web analytics

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 1:55 pm, April 18th, 2011 - 29 comments
Categories: caption contest - Tags:

29 comments on “Caption contest ”

  1. DJ 1

    This is what being in National does to you.

  2. Jim Nald 2

    “We’d like you each to buy 10 bottles of snake-oil politics to serve to the electorates for Nov 26.”

  3. Ayo John. if i smile with my mouth closed and wave with only one hand, no one will see my nice teeth and freshly manicured hands.

    It’s important that Maori aspire to having nice teeth and soft hands. Don’t you think ?…tee hee hee

    captcha : aiming (high)

  4. randal 4

    and that kiddies is how the vulgarians won the last election!

  5. toad 5

    And now I cast my magic spell, and the oil leak will stop!

  6. SHG 6

    “I have found something funny so I am laughing”

  7. fabregas4 7

    John put his hands on my breasts like this and I said “You’ve got my vote Big Boy!”.

    Captcha – feel (as in cop a …)

  8. todd 8

    I became one of the jokers Hench men, and now look at me.
     
    My elders didn’t like it, but I just laughed in their faces.
     
    If it wasn’t for the Prozac, those protestors would be really getting on my tits.
     
    Then Petrobras gave me a new smile. Ha ha ha!

    My arse is still warm… I love my BMW.

  9. “Now I’ve passed Cackling 101 and perfected the “Wicked Witch” pose, I’m allowed to use the broomstick Helen left behind when she went to New York”.

    • Jum 9.1

      Just what Labour needs – a nasty little ‘obbit who hates women.  Go and play on the road Widerstrom.

      • Yes, my little anonymous pop psychologist, you’ve got me – I hate women. All those thousands being spent round the world on analysts when people could simply post a one line satirical blog comment and you’ll give them a personality profile based on your vast knowledge of human pyschology gained… where exactly?

        But what ever do you mean “just what Labour needs”? The last time I was hired to consult to them was 1996.

  10. mcflock 10

    “… so I was picking myself up off Bellamy’s floor like this and that’s when Gerry told me I was the one who was going to handle the media about Deepwater deep water drilling! I was like, ‘what the hell if, you get Simon to do a headstand on the table I’ll do it’ – he’s game for anything after a few, but gets pissed off the next day … “

  11. Treetop 11

    I look a bit stupid cause I didn’t read the label before sampling.  What is in that stuff?  I’ll take two bottles, the large bottles. 

  12. M 12

    I want benefits cut by ten per cent you hear?
    Read these digits possums!

  13. M 13

    Oooh, those tax cuts get in, don’t they?
    Just feel how soft my hands are after the application of that most wonderful of substances, tax cuts funded by the poor.

  14. M 14

    This is how big John’s head will be if we win the election.

  15. Woohoo! Did you hear? I’ve made it to [the] Cabinet!

  16. Deadly_NZ 16

    No No No you filthy Poor drink from the Gutter not our nice bar, SHOO shoo.

  17. Doug 17

    She had just read Red Alert.
    Rotten month shows in iPredict
    • National forecast to govern alone – even if Act and UnitedFuture leave Parliament and NZ First reaches 5%

  18. kriswgtn 18

    We don’t serve beneficiaries

  19. todd 19

    I used to be on my knees like this for twelve hours a day, now I get perks.

    Then I said the deficit was this big, and they believed me.

    You mean I get my own very slave, wonderful!

    I’ve been getting specialist skin treatment, you’d hardly know I was Maori.

    When we cut, cut and cut some more, they will scream like this.

    I look at my bank balance and it doesn’t matter that I’m a Kupapa!

  20. Jum 20

    It’s not even her you have to worry about; it’s the backers behind the killer drink…

  21. logie97 21

    ‘I remember as a kid, we used to watch Tommy Cooper.  
    Ee, it wer a laugh.
    He’d go, “Just like that!” I think.  No his hands, were lower – but baa gum, it were a laugh… it breaks me up when I think of it, even now.’

  22. Jenny 22

    First we send the navy and police. If that doesn’t deter the protesters, we send the SAS to break their necks.

  23. todd 23

    30 thousands shares in Petrobras, or was that 100… I’m so ecstatic I can’t remember.

    Wow! Thanks Johny, my new gestapo uniform looks great!

    Parata, the new smiling face of fascism.

    Then I had my slave lick my gestapo boots clean, wonderful!

    Look! There’s no blood left on my hands.

    My bank balance makes even the biggest oil spill look beautiful.

    I never knew lying felt so good.

  24. George 24

    “Tim, Murray, what’ll it be? Got your ministerial credit cards with you? Good. It’s for your mini bar eh. As John says, Ministers have the right to have a drink from their mini-bar”.

  25. Chris 25

    “Labours polling at what ?  (insert HUGE laugh) Malarious”

  26. todd 26

    My three oil spill disaster recovery boats are this big.

  27. logie97 27

    Paula is a lot stronger than me. She can hold it a… lot …lo … longer … thannnn…  me …uh… uh! Oh f#*k I dropped it.  Sod it she can have the
    job in the soup kitchen… that lot ‘re closer to her roots anyway…

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Celebrating the Entry Into Force of the Treaty on the Prohibition of Nuclear Weapons
    [Opening comments, welcome and thank you to Auckland University etc] It is a great pleasure to be here this afternoon to celebrate such an historic occasion - the entry into force of the Treaty on the Prohibition of Nuclear Weapons. This is a moment many feared would never come, but ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    9 hours ago
  • Supporting disabled people to stay connected
    The Government is providing $3 million in one-off seed funding to help disabled people around New Zealand stay connected and access support in their communities, Minister for Disability Issues, Carmel Sepuloni announced today. The funding will allow disability service providers to develop digital and community-based solutions over the next two ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    13 hours ago
  • Voluntary saliva testing offered to quarantine workers from Monday
    Border workers in quarantine facilities will be offered voluntary daily COVID-19 saliva tests in addition to their regular weekly testing, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. This additional option will be rolled out at the Jet Park Quarantine facility in Auckland starting on Monday 25 January, and then to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    16 hours ago
  • Next steps in firearms buy-back
    The next steps in the Government’s ambitious firearms reform programme to include a three-month buy-back have been announced by Police Minister Poto Williams today.  “The last buy-back and amnesty was unprecedented for New Zealand and was successful in collecting 60,297 firearms, modifying a further 5,630 firearms, and collecting 299,837 prohibited ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    17 hours ago
  • New Public Housing Plan announced
    The Government has released its Public Housing Plan 2021-2024 which outlines the intention of where 8,000 additional public and transitional housing places announced in Budget 2020, will go. “The Government is committed to continuing its public house build programme at pace and scale. The extra 8,000 homes – 6000 public ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Prime Minister congratulates President Joe Biden on his inauguration
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has congratulated President Joe Biden on his inauguration as the 46th President of the United States of America. “I look forward to building a close relationship with President Biden and working with him on issues that matter to both our countries,” Jacinda Ardern said. “New Zealand ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Jobs for Nature funding will create training and employment opportunities
    A major investment to tackle wilding pines in Mt Richmond will create jobs and help protect the area’s unique ecosystems, Biosecurity Minister Damien O’Connor says. The Mt Richmond Forest Park has unique ecosystems developed on mineral-rich geology, including taonga plant species found nowhere else in the country. “These special plant ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Pre-departure testing extended to all passengers to New Zealand
    To further protect New Zealand from COVID-19, the Government is extending pre-departure testing to all passengers to New Zealand except from Australia, Antarctica and most Pacific Islands, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “The change will come into force for all flights arriving in New Zealand after 11:59pm (NZT) on Monday ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Bay Cadets learn skills to protect environment
    Bay Conservation Cadets launched with first intake Supported with $3.5 million grant Part of $1.245b Jobs for Nature programme to accelerate recover from Covid Cadets will learn skills to protect and enhance environment Environment Minister David Parker today welcomed the first intake of cadets at the launch of the Bay ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Cook Islanders to resume travel to New Zealand
    The Prime Minister of New Zealand Jacinda Ardern and the Prime Minister of the Cook Islands Mark Brown have announced passengers from the Cook Islands can resume quarantine-free travel into New Zealand from 21 January, enabling access to essential services such as health. “Following confirmation of the Cook Islands’ COVID ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Supporting communities and landowners to grow employment opportunities
    Jobs for Nature funding is being made available to conservation groups and landowners to employ staff and contractors in a move aimed at boosting local biodiversity-focused projects, Conservation Minister Kiritapu Allan has announced. It is estimated some 400-plus jobs will be created with employment opportunities in ecology, restoration, trapping, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Border exception for some returning international tertiary students
    The Government has approved an exception class for 1000 international tertiary students, degree level and above, who began their study in New Zealand but were caught offshore when border restrictions began. The exception will allow students to return to New Zealand in stages from April 2021. “Our top priority continues ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Tiwai deal gives time for managed transition
    Today’s deal between Meridian and Rio Tinto for the Tiwai smelter to remain open another four years provides time for a managed transition for Southland. “The deal provides welcome certainty to the Southland community by protecting jobs and incomes as the region plans for the future. The Government is committed ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New member for APEC Business Advisory Council
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has appointed Anna Curzon to the APEC Business Advisory Council (ABAC). The leader of each APEC economy appoints three private sector representatives to ABAC. ABAC provides advice to leaders annually on business priorities. “ABAC helps ensure that APEC’s work programme is informed by business community perspectives ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Govt’s careful economic management recognised
    The Government’s prudent fiscal management and strong policy programme in the face of the COVID-19 global pandemic have been acknowledged by the credit rating agency Fitch. Fitch has today affirmed New Zealand’s local currency rating at AA+ with a stable outlook and foreign currency rating at AA with a positive ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Additional actions to keep COVID-19 out of NZ
    The Government is putting in place a suite of additional actions to protect New Zealand from COVID-19, including new emerging variants, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “Given the high rates of infection in many countries and evidence of the global spread of more transmissible variants, it’s clear that ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • 19 projects will clean up and protect waterways
    $36 million of Government funding alongside councils and others for 19 projects Investment will clean up and protect waterways and create local jobs Boots on the ground expected in Q2 of 2021 Funding part of the Jobs for Nature policy package A package of 19 projects will help clean up ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New Zealand Government acknowledges 175th anniversary of Battle of Ruapekapeka
    The commemoration of the 175th anniversary of the Battle of Ruapekapeka represents an opportunity for all New Zealanders to reflect on the role these conflicts have had in creating our modern nation, says Associate Minister for Arts, Culture and Heritage Kiri Allan. “The Battle at Te Ruapekapeka Pā, which took ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Better care for babies with tongue-tie
    Babies born with tongue-tie will be assessed and treated consistently under new guidelines released by the Ministry of Health, Associate Minister of Health Dr Ayesha Verrall announced today. Around 5% to 10% of babies are born with a tongue-tie, or ankyloglossia, in New Zealand each year. At least half can ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Prisoner disorder event at Waikeria Prison over
    The prisoner disorder event at Waikeria Prison is over, with all remaining prisoners now safely and securely detained, Corrections Minister Kelvin Davis says. The majority of those involved in the event are members of the Mongols and Comancheros. Five of the men are deportees from Australia, with three subject to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Pre-departure COVID-19 test for travellers from the UK and the US from 15 January
    Travellers from the United Kingdom or the United States bound for New Zealand will be required to get a negative test result for COVID-19 before departing, and work is underway to extend the requirement to other long haul flights to New Zealand, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins confirmed today. “The new PCR test requirement, foreshadowed last ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago