anything to do with it other than give it the government in return for a share of the dividends provided by a crown built enterprise.

                  From a right wing perspective it’s a damning indictment on our private sector and capital markets.

                • felix

                  What Pascal said, and also too:

                  If your investment decisions really are motivated by “a desire for our country to have functioning and healthy capital markets to fuel growth and job creation” then you’re a terrible investor.

                  Markets allocate capital to the companies that, on aggregate, investors believe will perform best in those investors’ own interest.

                  Frankly if you have any motivation other than a desire to see the best return on your investment then you’re not helping the market to function at all. You’re actually hindering the market from performing its primary role.

                  Some capitalist you turned out to be.

          • Jimmie 7.2.3.2.2

            So how come these 4 million kiwis voted John Key back in in 2011?

            • Te Reo Putake 7.2.3.2.2.1

              They didn’t. He barely scraped in, and without a mandate to sell the assets.

              • Jagg

                Now I know that I’ve been accused of being poor at maths, so I should clarify, last I checked:

                1,059,000 > 309,000?

                Am I missing something when it comes to mandates?

              • McFlock

                Jimmie thinks nz has more than 8,000,000 voters?
                Faboo.

                • Jagg

                  Pray tell when was there EVER a vote held where 4,000,000 individuals voted against asset sales?

                  The general election is the only thing to go off here – 1 million + voted for National in the polling booths, which by implication means Te Reo is suggesting there are (AT LEAST) 5 million registered voters for him to have 4 million “fellow kiwis”.

                  • McFlock

                    Amazing how you take random words and throw them together.

                    Maybe we should sort out the entire mandate thing with, oh, a sort of vote where only one issue is considered rather than a hodge-podge of personalities and policies. It’s a word beginning with “r”, I think.

              • tricledrown

                shagg if the all blacks had lost the world cup key wouldn’t be PM!

  8. BLiP 8

    We know New Zealanders have swallowed our policies in the past, but this time we are offering a new passage in our history. National Ltd™ will be issuing each New Zealand resident shareholder with a free bottle of lube.

  9. Appleboy 9

    Jimmie – well done bgig spender , hey you put $4000 dollars in, and hey if you double your money in eight to ten years you’ll have made…$4000. Woohooo. You idiot – we..and you already owned the assets..and your $4000 profit will buy fuck all then.

    • geoff 9.1

      That’s the trouble with wee wankers like oor jimmie, they don’t care that the end result of their grubby conceit is that financially vulnerable people are made to further suffer just so jimmie and his ilk can enjoy slightly nicer wine during their next holiday to the Gold Coast.

      • Jimmie 9.1.1

        Ok so the government spending 1.7 billion on hospitals and schools without borrowing will make finacially vulnerable people suffer??

        Play the other one that goes jingle bells.

        And FYI I’ve never been to the gold coast and I don’t drink wine

        • vto 9.1.1.1

          is that your caption?

          or your contest?

        • Ross 9.1.1.2

          “Ok so the government spending 1.7 billion on hospitals and schools without borrowing…”

          Hmmm what happens when the money is spent, and we need to spend more money on schools and hospitals? Will we sell another asset? Then what? We do it all over again?

          That’s plain dumb.

  10. Jackal 10

    “Now for my next trick I’m going to teach your mum and dad investors to suck eggs” said Mr English.

  11. tc 11

    Slurring into earpiece ‘You are my number 2 Blingy boy, here’s another stinker to front and sign off on…..you really should’ve done better in 02 Mr charisma like me in 08 and 11….’

  12. Te Reo Putake 12

    Er, and if, by any chance, you’re thinking of putting SHARE FLOAT FAIL on the front page tomorrow, Tony’s got copies of the rest of Aaron Gilmore’s txts for you. Play ball and we’ll let you have the Hanmer hotel security cam tape on Friday. He agreed to go quietly if John took him out for a drink.

    or:

    26% of those who got the prospectus bought shares, so, ah, more popular than me, then.

    or:

    And now Tony will give you each a copy of the list of excuses we’ll be using …

  13. fender 13

    We proudly announce that less than 3% of NZers have some money.

  14. ianmac 14

    26.9% Retail
    8.6% NZ Institutions
    13.5% Overseas
    49% owned by Kiwi Mums and Dads. = about 55,000 Mums and Dads. Not so wonderful???

    • DH 14.1

      By the look of it they’re playing creative accounting ianmac, their percentages look to be worked back to include the 51% kept by the Govt. The ‘paper said NZ institutions bought $300 million worth and that’s 8.6% of the full market value not the 49% sold. I’d think the retail investors are mum & dad. Of the shares sold I think it goes like this;

      53.8% Retail $914 million
      17.2% NZ Institutions $292 million
      27.0% Overseas $459 million

      That 17.2% is pretty concerning, I assume “NZ Institutions” includes the mobs with all the Kiwisaver cash and they really haven’t spent much here.

      Interesting maths on the Retail side, average of about $8000 spent per investor.

      • BLiP 14.1.1

        I think the Kiwi Saver crew are pretty flush at the moment. Didn’t they sell the New Zealand forests to the Chinese last week? Timing is everything.

  15. Blue 15

    “Um….yeah. John ran off ten minutes ago muttering something about Hawaii. I tried to get Gerry to do it, but he told me to get stuffed. So then I promised Tony the deputy leadership if he’d come with me. Oh, God, why is it always me?”

  16. Mr Interest 16

    O Come All Ye Faithful
    Joyful and triumphant,
    O come ye, O come ye to Bethlehem.
    Come and behold Him,
    Born the King of Angels;
    O come, let us adore Him,
    O come, let us adore Him,
    O come, let us adore Him,
    Christ the Lord.

    O Sing, choirs of angels,
    Sing in exultation,
    Sing all that hear in heaven God’s holy word.
    Give to our Father glory in the Highest;
    O come, let us adore Him,
    O come, let us adore Him,
    O come, let us adore Him,
    Christ the Lord.

    All Hail! Lord, we greet Thee,
    Born this happy morning,
    O Jesus! for evermore be Thy name adored.
    Word of the Father, now in flesh appearing;
    O come, let us adore Him,
    O come, let us adore Him,
    O come, let us adore Him,
    Christ the Lord.

  17. fender 17

    Pre-registration ejaculation proves hard to wash off.

    Ryall studies Keys apology for rorting pre-registration process before reading it to the media.

  18. vto 18

    We are taking $1,700,000,000 from good ordinary kiwis and giving it to South Canterbury Finance investors. No we’re not, we are giving $400,000,000 of it to farmers for their water takes. I mean, no that’s not right. We are investing this $1,squiggly,000 in … um, well

  19. Brian 19

    “hang on – it says $50,000.00 here”

  20. risildo 20

    Vile & Bonehead strike again

  21. North 21

    Gok Wong resigns post of Tony’s fashion adviser. “Some jobs are just too big……”

    • Adrian 21.1

      ” We now don’t own a fair bit of what we did own before we didn’t own what we did own after we did own what we now don’t own. That’s what John said to say anyway and yeah, nah I haven’t got a fuckin clue what it means either. What do you think, Tony” . “Fucked if I know, I’m only here because I get a free suit from Letsalllooklikewankers, if I get on TV”.

    • North 21.2

      Sorry……Gok Wan.

  22. Paul Campbell 22

    “Why yes we think it’s a great investment, you invested right Tony? Tony?”

  23. felix 23

    “It’s no good Bill. I think they still remember who won last time.”

    “You mean the election, Tony?”

    “No Bill, I mean the 1980s.”

  24. felix 24

    Neil Finn and Noel Crombie experiment with phase cancellation.

  25. (ryall – to self)

    “..must – not – smirk..!”

    phillip ure..

  26. ryall:..

    “..just making sure bill is following the agreed-script..”

    phillip ure..

  27. english:..”..”..Only if you have the core competencies will you be able to action the key deliverables for your relevant stakeholders going forward..”

    ryall (to self) “..whoar..!..nice one bill..!..”

    phillip ure..

  28. english:..”oh..!”

    (question:..where exactly is ryalls’ right hand..?..)

    phillip ure..

  29. english:..to the mug-punters/former owners of mighty river power…

    “..now..when you bend over and grab yr ankles for us..make sure you grease up first…

    ..and make sure you say ‘thank you!’..when we’re finished..”

    philllip ure..

  30. (bad-radio..)

    ..bill and tony..reprising the big-hits..of the 80’s..

    phillip ure..

  31. ryall:..”my american-masters wanted me to wear the red white and blue shirt..

    ..they thought it would make a nice touch..

    ..and would be far more subtle than a flag-pin..”

    ..phillip ure..

  32. georgecom 32

    “look, when we announced this package we used hyperbole and spin, we over hyped and over promised the public interest and we used duplicitous language to promote it. In terms of the actual benefit for the country I was honest enough to say I could only guess, that I really had no idea

    Now I can announce that the policy is a success. We met none of the over hyped criteria we stated in public but have met the real objective, placing the collective wealth of NZ into the pockets of a few.

    I can announce today a further changes. Mum and Dad power users are going to be paying more for their power from now on to subsidise the lifestyles of the 3%”

  33. rod 33

    Bill and Tony, New Zealand’s got Talent. Yeah Right.

  34. Binders full of viper- women 34

    Back to the caption contest… “mmm these are funny communists .. Muesli & Mumbletruck.. their NZpower scheme will benefit rich families more than poor families ( who will get FOUR packets of chewing gum)”

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  • If The SIS Director Wants To Tell Us The Truth, She Should Commission Ficti...
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    17 hours ago
  • The value of parenting
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    frogblogBy Jan Logie
    17 hours ago
  • Let Them Eat Scraps: Bill English’s Budget Outflanks The Left By Moll...
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    18 hours ago
  • Bloody marvelous
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    Politically CorrectedBy sleepdepriveddiva
    20 hours ago
  • Congratulations #CanonMediaAwards 2015 winners…
    ...
    Politically CorrectedBy sleepdepriveddiva
    20 hours ago
  • National Minister refers to PM as “Wild Eyed” Right-Winger!
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    Frankly SpeakingBy Frank Macskasy
    20 hours ago
  • Truly Depressing
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    20 hours ago
  • Document Shows Elizabeth Warren Is Right About TPP
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    Its our futureBy ScoopBlogPush
    1 day ago
  • Singing the Budget Blues
    Despite our 'rock star' economy over the past three years it has not increased Government income to the level expected and the Government has not been able to deliver its promised surplus. If income doesn't change, but priorities shift, then the… ...
    1 day ago
  • Submit on Mill Rd
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    Transport BlogBy Patrick Reynolds
    1 day ago
  • Budget Blues
    Twenty five dollars a week can’t be bad, can it? For families on the breadline, it’s surely better than nothing and every little helps. And when the total spend is $790 million, that’s not peanuts, is it? – even if… ...
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    1 day ago
  • Punakaiki Fund and Snowball Effect
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    1 day ago
  • Anniversary of Sri Lankan Tamil Massacre
    This is not going to be a happy story but if the Green Party of Aotearoa doesn’t want to know who else will? May 18th marks the anniversary of what is known as the ‘Mullivaikal massacre’ of Tamils in 2009 at… ...
    frogblogBy Catherine Delahunty
    1 day ago
  • Game review: Republique
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    2 days ago
  • Rodeo: ‘Family entertainment’ or animal abuse?
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    2 days ago
  • Labour MPs are taking it to the Government in the House over their destruct...
    ...
    2 days ago
  • The price of rotten cops IV
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    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 days ago
  • Best and worst New Zealand flag designs
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    2 days ago
  • World News Brief, Friday May 22
    PunditBy Daily Digest
    2 days ago
  • A hard rain is a’gonna fall.
    Although I am loathe to prognosticate on fluid situations and current events, I have been thinking about how the conflict in Iraq has been going. Although I do not believe that the Islamic State (IS) is anywhere close to being… ...
    KiwipoliticoBy Pablo
    2 days ago
  • Got business out of town? Need a hire car?
    Whether you are heading of town for a conference or taking a break and need a hire car, your TEU Member Advantage program has you covered.  Use your member benefits to access either reduced car hire rates or excess on… ...
    2 days ago
  • An abuse of the OIA
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    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 days ago
  • Saying it Loud on Climate in Christchurch
    The Government’s Christchurch consultation meeting on New Zealand’s emission targets was inspiring – not for what was in the Ministry for the Environment’s (MFE’s) defeatist video about the obstacles to changing to a low carbon future, but for what the… ...
    frogblogBy Eugenie Sage
    2 days ago
  • Calling Peak Car?
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    2 days ago
  • Australia’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy on...
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    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 days ago
  • Fiji: Removing the opposition
    Last year, Nauru's government abused its parliamentary majority to suspend the opposition from Parliament on a spurious privilege motion. Its a disease which is spreading: last night, Fiji's "democratic" regime did the same, suspending an opposition MP for making a… ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 days ago
  • Budget 2015: Don’t worry about the surplus, worry about this… Whiteboar...
    Bill’s budget put a bit of extra change in the pocket of poor families, but that came at the cost of the promised surplus. But should you be worried about it? With government debt still only at 25%… ...
    Gareth’s WorldBy Gareth Morgan
    2 days ago
  • The productivity trap – heads they win, tails we lose
    The article below was written in 2006, so some of the stats are a bit dated.  However the fundamental argument remains.  For instance, NZ productivity growth continues to be poor and NZ capitalists remain behind most of the OECD in… ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    2 days ago
  • Attention leftie campaigners: Watch Lynton Crosby
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    PolityBy Rob Salmond
    2 days ago
  • Hard News: Friday Music: Out there in the world
    Friday Music posts here don't generally have much to do with my day job helping make a media TV show, but next week's Media Take is an exception. We're putting together a New Zealand music month-themed programme and one of the… ...
    2 days ago
  • Government announces plan to grow Auckland housing bubble
    The key initiative in yesterday’s budget is a plan to grow Auckland’s housing bubble. Auckland’s housing bubble is projected to take over from dairy farming as the fastest-growing sector of the New Zealand economy. Consider a typical Mangere housewife. For… ...
    Can of wormsBy Can of Worms, Opened
    2 days ago
  • Paul F Tompkins: The undisputed king of podcasts
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    2 days ago
  • Budget 2015: What does it mean?
    ...
    2 days ago
  • What next?
    It feels really, really surreal to nearly be done with my degree. And terrifying, mostly. Right now I have a single 2000 word essay remaining for Politics of Protest and then three exams mid-way through next month, and… that’s it.… ...
    The little pakehaBy chrismiller
    2 days ago
  • Solo parents forced to work; but where are the quality jobs?
    The Government is increasing the expectations of paid work from solo parents without any thought as to where the jobs will be, the Council of Trade Unions said today. “There are already 100,000 part time workers who are wanting more secure… ...
    CTUBy andrew.chick
    2 days ago
  • April-15 Patronage
    Another month and another good patronage result from Auckland Transport – particularly for rail. Patronage in April is naturally down on the madness that is March due to the combination of a 30 day month, ANZAC day, Easter and School Holidays/Uni holidays.… ...
    2 days ago
  • April-14 Patronage
    Another month and another good patronage result from Auckland Transport – particularly for rail. Patronage in April is naturally down on the madness that is March due to the combination of a 30 day month, ANZAC day, Easter and School Holidays/Uni holidays.… ...
    2 days ago
  • Children and steady-as-you-go – but how steady?
    There are three political dimensions to the budget’s star “children in hardship” item. One is John Key’s ownership. That fits his protestations of concern about disadvantaged children — though action has been slow coming. He made his pile in… ...
    Colin JamesBy Colin James
    2 days ago
  • Thoughts on budget 2015
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    DimPostBy danylmc
    2 days ago
  • What if your MP was decided on the flip of a coin?
    The provincial election in the Canadian province of Prince Edward Island finally came to an end a couple of days ago when its last MLA was declared elected following a judicial recount.(What - you didn't know that Prince Edward Island… ...
    PunditBy Andrew Geddis
    2 days ago
  • Gordon Campbell on Budget 2015
    From the outset, the slogan for yesterday’s Budget – “The Plan Is Working” – begged to be mocked. There’s actually a plan for the national economy? Who knew? And its been working for whom, exactly? Not for families in poverty,… ...
    2 days ago
  • Building better connections between Asia and the Pacific
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    Its our futureBy ScoopBlogPush
    2 days ago

  • How many victims missing out on protection?
    Hundreds of domestic abuse victims could be missing out on getting protection orders because they are unable to get legal aid, Labour’s Justice spokesperson Jacinda Ardern says.“In the last two years some 351 people who applied for legal aid for… ...
    10 hours ago
  • Government kicks hardworking whanau
    A major incentive to help young Kiwis and people on low incomes to start saving has been kicked out from under them with the National-led Government ramming through short-sighted legislation under Urgency today, Labour’s Maori Development Spokesperson Nanaia Mahuta says.… ...
    10 hours ago
  • Speculator tax political stunt gone wrong
    Bill English’s admission he doesn’t know whether National’s new speculator tax will have any effect shows last weekend’s announcement by the Prime Minister was a desperate political stunt, says Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford. “This Government is so desperate to… ...
    14 hours ago
  • The value of parenting
    This week, as part of the Budget, the government introduced a bill to address child poverty. This bill will require parents receiving income support to look for part-time work once their youngest child is three years of age rather than… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    17 hours ago
  • Another new tax, another broken promise
    National has unveiled yet another new tax in this budget – a rural broadband levy that will almost certainly result in an immediate price hike for internet and telephone connections across New Zealand, Labour’s ICT spokesperson Clare Curran said “The… ...
    1 day ago
  • Anniversary of Sri Lankan Tamil Massacre
    This is not going to be a happy story but if the Green Party of Aotearoa doesn’t want to know who else will? May 18th marks the anniversary of what is known as the ‘Mullivaikal massacre’ of Tamils in 2009 at… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    1 day ago
  • Labour MPs join youth to take part in 40 hour famine
    A team of Labour MPs took part in the 2015 World Vision 40 hour famine and we were told by World Vision and the young people, that it was the first time MPs had joined them and how appreciative they… ...
    2 days ago
  • Rodeo: ‘Family entertainment’ or animal abuse?
    Recently  TVNZ ran a story with confronting footage showing rodeo animals being punched, repeatedly shocked with electronic prods and having their tails violently twisted over their backs. It was clear that significant force was being used behind the scenes to make… ...
    GreensBy Mojo Mathers MP
    2 days ago
  • Budget puts the squeeze on police
    The Government has cut funding to the New Zealand police force in the latest Budget, says Labour’s Police spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The reduction is a whopping $15.3 million that could put front line officers at risk. ...
    2 days ago
  • Crucial social services take another hit
    The Government looks set to slash half a million dollars of funding for critical social services, including Women’s Refuge and Barnados, says Labour’s Social Development spokesperson Carmel Sepuloni “Taking $500,000 from organisations aimed at improving the lives of vulnerable families… ...
    2 days ago
  • Saying it Loud on Climate in Christchurch
    The Government’s Christchurch consultation meeting on New Zealand’s emission targets was inspiring – not for what was in the Ministry for the Environment’s (MFE’s) defeatist video about the obstacles to changing to a low carbon future, but for what the… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    2 days ago
  • Budget silent on small business
    The Government has completely ignored one of the most important sectors of the economy – small and medium-sized enterprises – in Budget 2015, Labour’s Small Business spokesperson Jacinda Ardern says. "A stunning 41 per cent of jobs were created by… ...
    2 days ago
  • Thank you John, it’s been bloody marvellous
    The departure of John Campbell is a blow to current affairs investigative journalism, Labour’s Broadcasting Spokesperson Clare Curran says. “Campbell Live stood out in its field. Its axing comes as local broadcasting in New Zealand remains in a state of… ...
    2 days ago
  • KiwiSaver cut shows no long-term plan
    National’s cutting of the KiwiSaver kickstart is incredibly short-term thinking, typical of a Budget that is woefully short on ideas to generate wealth and opportunity, Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson says. “New Zealand’s savings rate is far too low. KiwiSaver… ...
    2 days ago
  • National hits the panic button for its 7th Budget
    National has hit the panic button for its 7th Budget in a desperate attempt to look like they’re taking action to reduce our shameful child poverty rates, but they are giving with one hand and taking with the other, Opposition… ...
    2 days ago
  • Panic and back-flips can’t hide twin deficits
    National’s token measures to fight fires they have left burning for seven long years can’t hide a Budget that is long on broken promises, short on vision and fails to reach surplus, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “After being… ...
    3 days ago
  • Auckland land measure seven years too late
    National are so desperate to look like they are doing something about the Auckland housing crisis they have dusted off Labour’s 2008 inventory of government land available for housing and re-announced it, says Labour’s housing spokesperson Phil Twyford. “Despite National… ...
    3 days ago
  • Access to gender reassignment surgery essential
    I was frankly disgusted to hear the Minister for Health say that funding gender reassignment surgeries is a “nutty idea”. A recent study found that in New Zealand 1% of young people identified themselves as transgender, and 3% were unsure… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    4 days ago
  • Global milk prices now lowest in 6 years
    The latest fall in the global dairy price has brought it to the lowest level in six years and shows there must be meaningful action in tomorrow’s Budget to diversify the economy, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson. “Dairy prices… ...
    4 days ago
  • Big risks as CYF checks stopped
    Revelations that Child, Youth and Family is no longer assisting home-based early childhood educators by vetting potential employees should set alarm bells ringing, Labour Children’s spokesperson Jacinda Ardern says. “Doing away with an extra mechanism for checking potential new employees… ...
    4 days ago
  • Housing crisis about real people not numbers
    The Government’s continued failure to tackle the housing crisis is seeing thousands of vulnerable Kiwis being kept off social housing waiting lists, while others, who are on the list, are being forced to live in cars and garages, says Labour’s… ...
    4 days ago
  • Housing crisis about real people not numbers
    The Government’s continued failure to tackle the housing crisis is seeing thousands of vulnerable Kiwis being kept off social housing waiting lists, while others, who are on the list, are being forced to live in cars and garages, says Labour’s… ...
    4 days ago
  • State of origin
    Kiwis are increasingly concerned about the food they give their families. New Zealand consumers have the right to know where their food has come from, particularly when it involves animals, and should be able to expect our Government to label… ...
    GreensBy Steffan Browning MP
    4 days ago
  • Relationships Aotearoa
    It is disturbing that Relationships Aotearoa, a voluntary organisation set up in 1949 to help couples struggling with their relationships following the upheavals of World War II, may be forced to close, says Acting Spokesperson for the Voluntary and Community… ...
    5 days ago
  • An economy that is just working for some is an economy that is not working
    The National Party presents itself as a great manager of the economy, but if the economy is only working for some we really need to question that assertion. Alongside the perpetually elusive surplus, the levels of risk in our economy are… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    5 days ago
  • An economy that is just working for some is an economy that is not working
    The National Party presents itself as a great manager of the economy, but if the economy is only working for some we really need to question that assertion. Alongside the perpetually elusive surplus, the levels of risk in our economy are… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    5 days ago
  • House prices to a crack $1 million in 17 months
    The average Auckland home is on track to cost $1 million in 17 months’ time if nothing substantial is done to rein in soaring price rises, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “Auckland’s house prices have skyrocketed 63 per cent… ...
    5 days ago
  • Vital support services can’t be left in lurch
    The National Government has big questions to answer about how a provider of services to thousands of vulnerable New Zealanders is set to fold, Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson says. Relationships Aotearoa which provides support and counselling to families, individuals… ...
    5 days ago
  • Treasury and IRD on a capital gains tax
    Both the Treasury and IRD have been advising the National Government on the benefits of a capital gains tax. Documents released to the Green Party under an Official Information Act request show that John Key has been selective with the… ...
    GreensBy Russel Norman MP
    6 days ago
  • Charity legislation needs review
    It is unacceptable that the big corporate based charities claim  millions in annual income tax exemptions, while small community based and operated non-profit organisations  struggle to gain official charity status, Labour’s acting spokesperson for the Voluntary and Community Sector Louisa… ...
    6 days ago
  • John’s panic-Key response to housing crisis
    John Key needs to tell New Zealanders what caused his sudden change of heart that led to the Government’s scrambled and last-minute housing measures, Opposition Leader Andrew Little says. “The Prime Minister’s sudden rush of blood to his head followed… ...
    6 days ago
  • Keep our Assets Christchurch Campaign: An update
    I recently presented my submission to keep Christchurch Council assets at the Christchurch City Council’s public hearings on its 10 year plan on 13 May. The hearings are live-streamed and recorded so you can watch them on www.ccc.govt.nz. The Council’s… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    6 days ago
  • John Key finally admits there’s a housing crisis
    John Key’s weak measures to rein in the astronomical profits property speculators are making are an admission – finally – that there is a housing crisis, Labour Leader Andrew Little says. “But yet again National is tinkering with the housing… ...
    7 days ago
  • Government stifles voices in CYFs review
    The Government’s exclusion of the Māori Women’s Welfare League in a panel on the future of CYFs is a cynical ploy to stifle views, says Labour’s Māori Development Spokesperson Nanaia Mahuta. “It's unbelievable that a significant review on the future… ...
    1 week ago
  • Speech to the Otago Chamber of Commerce
    Thank you very much for the opportunity to be here today. It’s a pleasure as always to be back in the town that raised me. Growing up in St Kilda meant that there was one thing that was a big… ...
    1 week ago
  • Key can’t just be Prime Minister for Parnell
    John Key must show New Zealanders in next week’s Budget that he is more than the Prime Minister for Parnell, and is also the Prime Minister for Pine Hill, Putararu and Palmerston North, Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson says. In… ...
    1 week ago
  • Stop the conversions
    This week, some Waikato locals took me and intrepid photographer Amanda Rogers on a tour of some  lakes and waterways in their region, and up to the massive dairy conversions in the upper catchment of the Waikato River. It… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    1 week ago
  • More regional jobs go in Corrections reshape
    News that 194 Corrections staff are to lose their jobs will have ramifications not only for them and their families but for the wider community, Labour’s Corrections spokesperson Kelvin Davis says. Prison units at Waikeria, Tongariro and Rimutaka face closure… ...
    1 week ago
  • Government’s climate meetings off to a bumpy start
    On Wednesday, I attended a hui and an evening meeting that the Government had organised in Nelson as part of its climate change consultation tour, to support the Nelson community telling the Government to take meaningful action on climate change.… ...
    GreensBy Steffan Browning MP
    1 week ago
  • Taxpayers the only ones left feeling blue
    Ministry of Social Development bosses could have saved themselves thousands of dollars in consultants’ fees by providing staff with rose-tinted spectacles, Labour’s State Services spokesperson Kris Faafoi says. A report out today reveals the Ministry is spending over half a… ...
    1 week ago
  • Why are the regions still facing restrictions?
    Labour's Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford is questioning why the regions should continue to be saddled with LVR lending restrictions announced by the Reserve Bank today. “Labour has been calling for the regions to be exempted from LVRs for the best… ...
    1 week ago
  • The high costs of weak environmental regulation
    Te Waihora/Lake Ellesmere is described on the Department of Conservation website as “Canterbury’s largest and New Zealand’s fifth largest [lake], and an internationally important wildlife area.” But the lake is also polluted by nutrients leaching from farms in the catchment.… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    2 weeks ago
  • Submissions to Wellington City Council on their Gambling Venues Policy
    Every three years Councils across the country are required to check that their gambling venue policies are still fit for purpose and they can choose to consult on their policy if they are thinking of making changes. Councils don’t have… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    2 weeks ago
  • Reserve Bank action shows Govt out of touch and out of ideas
    The Reserve Bank’s unprecedented measures today show it understands the serious risks of the overheating housing market – in complete contrast to John Key’s refusal to acknowledge the crisis, Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson says. “The Bank is right to… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Send us your snaps: 25 Years of the Green Party
    This year we've hit a milestone. We're turning 25.To help celebrate a quarter of a century, please send us your photos from the last 25 years of the Green Party Aotearoa New Zealand! Note: Photos must be jpg, gif or… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • 25 Years of the Green Party
    This year the Green Party sends 25. To help us celebrate a quarter of a century please send us you photos of 25 years of the Green Party!Photos must be jpg,gif or png and smaller than 2MB. If you are… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Bay growth plan too little too late
    Today’s Bay of Plenty growth study from MBIE is another example of Government spin - lots of talk but little action, says Labour’s Regional Development spokesperson David Cunliffe.  “This is a region that desperately needs to develop the downstream processing… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Government bows to ACC pressure
     The Government has finally buckled to pressure from Labour and the New Zealand public in making a half billion dollar cut to ACC levies, but the full benefits are two years away,” says Opposition Leader Andrew Little.  “$500 million over… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • False figures cloud Auckland transport facts
    The Prime Minister should apologise and issue a correction after both he and Transport Minister Simon Bridges have been caught out misrepresenting facts on Auckland’s transport spending, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. "Both John Key and Simon Bridges have… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Govt books confirm National can’t post surplus
    The last publication of the Government’s books before the budget shows National will break its promise of seven years and two election campaigns and fail to get the books in order, says Labour’s Finance Spokesperson Grant Robertson. “The Government is… ...
    2 weeks ago

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