web analytics
The Standard

Friday photo op

Written By: - Date published: 3:27 pm, November 5th, 2010 - 41 comments
Categories: humour, john key - Tags: ,

Labour Party leader and PM of Japan John Key 
talks to visiting US President Hillary Clinton.

41 comments on “Friday photo op”

  1. ianmac 1

    John’s other boob-boob,”I prefer boobs this big.”

  2. gobsmacked 3

    Hillary Clinton meets, and instantly forgets meeting, the “former Prime Minister of New Zealand”, John Key.

    http://www.stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/archive/national-news/379066

  3. Kaplan 4

    Whoever it was that first compared Key to David Brent was spot on.
    Cringeworthy. To the extreme.

  4. Bill 5

    “Very interesting John. That’s how you prefer to do a hobbit is it? And the rest of the country? Oh. Any old way. I see.”

  5. Pascal's bookie 6

    “So that’s why I think bike tracks are the way to go for you guys, good photo ops lol, but nah actually. Think about it eh. You could get the hubby out there biking an appalachian trail and ah, and it’s good ready umm work… spades, shovels whatever you know, kenyan economics eh. Not my sort of thing but that’s what we’re doing anyway lol, ‘cept we’re not really. ‘do fest’ hah! Hey there’s Judith Collins, don’t know why she’s here but better not show her those interrogation docs from afghanimastans, just sayin. “

  6. Yes John, of course – you have a very statesmanly countenance.

  7. Adders 8

    “Is that your arse on fire there, Madam President, or are you just pleased to see me?”

  8. Bill 9

    JK: So it’s like I can hold two beers? One in each hand? And as long as I remember to maintain the ballast; the alcohol balance between the left hand and right hand, I find I can slur without staggering?

    HC: Interesting, John.

  9. “So I understand there was all this fuss about your husband getting interned? I looked it up… wow it must have been horrific being buried alive!”

  10. Carol 11

    JK: I’m kinda that musch like Obama… well, maybe not quite THAT much. More like THISH musch. Eshpeshly when I talk about being ambishish for New Zild.It’s kinda like Yesh I can… er… we can.

    HRC: Hmmm. Yes. It would have been interesting to have been campaigning against you in the primaries.

  11. bobo 12

    Hillary says to John

    “Er yeah, Obama’s blackberry diary is full till 2012 … (awkward silence) cough… but I might be able to swing you a impromptu meet n greet at Bubas steak house with George W… he doesn’t get out much these days…. oh and photographs are optional extras but George likes to be paid in euros.. and what ever you do, don’t tell him I know you….. need to know basis…. (nervous gulp) now wheres that designer pantsuit boutique you speak so highly of ? “

  12. Philoff 13

    Hillary: Are you sure you’re not from the 90s?
    Key: Yeah nah, I’m from New Zulland act-chewly, Mussus Prusudunt.

  13. philoff 14

    Me and Obama aren’t so different really – we’ve both been successful in driving wages down, for instance, only I did it on purpose!

  14. philoff 15

    HC: You Australians are so laid-back with your “pop another shrimp on the barbie” and “tie me kangaroo down.”
    JK: Nah yeah, we’re actually Warner Brothers-New Zealand.

  15. Owen Mc 16

    “Gone by barbeque time”.

  16. The Voice of Reason 17

    Key:

    Doofus? Me? Why would your briefing papers say that?

    • Anne 17.1

      Clinton: when I was pregnant with Chelsea I was way out here.
      Key: were you really? I hardly showed for both my kids.

  17. Owen Mc 18

    “I guess it’s swings and roudabouts Hillary – an earthquake in Christchurch and a landslide in Auckland”.

  18. The Voice of Reason 19

    HC: Nice smile. You remind me of Bill.

    JK: As if! He only screwed one intern, Mrs President. I’m rooting a whole country!

  19. Owen Mc 20

    “No, the red flowers aren’t my idea of a joke. They were supplied by the Chinese Trade Counselor and I don’t think either of us are really in a position to turn them down”.

  20. gobsmacked 21

    Good to know that our glorious leader has already got himself an international reputation as “gaffe-prone”. He’s put New Zealand on the map!

    The Guardian today:

    For Hillary Clinton, questions about her presidential ambitions followed her all the way to New Zealand, where she curtly ruled out running in 2012 or 2016 after being questioned by journalists during her visit there.
    But it didn’t seem to make any difference to New Zealand’s gaffe-prone prime minister John Key, who described her as “President Clinton” while thanking her at a joint press conference in Wellington yesterday.

    (Link provided, but it’s a live blog, may need a lot of scrolling)

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/blog/2010/nov/05/today-for-one-day-only

    • Colonial Viper 21.1

      OMG.

      He needs to hold off on the bourbon. Like seriously, even the 12yo Wild Turkey is out of bounds.

  21. The Voice of Reason 22

    Do you have a free press in New Zealand, John?

    Hell, no, Hillz, they cost me a bottle of wine each!

  22. mikesh 23

    I should get my hands dirty ? Do you really think so ?

  23. Vicky32 24

    All of these are rich comedy gold! 😀

    Deb

  24. M 25

    JK: Why are my hands like this? Oh, that would be from the many months I was holed up in a closet in ’81 with only ‘Hustler’ for company because I couldn’t bear to make a decision. To this day I blame my pallor on having to hide out but I did perfect my shifty, nonce look.

  25. M 26

    John shows Hillary how he’s going to help in a practical way with the new cycleway by being a bike rack.

  26. M 27

    “Do you think Bill could fix me up with Monica? Bronagh’s not much interested since the Hobbit crack.”

  27. Roger 28

    I always stand with my hands like this because in this job you have to wave at a moments notice, its extra super hard when I have to multitask by smiling at the same time. But yeah no…I’m still pretty relaxed about it.

  28. Owen Mc 29

    If you really can’t stand still like a big boy then try clasping your hands together like this. Now say after me…Tow-may-tow, now Nucle-ah. We’ll have you Kiwis singing like choir boys from our song sheet yet.

  29. mcflock 30

    JK: oh wow – I get to have a photo-op with the president! Watch me celebrate with a robot dance!

    HC: hmmm – so you’re the reason the founding fathers went with an electoral college…

  30. Tanz 31

    Maybe it was on purpose, to gain extra pubicity? Key just isn’t that dumb.

    • Colonial Viper 31.1

      I see, a deliberate ploy to make Hilary misunderestimate him.

    • Marty G 31.2

      Tanz, he has said he wants to lead a Labour government, that he lives in Japan, that Clinton is President – and that’s just the examples r0b has quoted!

      You think he’s not dumb enough to mis-speak? You ought to listen to him more closely. Most of what he says is grammatical nonsense. Check out this quote of Key’s on the Korea FTA, from Eddie’s post:

      “We really didn’t have a deal and now I think we’ve got some fresh legs on that debate now and we’ve got a plan to go forward,”

      Now, I can’t for the life of me work out what he is actually saying other than the obvious: there isn’t a deal yet and they want one. It’s just information-free gibberish.

      If you really listen to his replies to questions that’s how he typically speaks. Say an interviewer says ‘do you support x or not?’ he’ll reply ‘well if we take a step back there is clearly this thing called x and it is something we will have to consider, we’re committed to moving forward, and x may be part of that framework’

    • Marty G 31.3

      and gain extra publicity for what precisely? That he can’t go two weeks without putting his foot in his mouth?

      or perhaps you would care to tell us the substantive results of his talks with Clinton and how him calling her President assists in giving them publicity

  31. Treetop 32

    Talk about making an impression, the wrong impression.

  32. happynz 33

    JK: so…yeah, like, I always was a fan of the Fonz. Check this out…Heeeyyyyyyyy! Ya reckon you could get me a meet up with the Fonz?

    HC: erm…uh…Wellington is such a lovely small capital…

Links to post

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Broadband failure sucks up more cash
    The Commerce Committee has blocked an inquiry into the $300 million rural broadband initiative (RBI) despite mounting evidence it’s a massive policy failure and waste of money, says Labour’s ICT spokesperson Clare Curran. “The Government is about to spend an… ...
    3 hours ago
  • TISA – Another secret trade deal you may never have heard of
      This post first appeared on The Daily Blog You’ve probably heard of the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement (TPPA) by now and the widespread concerns around it but what about the Trade in Services Agreement (TISA) also being currently negotiated by… ...
    GreensBy Gareth Hughes MP
    8 hours ago
  • Health chickens coming home to roost as Dunedin loses right to train doctor...
    News today that Dunedin Hospital has lost orthopaedic training accreditation is a major blow and proves the Government’s prevarication is having devastating consequences, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says. “Losing orthopaedic advanced training is serious. There is a knock on… ...
    1 day ago
  • $74,000 quarterly rise shows crisis out of control
    New figures out today showing Auckland house prices have spiked by a massive $74,000 in the past quarter is further evidence the city’s housing crisis has spiralled out of control, Labour’s “In spite of constant announcements and photo opportunities from… ...
    1 day ago
  • Democracy for Nauru now
    Murray McCully must send the strongest possible message to the Nauruan Government that New Zealand does not condone its actions given the disturbing developments there, Labour’s Foreign Affairs spokesperson David Shearer says. “Right now we are seeing Nauru stripped of… ...
    1 day ago
  • Recovery needs more than a rebrand
    Today’s announcement of new governance arrangements for Canterbury seems to be nothing more than a fresh coat of paint on the same old approach, says Labour’s Canterbury Earthquake Recovery spokesperson Ruth Dyson. “The Canterbury Recovery has been too slow, with… ...
    1 day ago
  • Copper decision a victory for status quo, not Kiwi households
    New Zealanders hoping for cheaper copper broadband will be disappointed by the Commerce Commission’s latest decision in the long running saga to determine the price of copper, Labour’s ICT spokesperson Clare Curran says. “In an apparent attempt to appease everyone,… ...
    1 day ago
  • It’s time for hard decisions in the Bay
     The Ruataniwha dam project is turning into a huge white elephant as the economics fail to stack up, says Labour’s Water spokesperson Meka Whaitiri.  “Ruataniwha simply doesn’t make economic sense when you look at other major irrigation schemes around the… ...
    1 day ago
  • More testing won’t lift student achievement
    Hekia Parata’s latest plan to subject school students to even more testing and assessment won’t do anything to lift the educational achievement of the kids who are struggling, Labour’s Education spokesperson Chris Hipkins says. “New Zealand school students are already… ...
    1 day ago
  • Bad week for NZ economy gets worse
    The bad news for the New Zealand economy got worse this morning with the 8th successive drop in dairy prices at this morning’s global dairy auction, again exposing the absence of any Plan B from the National Government, Labour’s Finance… ...
    1 day ago
  • System failing to protect women and children from family violence
    Last week we called for mandatory child safety investigations in domestic violence cases. This came after the coronial inquiry into the deaths of Bradley and Ellen Livingstone and the verdict in the trial of the west Auckland boys charged with… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    2 days ago
  • Backers banking on social bonds cash?
    The Government is refusing to say what the $29 million it has set aside for its controversial social bonds programme is for, raising suspicions it is an upfront payment to the project backers, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says. A… ...
    2 days ago
  • Plastic Free July
    Today is the start of Plastic Free July. Since its inception in Perth, Western Australia four years ago, more and more people and organisations from around the world have joined the call to refuse single use plastic products. Nearly all… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    2 days ago
  • State house sell off Bill gives extraordinary powers
    The Government is about to give Ministers extraordinary powers to take direct personal control of selling state houses, exempting Ministers from normal legal requirements and leaving the sale process wide open for corruption, Labour's Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. The… ...
    2 days ago
  • Cash for charter schools, mould for state schools
    At a time when state schools are struggling in old, cold, mouldy buildings and can barely make ends meet, the National Government is shovelling cash at charter schools which aren’t even spending the funding on kids’ education, Labour’s Education spokesperson… ...
    2 days ago
  • New Zealand needs a wise response to climate change
    Today in Parliament I got to hear from a group of New Zealanders who are concerned for the future of our country. Called Wise Response, the group is a broad coalition of academics, engineers, lawyers, artists, sportspeople and others who… ...
    GreensBy Russel Norman MP
    2 days ago
  • No alternative as waste scheme trashed
    Nick Smith must explain how he is going to prevent contamination of New Zealand’s ground and water with liquid and hazardous waste after scrapping the only monitoring scheme and offering no replacement, says Labour’s Environment Spokesperson Megan Woods. “From today,… ...
    2 days ago
  • Flawed system rates death traps as safe
    ACC Minister Nikki Kaye needs to come clean about what really lies behind the reclassification of 18 vehicles in her new motor vehicle registration system introduced today, Labour’s ACC spokesperson Sue Moroney says. "New Zealanders deserve the truth about the… ...
    2 days ago
  • Tiwai Smelter and 800 workers left in limbo
     Workers at Tiwai smelter and the people of Southland have once again been left in limbo over their future in the ongoing debacle over whether the plant stays open, says Labour’s Leader Andrew Little.  “It’s not good enough that after two years of… ...
    2 days ago
  • New twist in state house sell-off saga
    The Government has opened the door to buyers of state houses simply being landlords and not required to provide social services, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. The Prime Minister said at his post-Cabinet press conference buyers would not “have… ...
    2 days ago
  • Government fees will hit charities hard
    National’s decision to ignore the concerns of charities will see the voluntary sector face hundreds of thousands of dollars in new costs if the Policing (Cost Recovery) Amendment Bill passes, says Labour's Community and Voluntary Sector spokesperson Poto Williams. “National’s… ...
    3 days ago
  • Four out of ten for Simon’s Bridges
    The Transport Authority’s decision to fund only four of the 10 bridges promised in National’s shameless Northland by-election bribe is a huge embarrassment for Transport Minister Simon Bridges, Labour’s Transport spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “After one by-election poll showed they… ...
    3 days ago
  • Falling consents adding to Auckland housing woes
    Falling numbers of building consents being issued in Auckland will add to the city’s housing shortfall and fuel skyrocketing house prices, Labour’s Housing spokesperson Phil Twyford “The Productivity Commission found there was a shortfall of around 32,000 houses by the… ...
    3 days ago
  • So Mr English, do you have a plan?
    DIpping confidence about jobs, wages and shrinking exports are highlighting the lack of a plan from the government to diversify the economy and build sustainable growth, Grant Robertson  Labour’s Finance Spokesperson said. " Data released over the last week… ...
    3 days ago
  • Serious risks to tenants and assets in sell-off
    Overseas evidence shows there are serious risks around the Government's plan to sell off state houses to social housing providers, Opposition Leader Andrew Little says. “In the Netherlands – where community housing providers supply the majority of social housing –… ...
    4 days ago
  • Land of milk and money
    Kiwi families are paying over the top prices for their milk and someone is creaming off big profits, says Labour’s Consumer Affairs spokesperson David Shearer. “In 2011 the Government told us high New Zealand milk prices were a natural result… ...
    5 days ago
  • MoBIE largesse doesn’t stop with TVs and hair-straighteners
    The number of MoBIE staff earning more than $150,000 has risen 23 per cent in just a year, Labour’s Economic Development Spokesperson David Clark says. Documents obtained from the Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment show there are now nearly… ...
    5 days ago
  • English wants to flog state houses to Aussies
    Bill English’s admission that he would sell hundreds of New Zealand’s state houses to the Australians is the latest lurch in the Government’s stumbling, half-baked housing policy, Labour’s housing spokesperson Phil Twyford says. “Bill English should face reality and admit his… ...
    6 days ago
  • Exports continue to fall as Government fails to diversify
    The Government quickly needs a plan to diversify our economy after new figures show that exports are continuing to fall due to the collapse in dairy exports, Labour's Finance Spokesperson Grant Robertson says. “Dairy exports fell 28 per cent compared… ...
    1 week ago
  • Government inaction leads to blurring of roles
    The Treasury wouldn’t have had to warn the Reserve Bank to stick to its core functions if the Government had taken prompt and substantial measures to rein in skyrocketing Auckland house prices, Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson says. “The problems… ...
    1 week ago
  • Courthouse closures hitting regions
    The Government’s decision to shut down up to eight regional courthouses, some supposedly only temporarily for seismic reasons, looks unlikely to be reversed, Labour’s Justice spokesperson Jacinda Ardern says.“The move has hit these regions hard, but appears to be a… ...
    1 week ago
  • A Victory for Te Tiriti o Waitangi
    This week my partner, who has a number of professions, was doing an archaeological assessment for a District Council. He showed me the new rules around archaeologists which require them to demonstrate “sufficient skill and competency in relation to Māori… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    1 week ago
  • Tough bar set for Ruataniwha dam
     Today’s final decision by the Tukituki Catchment Board of Inquiry is good news for the river and the environment, says Labour’s Water spokesperson Meka Whaitiri. “Setting a strict level of dissolved nitrogen in the catchment’s waters will ensure that the… ...
    1 week ago
  • Minister for Women and National missing the mark – part two
    The Minister for Women was in front of the select committee yesterday answering questions about her plans for women. Some useful context is that we used to have a Pay and Employment Equity Unit within the then Department of Labour… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    1 week ago
  • Lavish penthouse spend confirms culture of extravagance
    At the same time thousands of New Zealanders are being locked out of the property market, the Government is spending up on a lavish New York penthouse for its diplomats, Labour’s Foreign Affairs spokesperson David Shearer says. News that taxpayers… ...
    1 week ago
  • Māori Television exodus cause for concern
    The shock departure of yet another leading journalist from the Native Affairs team raises further concern the Board and Chief Executive are dissatisfied with the team’s editorial content, says Labour’s Māori Development spokesperson Nanaia Mahuta. “Annabelle Lee is an experienced… ...
    1 week ago
  • Million-plus car owners to pay too much ACC
    More than a million car owners will pay higher ACC motor vehicle registration than necessary from July, Labour’s ACC spokesperson Sue Moroney says. “During a select committee hearing this morning it was revealed that car owners would have been charged… ...
    1 week ago
  • Bill will restore democracy to local councils
    A new Labour Member’s Bill will restore democracy to local authorities and stop amalgamations being forced on councils. Napier MP Stuart Nash’s Local Government Act 2002 (Greater Local Democracy) Bill will be debated by Parliament after being pulled from the… ...
    1 week ago
  • Minister for Women again misses the mark – part one
    Yesterday I asked the Minister for Women about the government’s poor performance on it’s own target of appointing women to 45% of state board positions. I challenged why she’d put out a media release celebrating progress this year when the… ...
    GreensBy Jan Logie MP
    1 week ago
  • Banks enter Dragon’s Den in pitch for Government’s mental health experi...
    Overseas banks and their preferred providers were asked to pitch their ideas for bankrolling the Government’s social bonds scheme to a Dragon’s Den-style panel, Labour’s Health spokesperson Annette King says. Dragon’s Den was a reality television series where prospective ‘entrepreneurs’… ...
    1 week ago
  • Global Mode bullying won’t stop people accessing content
    It’s disappointing that strong-arm tactics from powerful media companies have meant Global Mode will not get its day in court. Today a settlement was reached terminating the Global Mode service, developed in New Zealand by ByPass Network Services and used… ...
    GreensBy Gareth Hughes MP
    1 week ago
  • More questions – why was the Former National Party President involved wit...
    Today in Parliament Murray  McCully said the reason Michelle Boag was involved in 2011 in the Saudi farm scandal was in her capacity as a member of the New Zealand Middle East Business Council. The problem with that answer is… ...
    1 week ago
  • Minister must explain Maori TV interference
    Te Ururoa Flavell must explain why he told Maori TV staff all complaints about the CEO must come to him – months before he became the Minister responsible for the broadcaster, Labour’s Broadcasting Spokesperson Clare Curran says. “Sources have told… ...
    1 week ago
  • KiwiSaver takes a hammering after the end of kick-start
    National seems hell bent on destroying New Zealand’s saving culture given today’s news that there has been a drop in new enrolments for KiwiSaver, says Labour’s Finance spokesperson Grant Robertson.  “New enrolments for the ANZ Investments KiwiSaver scheme have plunged… ...
    1 week ago
  • Straight answers needed on CYF role
    The Government needs to explain the role that Child, Youth and Family plays in cases where there is evidence that family violence was flagged as a concern, Labour’s Children’s spokesperson Jacinda Arden says. “The fact that CYF is refusing to… ...
    1 week ago
  • Prime Minister confuses his political interests with NZ’s interest
    The Prime Minister’s statement in Parliament yesterday that a Minister who paid a facilitation payment to unlock a free trade agreement would retain his confidence is an abhorrent development in the Saudi sheep scandal, Opposition leader Andrew Little says.  ...
    1 week ago
  • #raisethequota
    Last Saturday was World Refugee Day. I was privileged to spend most of my day with the amazing refugee communities in Auckland. Their stories have been inspiring and reflect the ‘can-do’ Kiwi spirit, even though they come from all different… ...
    GreensBy Denise Roche MP
    1 week ago
  • Dairy conversions causing more pollution than ever, report shows
    The Parliamentary Commissioner for the Environment (PCE) released two reports on freshwater quality and management last Friday. The water quality report shows that dairy conversions are hurting water quality and says that despite great efforts with fencing and planting, large… ...
    GreensBy Catherine Delahunty MP
    1 week ago
  • Employers want urgent action on health and safety
    Moves by National to water down health and safety reforms have been slammed by employers – the very group the Government claims is pushing for change, says Labour’s spokesperson for Labour Relations Iain Lees-Galloway. “The Employers and Manufacturers’ Association has… ...
    1 week ago
  • Labour calls on all parties to end coat-tailing
    Labour MP Iain Lees-Galloway is encouraging all parties to support his Bill to end the coat-tailing provision when it is debated in Parliament this week.  “New Zealanders have sent MPs a clear message. An opinion poll found more than 70… ...
    1 week ago

Public service advertisements by The Standard

Current CO2 level in the atmosphere