web analytics

Caption Competition

Written By: - Date published: 3:19 pm, November 3rd, 2009 - 36 comments
Categories: humour - Tags:

NZH

36 comments on “Caption Competition ”

  1. Lew 1

    “Despite difficulty perceiving colour due to the effects of his mirrorshades, Bishop Tamaki (as he now styled himself) had never believed Morpheus’ insistence that he had actually taken the blue pill.”

    L

  2. trademark 2

    Why is that pleb over there not bowing in respect? SECURITY!

  3. felix 3

    ♫ “turn around, shite eyes…” ♪

  4. vidiot 4

    Hey Jim (Jones), what’s your secret ingredient in this Cool-Aid ?

  5. Craig Glen Eden 5

    Hey cuz I have done nothing wrong, people just give me money when the missus arks them man. Jesus Jesus who hell is Jesus Im the bishop bro.

  6. kaplan 7

    Captain Geordi La Forge: “I understand. And I might be doing the same thing if I were in your position, but I’ve got my own crew to protect, not to mention fifteen years of history.”

  7. Tigger 8

    Paula Bennett was amazed at how effectively she could dodge the press – just a pair of sunglasses and a slicked back do and no one gave her a second glance.

  8. “This heaven ain’t big enough for both of us”

  9. “Slowly, his hair began to melt……”

  10. kaplan 11

    5000 more conscripts and I’ll have me an electorate…

  11. tc 12

    Cult, religion, club, society…..whatever just keep that cash rolling in suckers, those harleys don’t pay for themselves you know.

  12. Trader Jack 13

    And so it is written that the Lord said to his faithful flock “I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God” … ah…ahem. Who is responsible for placing this filth before my Divine Eyes?
    Bring me my Bishop Brian’s Amended Testament and we’ll start that again.

  13. DeeDub 14

    ” I told those Gucci heathens that I wanted the mirrors on the INSIDE! Dammit!!! “

  14. No funny quote from me, because there is nothing funny about that piece of human trash.

    Taking money off of poor people who cant afford it, using religion.

    The guy on TVNZ got it right a couple of nights ago, when he mentioned all those fake body guards with those fake air pieces are to give the illusion that he is important, its just sad that some people buy into it.

    Don’t believe its a cult, because cult leaders are out of their minds, this guy knows what he is doing.

    • Draco T Bastard 15.1

      Being a cult doesn’t have anything to do with the leaders mental state. Hell, most of the more “successful” people in the world are psychopaths and Brian Tamaki is just another one.

    • Armchair Critic 15.2

      A rich bloke in a position of power, using that position to transfer wealth from the poor to the rich, based on an outmoded ideology – not funny, and an apt description of more than just BT.

  15. Shona 16

    Stone the crows! never thought I’d see the day etc etc… I agree with every word you said Brett. cheers!

  16. Ms X 17

    I am confused then – I thought he was nuts – meglomaniacal etc. Then today someone told me his previous business went belly up so he started a church.

    Where’s the humility – and good works?

  17. And sporting this seasons shadys we have one of the famed Tamaki Bros.
    Cool.

  18. Steve 19

    Bishop to Pawn, “Where’s my Cheque Mate?”
    (Stolen I know but worth repeating)

  19. Ianmac 20

    “I’ll be back!”

  20. Shona:

    It was bound to happen one day.

  21. Steve 22

    “Shocking, you beauty, we just made 10-1”

  22. prism 23

    Bishop Brian could be thinking – ‘I am the holy one, do not gaze upon mine eyes, but I will reflect your soul to you and give you my blessing’ or not.

    I believe that there is behind much of the USA religious revival a movement that embraces wealth, called the prosperity church. If you are righteous and obedient, Jesus loves you and good things will flow to you. The USA has managed to turn a buck on religion which is a good tax avoidance scheme for megalomaniacs, and there is just about a religious franchise, sort of Golden Arches with a difference flavour.
    This is unsubstantiated, I don’t have any handy references, just stuff I have picked up and I may have the wrong slant on some of it.

    • Pascal's bookie 23.1

      Nah, that’s pretty much it prism.

      Also, if you are interested, take a google around the words/phrases/names, “christian reconstructionism” “dominion theology” “rushdoony” and “The Chalcedon Foundation “

  23. Eclipse 24

    “Take the blue pill, and you’ll wake up in your bed believing whatever I want you to believe. Take the red pill, and I’ll show you just how far your donations will go.”

  24. Mirrored both sides so can worship his own image?

  25. prism 26

    “I’m too sexy for my shades, too sexy for my shades”!

    Interesting PB I will go and look at those sites.

  26. Who are you calling a cult?

  27. DS 28

    “It is easier for Brian Tamaki’s ego to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”

  28. Bboy 29

    “The Pope, Henry VIII and John Smith got away with it- Whats the big deal?”

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Tokelau Language Week reminds us to stay united and strong
    Staying strong in the face of challenges and being true to our heritage and languages are key to preserving our cultural identity and wellbeing, is the focus of the 2020 Tokelau Language Week. Minister for Pacific Peoples, Aupito William Sio, says this year’s theme, ‘Apoapo tau foe, i nā tāfea ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • NZ announces a third P-3 deployment in support of UN sanctions
    The Government has deployed a Royal New Zealand Air Force P-3K2 Orion (P-3) maritime patrol aircraft to support the implementation of United Nations Security Council (UNSC) resolutions imposing sanctions against North Korea, announced Minister of Foreign Affairs Winston Peters and Minister of Defence Ron Mark. “New Zealand has long supported ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Pacific trade and development agreement a reality
    Pacific regional trade and development agreement PACER Plus will enter into force in 60 days now that the required eight countries have ratified it. Trade and Export Growth Minister David Parker welcomed the announcement that the Cook Islands is the eighth nation to ratify this landmark agreement. “The agreement represents ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Securing a pipeline of teachers
    The Government is changing its approach to teacher recruitment as COVID-19 travel restrictions continue, by boosting a range of initiatives to get more Kiwis into teaching. “When we came into Government, we were faced with a teacher supply crisis,” Education Minister Chris Hipkins said. “Over the past three years, we ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Border exceptions for a small number of international students with visas
    The Government has established a new category that will allow 250 international PhD and postgraduate students to enter New Zealand and continue their studies, in the latest set of border exceptions. “The health, safety and wellbeing of people in New Zealand remains the Government’s top priority. Tight border restrictions remain ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • First COVID-19 vaccine purchase agreement signed
    The Government has signed an agreement to purchase 1.5 million COVID-19 vaccines – enough for 750,000 people – from Pfizer and BioNTech, subject to the vaccine successfully completing all clinical trials and passing regulatory approvals in New Zealand, say Research, Science and Innovation Minister Megan Woods and Health Minister Chris Hipkins. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • International statement – End-to-end encryption and public safety
    We, the undersigned, support strong encryption, which plays a crucial role in protecting personal data, privacy, intellectual property, trade secrets and cyber security.  It also serves a vital purpose in repressive states to protect journalists, human rights defenders and other vulnerable people, as stated in the 2017 resolution of the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Ministry of Defence Biodefence Assessment released
    The Ministry of Defence has today released a Defence Assessment examining Defence’s role across the spectrum of biological hazards and threats facing New Zealand. Biodefence: Preparing for a New Era of Biological Hazards and Threats looks at how the NZDF supports other agencies’ biodefence activities, and considers the context of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New Approaches to Economic Challenges: Confronting Planetary Emergencies: OECD 9 October 2020
    New Approaches to Economic Challenges: Confronting Planetary Emergencies: OECD 9 October 2020 Hon David Parker’s response following Thomas Piketty and Esther Duflo. Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, wherever in the world you might be. I first acknowledge the excellent thought provoking speeches of Thomas Piketty and Esther ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Kaipara Moana restoration takes next step
    A Memorandum of Understanding has been signed today at Waihāua Marae between the Crown, local iwi and councils to protect, restore and enhance the mauri of Kaipara Moana in Northland. Environment Minister David Parker signed the document on behalf of the Crown along with representatives from Ngā Maunga Whakahī, Ngāti ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • New Zealand and Uruguay unite on reducing livestock production emissions
    Agriculture Minister Damien O’Connor and Uruguayan Minister of Livestock, Agriculture and Fisheries Carlos María Uriarte have welcomed the launch of a three-year project that will underpin sustainable livestock production in Uruguay, Argentina, and Costa Rica.  The project called ‘Innovation for pasture management’ is led by Uruguay’s National Institute of Agricultural ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • 3100 jobs created through marae upgrades
    Hundreds of marae throughout the country will be upgraded through investments from the Provincial Growth Fund’s refocused post COVID-19 funding to create jobs and put money into the pockets of local tradespeople and businesses, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones and Māori Development Minister Nanaia Mahuta have announced. “A total ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Health volunteers recognised in annual awards
    Health Minister Chris Hipkins has announced 9 teams and 14 individuals are the recipients of this year’s Minister of Health Volunteer Awards.  “The health volunteer awards celebrate and recognise the thousands of dedicated health sector volunteers who give many hours of their time to help other New Zealanders,” Mr Hipkins ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Community COVID-19 Fund supports Pacific recovery
    The Minister for Pacific Peoples, Aupito William Sio says a total of 264 groups and individuals have successfully applied for the Pacific Aotearoa Community COVID-19 Recovery Fund, that will support Pacific communities drive their own COVID-19 recovery strategies, initiatives, and actions. “I am keen to see this Fund support Pacific ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Community benefits from Māori apprenticeships
    Up to 50 Māori apprentices in Wellington will receive paid training to build houses for their local communities, thanks to a $2.75 million investment from the Māori Trades and Training Fund, announced Employment Minister Willie Jackson today. “This funding will enable Ngāti Toa Rangatira Incorporated to provide its Ngā Kaimahi ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Training fund supports Māori jobseekers
    Rapidly growing sectors will benefit from a $990,000 Māori Trades and Training Fund investment which will see Wellington jobseekers supported into work, announced Employment Minister Willie Jackson today. “This funding will enable Sapphire Consultants Ltd. to help up to 45 Māori jobseekers into paid training initiatives over two years through ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago