National’s deadwood thicket

Written By: - Date published: 7:01 am, November 17th, 2011 - 36 comments
Categories: accountability, election 2011, national - Tags: , ,

hattip: William Joyce

36 comments on “National’s deadwood thicket ”

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  1. Bill 1
    17 November 2011 at 8:22 am

    Meh – I’m thinking they are more my servants…or meant to be. Not my employees.

  2. Akldnut 2
    17 November 2011 at 8:33 am

    To be fair I’ve seen Bennett at two Meet The Candidate meetings in the past week, and the razzing she got at the last one (to which I was part) would really make her duck for cover.

    • Hami Shearlie 2.1
      17 November 2011 at 10:04 am

      Pity she wasn’t asked why she instructed her minions to remove Carmel Sepuloni’s billboards from private properties?

    • Jilly Bee 2.2
      17 November 2011 at 10:16 am

      @ Akldnut – I was there too, the first candidates’ meeting I’ve been to for years. It was very interesting and yes, Paula Bennett did get a bollocking from the crowd, despite her Nat supporters turning up in their SUVs and suits and holding their collective noses as they ventured into Westie territory.

      • Deadly_NZ 2.2.1
        17 November 2011 at 10:54 pm

        “and holding their collective noses as they ventured into Westie territory”. Someone should have pointed out that it was the smell of the shit that Paula and co are in..

  3. jingyang 3
    17 November 2011 at 8:38 am

    Given the level of competence at their job shown by most of them, I’d doubt any self-respecting employer would hire them. At the very least they’re a clear demonstration of the “Peter Principle” in action.

  4. JS 4
    17 November 2011 at 9:04 am

    Not sure what the Nat P president looks like but he didn’t front for RadioNZ this morning after initially accepting.

    I know these are busy people but there are a lot of spare list candidates who could deputise for them and that would be preferable to just hiding from the people at election time.

    Remember when Jenny Shipley stopped having weekly press conferences in about 1998? It just makes people cross and they don’t forget.

  5. rjs131 5
    17 November 2011 at 9:13 am

    Any update on Rajan Prasad or the incredibly popular Rick Barker. Hows Ashaf Choundery?

    • Bunji 5.1
      17 November 2011 at 9:53 am

      Yeah, I saw Rajen launching the Ethnic Affairs policy in Manukau, and Rick Barker representing the Her Majesty’s Loyal Opposition in his role of Veterans’ Affairs at the Remembrance Day service (Wayne Mapp couldn’t make it though to represent the Govt…). Doing their jobs. But we’re not talking National backbenchers here, we’re talking National’s No 2, 3, 4, 5…

      • the sprout 5.1.1
        17 November 2011 at 10:13 am

        Wayne Mapp couldn’t make it though to represent the Govt

        Wayne who? Did he used to present a wildlife series on Prime?

        • Ianupnorth 5.1.1.1
          17 November 2011 at 11:27 am

          And they have an ex TV gardener standing on North Shore – nice to see they have a broad mix of ethnicities and backgrounds!

          • Hami Shearlie 5.1.1.1.1
            17 November 2011 at 11:02 pm

            An extremely ex-gardener! These people sure live on past laurels for decades. God knows how an ex-gardener and tv show host is supposed to be a good MP? She’s never even lived on the Shore – but I think her son goes to Kings with Jonkey’s little offshoot, so that’s why she’s on the billboards!

    • lprent 5.2
      17 November 2011 at 11:46 am

      You mean Labour’s MP’s. They are off doing their job. Unlike the lazy arseholes in the wanted missing poster above.

      I saw a press release going through about Labour’s policy on Veterans affairs from Rick recently. Because he is assistant speaker he has less of a profile than previously.

      Rajan Prasad – saw some press material on several policy topics over the last weeks. Really the problem is that John Key has crapped so deeply in the medias lap, that they are spending their time reporting that rather than reporting policy.

      Ashaf Choundery is a backbench MP rather than a shadow minister. He doesn’t have a high visibility to the english language media, but spends most of his effort in the Muslim community.

      But of course you knew all this, you miserable little troll.

  6. Sea bandit 6
    17 November 2011 at 9:50 am

    Johny Horner is in the corner

    • mik e 6.1
      17 November 2011 at 10:20 am

      One has to ask who’s next in line for National party leader no air apparent Act in melt down again .
      The cake walk to victory
      could become a Cat walk to obscurity

  7. Bored 7
    17 November 2011 at 10:23 am

    The picture is a bit like a “Wanted Dead or Alive” poster. It occurs these zombies don’t fit either category.

  8. JS 8
    17 November 2011 at 10:26 am

    There was a social policy meeting in Welington for the whole region and all parties to talk about policies (as the National Party now seems to want to do), and no National or Act people fronted. United Future sent their campaign manager as all their candidates were busy, which was fine with the audience. But it was an insult to all the groups and organisers that National hadn’t sent anyone at all to a major meeting in a major city three weeks before an election.

    • William Joyce 8.1
      17 November 2011 at 11:10 am

      The Nats have hygiene issues. They think they might catch something from the great unwashed.

  9. pollywog 9
    17 November 2011 at 11:05 am

    Have you seen any of these people ?.

    The first one i seen at KFC wearing a leopard skin tracksuit, sitting by herself with 2 buckets of chicken. She made snarling noises as i approached so i thought best to leave her to it.

    The second one i saw in a movie freezing Han Solo on Tattooine. Though i might be mistaken as…

    > a large, slug-like[2] alien, his appearance has been described by film critic Roger Ebert as “Dickensian,” a cross between a toad and the Cheshire Cat.[3]

    all tend to look alike when you’ve had a few.

    The third one i saw draped sexily over a crushing machine in a 3 piece teddy at the car wreckers when i went to get a tail light. Wish i hadn’t seen her though. Just made me think if she were the last woman on earth we’d become extinct.

    The fifth one i seen at Dipton hanging round a house looking shifty, peering through the boarded up windows and muttering something about ‘Im sure this is the place’. I hit him up about his dodgy antics but he reckoned he lived there. FWIW I didn’t believe him.

    The seventh one is that shapeshifting, conehead alien who tried to abduct me in my sleep and transport me back to his home planet to build hoilday highways. I showed him a trainset. It confused him enough that i was able to escape.

    The eighth one tried to sell me a gun in a supermarket car park, said i better get tooled up cos shits about to go down and if i wasn’t with him i was against him. I said i’d take my chances so he said ‘what about a clapped out skyhawk fighter jet instead’. I lold.

    The ninth one i saw down a dark alley in the seedier backstreets of Wellington. He was wearing a long overcoat with his hands in his pockets and i could hear some sort of slopping sound. I yelled at him ‘you dirty fucker, have you no shame’. He screamed back “NO ! and don’t you know who I am”…Should I ?

    The nice looking lady in blue beside the miscreant i saw at a hui the other day. She said ‘Key Aroha’. I think she meant Kia Ora but i’m not sure, cos as she said it a gush of black oil oozed out the side of her lips that totally distracted me. Made a stain on her frock that looked exactly like Tau Henare smoking a cigar shaped like John Key.

    The guy beside her i ran into at hospital. Told me he was getting a second foreskin removed from the top of his head. I asked him if that was emergency or elective surgery. He didn’t answer but gave me a ticket that said wait in line but didn’t say which line. Needless to say i didn’t fall for that one.

    The florid looking guy with half his face sliding off beside him was also at the hospital. I could see straight away he needed work. A social conscience transplant and replacing his bullshit pacemaker that he’d worn out in 3 years. Mean, butI kinda hoped they didn’t use anaesthetic on him. Dude smelt like cowshit and treesap combined…ewwww.

    First lady on the bottom row came to my kids school the other day selling second grade toilet paper with ready drawn graphs on them. Our principal told her we’re happy with the standard of paper we use already and that her paper isn’t fit to wipe the arses of pre schoolers even. She stammered some incoherent shit while her minders applauded. We lold.

    The next lady i saw heading into a disused mine on schedule 4 land with a guitar, a packed lunch, and some cheap bare footed foreign workers in tow. Fucked if i know what she was doing and i got the impression that she didn’t either. Felt sorry for those poor workers,.Next thing i hear the national anthem sung in country and western style echoing across the valley…WTF ?

    Second to last guy was at the local comedy club trying out his new stand up routine. It consisted of racially offensive jokes while pissing himself laughing and grabbing his nuts saying ‘suck em suck em’ every so often to the guy next to him who was dressed like tinkerbell from Peter Pan.

    That guy kinda looked like the last guy in that photo, but i can’t say for certain as he was wearing black face makeup. Maybe he thought it was a political statement and was adding to the cultural heritage with edgy performance art. I told him he better stay out of Tuhoe country if he didn’t want to face copyright infringement.

    The other two in that photo i wouldn’t know from a bar of soap but i feel unclean just looking at them. They look like your average LOMBARD. Loads of money but a real douche…

  10. Ianupnorth 10
    17 November 2011 at 11:30 am

    Anyone care to comment on the resemblance of Tony Ryall to David Bain?

    • Deuto 10.1
      17 November 2011 at 11:47 am

      Funnily enough, right before reading your comment, I had scrolled up to check the photos against Poly’s descriptions and thought exactly that!

    • Hami Shearlie 10.2
      17 November 2011 at 11:13 pm

      Both guilty and both wear ugly colour combinations!

    • Rodel 10.3
      18 November 2011 at 6:46 pm

      Better I like animal resemblences.
      Don Brash-tapeworm..Paula Bennet -slug…Bill English ..got to be a rat…Phil Goff- Jack Russel… Russel Normal- meercat….Key- probably a viper but not sure. Annette King..dunno…

  11. tc 11
    17 November 2011 at 12:33 pm

    gosh it’s the poster for the ‘Stop being a troughing douchbag or you’ll end up like these people’ campaign.

  12. Tel 12
    17 November 2011 at 2:45 pm

    Let’s hope it’s not a poster in three years time saying “Wanted for larceny”. Key won’t be on the poster of course, having resigned just over one year earlier to make sure his knighthood is in the post.