Caption contest
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1:55 pm, April 18th, 2011 - 29 comments
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29 comments on “Caption contest ”
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- Raising awareness of child exploitation
Customs Minister Casey Costello has praised the work of Customs’ Child Exploitation Operations Team (CEOT) for their commitment to combat the sexual exploitation and abuse of children. This specialist team in Customs features in an hour-long documentary, Unmasking the Monsters, which airs tonight on TVNZ 1. “It’s important that Customs has taken this ...3 hours ago - Prime Minister’s scholarships awarded
New Zealand is strengthening its global connections with Asia and Latin America, as 119 individual recipients have been awarded Prime Minister’s Scholarships for education experiences abroad, Tertiary Education and Skills Minister Penny Simmonds says. “Expanding New Zealand’s global engagement through world-class international education is a key government priority,” Ms Simmonds ...4 hours ago
- Climate Minister to see Antarctica research first-hand
Climate Change Minister Simon Watts is travelling to Antarctica on Monday to see the impacts of climate change first-hand and see New Zealand’s scientific work on the ice. “Antarctica is under increasing pressure from climate change, with rapid changes to the Antarctic ice sheet, ice shelves, sea ice, and biodiversity now ...9 hours ago
- Joint Statement: Singapore-New Zealand Article 6 Negotiations reach consensus
Countries have reached a deal on carbon markets at the annual United Nations climate change meeting (COP29) in Baku, Azerbaijan. Co-chaired by Singapore’s Minister for Sustainability and the Environment Grace Fu and New Zealand’s Minister of Climate Change Simon Watts, the negotiations on Article 6 (carbon markets) concluded successfully with ...10 hours ago
- Child Protection Investigation Unit established
A new Child Protection Investigation Unit is being established to ensure the safety and wellbeing of children in care, Minister for Children Karen Chhour says. “The report released by the Royal Commission into abuse in state care shows us all the risk of not acting immediately when there are serious ...3 days ago
- Speech at United States Business Summit 2024
Ka nui te mihi kia koutou. Ka mihi ki te mana whenua ko Ngāti Whātua Ōrākei. Kia ora and good morning everyone. Thank you Fran and Simon for inviting me here today, and importantly your leadership of this forum over several years now. I want to acknowledge David Gehrenbeck, Deputy ...3 days ago
- Record number of submissions received on granny flat proposal
Nearly 2,000 submissions have been received on the Government’s proposals aimed at making it easier to build a granny flat of up to 60 square metres without a resource or building consent, RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop and Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk say. “This is the highest number ...3 days ago
- District Court Judge appointed
Attorney-General Judith Collins today announced the appointment of Rebecca Guthrie as a District Court Judge. Judge Guthrie was admitted to the bar in 1997 following her graduation from the University of Canterbury in 1996 (LLB, BA). She commenced her legal career in Hastings in 1997 before moving to London in ...3 days ago
- Appointments strengthen Predator Free 2050
The latest Predator Free 2050 Board appointments will help to strengthen biodiversity efforts across Aotearoa New Zealand, Conservation Minister Tama Potaka says. Mr Potaka today announced two appointments to the Board of Directors of Predator Free 2050 Limited, a key player in the wider Predator Free 2050 Programme. “The Predator ...3 days ago
- New facility in Christchurch will improve the lives of young New Zealanders
Mental Health Minister Matt Doocey today opened Kahurangi, an innovative and much-needed facility for Canterbury’s Child, Adolescent, and Family Mental Health Services. “The new state of the art outpatient facility opened today will be a gamechanger for the way mental health is delivered for young people in Canterbury,” says Mr ...3 days ago
- Driver safety screens to be installed on Auckland buses
Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed news from the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) that bus driver protection screens will be installed across Auckland’s bus fleet by 2026.“The Government is committed to improving the safety of working environments for bus drivers, and Budget 2024 allocated $15 million of Crown funding over ...3 days ago
- Government action provides Southland farmers more time to meet plan requirements
The Government is taking action to ensure Southland farmers and growers are not affected by unreasonable regional farm plan deadlines, Agriculture Minister Todd McClay, Environment Minister Penny Simmonds and Associate Environment Minister Andrew Hoggard say.“Cabinet has agreed to provide more time for farmers and growers to comply with regional rules ...4 days ago
- Bill reaffirms Government’s commitment to crack down on serious youth offending
The Oranga Tamariki (Responding to Serious Youth Offending) Bill had its first reading at Parliament today. The Bill reaffirms the Government’s commitment to crack down on serious youth offending, Minister for Children Karen Chhour says. “In recent years we have seen an unacceptable spike in youth offending. “This Bill makes ...4 days ago
- Critical milestones for earthquake buildings review
Fairer, more sensible rules about managing earthquake risks are a step closer with the passing of legislation and the appointment of an independent chair to provide expert advice, Minister for Building and Construction Chris Penk says. “The Government is committed to reinvigorating our cities and regions to support economic growth, ...4 days ago
- State of the art radiology machine for Auckland
People in Northland and Auckland will benefit from a new machine for cancer treatment installed at the Regional Cancer and Blood Service at Auckland City Hospital. The MV5 linear accelerator, or LINAC machine, officially opened today targets cancer tumours with pinpoint accuracy. Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says this new, ...4 days ago
- Foreign Minister to visit Europe
Deputy Prime Minister and Foreign Minister Winston Peters will travel to Europe for high-level talks with France, Germany and the United Kingdom next week. "Since taking office almost a year ago, the Coalition Government has emphasised the importance we place on New Zealand's traditional and likeminded diplomatic and ...4 days ago
- First arrests made under gang patch ban
Police have made their first arrests under the new gang patch legislation, with two gang members arrested, says Police Minister Mark Mitchell. “Just before 11 this morning, Police in Wairoa apprehended a gang member for wearing a patch to the supermarket. He has been arrested and will now face enforcement ...4 days ago
- Better support for victims of sexual violence
The Government is proposing two major changes to name suppression laws that will put the views of victims of sexual violence first, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. “We are committed to restoring law and order and these two proposed changes will help ensure the victims of crime are put at ...4 days ago
- Government moving forward with Regional Deals
Cabinet has agreed to invite all regions to submit proposals for Regional Deals between central and local government that drive economic growth and deliver the infrastructure our country needs, Local Government Minister Simeon Brown and Infrastructure Minister Chris Bishop say. Inviting all regions to propose a Regional Deal that boosts ...4 days ago
- MSA pilot participant update
One of the ten young men selected to participate in the Military-Style Academy Pilot has allegedly reoffended. Children’s Minister Karen Chhour is disappointed but says it would be naïve to think that none of these young men would reoffend. “I’m saddened that this young person has not taken this opportunity ...4 days ago
- Fighting for Kiwis in Trade
Delivered at Auckland Trade and Economic Policy School Good morning and thank you Deputy Vice Chancellor Lithander for your warm welcome and for inviting me to open Auckland Trade and Economic Policy School today. A Special thanks to the University of Auckland, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade and ...4 days ago
- Attendance rates increase, again
Associate Education Minister David Seymour says that school attendance is continuing to rise. In Term 3 of 2024 51.3 per cent of students attended school regularly, an increase of 5.3 percentage points from 46 per cent in Term 3 of 2023. “This Government has prioritised student attendance and it is ...4 days ago
- Improving the lives of young New Zealanders
Ensuring New Zealand is the best place in the world for children and young people is the vision at the heart of the Government’s new Child and Youth Strategy, Child Poverty Reduction Minister Louise Upston says. “Childhood represents a huge opportunity to set people on a positive path towards living ...4 days ago
- Government continues work to reinstate livestock exports by sea
The Government is reinstating the trade of livestock exports by sea while ensuring the highest standards of animal welfare, says Associate Minister of Agriculture Andrew Hoggard.“The Government will introduce legislation changes to reinstate the trade, enhance oversight, and strengthen requirements for exporters to identify risks and manage the welfare of ...5 days ago
- Speech to the National Quality Forum 2024
Tēnā koutou katoa – it is a pleasure to be here today. I would like to begin by acknowledging the important leadership role you all play in ensuring a quality health system New Zealanders can trust. There is enormous clinical expertise in this room covering a wide range of disciplines. ...5 days ago
- New Zealand’s COP29 National Statement
Tēnā koutou katoa. Mr President, Excellencies, Delegates. New Zealand, and all nations represented here today, are already dealing with the impacts of climate change. Our households, businesses, and economies are bearing the costs of its effects. The choices we make now will shape the severity of these impacts for generations ...5 days ago
- Latest Quarterly Investment Report released
The Government has released its second Quarterly Investment Report (QIR) which shows substantial work still to be done by agencies to improve investment reporting and meet the Government’s expectations, Infrastructure and Acting Finance Minister Chris Bishop says. “New Zealand has significant infrastructure and investment needs. The Government is determined to get ...5 days ago
- New Zealand supporting loss and damage fund
Climate Change Minister Simon Watts announced New Zealand will contribute NZ$10 million to the new Fund for Responding to Loss and Damage while at the annual United Nations Climate Change Conference (COP29) in Baku, Azerbaijan. “New Zealand is joining the global effort to address the significant challenge of responding to ...5 days ago
- Gang crackdown begins at stroke of midnight
The free ride for gangs is over when the clock strikes midnight tonight, with tough new laws officially coming into effect, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith and Police Minister Mark Mitchell say. “Gang patches will no longer be able to be worn in public. To earn the right to wear a ...5 days ago
- LGFA increases borrowing capacity to support high growth councils
The Government is welcoming the decision by the Local Government Funding Agency to increase access to financing tools for fast growing councils to support greater investment in critical infrastructure, Local Government Minister Simeon Brown says.“Communities across the country are facing an infrastructure deficit and significant population growth is projected in ...6 days ago
- Temporary Traffic Management costs revealed
The Government has revealed that over the past three years, the New Zealand Transport Agency (NZTA) has spent an eyewatering $786 million of taxpayers’ money on road cones and temporary traffic management (TTM), Transport Minister Simeon Brown says.“When I became Minister, I was surprised to learn that that NZTA did ...6 days ago
- Jurisdiction of Disputes Tribunal to double
Legislation that will double the financial jurisdiction of the Disputes Tribunal from $30,000 to $60,000 has passed first reading in Parliament today, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith. “We need to improve court timeliness and access to justice so that Kiwis and get on with their lives. Court delays affect everyone, the ...6 days ago
- Protecting New Zealand from foreign interference
Legislation that will specifically criminalise foreign interference and strengthen espionage offences has passed first reading in Parliament today, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. “It is normal and appropriate for states to interact and work to influence one another. This encourages cooperation and can have mutually beneficial outcomes. “However, the reality ...6 days ago
- Significant milestone for Canterbury Road of National Significance
Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed news that the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) Board has approved funding towards pre-implementation and early works on the State Highway 1 (SH1) Belfast to Pegasus Motorway and Woodend Bypass Road of National Significance (RoNS). “Reaching this significant milestone is a reflection of our Government’s ...6 days ago
- Health survey results to help drive change
Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says findings from the annual Health Survey highlight the need to continue driving better health outcomes for New Zealanders. The New Zealand Health Survey is an annual snapshot of key metrics measured from July 2023 – July 2024. Findings released this morning include: In 2023/24, ...6 days ago
- Final push needed to get to Smokefree 2025
A renewed effort to get people to quit smoking will build on what has worked to date and target the groups who most need support, Associate Health Minister Casey Costello said today. “The latest New Zealand Health Survey results show the daily smoking rate at 6.9 per cent and we ...6 days ago
- New diplomatic appointments
Foreign Affairs Minister Winston Peters has announced four new diplomatic appointments. “Our diplomats play an important role in ensuring New Zealand’s interests are maintained and enhanced across the world,” Mr Peters says. “It is a pleasure to announce the appointment of these senior diplomats from the Ministry of Foreign ...6 days ago
- Next steps for Regulatory Standards Bill
Regulation Minister David Seymour has today announced the next steps in the Government’s plan improve the quality of regulation by opening consultation on a proposed Regulatory Standards Bill. “New Zealand's low wages can be blamed on low productivity, and low productivity can be blamed on poor regulation,” says Mr Seymour. ...6 days ago
- Red Tape Tipline goes live
Minister for Regulation David Seymour has today announced that the Ministry for Regulation’s Red Tape Tipline is now live. “We want to hear about your red tape horror stories. From today, New Zealanders will have a say on how they are regulated through an online portal,” says Mr Seymour. The ...6 days ago
- Youth Parliament 2025 announced
The Minister for Youth Matt Doocey has today announced the eleventh Youth Parliament will be taking place in 2025. “Youth Parliament offers a unique youth development opportunity to young people from across New Zealand to experience the political process and learn about how government works,” says Mr Doocey. “The two-day ...1 week ago
- Banning under-16s from social media may be unconstitutional – and ripe for High Court challenge
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Sarah Joseph, Professor of Human Rights Law, Griffith University Shutterstock On November 21 2024, the Albanese government unveiled its bill to introduce a minimum age of 16 for most social media platforms. The government claims the bill is necessary to protect ...17 minutes ago - Climate Finance Commitments Triple At Close Of COP29 – Expert Reaction
The so-called “finance COP” in Baku, Azerbaijan has just concluded with agreement on the Baku Finance Goal. This aims to replace developed countries’ previous commitment to provide NZ$171 billion annually by 2020. ...32 minutes ago - Is TikTok right? Are there health benefits to eating sea moss?
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Margaret Murray, Senior Lecturer, Nutrition, Swinburne University of Technology Plataresca/Shutterstock Sea moss is the latest “superfood” wellness influencers are swearing by. They claim sea moss products – usually in gel form – have multiple health benefits. These include supporting brain and ...47 minutes ago
- Christopher Luxon and Police Commissioner announce new Auckland police station
Commissioner Richard Chambers says it will make responding to crime in the CBD faster and more effective. ...50 minutes ago - Cristopher Luxon and Police Commissioner announce new Auckland police station
Commissioner Richard Chambers says it will make responding to crime in the CBD faster and more effective. ...1 hour ago
- A milestone legal case from 35 years ago holds important lessons for how courts deal with scientific...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Laura Dawes, Research Fellow in Medico-Legal History, Australian National University Peter Krocka/Shutterstock This month marks 35 years of DNA evidence being used in Australian legal cases. But unlike DNA firsts in other countries, Autralia’s is perhaps the most significant legal milestone ...2 hours ago
- Character references tell a court you’re a good person. Why are convicted rapists allowed to use t...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Vicki Lowik, Adjunct Research Fellow, School of Nursing, Midwifery and Social Sciences, CQUniversity Australia The Conversation,Elīna Arāja/Pexels In a recent Newcastle trial, a jury found three men guilty on multiple charges of sexually assaulting three teenage girls over two nights. The ...4 hours ago
- Human exclamations of pain are similar across the world, new study reveals
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Maïa Ponsonnet, Researcher, Linguistics, The University of Western Australia KitohodkA/Shutterstock We all know what words we might shout out when we stub a toe or touch something hot. For those of us who speak English, it’s probably “ouch”. But what kinds ...4 hours ago
- NZ’s new cultural policy will be called Amplify. It is timely and needed, but not ambitious enough
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By James Wenley, Senior Lecturer, Te Whare Ngangahau–Theatre and Performance Studies, Te Herenga Waka — Victoria University of Wellington Anthony DELANOIX/Unsplash The arts and cultural activity of Aotearoa New Zealand enhances our global reputation, grows our economy and brings us fulfilment as ...4 hours ago
- Surgeries being rejected to game waitlist targets, Labour says
The Opposition alleges the number of people going onto waitlists is being limited, as GPs complain of referrals being rejected. ...4 hours ago
- Surgeries being rejected to game waitlist targets, Labour alleges
The Opposition says the number of people going onto waitlists is being limited, as GPs complain of referrals being rejected. ...4 hours ago
- Louisa Wall says TJ Perenara’s Treaty statement during haka was censored
The former Black Fern, Silver Fern and Labour MP she "watched with pride" at how departing All Black TJ Perena used the side's haka. ...5 hours ago
- Warm and friendly or competent and straightforward? What students want from AI chatbots in the class...
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Shahper Richter, Senior Lecturer in Digital Marketing, University of Auckland, Waipapa Taumata Rau Artificial intelligence (AI) is rapidly transforming education, with schools and universities increasingly experimenting with AI chatbots to assist students in self-directed learning. These digital assistants offer immediate feedback, ...5 hours ago
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Taxpayers’ Union Communications Officer Alex Emes called the deal “a move towards global socialism” due to the agreed upon large transfer of wealth from countries like New Zealand to the third world. ...6 hours ago
- New Zealand Ports Urged To End Live Animal Exports As Maritime Union Takes Stand
AJP Welcomes Maritime Union's Historic Stand Against Live Exports. ...6 hours ago
- Oxfam Says COP29 Deal Is A “Global Ponzi Scheme”
Oxfam Aotearoa’s Climate Justice Lead Nick Henry said: "The failure to meet the global need for climate finance is a failure of empathy from the leaders of rich countries." ...6 hours ago
- COP29 ‘Bandaid Over A Bullet Wound’, Polluters Should Expect Resistance – Greenpeace
We know how to cut emissions - we have all the technology and tools to do so. What’s needed is political will to put these tools into action. ...6 hours ago
- Here’s what was – and wasn’t – achieved at the Cop29 climate talks
At the outset, expectations were low – but even with considerable headwinds, progress was made. The petroleum-laden dust has settled on this year’s United Nations climate summit, Cop29, held over the past fortnight in Baku, Azerbaijan. Climate scientists, leaders, lobbyists and delegates are heading for home. The meeting achieved ...7 hours ago
- Principals’ anger over cutbacks to ‘jolly good’ school lunch scheme
At least two schools have opted out of the revised free lunch scheme for next year. ...7 hours ago
- Patients referred for orthopaedic surgery not even making waiting lists
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- Police Minister Mark Mitchell criticises cop posing with gang patch
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- Security breach as Christopher Luxon’s itinerary left on police car dashboard
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Edith Gray, Professor, School of Demography, Australian National University Photo by ADIEL MALKA/Pexels There is a seemingly endless stream of news headlines about plummeting birth rates. Many have alarmist narratives about the perils of “baby busts” and “population decline”. This reflects ...10 hours ago
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The Foreign Minister is headed to Europe, where he will deliver the last of seven major speeches of the past year The post Peters’ push to turn Europe’s eyes south appeared first on Newsroom. ...12 hours ago - Death of a feminist legend
In March, on the twentieth anniversary of the death of a brilliant feminist thinker from Auckland who became a superstar in US academia, Justin Okin wrote a moving tribute to his mother, Susan Moller Okin, on International Women’s Day. “She was arguably the most influential feminist political philosopher of her ...12 hours ago
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Analysis: After contentious diplomatic talks like COP29, people like to point to the platitude: A good compromise is one where no one’s happy.When we’re discussing the climate crisis and all of the human suffering that entails, however, shouldn’t we be striving for a deal that works, not just one that ...12 hours ago
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A sugar levy and removing sugary drinks from schools are among the obesity-fighting recommendations from a new report. ...12 hours ago
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Analysis - Luxon is loath to spend too much time looking backwards, and invited to share any lessons from his first year as PM, he draws something of a blank. ...12 hours ago
- Climate finance: NZ could face hefty bill as new funding target agreed at COP29
The new target will "set the expectation" that NZ contributes more to help developing nations move away from using fossil fuels. ...13 hours ago
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Zeni Gibson has been stalked and harassed for nearly nine years by a man she rejected when she was 17. This is her story. As told to Madeleine Holden. Cover Stories are longform journalism supported by Spinoff Members. Support this work here. Spinoff Cover Stories are now available in audio ...13 hours ago
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This is what being in National does to you.
“We’d like you each to buy 10 bottles of snake-oil politics to serve to the electorates for Nov 26.”
Ayo John. if i smile with my mouth closed and wave with only one hand, no one will see my nice teeth and freshly manicured hands.
It’s important that Maori aspire to having nice teeth and soft hands. Don’t you think ?…tee hee hee
captcha : aiming (high)
and that kiddies is how the vulgarians won the last election!
“I have found something funny so I am laughing”
John put his hands on my breasts like this and I said “You’ve got my vote Big Boy!”.
Captcha – feel (as in cop a …)
I became one of the jokers Hench men, and now look at me.
My elders didn’t like it, but I just laughed in their faces.
If it wasn’t for the Prozac, those protestors would be really getting on my tits.
Then Petrobras gave me a new smile. Ha ha ha!
My arse is still warm… I love my BMW.
“Now I’ve passed Cackling 101 and perfected the “Wicked Witch” pose, I’m allowed to use the broomstick Helen left behind when she went to New York”.
Just what Labour needs – a nasty little ‘obbit who hates women. Go and play on the road Widerstrom.
Yes, my little anonymous pop psychologist, you’ve got me – I hate women. All those thousands being spent round the world on analysts when people could simply post a one line satirical blog comment and you’ll give them a personality profile based on your vast knowledge of human pyschology gained… where exactly?
But what ever do you mean “just what Labour needs”? The last time I was hired to consult to them was 1996.
“… so I was picking myself up off Bellamy’s floor like this and that’s when Gerry told me I was the one who was going to handle the media about Deepwater deep water drilling! I was like, ‘what the hell if, you get Simon to do a headstand on the table I’ll do it’ – he’s game for anything after a few, but gets pissed off the next day … “
I look a bit stupid cause I didn’t read the label before sampling. What is in that stuff? I’ll take two bottles, the large bottles.
I want benefits cut by ten per cent you hear?
Read these digits possums!
Oooh, those tax cuts get in, don’t they?
Just feel how soft my hands are after the application of that most wonderful of substances, tax cuts funded by the poor.
This is how big John’s head will be if we win the election.
Woohoo! Did you hear? I’ve made it to [the] Cabinet!
No No No you filthy Poor drink from the Gutter not our nice bar, SHOO shoo.
She had just read Red Alert.
Rotten month shows in iPredict
• National forecast to govern alone – even if Act and UnitedFuture leave Parliament and NZ First reaches 5%
We don’t serve beneficiaries
I used to be on my knees like this for twelve hours a day, now I get perks.
Then I said the deficit was this big, and they believed me.
You mean I get my own very slave, wonderful!
I’ve been getting specialist skin treatment, you’d hardly know I was Maori.
When we cut, cut and cut some more, they will scream like this.
I look at my bank balance and it doesn’t matter that I’m a Kupapa!
It’s not even her you have to worry about; it’s the backers behind the killer drink…
‘I remember as a kid, we used to watch Tommy Cooper.
Ee, it wer a laugh.
He’d go, “Just like that!” I think. No his hands, were lower – but baa gum, it were a laugh… it breaks me up when I think of it, even now.’
First we send the navy and police. If that doesn’t deter the protesters, we send the SAS to break their necks.
30 thousands shares in Petrobras, or was that 100… I’m so ecstatic I can’t remember.
Wow! Thanks Johny, my new gestapo uniform looks great!
Parata, the new smiling face of fascism.
Then I had my slave lick my gestapo boots clean, wonderful!
Look! There’s no blood left on my hands.
My bank balance makes even the biggest oil spill look beautiful.
I never knew lying felt so good.
“Tim, Murray, what’ll it be? Got your ministerial credit cards with you? Good. It’s for your mini bar eh. As John says, Ministers have the right to have a drink from their mini-bar”.
“Labours polling at what ? (insert HUGE laugh) Malarious”
My three oil spill disaster recovery boats are this big.
Paula is a lot stronger than me. She can hold it a… lot …lo … longer … thannnn… me …uh… uh! Oh f#*k I dropped it. Sod it she can have the
job in the soup kitchen… that lot ‘re closer to her roots anyway…