Caption competition

Written By: - Date published: 11:29 am, May 16th, 2013 - 52 comments
Categories: bill english, budget 2013, caption contest - Tags:

168862252HH007_2013_New_Zea

52 comments on “Caption competition”

  1. Professor Longhair 1

    Mmmmmmm, Miss September….

  2. Three million extra for Wanganui Collegiate, $5 million less for research into Kauri dieback, cuts to decile one school budgets, boy I love being Minister of Finance …

  3. yeshe 3

    Wow ! I didn’t know Crosby and Textor had added that in there for themselves !

  4. Anne 4

    Oooh look, they put in a few token buns and sausages for decile one schools. That should keep em quiet. We can always remove em after the election citing project failure…

  5. tracey 5

    Who put something in here for the poor?

  6. r0b 6

    This space for sale.

    • Tim 6.1

      …. or, like those old IBM manuals:
      “this page intentionally left blank”
      befitting the ‘we have no idea’ theme

  7. Te Reo Putake 7

    So that’s where Dipton is!

  8. mac1 8

    Bill English reads Charles Dickens.

    “Child as he was, he was desperate with hunger, and reckless with misery. He rose from the table; and advancing to the master, basin and spoon in hand, said: somewhat alarmed at his own temerity:

    ‘Please, sir, I want some more.’ “

  9. fender 9

    And if this shit fails again I’ll just increase the petrol tax some more, I’m a genius even if the eyebrow surgery make me look otherwise.

  10. emergency mike 10

  11. Rich the other 11

    WOW,
    Helen, and she’s in blue.

  12. Macro 12

    170,000 new jobs!! Wow!

    • McFlock 12.1

      170,000 new jobs? You really think they’ll believe it THIS time?! ROTFLMAO!

  13. ghostrider888 13

    “The blue bus, is callin’ us
    The blue bus is callin’ us
    Driver where you takin’ us

    Lost in a Roman…wilderness of pain
    Waiting for the summer rain, yeah

    In a… desperate land

    C’mon baby, take a chance with us.”

  14. fender 14

    Halfway through the book catch-up renders the page unreadable and finally brings some happiness.

    Blank page confirms brighter future.

  15. fender 15

    Dumbass Bill fails to notice Shane Jones in background.

    Perfect binding for imperfect pulp.

  16. emergency mike 16

    “Well done boys, it looks awesome. So someone’s going to put words and numbers and stuff on the pages later right?”

  17. ak 17

    MIXED REACTION TO “GILMORE BUDGET”

  18. karol 18

    Once upon a time, there was a paradise in the South Pacific, wisely and fairly ruled by emperor John, with his right hand man, Bill of the Skewed Books….

  19. Sanctuary 19

    Bill English delights in reading fairy tales.

  20. scotty 20

    Parliament security busts English taking dump in rubbish bin.

  21. David H 21

    Wow the printers here do good work. Pity they are all out of work next year, gotta make that surplus.

  22. Winston Smith 22

    *Insert random line from 50 shades of grey*

    Now get that thought out of your minds… 🙂

  23. Rat 23

    “Wow..this sure beats the fuck out of reading The Truth”

  24. Xtasy 24

    English: “Gee, I really made it, it is all there in print, like in Hans Christian Andersen land, I am a competent fairy tale writer (and speaker)!”

    Next come also tales like “Hansel and Gretel” and the rest of it, and we will all be fine off, living off the bread dropping down our chimneys at night, same as Father Christmas delivers his filled socks and stockings of endless goodies!

    Ahem, “goodies” for the “deserving” that is! Not dole bludging hangers on we hate.

  25. Richard Down South 25

    Reading this just turned my hair 2 more shades of grey

  26. ak 26

    KEY RESIGNS

    [lprent: I wish.. in fact, lets put the size from xtasy’s capitals here and inflate it. Funny capitals I can live with… ]

  27. joe90 27

    Are you all seated comforta-bold
    Two-square on your botty?
    Then I’ll begin…

    Stanley Unwin – Happiness Stan

  28. kiwicommie 28

    There I squashed those little poor buggers.

  29. georgecom 29

    Phew, there are pictures in this book!!!!!!

  30. georgecom 30

    Rotfl, who wrote this crock?

  31. karol 31

    And this one is ripe for a caption contest.

    From this Herald article on the opposition slamming the government’s housing policy.

    • fender 31.1

      Looks like he forgot to put his false teeth in. If he finds them they’ll need knocking out for putting 3000 state tenants on the streets.

  32. ‘b’ stands for blue..

    ..and ‘b’ stands for bullshit..

    phillip ure..

  33. “..ooh look..!..my mighty river shares have gone up..!..”

    phillip ure..

  34. Colonial Viper 34

    I don’t know who that is under the table, but she’s really good!

  35. “..great..!..a new jughead comic..!”

    phillip ure..

  36. “..this piece of crap should be filed under ‘fantasy’..”

    phillip ure..

  37. “..not worth the paper it is printed on..”

    phillip ure..

  38. “..look..!..this is where i give them the ‘surplus-bullshit..

    ..they are too dumb to know that our current account deficit is the worst in the oecd..

    ..so that any claims of ‘surplus’..really is just an accounting trick..and really is ‘bullshit’..”

    phillip ure..

  39. “..poverty..schmoverty..eh..?..

    ..what poverty..?..”

    phillip ure..

  40. “..and then the wicked/evil finance minister snatched the food away from the waiting hungry children..

    ..and he laughed..oh..!..how he laughed..”

    ..phillip ure..

  41. Descendant Of Sssmith 41

    How much of the wealth of this nation do we want to take for our mates?
    How much of the state assets do we want to steal?

    Read it and weep peeps.

    Oh shit someone accidentally put an “o” in the last word on our nice blue wall poster?

    http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=f0XUxr073Xg&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Df0XUxr073Xg

  42. nivlac 42

    Tee hee hee… “Brighter Future?!?” … still makes me laugh …

  43. Paul Campbell 43

    Wait … it says here that we’re going to be buying beer every week for the govt typesetters smoko ….

  44. CeeH 44

    What! Want some more!

  45. irascible 45

    “Hekia, please help me out. What are these words: S-o-c-i-a-l r-e-s-p-o-n-s-i-b-i-l-t-y? and what about this other word: “h-o-n-e-s-t-y”… You do’nt know either? It must mean we failed to achieve national standards?”

    “No, Bill, those words don’t appear in our manifesto or belief system. So you don’t need to know their meaning.”

  46. Haven’t they put some interesting pictures and graphs in here ?!

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