What the Herald would like to say
Written By:
- Date published:
10:24 am, July 29th, 2014 - 31 comments
Categories: humour, Media, parody, Satire -
Tags: nz herald, porcupine farm
Porcupine farm has a ‘real” front page of the Herald – what they’d like to publish if they only could.
See also
- Frankly speaking: When the mainstream media go feral: A tale of two holidays
- The Jackal: Vacuous ravings in the Herald
31 comments on “What the Herald would like to say ”
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The Deputy Prime Minister should apologise to the public servant he named and blamed for something they did not do, and for misusing the rules of Parliament. ...2 weeks ago
- Government action provides Southland farmers more time to meet plan requirements
The Government is taking action to ensure Southland farmers and growers are not affected by unreasonable regional farm plan deadlines, Agriculture Minister Todd McClay, Environment Minister Penny Simmonds and Associate Environment Minister Andrew Hoggard say.“Cabinet has agreed to provide more time for farmers and growers to comply with regional rules ...13 hours ago - Bill reaffirms Government’s commitment to crack down on serious youth offending
The Oranga Tamariki (Responding to Serious Youth Offending) Bill had its first reading at Parliament today. The Bill reaffirms the Government’s commitment to crack down on serious youth offending, Minister for Children Karen Chhour says. “In recent years we have seen an unacceptable spike in youth offending. “This Bill makes ...14 hours ago
- Critical milestones for earthquake buildings review
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- State of the art radiology machine for Auckland
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- First arrests made under gang patch ban
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Tēnā koutou katoa – it is a pleasure to be here today. I would like to begin by acknowledging the important leadership role you all play in ensuring a quality health system New Zealanders can trust. There is enormous clinical expertise in this room covering a wide range of disciplines. ...2 days ago
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Tēnā koutou katoa. Mr President, Excellencies, Delegates. New Zealand, and all nations represented here today, are already dealing with the impacts of climate change. Our households, businesses, and economies are bearing the costs of its effects. The choices we make now will shape the severity of these impacts for generations ...2 days ago
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The free ride for gangs is over when the clock strikes midnight tonight, with tough new laws officially coming into effect, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith and Police Minister Mark Mitchell say. “Gang patches will no longer be able to be worn in public. To earn the right to wear a ...2 days ago
- LGFA increases borrowing capacity to support high growth councils
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Legislation that will specifically criminalise foreign interference and strengthen espionage offences has passed first reading in Parliament today, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. “It is normal and appropriate for states to interact and work to influence one another. This encourages cooperation and can have mutually beneficial outcomes. “However, the reality ...3 days ago
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Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed news that the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) Board has approved funding towards pre-implementation and early works on the State Highway 1 (SH1) Belfast to Pegasus Motorway and Woodend Bypass Road of National Significance (RoNS). “Reaching this significant milestone is a reflection of our Government’s ...3 days ago
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- Launching the White Ribbon Ride
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- NZ signs trade deal with Costa Rica, Iceland and Switzerland
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- Speech to Social Investment Hui: Jack and his whānau need our help
Kia ora koutou katoa. Nau mai, haere mai, piki mai. Ki te mihi atu ahau, ki te manwhenua nei, Te Atiawa, Ngāti toa rangatira, tēnā koutou, tēnā koutou, tēnā koutou katoa. Thank you, Andy, for your introduction. Let me acknowledge you as the new Chief Executive of the Social Investment ...7 days ago
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There is plenty yet to play out, but the next election is at this rate shaping up as trio versus trio, writes Toby Manhire. A subplot of this week’s historic hīkoi mō te Tiriti has been the sight of the three opposition parties presenting a unified front. Te Pāti Māori ...1 hour ago - All 33 malls in Auckland ranked from worst to best
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Prime Minister Christopher Luxon did not meet the Treaty Principles Bill hikoi crowd, sees “nothing” of merit in the Act-proposed law but the Parliament his Government dominates will spend six months debating a “divisive” measure.That’s because he has accepted there needs to be “aeration” of people’s views on the Treaty, ...1 hour ago
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Loading…(function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){var ql=document.querySelectorAll('A[data-quiz],DIV[data-quiz]'); if(ql){if(ql.length){for(var k=0;k<ql.length;k++){ql[k].id='quiz-embed-'+k;ql[k].href="javascript:var i=document.getElementById('quiz-embed-"+k+"');try{qz.startQuiz(i)}catch(e){i.start=1;i.style.cursor='wait';i.style.opacity='0.5'};void(0);"}}};i['QP']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){(i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o),m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m)})(window,document,'script','https://take.quiz-maker.com/3012/CDN/quiz-embed-v1.js','qp');Got a good quiz question? Send Newsroom your questions.The post Newsroom daily quiz, Friday 22 November appeared first on Newsroom. ...1 hour ago
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- China likely to strengthen regional relationships in response to another Trump term
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A framework for global carbon trading under the Paris Agreement is finally nearing completion at COP29 in Baku, Azerbaijan after years of halting talks.Climate Change Minister Simon Watts is one of two ministers tasked by the COP29 hosts with landing a long-sought deal on Article 6 of the climate accord, ...1 hour ago
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The server will be getting hardware changes this evening starting at 10pm NZDT.
The site will be off line for some hours.
Yes. It’s excellent. Saw it used on The Daily Blog today.
You’re lucky. Haven’t had time to read anything for the past week or so.
I found that post as a result of reading a comment on TS – about Cactus Kate & Josie Pagani being guest columnists for the Herald.
Bradbury’s post about the (alleged) attempt at balance at the Herald.
oh good a tax lawyer living in hong kong telling us all what she thinks….now wd have collins covering nz and china and kathy ogden hong kong.
Hilarious! And not that far removed from what they actually print.
I’m circulating that widely to galvanise the Progressive Voters to come out in huge numbers to change the government.
Ha ha. Yes unfortunately only slightly different from the real thing
The only unbelievable part is Ozzy knowing who Cunliffe is.
It was a misquote that the herald just ran with because it fitted the story they wanted
I would have gone with death eaters for Labours caucus
At least the Death Eaters were nominally loyal to their Leader.
Brilliant stuff. I’m reminded of this from Danyl at The Dim Post…http://dimpost.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/nznatp.jpg
Seems to me that the NZ Print media is now as overtly partisan as their British counterparts……except that in the UK they have Tory and Labour supporting dailies. Here, they prefer to support just the one party.
absolutely brilliant. Spot on………..we should seriously get this out there. Pay for an add in the Herald. I am tempted to email it to all the Herald jouros and their editor!
It just came to me one day – probably having taken a dose of that disgraceful old jonolist/worshipper Armstrong – ‘TheGodKey’
I find Cactus Kate fascinating.As far as I can tell she lives and works in Hong Kong which appears to be a choice that suits her just fine.
But why does she need to keep telling the rest of us in a far away country how we should live our lives based on her choices? Is she channeling Don Brash who never seemed to understand that he was not in charge of our lives and our choices. What do these uber bossy people get out of their behaviour?
She’s another psychopath. No empathy for anyone except those people she regards as her own. Gets a kick out of treating people like crap. She’s no oil painting either, but thinks she’s superior to the rest of us.
No oil painting? Deborah Cone Hill won’t be impressed.
Too bad. I don’t think either of them are sexy enough for me. Odgers is pretty vacant, but like most morans who find and dominate the principles of libertarian philosophy, considers herself some sort of genius. She also loves throwing out sexual innuendo, particularly at the Whalespew army. I doubt if anyone else would go for her. She is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.
Murray the word is “moron”.
Definition – a man who cannot even spell the word correctly when abusing someone else he does not know on a blog.
I am sure you look like Brad Pitt.
moran.
They tell me that I look more like Steven Seagal or Johnny Depp in his pirate roles, actually. And, as McFlock knows, moran is a gift that keeps giving.
sigh Do try to keep up… That was the whole point.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439×1758384
Internet fail, Kate. Call yourself a blogger? Call yourself in touch?
Oh look, yesterday’s news is here. Hi Kate.
I can’t recall ever commenting negatively on another woman’s appearance Anne unless they have made a particularly stupid comment about another woman’s first.
That’s just the first reason why I actually am superior to you. Despite you hiding in anonymity on a blog I still will not comment on what I am guessing your appearance to be.
I love you Cactus Kate.
The first of many differences between us RedBaron is that I don’t find you fascinating at all.
Nice to see you back as bad as ever Prickly One: have missed your own column, hope the wrist is better.
I’m sure there are very many differences CK, at least I hope so, for my sake. But on rereading my post perhaps I should make it clear that it is your behaviour that I find fascinating. Why do you send so much time and energy on an election far far from your home? You appear to wish to live a life with minimal state intervention and I assume you do. But why do you run around like Don Brash bossily demanding that everyone else lives as you do?
Don’t know if anyone else has seen that the Guardian has noticed the Herald’s attempts to establish a global reputation.
Jonolist protip: when looking for a photo of a deceased expat NZer, don’t assume that the pics on his facebook page are of him rather than a deceased celebrity.
– The New Zealand Herald
Ha. Where was this sort of contrition after publishing fictional stories about books, wine, and Yangtze River cruises?