Wanaka Has No Crime
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- Date published:
5:06 pm, December 28th, 2023 - 47 comments
Categories: Deep stuff, sustainability, tourism, uncategorized -
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Wanaka banned single-use coffee cups this year.
The purpose of everyone in New Zealand is to keep Wanaka pure.
In Wanaka when you buy your third free trade single source coffee, they bring you the Guyanan slave you’re about to set free, and a selfie.
In Wanaka the supermarkets are empty of people and everything is door-delivered by bicycle.
Every bread roll is rolled on the thigh of a teenage Brazilian.
A teenager without a global triathalon or skiing medal may as well come from Dunedin. Or worse Oamaru.
Outside Wanaka there is a mountain of rusted car bodies where the border guards haul everyone out of petrol cars and just shoot them.
The Principal at Aspiring College makes students recite all their mornings’ muesli ingredients.
Parents formed Rhythm and Vines to ensure no teenager ever set foot in Wanaka and it’s worked for a decade.
Queenstown is to Wanaka what Bangladesh is to Bhutan.
Owning an acre means you made it, anything smaller means you’re renter class.
The purebred forcefield kills all mixed dogs trying to get into Wanaka.
Doctors only allow you to have sex once they can count your abs.
Maori have to make an appointment.
Jesus came down from the clouds with a sword, looked around, shrugged with a “fair enough”, and popped straight back up.
Maori in Wanaka with South Island Landless Natives Act land require a full Environment Court hearing before being allowed to do anything with it.
During the egg crisis the caged dozens were just left on the shelves.
The New Year fireworks will celebrate that over half the population signed a petition against having just one fast food restaurant, so last month McDonalds actually withdrew its resource consent application.
Only Auckland refugees still need to talk about money. It’s easier after your sixth million.
There’s no need to go on holiday since you’re already there.
All poor people, social workers, ex-convicts, hotel workers, drivers, waiters, and idiots are granted invisibility cloaks.
Wanaka has no poor people, no drugs, no inequality, and the people sleeping in vans are actually the help so don’t complain.
No one in Wanaka ever got COVID …
… because perfect health is a gift.
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- Release: Progress on climate will be undone by GovtNew Zealand’s good work at reducing climate emissions for three years in a row will be undone by the National government’s lack of ambition and scrapping programmes that were making a difference, Labour Party climate spokesperson Megan Woods said today. ...2 weeks ago
- Release: Dark day for Kiwi kids as a third of Govt cuts affect themNews that 1000 jobs at the Ministry of Education and Oranga Tamariki could go is devastating for future generations of New Zealanders. ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Alarm as Government signals further blow to school lunchesMore essential jobs could be on the chopping block, this time Ministry of Education staff on the school lunches team are set to find out whether they're in line to lose their jobs. ...3 weeks ago
- Oranga Tamariki cuts commit tamariki to state abuseTe Pāti Māori is disgusted at the confirmation that hundreds are set to lose their jobs at Oranga Tamariki, and the disestablishment of the Treaty Response Unit. “This act of absolute carelessness and out of touch decision making is committing tamariki to state abuse.” Said Te Pāti Māori Oranga Tamariki ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Quick, submit – stop Govt’s dodgy approvals billThe Government is trying to bring in a law that will allow Ministers to cut corners and kill off native species, Labour environment spokesperson Rachel Brooking said. ...3 weeks ago
- Government throws coal on the climate crisis fireThe Government’s policy announced today to ease consenting for coal mining will have a lasting impact across generations. ...3 weeks ago
- Release: Public transport costs to double as National looks at unaffordable roading project insteadCancelling urgently needed new Cook Strait ferries and hiking the cost of public transport for many Kiwis so that National can announce the prospect of another tunnel for Wellington is not making good choices, Labour Transport Spokesperson Tangi Utikere said. ...3 weeks ago
- Agreement delivers Local Water Done Well for Auckland
The Government has delivered on its election promise to provide a financially sustainable model for Auckland under its Local Water Done Well plan. The plan, which has been unanimously endorsed by Auckland Council’s Governing Body, will see Aucklanders avoid the previously projected 25.8 per cent water rates increases while retaining ...1 hour ago - Gaza and the Pacific on the agenda with GermanyForeign Minister Winston Peters discussed the need for an immediate ceasefire in Gaza, and enhanced cooperation in the Pacific with German Foreign Minister Annalena Baerbock during her first official visit to New Zealand today. "New Zealand and Germany enjoy shared interests and values, including the rule of law, democracy, respect for the international system ...1 day ago
- Decision allows for housing growth in Western Bay of PlentyThe Minister Responsible for RMA Reform, Chris Bishop today released his decision on four recommendations referred to him by the Western Bay of Plenty District Council, opening the door to housing growth in the area. The Council’s Plan Change 92 allows more homes to be built in existing and new ...2 days ago
- Speech to New Zealand China CouncilThank you, John McKinnon and the New Zealand China Council for the invitation to speak to you today. Thank you too, all members of the China Council. Your effort has played an essential role in helping to build, shape, and grow a balanced and resilient relationship between our two ...2 days ago
- Modern insurance law will protect Kiwi householdsThe Government is modernising insurance law to better protect Kiwis and provide security in the event of a disaster, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly announced today. “These reforms are long overdue. New Zealand’s insurance law is complicated and dated, some of which is more than 100 years old. ...3 days ago
- Government recommits to equal payThe coalition Government is refreshing its approach to supporting pay equity claims as time-limited funding for the Pay Equity Taskforce comes to an end, Public Service Minister Nicola Willis says. “Three years ago, the then-government introduced changes to the Equal Pay Act to support pay equity bargaining. The changes were ...3 days ago
- Transforming how our children learn to readStructured literacy will change the way New Zealand children learn to read - improving achievement and setting students up for success, Education Minister Erica Stanford says. “Being able to read and write is a fundamental life skill that too many young people are missing out on. Recent data shows that ...3 days ago
- NZ not backing down in Canada dairy disputeTrade Minister Todd McClay says Canada’s refusal to comply in full with a CPTPP trade dispute ruling in our favour over dairy trade is cynical and New Zealand has no intention of backing down. Mr McClay said he has asked for urgent legal advice in respect of our ‘next move’ ...3 days ago
- Stronger oversight for our most vulnerable childrenThe rights of our children and young people will be enhanced by changes the coalition Government will make to strengthen oversight of the Oranga Tamariki system, including restoring a single Children’s Commissioner. “The Government is committed to delivering better public services that care for our most at-risk young people and ...3 days ago
- Streamlining Building Consent ChangesThe Government is making it easier for minor changes to be made to a building consent so building a home is easier and more affordable, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says. “The coalition Government is focused on making it easier and cheaper to build homes so we can ...3 days ago
- Minister acknowledges passing of Sir Robert Martin (KNZM)New Zealand lost a true legend when internationally renowned disability advocate Sir Robert Martin (KNZM) passed away at his home in Whanganui last night, Disabilities Issues Minister Louise Upston says. “Our Government’s thoughts are with his wife Lynda, family and community, those he has worked with, the disability community in ...4 days ago
- Speech to New Zealand Institute of International Affairs, Parliament – Annual Lecture: Challenges ...Good evening – Before discussing the challenges and opportunities facing New Zealand’s foreign policy, we’d like to first acknowledge the New Zealand Institute of International Affairs. You have contributed to debates about New Zealand foreign policy over a long period of time, and we thank you for hosting us. ...4 days ago
- Accelerating airport security linesFrom today, passengers travelling internationally from Auckland Airport will be able to keep laptops and liquids in their carry-on bags for security screening thanks to new technology, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. “Creating a more efficient and seamless travel experience is important for holidaymakers and businesses, enabling faster movement through ...4 days ago
- Community hui to talk about kina barrensPeople with an interest in the health of Northland’s marine ecosystems are invited to a public meeting to discuss how to deal with kina barrens, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. Mr Jones will lead the discussion, which will take place on Friday, 10 May, at Awanui Hotel in ...4 days ago
- Kiwi exporters win as NZ-EU FTA enters into forceKiwi exporters are $100 million better off today with the NZ EU FTA entering into force says Trade Minister Todd McClay. “This is all part of our plan to grow the economy. New Zealand's prosperity depends on international trade, making up 60 per cent of the country’s total economic activity. ...4 days ago
- Mining resurgence a welcome signThere are heartening signs that the extractive sector is once again becoming an attractive prospect for investors and a source of economic prosperity for New Zealand, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. “The beginnings of a resurgence in extractive industries are apparent in media reports of the sector in the past ...4 days ago
- Ō-Rākau Remembrance Bill passes first readingThe return of the historic Ō-Rākau battle site to the descendants of those who fought there moved one step closer today with the first reading of Te Pire mō Ō-Rākau, Te Pae o Maumahara / The Ō-Rākau Remembrance Bill. The Bill will entrust the 9.7-hectare battle site, five kilometres west ...5 days ago
- Government to boost public EV charging networkEnergy Minister Simeon Brown has announced 25 new high-speed EV charging hubs along key routes between major urban centres and outlined the Government’s plan to supercharge New Zealand’s EV infrastructure. The hubs will each have several chargers and be capable of charging at least four – and up to 10 ...5 days ago
- Residential Property Managers Bill to not progressThe coalition Government will not proceed with the previous Government’s plans to regulate residential property managers, Housing Minister Chris Bishop says. “I have written to the Chairperson of the Social Services and Community Committee to inform him that the Government does not intend to support the Residential Property Managers Bill ...5 days ago
- Independent review into disability support servicesThe Government has announced an independent review into the disability support system funded by the Ministry of Disabled People – Whaikaha. Disability Issues Minister Louise Upston says the review will look at what can be done to strengthen the long-term sustainability of Disability Support Services to provide disabled people and ...5 days ago
- Justice Minister updates UN on law & order planJustice Minister Paul Goldsmith has attended the Universal Periodic Review in Geneva and outlined the Government’s plan to restore law and order. “Speaking to the United Nations Human Rights Council provided us with an opportunity to present New Zealand’s human rights progress, priorities, and challenges, while responding to issues and ...5 days ago
- Ending emergency housing motels in RotoruaThe Government and Rotorua Lakes Council are committed to working closely together to end the use of contracted emergency housing motels in Rotorua. Associate Minister of Housing (Social Housing) Tama Potaka says the Government remains committed to ending the long-term use of contracted emergency housing motels in Rotorua by the ...5 days ago
- Trade Minister travels to Riyadh, OECD, and DubaiTrade Minister Todd McClay heads overseas today for high-level trade talks in the Gulf region, and a key OECD meeting in Paris. Mr McClay will travel to Riyadh to meet with counterparts from Saudi Arabia and the Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC). “New Zealand’s goods and services exports to the Gulf region ...6 days ago
- Education priorities focused on lifting achievementEducation Minister Erica Stanford has outlined six education priorities to deliver a world-leading education system that sets Kiwi kids up for future success. “I’m putting ambition, achievement and outcomes at the heart of our education system. I want every child to be inspired and engaged in their learning so they ...6 days ago
- NZTA App first step towards digital driver licenceThe new NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) App is a secure ‘one stop shop’ to provide the services drivers need, Transport Minister Simeon Brown and Digitising Government Minister Judith Collins say. “The NZTA App will enable an easier way for Kiwis to pay for Vehicle Registration and Road User Charges (RUC). ...6 days ago
- Supporting whānau out of emergency housingWhānau with tamariki growing up in emergency housing motels will be prioritised for social housing starting this week, says Associate Housing Minister Tama Potaka. “Giving these whānau a better opportunity to build healthy stable lives for themselves and future generations is an essential part of the Government’s goal of reducing ...6 days ago
- Tribute to Dave O'SullivanRacing Minister Winston Peters has paid tribute to an icon of the industry with the recent passing of Dave O’Sullivan (OBE). “Our sympathies are with the O’Sullivan family with the sad news of Dave O’Sullivan’s recent passing,” Mr Peters says. “His contribution to racing, initially as a jockey and then ...6 days ago
- Speech – Eid al-FitrAssalaamu alaikum, greetings to you all. Eid Mubarak, everyone! I want to extend my warmest wishes to you and everyone celebrating this joyous occasion. It is a pleasure to be here. I have enjoyed Eid celebrations at Parliament before, but this is my first time joining you as the Minister ...6 days ago
- Government saves access to medicinesAssociate Health Minister David Seymour has announced Pharmac’s largest ever budget of $6.294 billion over four years, fixing a $1.774 billion fiscal cliff. “Access to medicines is a crucial part of many Kiwis’ lives. We’ve committed to a budget allocation of $1.774 billion over four years so Kiwis are ...6 days ago
- Pharmac Chair appointedHon Paula Bennett has been appointed as member and chair of the Pharmac board, Associate Health Minister David Seymour announced today. "Pharmac is a critical part of New Zealand's health system and plays a significant role in ensuring that Kiwis have the best possible access to medicines,” says Mr Seymour. ...1 week ago
- Taking action on Fetal Alcohol Spectrum DisorderHundreds of New Zealand families affected by Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) will benefit from a new Government focus on prevention and treatment, says Health Minister Dr Shane Reti. “We know FASD is a leading cause of preventable intellectual and neurodevelopmental disability in New Zealand,” Dr Reti says. “Every day, ...1 week ago
- New sports complex opens in KaikoheRegional Development Minister Shane Jones today attended the official opening of Kaikohe’s new $14.7 million sports complex. “The completion of the Kaikohe Multi Sports Complex is a fantastic achievement for the Far North,” Mr Jones says. “This facility not only fulfils a long-held dream for local athletes, but also creates ...1 week ago
- Diplomacy needed more than everForeign Minister Winston Peters’ engagements in Türkiye this week underlined the importance of diplomacy to meet growing global challenges. “Returning to the Gallipoli Peninsula to represent New Zealand at Anzac commemorations was a sombre reminder of the critical importance of diplomacy for de-escalating conflicts and easing tensions,” Mr Peters ...1 week ago
- Anzac Commemorative Address, Buttes New British Cemetery BelgiumAmbassador Millar, Burgemeester, Vandepitte, Excellencies, military representatives, distinguished guests, ladies and gentlemen – good morning and welcome to this sacred Anzac Day dawn service. It is an honour to be here on behalf of the Government and people of New Zealand at Buttes New British Cemetery, Polygon Wood – a deeply ...1 week ago
- Anzac Commemorative Address – NZ National Service, Chunuk BairDistinguished guests - It is an honour to return once again to this site which, as the resting place for so many of our war-dead, has become a sacred place for generations of New Zealanders. Our presence here and at the other special spaces of Gallipoli is made ...1 week ago
- Anzac Commemorative Address – Dawn Service, Gallipoli, TürkiyeMai ia tawhiti pamamao, te moana nui a Kiwa, kua tae whakaiti mai matou, ki to koutou papa whenua. No koutou te tapuwae, no matou te tapuwae, kua honoa pumautia. Ko nga toa kua hinga nei, o te Waipounamu, o te Ika a Maui, he okioki tahi me o ...1 week ago
- PM announces changes to portfoliosPaul Goldsmith will take on responsibility for the Media and Communications portfolio, while Louise Upston will pick up the Disability Issues portfolio, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon announced today. “Our Government is relentlessly focused on getting New Zealand back on track. As issues change in prominence, I plan to adjust Ministerial ...2 weeks ago
- New catch limits for unique fishery areasRecreational catch limits will be reduced in areas of Fiordland and the Chatham Islands to help keep those fisheries healthy and sustainable, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. The lower recreational daily catch limits for a range of finfish and shellfish species caught in the Fiordland Marine Area and ...2 weeks ago
- Minister welcomes hydrogen milestoneEnergy Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed an important milestone in New Zealand’s hydrogen future, with the opening of the country’s first network of hydrogen refuelling stations in Wiri. “I want to congratulate the team at Hiringa Energy and its partners K one W one (K1W1), Mitsui & Co New Zealand ...2 weeks ago
- Urgent changes to system through first RMA Amendment BillThe coalition Government is delivering on its commitment to improve resource management laws and give greater certainty to consent applicants, with a Bill to amend the Resource Management Act (RMA) expected to be introduced to Parliament next month. RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop has today outlined the first RMA Amendment ...2 weeks ago
- 'Māori Seabed, For Shore!' – Two decades on from the largest hīkoi in a generation
Twenty years has passed since the historic hīkoi against the controversial Foreshore and Seabed Act reached Parliament. ...5 hours ago - An Ode to .. Julie Anne Genter
Genterwocky After a hard days marching, Sir Doocey calls in at the Village Tavern For a pint of ale and a pork pie. The grim villagers stare at him. “Do not be travelling on the forest road,” warns a crusty old beak. “And why is that, antique peasant?” Grins Sir ...5 hours ago - National aims high while struggling to take offPolitical conferences after a party returns to power are usually a chance for some healthy, even unhealthy backslapping. Yet National Party president Sylvia Wood’s address to its mainland representatives on Saturday hardly contained the unalloyed delight that one might have expected following National’s escape from the wilderness of opposition. Yes, ...6 hours ago
- Real journalists can lead the war against deepfakesComment: Almost half the world is voting in national elections this year and artificial intelligence is the elephant in the room. There are genuine fears AI-generated or AI-edited deepfakes will potentially manipulate election outcomes not just in the US and UK, but critically in countries such as India. For that ...7 hours ago
- Meet the cast of Married at First Sight NZ for 2024
Ahead of the reality franchise’s return to New Zealand, allow us to introduce the eight brides and grooms. Chuck on a veil and tie back your man bun, because it’s time to say “I do” to a new season of Married at First Sight NZ. The reality TV “social experiment” ...8 hours ago - The good news is the government plans to cancel $3 billion in student debt. The bad news is indexati...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Andrew Norton, Professor in the Practice of Higher Education Policy, Australian National University Every year on June 1, student debt in Australia is indexed to inflation. In 2023, high inflation pushed the indexation rate to 7.1%, the highest since 1990. This ...10 hours ago - Albanese government to wipe $3 billion in student debt, benefitting three million peopleSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michelle Grattan, Professorial Fellow, University of Canberra Changes in the May 14 budget will cut the student debt of more than three million people, wiping more than $3 billion from what people owe. The government will cap the HELP indexation rate ...13 hours ago
- ICC demands end to threats against court amid Gaza war probeAsia Pacific Report The prosecutor’s office at the International Criminal Court (ICC) has appealed for an end to what it calls intimidation of its staff, saying such threats could constitute an offence against the “administration of justice” by the world’s permanent war crimes court. The Hague-based office of ICC Prosecutor ...14 hours ago
- New Caledonia’s women sit-in to support smeared Kanak journalistBy Patrick Decloitre, RNZ Pacific correspondent French Pacific desk A women’s union in New Caledonia has staged a sit-in protest this week to support senior Kanak indigenous journalist Thérèse Waia, who works for public broadcaster Nouvelle-Calédonie la Première, after a smear attack by critics. The peaceful demonstration was held on ...15 hours ago
- New Zealand signs deal with Germany on Antarctica cooperationThe memorandum of understanding with Germany's Alfred Wegener Institute is expected to foster cooperation between the two polar science bodies. ...20 hours ago
- NZ food safety agency monitoring Indian spice mix recallsNew Zealand Food Safety is monitoring overseas recalls of Indian packaged spice products manufactured by MDH and Everest due to concerns over a cancer-causing pesticide. ...23 hours ago
- Fiji’s media freedom ranking jumps, Papua New Guinea’s plummetsBy Stephen Wright and Stefan Armbruster of BenarNews Fiji’s ranking in a global press freedom index has jumped into the top tier of countries with free or mostly free media after its government last year repealed a draconian law that threatened journalists with prison for doing their jobs. Fiji’s improvement ...1 day ago
- The Boy in the Water: ‘I just can’t do this anymore’We might be in Invercargill but all anyone can talk about is Gore. Specifically, Salford Street. That’s where three-year-old Lachlan Jones lived, south of the centre of town, between the A&P Showgrounds and the Mataura River. Roughly 1.2 km away from the single level home he lived in with his ...1 day ago
- 'Data is the new oil': Call to save jobs of data security guardsNew Zealanders' data is at risk with the government's "unintelligent" proposal to cut information security jobs, the Privacy Foundation says. ...1 day ago
- Liam Hewson seeks answers in natureKeen hiker and second-year MSc student Liam Hewson wears two hats when he’s in the great outdoors. “The scientist in me appreciates nature and goes, ‘Oh, there’s that thing and there’s another thing,’ but then the tramper and the outdoorsy person in me thinks, ‘Cool bush.’” Born and bred in ...1 day ago
- The Secret Diary of .. Coalition Sheriff LuxonMONDAY I lined up the latest round of civil servants from city hall against the wall, and signalled for the firing squad to drop their rifles. I stepped up onto a wooden crate to look at the office workers in the eye. But that didn’t feel right, so I found ...1 day ago
- Dan Carter won’t stop kickingAfter a long and illustrious career as a goal kicker, Dan Carter’s favourite way to unwind is… kicking goals. Why can’t he get enough of it? And what it’s like to watch him do it for an hour straight? A semicircle of people wielding cameras and phones has formed in ...1 day ago
- ‘Everybody rolls their eyes’: Dame Susan Devoy’s guilty TV pleasureDame Susan Devoy takes us through her life in television, including late night ER debriefs, her proudest CTI moment and the show she watches in secret. Quite aside from her four world champion squash titles, Dame Susan Devoy will likely go down in history as one of the best Celebrity ...1 day ago
- Dunedin’s secondhand bookshops, ranked and reviewedHera Lindsay Bird reveals the best places in Ōtepoti to score more for your apocalypse-prep book hoard. Sometimes I get the feeling I’ve been killed in a car crash, and this second half of my life is just the brain unspooling itself, like one of those episodes of a hospital ...1 day ago
- Review: High Country is the ideal crime drama for a cold winter nightThreeNow’s new murder mystery series takes us on a dark, damp journey into the Australian wilderness. This is an excerpt from our weekly pop culture newsletter Rec Room. Sign up here. High Country is ThreeNow’s new Australian eight-part crime drama, set in a remote part of the Victorian highlands. It tells ...1 day ago
- Welcome to The WeekendIntroducing a new way to read The Spinoff every weekend. After nearly 10 years of being an online magazine, we’re finally embracing the weekend liftout. Despite our best efforts to convince you otherwise, writers and editors at The Spinoff don’t work weekend. It is through the sheer power of technology ...1 day ago
- Tips and tricks for when your therapist looks like your dadTip one: let yourself be nurtured by this big old man. Tip two: don’t ask him to adopt you. So, you’ve arrived at your first session with a new therapist. He tells you to make yourself comfortable and you opt for the tweed armchair, hoping it makes you look like ...1 day ago
- The Sunday Essay: The books that electrify and consume youI didn’t know books could open you back up; that there were books that stayed with you, where reading was like a chemical event. I knew nothing. The Sunday Essay is made possible thanks to the support of Creative New Zealand. Not too long ago, I was listening to the American ...1 day ago
- The Enhanced games, where drug use isn’t cheatingFormer Olympic swimmer James Magnussen has already started training for the Enhanced games, though says he won’t start taking performance enhancing substances until about nine months out from the competition. The Australian world champion was the first athlete to be announced by Enhanced, but he says the organisation has had ...1 day ago
- Short story: The boat in the shed, by Kyle MewburnEveryone thinks he’s dead. Every day they expect his body to be washed up along the coast. Most likely up Karitane way, the way the tide’s running. But nobody’ll be too surprised if his body’s never found. Even in death he wouldn’t have wished for such attention. He would have ...1 day ago
- USP Council votes to bring controversial VC back to FijiCouncil members voted 21 to 4 in favour of Ahluwalia returning to the Laucala campus following a much-awaited meeting in Vanuatu this week. It comes as USP and its two unions — the Association of the University of the South Pacific Staff (AUSPS) and the Administration and Support Staff Union ...2 days ago
- Public health expert urges govt to focus on disease preventionThe government needs to step up in the wake of a report showing a third of Kiwis have unmet health needs, Professor Boyd Swinburn says. ...2 days ago
- Figures like Andrew Tate may help spread misogyny. But they’re amplifying – not causing – the ...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Nicola Henry, Professor & Australian Research Council Future Fellow, Social and Global Studies Centre, RMIT University Shutterstock Following an emergency meeting of the National Cabinet this week, Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has announced a raft of measures to tackle the problem ...2 days ago
- Free speech debate back on as Victoria University expands diversity on panelA perceived right-wing bias and concerns about panellist diversity have pushed Victoria University to reformat its debate. ...2 days ago
- Week in Politics: Polls, pay rises and a Green MP in troubleAnalysis - A poll showing the opposition is more popular than the government raises questions, politicians go through their 'trial by pay rise' and a Green MP loses her cool in the debating chamber. ...2 days ago
- Māori win customary title over Tokomaru Bay on East CoastThe entire stretch of Tokomaru Bay on the East Coast will be subject to a joint customary marine title for two hapū, and extending up to four miles out to sea. A High Court judge has found the two groups, who during the case settled a dispute over boundaries for ...2 days ago
- Universal’s music is returning to TikTok, ending a spat that hurt fans more than anyoneSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By James Hall, Lecturer, Media & Cultural Studies, Edith Cowan University A longstanding feud between TikTok and Universal Music Group seems to have finally reached an end, with both parties signing a deal that will see Universal-backed music returned to the social media ...2 days ago
- To tackle gendered violence, we also need to look at drugs, trauma and mental healthSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Siobhan O’Dean, Postdoctoral Research Associate, The Matilda Centre for Research in Mental Health and Substance Use, University of Sydney After several highly publicised alleged murders of women in Australia, the Albanese government this week pledged more than A$925 million over five years ...2 days ago
- National raised $10.4m in donations in 2023Political parties have now fully disclosed the donations they received last year - with National getting more than double the cash of any other party. ...2 days ago
- Don't 'mistake' Pacific leaders 'quietness' on AUKUS as support for NZ'...A Pacific regionalism expert has called out New Zealand's Foreign Affairs Minister Winston Peters for withholding information from the public on AUKUS military pact. ...2 days ago
- Florist says Julie Anne Genter exchange was 'massive imbalance of power'The Wellington woman says she felt degraded and humiliated after being confronted by the Green MP. ...2 days ago
- China’s new Moon mission is about to launch, and it’s a rare example of countries working togeth...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Richard de Grijs, Professor of Astrophysics, Macquarie University Bruno Scramgnon/Pexels All systems are “go” for tonight’s launch of China’s next step in a carefully planned lunar exploration program. Placed on top of a powerful Long March 5 rocket, the Chang’e 6 ...2 days ago
- National returned $200,000 donation day after Newsroom storyNational returned a massive donation the day after a Newsroom story linked the donors to a property being investigated for operating unlawfully as a migrant workers’ hostel. The party’s 2023 donation filings, released on Friday, show it returned a $200,000 donation from Buen Holdings on August 23. That was the ...2 days ago
- NZ slumps to 19th as RSF says press freedom threatened by global declinePacific Media Watch New Zealand has slumped to an unprecedented 19th place in the annual Reporters Without Borders World Press Freedom Index survey released today on World Press Freedom Day — May 3. This was a drop of six places from 13th last year when it slipped out of its ...2 days ago
- Access to documents about Australia’s political history is fraught and inadequate. It needs to cha...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Joshua Black, Political Historian and Administrator Officer, Australian Historical Association, Australian National University Australia has had its fair share of public record-keeping controversies in recent years. Some have been mere farce, as in the case of two formerly government-owned filing cabinets (containing ...2 days ago
- Greens have 'historically bad' start to the year – political scientistThe party has had faced a challenging set of circumstances over the past five months, Lara Greaves says. ...2 days ago
- HWPL Calls For Peace Amid Rising Tensions Between Israel And Iran
Heavenly Culture, World Peace, Restoration of Light (HWPL), a United Nations-affiliated organization dedicated to fostering peace through civilian-led initiatives, has issued a statement in response to the escalating conflict between Israel and Iran. ...2 days ago - The Friday Poem: ‘Mātou’ by Tessa KeenanA poem by Tessa Keenan, from AUP New Poets 10. Mātou These days we are a photograph; one of a farm strewn with cows that used to be bright harakeke or swamp. The kids point at it and say the sun sits behind a smudge (left by someone at Christmas); ...2 days ago
- The Unity Books bestseller chart for the week ending May 3The only published and available best-selling indie book chart in New Zealand is the top 10 sales list recorded every week at Unity Books’ stores in High St, Auckland, and Willis St, Wellington. AUCKLAND 1 Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan (Faber & Faber, $25) The masterful Irish writer ...2 days ago
- Marriages, Civil Unions, And Divorces: Year Ended Dec 2023Marriage and civil union statistics record the number of marriages and civil unions registered in New Zealand each year, and divorce statistics record the number of divorces granted in New Zealand each year. Key facts Marriages and civil unions In ...2 days ago
- Marriages, Civil Unions, And Divorces: Year Ended December 2023Marriage and civil union statistics record the number of marriages and civil unions registered in New Zealand each year, and divorce statistics record the number of divorces granted in New Zealand each year. ...2 days ago
- How effective are domestic violence advertising campaigns for preventing violence against women?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By David Waller, Associate Professor, University of Technology Sydney shutterstock Cristina RasoBoluda/Shutterstock Domestic violence is a significant personal, community and social issue attracting much attention. After several recent horrific cases, media discussion, calls for a royal commission to end the violence and ...2 days ago
- Taiwan is experiencing millions of cyberattacks every day. The world should be paying attentionSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Lennon Y.C. Chang, Associate Professor of Cyber Risk and Policy, Deakin University Taiwan stands out as a beacon of democracy, innovation and resilience in an increasingly autocratic region. But this is under growing threat. In recent years, China has used a variety ...2 days ago
- ‘There was life in the old girl yet’: Dame Susan Devoy on taking reality TV by stormIn this excerpt from her new memoir, Dame Susan Devoy remembers her turn as star contestant on the 2022 season of Celebrity Treasure Island. The most anxious time of every day was pre-elimination, when you knew this could be your final day on the show. I felt such contradictory emotions, ...2 days ago
- Auditor-General criticises way University of Waikato contracted Steven JoyceJohn Ryan says the University of Waikato did not invite multiple contractors and reached out to the former finance minister directly. ...2 days ago
- 'Not my first legal rodeo' – Winston Peters on defamation threatForeign Affairs Minister Winston Peters says he will not be cowed by threats of legal action, having received a legal letter from Bob Carr. ...2 days ago
- Can the Green Party’s holy mission survive its fallible disciples?A week that began in triumph ended in an all-too-familiar disaster for the Green Party. Duncan Greive asks if there’s something in the mission that breaks its best and brightest. A long, strange week for the Green party began with a fantastic poll result. On one level this is hardly ...2 days ago
- Vanuatu’s Kalsakau resigns, calls for delay on constitutional referendumBy Lydia Lewis, RNZ Pacific journalist Vanuatu’s former prime minister and opposition MP Ishmael Kalsakau has stepped down — just two days after he confirmed he was the rightful opposition leader. Kalsakau, MP for Port Vila, confirmed to ABC’s Pacific Beat, and the Vanuatu Daily Post on Thursday that he ...2 days ago
- Winston Peters gives China speech amid legal drama and AUKUS questionsThe Foreign Minister spoke about the NZ-China relationship amid lingering questions about the AUKUS security alliance . ...2 days ago
- Gone By Lunchtime: Mojo machine misfires, honeymoon cancelledWhat’s to blame for the coalition’s choppy start? Six months in, and the mojo meter is in the doldrums. A new poll would put National out of power and sees its leader, Chris Luxon, sliding in popularity. How much is it about policy, how much coalition management and a perception ...2 days ago
- The Waitangi Tribunal’s latest report is about far more than just child protectionThe striking report goes far beyond the proposed repeal of the Oranga Tamariki Act’s Treaty of Waitangi provision, and its impact should be felt far beyond the unique circumstances of the claim it addresses. Earlier this week, the Waitangi Tribunal released an interim report on the government’s proposed repeal of ...2 days ago
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Almost satire.
Links please?
Of course, you'll be pleased to know Wanaka has a golf links. https://wanakagolf.co.nz
You forgot that they're all cabon pure because they offset!!
🔥
Ohh.. Wānaka, I thought you were talking about Wānkers.
Very funny, congrats.
Best of all, the town's name has no English equivalent.
Classic!
But careful, or Mr Philistine will invent one, and rule that we have to use it.
It was …. renamed twice. The first surveyors called the settlement they laid out Wanaka after the lake. The ' english first' people back in Dunedin in 1863 werent having that so crossed it out and put Pembroke ( some british cabinet ministers family title…arrrgh).
It remained as Pembroke until 1940 when it was renamed back again.
Wanaka will be NZ's biggest inland City. Land speculation is how Wanaka is growing no downturn 'no real industry other than tourism.
It's not so much speculation that drives Wānaka's economy, rather cash burn by people who think they are speculating. All going to come to a sad and messy end for some people with the inevitable recession the current Government is bringing on. Exactly the same over the hill in Whakatipu.
<
p style=”text-align:justify”>Wānaka's future is certainly as a sort of city, but a rather odd one with lots of high end suburbs, but nowhere for the workers to live, and lots of competing commercial areas, but no real centre. Almost the exact opposite of the Wānaka Advantage describes
A long way to go before it reaches city status….QLDC growth projections have it less than halfway there in 2048.
Wanaka’s wastewater is so pure it is recycled without any treatment – it contains no COVID-19 RNA or drug residues, which makes it so rare and special; it is bottled and sold in overseas markets as is under the brand Wanaka’s Wellspring Water and comes in two versions: 100% Pure & Natural and Pākehā Probiotics.
All Wanaka women over the age of 21 will have exactly 2.1 children without undue political interference or other meddling from the outside world. They do not have sex and only use IVF.
The only YouTube channel watched in Wanaka is Goop (duh!).
The Wanaka meritocracy does not pay tax or even utter the vulgar word; they donate to charities and certain political parties through philanthropic trust funds.
The only dentist in Wanaka has a VIP waiting room with a wine & cocktail bar that is fully staffed and with a live Foxtrot band silently playing in the background. They offer a special service for cleaning and polishing white pearls.
When Kissinger died all flags in Wanaka were flown half-mast for 100 hours.
In Wanaka, the valet service station does not use compressed air to inflate tires but helium. It only sells thoroughbred Arab fuel.
Wanaka Whisky and golden showers are a vile rumour spread by communists, as they are not connected and there is no direct line between them.
The plumber in Wanaka has a New Zealand Certificate in Manufacturing Jewellery and an MBA (Chicago – Booth).
"plumber"
The bread rolls should be rolled on the thighs of a Cuban virgin.
The Big Mac application has been delayed only in order that more info can be provided.
Tarras international airport is coming (Tarras to Paris). This will transform the Wanaka you and Incog so lovingly describe.
Yes, I'd heard mcdonalds were still all steam ahead. They won't be backing down.
While Wanaka knows it has no crime, because those who afforded their property by this means did so elsewhere, until 2000 Australia thought it solved the problem of affordable housing.
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-67723760
All I remember about being in Wanaka was the duck itch from the burrowing parasites (and no – I am not talking about the humons). Even gets into under the neoprene.
trick is to towel dry off as soon as you get out of the water (childhood holidays in Wanaka), although the kids used to get sent up to the campground sometimes to shower too. I suspect some people are more susceptible than others, but it was the kids in and out of the water and not drying out that got the itch.
🙂 Problem is that I was born in Auckland with warm seawater in my social holiday genetics. Drying off wasn’t really a thing I grew up having to do unless I went swimming in mid-winter. Even then, it was more getting out of the wind rather than drying off.
Didn’t spend any time in the South Island until I was doing a masters in Dunedin. It was bad enough getting into lake water fed from glaciers. The duck itch was kind of the last straw.
southern oceans for me, but despite that I think the getting dry straight away was def a Wanaka thing.
So Wanaka, for different reasons, is like those places where one no longer swims in the local rivers. It's nice that the river is there or the lake is there, the ambience is good when walking past, but ….
Or along the beach if it is unsafe to swim.
https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/national/505781/do-not-swim-and-high-risk-warnings-at-most-auckland-beaches
nah, the Southern lakes are all fine for swimming and the rivers too. In large part because the regulations around intensified farming are stricter higher up the catchment. It's the lowland rivers that we have failed to protect and have become unswimmable.
The duck itch in Wanaka issue, is pretty localised. The main bay at the town is shallow, warm, and lots of ducks, but it's really a seasonal thing too. Plenty of people swim there with no problem.
Exactly weka….I and others have jumped in off my Noelex 22 in the middle of the lake many times without any sign of duck itch. I did get it once swimming in the warm shallows however.
Not everyone …
https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/wanaka-police-warn-parents-about-teen-drinking-and-violent-behaviour/ULT2CD3UZ5DJDFVHMBV5PAPIFQ/
Snap! 🙂
Looks as though some families may be facing expulsion from the crime-free People's Republic of Wanaka…
https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/wanaka-police-warn-parents-about-teen-drinking-and-violent-behaviour/ULT2CD3UZ5DJDFVHMBV5PAPIFQ/
he's not holding back! Good for him re the prosecution warning. Would have been better if he'd named the age range, I'm guessing the use of the word children means teens up to age 17.
Prob under 18 – official drinking age.
[Edit – this is probably what you meant in different words, Sorry]
Kids below that age should not have access to alcohol unsupervised. I mean, no one is going to censure you for letting your 16-year-old have a sip of shandy on a hot day – supervised by parents; but allowing them to be at the holiday home, unsupervised, with parent-supplied alcohol – is quite another matter.
Wanaka has been a teen/young adult destination for (particularly) new years partying for quite some time…..if not Wanaka, it will be somewhere else.
Yeah, this isn’t a recent occurrence. Underages getting off their faces at New Year in Central has been going on for ever. Strong statements from the plods pretty much every year as well.
There will be a very large number of extra police in Central to deal with any mayhem, sometimes it’s a really cruzy gig, we don’t have the riots we had 30 years ago.
A policeman's lot is not a happy one.
Fortunately none of my lot ever asked to head down there for New Years.
The police cannot stop someone from residing in a home (their parents own) without adult supervision if they are over 13-14 – or to hold gatherings with invited guests.
They might be able to confiscate all the alcohol on the premises to prevent underage drinking,
They might create a holding cell for drunk teens by the lake, one they can escape by going into the water and then ashore – so they wake up with duck itch.
from the NZH link.
I'm guessing this is the law they used,
https://www.police.govt.nz/advice/drugs-and-alcohol/alcohol-laws-and-penalties
In Advantage's Wanaka, no one becomes inebriated.
Very frustrating for the yoofs on New Years Eve!
Not to worry , that hardliner policeman probably has been removed.
Its all very upper middle class punishment now
https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/100275766/wanaka-police-set-essays-waive-fines-for-new-year-youth-binge-drinkers
The problem with the legislation, it only allows a subsequent prosecution – and only if the supplier of the alcohol is identified (and over 18).
To end the party scene of under 18's gathering at a family home requires confiscation of all the alcohol on the premises … where there is no adult (parental) supervision of their child's drinking and or a failure to provide a declaration from the parents of the guests as to permission to be under this other parent supervision while their own teens are drinking there.
Maybe Wanaka can seek parliamentary legislation for a bylaw to keep Wanaka pure … apart from duck itch.
Back in the day resorts, beaches and some camps would have activities – races on the beach, films in evenings etc.
Today maybe a youth venue (big screen music videos, DJ's and dancing etc and licence a monopoly of unofficial supply of some well tested half strength ecstacy, some low THC level smokes and some low alcohol level punch – wine cut with water and fruit juice – more so as the night goes on).
If capitalist appropriation of socially produced wealth is considered criminal, then there are obviously career crims aplenty in White Wanaka.
I still am not certain what the point is here but it looks very much like one of Martyn Bradbury's rants on The Daily Blog
Lift your game and you too might be worthy of the Wanaka lifestyle experience.
https://www.1news.co.nz/2023/12/30/john-campbell-are-we-on-the-cusp-of-something-new-or-something-old/
Our former PM says
https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/politics/sir-john-key-talks-to-paula-bennett-about-politics-ambition-and-raising-kids-ask-me-anything/OY4J5KLGLJFYRLOKRVY7WDZZEQ/
Doing things, results in living the dream in Wanaka.
PS Limited amount of places, rationed by the amount of ambition one has.
Luxon has ambitions …like a $6 mill Waiheke beach house
It's classic Ad in paid leave mode. With his feet up, he'll have found some new thing to annoy him about the place he calls home (pardon me, holiday home), and WILL LET THE INTERNET KNOW ABOUT IT.
it's satire from someone who loves the place but also recognises its shortcomings. Poking the borax.
(It’s also good writing, not ranting)
Owning an acre means you made it?
Sorry, but that just won't cut it. To be at the top in Wanaka, you need your own helicopter, complete with pad in the back yard and and pilot available 24/7.