What the Herald would like to say

Written By: - Date published: 10:24 am, July 29th, 2014 - 31 comments
Categories: humour, Media, parody, Satire - Tags: ,

Porcupine farm has a ‘real” front page of the Herald – what they’d like to publish if they only could.


See also

31 comments on “What the Herald would like to say”

  1. karol 1

    Yes. It’s excellent. Saw it used on The Daily Blog today.

  2. Olwyn 2

    Hilarious! And not that far removed from what they actually print.

  3. Kiwiri 3

    I’m circulating that widely to galvanise the Progressive Voters to come out in huge numbers to change the government.

  4. Richard 4

    Ha ha. Yes unfortunately only slightly different from the real thing

  5. Puckish Rogue 5

    I would have gone with death eaters for Labours caucus

  6. swordfish 6

    Brilliant stuff. I’m reminded of this from Danyl at The Dim Posthttp://dimpost.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/nznatp.jpg

    Seems to me that the NZ Print media is now as overtly partisan as their British counterparts……except that in the UK they have Tory and Labour supporting dailies. Here, they prefer to support just the one party.

  7. anker 7

    absolutely brilliant. Spot on………..we should seriously get this out there. Pay for an add in the Herald. I am tempted to email it to all the Herald jouros and their editor!

  8. North 8

    It just came to me one day – probably having taken a dose of that disgraceful old jonolist/worshipper Armstrong – ‘TheGodKey’

  9. RedBaronCV 9

    I find Cactus Kate fascinating.As far as I can tell she lives and works in Hong Kong which appears to be a choice that suits her just fine.

    But why does she need to keep telling the rest of us in a far away country how we should live our lives based on her choices? Is she channeling Don Brash who never seemed to understand that he was not in charge of our lives and our choices. What do these uber bossy people get out of their behaviour?

    • Anne 9.1

      She’s another psychopath. No empathy for anyone except those people she regards as her own. Gets a kick out of treating people like crap. She’s no oil painting either, but thinks she’s superior to the rest of us.

      • Weepus beard 9.1.1

        No oil painting? Deborah Cone Hill won’t be impressed.

        • Murray Olsen

          Too bad. I don’t think either of them are sexy enough for me. Odgers is pretty vacant, but like most morans who find and dominate the principles of libertarian philosophy, considers herself some sort of genius. She also loves throwing out sexual innuendo, particularly at the Whalespew army. I doubt if anyone else would go for her. She is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.

      • Cactus Kate 9.1.2

        I can’t recall ever commenting negatively on another woman’s appearance Anne unless they have made a particularly stupid comment about another woman’s first.

        That’s just the first reason why I actually am superior to you. Despite you hiding in anonymity on a blog I still will not comment on what I am guessing your appearance to be.

    • Cactus Kate 9.2

      The first of many differences between us RedBaron is that I don’t find you fascinating at all.

      • Ennui 9.2.1

        Nice to see you back as bad as ever Prickly One: have missed your own column, hope the wrist is better.

      • RedBaronCV 9.2.2

        I’m sure there are very many differences CK, at least I hope so, for my sake. But on rereading my post perhaps I should make it clear that it is your behaviour that I find fascinating. Why do you send so much time and energy on an election far far from your home? You appear to wish to live a life with minimal state intervention and I assume you do. But why do you run around like Don Brash bossily demanding that everyone else lives as you do?

  10. McFlock 10

    Don’t know if anyone else has seen that the Guardian has noticed the Herald’s attempts to establish a global reputation.

    Jonolist protip: when looking for a photo of a deceased expat NZer, don’t assume that the pics on his facebook page are of him rather than a deceased celebrity.

  11. Weepus beard 11

    I would also like to apologise to our readers. The public trust us to get it right, and we must make sure that this does not happen again.

    – The New Zealand Herald
    Ha. Where was this sort of contrition after publishing fictional stories about books, wine, and Yangtze River cruises?

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Compliance strengthened for property speculation
    Inland Revenue is to gain greater oversight of land transfer information to ensure those buying and selling properties are complying with tax rules on property speculation. Cabinet has agreed to implement recommendation 99 of the Tax Working Group’s (TWG) final ...
    11 hours ago
  • Plan to expand protection for Maui and Hector’s dolphins
    The Government is taking action to expand and strengthen the protection for Māui and Hector’s dolphins with an updated plan to deal with threats to these native marine mammals. Minister of Conservation Eugenie Sage and Minister of Fisheries Stuart Nash ...
    17 hours ago
  • Cameras on vessels to ensure sustainable fisheries
    Commercial fishing vessels at greatest risk of encountering the rare Māui dolphin will be required to operate with on-board cameras from 1 November, as the next step to strengthen our fisheries management system. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Fisheries Minister ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Greatest number of new Police in a single year
    A new record for the number of Police officers deployed to the regions in a single year has been created with the graduation today of Recruit Wing 326. Police Minister Stuart Nash says the graduation of 78 new constables means ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Ensuring multinationals pay their fair share of tax
    New Zealand is pushing on with efforts to ensure multinational companies pay their fair share of tax, with the release of proposed options for a digital services tax (DST). In February Cabinet agreed to consult the public on the problem ...
    2 weeks ago