web analytics
The Standard

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 1:00 pm, May 9th, 2014 - 145 comments
Categories: caption contest - Tags:

Key Slater Farrar

145 comments on “Caption contest”

  1. Andre 1

    Bottom feeders….

  2. shorts 2

    No ties

  3. Philj 3

    xox
    Pro whaling investors meet in brothel.

  4. tc 4

    the 3 stooges, troughy, shonky and blubby

  5. risildowgtn 5

    Creatures from the deep, Penguin, Lobster butt licker, and wail boil

  6. key:..’collins will soon be sleeping with these fishes..’

  7. farrar proudly shows off the results of the recent sewing-course-holiday he went on..

    ..apparantly he whipped it up from his aunties’ old curtains..

  8. key with two customers/consumers at the man-bra trade-show….

  9. they look far too happy..

    ..whose goosing who..?

  10. p.m. meets tr*lls…

  11. ruup 12

    “Yes I’m stuck in the middle with you,
    And I’m wondering what it is I should do,
    It’s so hard to keep this smile from my face,
    Losing control, yeah, I’m all over the place,
    Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right,
    Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.”

    by Stealers Wheel

  12. blue leopard 13

    Three unidentified guests who visited the aquarium were asked to leave because they were scaring the fish and other guests with the vacuous grins they had plastered on their faces.

    The aquarium owners raised an alert to the police and the three (pictured above) were arrested on the way out for possession and use of the popular synthetic highs, ‘A Brighter Future’, ‘Rockstar Economy’, ‘An Economic Surplus Exists’ and ‘It is all Labour’s Fault’ which have now been banned due to the damage they are causing the country.

    • greywarbler 13.1

      bl +100 Those numbers sound foot tappy – sound like hits to me.
      Then again ruups choice is a goer too.

      • blue leopard 13.1.1

        Thanks, greywarbler, I was hoping someone would get amusement from that :)

  13. p.m. meets staff @ ‘chins ‘r us’…

  14. JanM 15

    Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf?

  15. thatguynz 16

    Moe, Larry and Curly venture out to the aquarium.

  16. p.m. meets judith collins’ support-group..

  17. Treetop 18

    Spinning themselves into one big knot.

  18. national party insiders select a burial-place for collins’ career…

  19. Treetop 20

    PM approves of Collin’s support group.

  20. Clemgeopin 21

    The three tie-less tricksters.

  21. Andre 22

    Ahhhhhh! . . . . Butt plugs

  22. greywarbler 23

    I think we brought it off lads!

  23. greywarbler 24

    That last gig paid well. Now it’s off to trough again. See you soon!

  24. this years’ finalists in the annual dirt-file-competition..

  25. the ayn rand appreciation society..

  26. three picketty refuseniks..

  27. Clemgeopin 28

    FOR SALE ! : Three bums.

  28. p.m. meets winner and runner-up of the annual pie-eating competition..

  29. Philj 30

    xox
    Which one likes Chinese?

    • greywarbler 30.1

      Is there a nice plump beneficiary in that tank of future dinners at my back? Why eat the rich? I could never understand what that film was on about!

  30. Papa Tuanuku 31

    see no evil

  31. George 32

    Friends are priceless.

    For everything else there’s a donation.

  32. Tiger Mountain 33

    “The Three Amigos II–Chamber of Tory Horrors cut”
    –starring three slippery dirty dodgepots–Mincer, Prime Mincer and can’t Bee f’ooked.

  33. Puckish Rogue 34

    “NZs most popular PM of the MMP era and the two most popular political bloggers in NZ share a photo” :)

    • Enough is Enough 34.1

      Helen Clark was Prime Minister for three terms with strong opular support throughout. She would have been Prime Minister for four terms had it not been for the Corporate Media’s corrupt witch hunt of Winston Peters.

      So no he is not the most popular Prime Minister. He is without doubt the most hated and certainly the most incompentent.

      As for the bloggers I think you will find they fudge their numbers somewhat

  34. (ya gotta love that oxford dictionary of quotations..this was written in 1681…)

    “..in friendship false..implacable in hate..

    ..resolved to ruin or to rule..the state..”

  35. This year’s 1980s WWF wrestling reunion features Andre the Giant, the Million Dollar Man, and Tugboat.

  36. John Williams 37

    “The New Zealand National Government in all it guises.”

  37. Gooch 38

    Meet the candidates for the Lemon Party

  38. BLiP 39

    Fishy, definitely fishy.

  39. the pigman 40

    Aquarium’s prized penguin and sickly sperm whale stolen from their tanks during daring heist by an unidentified guest.

  40. Ed 41

    We have a cunning plan.

  41. One Anonymous Bloke 42

    We need better wingnuts.

  42. Clemgeopin 43

    The Cabinet Rub.

  43. Andre 45

    IRD looking for information concerning ……….

  44. Chooky 46

    Happy as Pigs in mud

  45. chris73 47

    “One of us, one of us”

  46. Jrobin 48

    Two donors compete for time with renowned Cabinet Club member.

  47. Paul Campbell 49

    “Cabinet Club”, it’s all about amateur carpentry right …. you believe me don’t you? please ….

  48. Jackal 50

    Do you, smiling assassin, take this slightly soiled blogger to be your lawfully wedded propagandist? I do.

    Do you, former Truth editor, take this snake oil salesman to be your sugar daddy and secret funder? I do.

    Do you, Muldoonist, promise to repress free speech and democracy at every chance? I do.

    Do you, climate change denier, accept the doctrine of neoliberalism for all eternity. I do.

    I now pronounce you corporatist and propagandist.

    You may bribe the press.

  49. Clemgeopin 51

    A head honcho with two paunchos.

  50. Clemgeopin 52

    A dick with two dickheads.

  51. Clemgeopin 53

    A twit with two nitwits.

  52. philj 54

    xox
    Jackal wins the booby prize. 😉

  53. Clemgeopin 55

    Honest John with two bosom buddies.

  54. anker 56

    Key in damage control mode – attempts to create the perception of of the National Party as a moral, decent party . by hanging out with Slater and Farar.

  55. anker 57

    Key in damage control mode – attempts to raise the National Party’s standards and morality by hanging out with Slater and Farar.

  56. dave 58

    truth ,integrity,morality HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHpond scum x3

  57. captain hook 59

    the thing, the blob and the creature from the black lagoon

  58. dave 60

    thruth ,intergrety,morality

  59. Will@Welly 61

    an arse between two asses.

  60. O masters, if I were disposed to stir
    Your hearts and minds to mutiny and rage,
    I should do David wrong and John wrong, and Cameron wrong,
    Who, you all know, are honourable men

    Julius Caesar, ACT III Scene II. The Aquarium.

  61. karol 63

    ‘armless trio? Joined at the hip?

  62. Jackal 64

    May I kiss your arse with this shit eating grin Prime Minster?

  63. Rob 65

    ideas bereft blog recycles three year old photograph in vain attempt to remain relevant

    • @rob..

      ..rightwinger confirms the given that all rightwingers have a sense of humour bye-pass at birth..

      ..(the nearest they get to humour are those hard/brittle sneers at those they consider their inferiors..

      ..and we should feel sorry for them..

      ..that must be hell/dire..

      ..the grinding grey life of no ha-ha!..

      ..no wonder they are so angry..

      ..the poor luvvies..!

      • phillip ure 65.1.1

        seriously..!

        ..the challenge is..name one funny rightwing comedian..

        ..there aren’t any..

        ..that’s ‘cos all rightwingers are humourless arsewipes..

        ..who had s.o.h. bye-passes at birth..

        ..q.e.d…

  64. TeWhareWhero 66

    When shall we three meet again?
    To swindle, hoodwink and complain?
    When the double-dealing’s done,
    When the election’s lost or won?

  65. pm meets laboratory-experiments that went terribly terribly wrong…

  66. pm and his dirt-file meet runner-up in cartman-look-alike contest..

  67. Naki Man 69

    Well done Cam for wining the best blog award tonight

    • Clemgeopin 69.1

      If THAT is voted the best blog, it says more about the low calibre of the voters than anything else!

    • Jackal 69.2

      Influx of rightwing commentators congratulating Cameron Slater finally makes this blog relevant. /sarc

    • Awww 69.3

      And well done to Canon, the official paper supplier to the WhaleOil blog for it’s continuing support of far right hate speech.

  68. rod 70

    The PM with his speechwriters.

    • Will@Welly 70.1

      Wrong. Given the P.M.’s nasal qualities, try “P.M. with his screech writers.”

  69. Naki Man 71

    The most popular PM and the most popular bloggers in New Zealand

    • adam 71.1

      Naki Man doing shit trolling since, well not very long – and man, your just really bad at it. Just go back and smoke some crack with the rest of the whale oil crowd, or smell your own farts – hey what ever rocks your smug little world.

  70. georgecom 72

    with apologies to Sesame Street

    Three of these things are just like the others,
    Three of these things just do not belong,
    Can you tell which things are just like the others
    By the time I finish my song?

    Three of these things belong together
    Three of these things are kind of the same
    Can you guess which one of these doesn’t belong in Parliament?
    Now it’s time to play our game (our fundraising game).

  71. TeWhareWhero 73

    A bad political sandwich – the bread is too thick and the filling is not what it claims to be.

  72. Pdubyah 74

    Dumb, dumber, dumbest.

  73. georgecom 75

    Key poses for picture at pie warmer technicians convention.

  74. Murray Olsen 76

    Farrar: gosh these guys are lucky to be with me.
    Key: ashlee tease gays a luggy to be with me.
    Blubber Boy: aahh, oooh, aaah, oops………anyone got a tissue?

  75. Stuart Munro 77

    Rightswingers! The club for those whose mums and siblings resist ACT policy…

  76. another meaning of wobh..(in abbrev.-dict..)

    ..is ‘weight of both horns’..

    ..(think about it..!..)

  77. Ian 79

    Key Burger

  78. felix 80

    Vizzini and Fezzik. And an unnamed guest.

  79. Linz 81

    Delusion, greed and hate: the three unwholesome roots.

  80. captain hook 82

    one pig, two pokes.

  81. burt 83

    Is this really all it takes to make Labour look like sock puppets.

  82. Enough is Enough 84

    Someones been eating too many dead rats

  83. Clemgeopin 85

    The honey hive and the two Bs.

  84. joe90 86

    Eh-oh!, Dipsy, Laa-Laa, and Tinky Winkyon are here and Po‘s on her way.

  85. tricledrown 87

    Which one is the vintriloquist.
    PinoKeyO finds it easy to operate his dummy with the whaleoil providing more than adequate lubrication to manipulate such a large Dummy.

  86. tricledrown 88

    Cabinet Club meeting with PM .
    Fishy business as National tanks (aqarium in back ground gives it away) in the polls Jamie whyte of ACT sends incestious minders to arrange a polygamus 3 way gay marriage as part of pre election tom linettnegotiations whyte says this is the bottom line to any post election deal.

  87. Ecosse_Maidy 89

    Keys: “Sorry Lads, The National Underground Aquarium Bunker was the only place, I could think of to meet, without that ****** Pete George arriving and interrupting….Double check that door is locked will u?

  88. Ecosse_Maidy 90

    Keys ” Ok, how do we deny climate change now Gents now the sea water is over my holiday retreat windows?”

  89. Yossarian 91

    Keys: Ok, We have been here for three bloody days! One of us has to go and check out what’s up top and see if Cyclone Judith has left anything behind……

  90. Ecosse_Maidy 92

    Ok We have been here for three bloody days now!!!! One of us has to go and check out what’s up top and see if Cyclone Judith has left anything behind……..

  91. Clemgeopin 93

    Whose turn is it to pass a leak today, yours or mine?

  92. Ecosse_Maidy 94

    The three new directors of the offshore drilling company gathered for the first time….Hale oil was now in business.

  93. Ecosse_Maidy 95

    Keys: Thank fuck they can’t see what we are doing with our dicks!

  94. emergency mike 96

    Rusty the goldfish with three unidentified bloggers.

  95. Ecosse_Maidy 97

    Rusty the gold fish makes generous donation of thirty thousand dollars to the national party troika for allowing him to stay in the country.

  96. Gooch 98

    Dutch Rudder enthusiasts pose for a photo outside their annual conference

  97. Ecosse_Maidy 99

    Rusty the goldfish , unveiled as Pete George in cheap disguise

  98. Ecosse_Maidy 100

    Rusty the goldfish promoted to Minister of Justice and Immigration.

  99. Ecosse_Maidy 101

    Rusty the Goldfish, resigns in fury, as his expenses are questioned,,,,,then proceeds to sell his memoirs…

  100. Ecosse_Maidy 102

    Rusty the goldfish gets awarded Knighthood and retires to Hawaii to play golf

  101. Ed 103

    We have a cunning plan . . . . . . .for the fish droppings

  102. Clemgeopin 104

    ‘UNITED WE STAGGER, DIVIDED WE FALL’

  103. jaymam 105

    DPF and Whaleoil with an unidentified guest.
    P.S. thanks to Norrie Montgomery for the photo that was copied from Facebook (the “I’m voting National” page)!

  104. adam 106

    Working for the 1% – from here to eternity.

  105. TeWhareWhero 107

    What’s going through their minds……

    Farrar: “Please hurry up and take the picture, someone’s eating all the cake!’

    Key: ‘Oh god, Slater’s just farted, hurry up and take the bloody picture!’

    Slater: “Omigod, I just farted next to the PM. Hurry up and take the picture!’

    • Ecosse_Maidy 107.1

      Rusty the goldfish took that fart wrapped it up and called it the national party

  106. Jenny 108

    Following major re-constructive surgery, by a world leading team of expensive private sector surgeons, and a long period of recuperation.

    On making a full recovery Mr Creasote bravely returns to the scene of his unfortunate accident.

    (The surgeons finding so much human tissue, Mr Creasote was mistakenly reassembled into three discrete individuals)

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • TPPA people power protests
    It was great to see such a big turnout – at least 15,000 in Auckland by some estimates. That’s a lot of people not buying the National Government’s spin on the TPPA. I was at the Auckland protests along with… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    4 days ago
  • Ten Ways We can Honour Te Tiriti
    1. Learn about our history and current issues – Te Tiriti education is powerful, inspiring and available! 2. Learn about where you live and who the manawhenua are and what their issues in rebuilding their culture are. 3. Support manawhenua… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    4 days ago
  • “Not one more acre”
    The Public Works Act has too often been used to confiscate Māori land, and Members of Parliament will soon get a chance to vote to stop this. The original Public Works Act was developed in the 1860’s to facilitate… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    5 days ago
  • Rules needed so we can swim in Canterbury rivers
    First published in The Press on 1 February 2016 A work colleague recently asked me which rivers and lakes I’d recommend she take her son and nephew swimming during an upcoming visit to Christchurch, somewhere handy to the city. I… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    7 days ago
  • Rules needed so we can swim in Canterbury rivers
    First published in The Press on 1 February 2016 A work colleague recently asked me which rivers and lakes I’d recommend she take her son and nephew swimming during an upcoming visit to Christchurch, somewhere handy to the city. I… ...
    GreensBy Eugenie Sage MP
    7 days ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    1 week ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    1 week ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    1 week ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    1 week ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    1 week ago
  • Vulnerable women the victims of Govt inaction
    The Government’s failure to address the housing crisis and its refusal to steps to raise wages have led to vulnerable women being exploited, Labour’s spokesperson for Women Ruth Dyson says. “Reports today that women are being offered free rent in… ...
    1 week ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Arms Control a priority for the Pacific
    Labour’s Pacific Island Affairs spokesperson Su’a William Sio and Chair of New Zealand’s Parliamentarians for Global Action says his priority will be getting the Pacific to sign up to the Arms Trade Treaty after being appointed by the PGA as… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • National must listen to Maori TPPA concerns
    The National Government must listen to the widespread opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) if it is to retain credibility with Māori, says Labour’s Maori Development spokesperson Kelvin Davis. “The Iwi Leaders Forum met with Trade Minister Todd McClay… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Bob Tizard’s passing an end of an era
    Labour Leader Andrew Little has expressed his deepest condolences to the family of former Labour MP and Deputy Prime Minister Bob Tizard who died this afternoon. Robert “Bob” Tizard was a Labour MP for 30 years, representing the seats of… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Bob Tizard’s passing an end of an era
    Labour Leader Andrew Little has expressed his deepest condolences to the family of former Labour MP and Deputy Prime Minister Bob Tizard who died this afternoon. Robert “Bob” Tizard was a Labour MP for 30 years, representing the seats of… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Bob Tizard’s passing an end of an era
    Labour Leader Andrew Little has expressed his deepest condolences to the family of former Labour MP and Deputy Prime Minister Bob Tizard who died this afternoon. Robert “Bob” Tizard was a Labour MP for 30 years, representing the seats of… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Bob Tizard’s passing an end of an era
    Labour Leader Andrew Little has expressed his deepest condolences to the family of former Labour MP and Deputy Prime Minister Bob Tizard who died this afternoon. Robert “Bob” Tizard was a Labour MP for 30 years, representing the seats of… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Bob Tizard’s passing an end of an era
    Labour Leader Andrew Little has expressed his deepest condolences to the family of former Labour MP and Deputy Prime Minister Bob Tizard who died this afternoon. Robert “Bob” Tizard was a Labour MP for 30 years, representing the seats of… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Differing view on TPPA agreed
    Opposition Leader Andrew Little has given dispensation to MP Phil Goff to take his own position on the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement due to his historic involvement in negotiating its predecessor, the P4. “Phil has had a longstanding involvement and… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Scandalous Saudi sheep saga rolls on
    It is scurrilous that the Government is pushing ahead with plans to spend many millions of taxpayer money on an abattoir in Saudi Arabia without knowing who’ll end up owning it, Labour MP David Parker says. “More than $12 million… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Joyce destroys Government rail link certainty
    Infrastructure Minister Steven Joyce has destroyed the certainty the Prime Minister gave private sector investors in his State of the Nation announcement on the City Rail Link, Labour’s Auckland Issues spokesperson Phil Twyford says.   “Steven Joyce has again poured… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Pasifika caucus visit as Kiribati water crisis deepens
    Water supplies are deteriorating in Kiribati as Labour’s  Pasifika climate change task force prepares to head there and Tuvalu, says Labour’s Pacific Climate Change Spokesperson Su’a William Sio.  “There is a growing crisis on the atolls due to water supplies… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Pasifika caucus visit as Kiribati water crisis deepens
    Water supplies are deteriorating in Kiribati as Labour’s  Pasifika climate change task force prepares to head there and Tuvalu, says Labour’s Pacific Climate Change Spokesperson Su’a William Sio.  “There is a growing crisis on the atolls due to water supplies… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Pasifika caucus visit as Kiribati water crisis deepens
    Water supplies are deteriorating in Kiribati as Labour’s  Pasifika climate change task force prepares to head there and Tuvalu, says Labour’s Pacific Climate Change Spokesperson Su’a William Sio.  “There is a growing crisis on the atolls due to water supplies… ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Pasifika caucus visit as Kiribati water crisis deepens
    Water supplies are deteriorating in Kiribati as Labour’s  Pasifika climate change task force prepares to head there and Tuvalu, says Labour’s Pacific Climate Change Spokesperson Su’a William Sio.  “There is a growing crisis on the atolls due to water supplies… ...
    2 weeks ago

  • Sexting as concerning for kiwi parents as cyberbullying
    Teenagers sharing naked pictures of themselves has become a number one concern for kiwi parents – with sexting emerging as the most-viewed topic on the digi-parenting.co.nz website. Since July last year, almost 10,000 people per month have visited www.digi-parenting.co.nz ...
    38 mins ago
  • Local lifeguards to assist in refugee crisis
    Local lifeguards to assist in refugee crisis On ANZAC weekend, six members of the Bethells Beach Surf Lifesaving Patrol will head to the Greek Island of Lesvos to assist current operations attempting to decrease the drowning rates for desperate ...
    1 hour ago
  • Awaroa Beach: Little Restraint From Labour
    The Taxpayers’ Union is telling politicians to butt out of the tremendous community effort to purchase a beach next to the Awaroa inlet in the Abel Tasman National Park after Labour Leader Andrew Little called upon the Government to stump… ...
    1 hour ago
  • McCully’s Condemnation of Satellite Launch Sadly Predictable
    Foreign Minister Murray McCully’s condemnation of North Korea’s launch of an earth observation satellite was predictable - he never strays far from American guidance. It was also sadly short-sighted. As a small country it is in our long-term interest ...
    2 hours ago
  • Draft Chapter on Proposed Reform of Te Ture Whenua Māori Act
    WAITANGI TRIBUNAL RELEASES DRAFT CHAPTER ON CLAIMS CONCERNING THE PROPOSED REFORM OF TE TURE WHENUA MĀORI ACT 1993 ...
    2 hours ago
  • Treaty of Waitangi – Found in Translation
    Wellington, New Zealand - Today, the New Zealand Society of Translators and Interpreters (NZSTI) announces the launch of the Treaty Times Thirty project. ...
    2 hours ago
  • Governor-General’s Waitangi Day Address
    Kia ora huihui tātou katoa. To the many, many people who have come at our invitation to celebrate this sacred day for the Treaty of Waitangi, I welcome you to Government House Auckland. I extend my greetings to all who… ...
    2 hours ago
  • Are You Ready to Vote in the Final Flag Referendum?
    Are You Ready to Vote in the Final Flag Referendum? The second referendum on the New Zealand flag is just a few weeks away, and the Electoral Commission wants to ensure all eligible New Zealanders are enrolled and ready to… ...
    2 hours ago
  • Bledisloe Garden Reception cancelled at Government House
    Rain has forced Government House Auckland to cancel the Bledisloe Garden Reception, which was due to start at 4pm this afternoon. The Governor-General, Sir Jerry Mateparae, will still be marking Waitangi Day with a special citizenship ceremony for 25 people… ...
    3 days ago
  • Call for Child Sex Abuse Inquiry
    6th February 2016 “We just haven’t had a Rolf Harris or Jimmy Savile to bring our own dirty laundry out into the open but the time bomb is ticking and powder-keg will ignite.” McVicar ...
    3 days ago
  • Maori are amongst the biggest beneficiaries of TPP
    In the lead up to Waitangi celebrations and the signing of the Trans Pacific Partnership in New Zealand this week, much is being made of Maori opposition to the TPP due to a lack of consultation and a perceived loss… ...
    4 days ago
  • Maori are amongst the biggest beneficiaries of TPP
    In the lead up to Waitangi celebrations and the signing of the Trans Pacific Partnership in New Zealand this week, much is being made of Maori opposition to the TPP due to a lack of consultation and a perceived loss… ...
    4 days ago
  • More than 27,000 new Kiwis in 2015
    This Waitangi Day, New Zealand will roll out the welcome mat to 24 new citizens at Government House, and acknowledge over 27,000 people who were granted citizenship last year. ...
    4 days ago
  • Demolition of 32 & 36 Glendevere Terrace
    Demolition of 32 & 36 Glendevere Terrace Land Information New Zealand (LINZ) and Southern Response today announced that the demolitions of 32 and 36 Glendevere Terrace, Redcliffs, Christchurch will begin next week. ...
    4 days ago
  • Next step in 2GP process
    Dunedin (Friday, 5 February 2016) – The next step in the process of establishing a new Dunedin City District Plan will be underway when further submissions are called for from 10 February. ...
    4 days ago
  • Next step in 2GP process
    Dunedin (Friday, 5 February 2016) – The next step in the process of establishing a new Dunedin City District Plan will be underway when further submissions are called for from 10 February. ...
    4 days ago
  • Report into diplomat debacle shows Ministers’ failures
    The report into the treatment of a diplomat found guilty of indecent assault highlights a failure of Government Ministers to show political leadership over sexual violence, the Green Party said today. ...
    4 days ago
  • Report into diplomat debacle shows Ministers’ failures
    The report into the treatment of a diplomat found guilty of indecent assault highlights a failure of Government Ministers to show political leadership over sexual violence, the Green Party said today. ...
    4 days ago
  • TPP Good News for New Zealand
    TPP Good News for New Zealand by Dr Llew Richards, chief executive of IANZ We all like to travel. We all buy stuff from overseas. But sometimes we pay up to twice the price for something in New Zealand that… ...
    4 days ago
  • TPP Good News for New Zealand
    TPP Good News for New Zealand by Dr Llew Richards, chief executive of IANZ We all like to travel. We all buy stuff from overseas. But sometimes we pay up to twice the price for something in New Zealand that… ...
    4 days ago
  • Council seeks submissions on bylaw amendment
    Palmerston North City Council is calling for submissions on a proposed amendment to the Signs and Use of Public Places Bylaw for Election Signs. ...
    4 days ago
  • Credit Ratings Agency Blackmails Christchurch City Council
    Credit Ratings Agency Blackmails Christchurch City Council on Asset Sales This story slipped by without comment from anyone in the Christmas rush. Better late than never. On December 8th the Press reported that: “Ratings agency Standard & Poor’s ...
    4 days ago
  • Ministry welcomes release of Whitehead Report
    The Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade has welcomed the public release of the Whitehead report. ...
    4 days ago
  • TPP Agreement bad for democracy
    International Trade Union Confederation TPP Agreement bad for democracy, rights, public services and health Brussels, 4 February 2016 (ITUC OnLine): The ITUC has called the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPP) a major setback for employment ...
    4 days ago
  • TPP Agreement bad for democracy
    International Trade Union Confederation TPP Agreement bad for democracy, rights, public services and health Brussels, 4 February 2016 (ITUC OnLine): The ITUC has called the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPP) a major setback for employment ...
    4 days ago
  • Peru signed the Trans-Pacific Partnership in NZ
    Thursday 4 February 2016 Press Release Peru's Foreign Trade and Tourism Minister Magali Silva has signed the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) agreement in New Zealand's city of Auckland today along with her counterparts from 11 Pacific countries. The ...
    4 days ago
  • Peru signed the Trans-Pacific Partnership in NZ
    Thursday 4 February 2016 Press Release Peru's Foreign Trade and Tourism Minister Magali Silva has signed the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) agreement in New Zealand's city of Auckland today along with her counterparts from 11 Pacific countries. The ...
    4 days ago
  • Protesters project giant message onto SkyCity
    Community organisations representing more than five and a half million people around the world have united to take joint action and express global opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership, as Trade Ministers sign the deal at SkyCity in Auckland. ...
    4 days ago
  • Protesters project giant message onto SkyCity
    Community organisations representing more than five and a half million people around the world have united to take joint action and express global opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership, as Trade Ministers sign the deal at SkyCity in Auckland. ...
    4 days ago
  • Reserve Bank highlights importance of market discipline
    Reserve Bank highlights importance of market discipline The Reserve Bank today highlighted the importance of market discipline as one of three pillars that help maintain the stability of financial institutions. In a speech this evening hosted by the NZ Bankers… ...
    4 days ago
  • Infrastructure to underpin development of the Northland regi
    “The release today of the Tai Tokerau Northland Economic Action Plan is strongly endorsed by the New Zealand Council for Infrastructure Development (NZCID) and will drive much needed employment, investment and growth in the region,” says NZCID ...
    5 days ago
  • Infrastructure to underpin development of the Northland regi
    “The release today of the Tai Tokerau Northland Economic Action Plan is strongly endorsed by the New Zealand Council for Infrastructure Development (NZCID) and will drive much needed employment, investment and growth in the region,” says NZCID ...
    5 days ago
  • Kiwis reject the TPPA
    Around 15,000 Kiwis marched down Queen Street today to protest against the signing of the TPPA. The march was loud, diverse, family-friendly, peaceful and passionate in its opposition to the TPPA. ...
    5 days ago
  • Kiwis reject the TPPA
    Around 15,000 Kiwis marched down Queen Street today to protest against the signing of the TPPA. The march was loud, diverse, family-friendly, peaceful and passionate in its opposition to the TPPA. ...
    5 days ago
  • NZ-US Council welcomes the signature of the TPP
    NZ-US Council welcomes the signature of the TPP The Executive Director of the NZ-US Council, Fiona Cooper Clarke, has welcomed the signature of the Trans Pacific Partnership (TPP) agreement in Auckland today. “We are delighted that the TPP has been… ...
    5 days ago
  • NZ-US Council welcomes the signature of the TPP
    NZ-US Council welcomes the signature of the TPP The Executive Director of the NZ-US Council, Fiona Cooper Clarke, has welcomed the signature of the Trans Pacific Partnership (TPP) agreement in Auckland today. “We are delighted that the TPP has been… ...
    5 days ago
  • Let Quake Outcasts Move on Says Human Rights Commissioner
    Let Quake Outcasts Move on Says Chief Human Rights Commissioner The Chief Human Rights Commissioner David Rutherford is calling on the Government yet again to settle the Quake Outcasts case following yesterday’s announcement that the Outcasts have ...
    5 days ago
  • Kiwifruit winner in TPP Agreement
    The Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) Agreement will generate significant value for the New Zealand kiwifruit industry and Zespri welcomes the signing of the Agreement today in Auckland. Zespri Chief Executive Lain Jager explains the TPP will eliminate ...
    5 days ago
  • Kiwifruit winner in TPP Agreement
    The Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) Agreement will generate significant value for the New Zealand kiwifruit industry and Zespri welcomes the signing of the Agreement today in Auckland. Zespri Chief Executive Lain Jager explains the TPP will eliminate ...
    5 days ago
  • Waihi Dam Update
    Waihi Dam Update Hawke’s Bay Regional Council is hopeful the discharge of sediment from the Waihi Dam into the Waiau River will cease by the end of next week. HBRC staff met with Eastland Group staff and contractors yesterday to… ...
    5 days ago
  • Waihi Dam Update
    Waihi Dam Update Hawke’s Bay Regional Council is hopeful the discharge of sediment from the Waihi Dam into the Waiau River will cease by the end of next week. HBRC staff met with Eastland Group staff and contractors yesterday to… ...
    5 days ago
  • Campaigners vow “final battle” to prevent massive deal
    As TPP is signed in Auckland casino, campaigners vow “final battle” to prevent massive deal being ratified ...
    5 days ago
  • Paddling Cape to Cape for a Cause
    A mission that will see him spend three week on stand up paddle board, paddling from the South Cape to the top of the East Cape of the North Island. ...
    5 days ago
  • Trust applauds $4m government funding for art centre
    Today's announcement of central government support, made by Minister of Economic Development Steven Joyce, provides a key step forward in funding for Whangarei’s Hundertwasser Art Centre & Wairau Maori Art Gallery. ...
    5 days ago
  • Horticulture Welcomes TPP Signing
    New Zealand’s peak body for commercial fruit and vegetable growers, Horticulture New Zealand, has welcomed the official New Zealand signing of the Trans Pacific Partnership agreement today. Horticulture is New Zealand’s fourth largest export earner, sending ...
    5 days ago
  • Attitude change to sexual violence needed, council says
    The National Council of Women of New Zealand says the commentary around Malaysian diplomat Muhammad Rizalman bin Ismail's assault on Tania Billingsley should be a wakeup call for New Zealanders to change their attitudes to violence. ...
    5 days ago
  • Hundertwasser Art Centre receives Government boost
    Prosper Northland has welcomed today’s announcement of a $4 million contribution by Central Government to the Hundertwasser Art Centre (HAC) project in Whangarei. ...
    5 days ago
  • National Policy Statement a powerful tool under the RMA
    Property Council believes there is an urgent and pressing need for a National Policy Statement (NPS) on urban development under the Resource Management Act (RMA). ...
    5 days ago
  • National Policy Statement a powerful tool under the RMA
    Property Council believes there is an urgent and pressing need for a National Policy Statement (NPS) on urban development under the Resource Management Act (RMA). ...
    5 days ago
  • TPPA – The People Prefer Accountability
    The Conservative Party are by no means opposed to trade agreements with other countries, but the secrecy surrounding the negotiations and the lack of disclosure of real detail with regard to the TPPA, accompanied by the fobbing off of serious… ...
    5 days ago

Public service advertisements by The Standard

Current CO2 level in the atmosphere