web analytics

Caption contest

Written By: - Date published: 2:11 pm, December 2nd, 2016 - 57 comments
Categories: caption contest - Tags:

spermarket-key

57 comments on “Caption contest”

  1. McFlock 1

    The Great Leader felt peckish, and wondered whether he could use a can opener as well as his staff say he uses spades and hammers…

  2. james 2

    John Key wonders if a tin of spaghetti would poll higher in the preferred PM poll than Andrew Little.

    Answer – quite possibly.

  3. Nick 3

    Thank God this can of spaghetti has more brains than National voters…..I so love spaghetti !!

  4. Ed 4

    Will we ever close the gap with the Aussies?

    It would be a change from Corned Beef.

  5. I spose I could put this shit in the donation bin when I go out – that’ll make me look good.

  6. any pictures of ponytails on this thing…

  7. Muttonbird 7

    Why do we need food banks? There’s plenty here for everyone.

  8. Hmmm–Chinese,1000 cans to the hectare. Done deal.

  9. mac1 9

    Rich man reflects in Damascus moment….. then seeks second opinion.

  10. Nate 10

    “You mean they actually eat this s#it?”

  11. Grey Area 11

    “What the hell is this thing and why are there so many on the shelves?”

  12. hmmm,chinese.1000 cans to the hectare–done deal.

  13. EE 13

    Key contemplates what his word is NOT worth to Pike River Miner families.

  14. joe90 14

    Later, on the 10th floor, Ponyboy, Bill, Gerry and Joycie get to gripes with the issues of the day……

  15. Pete 15

    “You know how last night, Lord, how I asked for another earthquake, not while I’m standing here, okay?”

  16. Neil 16

    So this is what those scum bag bludging beneficiaries eat, how can we put untraceable poison in it to kill them off

  17. One Anonymous Bloke 18

    Isn’t this the brand Don likes?

  18. mauī 19

    PM locked himself in Kaikoura supermarket and gorged himself while residents waited for food convoy official information request reveals.

  19. Roflcopter 20

    Oh look, tins of “Labour Party Poll Result Supporter Tears” on special…. 23% off.

    Only contains 8% “Leader Popularity” additives.

  20. mauī 21

    *John to checkout 3, john to checkout 3 bagging area. Fank you*

  21. The lost sheep 22

    Wonder whether this will be a good match for the ’49 Chateau Latour?

  22. Treetop 23

    Are these low fart beans?

  23. McFlock 24

    clean up giant turd on aisle 3, oh wait, it’s the PM.

  24. mosa 25

    Oh ok this a supermarket and they do spaghetti in a tin ? cheap as chips too.
    That song was right it is paradise !

    Outrageous !

  25. swordfish 26

    PM contemplates new disposable toupee (straight out of a can !)
    “Orange worked for Donald”

  26. james 27

    John Key donates to the local labour party fund raiser by giving a can of spaghetti. Doubles labour member donations.

  27. alwyn 28

    This is what we found in Premier House when the previous PM moved out.
    Apparently this was all she ate. Washed it down with prune juice.

  28. mauī 29

    *The owner of the glock pistol found on top of the baked beans in aisle 3 can collect it from Sharon at the customer service counter. Fank you*

  29. Paul Campbell 30

    I don’t understand what’s the big deal with poverty, there’s lots of food here

  30. peter swift 31

    Some cheap and nasty shit next to a $1 tin of baked beans

  31. lprent 32

    Ummm. This is another Uber moment – isn’t it?

  32. Red Hand 33

    It’s thicker I’m after not longer.

  33. mikesh 34

    Hmmm. I can actually read the list of ingredients. The font needs to be much,
    much smaller.

  34. Incognito 35

    For Christmas I was going to send the Leader of the Opposition a can of worms but this’ll be close enough.

    Very dangerous work, being a worm farmer, and I’m surprised how cheap this is!

  35. Smilin 36

    I think I remember this product but there’s been so many over the years I cant quite remember where I first saw this one
    I remember the Bank of America though

  36. Doogs 37

    “So this is what Bronagh was talking about . . . ironman food . . . must check with Richie.”

  37. fender 38

    Why can’t they make it with blue sauce, it’s always this gay red colour.

  38. fender 39

    It’s an orange shade of red so will make a fine Xmas gift for Viper, just something in appreciation for stirring up those lefties at TS.

  39. AB 40

    Akshully I can’t recall if it was a can of baked beans. I mean there is always a whole range of factors to consider and it might of been one, but the point is that there was lots of other stuff close by and the picture isn’t always clear and we’d have to do some more work on that, maybe John Shewan could kick the tyres and if it does turn out that it was a can of beans then we’ll have some options down the road bean-wise and of course there are always strategies that can come into play in situations like that when things are an issue but they aren’t always and generally I’m comfortable with the totality of the bean situation in general terms overall because we’ve got great growth in the economy and beans are going gangbusters in terms of investment returns akshully in a global sense and that’s why people still support National

  40. AB 41

    Awesome! I think I can see where the GCSB have put the microphone inside the label. Coz everyone knows that terrorists like Nucky Hager and John Stephenson eat beans. Losers!

  41. AB 42

    Jeez $1.50 a can. How do you get rich on that?

  42. AB 43

    Oh crap! I have to pretend to be interested in how much poor people pay for food.

  43. AB 44

    Call security. Wealthy kleptomaniac in aisle 7.

  44. Tophat 45

    “The advice I have say’s that this is actually a Jihad IED . We must allocate more funds to gcsb to monitor this issue.”

  45. mosa 46

    Have i got shares in this baked bean company ?

  46. Tricledrown 47

    Memories come streaming back of the state house bill English is selling.

  47. mauī 48

    In a moment of clarity that’s when he knew where all the bad organs would go, and the policy would be paid for.

  48. Doogs 49

    Spoken out of the corner of the mouth –

    “For god’s sake take the fucking photo and let’s get out of this place”

    Thinks –

    “Take me to Farro Fresh, quickly!”

  49. doc 50

    Hmmm that price looks cheap enough, better look at raising gst after the next elections.

  50. rod 51

    I think the All Blacks eat these baked bean things to make them run faster. I wonder how they work. I must get Bronagh to get me some.

  51. Tom Gould 52

    Gerry reckons he can do ten …

  52. swordfish 53

    Key “Oh, fuck it !, why don’t I just resign !!!”

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • PM’s remarks from joint stand-up with PM Morrison
    It’s my pleasure to be in Sydney today for our annual meeting, Prime Minister. It’s fair to say that since we last met, tragedy and disaster have befallen our two countries. They say that in moments of that nature, the true character of an individual comes to the fore. I ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 hours ago
  • Government takes further action to protect New Zealanders from COVID-19
    Travel restrictions introduced for Iran from today No exemptions for students from China to enter the country Increased health staff presence at international airports  The Government has announced a suite of new actions as it steps up its response to the rapidly changing global spread of the COVID-19 coronavirus.  This ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 hours ago
  • Agriculture Minister declares adverse event for Waikato primary sector
    Agriculture Minister Damien O’Connor has today classified the drought conditions in Waikato and South Auckland as an adverse event for the primary sector, unlocking $80,000 in Government support for farmers and growers. “This is recognition that the extreme and prolonged nature of this dry spell is taking its toll on ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    8 hours ago
  • Govt books in good position to respond to coronavirus
    The Crown accounts are in a strong position to weather any economic uncertainty as a result of coronavirus, with the books in surplus and expenses close to forecast, Finance Minister Grant Robertson says. The Treasury today released the Crown accounts for the seven months to January. The operating balance before ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    13 hours ago
  • Digital experts to provide advice on technological change
    Supporting New Zealand to make most of digital and data driven technologies will be the focus of a new Digital Council that begins its work today. Minister for Government Digital Services, Kris Faafoi, and Minister of Statistics, James Shaw, have confirmed the group of experts chosen to advise the Government ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    13 hours ago
  • NZ Upgrade on South Island roads
    Safety and climate change resilience are behind South Island regional roading projects that are being brought forward as part of the New Zealand Upgrade Programme, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones has announced.  As part of the NZ Upgrade, $300 million was allocated for regional investment opportunities.  “I’m pleased to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    13 hours ago
  • Milford gets connected with NZ Upgrade
    Digital and air connectivity in Fiordland are getting a big boost, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones has announced.  As part of the $12 billion New Zealand Upgrade Programme announced in January, $300 million was allocated for regional investment opportunities, to be administered by the Provincial Development Unit.  “I’m pleased ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    13 hours ago
  • NZ Upgrade for West Coast ports and roads
    West Coast ports and roads will benefit from an investment of $18.6 million to improve safety and resilience and enable future economic growth, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones announced today.   The $12 billion NZ Upgrade Programme announced last month allocated $300 million for regional investment opportunities, to be administered ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    14 hours ago
  • NZ Upgrade on North Island regional roads
    Regional roading projects that will improve safety and resilience are being brought forward as part of the New Zealand Upgrade Programme, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones has announced. As part of the NZ Upgrade, $300 million was allocated for regional investment opportunities. “I spend a lot of time in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    14 hours ago
  • Ōpōtiki Harbour finally gets green light
    The Eastern Bay of Plenty will finally get the harbour development it has wanted for decades, thanks to a $79.4 million central Government investment, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones announced today. This game-changing project will revitalise the township of Ōpōtiki and the wider Eastern Bay of Plenty, creating hundreds ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    14 hours ago
  • Land, air and sea: regions to benefit from NZ Upgrade
    Regional New Zealand will be a hive of activity in the coming months as the New Zealand Upgrade Programme delivers on its promise to modernise our infrastructure, prepare for climate change and help grow our economy. As part of the $12 billion NZ Upgrade Programme announced by the Government last ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    14 hours ago
  • Milestones marked with 2,000+ new cops
    A milestone has been reached with the graduation of more than 2,000 new Police officers since the Coalition Government took office in October 2017. Police Minister Stuart Nash says the graduation today of Wing 335 marks a surge of 2,023 new officers, and coincides with some significant breakthroughs against organised ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • New diploma helps counter cyber security threats
    Broadcasting, Communications and Digital Media Minister, Kris Faafoi, and the Minister of Education, Chris Hipkins, have welcomed a new cyber security qualification as a step towards countering cyber threats and keeping New Zealanders safe. Attending the launch of the new Level 6 Diploma of Cyber Security at Auckland’s Unitec Institute ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Celebrating 20 years of the Hauraki Gulf Marine Park
    Government Ministers today celebrated 20 years of the Hauraki Gulf Marine Park/ Ko te Pataka kai o Tikapa Moana/ Te Moananui a Toi, and recognise there is much to celebrate and so much more to do to give nature a helping hand.   Conservation Minister Eugenie Sage said “New Zealanders care deeply about nature.I want to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • NZ economy in strong position to respond to coronavirus
    Prepared remarks on coronavirus by Finance Minister Grant Robertson to the Auckland Chamber of Commerce and Massey University. Good morning ladies and gentlemen, The topic of this speech is the Budget 2020 priorities. But, given the considerable interest that I imagine is in the room about COVID-19 coronavirus, I do ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Speech at opening of Nadi Women’s Crisis Centre
    E ngā mana, e ngā reo, e ngā iwi, e ngā rau rangatira ma. Tena koutou, tena koutou, tena koutou katoa. Ni sa bula vinaka. Namaste Thank you Shamima, Hon. Minister Vuniwaqa, community leaders and Women’s Crisis Centre staff for your warm welcome. It’s an honour and privilege to officially ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Govt acts on fuel market competition
    The Government has released a comprehensive response to ensuring New Zealanders get a fairer deal at the petrol pump. This follows the Commerce Commission fuel market study which found motorists were paying more than they should for petrol and includes: Fuel Market Bill drafting, to pass mid-year Industry consultation in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Speech at Lautoka Mosque
    E ngā mana, e ngā reo, e ngā iwi, e ngā rau rangatira ma Tēnā koutou katoa Ni sa bula vinaka As-salaam alaikum It is a privilege to be here today. Thank you for welcoming us to your house of prayer. Thank you for your warmth. Thank you for greeting ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Taupō Airport upgrade takes off
    Taupō Airport is to be upgraded and expanded through a $5.9 million Government funding boost, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones has announced. “Taupō Airport is the gateway to the Central North Island. It is essential for both keeping local people and businesses connected, but also to bring more people ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Place-based assessment confirmed for Rotorua
    The Minister of Housing Megan Woods has confirmed the Government is working with Rotorua Lakes District Council and Te Arawa for the second place-based assessment to better understand the housing and urban issues affecting the city. “Every New Zealander has a right to a warm, safe and secure place to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • More houses opened for New Zealanders
    19 new community homes (in addition to 14 opened in December) delivered in Takanini, Auckland 500 people housed by CORT Housing Trust by end of March 2,290 new public housing homes delivered in Auckland (November 2017 – December 2019). Another nineteen new public housing homes are being delivered in Auckland, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • New Zealand and India to strengthen ties
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters and Minister for Trade and Export Growth David Parker met today with Indian External Affairs Minister Subrahmanyam Jaishankar to discuss ways to strengthen ties between New Zealand and India.   “India is a priority relationship for New Zealand. We share common democratic traditions, growing two-way trade, extensive people-to-people links, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • The Indo-Pacific: from principles to partnerships
    Speech to the Indian Council of World Affairs (ICWA) Delhi, India Wednesday 26 February 2020 [CHECK AGAINST DELIVERY] The Indo-Pacific: from principles to partnerships Distinguished guests, good afternoon and thank you for your invitation.  It is good to be here at a time where New Zealand needs less of an introduction than ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Speech to University of the South Pacific students
    Tihei mauri ora Te Whare e tu nei Te Papa e takoto Tēnā korua  No reira tēnā koutou, tēnā koutou, tēnā koutou katoa Ni sa bula Vinaka It is a real pleasure to be here today, and to have the honour of addressing you all. If you’ll indulge me I’m ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Proposed new measures to improve Aotearoa’s air quality
      Improved air quality to support better health and environmental wellbeing is the focus of proposed amendments to air quality regulations, says the Associate Minister for the Environment, Hon Nanaia Mahuta.  “Although our air quality is good in most places, during winter certain places have spikes in air pollution, mainly from ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Water investment in Raukokore
    The remote eastern Bay of Plenty community of Raukokere will receive a Provincial Growth Fund (PGF) investment of $10.6 million for a water storage facility, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones says. “This is great news for the rural community. The landowner, Te Whānau a Maruhaeremuri Hapū Trust, will use ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Lake Ōkaro lakebed transferred to Te Arawa as final piece of Settlement Act
    The Lake Ōkaro lakebed has transferred to Te Arawa Lakes Trust, Minister for Māori Crown Relations: Te Arawhiti Kelvin Davis announced today. Kelvin Davis joined Te Arawa at Te Papaiōuru Marae in Rotorua to celebrate the reinstatement of Te Arawa Lakes Trust as a key decision maker over the bed ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Better protection against late payments
    New legislation is being proposed which aims to reduce the stress and financial hardship caused by late payments to small businesses. The Minister for Small Business Stuart Nash is considering stricter rules around payment practices between businesses. “Late payments from large organisations to smaller suppliers can be crippling for these ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Police partnership programme with Fiji launched
    A new partnership programme between the New Zealand Police and Fiji Police will focus on combatting transnational organised crime and enhancing investigative skills, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced on the first day of her visit to Fiji. The programme will see: ·       New Zealand Institute of Environmental Science and Research ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Joint statement from Prime Minister Ardern and Prime Minister Bainimarama
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Prime Minister Josaia Voreqe Bainimarama met today in Suva, and renewed their commitment to continue to strengthen Fiji-New Zealand relations on a foundation of shared values and equal partnership. The Prime Ministers acknowledged the kinship between Fijians and New Zealanders, one that has endured over ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • $19.9 million from PGF for Kawerau
    A $19.9 million investment from the Provincial Growth Fund will help develop essential infrastructure for an industrial hub in the Bay of Plenty town of Kawerau, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones says. “The funding will go to three projects to further develop the Putauaki Trust Industrial Hub, an industrial ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • PGF funds Mahia roading package
    The Provincial Growth Fund is investing $8.3 million on a roading package for Mahia that will lead to greater and wider economic benefits for the region and beyond, Under Secretary for Regional Economic Development Fletcher Tabuteau announced at an event in Mahia today. The $8.3 million announced consists of: $7 ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • 18,400 children lifted out of poverty
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has welcomed new reporting showing the Coalition Government is on track to meet its child poverty targets, with 18,400 children lifted out of poverty as a result of the Families Package.   Stats NZ has released the first set of comprehensive child poverty statistics since the Government ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • 20,000 more Kiwi kids on bikes
    Associate Minister of Transport Julie Anne Genter today announced that Bikes in Schools facilities have been rolled out to 20,000 more kiwi kids under this Government. She made the announcement at the opening of a new bike track at Henderson North School in Auckland. “Bikes in Schools facilities give kids ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Benefit settings rise in line with wages as of 1 April
    Benefit settings rise in line with wages as of 1 April   Main benefits will increase by over 3 percent, instead of 1.66 percent, on 1 April with the Government’s decision to annually adjust benefit rates to increases in the average wage. The Minister for Social Development, Carmel Sepuloni, said ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Foreign and Trade Ministers to lead business delegation to India
    Strengthening New Zealand’s political and business ties with India will be the focus of Foreign Affairs Minister Winston Peters’ and Trade and Export Growth Minister David Parker’s visit to India this week. The Ministers are co-leading a high level business delegation to India to support increased people and economic engagement ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Minister champions more Pacific in STEM – Toloa Awards
    The Minister for Pacific Peoples, Aupito William Sio continues to champion for greater Pacific participation in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics) careers with the announcement of the Toloa Awards, with 8 recipients of the Toloa Community Fund and 13 Toloa Tertiary Scholarships. “The Toloa Programme encourages more Pacific peoples ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Submission period for whitebait consultation extended
    Conservation Minister Eugenie Sage has extended the date for people to have their say on proposed changes to improve management of whitebait across New Zealand.   Submissions were due to close on 2 March 2020 but will now remain open until 9am on Monday 16 March 2020.   “I have ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • New international protection for frequent fliers
    The endangered toroa/Antipodean albatross has new international protection for its 100,000km annual migration, thanks to collaborative efforts led by New Zealand, Australia and Chile.   Today, 130 countries agreed to strictly protect Antipodean albatross at the Conference of Parties on the Convention on the Conservation of Migratory Species of Wild ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Government to regulate vaping
      No sales to under-18-year-olds No advertising and sponsorship of vaping products and e-cigarettes No vaping or smokeless tobacco in smokefree areas Regulates vaping product safety comprehensively, - including devices, flavours and ingredients Ensure vaping products are available for those who want to quit smoking   Vaping regulation that balances ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago